Let’s YOYO By ANONYMOUS
Y
ou’re Only Young Once. While it’s not quite YOLO, my current life philosophy permeates my views on sex and relationships. When I am YOYOing, I am not playing with two disks on a string — I assure you that I am having a lot more fun. When you’re in college, you’re probably at the peak of your attractiveness. Some of us may hay have been lucky enough to be the hot ones in high school: the Prom Kings and Queens, the jocks, the boys and girls next door. Though I can only speak for myself, I was unfortunately unable to avoid an extraordinarily awkward stage, a period of my life that began before high school and ended only after I got to Harvard. On the other hand, some of us may age well and look fantastic late into our 20s and 30s — the future MILFs and DILFs among us. But when you’re 18-22, you have something so incredibly attractive that you’ll never have again: youth. Before I go any further, I must clarify — technically, you did have youth when you were sixteen. But now that you’re over eighteen, your youth is different; it’s legal. As a legal adult with youth, you probably have more energy than you’ve ever had before and you’ll ever have again. You can successfully do your (way too many) extracurriculars, and you can pull allnighters with relative ease. You can party every night during Reading Period, and you just have that zest for life, probably paired with a voracious sex drive. And if you’re beautiful, you’re probably more beautiful than you’ve ever been, and your beauty will only fade. Your skin looks healthy and wrinklefree; your teeth, as white as they’ll ever be. Getting a face-lift has never crossed your mind. You’re energetic, you’re beautiful, and you’re in 4 harvardindependent.com
How I view sex in young adulthood.
college. Your opportunities are endless; any future is still imaginable. Professor? Okay. Doctor? Sure. World leader? Fine. This is the only time in your life when your future is simultaneously uncertain, open to endless possibilities, yet almost within reach. Given these blessings, I have trouble understanding why any legal youth would desire a boyfriend or girlfriend. You have your entire life to be buckled down. You can make your marriage last decades, or you can elect to have more than one. Love is love is love; it is out there waiting for you beyond the ends of youth and for many years to come. Girls and boys, your spouse-searching should be only in the back of your mind. Don’t rush. If you are a Harvard College student, I am like you in that I, too, am still blessed with youth. And to me, the concept of having a significant other is off-putting. I haven’t even lived two full decades. Why would I find it necessary to commit to a single person? Why not wait until later? In the meantime, I can have fun. I can have sex with a different beautiful person every weekend. Hot, steamy sex without a single dull moment. I can have threesomes. Foursomes. I can flirt shamelessly. I can quench my ever-present sexual thirst that you probably have, too. You can call me a whore. A slut. But I’m just YOYOing, and I don’t believe that I’m doing any harm to others or myself in the process. But what about diseases? Pregnancy? Simple solution: get tested regularly and wear protection. What about feelings? If you can, put them aside while you live in the moment. Trust me, it’s easier than you think. But doesn’t it get boring? Less special? Um, no, no it does not. Not at all.
But what about the benefits of relationships? In response to that reasonable hesitation, I have a short story. I once had sex with a guy, and we quickly became regular fuckbuds, seeing each other as true friends. He then suddenly told me that he found someone to date online, so our “relationship” came to an end. Admittedly, I was a bit crushed; I truly enjoyed the arrangement we had. I wondered why I, too, wasn’t trying to date. Months later, I received a text with my answer: “It didn’t work out. At all.” My fuckbuddy ended up being crushed — more crushed than I was — and his failure at dating reminded me why I don’t even bother. For the record, we are fuckbuds again, our relationship as it was before. To be sure, I am not suggesting that you have sex every weekend with someone new or find a few friends with benefits. Rather, I suggest that as you make your relationship decisions — Should I say yes? Should I change my relationship status on Facebook? — remember that a relationship may close more doors than it opens. Remember that you’re only young once, so you should YOYO. What that exactly means depends on the person. For me, it means living sex-positively, viewing sex as the pleasurable thing that it is, allowing myself to live spontaneously yet safely. For others, it might mean thinking twice before making a commitment, or just finally displaying a willingness to let loose next Friday night. Promiscuous Boy literally can’t wait to get it on. To contact the author of this article, write to editorinchief@ harvardindependent.com.
04.25.13 • The Harvard Independent