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FRED VAN LENTE

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RYAN DUNLAVEY

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#2

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FRED VAN LENTE

RYAN DUNLAVEY

REAL HIST OR FAKE JOKE Y! S!

ABRAHAM

LINCOLN! AP_Lincoln_int_des4_cc15.indd 3

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Action Presidents #2: Abraham Lincoln! Copyright Š 2018 by Ryan Dunlavey and Fred Van Lente All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address HarperCollins Children’s Books, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007. www.harpercollinschildrens.com Library of Congress Control Number: 2017954078 ISBN 978-0-06-239407-1 (trade bdg.) The artist used Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator to create the digital illustrations for this book. 17 18 19 20 21 CG/LSCH 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 v First Edition

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For Gretchen, my super sis, a great teacher and inspiration —FVL For Luke! —RD

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OKAY, KIDS, WE HAVE ABOUT A HALF HOUR AT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL - BE BACK HERE IN TIME FOR LUNCH!

UGH! BLAH BLAH BLAH... A BUNCHA WORDS...

…SOME BIG STONE GUY…

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…WHO CARES?!

IF IT DOESN'T HAVE EXPLOSIONS OR FART JOKES, IT DOESN'T APPLY TO MY LIFE!!

THAT WOULD EXPLAIN YOUR FAVORITE PHONE GAME....

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THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, KID!!

DID YOU SAY THAT?

WHOA! WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?

NO! PSSST! OVER HERE!

NOAH THE HISTORKEY!

DO YOU CRAVE DANGER?

Histor His key = Turketyory + (duh)

ADVENTURE?

|'M LISTENING.

DEFINITELY! SORT OF.

FART JOKES?

THEN FOLLOW ME! | WAS PARDONED BY THE WHITE HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING, BUT ON ONE CONDITION: NOAH, YOU MUST USE YOUR NEWFOUND FREEDOM TO SPREAD THE AWESOME AWESOMENESS OF HISTORY TO THE PEOPLE.

OR WE OKAY! COULD HISTORY! ALWAYS YOU GOT IT! GO WITH NOAH'S YOUR PLAN B… BIRD!

BUT IS THAT REALLY FREEDOM, IF THERE ARE STRINGS ATTACHED? SEEMS TO ME LIKE YOU JUST HAVE ME IN A CAGE BY ANOTHER NAME —

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WAIT FOR US, TALKING BIRD!

UH IS THIS REALLY A GOOD IDEA...?

HEY, KID, HAVE YOU SEEN A PUSHY ANIMAL MASCOT TRYING TO TALK HISTORY TO RANDOM CHILDREN?

UM… MAYBE?

WELL, DON'T KEEP IT TO YOURSELF IF YOU DO — HE'S SERIOUSLY CRAZY!

C'MON, GET THE LEAD OUT! YOU DON'T KEEP HISTORY WAITING!

UH-OH! IN THAT CASE — WAI—

WE! HAVE! TO! GET! OUT! OF! HERE!

HUH? SPEAK UP!

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COLD STONE MONUMENTS ARE ALL WELL AND GOOD —

— BUT I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE REAL REASON YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT OL' ABE LINCOLN!

TO THE BRAIN THROUGH THE SO HOLD HEART WHILE ON TIGHT SLIDING DOWN AND PREPARE THE FUNNY TO HAVE YOUR BONE! WORLD ROCKED BY THE AMAZING TRUE STORY OF —

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ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS BORN IN 1809 INTO A COUNTRY ALREADY DIVIDED!

ABRAHAM LINCOLN ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS BORN 1809 WAS BORN IN IN 1809 INTO A COUNTRY INTO A COUNTRY ALREADY DIVIDED! ALREADY DIVIDED!

UNTIL THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, SLAVERY EXISTED IN ALL THIRTEEN OF GREAT BRITAIN'S ORIGINAL COLONIES. UNTIL THE AMERICAN UNTIL THE AMERICAN

REVOLUTION, SLAVERY REVOLUTION, SLAVERY EXISTED ALL THIRTEEN EUROPEANS EXISTED IN IN ALL THIRTEEN OF GREAT BRITAIN'S OF GREAT BRITAIN'S ORIGINAL COLONIES. BROUGHT ENSLAVED ORIGINAL COLONIES. AFRICANS TO THE "NEW

WORLD" TO DO THE WORK

EUROPEANS EUROPEANS WHITE COLONISTS WOULDN'T BROUGHT ENSLAVED BROUGHT DOENSLAVED — OR THERE AFRICANS TO THE "NEW SIMPLY AFRICANS TOWEREN’T THE "NEW ENOUGH WORLD" TO DO THE WORK WORLD" TO DO WHITES THE WORK TO DO. WHITE COLONISTS WOULDN'T WHITE COLONISTS WOULDN'T — OR THERE SIMPLY DODO — OR THERE SIMPLY WEREN’T ENOUGH WEREN’T ENOUGH BUT SLAVERY WHITES WHITES TOTO DO.DO.

BECAME MOST IMPORTANT TO THE SOUTHERN

BUT SLAVERY BUT SLAVERY PART OF THE COUNTRY. BECAME MOST IMPORTBECAME MOST IMPORTTHE WARMER CLIMATE ANT TO THE SOUTHERN ANT TO THE SOUTHERN ALLOWED FOR LARGE PART THE COUNTRY. PART OFOF THE COUNTRY. PLANTATIONS THE WARMER CLIMATEGROWING THE WARMER CLIMATE RICE,FOR TOBACCO, ALLOWED LARGE SUGAR, ALLOWED FORAND LARGE COTTON. PLANTATIONS GROWING PLANTATIONS GROWING RICE, TOBACCO, SUGAR, RICE, TOBACCO, SUGAR, AND COTTON. AND COTTON.

These planters

These planters These planters convinced themselves convinced themselves convinced themselves the only way to make the only way to make theaonly way to make profit was if they a profit was if they a profit was iflabor. they used slave used slave labor. used slave labor.

American slavery was inescapable. American slavery was inescapable. Slaves' lives were full of hardship Slaves' lives were full of hardshipAmerican slavery was inescapable. Slaves' lives were full of hardship Anyone whose mother was a slave and horror. They could killed, Anyone whose mother was a slave and horror. They could be killed, Anyone whose mother was a slave and horror. They could bebe killed, was automatically born a born slave.a slave. abused, and sold away from their was automatically abused, and sold away from their was automatically born a slave. abused, and sold away from their was impossible for black families for any reason. Under Itnearly was impossible nearly impossible for black It It was nearly for black families for any reason. Under families for any reason. Under slaves buy win their own the law they were property, not not slaves toto buy or win their own the law they were property, not slaves toor buy or win their own the law they were property, freedom. people. freedom. people. freedom. people.

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Northern states outlawed slavery during and after the American Revolution, Northern states it outlawed slavery during and aftereconomy the American Revolution, partly because wasn’t that important to their and violated the partlyideals because wasn’tfor that important toAmericans their economy and violated of it freedom which so many fought and died. the ideals of freedom for which so many Americans fought and died. Abraham Lincoln was born in Kentucky, a slave state. His father was Thomas Lincoln, poor white farmer who didn'tstate. own any was Abraham Lincoln awas born in Kentucky, a slave Hisslaves. fatherItwas hard for him to acompete withfarmer large slave-owning plantations. Thomas Lincoln, poor white who didn't own any slaves. It was hard for him to compete with large slave-owning plantations.

When Abe was just seven, Thomas the seven, When Abemoved was just Lincolnsmoved to Indiana… Thomas the Lincolns to Indiana… ...part of the "Northwest Territory." This was land ...part of the "Northwest that had been owned by Territory." This was land individual colonies that had been ownedand by didn’t become became part individual colonies and of the become US untilbecame 1787. part didn’t of the US until 1787. The US banned slavery in the US Northwest Territory. The banned slavery in Southern states didn't the Northwest Territory. want to compete with Southern states didn'tthe new states selling tobacco want to compete with the and states cotton. selling tobacco new and cotton. THOUGH THE SLAVE STATES THOUGH THE CHANGED THEIR SLAVE STATES TUNE ABOUT CHANGED THEIR THATABOUT SOON TUNE ENOUGH — THAT SOON ENOUGH —

- FOR NOW, THEY WERE HAPPY - FOR NOW,BECAUSE THEY THE SLAVE WERENUMBER HAPPY OF BECAUSE ANDNUMBER “FREE”OF STATES THE SLAVE WAS“FREE” ABOUT STATES EQUAL. AND WAS ABOUT EQUAL.

WHY DID BOTH WHY SIDES DID HAVE SIDES TO BE BOTH EQUAL? HAVE TO BE EQUAL?

A LOT OF IT HAS ATOLOT DO OF WITH IT THE WAY LEGISLATIVE HAS OUR TO DO WITH THE BRANCH GOVERNWAY OUR OF LEGISLATIVE MENT ISOFMADE UP. BRANCH GOVERNMENT IS MADE UP.

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has ahas membership decided by by ahas decided has amembership membership decided a membership decided bystate, hashas apopulation: membership decided by population: the more people in by your the more people in state, a membership decided by population: the more people inyour your state, population: the more people in your state, has a membership decided by population: the more people your state, thepopulation: more congresspeople youin get to send to the the more congresspeople you get to send to the the more people in your state, the more congresspeople you get to send toHouse. the House. the more you get tothe send toHouse. the House. the congresspeople more people in to your state, thepopulation: more congresspeople you get send to House. the more congresspeople you get to send to the House. the more congresspeople you get to send to the House.

This This is sois small states can'tcan't so small states This is so small states can't This is so small states can't This is so small states can't get more power than big states! get more power than big states! This is so small states can't get more power than big states! get more power than big states! This is so small states can't getget more power than big states! more power power than than big big states! states! get more You vote for You for Youvote vote for for You vote YouYou vote for the congressthe congressvote for the congressthe congressvote for theYou congressperson in person in the congressperson in in the congressperson inperson your district your district person in your district your district person in your district every two every two your district every two two every your district every two years! years! every two years! years! every two years! years! years!

To beTo a be congressperson, you must be 25be aacongressperson, you To beTo congressperson, youmust must be25 25 be a congressperson, you must be 25 To be aold, congressperson, youyou must be 25 years aold, US citizen for 7for years, and years a US citizen 7 years, and To be a congressperson, must be 25 years old, a US citizen for 7 years, and and years old, a US citizen for 7 years, To live be a in congressperson, you must be 25 years old, a US citizen for 7 years, and live in the state you're representing! the you're representing! years old, USstate citizen for years, and live instate the state you're representing! live in the state you're representing! years old, aa US citizen for 77 years, and live in the you're representing! live in the state you're representing! live in the state you're representing! Only Only the the OnlyHouse theHouse House Only the House Only the House can raise taxes can raise taxes Only the House can raise taxes can raise taxes Only the House cancan raise taxes and spend and spend raise taxes and spend and spend raise taxes andcan spend government government and spend government government and spend government money! money! government money! money! government money! money! money! Only Only the House can can the Only theHouse House can can Only the Only the House canHouse decide to impeach, decide to impeach, Only the House can decide to impeach, decide tocan impeach, Only the House decide to impeach, or get rid of, a or get rid of, decide to impeach, orrid get rid of, or get ridaaof, a to impeach, or decide get of, aor president or other president or get rid rid of, president or other president or other or get of, aaother president or other high Federal high Federal president orFederal other highhigh Federal president or other high Federal official! official! high Federal official! official! high Federal official! official! official!

Andrew Johnson Andrew Johnson Andrew Johnson Andrew Johnson (1808-1875) Andrew Johnson (1808-1875) (1808-1875) Andrew Johnson (1808-1875) 17th US President, Andrew Johnson (1808-1875) 17th US President, 17th 17th US President, US President, (1808-1875) 1stUS Impeached 17th President, (1808-1875) 1st Impeached 1stPresident, Impeached 1st Impeached 17th US President 1st Impeached 17th President, President President President 1stUS Impeached President 1st Impeached President President

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makes the laws of makes the laws of the United makes the laws ofStates. makes the laws of the makes the laws ofofof makes the laws makes the laws ofStates. ItUnited is made up the United States. the United States. is made up of the United States. the United States. the United States. two separate but isIt made up of ItItis made up of two separate but is made up of It is up of Ittwo is It made up made of equal houses: two separate but separate but equal houses: two separate but two separate but two separate but equal houses: equal houses: houses: equal houses: equalequal houses:

makes the the United It is made two separa equal hous

has a membership has a membership decided by state: has a membership has a membership has a membership decided by state: has astate: membership has a membership every state gets two senators! decided by decided by state: decided by state: every state two senators! decided bygets state: decided by state: every state gets two senators! every state gets two senators! state gets two senators! every state two senators! everyevery state gets twogets senators! This is so big states This is so big states get more power This iscan't soget big states This is so big states This is so big states can't more power This is so big states This is so big states than small states! can't get more power can't get more power can't get more power than small states! can't get more power can't get more power than small states! than small states! small states! than small states! than than small states! has a membership decided by state: every state gets two senators!

he House.

This is so big states can't get more power than small states! To be a senator, you must be 30 years Toaabe a asenator, you must beyears 30 years old, US citizen for 930 years, and live be senator, you must be 30 years ToTobe senator, you must be senator, you must be 30 years US for 9be years, and To be acitizen senator, you must be 30 live years Toold, beToa aold, senator, you must be 30 years inacitizen the state you're representing! old, a US citizen for 9 years, and live US for 9 years, and live old, a US citizen for 9 years, and live in the state you're representing! old, a US citizen for 9 years, and live old, a US citizen for 9 years, and live inthe the state you're representing! in state you're representing! in state the state you're representing! in the state you're representing! in the you're representing!

You vote You vote for the YouYou vote You vote vote for the You vote You vote senator for the for the for the senator for the for the from your senator senator senator from Toyour be a senator, you must be 30 years senator senator state from your from your from your state old, US citizen for 9 years, and live from your from your every asix state state state every insix the state you're representing! state state years! every six every six every six six years! every every six years! years! years! years! years!

small states can't ower than big states!

, you must be 25 for 7 years, and e representing!

y the House raise taxes spend ernment ney!

y the House can ide to impeach, get rid of, a sident or other h Federal icial!

You vote for the senator from your state every six years!

Only the Senate can Only the Senate can agree to presidential Only the Senate can Only the Senate can Only the Senate can agree to presidential Only the Senate can Only the Senate can appointments and agree to presidential agree to presidential agree to presidential appointments andforeign to presidential agree toagree presidential treaties with appointments and appointments and appointments and treaties with foreign appointments and appointments and countries (among treaties with foreign treaties with foreign treaties with foreign countries (among treaties with foreign treaties with foreign other things)! countries (among countries (among countries (among other things)! countries (among countries (among other things)! other things)! things)! other things)! otherother things)! When the House wants to When the House wants to the impeach awants president, When the House toto When the House wants to When the House wants impeach awants president, theto When the House wants When the House to Senate hears the trial! impeach a president, the impeach a president, the impeach a president, the the Senate hears the trial! impeach a trial! president, impeach ahears president, the Senate the trial! Senate hears the Only the Senate can Senate hears the trial! Senate hears the Senate hears the trial! agree to trial! presidential appointments and with not foreign Thetreaties Senate voted to The Senate voted not to countries (among impeach President Johnson... The Senate voted not to The Senate voted not to impeach President Johnson... The Senate voted not to other things)! The Senate voted not to The Senate voted to by not one vote! impeach President Johnson... impeach President Johnson... by vote! one vote! impeach President Johnson... impeach President Johnson... impeach President Johnson... byone one vote! by by one vote! by one vote! by one vote! When the House wants to impeach a president, the Senate hears the trial!

Andrew Johnson AP_Lincoln_int_des4_cc15.indd (1808-1875)

9

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THE TWO HOUSES OF THE TWO HOUSES OF CONGRESS MUST WORK CONGRESSTOMUST TOGETHER PASSWORK BILLS TOGETHER TO PASS BILLS THAT SENT THEARE TWOTHEN HOUSES OFTO THAT THEN SENT THE ARE PRESIDENT TO BETO CONGRESS MUST WORK THE PRESIDENT TOBILLS BE SIGNED INTO LAW. TOGETHER TO PASS SIGNED INTO LAW. THAT ARE THEN SENT TO THE PRESIDENT TO BE SIGNED INTO LAW.

RIGHT! RIGHT! MUCH OF THE MUCH OF THE GOVERNMENT'S GOVERNMENT'S RIGHT! POWER LIES IN POWER LIES IN— MUCH OF THE THE CONGRESS THE CONGRESS GOVERNMENT'S— POWER LIES IN THE CONGRESS —

rate ede onf a)te he C eduesrly fio py t n o C Pap v e b h t (o d paywda (obviously) pr PaC Crawdad erate e Confed Pappy tdhad (obviously) w BOTH SLAVE STATES —aSO Cr — AND SO BOTH FREESLAVE STATESSTATES HAD AND FREETOSTATES HAD REASONS MAKE SURE MAKETHE SURE THERE ABOUT SAME —REASONS SOWERE BOTHTO SLAVE STATES THERE ABOUT SAME AMOUNT OF EACH OFTHE THEM — ANDWERE FREE STATES HAD AMOUNT OF TO EACH OF THEM REASONS MAKE SURE — THERE WERE ABOUT THE SAME AMOUNT OF EACH OF THEM —

— SO NEITHER — SO NEITHER HAD MORE VOTES HAD VOTES IN MORE CONGRESS CONGRESS —INTHAN SO NEITHER THE THE HADTHAN MORE VOTES OTHER! OTHER! IN CONGRESS THAN THE OTHER!

SEEMS SEEMS SIMPLE. SIMPLE. SEEMS SIMPLE.

AND IT AND IT WAS… WAS… AND IT WAS…

HEY! HEY! HEY!

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WE WE IN IN WE IN

WANT WANT TOO! TOO! WANT TOO!

…EXCEPT …EXCEPT THE UNITED THE UNITED STATES KEPT STATES KEPT …EXCEPT EXPANDING EXPANDING THE UNITED WEST AND WEST AND STATES KEPT ADDING NEW ADDING NEW EXPANDING STATES! STATES! WEST AND ADDING NEW STATES!

AND EVERY TIME, AND EVERYWOULD TIME, CONGRESS CONGRESS ARGUE ABOUT WOULD WHETHER ARGUE THOSE STATESWHETHER WOULD AND ABOUT EVERY TIME, THOSE STATES WOULD HAVE SLAVERY CONGRESS WOULD HAVE ORSLAVERY NOT! ARGUE ABOUT WHETHER NOT! WOULD THOSE OR STATES HAVE SLAVERY OR NOT!

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IN 1819, CONGRESS EXTENDED AN IMAGINARY LINE FROM THE SOUTHERN BORDER OF MISSOURI.

ANY NEW STATES NORTH OF THAT LINE WOULD HAVE TO BE FREE, AND ANY STATES SOUTH OF THAT LINE WOULD HAVE TO ALLOW SLAVERY.

SO WE’LL TAKE MAINE ON THE FREE SIDE -

- AND WE TAKE MISSOURI TO HAVE SLAVERY!

WAIT!

THIS BECAME KNOWN AS THE “MISSOURI COMPROMISE.”

WAIT JUST A COCKAMAMY SECOND!

MORE LIKE THE MISERY COMPROMISE!

| THOUGHT THIS STORY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THAT LINCOLN GUY!!!

AND SO IT IS! THE LINCOLNS KEPT MOVING WEST — JUST LIKE AMERICA! FROM THE WELL-SETTLED STATE OF KENTUCKY TO THE DANGEROUS WILDERNESS OF INDIANA!

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Abe's mother fell prey to ato a frontier frontier danger Abe's mother fell prey to danger Abe's mother fell prey a frontier danger only two years after the family's arrival. only two years after the family's arrival. only two years after the family's arrival. Their cows hadhad been munching Their cows had been munching Their cows been munching onwhite white snakeroot, plant on snakeroot, aaplant on white snakeroot, a plant harmless to them but turns harmless to them but turns harmless to them but turns their milk to poison! their milk to poison! their milk to poison! |'VE|'VE |'VE KILLED AGAIN! KILLED AGAIN! KILLED AGAIN! NOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOO!!

DON'T DON'T DON'T DRINK THAT! DRINK THAT! DRINK THAT! ARE YOU ARE ARE YOU YOU CRAZY?! CRAZY?! CRAZY?!

CHILL. WE'VE CHILL. WE'VE CHILL. WE'VE FIGURED OUTOUT HOWHOW FIGURED OUT HOW FIGURED TO DEAL WITH TO DEAL WITHWITH TO DEAL "MILK POISONING" "MILK POISONING" "MILK POISONING" SINCE ABE'S SINCE ABE'S SINCE ABE'S TIME.... TIME.... TIME....

WHYWHY WHY TAKE THAT TAKE THAT TAKE THAT CHANCE?! CHANCE?! CHANCE?!

Thomas went Thomas went went offThomas to find off to find off to find second wife, aasecond wife, a second wife, leaving AbeAbe leaving Abe leaving andand hissister, sister, and his his sister, Sarah, to to Sarah, to Sarah, somehow somehow somehow survive by by survive by survive themselves themselves themselves until he he until he until returned. returned. returned.

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Their newnew mom, another Their new mom, another Their mom, another Kentuckian, Sarah Bush Kentuckian, Sarah Bush Kentuckian, Sarah Bush Johnston, was shocked Johnston, was was shocked Johnston, shocked when she saw the state whenwhen she she saw saw the the state state ofher her newnew kids onher her of new kids on of her kids on her arrival in Indiana! arrival in Indiana! arrival in Indiana! MY WORD! WORD! MY MY WORD! |'VE|'VE NEVER |'VE NEVER NEVER SEEN SUCH SEEN SUCH SEEN SUCH FILTHY FILTHY FILTHY CHILDREN!! CHILDREN!! CHILDREN!!

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Sarah SarahJohnston Johnston Sarah Sarah Johnston Johnston brought books brought books Sarah Johnston brought brought books books with her from with her from brought books with with her her from from Kentucky — and Kentucky and with her from Kentucky Kentucky — ——and and Abe discovered Abe discovered Kentucky — and Abe Abe discovered discovered aalove of love ofreading reading Abe discovered aa love love of of reading reading have for he'd have forhis his ahe'd love of reading he'd he'd have have for for his his whole life. whole life. he'd have for his whole whole life. life. whole life. Among his Amonghis his Among Among his favorites were favorites were Among his favorites favorites were were his stepmother's his stepmother's favorites were his his stepmother's stepmother's Bible and her Bible andher her his stepmother's Bible Bible and and her collection of collection of Bible and her collection collection of of fables from the fables from the collection of fables fables from from the the Greek poet Aesop, Greekpoet poet Aesop, fables fromAesop, the Greek Greek poet Aesop, including: including: Greek poet Aesop, including: including: including:

Aes Aesop op(62 (620-5 0-564 64BCE BCE) )beg Aes began op op (62 anlife aaAes 0-5 0-5 lifeas sla 64 64 ve as BCE BCE but )) beg bec beg sla an an ve(62 life life but as as became ameone aaAes sla sla oneof ve ve op ofthe but but (62 themos bel bec bec 0-5 ove mostt ame ame 64 d aut BCE one hor bel )one beg of of oved authorssof an the the life the mos mos anc as ien of belove a bel ts. the sla ove ve dbut d aut anc aut ients.tt hor hor bec ss of ame ofone the theof anc anc ien ien the ts. ts.t mos beloved authors of the ancients.

Many Manyaaaatime timehe hetried triedto toattack attack Many Many time time he he tried tried to to attack attack them, whenever them,but but whenever he came Many abut time he triedhe tocame attack them, them, but whenever whenever he he came came near, turned near,they theywhenever turnedtheir their tailsto to them, but he tails came near, near, they they turned turned their their tails tails to to one so oneanother, another, sowhichever whichever way near, they turned their tailsway to one one another, another, so so whichever whichever way way he met heapproached approached themhe hewas was met one another, so them whichever way he he approached approached them them he he was was met met by the one byapproached thehorns hornsof ofthem oneof of them. he hethem. was met by by the the horns horns of of one one of of them. them. by the horns of one of them.

AALion used totoprowl about field Lionused usedto prowlabout aboutaaaafield field A ALion Lion used toOxen prowl prowl about field in which Four used totoadwell.… in which Four Oxen used dwell.… A Lion used to prowl about field in inwhich whichFour FourOxen Oxenused usedto todwell.… dwell.… in which Four Oxen used to dwell.… Then the Lion attacked them At Thenthe theLion Lionattacked attackedthem them Atlast, last,however, however,they theyfell fell Then Then the Lion attacked them At At last, last, however, however, they they fell fell one by one and soon made an a-quarreling among oneby by one and soonmade made an a-quarreling among themselves, Then the Lion attacked theman At last, however, theythemselves, fell one one by one one and and soon soon made an a-quarreling a-quarreling among among themselves, themselves, end ofofall four. and off pasture endby allfour. four. andeach eachwent went offto tothemselves, pasturealone alone one one and soon made an a-quarreling among end end of of all all four. and and each each went went off off to to pasture pasture alone alone ininaaeach separate ofofthe separate corner thefield. field. end of all four. and wentcorner off to pasture alone in inaaseparate separate corner corner of ofthe the field. field. in a separate corner of the field.

United United we we stand, stand, divided divided we we fall! fall! United we stand, divided we fall! United we stand, divided we fall!

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His favorite subject, though, His favorite subject, though, His the favorite subject, though, was American Revolution its heroes. His favorite subject, though, was American Revolution and its heroes. was the the American Revolution and itsand heroes. was the American Revolution and its heroes.

He borrowed a copy ofWeems's Parson Weems's He aaa copy He He borrowed borrowed borrowed copy copy of of of Parson Parson Parson Weems's Weems's bestseller The Life of Washington Unfortunately, bestseller The Life of Washington bestseller bestseller The The Life Life of of Washington Washington He borrowed a copy of Parson Weems's Unfortunately, Unfortunately, from a neighbor and read it cover to Unfortunately, a leaky roof from and read it cover to a leaky roof from from aaa neighbor neighbor neighbor and and read read it it cover cover to to bestseller The Life of Washington aUnfortunately, a leaky leaky roof roof cover times! several times! dripped rain cover several dripped rain cover cover several several times! times! from a neighbor and read it cover to dripped rain dripped rain a leaky roof on the book — on the book cover several times! on on the the book book dripped rain——— it! ruining ruining it! ruining it! ruining it! — on the book YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! ruining it! YUCK!

Abepull had to pull Abe Abe had had to to pull pull Abe had to corn for three corn for three cornhad fordays three corn for three Abe to pull for free days free days for forto free days for free corn three pay the to the to pay pay the to pay the days for free owner back. owner owner back. owner back. to payback. the owner back.

I REGRET III REGRET REGRET REGRET NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! INOTHING! REGRET NOTHING!

He'd read while He'd while He'd read readout while He'd read while in the fields, out the fields, out in in the fields, out in the fields, He'd read while NERD! NERD! enraging his enraging his enraging his enraging his out in the fields, NERD! father. father. father. his father. enraging father.

NERD!

He'd destroy any He'd any He'd destroy destroy any He'd destroy any books he caught books he caught books heAbe caught books he caught He'd destroy any reading while Abe while Abe reading reading while Abe reading while books hehe caught was working. he was working. he he was was working. working. Abe reading while he was working.

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When he was president, Abraham Lincoln would say When he was president, Abraham Lincoln would say When he was president, Abraham Lincoln would say When he was president, Abraham Lincoln would say he alwaysAbraham hated slavery. When When he he was was president, president, Abraham Lincoln Lincoln would would say say he always hated slavery. he always hated slavery. he always hated slavery. hehe always always hated hated slavery. slavery. Abe would plow fields, pull Abe would plow fields, pull Abe would plow fields, pull pumpkins, and split rails Abe would plow fields, pull Abe Abe would would plow plow fields, fields, pull pull Abe would plow fields, pull pumpkins, and split rails pumpkins, and split rails for fences. And he wouldn’t pumpkins, and split rails pumpkins, pumpkins, and and split split rails rails pumpkins, and split rails for fences. And he wouldn’t for fences. And he wouldn’t see a penny of the money for fences. And he wouldn’t for for fences. And And he he wouldn’t wouldn’t for fences. And he wouldn’t see afences. penny of the money see penny of the money he see aearned. penny of the money see see aearned. penny aaa penny of of the the money money see penny of the money he he earned. hehe earned. he earned. earned. he earned.

“IF SLAVERY “IF SLAVERY “IF SLAVERY IS NOT WRONG, “IF SLAVERY “IF “IF SLAVERY SLAVERY “IF SLAVERY IS NOT WRONG, IS NOT WRONG, NOTHING IS IS NOT WRONG, IS IS NOT NOT WRONG, WRONG, IS NOT WRONG, NOTHING ISIS NOTHING WRONG!” NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING ISISIS NOTHING IS WRONG!” WRONG!” WRONG!” WRONG!” WRONG!” WRONG!”

This attitude was no doubt This attitude was no doubt This attitude was no doubt helped by Thomas Lincoln, This attitude was no doubt This This attitude attitude was was no no doubt doubt This attitude was no doubt helped by Thomas Lincoln, helped by Thomas Lincoln, who would oftenLincoln, hire his son helped by Thomas Lincoln, helped helped by by Thomas Thomas Lincoln, helped by Thomas Lincoln, who would often hire his son who would often hire his son out to neighboring farmers. who would often hire his son who who would would often often hire hire his his son son who would often hire his son out to neighboring farmers. out to neighboring farmers. Any money Abe made would go out to neighboring farmers. out out to to neighboring neighboring farmers. farmers. out to neighboring farmers. Any money Abe made would go Any money Abe made would go directly into Dad's pocket. Any money Abe made would go Any Any money money Abe Abe made made would would go go Any money Abe made would go directly into Dad's pocket. directly into Dad's pocket. directly into Dad's pocket. directly directly into into Dad's Dad's pocket. pocket. directly into Dad's pocket. Obviously, Abe Obviously, Abe Obviously, Abe and his dad did Obviously, Abe Obviously, Abe Obviously, Abe Obviously, Abe and his dad did and his dad did not really get and his dad did and his dad did and his dad did and his dad did not really get not really get along. Perhaps not really get not really get not really get not really get along. Perhaps along. Perhaps he never forgave along. Perhaps along. Perhaps along. Perhaps along. Perhaps he never forgave he never forgave Thomas for he never forgave he never forgave he never forgave he never forgave Thomas for Thomas for leaving him and Thomas for Thomas for Thomas for Thomas for leaving him and leaving him and his sister alone leaving him and leaving him and leaving him and leaving him and his sister alone his sister alone in the forest. his sister alone his sister alone his sister alone his sister alone in the forest. in the forest. in the forest. in the forest. in the forest. in the forest.

And Thomas And Thomas And Thomas seemed to And Thomas And Thomas And Thomas And Thomas seemed to seemed to prefer his seemed to seemed to seemed to seemed to prefer his prefer his stepchildren prefer his prefer his prefer his prefer his stepchildren stepchildren and their stepchildren stepchildren stepchildren stepchildren and their and their mother and their and their and their and their mother mother to the kids mother mother mother mother to the kids to the kids from his to the kids to the kids to the kids to the kids from his from his first from his from his from his from his first first marriage. first first first first marriage. marriage. marriage. marriage. marriage. marriage.

Still, many of Thomas Still, many of Thomas Still, many of Thomas Lincoln's better Still, many of Thomas Still, Still, many many of of Thomas Thomas Still, many of Thomas Lincoln's better Lincoln's better qualities rubbed off Lincoln's better Lincoln's Lincoln's better better Lincoln's better qualities rubbed off qualities rubbed off on Abe. rubbed Tom never qualities rubbed off qualities qualities rubbed off off qualities rubbed off on Abe. Tom never on Abe. Tom neverand drank or smoke, on Abe. Tom never on on Abe. Abe. Tom Tom never never on Abe. Tom never drank or smoke, and drank or smoke, and neither did Abe. drank or smoke, and drank drank or or smoke, smoke, and and drank or smoke, neither did Abe. neither did Abe.and neither did Abe. neither neither did did Abe. Abe. neither did Abe.

Tom was by Tom was by Tom was by all accounts Tom was by Tom was by Tom was by Tom was by all accounts all accounts an amazing all accounts all accounts allan accounts all accounts amazing an amazing storyteller anan amazing amazing an amazing an amazing storyteller storyteller and a great storyteller storyteller storyteller storyteller and aa great and great mimic, and and and and aagreat aagreat great and great mimic, and mimic, and Abe absorbed mimic, and mimic, mimic, and and mimic, and Abe absorbed Abe absorbed those Abe absorbed Abe absorbed Abe absorbed Abe absorbed those those qualities those those those those qualities qualities from him. qualities qualities qualities qualities from him. from him. from him. from from him. him. from him.

ONCE THERE ONCE THERE ONCE THERE WAS ATHERE COLLECTOR ONCE THERE ONCE ONCE THERE ONCE THERE WAS COLLECTOR WAS A COLLECTOR WHO WAS JUST MAD WAS AA COLLECTOR WAS WAS A COLLECTOR A COLLECTOR WAS A COLLECTOR WHO WAS JUST MAD WHO WAS JUST MAD FOR OLD REVOLUWHO WAS JUST MAD WHO WHO WAS WAS JUST JUST MAD MAD WHO WAS JUST MAD FOR OLD REVOLUFOR OLD REVOLUTIONARY WAR FOR OLD REVOLUFOR FOR OLD OLD REVOLUREVOLUFOR OLD REVOLUTIONARY WAR TIONARY WAR STUFF.... TIONARY WAR TIONARY TIONARY WAR WAR TIONARY WAR STUFF.... STUFF.... STUFF.... STUFF.... STUFF.... STUFF....

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HE HEARD OF AN OLD LADY WHO STILL OWNED A DRESS SHE HAD WORN IN THE WAR. HE MADE A SPECIAL VISIT TO THIS LADY...

...AND SHE LED HIM TO A DRAWER AND BROUGHT OUT THE GOWN IN QUESTION.

NO DOUBT WHEN YOU CAME HOME FROM THE DRESSMAKER SHE KISSED YOU AS | DO NOW!

WERE YOU THE DRESS THAT THIS LADY ONCE YOUNG AND BLOOMING WORE IN THE TIME OF WASHINGTON?

THE PRACTICAL OLD LADY RATHER RESENTED SUCH FOOLISHNESS AND SAID:

STRANGER, IF YOU WANT TO KISS SOMETHING OLD, YOU HAD BETTER KISS MY BUTT.

IT'S SIXTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN THAT DRESS!

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When hewas was 21years years old, Abe When When When he he hewas 21 was 21 21years years old, old, Abe old, Abe Abe When he was 21 years old, Abe When When he was he 21 was years 21move years old, Abe old, AbeAbe When he was 21 years old, helped his family move west helped helped helped his family his his family family move move west west west helped his family move west helped helped his family his family move move west west helped his family move west again, toneighboring neighboring Illinois... again, again, again, to to toneighboring neighboring Illinois... Illinois... Illinois... again, to neighboring Illinois... again, again, to neighboring to neighboring Illinois... Illinois... again, to neighboring Illinois... ...then struck offon onhis his own, ...then ...then ...then struck struck struck off off off on onown, his his own, own, ...then struck off on his own, ...then ...then struck struck off on off on own, his own, ...then struck off on his own, arriving "like piece of arriving arriving arriving "like "like "like a aapiece aahis piece piece of of of arriving "like piece of arriving arriving "like "like a piece a piece of of arriving "like (his a(his piece of floating driftwood" (his words) floating floating floating driftwood" driftwood" driftwood" (his words) (his words) words) floating driftwood" words) floating floating driftwood" driftwood" (his words) (his words) floating driftwood" (his words) toa a avillage named New Salem. to to tovillage aavillage village named named named New New Salem. New Salem. Salem. named New Salem. toto a village tovillage a village named named New Salem. New Salem. to a village named New Salem.

Abe Abe became became something something of Abe became something ofof of became something Abe became something Abe became Abe became something something ofof of of Abe became something aacelebrity celebrity shortly shortly after after a acelebrity shortly after celebrity shortly after celebrity shortly after athe celebrity a celebrity shortly shortly after after a celebrity shortly after the the boat boat set set off off south. south. boat set off south. the boat set off south. boat set off south. the boat the boat set off set south. off south. the boat set off south.

He found ajob as a acook onon He found He He found found a ajob ajob aas job job aa as cook as acook cook on on He found as on He found He found a found job adelivering asjob ajob cook ascook acrops cook on on on He a as acrops cook aflatboat flatboat a aflatboat aaflatboat flatboat delivering delivering delivering crops crops delivering crops adown flatboat a flatboat delivering delivering crops crops athe flatboat delivering crops down Mississippi River down down the Mississippi the the Mississippi Mississippi River River River down the Mississippi River down down the Mississippi the Mississippi River River down the Mississippi River New Orleans. toto New to to New Orleans. New Orleans. Orleans. New Orleans. toto New to Orleans. New Orleans. to New Orleans.

THIS THIS ISIS THIS IS THIS ISTHIS THIS ISIS THIS THIS IS IS BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD.

Their boat got stuck Their Their boat boat got stuck got stuck Their boat got stuck Their boat got Their boat got stuck Their boat got stuck Their boat got stuck on the dam of nearby on the on dam the dam of a of nearby aastuck nearby on the dam of a nearby on the dam of a nearby on the dam of a nearby on the dam of a nearby on the dam of abegan nearby mill, and one end began mill, mill, and one and end one began end mill, and one end began mill, and one end began mill, and one end began mill, and one end began mill, and one end began filling up with water! filling filling up with up with water! water! filling up with water! filling up with water! filling up with water! filling up with water! filling up with water!

The quickThe quickThe quickThe quickThe quickThe quickThe quickThe quickthinking Lincoln thinking Lincoln thinking Lincoln thinking Lincoln thinking Lincoln thinking thinking thinking Lincoln drilled hole in drilled aaLincoln hole in drilled a ahole inLincoln drilled hole drilled a hole in drilled a hole in in drilled a in hole drilled a hole in the hanging end the hanging end the hanging end the hanging end the hanging end the hanging end the hanging the hanging end end of the boat, of the boat, of the boat, of the boat, of the boat, of the boat, of the boat, of the boat, draining the draining the draining the draining the draining the draining the draining draining the the water…. water…. water…. water…. water…. water…. water…. water….

Once hethe and the rest Once he and the rest Once he and rest Once he and the rest Once he and the rest Once he and the rest he and the rest Once he and the rest ofOnce the crew moved the of the crew moved the of the crew moved the of the crew moved the of the crew moved the of the crew moved the of the crew moved the of cargo the crew moved the cargo tofront the front of to the front of cargo to the of cargo to the front of cargo to the front of cargo to the front of cargo to front the front cargo to the of of the boat… the boat… the boat… the boat… the boat… the boat… the boat… the boat…

...he plugged the hole ...he plugged the hole ...he plugged the hole ...he plugged the hole ...he plugged the hole ...he plugged the hole ...he plugged the hole and they continued and they continued and they continued and they continued ...he plugged the hole and they continued and they continued and they continued their journey south! their journey south! their journey south! their journey south! and they continued their journey south! their journey south! their journey south! their journey south!

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Later in life, Abe invented Later in life, Abe invented aaa a Later in life, Abe invented Later in life, Abe invented Later in life, Abe invented a means to keep boats afloat means to keep boats afloat means to keep boats afloat means to keep boats afloat means to keep boats afloat even in shallow water with even in shallow water with even in shallow water with even in shallow water with even"inflatable in shallow water with— compartments" — "inflatable compartments" "inflatable "inflatable compartments" compartments" "inflatable compartments" —— — like a balloon! like aaaballoon! like like balloon! balloon! like a balloon!

He remains the US presiHe remains the only US He the only US presiHe remains the onlyonly USpresipresiHe remains remains the president ever toonly receive a governdent ever to receive aUS governdent ever to receive a governdent ever to receive a governdentment ever to for receive a governpatent for an invention! ment patent an invention! ment patent for an invention! ment patent for an invention! ment patent for an invention!

The flatboat returned The flatboat returned The flatboat returned The flatboat returned The flatboat returned to New Salem with to New Salem with to New Salem with to New Salem with to New Salem with goods to sell in the goods to sell in the goods to sell in the goods to sell in the goods to sell in the local general store, local general store, local general store, local general store, local general store, which Abe helped run. which Abe helped run. which which Abe helped run. which Abe Abe helped helped run. run.

New Orleans was a massive slave New was a massive slave NewOrleans Orleans was massive slave New Orleans was aa slave New Orleansone wasof a massive massive slave metropolis, one of main the buying metropolis, the buying metropolis, one of the mainmain buying metropolis, one of the main buying metropolis, one of the main buying and selling places for human and places for human andselling selling places for human and selling places for human and selling places for human beings in United the United States. beings in the States. beings beings in the United States. beings in in the the United United States. States.

His crew later said the sight His crew later said the sight His crew later said the sight His crew later said the sight Hishuman crew later said the sight of human beings auctioned off of beings auctioned off of human beings auctioned off of human beings auctioned off ofpublic human beings auctioned off in public upset him greatly. in upset him greatly. in in public upset him greatly. in public public upset upset him him greatly. greatly.

He notoriously was notoriously He was He was notoriously He notoriously He was was notoriously trustworthy, once walking trustworthy, once walking trustworthy, once walking trustworthy, once walking trustworthy, once three miles to walking track down three miles to track down three miles to track down three miles to track down three miles to track down a customer he had aaacustomer he had customer he had customer he had a customer he had accidentally overcharged accidentally overcharged accidentally overcharged accidentally overcharged accidentally overcharged by and six and a half cents! by six aaa half cents! by six and half by six and half cents! by six and a half cents! cents! BOY! YOU BOY! YOU BOY! YOU BOY! YOU BOY! YOU REALLY ARE REALLY ARE REALLY ARE REALLY ARE REALLY ARE HONEST, HONEST, HONEST, HONEST, HONEST, ABE! ABE! ABE! ABE! ABE!

Abe was well-suited to being a shopkeeper. Abe was well-suited to being aaashopkeeper. Abe was well-suited to being shopkeeper. Abe was well-suited to being shopkeeper. Abe Back was well-suited to being agathering shopkeeper. then it the was the main place for Back then it was main gathering place for Back then it was the main gathering place for Back then it was the main gathering place for Backtownsfolk. then it was main gathering place for He the regaled his friends for hours on townsfolk. He regaled his friends for hours on townsfolk. He regaled his friends for hours on townsfolk. He regaled his friends for hours on townsfolk. Hejokes regaled his friends for hours on end with his jokes and stories, just as Thomas end with his and stories, just as Thomas end with his jokes and stories, just as Thomas end with his jokes and stories, just as Thomas end Lincoln with hisonce jokes and stories, just as Thomas did. Lincoln once did. Lincoln once did. Lincoln Lincoln once once did. did. ONCE THERE ONCE THERE ONCE THERE ONCE THERE ONCE THERE WAS A MAN OF WAS A MAN OF WAS AA MAN OF WAS MAN OF WAS A MAN OF DARING, DARING, DARING, DARING, DARING, QUICK-WITTED, QUICK-WITTED, QUICK-WITTED, QUICK-WITTED, QUICK-WITTED, SELF-POSSESSED, SELF-POSSESSED, SELF-POSSESSED, SELF-POSSESSED, SELF-POSSESSED, AND EQUAL TO ALL AND EQUAL TO ALL AND AND EQUAL EQUAL TO TO ALL ANDOCCASIONS… EQUAL TO ALL ALL OCCASIONS… OCCASIONS… OCCASIONS… OCCASIONS… ...WHO ...WHO ...WHO ...WHO ...WHO WAS ASKED WAS ASKED WAS ASKED WAS ASKED WAS ASKED TO CARVE TO CARVE AAA A TO CARVE TO CARVE TO CARVE A FOR TURKEY TURKEY FOR TURKEY TURKEY FOR FOR TURKEY FOR A LARGE AAALARGE LARGE LARGE APARTY. LARGE PARTY. PARTY. PARTY. PARTY.

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HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

11/15/17 9:41 AM


THE MEN AND WOMEN SURROUNDED THE TABLE AND THE DARING MAN GOT DOWN TO BUSINESS...

...BUT HE EXPENDED TOO MUCH FORCE AND LET OUT A FART — A LOUD FART SO THAT ALL THE PEOPLE HEARD IT DISTINCTLY.

AS A MATTER OF COURSE IT SHOCKED ALL TERRIBLY. A DEEP SILENCE REIGNED.

IT NOW BECAME A WONDER IN THE MINDS OF ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN HOW THE FELLOW WAS TO GET OUT OF HIS DILEMMA; HE SQUARED HIMSELF AND SAID LOUDLY AND DISTINCTLY:

NOW, BY GOD, |’LL SEE IF | CAN’T CUT UP THIS TURKEY WITHOUT FARTING!

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In 1832 the wartime got first In only 1832 military the future future wartime president president got his his first and experience when he joined the fight and only military experience when he joined the fight against the Sauk chief Black Hawk. against the Sauk chief Black Hawk. | WANT MY LAND | WANT BACK, ANDMY YOULAND NAME BACK, AND YOU NAME A HOCKEY TEAM A HOCKEY TEAM AFTER ME INSTEAD. AFTER ME INSTEAD.

Abe was popular enough in town that he Abe was popular enough town that he was elected captain of in the local militia. was elected captain of the local militia.

AMERICANS AMERICANS ARE WEIRD. ARE WEIRD.

Black Hawk had crossed Black Hawk had crossed the Mississippi into the Mississippi into what was then Illinois what is was then Illinois (but now Wisconsin) (but is nowSauk Wisconsin) to reclaim lands to reclaim Sauk lands lost in a disputed lost in a disputed treaty. treaty.

He later joked he didn't see any He later joked didn't see any fighting duringhethe Black Hawk fighting during the Black Hawk War — except against mosquitoes! War — except against mosquitoes!

Once, when leading his men Once, when leading men toward a fence, he his realized toward a fence, he realized he didn't remember the he didn't to remember the command make them command to make them march through its gate. march through its gate.

UH... UH... He had to think of He had to think something quick!of something quick!

THEN FALL THEN IN ON FALL THE IN ON THE OTHER SIDE OTHER SIDE OF THE OF THE GATE! GATE!

AP_Lincoln_int_des4_cc15.indd 20

...COMPANY ...COMPANY DISMISSED! DISMISSED!

FOR TWO FOR TWO MINUTES! MINUTES!

>PHEW...< >PHEW...<

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Back Backhome, home, home, Back Abe’s Abe’sreading reading reading Abe’s time timetook took tookaaa time focus focustoward toward toward focus law. law. law.

When Whenhis his hisstore store store When failed failedin in in1834, 1834, 1834, failed he heran ran ranfor for for he Illinois Illinoisstate state state Illinois legislature, legislature, legislature, which whichmakes makes makes which laws! laws! laws!

WHO WHOSTUCK STUCK STUCK ———WHO GUN GUNIN IN INMY MY MY AAAGUN FACE! FACE! FACE! WHAT'D WHAT'D WHAT'D EVER EVERDO DO DO |||EVER TO TOYOU, YOU, YOU, TO MISTER?! MISTER?! MISTER?!

He Hetoured toured touredthe the thevast vast vastempty empty emptyprairie prairie prairie He giving givingspeeches, speeches, speeches,and, and, and,of of ofcourse, course, course, giving telling tellingjokes jokes jokes———often often oftenat at athis his hisown own own telling expense. expense. expense. WAS WASOUT OUT OUT |||WAS WORKING WORKINGONE ONE ONE WORKING DAY DAYWHEN WHEN WHENAAAMAN MAN MAN DAY CAME CAMEUPON UPON UPONME ME ME——— CAME THE THEUGLIEST UGLIEST UGLIESTMAN MAN MAN THE EVER EVERSAW SAW SAW——— |||EVER

IF IF|||EVER EVER EVER IF MET METAAAMAN MAN MAN MET UGLIER'N UGLIER'NME, ME, ME, UGLIER'N |'D |'DSHOOT SHOOT SHOOTHIM HIM HIM |'D ON ONTHE THE THESPOT! SPOT! SPOT! ON

YEARS YEARSAGO, AGO, AGO, YEARS SWORE SWOREAN AN AN |||SWORE OATH: OATH: OATH:

SO SO|||SAID SAID SAID SO TO TOHIM: HIM: HIM: TO PULL PULLTHE THE THE PULL TRIGGER, TRIGGER,THEN, THEN, THEN, TRIGGER, PLEASE, PLEASE,QUICK! QUICK! QUICK! PLEASE, IF IF|'M |'M |'MUGLIER UGLIER UGLIER IF THAN THANYOU, YOU, YOU,||| THAN DON'T DON'TWANT WANT WANTTO TO TO DON'T LIVE LIVEANOTHER ANOTHER ANOTHER LIVE SECOND! SECOND! SECOND!

Thejokes jokesthat thatworked workedin inthe the The jokes that worked in the The generalstore storeworked workedon onthe the general store worked on the general campaigntrial: trial:Abe Abewon wonhandily. handily. campaign trial: Abe won handily. campaign

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Abe moved to the state capital, Springfield, in the Abe state Springfield, ininthe center ofto the state, tocapital, begin his political career Abemoved moved tothe the state capital, Springfield, the center of the state, to begin his political career just as a major political movement center of the state, to begin his political career just movement in was starting. justas asaAmerica amajor majorpolitical political movement ininAmerica Americawas wasstarting. starting.

was a movement by free African Americans and their white allies was aa movement free African Americans their white allies to ban — by or abolish — slavery in theand United States. was movement by free African Americans and their white allies toto ban —— oror abolish slavery inin the United States. ban abolish— — slavery the United States.

ONE OF ONE OF THESE THINGS ONE OF THESE THINGS …IS NOT LIKE THESE THINGS …IS NOT LIKE THE …IS OTHER… NOT LIKE THE OTHER… THE OTHER…

Frederick Do uglass Fr81 ed8(1 er18 ic95 k ), Fr Doan ed ugug er lala ic ss ot k hess Do (181 grea r 8t 81 18 au 95 th (1 ), or an 8bo otot 18 rn 95 grgr ahesl rav ), eaea an tt auau e! thth oror bobo rnrn aa slhe avr e! e! sl av

Though Abraham Though Abraham Lincoln always Though Abraham Lincoln always hated slavery — Lincoln always hated slavery he was not an— — hated slavery he was not anan abolitionist, he was not abolitionist, and often said abolitionist, and often said so. and often said so.so.

AYE!! AYE!! AYE!! He was a He was aa — moderate He was moderate someone moderate— — someone taking someone taking neither taking neither side. neither side. side. Like many Americans, Like many Americans, Abe believed if Like many Americans, Abe believed ifif slavery weren't Abe believed slavery weren't allowed to move slavery weren't allowed to move beyond the South, allowed to move beyond the South, people would beyondthere the South, people there would tire of it and it people there would tire itit and itit would die tireofbasically of and would die of oldbasically age. would basically die ofof old oldage. age. IS SLAVERY SLAVERY ISDEAD YET? SLAVERY IS YET? DEAD YET? DEAD

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NO! NO!NO! NOT YET!! NOT YET!! SSSHH! NOT YET!! SSSHH! SSSHH!

Still, a resolution saying Still, aa resolution abolitionists weresaying bad passed Still, resolution saying abolitionists were bad the Illinois legislature by a vote abolitionists were badpassed passed the Illinois legislature byby aa vote of 77-6…and one of those no the Illinois legislature vote of 77-6…and one of those no votes was Abraham of 77-6…and one ofLincoln's. those no votes was Abraham Lincoln's. votes was Abraham Lincoln's.

To abolitionists, Abe's attitude To abolitionists, attitude was a fantasy — Abe's slavery would To abolitionists, Abe's attitude was aa fantasy —— slavery would continue to exist in America as was fantasy slavery would continue toto exist inin America asas long as America allowed it to. continue exist America long asas America allowed to.to. long America alloweditit

11/15/17 9:41 AM

Action Presidents #2: Abraham Lincoln!  

The second Action Presidents book is just as fun—and funny—as the first. Legendary lumberjack and paramount president Abraham Lincoln practi...

Action Presidents #2: Abraham Lincoln!  

The second Action Presidents book is just as fun—and funny—as the first. Legendary lumberjack and paramount president Abraham Lincoln practi...