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Sit thissen dahn an’ tell me abaht it


Ee, by gum


Tha's tekkin' piss. Beeoffweeyer!


Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all, drink all, pay nowt, and tha ever dus owt for nowt, All-us do it for thee-sen.


Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?" Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"


Wear ‘as tha-bin since ah saw thee, On Il-kley Moor bar-ta--at? Wear 'as tha-bin since ah saw thee?


A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."


By gum lad, if tha carries on wi this, al tek me bluddy belt off to thee! 
And by heck, me pants'll fall dahn!


a rate bobby dazzler


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