Bob Demers Contributing Writer
“It may be so , it may not be so....”
AUNT TILLY SAYS: Dear friend Weazel -- I think you make me sick. Bon appetit! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ DEAR AUNT TILLY: Here is something I just don’t understand. While driving to Tilbury Town recently for a much needed vacation, I had to pass through two toll booths. Going to Tilbury I had to stop to pay two tolls, but on the way home I only had to pay one. Same highway, same route. Is it that Tilbury has a deal with the highway department to get us out of there quicker? Anyways, it was a restful vaca-
tion. Thanks, Pat AUNT TILLY SAYS: Gee, Pat, you should have looked me up while you were in town. Did you get a chance to visit our famous Duck Tape and Spruce Gum museum? Our definitive collection of classical Duck Tape includes a special section on the handmade variety. Our own Hazel Jenkins has specialized in home made Rainbow DT for thirty years. She provided the special tape used to hold the nose onto the Statue of Liberty. But I digress. Back to your question. How perceptive of you to notice the toll booth thing. Did you notice that each of the two going-to-Tilbury tolls were exactly half as much as the single goinghome-from-Tilbury tolls? So what’s your beef, Pat? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ DEAR AUNT TILLY: I’ve hunted deer in the Maine woods for thirty years and I hold the State record for the number of times I’ve been shot at, mostly while hunting. But that’s not my problem. It’s those busybody Maine Fish and Game Wardens. You see, I have this thing about not upsetting wildlife in its natural habitat. When hunting, I’m very conscientious about two things. First I hope it’s open season on whatever I’m hunting and secondly, I always move slowly being very careful about spooking rabbits, foxes, deer and such. In order not to disturb deer as
I go, I wear a set of antlers and real buckskin, fur and all. This bothers the game wardens in my area and they’re always on my case about it. They want me to lose the antlers and start wearing blaze orange. But, Aunt Tilly, I’m running a business here and I’ll dress however I need to, so there! I trust your wisdom, and will take your advice whatever it is. - Furandfin, East Sidney AUNT TILLY SAYS: Dear, dear Furry -- In this life we have to learn to go with the punches - and, in your case, the gunshots. I suggest you add a bullet-proof vest to your hunting togs, otherwise I’m with you. And by the way, what the aitch kind of a business are you running in the Maine woods that requires stalking deer in antlers and buckskin? Keep on duckin’ ***************************** ****** SPECIAL NOTICE: Uncle Toot Finny, Tilbury Town municipal attorney and legal advisor to Aunt Tilly says to remind everybody that this column is under full copyright protection and that all submissions to this column become the property of a guy named Robert Demers who owns this literary masterpiece lock, stock and barrel.
late the senses of hearing, smell, touch, and perhaps even taste. “Come out and experience nature’s finest with us!” Harris urged. “If you’ve ever wondered why the leaves change color, what triggers leaf drop, how to identify trees, this is a great opportunity to get out in the woods with a park ranger and a district forester to get immersed in Maine’s most colorful season,” Gary Best, BPL interpretive specialist, said. The four hikes, which are free with park admission, will take place: · 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Sunday, Sept. 27, Aroostook State Park, Presque Isle; · 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 4, Grafton Notch State Park · 2 p.m.-2:30 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 11, Bradbury Mountain State Park · 1 p.m.-3:30 p.m., Sunday, Oct. 11, Camden Hills State Park, Camden. A special thanks goes to Poland Spring, which will provide water for all hikers and to Project Learning Tree, which has helped develop the hike program, Best
said. There has been a growing interest among people to get outdoors and enjoy fall in Maine, the park interpretive specialist said. The hike program is a unique opportunity for park visitors not only to hike in a beautiful area, but also to understand what is going on in nature during this season with explanations from the park ranger and district forester, he said. The hike program begins up north at Aroostook State Park, which also has the distinction of being Maine’s first state park, and follows the fall colors as they travel down state, Best said. The hikes are being offered under the “Take A Hike!” promotion, part of Gov. John E. Baldacci’s “Take It Outside!” initiative to encourage Maine kids and families to enjoy the outdoors for both good health and recreation. In June, the “Take A Hike!” initiative sponsored numerous hikes around the state for National Trails Day, with about 250 people taking part. “This is a continuation of that program,” Best said.
The BPL official said he expected a good turn-out for the hikes, pointing out that in general, Maine’s state parks have experienced a boost in attendance with the recent good weather. “The park attendance is big, people already are getting out,” he said. “This is an added value to their experience, and we hope lots of people will take advantage of this opportunity.” For more information about the guided fall foliage hikes, contact Gary Best, BPL interpretive specialist, at (207) 2875976. Or go to: http://take-it-outside.com/ hike.shtml For information on fall foliage in Maine, go to: http://www.mainefoliage. com For information on Maine trees, go to: http://www.state.me.us/doc/mfs/pubs/ ftm/ftm_centennial.html
Maine Parks Set Guided Foliage Hikes
Jeanne Curran Contributing Writer AUGUSTA, Maine – Warm sunny days, fresh air, colorful leaves – it must be fall in Maine, and a perfect opportunity to “Take A Hike” at a Maine state park. The Maine Bureau of Parks and Lands (BPL), under the Maine Department of Conservation, has joined with the Maine Forest Service (MFS) and Project Learning Tree to offer four guided foliage hikes at four different state parks later this month and in October. The fall hikes, the first program of its kind offered by the state parks, are all easy, family-friendly, guided tours of four of the most beautiful fall-foliage areas in the state, according to park officials. Each tour will be led by a BPL park ranger and a MFS district forester. “Seeing the fall foliage from your car is a fun thing to do, but experiencing the fall colors as you hike through one of our state parks is even better,” Will Harris, BPL director, said. “Besides using your sense of sight, these fall hikes will stimu-
Volume 3 Issue10 October 2009
I’m taking a month off to explore some old granite quarries in the area. In the meantime Tilly Totman, Tilbury’s other renown columnist, has kindly agreed to fill in with her nationally syndicated advice column. Thank you Aunt Tilly! /bob ***************************** ****** DEAR AUNT TILLY: I’m twentyfive years old and can’t seem to get a date outside of Round Pond. The local girls are ok but I feel a need to expand my social horizons by dating girls from exotic places like Chelsea and Pittston. I’m fairly good looking according to my mother, but whenever I travel, those out of town girls don’t seem to want to touch me with a ten foot pole. You can’t do much socializing at ten feet. I work long hours on the docks cutting bait for lobstermen or crewing on a shrimper, so when I get time off I have to get right to the social stuff before it’s time to fish or cut bait again. I’m really frustrated, Aunt Tilly. This whole situation stinks! - Bobbo Beemer, Round Pond AUNT TILLY SAYS: Bingo, Bobbo boy -- Your last sentence says it all. Girls who live inland away from fishing villages have not developed the strength of character required to date guys who don’t
have time to take a shower or change their clothes between fishing and Fasching (Sorry, Bobbo, you’ll have to look that one up - I’m running out of space). My advice: find time to sweeten up or take up a social activity which doesn’t involve girls - or anyone else for that matter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ DEAR AUNT TILLY: I like to hunt squirrels, porcupine, field mice, woodchuck and other roadkill like that. I also like to fish for eels, skulpin, mud puppies and jelly fish. I’m something of a gourmet cook when it somes to preparing these items for eating but my friends are always too busy to join me at dinner. What do you think, miss know-it-all? - Your friend, Weazel from Sidney
image provided by Jeanne Sager
Published on Oct 10, 2009
Jeanne Curran Contributing Writer Volume 3 Issue10 October 2009 firstname.lastname@example.org Page 19 image provided by Jeanne Sager