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paid for things like managing a group of employees, tuning up somebody’s car or selling a pair of shoes to a very demanding customer. With that in mind, here’s what I suggest. Children ought to perform certain tasks around the house simply because they are part of the family. This could include jobs such as taking care of their own rooms, picking up their toys, helping to prepare meals, washing their own clothes, and yes, even taking out the trash.

On the other hand, it’s fine to pay children for chores that demand more time and energy — contributions to the life of the household that “go beyond the call of duty.” This list might include activities like mowing the lawn, washing the car, or, in the case of a responsible teenager, baby-sitting a younger brother or sister for an entire Saturday afternoon. One final note: Helping kids learn how to give, save and spend their money is just as important as teaching them how to earn it.

WHEN DO I NEED TO JUST CHILL OUT AND WHEN DO I NEED TO DISCIPLINE?

Changing Lives Reaching the World

Q: I’m fairly new at the parenting game. Are there times when I should simply chill out and refrain from disciplining a kid who misbehaves? Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: To some extent, child discipline is just common sense and more art than science — a skill acquired gradually and almost imperceptibly. So, relax, take it one day at a time, and allow the parent-child relationship to unfold naturally. As the years go by, you’ll perfect your skills in a very normal and intuitive way. In the meantime, the only kind of behavior that merits disciplinary action is willful disobedience. Otherwise, there are some rather obvious situations where traditional disciplinary action is not appropriate: • Normal exploratory behavior in infants and toddlers. Little ones need the freedom to discover their environment without getting their hands slapped. Childproof your home by keeping fragile items out of their reach. • Toilet training. This can’t be rushed. A harsh response to failure only creates confusion, anxiety and frustration for the child. • Bed-wetting. This physiological event is usually not under conscious control, and rarely (if ever) responds to rewards or punishment. • Accidents. Again, if the behavior wasn’t willful or intentional, it doesn’t call for discipline. But it’s fair and appropriate to require an older child to help clean up or repair, especially if carelessness was involved.

www.gulfcoastfamily.org

Starkey Road Baptist Church 8800 Starkey Road * Seminole, FL 33777 $$ (727)397-1654 $$ $$ $www.SRBC.org $ $

$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $ $ $ $ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ $$$$some $ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $ $$ $$$$$Save $ $ $ $$$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $$$$ $$$ $$$ • Less-than-perfect report cards. If a $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ child’s school performance is falling $ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $ short of his or her capability, more self- $ $$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ discipline may be the answer. But kids $ $$$$ $$$ shouldn’t be punished for not having$$ $ $ $ $ straight A’s. Go with $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ • Performance in sports. If the child $$ $ $ $ chooses to engage in sports and cares $$$$ deeply about succeeding, parental sup• Irritability and negativity specifically related to illness or extreme fatigue. Extend grace for grumpiness when your child simply doesn’t feel well, is “hangry” or tired.

port and encouragement is extremely important. But they shouldn’t be forced to play against their will or beyond their skill level.

If you’d like to discuss this subject with our staff counselors, call 1-855-771-HELP (4357). Jim Daly is president of Focus on the Family, host of the Focus on the Family radio program, and a husband and father of two.

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Profile for Gulf Coast Family

Gulf Coast Family - May 2019  

Gulf Coast Family's primary purpose is to encourage families along the Gulf Coast by providing worthwhile information that deals with family...

Gulf Coast Family - May 2019  

Gulf Coast Family's primary purpose is to encourage families along the Gulf Coast by providing worthwhile information that deals with family...