Let’s Make a Deal – Not! by Tim Rhine Let’s face it, if you are a parent you’ve been there. Where you ask? Well, almost anywhere! The checkout at the grocery store, in the mall, at church, even the family reunion. Then it happens — your child plops down on the floor and throws a fit, crying, screaming, and thrashing
about. Now you remember! Sends a chill down your spine doesn’t it? At some point all of us have found ourselves taking a page out of Monty Hall’s “Let’s Make A Deal.” Do you remember the TV game show? There was Monty Hall and all those crazily dressed contestants. Monty would up the ante for what was behind curtain #2; the one Carol Merrill was standing in front of. Would it be a Hawaiian vacation or a cow dressed in a Hawaiian shirt with a lei around its neck? This made for great TV, but a guide to parenting?
Drop the crazily dressed people and add a crying child or a teenager with an attitude; replace Monty Hall with a stressed out parent, and there you have it — your own version of “Let’s Make a Deal.” You try to bargain, barter, and Mr. Rhine is the Elementary Principal at Indian Rocks Christian School. Mrs. Rhine even bribe your child into doing what teaches High School English at IRCS. you want them to do. Unfortunately
it seems to work, but does it? Has the child responded for the right reason or just to get the “deal” you made? Cooperation is not something that is grown simply by adding water or reading a book on the subject. It is a learned behavior. The foundation to cooperative behavior is courtesy. Sadly it seems that we spend more time complaining about the lack of courtesy than we do teaching it to our children. Courtesy does not just happen. Here are some important skills: • Greeting others • Holding a door for others • Saying please and thank you • Compliments, giving and receiving • Offering to help someone with a job or chore • Listening intently • Sharing • Permitting someone to go ahead of you
These are just a few courtesy skills. Look for opportunities to teach these skills. When you hold the door for your child to go first, insist that they say “thank you.” When the neighbor greets them do not let them wave and run off. Have them return the greeting, “Hello, Mrs. Smith.” Teach them to celebrate their sibling’s accomplishments. Help your child to learn to recognize opportunities to help others. At the end of the day ask them who they helped that day. Now is the time to celebrate and show them your appreciation. Remember, courtesy does not just happen! Model it, teach it and insist on it – no more, “Let’s Make A Deal.”
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