Parent to Parent
source, and it exists in a few variations, but the premise is that prospective parents should complete a series of tests or exercises to determine whether they are cut out for parenthood. Here are a few of the best:
Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
This might be my favorite! Since my oldest was about three years old, I have not taken a child to a store (any store—not just grocery stores) without saying at least half a dozen times, “Put that back.” This is followed closely by the more precise, but very necessary, “Put that back and then come here with your hands and arms empty.” And still, I regularly end up buying things I did not intend to because someone snuck them into the cart or onto the conveyor.
Yep—while you’re at it, also add a little nacho cheese and the tomato sauce from a Chef Boyardee can! Thankfully, I have no personal experience with the fish stick, but I can definitely see that happening!
Parenting magazines often have advice for prospective parents to help them determine whether or not they are ready to have children. I always wonder how useful those articles are, since most people don’t really read parenting magazines until they are already parents. Typical indicators of readiness might include things like financial security, emotional stability, etc. But more accurate indicators can be found in an Internet article that’s been floating around for a while. I don’t know the original
Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold and take off your shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a sleeping child. Actually, my little brothers were worse offenders with the Legos than my kids are. My kids’ weapon of choice is puddles of water on the tile or wood floors that will make your feet slide right out from under you. The puddles could result from a dripping wet child getting out of the shower or pool, an ice cube that fell out of the freezer and got left to melt in the middle of the floor, or just a cup of water dumped on the floor—they’re not picky! Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop.
But like the vast majority of mothers out there, I wouldn’t trade motherhood for anything in the world. I want to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all of our readers—stay safe around those toys, and remember that one day, we may actually feel a little lonely going to the grocery store without any little ones to throw extra juice boxes and chips and candy bars into our carts.
Until next time,
Bay Pines Lutheran Church and School
VPK – 8th Grade Christ-Centered Values Student Academic Achievement Low Teacher to Student Ratios Close Parental Communication 1:1 Technology Program
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May 2017 • 7
Published on May 1, 2017
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