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Mack and the Beef Stick By: Blake Schmidt and Noah Skinner

Once upon a time there was a young boy named Mack who lived alone with his poor mother. They had nothing to their name, but a reliable goat, who was there only source of money.

Everyday Mack would go down to the market and sell his goat milk to the merchants. One day Mack woke up and the goat would not produce any milk, so his mom told him to try to sell it for a good profit.

Mack was running to the market as fast as he could when an old women asked where he was going. He told her that he was going to sell his goat but she said not so fast. She said she would give him 3 magical colorful beans in return for his reliable goat. Mack decided to take the deal because he was very curious about what the beans could grow.

He arrived home and his mom asked him for the money that he got from the goat. Mack told his mother that he got something better, three magical beans! She was madder than a hornet and threw the seeds as far as she could out the window. She sent Mack up to his room without dinner and told him to go to bed.

All night Mack had these horrible dreams of the seeds growing nothing and wasting his mother’s goat. Although, when he woke up he saw the most magical of things a giant hole was in the ground with a long thick beef stick in the center of it.

He walked up to the hole and saw that it went down hundreds of feet. Being curious as he always was he slid down the pole to see where it would lead. When arriving down at the bottom of the dirt ground Mack found a mansion.

Mack had not eaten the night before and he was starving. He knocked on the mansion door and found a nice looking old lady and begged her for food. The women was hesitant to give him food, but after a lot of begging she finally gave him what he desired.

All the sudden, right after he finished his meal a furious dwarf with a pitchfork came running toward Mack trying to capture him. He got to the door and said “Hee Hi Ho Hum, I smell the blood of English child, Be he dead or be he alive I’ll shred his bones to make my bread.”

The dwarfs wife hid Mack under her bed to protect him from the dwarf. Mack heard some change jingling together in a bag the dwarf was carrying and he knew this was the perfect solution to earning his mom some money.

Luckily for Mack the dwarf slept soundly and he was able to grab the bag of money and escape before the dwarf woke up. He ran to the beefstick and climbed up it as fast as he possibly could. After arriving back at his house, Mack looked in the bag and found out it was gold. Mack knew he had to go back down the beefstick for more riches.

Mack quickly went back to the magical land and found a golden egg that a chicken had laid by the dwarfs house. With the help of the dwarf’s wife he escaped up the beef stick with ease.

The next time down the beefstick Mack found a magical set of drums that could play all by their self. This time though the dwarf was lurking and was ready to capture Mack. He said “Hee Hi Ho Hum, I smell the blood of English child, be he dead or be he alive I’ll shred his bones to make my bread.”

After grabbing the magical drums Mack ran as fast as a cheetah to escape the small, but ferocious dwarf. He climbed up the beef stick as fast as he could, but the dwarf was right behind him.

He climbed faster and faster and finally made it up the beef stick, racing to his house for his mothers help. He told his mom the situation and she quickly gave him a giant pair of pliers. Mack ran back to the beef stick and cut it down right before the dwarf reached the top.

Mack could no longer go up the beef stick, but he was safe and sound as well as loaded with the riches he had managed to take. Mack and his mother lived happily ever after, while the cruel dwarf suffered.

The End

Mack and the Beef Stick  

Parody of Jack and the Beanstalk