where age is an attitude...
MATTERS magazine GREY IS THE NEW BLONDE FORGIVE & FORGET
LOL THE MAGIC OF LAUGHTER
The hat genius of
tips to overcome a DRY SPELL in your marriage
TRENDS | LIFE | MONEY | TRAVEL | LOCAL | HOME
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contents If you ask Cindy Joseph what makes a woman beautiful, she will tell you that itâ€™s not dewy or wrinkle free skin, but how much joy she takes into her life.
42 F E AT U R E S 34.....Get a Life Coach
The new tool for the new millennium
38.....The Sandwich Generation Squeezed between aging parents and kids
42.....The New Face of Beauty Grey is the new blonde
The magic of laughter
52.....Family Harmony Focus on the positive
55.....Overcome a Dryspell
8 tips to help your marriage
58.....Forgive & Forget
Youâ€™ve been wronged?
004 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
From the Publisher.................. 8 AskDoris............................. 11
GREY MATTERS PUBLISHING 7548 Estrella Circle Boca Raton, FL 33433 561-450-9310 www.greymattersmagazine.net
STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS
PUBLISHER Barry Rothberg ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Sherri Rothberg
Trend Matters The Genius Hatter.................... 12 Southwestern Jewelry............... 16 Life Matters Have A Heart............................ 19 3 Things That Age Us................ 20 Did You Know That................... 23 Struggling With Weight............. 24 Sweet Choice............................ 26 Money Matters Using Crowd Psychology........... 28 Retirement Planning.................. 30
EDITORIAL CONSULTANT Diane Feen CREATIVE DIRECTOR Harriet Kalil COPY EDITOR Sue Gerding PRINT PRODUCTION MANAGER Suzin Koehler
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Diane Feen, B.R. Grey, Shoshana, Susan Dworkin, Susannah Pask, Dr. E.C. Gordon CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Mircea Ciuca
Home Matters Beach Condo............................ 62 Your Next Great Book............... 66 My Mother’s Recipe.................. 69 Local Matters Hot Spots.................................. 71 *CineBowl & Grille................... 72 *Burt & Max’s........................... 73 *Vic & Angelo’s......................... 74 *The Office............................... 75 *50 Ocean................................ 76 *Everything But Water.............. 77 *The Book of Law..................... 78 *Game of Sticks........................ 78
SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGERS Kat Kadian-Baumeyer, Tyler Cromwell, Karrie Hodgeman, Jeff Klein, Joyce Paz, Larry Zahra OUR MISSION: Grey Matters Magazine’s mission is to enhance the lifestyle of our readers by providing relevant content to the intelligent and sophisticated over 40, upscale segment of the population in South Florida
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Grey Matters Magazine is a publication of Grey Matters Publications. The publisher assumes no liability for the contents and claims of any advertisers or for any comments or claims made by those interviewed for any articles. Any opinions expressed are those of the person making the statements and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher. Certain elements of Grey Matters Magazine will contain material submitted by outside sources. Grey Matters Publications accepts no responsibility for the content, accuracy, and conformity to applicable laws of such material. © 2013 Grey Matters Publishing
publisher from the
Dear Readers, WE GET IT! We get that our readers sharing Grey Matters Magazine with their family and friends have been doing so for a reason. If you’re reading this, then we already get that yous i live the lifestyle or you are an advertiser who wants to reach these people. You have options in life and enjoy the very best.
Letters to the
publisher Dear Mr Rothberg, I just wanted to express my pleasure in seeing and reading your delightful magazine, Grey Matters. The first thing that caught my eye was the name (catchy and enticed me to read on). Best of luck in your endeavors and keep sending in interesting material. It is about time someone paid attention to a group that loves to read and also look at life through our perspective. Looking forward to your future editions. Sincerely. Arlene Sigelwaks ACSW,CSW Delray Beach, Florida
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WE KNOW IT! We know luxury. We know restaurants, We know travel, We know what really matters to you and addresssues that make a difference in your life. We tell it like it is. WE LOVE IT! Sherri and I just love that we get to do this for a living. We’re a strong team that will never settle for anything but the very best. We have a very effective method of reaching our demographics—those who stay at luxury resorts, dine at luxury restaurants and travel to exotic places. (If you own a business, and want to attract these readers you should be in our pages.) Grey Matters Magazine will continue to deliver content that really matters. We strive to earn the trust of our readers and advertisers - and will continue doing so. WE SHARE IT! In this issue, we share our cover story of Cindy Joseph, who was plucked off the streets of New York at 49 years old to become the new face of beauty not because of her cleavage or pedigree, but because of her authenticity and bravado. Read her inspiring story and learn her secrets of how to get her natural beauty with her new simplified make-up line, called BOOM! We ask that you contemplate the important relationships in life—marriage, friendship, and families in the articles; Forgive & Forget and Family Harmony. LOL and the Magic of Love, will show you how laughter can strengthen your immune system and improve your overall health. We hope these stories inspire you to take a moment to appreciate the ones you love. Thank you for letting us into your lives.
Barry & Sherri
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Doris She knows
Everything A COLUMN BY DORIS GROSS —EVERYONE’S MOTHER
Dear Doris, My BFF (Best Friend Forever) married a man I never liked. Seventeen years later she admitted to me that she is not only unhappy, but has been having an affair for the past five years with a married man from her office. Recently she informed me she was using me as her alibi to be with this man. I told her I would not be a party to this mess. I have not heard from her since. Am I a bad friend? —Missing My Friend
A Q A
Dear Missing, It is your cheating friend who has crossed the line, not you. Being her confidante is one thing, being a beard is another. If she gave up your friendship it should help you write an end to the relationship. Dear Doris, I am an attractive, kind, forty-six year old woman who has been dating one loser after another. For once, I would like to meet a man with no bad habits. —Lois Dear Lois, So would I!!!!!
Got a question? Ask Doris: email@example.com
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The mad caps of genius hatter Philip Treacy 012 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
hilip Treacy is the star of the headwear world. He may have started out as a British Milliner but he is now public property, making headlines across country lines. Born in Galway, Ireland, he started out making clothes for his sister’s dolls, but ended up studying fashion at the National College of Art & Design, Dublin, Ireland. Treacy attended England’s Royal College of Art and became the first millinery student in its history. He won the
British Accessory Designer of the Year award five times and has worked with Chanel, Versace, Valentino, Armani, Donna Karan, Ralph Lauren, Alexander McQueen, Givenchy and other top designers. Treacy’s first solo show in New York City was a rare spectacle (it started at 11 p.m., and I was in the audience). The hats were expressive and out of this world, but not many of us knew who Treacy was at the time. In 2000 he was invited to show his Orchid collection during t $797 Couture Fashion Week in Paris— the first ever Paris Haute Couture show devoted to hats. In 2007 he was awarded an OBE by Her Majesty the Queen in recognition of his services to the British Fashion industry. WWW.GREYMATTERSMAGAZINE.NET | 013
Treacy’s hats are not only the subject of books, magazine articles and TV shows, but his prolific career has been described as, “a high-wire act of bravado and brilliance.” His multi-level spiral headpiece was worn by Sarah Jessica Parker to the opening of the Sex And The City movie premiere and his satin bow hat worn by Princess Beatrice to the Royal wedding was scandalous and ingenious. Treacy continues to make headlines (and hats) for celebrities such as Grace Jones, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lady Gaga, Kim Cattrall, The Duchess of Cornwall and many of the guests at Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding. The Duchess of Cornwall had this to say about Treacy: “Philip Treacy hats are works of art—he is a true millinery genius.” The late Gianni Versace was also a fan. “Give Philip a needle and thread and he writes a poem, give Philip a feather and he writes a song.” We couldn’t agree more. —Diane Feen $888 u 014 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
The Southwestern look, with bold, chunky silvers and turquoise, started appearing in late 2012. Turquoise is becoming especially popular in all types of jewelry, from necklaces to earrings and bracelets.
t Turquoise Blue Stone Necklace, etsy.com $26
Apple Coral u Flower Earrings, Crow’s Nest $530
q Turquoise Leathe Wrap Bracelet, etsy.com $72.95
t Turquoise Grande Ring, Crow’s Nest $295 Turquoise u Treasure Earrings, Crow’s Nest $195
t Western Bridle Watch, Crow’s Nest $250 t Bronze Eagle Cuff, Crow’s Nest $425
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HAVE A HEART – OR GET A NEW ONE Delray Medical Center Opens a Heart Valve Clinic
While everyone is cheering medical advances for longevity, there are certain realities that come with this extension of life. That is the very reason that the Delray Medical Center opened The Valve Clinic. It was Dr. Richard Cartledge who realized that the community needed access to stateof-the-art technological advancements in valve repair and replacement. The Valve Clinic at Delray Medical Center is an expansion of their cardiac services and specialties. Their advanced treatment options are for people diagnosed with heart valve disease, a condition that affects the blood flow to the heart and body. Dr. Cartledge sees more patients needing this treatment now than ever before because everyone is living longer. “My average patient is 81-years-old. When I see patients who are 70, they seem like babies,” said Dr. Cartledge. What can The Valve Clinic do for you? They will evaluate and treat complex heart valve disorders with a multi-disciplinary approach. The interventional cardiologists and cardiovascular surgeons work together to determine the best treatment for each patient, whether it be traditional surgery or less invasive techniques. If necessary, valves may be replaced with bioprosthetic valves (tissue valves) or prosthetic valves (mechanical valves). “Traditional diagnostic testing involves multiple visits and tests that take days. The Valve Clinic coordinates all patient diagnostic testing in one day,” said CNO Jennifer Chiusano. “This gives patients the ability to get their healthcare concerns answered quicker and allows the Valve Clinic’s board-certified physicians to deliver the best treatment options for each patient more efficiently and accurately.”
As a leader in heart healthcare, Dr. Cartledge performs this minimally invasive valve surgery by making a small 2 ½ inch incision without opening the chest cavity. This gives access to the diseased valve quicker, and it reduces blood loss, trauma, length of hospital stay and recovery time than standard valve replacement. “Patients go home in three days and are back to work in two weeks,” adds Cartledge. Dr. Cartledge, the Medical Director of the Valve Clinic, is a cardiothoracic surgeon and an innovator in the treatment of heart disease. He invented the Syntheon Trans Catheter Valve Replacement that will be ready for distribution (and use) in 2015. In addition to being a surgeon, Dr. Cartledge is an engineer who creates many of his own prototypes for his medical inventions. He has a B.S. in mechanical engineering from Lehigh University and a MD degree from the Medical College of Pennsylvania. In addition, Dr. Cartledge served on the staffs of the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and New York Presbyterian Hospital-Weill Medical College of Cornell University.
Dr. Richard Cartledge & CNO Jennifer Chiusano Some people call him a genius; others remark that he is like a plastic surgeon for the heart. Delray Medical Center is at 5352 Linton Blvd., Delray Beach, 33484. For more information, call 561-498-4440 or visit www.delraymedicalctr.com.
BY SHERRI ROTHBERG
In 1976, at the age of 53, my dad was told he needed an aortic valve replacement. The reason he needed the valve replacement was because he had rheumatic fever as a child and, unbeknown to anyone, it damaged his aortic valve. Open-heart surgery was a relatively new procedure and it carried with it great risk. To me it seemed like science fiction— they sawed open his chest, stopped his heart and then attached an artificial valve to keep his heart pumping while repairing the valve. Our family was told the surgery should be performed by renowned Texas heart surgeon, Michael DeBakey. Instead, we chose the founder of Texas Heart Hospital, Dr. Denton Cooley. He was a younger cardiologist (who had worked with Dr. DeBakey) and had performed the first artificial heart transplant. He could also perform the surgery in half the time—eight hours. To me it seemed like a life time. As I sat in the waiting room, I had no idea of what was going on in the operating room on the other side of the wall. My family was warned that when my father returned to the recovery room he might look scary. They were right—there were machines, IV tubes and hook-ups attached to my dad. But to me it was a relief because he was breathing. Dad came home two weeks later and when I lay my head on his chest, I could hear the clicking of his new mechanical valve. It took months of recovery, but I had my dad back. Unfortunately, a year later complications arose and I lost him. So, why I am writing about my dad’s open heart surgery? The reason is to warn everyone to go to the doctor and get checked out if they suspect heart disease. It’s also important to have an annual stress test and make sure your loved ones go to a clinic like The Valve Clinic at Delray Medical Center. It is places like this that care about your heart, its one business where your health is their business. Having firsthand knowledge of the mechanics of the aortic valve replacement procedure, I was fortunate to be able to meet and interview Dr. Richard Cartledge, and his team at Delray Medical Center’s new Valve Clinic. It’s good to be prepared—and to stay healthy and safe for those who love you.
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things that age us Most of us know the big things that age us. Here are some suprising things that can SPEED UP YOUR CLOCK.
TOO LITTLE SEX
Studies show that making love reduces blood pressure, which lowers the risk of stroke and cardiovascular disease. It also reduces stress, it helps you sleep better, which impacts weight, immune function and even diabetes. How often should we be having sex? Generally about twice a week. Now there’s a prescription!
SUCKING ON A STRAW
Research shows that using a straw can contribute to wrinkles around the mouth, like sucking on a cigarette, leads to those aging smokers lines.
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SLEEPING ON YOUR FACE
Your pillow is aging you. Sleeping on your face, every night, is one of the major causes of wrinkles leading to “sleep lines” that become etched on your face.
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did you know that… …the average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
…the roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
…laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
…the pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
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struggling with weight? Here are seven facts that may be affecting your weight. q It takes approximately 20 minutes for your brain to know that your stomach is full.
t One out of every three children born today will develop diabetes at some point in the future if dietary trends continue as they are today.
p One can of soda contains 10 teaspoons of sugar.
u In the U.S., the average adult drinks about 500 cans of soda a year.
p Over 300,000 deaths per year are caused by poor nutrition and a lack of physical activity.
t In the United States, obesity is second only to smoking as a cause of death. 024 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
t Over the past 30 years, the number of overweight children has doubled and the number of overweight teenagers has tripled.
Fruits are not only delicious but healthful too. Rich in vitamins A and C, plus folate and other essential nutrients, they may help prevent heart disease and stroke, control blood pressure and cholesterol, prevent some types of cancer and guard against vision loss. The USDA recommends that adults consume 1 to 2 cups of fruit each day. Skin Nourishment DRIED CRANBERRIES
Clear Skin APRICOTS
Filled with vitamin C, dried cranberries nourish your skin from within.
Snack on high-fiber apricots to fight skin breakouts.
Good Bone Health RAISINS
Mild Laxative PRUNES
Raisins are not only a high fiber snack, they are also a prime source of boron which helps reduce bone loss in postmenopausal women.
Prunes are a source of the mineral boron, which may help prevent osteoporosis. Prunes also impart a mild laxative effect due to their high content of a natural sugar called sorbitol.
Papaya is a good source of antioxidant vitamin C, E and carotenoids. These nutrients help protect your skin against free radicals known to cause damage that leads to wrinkles and other visible signs of aging.
Improved Sleep DRIED CHERRIES
Glowing Skin BANANA
Bone Strength PINEAPPLE Pineapple is one of the best tropical fruits you can eat to help keep your
With 422 milligrams of potassium per banana, these sweet delights have more
bones and connective tissues healthy and strong. Pineapple is also a natural diuretic which helps clear mucous
Extra Energy DATES
potassium than most fruit and may help lower blood-pressure levels.
from bronchial tissues, and its fiber aids in elimination.
Dates are rich in dietary fiber, vitamin A and Iron. They release their sugars slowly which keeps your energy levels up.
Unclogged Pores MANGOES
Relieves Constipation PLUMBS
Increased Iron FIGS
Mangoes keep your skin soft and glowing, Mango pulp applied to the skin for at least 10 minutes (before washing it off)
Health benefiting compounds present in plumbs, such as dietary fiber, sorbitol, and isatin help regulate the digestive
High in fiber, figs may help reduce the risk of heart disease.
will relieve the clogged pores, thus reducing acne.
system and thereby relieve constipation conditions.
Melatonin is found in cherries. A handful will help promote better sleep.
026 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
ine P Figs
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using crowd psychology How the “Ninth Wonder of the World” effects our financial decisions.
he “Seven Wonders of the World” is well known to most high school students. There are however, other wonders of the world—just not made of marble or granite. J.P. Morgan is credited with saying that the eighth wonder is Compound Interest. I would like to offer for consideration a ninth, that of Crowd Psychology. People behave differently in a group than when acting alone. Everyone thinks they are always rational and logical in their decisions, especially concerning their financial affairs. However, like a minnow in a school of hundreds, when a person gets affected by group action they make decisions and change direction with the group. Birds flock together, usually to the pleasure of a hunter picking out his dinner. This kind of behavior also applies in the financial markets where daily concentration is so focused. One might even say that when one joins a group,
028 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
the average intelligence level goes down, especially as it applies to the markets. Professor Benjamin Graham, author of the classic textbook Security Analysis, which is still used as one of the authoritative texts for analyzing corporate stock prices at many business universities throughout the United States, comments in the preface: “Investing in the stock market is like being in business with a manicdepressive, who one day offers to buy your shares of the company for a price ridiculously above its actual worth and then the next offers to sell you his shares of the business for a price ridiculously below its actual worth.” Experts on finance know, but cannot readily explain the behavior of the crowd or the rationality of crowd psychology, the reason being that crowds’ actions are based on emotions and attitudes neither of which is based on reason. This is why politicians and
dictators easily gain their support. Most speculators and investors, which include large funds, view their financial decisions in much the same way and in doing so push both securities and commodities to unrealistic extremes that are completely unwarranted when considering their individual fundamental landscape. Currently we are seeing this in the valuation of the equity markets, the 30 year Treasury Bonds and the U.S. dollar. In a “Bullish Market” hope turns to greed in a buying mania then an equilibrium point is reached, and then collapse in fear, turning into a selling panic. The reverse is true in a “Bearish Market.” It never ever changes! To do the opposite of what the masses want can be scary but very smart and financially very rewarding if handled correctly.—Anthony Beryl, President, Beryl Investment Group
TIME IS EVERYTHING
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retirement planning The recession has changed the way we retire. Are you prepared today for the days ahead?
eople in their 40s—and younger—have time to retool their plan, but Baby Boomers need to think with more urgency,” says Philip Rousseaux, founder and president of Everest Wealth Management, Inc.” “A lot of boomers had all of their retirement investments in the stock market and, if they didn’t lose their principal, it will take time for them to recoup their gains. Others moved their money to short-term savings, like CDs. But with interest rates so low, they’re actually losing money when you factor in inflation.” Those are the two most common mistakes people make in retirement planning—having everything in either stocks or short-term savings is a bad idea. “Space your investments so they’ll come due as they’re needed,” says Rousseaux. “Plan some that can be available in the short term, for emergencies, and others that will be available as you age.” Only 14 percent of Americans are very confident they’ll have the money to live comfortably in retirement, according to a 2012 survey by the Employee Benefit Research Institute. 030 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
THREE TIPS FOR BABY BOOMERS DON’T TAKE RISKS YOU CAN’T AFFORD. This is another common mistake. “Don’t put the bulk of your assets into anything that makes your principal vulnerable. Gambling that you’re going to win big on the market, or any other investment, means you also risk losing big.” A portion of your investment should have a guaranteed return.
SEEK ANY GUIDANCE FROM INDEPENDENT FINANCIAL ADVISORS.
This has two benefits: Advisors who aren’t marketing their own products have no conflicts of interest. “You wouldn’t go to a commissioned salesman for advice on buying a high-tech product. Instead, you’d probably turn to a trusted friend or an independent expert source, like Consumer Reports. Take the same care with something as important as your retirement.” The second benefit is that independent advisors can devise creative, innovative solutions to meet the needs of individual clients. Those working for companies like MetLife are not free to think outside the box. And that’s especially important In this new, post-recession economy.
CONSIDER ALTERNATIVES TO THE STOCK MARKET. One of the effects of the recession is that the public realizes Wall Street is not a safe retirement plan. Even if it can get you there, it’s not necessarily going to keep you there.“There are a number of great, safer alternatives,” Rousseaux says. One of those is fixed, indexed annuities. “You loan an insurance company money and it guarantees you payments over a specified length of time. It’s a contract between you and the company,” he explains. Fixed-rate indexed annuities have a minimum and maximum interest payment that’s linked to a common index, such as the Dow. When the Dow goes up or down, so does the interest rate, but it never goes below the guaranteed minimum or above the guaranteed maximum. “Your principal is safe and you can ride an upmarket without the risk,” he says.
With pension plans a luxury of the past and Social Security not a guarantee for the future, Rousseaux says whatever your age, it’s important to start planning now for retirement by creating your own private pension. “The good news is, our life expectancy grows every year,” he notes. “It’s up to you to ensure that you have a great quality of life when you decide you no longer want to work.”— Philip Rousseaux, President, Everest Wealth Management
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ometimes in life we just need someone to lean on. Sure it’s great to have friends and confidants, but when life whirls by us at the speed of light we often need a third opinion. Luckily there are a whole cadre of professionals— known as Life Coaches and Success Coaches—trained in sorting through our lives and sewing them back together to make a better looking (and feeling) quilt. “Coaching explores the big questions: Who am I?, What do I want?, and Why I am here? Coaching is all about seeking the truth beneath the surface, beneath appearances, beneath our actions and even beneath the words themselves,” said Minx Boren, a Master Certified Coach, author and woman’s group facilitator. According to Boren, working with a life coach is an opportunity for people to explore what matters most to them and see if it is showing up in their life. For example if you’re a free spirit but find yourself chained to a desk from nine-to-five, you might want to explore what is keeping you stuck. Often times it is difficult to change our patterns or get out of a rut. But like our computers or automobiles, sometimes we need a tune-up from an outside source. That is the main reason that people have been turning to life coaches (or success coaches) for the past two decades. They are smart, intuitive, goal oriented, have executive business experience and often have professional training from the International Coach Federation.
If the goal of coaching is to help people become happier, healthier and more successful, then you might ask, “What is the difference between a life coach and a therapist?” The difference is quite stark in contrast. “Coaching begins where therapy ends. Therapy is usually motivated by a crisis and the need to process emotions. When you come to a point of healing and completion, then you are ready for a coach. Coaching is action and goal oriented,” said Boren, who calls herself a Chief Encouragement Officer (CEO). Coach Laura Berman Fortgang also sees a big difference between a psychotherapist and a life coach. “A therapist helps you look at the past to explain why you are the way you are today. A coach takes you from today and helps you get to the future you want to create. It also helps people see what is right about their lives, rather than focusing on what is wrong,” said the founder of InterCoach, Inc./Now What?® Coaching. Often times we need a life coach when our lives are dramatically changed by illness or divorce. Sometimes what we think is a disaster is really a motivating factor to discover a part of ourselves we never knew existed. “I have worked with people who have gone through cancer (or a major life challenge) and they want to pick up the pieces and create a new life. They also might be transitioning out of a career after 30 years and want to know what’s next,”
LIFE Coach BY DIANE FEEN
034 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
adds Boren, who is certified in a coaching discipline known as Too Young to Retire. Aging boomers are not going quietly into the night as our parents or grandparents did at the age of 65. That is why many boomers are seeking life coaches to help them re-enter the job market or create a new career. “Too Young to Retire is about re-wiring as you get older and finding the next career or avocation. This allows people to stay active and passionately involved throughout their life,” said Boren.
That’s what motivated one man to reach out to Susan Klein, founder of Success Technologies, Inc. “I had a client who had to leave a full time job at a university because of health problems. He still wanted to do something meaningful and had a love of music and songwriting. After working with me he ended up teaching music at a Life Long Learning Center at a university. He felt fantastic and his life began to feel meaningful again,” said Klein, who has been coaching for 22 years and was a founder of the International Coach Federation. Bryan Durocher of Durocher Enterprises is very succinct in his assessment of coaching. “A coach is a resource person that believes in you and your vision, and guides you to use your strengths, talents and assets. A coach is also a partner in the achievement of your professional and personal goals.” In layman’s terms a coach is someone who guides you to your highest potential, yet also holds you accountable. They also help people get focused, stay on task, keep motivated and make sure they are meeting their personal and professional goals. In a way, a life coach is the perfect parent you never had, the perfect friend you fantasize about, and the perfect boss who only wants what is best for you. If it sounds rather utopian, it is. F
Having a coach is the new tool for the new millennium
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H G C E I N W E D R N A A BY SHOSHANA
Squeezed In Between Aging Parents And Growing Teens Caring for young children is stressful. Caring for elderly parents is stressful. Combine the two, and you’re part of the “sandwich generation.” And you could run yourself ragged if you’re not careful!
any families today find themselves part of what is called the “sandwich generation,” squeezed between the demands of raising their own families and caring for their aging parents. An estimated 10 million Americans are in this position, which creates problems juggling responsibilities, providing financial needs and lending a helping hand, and also challenges their marriages, friendships and health. Feeling squeezed in the middle of two generations, baby boomers are struggling under the enormous stress of being members of the “sandwich generation.” This occurrence is being felt by men, as well as women, who are in their 50s and beyond. Two phenomena in particular contribute to this dilemma: couples waiting slightly longer to have children and the fact that their older parents are living longer.
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The economy has exacerbated the squeeze on the “sandwich generation.” Seniors struggle to cope with rising medical and long-term care costs, their home values and investments portfolios are diminishing, and they need help. IT’S HARD TO SAY NO If you find yourself in this position, know that you are not alone. The “sandwich generation” is on the rise and many others know the difficulties that arise when you are maintaining your own home, family and career and simultaneously trying to ensure that your parents are safe, content and provided for. Chances are, you did not plan for this, and you are stressed,
worried and depressed about having enough funds or time to handle this situation. Emotionally, you may be wondering where your sanity went, or you may just want more time to actually enjoy your family. You will need to find the endurance to take on this unexpected and exhausting new role. Do not neglect the quality of your own life because you are taking care of others. GET YOUR KIDS INVOLVED This will be a new role for you to play for which no one can ever rehearse. There will be many challenges. Open a dialogue with your parents, your spouse and your children (if old
enough to understand) about your plans and expectations. If you have siblings, or boomerang kids (see the February issue), they can share in these responsibilities with you. Encourage your children to take responsibility for their grandparents and vice versa. Hold family meetings to discuss the many different tasks that need to be accomplished each day or week. Set tasks for family members to complete daily or weekly. Children who drive can help to run errands like grocery shopping or taking your parents to doctorâ€™s appointments. You will be instilling a sense of family closeness, responsibility and helpfulness in your kids, and making life a little easier on yourself. Even if your
children are young, they are still great entertainment and an amazing source of joy to an older person. INFORMATION IS KEY Likewise, your parents may also be able to help you with childcare, and they donâ€™t expect to be paid! It will give them a feeling of being needed and useful. Talk to your parents about legal and financial arrangements. Communication and honesty is key here, so you may have to ask some difficult questions. Are they capable of caring for their specific medical needs? If your parents are still living on their own, ask them about their plans for the future. Are they comfortable with the idea of long-term nursing care, should that become necessary or desirable? Have they budgeted for this kind of care, or do they have sufficient insurance to cover it? If not, you may want to do some research about what sort of aid they may qualify for, or set up a highyield
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savings account to generate funds to pay for nursing and/or hospice care. This doesn’t automatically mean they’ll eventually end up in a nursing home, but having the option can bring about peace of mind. Contingency plans are a vital part of caring for aging parents. Who has power of attorney? In the event that one or both of them become ill or incapacitated, what sort of paperwork is in place to ensure that they are provided for properly? What decisions do they want to entrust to you and your siblings if they cannot make certain decisions for themselves? It is definitely worth the expense to sit down with an attorney and a financial planner to map out the basics. These professionals can also point you in the direction of senior citizens’ organizations and advocacy agencies that can offer resources you may not be aware of. Statistically, women are more likely than their husbands to take on the stressful day-to-day responsibilities of senior care. Sandwich generation men and women both reported feeling more stressed than individuals without the same responsibilities. Encouragingly, however, these sandwich generation folks reported feeling just as satisfied with their life as their non-sandwiched counterparts. If you are part of the sandwich generation, you may feel stressed and spread thin; you may also be feeling incredibly useful and productive. It is essential to keep the lines of communication open between you and your spouse while you manage the myriad demands of the sandwich generation. Be available to one another, withhold judgment, and remember that you are on the same side. The two of you are the central hub around which two generations turn. There is a whole family depending on you for guidance and support, so
do whatever you can to support each other, and inquire often about what you can do to help each other. Be sure to make room in your schedules for relaxing, one-on-one time with each other, just the two of you, at which time you agree not to discuss your sandwich generation stresses. If you’re a “sandwicher,” take care of yourself. Don’t let yourself become physically and emotionally exhausted in caring for your kids and your parents. Don’t try to meet every need of your children and your parents. If you do, you won’t be of use to either—or to yourself. F
WHEN CARING FOR AGING PARENTS LEADS TO PROBLEMS AT WORK
aring for aging parents in America is no cakewalk. By now, most of us are familiar with concepts such as “care giver burn-out.” What about the financial “fall-out?” Nearly 47% of all baby boomers are lending some degree of support to a parent while still supporting children. They are the Sandwich Generation. They juggle children, parents and their job and 40% are missing work on a regular basis. A Dupont Corporation study found that working caregivers had the highest job burnout rate. For this reason proactive employers are turning to Employee Assistance Programs who offer Geriatric Care Management Services. Thousands of employees are struggling with the issue of balancing work life and caregiver responsibilities. Some lose their jobs because they cannot achieve balance in their work
lives. Geriatric Care Managers assess the needs of the elder from a medical, psychological, social, financial, insurance, legal, environmental and cultural perspective. Then a strategy or care plan containing proposed solutions is presented to the caregiver. The Sandwich Generation can successfully meet the greatest challenge of our age if they seek out solid information and develop a plan. Quitting a job to care for a parent is usually financially impossible and
frankly, working outside the home offers a much needed break from care giving. The work place also offers a valuable lesson. Working caregivers find the secret to successfully managing their caregiver role is like managing a company. All the “work” of caring for an elder must be broken down into separate duties. The caregiver becomes the manager and outsources and delegates any tasks that can or should be done by others. A budget must be developed and consultants are brought in when necessary. Sometimes federal programs are needed. Just like in business, managers must have realistic expectations, goals and the flexibility to adapt to change. Afraid to delegate your caregiver duties? Remember, a manager who cannot delegate cannot be successful… in business or in care giving.—Sonja Kobrin, M.P.S, Geriatric Care Manager at V.I.P. Management, Inc.
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THE NEW FACE OF
Beauty By Diane Feen
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If you ask Cindy Joseph what makes a woman beautiful, she will tell you that it’s not dewy or wrinkle free skin, but how much joy she takes into her life. And Joseph ought to know. At the age of 49 she was approached on the street in the East Village of New York by a casting agent in search of a model for Dolce & Gabbana. Six months later she appeared in More Magazine, and it wasn’t long before Ford Modeling Agency signed her up.
t is ironic that Joseph, who spent so much time behind the camera as a make-up artist, is now front center as a model herself. And, at the age of 62 she is not surprised about her success. “Getting older has always gotten a bad rap. Women are taught their value goes down as they age, but the good news is that this theory is make-believe. We can decide what our value is, and instead of avoiding our age, we can find a new kind of beautiful,” declares Joseph. This new beauty is not without flaws, but according to Joseph, it is part and parcel of what makes us unique and special. “I tell women that their sun spots, crow’s feet and silver hair are their badges, trophies and medals. Age is fun; it’s intelligent, wise and adventurous. Getting older does not have to mean that you are getting worse,” said the five-foot-seven-inch mom of two. Not only does Joseph champion theaging process, she has created buzz
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words that embrace it. Instead of the popular marketing moniker used by consumer product gurus to make us feel repairable—“the anti-aging fix”—she defines this natural process as Agefull Beauty rather than Ageless Beauty. “I have no desire to hide the fact that I have been on the planet for 62 years. Some people say they accept their age but I celebrate it.”
oseph has a lot to celebrate. She was a successful make-up artist for top model and ad campaigns for 27 years. Her talent of using make-up to emphasize and enhance a woman’s character and natural beauty, rather than changing it, made her a star in the field. She also worked on the Esprit de Corps ads with Oliviero Toscani, and in Paris she was a make-up artist for European magazines and ad agencies. When Joseph came back to New York she was at the top of her game, working as a make-up artist for super models, magazine shoots and celebrities. But now the shoe is on the other foot. Joseph earns much more money (and notoriety) as a model than she did as a make-up artist. She has also appeared in ads for Ann Taylor, DKNY, Garnier, J. Crew, Anthropologie, Banana Republic, Olay, Aveda and Nivea. Joseph has also appeared in O Magazine, More, Glamour, Mademoiselle and Real Simple. This level of fame was inconceivable to Joseph when she was younger. She readily admits she was shorter and slightly heavier than most runway models and lacked the self-acceptance she now has. “In high school I wore two pairs of faux eyelashes and I always thought I was not pretty enough. I used to dress up because I was motivated by fear. When I was 43-years-old I was freaking out because the hair around my face was white. It was then that I started dying my hair,” said the California native. As Joseph tells it, her life took a turn
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in a new direction after attending a course at the Institute of Human Abilities. “I learned about my true nature that was pleasure-oriented rather than goal oriented. After that my entire persona changed and people noticed me in a different way.” You can say that again. Joseph has become the model of perfection for the imperfect, more specifically, baby boomers that weren’t born yesterday. She is also the face of acceptance that tells women it’s okay to be yourself. You don’t need Botox, Restylane or a brow lift. Models like Joseph are the good luck charm for advertisers wanting to cozy up to female baby boomers, regardless of how peaceful or protesting they are.
he facts are as simple as they are realistic. As over 77 million baby boomers age, advertisers are looking for beautiful older models that boomers can relate to. If they don’t, they risk losing a generation of women with good taste and tremendous buying power. And that buying power is nothing short of impressive. According to a Nielsen study, baby boomers—born between 1946 and 1964—account for nearly $230 billion in sales of consumer packaged goods and 55 percent of CPG. Others estimate that boomers make up 26 percent of the population and have over $2 billion in spending power. With numbers like that, marketers are taking notice and taking older models with them for the ride. American Apparel, a brand notorious for appealing to PYT (Pretty Young Things) cast a 61-year old model in one of their ads, and so did Lanvin. Vogue Magazine also followed this long and winding road toward boomer beauty when 83-year-old Daphne Selfe appeared on 046 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
their pages. And, at 81 model Carmen Dell’Orefice walked the Spring-Summer 2013 runway show for Norisol Ferrari at New York Fashion Week. “The market for older models has exploded,” says Ginni Conquest, co-director of the sophisticated women’s division at Wilhelmina Models in New York. “It’s our fastest-growing area, and it’s a first for the industry.” Although fashion companies have been a bit shy to highlight the inner beauty that translates into outer beauty of today’s boomers, consumer products companies have more than made up for that omission. Activia threw the gauntlet to Jamie Lee Curtis
and L’Oreal Paris chose Diane Keaton to be their boomer babe. To embrace a re-awakening of what Joseph calls a Pro-Age beauty revolution, she has launched a makeup line called BOOM! By Cindy Joseph. Joseph’s minimalist cosmetics line is designed to play up rather than conceal traces of aging. “I don’t want to ever tell women that their look has to be changed, fixed or hidden,” she said. “These products don’t hide anything. There’s no foundation, under-eye concealer or dizzying array of eye and lip shades.” BOOM! features only three items—a color stick to give a natural flush to cheeks, eyes and lips; a highlighting stick to play up certain planes of the face; and a moisturizing stick to make dry patches more dewy. “I created BOOM! to celebrate the beauty we, as women, were born with. These products allow your personality and character to come through with the sensual glow of joy. I made them for my peers and for young women who look to my generation for inspiration. I want women to know that you don’t have to ‘put on your face’ anymore. You already have one, let it shine.” F
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LOL THE MAGIC OF
BY DIANE FEEN
n apple a day may keep the doctor away, but laughter will strengthen your immune system and improve your overall health. But don’t expect your doctor to write you a prescription for this child-like past time. That’s because many people are unaware of how important laughter is to our overall mental and physical health. And besides we would be pretty upset if our physicians handed us a joke book instead of a prescription for an antibiotic when we were ill. Luckily Norman Cousins didn’t listen to his doctor or the medical community when he was diagnosed with a rare spine disease known as ankylosing spondylitis. Instead he checked into a hotel and watched hours of Marx Brothers, Charlie Chaplin films and Candid Camera
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HAVE TWO LAUGHS & CALL ME IN THE MORNING!
reruns. He augmented his laughter therapy with large doses of vitamin C. The results were miraculous. He was not only able to circumvent pain for several hours by laughing for 10 minutes a day, but he was able to resume a normal life soon afterwards. That doesn’t surprise Judy Garmaise, a South Florida social
worker and certified laugh leader. “Laughter strengthens the body’s ability to fight disease and to fight viruses and bacteria.” Garmaise believes in laughter so much that she leads laughter clubs for corporations, retirement homes, and associations. Her laughter club helps people explore the fun side of life. The students range in age from 12 to 80 and all seem to benefit from this hearty form of exercise that includes chanting the laughter cheer—Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha. From a medical standpoint the effects of laughter are no laughing matter. Dr. Lee Berk and colleague Dr. Stanley Tan of Loma Linda University in California discovered that laughter lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases muscle flexion, and boosts immune function by
raising infection-fighting T-cells. Their research also showed that laughter increases disease-fighting proteins like Gamma-interferon and B-cells and triggers the release of endorphins— the body’s natural painkillers. That’s why laughter clubs are springing up all over the country. There are currently over 2,000 certified laughter leaders that receive laughter instruction from The World Laughter Tour. Laughter classes consist of laughing and breathing exercises, stretching, and positive affirmations. According to Garmaise, children laugh over 350 times a day but adults laugh only nine to 15 times per day. Not what the doctor ordered. “Laughter is a skill that allows us to cope and realize that most things in life that we stress about aren’t as cumbersome as they appear to be. By laughing we are able to step back, relax, and put things in perspective,” said Beverly Hills psychiatrist, Dr. Charles Sophy. With our lives becoming more stressful and challenging every day, the ability to laugh can really come in handy. The price is right (free) and you don’t need a prescription to indulge in this past time. That’s why life coach Lynn Marks advocates laughter for her patients. “Laughter cleanses the body, mind, and soul. It raises your inner vibration and releases old emotional blocks through chemical transformation. Strive for 12 or more good laughs a day and you will feel the difference.” The effects of laughter are so profound that some hospitals are starting laughter clubs to help those suffering from chronic disease. The Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor has seminars for health-care professionals to promote
laugher as a healing art. Not only is laughter good for your physical health, but it can also enhance work performance, learning, improve office morale and facilitate emotional, cognitive, social, and spiritual healing. Not only is humor easier to stomach than antibiotics but it has been shown to improve our relationships. Who wouldn’t want
to have a spouse or partner who makes us laugh and feel giddy? When we can laugh at ourselves—and at each other—in a playful way, it decompresses stressful situations and generates good feelings. I assume your family doctor would feel the same. So the next time you’re feeling a little under the weather, take two jokes and call him in the morning! F
HERE ARE SOME LAUGHTER READY IDEAS TO JUMP START YOUR DAY! 3 SHARE HUMOR: When you hear or read a funny story or joke repeat it to friends and co-workers and let yourself laugh as many times as you want (the Internet is a good place to find—and trade—hilarious jokes). 3 WATCH YOUR FAVORITE COMEDY SHOW on TV or listen to a radio personality that makes you laugh once a day. 3 CUT OUT A JOKE or comic from a magazine or newspaper and put it on your refrigerator. Put a funny picture on your car dashboard. 3 MAKE FUN OF YOURSELF or indulge in creative complaining (Rodney Dangerfield made a career out of it). 3 WATCH FUNNY MOVIES at home or go to the movies to see a humorous situation comedy. If it’s really good stay to see it twice. 3 TRY ON OLD CLOTHING, jewelry, or glamorous outfits that you haven’t worn in a long time. 3 TRY TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR and smile as often as you can remember. Remember having a good time can become a habit—so make a habit of it.
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“Improving your life, one breath at a time™.” Dr. Alan Wasserman, FAGD, AADSM, of the South Florida Sleep Apnea Center, specializes in “improving your life, one breath at a time™.”A graduate of Tufts University School of Dental Medicine, Dr. Wasserman has dedicated his 40 year career to providing the very best in oral health and patient care.“Bridging the gap between dentistry and medicine™,” the Center focuses on treatment for those who suffer from Sleep Apnea.
WHAT EXACTLY IS SLEEP APNEA? The cause of Apnea is a blockage of the airway due to the relaxation of muscles during sleep.This results in a lack of oxygen to the brain. If left untreated, sleep apnea can lead to heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure, an increased incidence of ADHD, depression, car accidents, erectile dysfunction and a host of other serious health problems including death. OSA, or Obstructive Sleep Apnea, is most commonly associated with overweight males over forty. However, sleep apnea can affect anyone—even children, who develop behavioral problems and serious medical conditions as a result. It is estimated that fifty million Americans have this problem; most of them undiagnosed and untreated. Sleep apnea is an unrecognized killer, but it is hiding in plain sight. Every night more than 50 million Americans stop breathing—often up to 400 times a night. Obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) is a condition that affects one’s ability to breathe while asleep and is, as more and more people are discovering daily, alarmingly common.
GETTING THE PROPER DIAGNOSIS IS THE KEY. Dr. Wasserman is specially trained and equipped to handle your sleep apnea issues. Once the diagnosis is made treatment can begin by designing a non-invasive, custom mouthpiece (or oral appliance) which gently moves the jaw forward, allowing the user to breathe normally without snoring or stopping your breathing (apnea). Once the appliance is adjusted to the proper position, the problem is solved. There are no cumbersome masks, hoses or noise (as with the CPAP machine).You carry it in a retainer case; you can talk, breathe through your mouth and even drink with it in. It is breathtakingly (pun intended) simple, painless and effective.
For more information, call Dr.Wasserman at the South Florida Sleep Apnea Center, 22053 State Road 7, Boca Raton, Florida 877-561-SLEEP (877-561-7533) or 561-477-9500
HARMONY BY DIANE FEEN
t holiday time we rejoice, offer each other gifts and spend time with our loved ones. Often times we gather together with family and friends for what is supposed to be a love fest, a reminder of our intimate and familial bonds. But not every dinner table is filled with harmonious chatter and congenial conversation. There are those times, and relationships, that just rock the boat, rattle our emotional cages and cause us to wonder, “Am I really related to this person?” When faced with problematic relationships with our loved ones—that
are often magnified during the holidays—there are appropriate options. But a solution must be contemplated and prepared ahead of time. What can be brushed off easily in a phone conversation or a letter is not as easy to ignore in person. A critical parent or disruptive teenager can transform one’s glowing inner self into ashes of remorse. But don’t fret, help is on the way. Relationship consultant Cheryl Bourget has a solution for dealing with difficult family members at holiday time. “I have a client who does not get along with her mother. She begins to prepare herself for 052 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
the holidays in advance by affirming, “I am allowing myself to have a free flowing experience with my mother.” Bourget has the client post index cards all over her house with this affirmation of peace and harmony. The client is encouraged to repeat this phrase out loud as often as possible to reinforce a positive outcome. When faced with critical or demanding relatives, Bourget recom-
mends acknowledging their positive qualities, not their negative ones. “I tell my client with the difficult mother to be unconditionally accepting and focus on the positive. Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, she can think, “Doesn’t my mom have on a nice sweater today,” or “Isn’t that a great present she brought.” Boca Raton Psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Laquidara also has expertise and a proven track record helping patients sort out family issues. According to Laquidara, it is our expectations that hinder our ability to get along with some relatives. “It’s important to be realistic about our relatives and what they’re capable of. If you accept them for who they are, it allows you to relax and not get upset.” If a relative is abusive, Laquidara recommends removing yourself from the situation or the event. Instead of expecting your parents or relatives to upset your mental equilibrium, experts suggest working on expanding your interpersonal and spiritual skills—the most important being compassion. It’s also critical to practice the Buddhist mantra of non-judgment (easier said than done). According to David Chernikoff, a teacher of Colorado Insight Meditation, “Family
relationships are best viewed as rich, valuable opportunities for spiritual development and psychological insight.” But often times it’s not so easy. That’s why it is good to begin or increase your meditation, yoga or transformational breathing routine before the holidays. Health clubs, spas, therapists and life coaches are always on hand to teach you how to slow down, go inside and calm the urge to fight or flight when confronted with emotional baggage from childhood. Dr. Deri Ronis, a Delray Beach psychotherapist, says that keeping emotions repressed can create more chaos than dealing with them directly. “You always want to bring the dragon out of the closet or the ghost out of the room. You have to look at your expectations and find a way to deal with problems in the least stressful way.” Ronis advocates being honest and true to ourselves, “Don’t do something just because someone else wants you to.” Many times Ronis sees couples in conflict over whose family to spend the holidays with. She advises couples to go separately to their respective families, or compromise and spend one holiday with the woman’s side of the
family and the next holiday with the husband’s relatives. “It is often a good idea to bring one set of parents with you to the other parent’s house for the holidays,” said Ronis. If you find yourself in the grip of anger (we are human after all), there is one good way to diffuse your fuse. The rich ancient text of the Bhagavad Gita dictates that when we get angry we need to stop and ask ourselves this question: “What do I want from this situation that I am not getting?” When we ask ourselves this question we gain detachment or distance from anger. This allows us to look at the anger instead of being caught in the middle of it. Then we can ask ourselves, “What other way can I achieve this?” If you experience sibling conflict Ronis suggests setting up parameters. “You can choose to respect this person by having the least amount of interaction with them. Also, try not to talk to them about anything serious.” Laquidara sees some sibling conflicts arise from unrealistic expectations. “A lot of times we just expect a sibling to be obnoxious and say the wrong thing. We end up feeling on edge because we want them to be
perfect, and they’re not. It’s important to accept them for who they are.” Part of Bourget’s user’s guide to relationships dictates that it is important to create an intention before attending a family gathering. “Keep in mind ahead of time what you want to experience, like joy and harmony, and then focus on giving and receiving and the holiday spirit. Then focus on the positive things about the people coming to your house, or those whose house you are in,” she said. There is one thing to note how ever—“life is indeed a mirror.” We are turned off by people who have negative tendencies that are similar to the ones we dislike in ourselves. Often times if we carefully examine our dislike for someone, we will see that we are more alike than we thought. Ronis has a valid theory about the bliss and blisters of interpersonal holiday relationships: “Focus on what’s really important in life. When all is said and done you have to ask yourself, ‘How do you want your family to remember you? What do you need to say to have harmony and to be at peace with your family and yourself?’ That’s what the holidays are all about.” F
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tips to help you Eight overcome a DRY SPELL in your marriage BY DR. E.C. GORDON
he claim that a married sex life is necessarily repetitive or stale is an inaccurate clichĂŠ. If you and your spouse are finding physical intimacy to be unsatisfying in its nature or frequency, you do not simply need to accept that this is how things will continue to be. Read on to discover the eight most effective and straightforward things that you can do in order to overcome a sexual dry spell in your marriage, and learn how to make married sex hot, fun and passionate once again.
DONâ€™T LET YOUR SEX LIFE CAUSE DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY:
It is vital to remember that almost all couples experience periods of diminished sexual desire or satisfaction. Even people who are deeply in love and sexually open-minded can still find their sex lives destroyed by stress, family responsibilities or health problems. It is also common to have a temporarily
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reduced libido and be entirely unsure of the cause, even when you are still extremely attracted to your partner.
ENCOURAGE OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION ABOUT SEX:
Although sex is becoming increasingly less taboo as a topic of conversation, some married couples still feel too uncomfortable and apprehensive to instigate a sober and direct conversation about their sex lives. However, studies repeatedly show that people who frequently discuss their sexual needs and desires tend to be much more likely to describe their sex lives as satisfying and enjoyable. If you are going to move past a dry spell in your marriage, it is important to be able to give each other suggestions regarding what would make physical intimacy more enjoyable for you. Is there a new way you would like to be touched? Do you want to learn what frequency of sex would be ideal for your spouse? These sorts of questions can help to restructure your sex life in a way that pleases you both, and you will also find that discussing what turns you on can be instrumental in spiking levels of desire. It is exciting to hear about what your partner likes most about you and your sexual prowess, and it can also be thrilling to confess to some fantasies that you have hitherto kept secret.
ADOPT AN OPEN-MINDED APPROACH TO TRYING NEW THINGS IN YOUR SEX LIFE: After years of having sex, married couples often fall into a minimally enjoyable and practical routine when it comes to making love. While this is better than having no sex life at 056 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
all, it can become a dull or empty experience for one or both parties. In spite of this, you may be hesitant and uncomfortable at the thought of changing your routine. You may worry about your partner laughing at your new ideas, or fear that you will develop stage fright in the face of attempting a new technique in bed. One way to get around this intimidating roadblock is to agree to write a list of things that you want to think about trying. Once you and your spouse have worked out what should be on such a list, you can sit down and talk about what seems most appealing (and remember that you are not obligated to actually show your partner the list). If even this approach sounds too daunting, try browsing the internet to find checklists of sexual ideas. This is an
excellent way to discover which things you want to try out or discount, and some of the items on this checklist may spark result in entirely new ideas of your own. In addition, most couples can find a lot of humor in this activity, as few are drawn to the most extreme options.
MAKE BEDTIME MORE CONDUCIVE TO SEXUAL INTIMACY:
First, it is important that you be able to feel attracted to your spouse regardless of whether they are wearing a sexy outfit or an old t-shirt. However, you are unlikely to consistently burn with lust if you see your partner in an ill-fitting pajama set every time you go to bed. If one or both of you stop putting in effort when it comes to dressing for bed, this can unfortunately have an adverse influence on the level of sexual desire and chemistry that exists between you. Bear in mind that neither of you need to squeeze into fetish wear in order to make going to bed more conducive to sex; simply going to bed in your underwear (or nothing at all) can set your spouseâ€™s pulse racing.
REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE IMPORTANT SEXUAL BENEFITS THAT COME WITH MARRIAGE: While you might fall into the trap of thinking that life
would be more fun if you had multiple new partners on a regular basis or were just starting to have sex with a new love, don’t forget that married couples get to enjoy many benefits that are lacked in such circumstances. For one thing, you know that if something goes wrong in the bedroom then this one bad performance won’t shake your partner’s commitment or make them reconsider being with you. In addition, when you are with someone who knows you well and is committed to loving you, there is more freedom to be honest about certain sexual fantasies and activities that you would like to explore. Finally, knowing one another’s bodies as well as you do means that when making love goes well it can be profoundly satisfying in a way that a one night stand or a sex session with a new person seldom turns out to be.
REALIZE THAT SEXUAL PROBLEMS CAN INFECT OTHER AREAS OF YOUR MARRIAGE: If you are struggling to find the courage to talk to your spouse about your sex life concerns, one thing that might motivate you is the knowledge that a bad sex life seldom remains isolated. It almost always causes further interpersonal problems. In contrast, better physical intimacy usually improves your emotional connection with your partner, so it is well worth having a frank discussion about your sex life. As your sex life gets better, so will everyday aspects of your marriage, and in response to these interpersonal improvements the sex is likely to improve even more.
DO NOT ASSUME THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER’S BODY:
When you have been married for years or decades, it is all too easy to believe that you must have already learned everything that there is to know about your spouse’s erogenous zones and sexual responses. In truth, there is always more to learn, and abandoning the mistaken assumption that you know it all can lead to newly heightened sexual creativity. Each person is different when it comes to which areas feel best when stimulated, so try exploring new parts of your partner’s body during foreplay (either with your hands or your mouth). Some people love to be softly kissed on the back, while others experience shivers of pleasure when the sensitive skin of the scalp is stroked. Giving or receiving a full-body massage is also
an enjoyable and relaxing way to learn about surprisingly pleasurable or arousing areas of the body. Constantly trying to find new sensitive spots and experimenting with new ways of stimulating the confirmed erogenous zones helps to stop sex from being a predictable, businesslike affair.
WORK TO MAKE YOUR BEDROOM A PLACE ASSOCIATED WITH SEXUAL INTIMACY:
It is important to be able to see your bedroom as place in which you can enjoy freedom and relaxation away from your daily obligations. Often, this will mean making sure that it is free from children and pets, especially since it seems that these family members are particularly prone to bursting in at the exact moment that you and your spouse are becoming amorous. While any children you have should feel free to knock on your door for attention if they need help or assistance, your sex life will improve if your children do not enter the room without permission. If you keep these tips in mind, then with a little time and effort you should be able to overcome a dry spell in your marriage. However, it is important to note that all is not lost if you and your spouse still find that you are struggling. Some couples counselors specialize in sexual therapy, and they may be able to get to the heart of why your sex life remains so unsatisfying. Problems in the bedroom do not have to indicate that the marriage is destined to fail, and they are not indications that a good sex life is a thing of the past. In addition, it is important that you not be fooled by popular claims about how much sex is healthy, or how much sex a married couple ‘needs’ to have. Such claims only cause doubt and insecurity, and they are deeply misleading because what is healthy or necessary varies greatly from one relationship to another. With these thoughts in mind, it will be easier for you to avoid panicking or becoming extremely distraught in response to a dry spell in your marriage. If you can stay calm and keep thinking in a productive way, it will be a lot easier to improve your sex life with your spouse. A relaxed attitude to intimacy more easily leads to fun, uninhibited experimentation, while believing that your physical relationship is doomed usually ends up contaminating your everyday interactions as well. F Dr. E. C. Gordon (PhD) has a background in studying philosophy, psychology, health and sociology.
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t ! t e g r o F FORGIVE & BY B.R. GREY
YOU’VE BEEN WRONGED— NOW WHAT? How do you respond when someone has committed an offense against you? What is the best way for you to respond when you have been victimized?
ou’re first option is to hold on to the feelings of betrayal, anger, and pain. But this inevitably leads to bitterness, a loss of joy in life, and the potential for health complications. The second option—and the better option—is to forgive the offense. Sadly, though, many people have a misunderstanding about what forgiveness is and what it requires. Here are four clarifications of what it means to forgive.
FORGIVENESS DOES NOT EXCUSE A WRONG; IT PUTS IT BEHIND YOU. Contrary to popular belief, offering forgiveness does not excuse or condone a wrongdoing. It does not say, “What you did is okay.” Instead, forgiveness says, “What you did is not okay, but I’m going to forgive you anyway.” The benefit for you as the forgiver is that forgiveness frees you from bondage to the wrong. When you refuse to forgive, you can never get beyond it. In essence, you are tied to that moment in history. But when you forgive, you can leave the wrong in the past. Instead, you can be set free to move forward in life. 058 | GREY MATTERS | APRIL 2013
FORGIVENESS DEPENDS ON THE FORGIVER, NOT THE OFFENDER.
FORGIVENESS IS A SIGN OF STRENGTH, NOT WEAKNESS.
FORGIVENESS IS AN ACT OF MERCY, NOT TRUST.
Ideally, the person who committed the offense will approach you to seek your forgiveness. But even if that does not happen, you can still choose to forgive. And you can reap the benefit of that forgiveness, allowing you to move forward in life unhindered by the wrong that was done to you.
Years after the Columbine shootings, many survivors and families have learned the power of forgiveness. Rachel Scott’s parents experienced a “letting go” process that freed them from the offenders. “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Likewise, Aurora movie theater shooting victim Christina Blanche doesn’t want to keep dwelling on the past, and eventually would like to move on and be able to forgive. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong,” (Mahatma Ghandi). Simply stated, the ability to forgive is a sign of strength. In truth, though, offering forgiveness can be difficult. The easy thing would be to remain angry and hostile. In choosing to forgive, it displays great strength.
There’s an old cliché that says. “Forgive and forget.” In reality, that is neither possible nor advisable. You can forgive, but it is unlikely that you will ever forget. At best, the wrong that has been done to you will fade until it is a distant memory. Since you will not forget, forgiveness is really a display of mercy. You are choosing not to hold the wrongdoing against the offender. You
Forgiveness is not always easy but it is always
are not going to use it as a weapon against the offender. This display of mercy, however, does not mean you have to leave yourself vulnerable to a similar offense in the future. Forgiving does not mean you allow the wrongdoer to repeat the offense. Instead, until the wrongdoer regains your trust, you can and should take the appropriate precaution to prevent a repeat offense. Forgiveness is not always easy but it is always worth it. Not just because of what it means for the offender, but also because of the benefits it holds for you. F
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ISOLDA AN ARTIST WITH THE MAGIC TOUCH BY DIANE FEEN
s a girl Isolda Mora Noli was mesmerized by the natural beauty of the universe. Her family’s home in Panama was surrounded by an exotic nature preserve and her imagination would often travel in tandem with its brilliance. To know Isolda is to know that art is in her blood. Her father Jose Guillermo Mora Noli was a very famous painter, architect, art teacher and sculpture who founded both the School of Cilindrismo. His artwork and sculptures are in The Museum of Modern Art in New York City, The Corcoran Gallery in Washington D.C. and other galleries and museums around the world. From her father, Isolda learned about self expression and color—abstraction and proportion. She also studied at the University of Panama earning a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree. But it is her unwavering love of nature and its reflection upon our spirits, that has garnered her rave reviews in the art world. Isolda's Art Gallery Isolda may be a fine artist with an impressive art pedigree, 144 South Federal Hwy. but her story is clearly magnified through the large colorful Boca Raton, FL paintings hanging in her new Art Gallery on South Federal Hwy 561-574-3515 in Boca Raton. www.isoldart.us One of the twelve collections that Isolda has painted is called Rain Forest. This colorful group of paintings is inspired by exotic and temperate rain forests all over the world. “I am inspired by nature and The Everglades. I feel for what is happening there and I donate money from each painting sold,” said Isolda, who is warm and charming, and enjoys chatting with gallery guests. The vibrant shades of green, yellow and red conjure up images of green fields, bamboo and textural context. To describe this natural habitat Isolda likes to tell viewers: “Imagine a place where water runs clear and free from abundant rivers, flowers of all colors and scents are everywhere, the grass is thick and the green trees are so large that their branches can shade an entire village. This is the rainforest of my childhood. It is a magical place where life abounds in every corner.” Following in her father’s footsteps Isolda has created twelve collections using the cylindrical techniques her father taught. Her art work reflects the peace and love that she so imbibes. “Come to the gallery and imagine a place so peaceful and full of love that your heart just sinks into its pleasure zone. I await your visit,” said Isolda with a smile.
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his beach condo in Hallandale Beachâ€”designed by Rafaela Simoes and Laila Colvin, from 2 ID Interiorsâ€” features a clean mix of materials, patterns, shapes, lights and textures creating an ambiance that is cool, calm and contemporary. The colors used in the living and dining room were white laquer with gray and yellow accents. The TV was recessed in a niche covered with beautiful textured wallpaper. Large-scale abstract acrylic painting by artist Margot Janes above the grey fabric sofa lend excitement and personality to the living room. The white and gray Italian marble, Volaskas, throughout the apartment brings elegance to the decor.
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custom round ceiling chandlelier is the focal point for this ultra-modern dining room. The glass dining-room table allows you to see the gorgeous marble floors. No room was overlooked, not even this sleek modern laundry room (below).
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he guest bedroom features a textured- silk wallpapered wall. The mix of dark furniture with white bedding, flooring and walls is a perfect balance for a warm and cozy bedroom. The two black circle wall medallions are from Z Gallerie, the silk-wool rugs from Potterybarn and table lamps from Westelm. The guest bathroom (below) features white quartz countertops, green accents and a large walk-in glass shower with rain showerhead.
he master bedroom is very clean and confortable. White furniture and acqua color accents reflects the owners desired beach style. In the master bathroom, more warmth was achieved by adding walnut cabinets to the white quartz counter top. The white porcelain floor tile with beige and white mosaic details and all the mirrors make this wonderful bathroom look very spacious.
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your next great book The Fountain of Truth / BY GENIE JAMES
he Fountain of Truth brings refreshing candor about every woman’s struggle with gravity and greying and paves the way to a revolutionary approach of changing the aging process. Gemie James sifts through the latest science to help women devise a personalized plan for a more thriving and fulfilling life. Medical miracles really do have the potential to reduce the risk of chronic disease while positively impacting long-term health, sexuality, and longevity. Learn about things you can do to override your genes to age slower, happier, and better. For more information check out geniejames.com.
Tenth of December / BY GEORGE SAUNDERS Reviewed by SUSANNAH PASK
acArthur “genius grant” recipient and New Yorker contributor, George Saunders, shows rare brilliance and originality in a new collection of short stories Tenth of December. He’s been called one of the best writers of his generation, and has a cult-like following among the literati. You will laugh out loud at his extraordinary humor, yet commiserate with bizarrely original characters who are saddled with the piercing realization of an ugly truth. Saunders’ heroes and heroines find themselves in situations in which they are forced to choose between their own integrity and towing the line in an immoral society. In January of this year, The New York Times wrote about Saunders in an article entitled, “George Saunders has written the Best Book You’ll Read This Year.” Can’t help agreeing with them—so far.
Black Dahlia & White Rose / BY JOYCE CAROL OATES Reviewed by SUSANNAH PASK
oyce Carol Oates never disappoints—she has a knack for holding our hand and leading us down into a macabre, unsettling world of darkness and deceit. Black Dahlia and White Rose traces the brief intersection in the lives of Elizabeth Short (more commonly known after her murder as The Black Dahlia) and Norma Jean Baker (aka Marilyn Monroe), who could have been the one murdered, given a slight twist of fate. It’s a world where nothing is what it seems. There are doomed victims, disturbing situations and unreliable narrators who may, in fact, be the ones with something to hide.
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Moms are the heart of the family Grey Matters wishes you all a Happy Mothers Day
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It doesn’t matter if your mother was a great cook, semi-good or plain awful, there’s bound to be one recipe you just HAVE to pass on!
> 1-1/2 cups hot water > 1 pkg.StoveTop stuffing mix for chicken > 40 fresh mushrooms > 2 tbsp. butter > 2 cloves garlic, minced > 1 pkg. frozen chopped spinach, thawed & drained > 1 cup Kraft shredded low-moisture part-skim mozzarella cheese > 1 cup Kraft grated parmesan cheese
Meatballs with Prunes
Grilled Lamb with Brow n Sugar Glaze
> Heat oven to 400ºF. > Add hot water to stuffing mix in large bowl; stir just until moistened. > Remove stems from mushrooms; chop stems. > Melt butter in skillet on medium heat. Add chopped stems and garlic; cook and stir 5 min. or until tender. Add to stuffing with spinach and cheeses; mix well. > Spoon into mushroom caps. Place filled-sides up, in shallow pan. > Bake 20 minutes or until mushrooms are tender and filling is heated through.
> 2 pounds lean ground meat > 1/2 cup bread crumbs > 2 eggs > 2 teaspoon onion powder > 26 ounce can tomato sauce > 2 tbsp. vegetable oil > 16 ounce can cranberry sauce > 12 pitted prunes
> Combine first 4 ingredients in a bowl & mix well. > Form mixture into medium size balls. > Heat vegetable oil and brown meatballs. > Remove from heat and drain meatballs. > In a pot, combine the sauces and prunes. Cook over medium heat. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. > Carefully add meatballs to the pot. > Cover the pot and cook on low for 40 minutes.
Got a recipe? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org WWW.GREYMATTERSMAGAZINE.NET
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Dr. Naved Fatmi is a University of Florida Trained Doctor of Dental Medicine * Mention Grey Matters Magazine Regency at Woodfield 3003 Yamato Rd.
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Boca Raton, FL 33434 561.998.0727 www.regencycourtdentistry.com
EACH ISSUE WE SEND OUR PHOTOGRAPHERS AND WRITERS TO CAPTURE THE LATEST OPENINGS AND THE MOST TALKED ABOUT EVENTS IN SOUTH FLORIDA
outh Florida may not have taxis clipping the curb or construction workers yelling, “Hey Yo,” but we do have some semblance of East Coast culture. Some of us miss the bright lights of Broadway and the downtown counterculture, but for most of us it’s a fair trade to be able to wear flip flops in December. But that doesn’t mean that South Floridians (and snowbirds) don’t want to get dressed up, go out and have a good time. As a matter of fact, there are new theaters opening up all the time (The Caldwell is having a reincarnation), new and exciting retail venues, special events and restaurants just waiting for our presence. BY THE SUNSHINE GIRLS
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NEW DESTINATIONS DELRAY MARKETPLACE
estinations is the sprawling new 275,000-square-foot shopping center called the Delray Marketplace. Located on the Western frontier of Delray Beach (on Lyons Rd. and West Atlantic Ave) it boasts of retail stores, restaurants, movie theaters and open spaces. There may not be a beach view (spoiler alert) but there is enough clear air and land to make one feel as if they were in the Hampton’s. We made our way to a state-ofthe-art entertainment Mecca called Frank Theatres CineBowl & Grille. This new 70,000-square-foot entertainment complex has twelve FDX 80-foot movie screens with surround sound, 3D and IMAX technology and comfortable red leather rocking chairs. There is also a bowling alley in the same building with 16 bowling lanes, 340inch flat screens (that hover over the lanes) and a redemption arcade with
video and prize games. But you can’t bowl—or watch a movie—on an empty stomach. That’s why the Frank family opened The Red Brick Grille, an American restaurant with outside patio, two bars, exotic cocktails, specialty martinis, craft beers and liquor. “It’s a one-stop shop,” said Bruce Frank, president and CEO of Frank Entertainment Companies. “We had to treat it like a supermarket which
1234 ATLANTIC AVE. DELRAY BEACH
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means having everything people want to satisfy their entertainment needs.” Bruce Frank, President and CEO of Frank Entertainment, is living the dream that his grandfather began over a century ago. “It has been a longtime vision to bring this concept to fruition and we anticipate tremendous success in this growing area,” said Frank, who credits his late father, Alvin Frank, with much of his company’s success and strong business acumen.
HEADING WEST TO THE NEW FRONTIER J
BURT & MAX’S
ust a few yards away from the Delray Marketplace is another gem. Called Burt & Max’s Bar and Grille, this contemporary American restaurant is just what the doctor ordered. Burt & Max’s is chic and sexy with an excitement that diners crave. Designed by Pam Manhas, of Manhas Design, it has recycled barn wood, industrial lighting amidst a sea of earth tones. The expansive outdoor patio gives one a West Coast feel with East Coast flair. There are two bars, a fire pit lounge, tropical landscaping,
dining areas and a wood burning grill. If you know Rappoport or Max then you know that you can point to anything on the menu and fare well. There are small plates, such as Sesame-Seared Yellowfin Tuna and Short Rib Empanadas, salads, soup, Butcher’s Blend Burgers, the Farm House Burgers and Blackened Mahi. We also loved the Wood Fired Pizzas with Oak Grille Chicken or Blackened Shrimp and Roasted Tomatoes. Entrées include Free Range Roasted Half Chicken, Grilled Creekstone Farms NY Strip,
9089 W. ATLANTIC AVE. DELRAY BEACH Southern Fried Chicken and Waffles. Their “Eat Well. Be Well” menu offers gluten-free and low-caloriel options. There’s live entertainment Thursday and Saturday nights, a jazz brunch on Sunday, a nice clear sky and peace and quiet any day or night of the week.
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localMATTERS 290 E. ATLANTIC AVE. DELRAY BEACH
ITALIAN DELIGHT T
VIC & ANGELO’S
he folks at Vic & Angelo’s, with locations on Atlantic Avenue in Delray Beach and at PGA Commons in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, are dedicated to serving superb, rustic Italian cuisine to legions of loyal diners. The indoor and outdoor seating, at the tables and in the bar areas, allow patrons to enjoy both Mother Nature’s pristine gifts and delicious, inventively prepared dishes. “Our menu items transform the American approach, to fine Italian dining, while paying homage to the authentic culinary traditions of Italy. We traveled the world looking for the greatest dishes and the finest ingredients for our customers. Whether it’s from New York City or from Italy, we take pride in only importing the freshest products and ingredients for our cuisine,” said owner, John Rosatti. This gifted restaurateur, and his talented general managers (Diego Nasissi in Delray Beach, and James Diggs in Palm
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Beach Gardens) and executive chefs (Erick Miranda and Alain Zimmer, respectively), work in concert to make sure that every meal, at their restaurants, is both enjoyable and distinctive. For starters their bread is hot, crusty, and divine. Their sauces are made with San Marzano tomatoes imported from Naples, Italy, and their pizza dough is made with an age-old recipe with water imported from New York. Their signature dishes are prepared with precision and generosity of spirit. Some favorite starters include the signature Old School Kobe Meatball, which is served with San Marzano tomato sauce, whipped ricotta cheese, peppers, and fresh basil. There are ten, yummy coal-fired pizzas, which are cooked in a 900-degree oven, which guarantees a perfectly crispy crust and the perfect bite every time. Popular entrees include roasted Branzino; veal scallopine with sweet pea risotto and garlic broccoli rabe;
veal and/or chicken picatta, with artichoke hearts, capers, white wine, and lemon butter sauce. Vic & Angelo’s also offers a swell selection of fresh fish, along with a nice array of creative salads that have an inventive flair. Both locations feature an ambiance that is warm and friendly, with a subtle elegance and refinement. Their Venetian chandeliers, brick walls, mahogany floors, and upbeat, modern bar areas provide guests with the feeling of a big city, while retaining the tradition of rustic Italian dining. We believe in the traditional Italian dinner, where everyone comes together to feast. So, we invite our guests to sit down, relax, and enjoy their food and conversation with family and friends,” notes Rosatti. Vic & Angelo’s serves lunch and dinner, daily, and offers Happy Hour, Monday through Friday, at both the indoor and outdoor bars. Brunch is served on Saturday and Sunday.
localMATTERS 201 E. ATLANTIC AVE. DELRAY BEACH
GOING TO THE OFFICE
here’s always a buzz at The Office, the modern American gastro pub that specializes in serving delicious gourmet comfort food on Atlantic Avenue in Delray Beach, Florida. The open-air walls and doors make The Office a place to enjoy wonderful house-made dishes and watch the best show on earth—people walking by throughout the day and evening. The owner of The Office is talented restaurateur and entrepreneur John Rosatti, and he really knows hospitality—he also owns both Vic & Angelo’s restaurants and BurgerFi. Mr. Rosatti, General Manager David Panella, Chef Omar Montoya and their expert staff, ensure that every meal is memorable. Some of The Office favorites are still on the restaurant’s terrific new menu. We are continuing our “casual-meets-refined” concept by serving a wide array of innovative dishes—from mouth-watering fresh fish and seafood,
to juicy steaks and burgers, as well as inventive salads and sandwiches. They are all creatively prepared by Chef Omar,” said Rosatti. The Office is well known for their fresh juicy burgers and veggie burgers, but Chef Omar also knows how to
Sea Bass Tacos
wow a crowd with a wide variety of new innovative dishes, such as The Office Ceviche, comprised of corvina in a mixture of fresh lemon and lime juice
and yellow chilies; Tempura-fried Sea Bass Tacos with whipped avocado. “Our new menu items have an infusion of flavors, textural diversity, and elements of Asian and Southwestern cuisine that tantalize the taste buds of diners,” said Panella. The Office also has an upbeat and happening bar area—inside and out— that serves 39 craft beers on draft, 25 wines by the glass, and 90 wines by the bottle. The Office Happy Hour, from 3–7 p.m., features 50 percent off of all drinks (wines by the glass, bottle and draft beer, and cocktails) at both of the indoor and outdoor bars, along with a pre-selected Happy Hour bar menu. The Late Night Happy Hour, from 10 p.m.–close, also features 50 percent off of all drinks—inside and out. The Office serves lunch and dinner daily. The bar is open until midnight, Sunday through Thursday, and until 2 a.m., on Friday and Saturday evenings.
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TIME TO SEE THE SEA Chefs Emeril Lagasse and Blake Malatesta
he West side of Delray Beach is fun but nothing beats the endless water, beckoning sunrises and sunsets, and the ocean air at the restaurant 50 Ocean. If it doesn’t sound familiar that’s because this relative newcomer has made its home atop the famed Boston’s on the Beach. The food is exotic, the panoramic views enthralling and the floor to ceiling windows leave way for a dreamers paradise. That’s why celebrity Chef Emeril Lagasse picked it as a hot spot to highlight on his TV show, “Florida’s Beaches & Waterfront Restaurants.”
40 S. OCEAN BLVD. DELRAY BEACH
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localMATTERS We just happened to have a front row seat to the viewing of this episode that featured Emeril and 50 Ocean Chef, Blake Malatesta. We watched as the two foodies created delectable dishes and mouth watering meals. We sampled some of the food that Chef Malatesta cooks up in his kitchen at 50 Ocean. The Caribbean French Toast was world class, the omelets hypnotic
and the Eggs Florentine was wonderful. We washed it all down with Bellinis, Mimosas and Bloody Marys from their Bloody Mary Bar (it’s a tough job but someone has to do it). Chef Emeril Lagasse is the chef-owner of 13 restaurants, hosts a cooking show on the Food Network and is the food correspondent for “Good Morning America.” Chef
Blake Malatesta kept up the pace and brought a Southern flair to this Sunday morning fete. Emeril’s Florida TV series started in January on the Cooking Channel and finished in February. We all sat in the distinguished Hemingway Lounge that is punctuated by original photos of the literary giant and comfy seating.
THE GREAT COVER-UP EVERYTHING BUT WATER
e were invited to the opening of a new store in The Gardens Mall called Everything But Water. This retail store knows that women don’t relish the idea of trying on bathing suits in tiny cramped quarters, so they took the pain out of this process. The bathing suits are beautiful and sexy, the customer service is awe-inspiring, the accessories match those of celebrity stylists and the cover-ups, sarongs, dresses and tunics are sophisticated, colorful and elegant. We loved the native beaded necklaces, wide cuff bracelets and the animal print caftans that were more works of art than simply a piece of cloth. They were the perfect antidote to a less than perfect figure. Everything But Water also has large comfortable dressing rooms, complimentary personal shoppers and also hosts shopping parties for friends, bridal parties and other occasions. To celebrate the opening of their new 1,566-square-foot store, Everything But Water gave shoppers island-inspired drinks and a votive candle with every purchase. We love this pristine white enclave of all things beachy and island like.
3101 PGA BLVD. PALM BEACH GARDENS
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THE BOOK OF LAW T
emple Beth El in Boca Raton hosted a fundraising luncheon on Friday, March 2nd with guest speaker Alan Dershowitz, for people in the community to discuss the Nuremberg Trials, a series of trials for major war criminals during World War II, with key attorneys in the area. The luncheon also celebrated the return of the “Blue Series,” a record of trials of the Nazis at
Nuremberg after World War II. These books, worth thousands of dollars, contain years of history and were almost thrown away. The event raised almost $50,000 for Temple Beth El’s Torah Project. In conjunction, the Book of Leviticus—The Torah’s Book of Law, was dedicated in honor of the lawyers of our community.
M 3667 120 TH AVE. S. WELLINGTON
an (and woman for that matter) cannot live on food alone. So we headed to the International Polo Club in Wellington where the pretty people, the European studs (I mean players) and graceful horses prance at the speed of light in the name of finishing first. The International Polo Club of Palm Beach may be close in miles, but its miles away in sentiment. Bo Derek hit the red carpet for opening day (yes, she is pretty, but oh so pulled and puffed), Metier sold hats from Ecuador in the VIP Pavilion and there was enough food to feed a third world country. Its fun to watch the beautiful people, but the Divot Stomp at half time is always a great time for all. That’s when everyone hits the field in their finest clothing and hats, and gets to stomp on the grass. There’s champagne and ice cream center field until everyone scurries to their places to watch the second half of the game. The four-month polo season in Wellington is one of the greatest Sunday pastimes in Palm Beach County.
GAME OF STICKS POLO IN WELLINGTON
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FACTS ABOUT YOUR TEETH
REGENCY COURT DENTISTRY By Dr. Naved Fatmi 561.998.0727 Regency of Woodfield 3003 Yamato Rd, Boca Raton, FL
1. Food like celery, apples, pears, and carrots trigger lots of saliva which helps wash away food debris on your teeth. More saliva is better overall for your teeth. 2. Tea vs. coffee: Tea consumption makes teeth staining harder to remove. 3. You should replace your toothbrush at least every three months, and always after you have an episode of flu, cold or other viral infections. Notorious bacteria can implant themselves on toothbrush bristles leading to re-infections. 4. Tooth enamel is the hardest substance in the human body. However, we do not recommend that you use your pearly whites to open bottle caps.
5. The standard advice to “see your dentist twice a year’ was actually invented by an agency for Pepsodent toothpaste! Your dental professional should recommend the correct schedule for your current dental hygiene needs. 6. Over three out of four people in the United States suffer from some form of gum disease. It is the leading cause of tooth loss in people over age 35. The good news is, in most cases gum disease can be prevented or controlled! 7. Brushing with baking soda can cause minute abrasions on your teeth, which may be more prone to having stains adhere to them. 8. Many diseases are linked to your oral health including heart disease, osteoporosis and diabetes. 9. If you get a tooth “knocked out” put it in milk and hold it in your mouth, this helps the tooth survive; See a dentist immediately. 10. Durring pregnancy, your teeth and gums are more susceptible to cavity-causing bacteria, due to higher hormone levels. Higher bacteria levels can cause infection that can spread throughout your body and could lead to preterm labor or other complicatiaons.
HAIR LOSS CAN BE DIFFICULT. 85% of men experience hair loss at some point in their life—they are
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where age is an attitude
where age is an attitude