Page 1

FRIDAY • MAY 18, 2012




U of C depositing $1 mil into community banks Jennifer Standish Associate News Editor After a meeting in February between senior administrators and student advocates over its investment practices, the University is depositing a total of $1 million into four community banks, a move that promises to benefit local businesses and homeowners. Hyde Park Bank, Urban Partnership Bank, Seaway Bank and Trust Company, and Illinois Service Federal Bank each will receive $250,000 from the University’s operational budget, the highest amount that the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation will insure on non–interest-bearing accounts. Unlike investments, which are expected to produce rev-

enue over time, these deposits represent “a practical and responsible solution in furthering the University’s commitment to Hyde Park and the surrounding communities,” according to a statement from Assistant Vice President of Student Life Eleanor Daugherty and other administrators. Daugherty was among several senior administrators who met with four students about the University’s investments. Engagement with community banks was raised as an issue. “The money that the University ultimately has decided to transfer to these institutions will make it easier for them to give out loans of this nature— mortgages, loans to small businesses—in the South Side of BANKS continued on page 2

Dog day afternoon Second-year Heather Yee plays with Snowball, one of the dogs brought in Wednesday for Wellapalooza, a student wellness fair that featured food, dogs, crafts, drumming, health checks, and free bicycle tune-ups. JAMIE MANLEY | THE CHICAGO MAROON

Students prep for NATO action at panel sponsored by administration

(From left) Kevin Ho, Shenaz Mansuri, and Evelyn Dehais (AB ’09) review ways that students can avoid violent confrontations while safely experiencing the NATO summit during a poorly-attended panel discussion Tuesday. JULIA REINITZ | THE CHICAGO MAROON

Ben Pokross Associate News Editor A panel of activists and lawyers discussed the realities and repercussions for protesters in light of this weekend’s NATO summit, in an event hosted on Tuesday jointly by SG and the administration. The panel, called “My Voice, Demonstration and Activism in the Time of NATO,” featured practical, as well as more theoretical reflections of attorneys and

members of the Occupy movement. “Coming on the heels of the Occupy movement, I think it’s going to be fascinating what’s going to happen over the next week with NATO,” said panelist Shenaz Mansuri, a former civil rights attorney and current manager of the U of C Public Interest Program. She stressed ways in which protesters could avoid violent confrontations with police that could



78° 57°

85° 62°



81° 59°

68° 48°


lead to arrest. “Your goal is to be heard, and you’re not going to be heard if you’re being pepper-sprayed or dragged on the ground,” Mansuri said. Panelists were mixed in their advice to potential protesters about how to avoid injury, some offering safety tips while others emphasized common sense in the face of unfair laws. Occupy press liaison Evelyn Dehais (A.B. ’09) suggested that protesters, NATO continued on page 2


The limits of a “practical” education » Page 4

An imperative outside ourselves » Page 4

City brings shielded bike lanes to 55th Stephanie Xiao News Staff Hyde Park is about to get a lot more bike-friendly. One mile of bike lanes will be added to 55th Street from Cottage Grove Avenue to Lake Park Avenue early this summer as part of the Chicago Department of Transportation’s (CDOT) Streets for Cycling Plan. Protected bike lanes, located next to the curb and separated from traffic by a median or a parking lane, will be installed from Cottage Grove to Dorchester. Along the narrower section between Dorchester and Lake Park, buffered bike lanes, outlined by heav-

ily painted lines, will be installed between parking lanes and traffic. South Side resident and active cyclist Howard Zar, who co-leads an advisory group for the Streets for Cycling Plan, pointed to safety concerns as a main motivator for the expansion of Chicago’s bike lane network. “Many people don’t ride bikes in the city because they’re wary of injury, so we hope that if bike lanes are installed, current bikers would be safer, and people who don’t like biking now would be encouraged to ride,” Zar said. City traffic data show that 55th Street only serves

about 15,700 cars each day, compared to the 165,200 cars that pass through the busiest segment of Lake Shore Drive daily. Along with wider-than-necessary travel lanes, that relative emptiness encourages recklessness and speeding, according to the CDOT website. With the addition of bike lanes, 55th will undergo a lane reduction, ultimately reducing the prevalence of dangerous driving practices without considerably increasing traffic congestion, Zar explained. President of the U of C Velo Club and fifth-year graduate student Jesse Williams offered support for BIKES continued on page 2

Steep divide at polls between grad schools Tiantian Zhang News Staff Graduate students were a force in this year’s Student Government (SG) election, turning out in far greater numbers than they did in 2011. The 803 graduate students from across the University who voted comprised about a third of participation overall—significantly up from the 258 who voted last year. But voting data also shows

stark contrasts among the graduate student body, with certain divisions appearing deeply invested in the outcome of SG elections, and others seeming not to care at all. The fact that second-year Law student Renard Miller was on the ticket for SG President boosted voter turnout among his peers: nearly half the Law School voted, its 330 ballots making up for 41.2 percent of total graduate participation. “I shook most of the hands in

Law School,” Miller said. Public Policy graduate students also gave a strong showing, with about 27 percent of their number casting their ballot. However, participation in certain divisions amounted to barely a couple dozen students, and to even fewer in others. In the School of Social Service Administration, for example, just seven out of 491 students voted. And in the Biological Sciences Division, only three stuVOTES continued on page 2


Hot off the University of Chicago Press » Page 6 Love of the Loveless reissue » Page 6



“The money that goes into our bank goes directly into the African American community,” says local banker BANKS continued from front

Chicago,” fourth-year Eliot Abrams, one of the students at the meeting, said. Although the move is not a first for the University—it previously has deposited $100,000 in Urban Partnership Bank— administrators considered the possibility of stepping up its efforts after they were approached by Abrams and three others in the fall. Originally, Abrams and fourth-year Nakul Singh, who both serve on the Senior Class Gift Committee, suggested that the Class of 2012’s gift be a deposit into a community bank. Although the committee supported the idea, it seemed unfeasible at the time, prompting Abrams and the others to consider a University deposit. At the end of winter quarter Daugherty, along with Chief Financial Officer Nim Chinniah, Vice President of Community and Civic Engagement Derek Douglas, Treasurer Lorraine Arvin, and Associ-

ate Vice President of Finance John Kro, met with the four students and began researching their proposals. “We presented a list of four community banks as the idea of the types of institutions that we felt the University should move some funds to, and laid out an argument as to why it would be beneficial to different groups that have a stake in the University for the University to put some funds into these banks,” Abrams said. Administrators then investigated the University’s own banking needs, which typically are far larger than any smaller institution can handle, and weighed them against each bank’s ability to support its community. “[The deposits] will help fund loans and other products and services to people in underserved and often neglected groups, whether it be a job training program or an after-school program,” said Brian Berg,

Senior Vice President and Director of Corporate Communications at Urban Partnership Bank. Norman Williams, chairman of the board and chief executive officer of Illinois Service Federal Savings and Loans, said that the deposits will allow small businesses, churches, and families to take out loans that would normally have been difficult for them to acquire. “The money that goes into our bank goes directly into the African American community,” he said. “The community needs help, I’ll tell you that much.” Fourth-year and deposit advocate Caitlin Kearney believes that this approach at community outreach also allows the University to help the community without being invasive or interfering. “Oftentimes the University might not have the best of names with some community members,” she said. “It’s really allowing autonomy around

these decisions that the banks make.” The benefits of U of C depositing in community banks are not limited to economic growth in the community, according to Kearney. “We see this process not only as the University transferring funds to community banks, but building a deeper relationship with the South Side banking structure, the city of Chicago as a whole, appeasing alumni who would like the University to be doing good public deeds, and appeasing students who would like the University to be using their money in a socially conscious manner,” she said. The University will join the ranks of other academic institutions, such as Harvard University, Macalester College, Duke University, and Seattle University, that have used the local banks in their community. —Additional reporting by Joy Crane

Biological sciences division has lowest turnout with three voters VOTES continued from front

dents, out of 456, cast their vote. Sapana Vora, a fifth-year Ph.D. candidate in cancer biology who did not vote this year, attributes the department’s low participation to a perceived lack of SG impact. “BSD [biological sciences division] grad students don’t feel any SG decisions will affect their graduate careers in any meaningful way,” she said. “BSD grad students enjoy much closer access to committee and departmental administrators who make and implement academic policy very relevant to graduate careers.” Many of the graduate divisions

have their own governing committees, though each is organized differently. The Medical School elects three to four representatives for each class to the Dean’s Council in fall quarter. “[The] Medical school is an isolated community. We have our own student government,” said Marcus Dahlstrom, a fourth-year Pritzker School of Medicine student. Thirty-four of Pritzker’s 386 students voted. The flip side of that isolation—personal connections to the people running for office—may have been a draw for voters in other divisions. Graduate liaison–elect Kathryn Hagerman, a student at the Center

Cyclists hope that 55th Street will be safer BIKES continued from front

new bike lanes while highlighting the extent of unsafe road practices on 55th Street. “There is definitely a fine line between safe riding practices, which many people in Hyde Park don’t follow, and drivers not being aware of the cyclists, which is surprisingly common. Regardless, however, the Velo Club is in full support of increasing the number of bike lanes on the South Side, as it is currently severely deficient,” Williams wrote in an e-mail. The entire Streets for Cycling infrastructure plan is projected to cost approximately $32 million in federally-funded grants over the four-year-span of its implementation. Almost 30 non-metered parking spaces will be removed with the addition of bike lanes, according to the Hyde Park Herald. Lee Crandell, Director of Campaigns at Active Transportation Alliance, also attested to the widespread benefits of an increased bikeway network, pointing to statistics from other large cities such as New York City and Portland, Oregon, where the installation of bike lanes have led to significant reductions in bicycle accidents.

“More people will have the option to bike, which is great for the city because riding a bike makes people healthier. It helps reduce diabetes. It’s good for the environment. It’s good for the economy,” Crandell said. The 55th Street bike lane project is only one of many that Chicago is sponsoring to increase the availability for greener transportation options around the city. In addition to the implementation of a citywide bike-sharing program, bike lanes have already been installed as far north as Division Street in Humboldt Park and as far south as 103rd Street. At a January 2011 press conference, Mayor Rahm Emanuel promised 100 miles of bike lanes by the end of his four-year term. As of Wednesday, the marker of his first year in office, only 6.5 miles of bike lanes have been installed. To Crandell, however, the wait will be worth it. “The streets should be welcoming to all kinds of people whether they are eight years old or 80. Anybody should be able to ride their bikes through the streets of Chicago without having to worry about their safety,” Crandell said.

for Middle Eastern Studies, pulled in voters from her dual disciplines in the Harris School and the division of social sciences. “Most of the people in Middle Eastern studies voted because Kathryn is running,” said Nadia Qazi, a first-year CMES graduate student. Of the 1,289 students in the social sciences division, 82 voted. Vice President–elect for student affairs Yusef Al-Jarani, a first-year in the College, said he hopes to reach out to those who are less involved. “Connect will work extensively with leaders from different divisions to raise more awareness of SG,” he said.

Hyde Park Bank on 57th Street is one of the four local banks into which the University has deposited $250,000 to spur local economic growth. DARREN LEOW | THE CHICAGO MAROON

Occupy rep urges empathy for cops NATO continued from front

in addition to taking practical precautions such as going with a friend, should attempt to understand the mentality of police officers. “There’s going to be a lot of confusion and fear on their side,” she said. “The police are human beings.” At the same time, fourth-year Occupy organizer and panelist Kelvin Ho stressed that he could not be too prescriptive in offering advice of how to act at a march. “We try to inform people of the consequences of various actions,

not that they are illegal, because the laws are illegitimate,” he said. Class of 2014 Representative Grace Pai, who attended the event, noticed the low student turnout. “I think that it’s unfortunate that more students didn’t care,” she said. Despite apparent student disinterest in the panel, Pai said it inspired her to partake in the NATO protests. “Coming to an event like this really encourages me to participate,” she said. “I thought that it provided a different perspective on NATO: Why go?”

Navigating NATO As world leaders descend on McCormick Place this weekend to debate the finer points of military strategy and fiscal policy, Chicago residents from Rogers Park to Calumet Heights will have to cope with road shutdowns, CTA delays, and the closure of the Shedd Aquarium, among other inconveniences. Between Hyde Park residents looking to get downtown, or staff and students living far off campus, commuters can avoid a traffic nightmare with some advance preparation. The El All El lines will remain operational over the weekend. However, CTA officials have cautioned rail commuters to expect delays, since every train passing through McCormick Place will need to stop momentarily for security checks. Metra Metra service will be erratic, with a number of stations closed on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Carry-on luggage, including backpacks and large purses, will not be allowed on board any Metra trains for all three days. Food and liquids also will be prohibited. Visit for details. The following stations will be closed from Saturday, May 19 through Monday, May 21: • 47th Street (Kenwood) • 27th Street • McCormick Place • 18th Street • Museum Campus/11th Street —Harunobu Coryne

Additional Metra stations will be closed on Monday only: • 111th Street (Pullman) • 107th Street • 103rd Street (Rosemoor) • 91st Street (Chesterfield) • 87th Street (Woodruff) • 83rd Street (Avalon Park) • 79th Street (Chatham) • 75th Street (Grand Crossing) • 63rd Street CTA Bus Starting at 12:01 a.m. on Saturday, Lake Shore Drive will be closed between East 39th Street and East Balbo Drive until Monday evening. Several routes will be redirected throughout the weekend, with northbound and southbound 6 buses diverting onto side roads south of Balbo Drive. On Monday, the X28 will also be redirected. Route details can be found at Bikes and pedestrians Lake Shore Drive’s bicycle and jogging paths will also be off-limits over the weekend.



Weekly Crime Report

By Rebecca Guterman

University’s first “Peace Week” dovetails NATO summit

This is a series the Maroon publishes summarizing instances of campus crime. Each week details a few notable crimes, in addition to keeping a running count from January 1. The focus is on crimes within the UCPD patrol area, which runs from East 39th to 64th Streets and South Cottage Grove to Lake Shore Drive. Here are this week’s notables :

Since Jan. 1

May 10 May 16






Attempted robbery









Criminal trespass to vehicle



Damage to property


Other report


Simple assault




Trespass to property

» Friday, 64th Street and Cottage Grove Avenue, 4:06 p.m.—UCPD officers noticed a vehicle that was implicated in robbery and theft in the area. They arrested two males and recovered stolen property.

Source: UCPD Incident Reports

S. Hyde Park





59th 60th



For the University’s first Peace Week, artists and activists joined with speakers and student groups for a series of movie screenings, talks, and installations about a few of the most pressing global issues of the day. The events, which took place from Monday through Thursday of this week, centered on the question, “What do you want your world to look like?” At the head of the long retinue of service RSOs was advocacy group Invisible Children, which gained instant Internet fame earlier this year with its viral campaign against the use of child-soldiers in East Africa. “We hope to raise awareness of the issues that the participating RSOs are working on, and to encourage the student body to think about which issues or causes they are passionate about, and how they can do something about it,” said third-year Ayn Woodward, president of the campus chapter of Invisible Children. Berardine Dohrn, who leads the Children and Family Justice Center at Northwestern University and is a professor of law there, was one of the first speakers, addressing juvenile incarceration. Her organization provides

counseling and representation to minors, and researches legal issues. “These events are perfect opportunities for students to learn about different social justice issues and how RSOs are responding to them and how students can get involved,” Woodward said. Global Water Brigades (GWB) organized an exhibit on Ryerson Quad, incorporating used plastic bottles and statistics on clean water scarcity in the developed world. Alongside Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) and PAWS, an animalrights advocacy group, GWB organized Peace Week’s final event, an evening talk with Pamela Bozeman-Evans, founder of the service-internship organization Summer Links, in the McCormick Tribune lounge. Bozeman-Evans addressed health-care accessibility for residents of the South Side, and offered advice to the leaders of service groups. She stressed how important it is for service organizations to engage with the people they are attempting to help. “They must be co-partners with you,” she said. Andrew Hong (A.B. ’ 11), who heads the non-profit Emancipate North Korea (ENoK), had high praises for the discussion. “She was very helpful and taught us how to reach out to everyone,” Hong said. “Not just people who we know emotionally.”


Stony Island

Anthony Gokianluy News Staff

» Wednesday, 5300 South Dorchester Avenue, 2:12 p.m.— A battery victim who reported the Tuesday incident to the Chicago Police Department told UCPD he saw the suspect in their area. UCPD arrested the individual and turned him over to Chicago police.


Cottage Grove

Second-years Bill Steuben and Julia Goldsmith-Pinkham paint images of peace during an event on the quads hosted by Global Water Brigades, PAWS, and Students for Justice in Palestine for Peace Week. JAMIE MANLEY | THE CHICAGO MAROON

» Monday, from 55th to 58th Streets, from Woodlawn Avenue to Ellis Avenue, 4:50 to 5:05 p.m.—There was a power outage to which UCPD responded and restored power later that day.

S. Lake Shore


» Saturday, 54th Street and Ridge188 wood Court, 1:08 a.m.—Four male 3 suspects, one with a handgun, approached four men walking on the 209 sidewalk and stole property from them. 4 Some of those items were later found in the alley by Madison Park and 47th Dorchester and returned to the Chicago Police Department.

Type of Crime

*Locations of reports approximate

Food (In)Security Series Access, Equity, Frameworks

Governance & Accountability Emily Alpert Senior Policy Manager, Agriculture, ONE Scientist, USAID Bureau for Food Security; former Julie Howard Chief +LW\[`*VVYKPUH[VYMVY+L]LSVWTLU[-LLK[OL-\[\YLPUP[PH[P]L Tuesday, May 22nd

5:30-7:30 PM

Swift Hall, 1025 E. 58th Street


Details & Registration at At the 2009 L’Aquila G8 Summit, the G8 countries pledged $22 billion to “take urgent action to eradicate hunger from the world.” Soon after, a new US global hunger and food security strategy, Feed the Future, was created to put into practice the Principles for Sustainable -VVK:LJ\YP[`0U[OLÄUHSL]LU[VM[OL Food (In)Security series, Emily Alpert and Julie Howard ^PSSHZR!>OH[HYL[OLYLZ\S[ZHUKSLZZVUZMYVT[OPZM\UKHTLU[HSS`KPɈLYLU[HWWYVHJO[V NSVIHSZLJ\YP[`&(UK^PSS[OLWYVTPZLZTHKLH[[OPZ^LLR»Z.Z\TTP[H[*HTW+H]PKIL LUV\NO[VLUZ\YLH[YHUZWHYLU[HUKHJJV\U[HISLMVVKHUKU\[YP[PVUZLJ\YP[`PUP[PH[P]L& THE CENTER FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDIES




BEYOND THE HEADLINES h t t p : // c i s . u c h i c a g o . e d u / w b h


Editorial & Op-Ed MAY 18, 2012

View of the summit NATO events offer unique opportunities for students to think and engage with Chicago The student newspaper of the University of Chicago since 1892 JORDAN LARSON Editor-in-Chief SHARAN SHETTY Editor-in-Chief COLIN BRADLEY Managing Editor DOUGLAS EVERSON, JR Senior Editor SAM LEVINE Senior Editor HARUNOBU CORYNE News Editor REBECCA GUTERMAN News Editor GIOVANNI WROBEL News Editor EMILY WANG Viewpoints Editor AJAY BATRA Viewpoints Editor CHARNA ALBERT Arts Editor HANNAH GOLD Arts Editor TOMI OBARO Arts Editor DANIEL LEWIS Sports Editor VICENTE FERNANDEZ Sports Editor MATTHEW SCHAEFER Sports Editor BELLA WU Head Designer KEVIN WANG Online Editor ALICE BLACKWOOD Head Copy Editor DON HO Head Copy Editor JEN XIA Head Copy Editor JAMIE MANLEY Photo Editor LINDA QIU Deputy News Editor CELIA BEVER Assoc. News Editor MARINA FANG Assoc. News Editor

As you certainly know, the 25th summit of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) will be held at McCormick Place this weekend. Those in attendance will include President Obama and representatives from over 60 countries. Coverage of the event by both the Chicago press and the University has largely focused on how to change transportation plans, be safe in a protest, and even what to wear while picketing. What hasn’t really been discussed is what NATO does, the significance of the summit being held in Chicago this year, or what stake students themselves have in it. Whether you plan on spending the weekend protesting downtown or on getting drunk at Summer Breeze, there are numerous ways to both be aware of and get involved with what’s happening just a few miles from campus. The North Atlantic Treaty Organization, formed in 1949, is a military alliance that provides mutual defense for 28 member nations, all from North America

and Europe. Since its inception during the Cold War, NATO has evolved into a more active force on the world stage; most recently, the organization’s power has been felt in Afghanistan and Libya. Issues on the summit’s agenda this year include NATO’s relationship with Afghanistan during and after deployment, how it can sustain itself given the financial crisis in Europe, and how it can improve relations with its partner countries. Given NATO’s primary role in military spending and action both home and abroad, the summit has historically attracted protest regardless of its location. This weekend is no exception, with protesters from the Occupy Wall Street movement, for one, already arriving in large numbers. Chicago is bracing itself for the worst, as evidenced by the closure of companies in the Loop, reinforcement of buildings with bullet-proof glass, and even the advising of employees on how to blend in with protesters. If you

are considering taking part in protests, use the buddy system. Be sure to have a concrete plan of how you will get to the summit or protest area, how you will get back, and what you will do in the case of an emergency. There are, however, productive alternatives to marching downtown. Scheduled events throughout the city include a Counter-Summit for Peace and Economic Justice, a public forum with reporters and media activists on press coverage of NATO, various arts and music events, and even volunteering opportunities. The Seeds of Peace kitchen, for example, is organizing Food Not NATO, an effort aimed at supplying food for activists all week. Protest can also take the form of a letter or an op-ed addressed to city leaders or publications. Lastly, simply educating yourself about the event and its significance is a worthwhile pursuit. Many take the meeting’s presence this year in Chicago—the first American city outside of Wash-

ington, DC to host a NATO summit—as a sign of the city’s global stature. Students should take this as a reminder to pay attention to the city they live in; for the next week, that’s what the world will be doing too. While the summit has the potential to impact major foreign policy decisions and perceptions of the US throughout the world, it will also impact perceptions of Chicago. In short, the possibilities for participation are numerous and diverse, and go beyond hitting the streets. The University and students should take the summit as an opportunity to think about what channels for public voicing exist and why such voicing is important in the first place. No matter your political views or level of interest in the summit, do your own thinking and be aware of what this weekend means for Chicago.

The Editorial Board consists of the Editors-in-Chief and the Viewpoints Editors.

BEN POKROSS Assoc. News Editor MADHU SRIKANTHA Assoc. News Editor JENNIFER STANDISH Assoc. News Editor DAVID KANER Assoc. Viewpoints Editor EMMA BRODER Assoc. Arts Editor ALICE BUCKNELL Assoc. Arts Editor SCOTTY CAMPBELL Assoc. Arts Editor DANIEL RIVERA Assoc. Arts Editor SARAH LANGS Assoc. Sports Editor DEREK TSANG Assoc. Sports Editor

The limits of a An imperative “practical” education outside ourselves The University’s intellectual tradition trains students to ask the right questions, solve big problems

An elite education is more than a means to an end—it imparts a moral obligation

JAKE WALERIUS Assoc. Sports Editor SYDNEY COMBS Assoc. Photo Editor TIFFANY TAN Assoc. Photo Editor TYRONALD JORDAN Business Manager VIVIAN HUA Undergraduate Business Executive TAMER BARSBAY Director of Business Research VINCENT MCGILL Delivery Coordinator HYEONG-SUN CHO Designer SONIA DHAWAN Designer ANDREW GREEN Designer ALYSSA LAWTHER Designer SARAH LI Designer

By Ajay Ravichandran Viewpoints Columnist


The Chicago Maroon is published twice weekly during autumn, winter, and spring quarters Circulation: 5,500. The opinions expressed in the Viewpoints section are not necessarily those of the Maroon. © 2012 The Chicago Maroon, Ida Noyes Hall, 1212 East 59th Street Chicago, IL 60637 Editor-in-Chief Phone: 773.834.1611 Newsroom Phone: 773.702.1403 Business Phone: 773.702.9555 Fax: 773.702.3032 CONTACT News: Viewpoints: Arts: Sports: Photography: Design: Copy: Advertising:

Most of the columns I’ve written for the Maroon have dealt with national politics, but preparing to leave the place which has been my home for the past four years has led me to spend some time reflecting on the U of C and its future. Anyone thinking about this topic right now will inevitably consider the ongoing debate over the switch to the Common App, as well as other recent policy changes designed to attract students who want to go to college mainly in order to improve their job prospects. Is the shift away from a tradition of concerning ourselves primarily with the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake—which these moves seem to prefigure—a disturbing betrayal of our core purpose as an institution, or a necessary accommodation to social realities? I certainly can’t hope to survey all of the relevant issues here, but a look back at some of the most valuable features of my own college experience leads me to think that, if the University were to deemphasize disinterested intellectual inquiry at the expense of pre-

professional education, something important would be lost. One of the most prominent aspects of the education I’ve received at the U of C is my sense that, while every school I’ve attended has taught me new facts, only here have I been exposed to new ways of thinking that have altered my understanding of what problems mattered and which questions could be asked. For instance, I used to think that the only important moral question in debates over economic inequality was how to balance the ideal of equality against the need to provide the wealthy and talented with incentives to work. But then I took a political philosophy seminar in which we examined the late G.A. Cohen’s argument that if justice requires a significantly more egalitarian distribution of resources, then people who make that just distribution impossible by refusing to work more than a certain amount unless they receive unequalizing incentive payments are themselves subject to moral criticism. This experience not only exposed me to a specific philosopher’s view about inequality but also enabled me to consider a question that I otherwise couldn’t have even framed. While many other colleges (and other types of institutions) can doubtless play the same role, I think several of the University’s characteristic features make it uniquely suited to do so. Most obviously, we’re generally evaluated here not EDUCATION continued on page 5

By Adam Gillette Viewpoints Columnist The fourth paragraph of the Kalven Report reads, “A good university...will be upsetting.” How true that is. Have you read this newspaper in the last couple of weeks? By way of summary, I present these buzzwords: Kalven Report, Senior Gift Committee, Students for a Socially Responsible Investment Committee, divestment, neutrality, and on and on the list goes. I promise I’m as weary of the back and forth on these specific issues as you are, and so I’m trying to move to more general points as quickly as possible. I believe some things need to be said about the underlying premise of what it is we do here, and I’d like to challenge our understanding of the relationship between elite education and morality. A couple weeks back, one finely written and well-argued opinion submission to the Maroon, in which the writer favored the University’s “neutrality” in investment decisions, voiced a concern that troubles me deeply. The writer argued that, were the University to release itself from

adherence to that neutrality, the discussions over where to invest the U of C’s money could become “ferocious.” His word. What’s wrong with that? (You may envision another five or six question marks for emphasis.) God forbid our faculty and administrators have to apply themselves to heated, contentious discussions on the merits of expecting a return on an investment in Darfur or West Virginian strip mining. I imagine a scene in which a historian, a mathematician, a biologist, and a philosopher debate not only the University’s moral compass, but also whether to send money in the direction it points. The idea pleases me not because I like dramatics, but because it strikes me as a process worthy of the world’s sharpest minds. Isn’t that, in some way, why we all came here—to be challenged, to have the sort of discussions that are hard, in which maybe there is no right answer, but at least a better one? And yet, when it comes to the University’s money, all of that is tossed aside. Why? Because if Robert Zimmer takes a stand on one side of the issue or another, Botany Pond will turn to blood and a host of locusts will overtake the Reg. And this, I submit, is what is so goddamn reprehensible about this whole thing. It stamps a University seal of approval on ignoring the outside world, on looking to it and then deciding to take no action. In turn, we constituents of the UniMORALITY continued on page 5



A call to action (hero) With temperatures and crime rising, Hyde Park needs a superhero—and you could be the one to don the mask

By Matt Walsh Viewpoints Columnist If you’ve been reading my column regularly, you’d think that literally all I write about is trash cans. “Trash cans this, and trash cans that,” you’d say to mock my writing. And you’d be right! Had this been a week like any other, the column you’d be reading would have been entitled “Oscar the Grouch Enters Wuthering Heights: A Modern Take on Frame Stories.” But then, last night, I saw The Avengers. And HOT DAMN, my eyes were opened. I Hulk-smashed the earlier draft of my column and Tesseract-ed this new column into existence. It’s well known that crime rates in Hyde Park increase in the spring. And I don’t mean to simplify the complexity that is the study of crime and violence on the Southside. But wait, yes I do: We need a superhero. Superheroes stop crime, and, if The Avengers is anything to learn from, also aliens. (But not you, Vargas; you’re cool in my book). So, really, all bases are covered. That’s why you, Loyal Reader, should become Hyde Park’s superhero. Justifying my decision for calling upon you to become a superhero is far less important than deciding what kind of superhero you’ll be. When I phoned the Viewpoints editors in a sort of mania last night, they agreed to bring me all five of the pre-

quels to The Avengers if I would “just step away from the window, please, nobody can really fly like Thor, no matter how big the hammer is.” I then spent the next ten to twelve hours devouring the movies. From them, we’ll decide what kind of superhero best fits Hyde Park. First, the name. Most of the heroes in The Avengers have names that suit their characters. Iron Man is a man in a metal suit. The Incredible Hulk is incredibly hulking. Black Widow, presumably in the sequel, will mate with Hawkeye and then eat him alive. Captain America is an American soldier. Because I don’t know what you look like or what your background is or what special skills you have, I don’t have much to base your name off of. Though I do know that you’re probably somewhat affiliated with the University, so I propose…Gargoyle, inspired by our beautiful and brooding Gothic architecture. Other options, I suppose, are Phoenix or The Maroon Fist, but I prefer Gargoyle. For your suit, you’ll have to appear grotesque and bulky. You’ll wear a mask with sunken eyes and an open mouth with blunted, menacing teeth. You’ll have large ears and small curved horns. Instead of a cape, your suit will have wings, and you’ll be able to fly. Well, in the Buzz Lightyear sense. You’ll have full body armor with padding to make you look brawny—not that your hours in the library and on the internet haven’t given you an athletic physique. You’ll be a creature of the night, striking awe and fear into the hearts of all who see you. Your specific powers will depend a great deal on your individual skills. Because your ability to fly is more of an ability to glide,

I recommend setting up a gargoyle nest at the top of a tall tower, like Rockefeller Chapel or the Theological Seminary. That’ll also be a good place from which to observe the goings–on of Hyde Park. Flying, however, will be your only suit–specific power. Relying on your suit for additional powers would require the engineering expertise necessary to build said suit, and, ha(!), U of C isn’t exactly a mecca for skilled engineers. My final recommendation is to stay true in some way to the nature of a gargoyle. Gargoyles are meant to divert rainfall off of a roof and away from the walls of a building, because otherwise the rainfall would cause the exterior of the building to erode. So if you know of a way to harness the power of water, definitely do that. It would be utterly fitting. But remember, when it comes to powers, customize to your particular skills! You’ll amaze. By this point, I’m sure your imagination has taken hold of this idea. You’re ready to take to the streets and depress the increasing crime rate. You could only have one possible concern: stepping on my toes. But don’t worry about that. I’m too emotionally invested in the idea at this point. I wouldn’t be able to detach myself from the idea of the superhero enough to effectively implement the crime-fighting. I’ll remain as the brains behind the operation, the Nick Fury to your Avenger. Oh, one last thing, a catchphrase. Rest easy, citizens of Hyde Park, for Gargoyle is the stony face of Justice. Take to the night, Gargoyle. Matt Walsh is a third-year in the College majoring in economics and political science.



Students can make the U of C’s legacy about more than freshwater economics and the atomic bomb MORALITY continued from page 4 versity aren’t challenged by the University’s actions, and we don’t have to search ourselves for what we believe is right or wrong. We condone the University’s moral laziness and so cement our own. Understand that I have no illusions about changing the University’s moral outlook or engagement. If the University of Chicago guiding the world by moral example sounds like a bad joke, that’s because it is. To the casual observer, the University’s most important gifts to the world have been the economics of Milton Friedman and the atomic bomb. I say we can be even greater products of this place. We should be. We are not the

University. We are better than it. To some of you, this will all sound so blatantly obvious as to not merit printing. Thank you, truly, for understanding what is paramount about our education, and apologies for the redundancy. To others, this may seem laughably naïve or un-nuanced, and it is that crowd for which I’m writing. You are my friends and classmates, and what I am trying to convince you of is that the world needs you to care and care deeply. There is no nuance about this. There is something to be said for neutrality when it’s appropriate (ask the Swiss, maybe). But just as we came here to prepare for achievement in the humanities or sci-

ences, we came here so we might learn to be the best thinkers of our generation. So know this: There is no more important function of an elite education than to ready us to decide between right and wrong. The world recognizes a talent as great when the skill it represents is applied with excellence. If you want to take your particular combination of intelligence and education and use it to be a wealthy banker or renowned lawyer, fine. That doesn’t bother me. But what is morally criminal is deciding that your professional excellence excuses you from engaging with the world outside your own, that your own solipsistic reflections and self-interests are most important, and

that it is up to someone else to be involved with society at large. We self-aggrandize as the hardest working and sharpest thinking young adults in the world. So, I’m asking you to put your mind where your mouth is, and direct your attentions outside yourself. If we are so smart, if our education has the worth we say it does, we must rise to the near-impossible challenges of repairing this world and leading through public engagement. This is the moral imperative of an elite education. Live accordingly. Adam Gillette is a fourth-year in the College majoring in history.

The U of C is too good at promoting purely academic inquiry to continually move away from it EDUCATION continued from page 4 just on our ability to assemble facts or apply a problem-solving algorithm, but also on our understanding of the framework of ideas that structures the study of any given subject. Furthermore, the presence of other students who value intellectual inquiry and a university culture that emphasizes its importance facilitates such reflection as well. Whatever other virtues pre-professional education, or any other form of “practical” education (education aimed at some specific end other than greater understanding), might have, it creates powerful obstacles to shaping students in this way. Because the approach in question is designed to achieve a particular end, institutions which employ it will attach very little (if any) importance to the question of how to think about which ends are worth pursuing; therefore, the sorts of wide-ranging ethical inquiry pursued by many humanists and social scientists will get short shrift. While abstract empirical and mathematical

investigations might fare a bit better, few students are likely to develop the inquisitive and intellectually curious mindset they require at a university which places heavy emphasis on the economic benefits of education. These issues are especially serious because the type of intellectual activity in question is quite difficult (as any U of C student can attest) and conflicts much more sharply with our natural inclinations than even the prudent concern with one’s long-term wellbeing—a concern which presumably motivates students with pre-professional interests. Therefore, even moderately strong discouragement is enough to dissuade most people from pursuing this type of intellectual inquiry. This suggests that giving equal priority to education for economic success and education for critical reflection is unlikely to work. But why does the sort of learning I have in mind matter so much? Why should University administrators, who justifiably fear irrelevance in an increasingly consumerist so-

ciety that attaches little value to intellectual pursuits, fight for it? One important reason is that the development of new modes of thought is among the key forces that drive social improvement. Many of the features of our culture that we most value, from the use of reliable scientific methods to the widespread belief that each person has equal moral worth, emerged not by finding new answers to preexisting questions but by changing the questions we asked. Without a way of teaching at least some people how to do this, it will be much harder to deal with the many serious problems we face. And while it would be silly to expect every educational institution to play this role—pre-professional instruction certainly has its place, as do many other types—it would be just as misguided to prevent one of the universities which plays it most effectively from continuing to do so. Ajay Ravichandran is a fourth-year in the College majoring in philosophy.

SUBMISSIONS The Chicago Maroon welcomes opinions and responses from its readers. Send op-ed submissions and letters to: The Chicago Maroon attn: Viewpoints 1212 East 59th Street Chicago, IL 60637 E-mail: The editors reserve the right to edit materials for clarity and space. Letters to the editor should be limited to 400 words. Op-ed submissions, 800 words.


Trivial Pursuits MAY 18, 2012

Hot off the University of Chicago Press Arts editors and staff review books that have recently been published or distributed by the U of C Press Alice Kaplan’s newest book, Dreaming in French, shadows the Paris years of three iconic American women—Angela Davis, Susan Sontag, and Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy. All three studied in Paris at some point during their twenties, before they were hounded by photogs and cherished for their intellectual, cultural, and political pursuits. Through many good, glossy details, Kaplan tries to exaggerate the impact that Paris had on each woman and to somehow connect their stories through a shared experience of early expatriatism. Unfortunately, Dreaming in French is like a live man dipped in silver paint standing on a silver box and doing the robot on some crowded New York

City street, or a hapless accordion player performing a Vaudeville tune near Notre Dame. It is, at times, a cheap and cheesy headscratcher of a show that only a tourist could love. However, if you’re just looking to make a scenic literary pit stop along the trajectory of these women’s lives (and there’s absolutely no shame in that), then Kaplan’s book, for all its aesthetically pleasing tidbits and je ne sais quoi psychological analysis, will prove quite satisfying. The book begins with snapshots of a young Jacqueline Bouvier (well before Kennedy and Onassis), who spent her junior year (1949–1950) in France’s capital, apparently honing her use of French idioms and taking in the city by night. These earlier

The 1925 novel God Head, written by Leonard Cline. COURTESY OF NORTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY PRESS

descriptions are rich and rewarding to read, but the threads that tie these experiences to Bouvier’s time in the White House are often weak. The influence of the Paris study-abroad experience on Sontag is the flimsiest of the three. Sure, she may have registered for classes at the Sorbonne, but she didn’t go to any of them (her thoughts on graduating from the University of Chicago, which she had attended just before, were, “I go to Europe in fifteen months—just get my BA and run!”). At twenty-four, she was not quite as young as the other two, and, in a sense, had experienced significantly more, at least in terms of adult responsibility. She set off for Europe, not only to put her more rigorous studies on hold, but also to escape her failed marriage with academic Philip Rieff, with whom she had a son. Finally, we get what is essentially the life story of Angela Davis, who in 1963 participated in the Hamilton College Junior Year in France through her alma mater, Brandeis University, where she concentrated in French. It was there, Kaplan argues, that she connected the French-Algerian conflict to the United States Civil Rights struggle, which, at the time, was becoming increasingly powerful and violent. This part of the book was very well done and the link between Davis’s early exposure to international struggles for equality and her later status as one of the best-known communist intellectuals of her time was

apparent. A fair warning, though— the romantic cloud on which Dreaming in French so delightfully floats may prove too fluffy for your taste. Kaplan’s overemphasis on the beauty of these women was especially distracting at times. It isn’t any bother to learn that when Angela Davis took out her cigarette all the young Parisian men in the area would jump up for a chance to light it. It is, however, problematic that Kaplan seeks again and again to idealize, through a blend of physical, intellectual, and emotional attributes, each of the women she documents. Bouvier, in particular, can seemingly do no wrong, and Kaplan’s incessant imaginings of who Jackie may have met at parties she is documented as having attended and exactly which future editor of the Paris Review she may have danced with are as dull as they are sycophantic. Kaplan writes in her conclusion that, “If there is anything common to all three, it was beauty, a theatrical way of presenting themselves in public that was both as performance and protection.” This hyperbole of the women’s good graces and elegant personalities is enticing at times, but often alienating in its disingenuousness. Kaplan, with her abundance of false, yet genuinely pleasant, idealism, acts as easily excited voyeur to these three women’s intense and intricate lives, passing off as a single, unforgettable French meal, what is, in fact, a moveable feast. She packs light


for this analytic journey and doesn’t stay long in one place. Perhaps this is why the resulting work is languorously lush as a day spent awash in coffee and cigarettes and gooey as a chocolate éclair. —Hannah Gold

“I, being a coward and an idolater, am a brave man… There is in me the heart of masterdom,” muses Paulus Kempf, the protagonist in the 1925 novel God Head by Leonard Cline. Only just this month re-released by Northern Illinois University Press and distributed by the University of Chicago Press, God Head tells a superficially simple story that can be summed up in a few sentences on the

book’s front flap, but which has a thrillingly dark psychological underside and a masterful writing style that compels the reader to enter the labyrinthine cave of Kempf ’s mind. The novel opens with Kempf hiding on a mountaintop, alone and desperate, a fugitive from the law after attempting to incite a labor rebellion. He peers over the edge—but his desire for “life, eager woman, rich-veined girl that I had adored so barrenly” forces him to move on. After wandering in a delirious haze, he finds himself under the care of a peasant girl and her bear of a husband, eking out a rustic existence on the shores of Lake Michigan. And so Kempf withdraws from all society, from his failed past as surgeon, artist, and revolutionary, and recuperates PRESS continued on page 7

Love of the Loveless reissue Peter Ianakiev Senior Arts Staff Loveless, My Bloody Valentine’s sophomore studio album, first released in 1991, is a triumph of sound over song. More than any other pop/ rock album I can think of, it is an experience. Indie rock offers few (if any) pleasures greater than listening to Loveless on headphones and allowing oneself to get battered by its guitars; if a record has ever dealt in soundscapes and not just songs, it’s this one. That’s why the news of the album’s long-awaited reissue, complete with two different remastered versions, is such a big deal. First, the bad news: There’s not much difference between the two versions. Nor do these remasters reveal very much new about the album itself. If you hated it or thought it was

boring before, the new versions are extremely unlikely to change your view. That said, they do sound noticeably louder than the original, and, with a record like Loveless, that matters a lot. The recording packs a greater punch and, as a consequence, you’re likelier to hear and appreciate slight details in it. It won’t make a convert out of you, but if you loved the original album, then you definitely owe it to yourself to check out the reissue.

LOVELESS (REMASTERED) My Bloody Valentine Insound Vinyl

On to the album itself. It’s hard to write about Loveless, much less de-

scribe what it sounds like, without repeating well-worn clichés or coming off as horribly pretentious. Most descriptions of it focus on its “swirling guitars” and “hypnotic vocals.” There’s the joke that parts of it sound like whales having sex (it is more accurate to say that it sounds like what people who have no idea what whales having sex sounds like would think it sounds like). Of course, there is a reason for this. Loveless is an incredibly overwhelming record; when listened to at a high volume (as it should always be), it’s easy to lose oneself in it, become hypnotized by the vocals (buried in the musical mix, making the lyrics impossible to decipher), and focus on the rumble of the guitars. It sounds like hundreds of guitars are being played at the same time, but this is mostly due to the efLOVELESS continued on page 9

Family portrait of My Bloody Valentine band members. COURTESY OF CREATION RECORDS



At Schubas Tavern, the perks of being a discerning hipster Eliana Polimeni Arts Staff On a warm Tuesday night, Allo Darlin’, an indie pop band based in London, performed an intimate, yet highly energetic, concert at Schubas Tavern in Lakeview. My relationship with Allo Darlin’ formed rather inorganically: My friend insisted that we go to a concert, but he refused to go to any concert that other people we knew would go to because God forbid we be too mainstream. After a considerable amount of time spent digging through the most hipster of hipster music sites, he found a band that was both relatively unknown and to his liking (because, on top of everything, he is also inordinately picky). And, thus, my quest to learn all of Allo Darlin’s songs commenced. But maybe his irrational preferences came to some good; I was hooked by the first song I listened to. Their captivating lyrics paired with ukelele, bass, drums, and guitar created a unique and interesting sound. The venue complemented the band nicely; it was small, quaint, and understated. Schubas Tavern had a bar and a restaurant in front, and a stage in a room in the back. It was covered in posters advertising upcoming shows, one on every day of the month. When we got there, the opening act, The Wave Pictures, had

The London-based indie pop band Allo Darlin’ briefly set down their bass, drums, guitars, and ukeleles to laze about in some tall grass. COURTESY OF FORTUNA POP!

just begun playing its set. As one member drummed on a cowbell, the lead singer self-deprecatingly described the last time this England-based band came to America to perform. He said that they

played in a bar as background music, literally, as their entire audience had their backs turned to them and disregarded their presence completely. I couldn’t really tell why, until they played a song

with the particularly profound lyrics “wild hair tumbling from the center of your skull like spaghetti.” Shortly after they cleared the stage, Allo Darlin’ took their

places. The concert was so casual that they tuned their own instruments and had a small pow-wow on the side of the stage before they started playing. They startALLO continued on page 8

In Andrew Balmford’s new book, a wildly optimistic hope for conservation PRESS continued from page 6 among these otherworldly immigrants. In spite of the distinctly American setting, the story seems unfamiliar, utterly removed from the confines of normal, everyday life. As time passes, Kempf ’s thoughts and musings do not grow any clearer. He learns of Finnish mythology from his hostess and, using a creative gift that his hosts lack, applies these myths to his own

life. He identifies himself with heroic characters, and draws from their stories the seeds of thought which bring the novel to its climax. Cline has given Kempf a sly storytelling voice, mixing everyday events with his simmering inner thoughts so that, when Kempf describes what has happened, they read almost as mythology. Half the novel’s appeal lies in reading about the Conradesque descent of Kempf ’s mo-

Andrew Balmford’s new book Wild Hope by the University of Chicago Press. COURTESY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO PRESS

rality. The other is in his elaborate word constructions, filled with symbolism from Finnish myth and Kempf ’s own actions. His long monologues, both spoken and internal, scattered with ellipses, myth, and tumultuous phrasing, reflect the agitation, the growing destructive energy, in Kempf ’s mind. “I am Lemminkainen,” he announces solemnly at one point, “In time I shall get into my boat and sail away to the island of the loverless maidens and there I will love them all.” But this speech is not a symbol of madness, though it may seem like lunacy to the Finns; Kempf is merely sharing with them his intent to follow the course of the mythic rogue Lemminkainen and mold the story for himself. In assuming the identity of Lemminkainen he changes the interpretation of the myth to fit his own experiences, including, ultimately, the seduction of his host’s wife, Aino, and his eventual domination over the simple villagers. The progression of Kempf ’s character, from a recuperating invalid to a domineering, selfpossessed, fearless man, is told through his increasing hostility and contempt for his host, his growing lust for Aino, and the shedding of his previous inhibitions and fears which drove him to flee from his past lives. His words and his actions all belie the inner life

that we, as readers, are privy to: his morbid thoughts on immortality and life; his right to mastery. —Angela Qian

When I was told that the Maroon’s Arts section was doing a feature on the University of Chicago Press, and that for my review I’d get to pick any book I wanted from their year’s release schedule, I felt a little overwhelmed. Check out the U of C Press website— to say I had a lot of choices would be an understatement. There was Sergio de la Pava’s A Naked Singularity, which I’d been eyeing in bookstores for months. Or there was Christopher Kemp’s Floating Gold, a history of Ambergris and its transformative journey from whale feces to high-priced perfume. In the end though, it was Andrew Balmford’s Wild Hope, and its promise of an unpretentious examination of the fight to bring back what unchecked industrialization has taken, that won my attention. From reading the book’s subtitle—“On the Front Lines of Conservation Success”—I thought I knew what I was getting into when I cracked open Wild Hope. I imagined a feel-good read about saving dolphins from plastic six-pack holders and replanting trees

where entire forests once used to stand. But I was wrong. Wild Hope isn’t trite or cursory. As he takes us across six continents and the oceans that separate them, Balmford explores in amazing detail an array of overlooked wildlife and the people who’ve fought successfully on its behalf. Through a series of anecdotes and interviews transmuted into his own first person account, he makes apparent that the people who have dedicated their lives to saving the environment are just as important as the rich and dynamic habitats they seek to preserve. Never slow and not at all preachy, Wild Hope is selfaware and decidedly accessible in a way seldom seen in today’s conservationist discourse. At most I figured I’d finish Wild Hope knowing a little more about something of which I’d spent a bulk of my life knowing very little. But Balmford’s book did more—it successfully convinced me to care. He realizes the best way to bypass pity fatigue is to combat it with natural wonder; with stories of animals like the now-extinct gastric-brooding frog, which somehow turned off its production of stomach acid in order to swallow and thus protect its eggs until hatching time—this species, had it survived to our modern day, might have proved useful in future medical research on gastric imbalances.

When I told a friend about it, she scoffed: “I don’t do that feel-good schtick.” But according to Balmford, an attitude like that is part of the problem. “In trying to ensure that policy makers and the public at large appreciate the seriousness of the problem, maybe we’ve focused too much on the negative,” he writes in Wild Hope’s first chapter. “Perhaps in selling the bad news quite so effectively, we’ve overlooked the vital importance of believing there are solutions.” And indeed, Balmford’s book illustrates this concept globally. Anti-poaching policies in Assam have brought the Indian rhino back from the brink of extinction while encouraging economic growth for the area in the form of ecotourism. Working for Water, an organization started largely to remove alien species of plants from South Africa, has not only been successful in restoring natural fauna habitats but in providing work, health clinics, and general awareness for thousands of unemployed locals, as well. What is the essential commonality between the two successes? According to Balmford, a steadfast belief that neither situation was beyond help, that a conservationist’s most important asset and greatest hope is the individuals who call these threatened environments home. —Daniel Rivera









9 10



Do What You’re Told


11 12 13

14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27

28 29 30 31

Friday | May 18 The “Comics Philosophy & Practice Conference,” presented by the Richard and Mary L. Gray Center for Arts and In q u i r y a n d th e Me l l o n R e s i d enti a l Fellowship Program for Arts Practice and Scholarship kicks off this evening at the Logan Center with a presentation by Maus author Art Spiegelman entitled “What the %$#! Happened to Comics.” The talk is 45 minutes long and may or may not include verbal expletives. The conference continues on Saturday and Sunday with various panel discussions and lectures by graphic artists, art editors, and publishers ( including François Mouly, Ben Katchor, and Alison Bechdel). 915 East 60th Street. Begins at 6 p.m., free. Do you have something you’re dying to get off your chest ? Can you make it sound pretty? ArtShould, with the help of Catcher in the Rhyme and Crazy Cat Lady Café is hosting its premiere slam poetry and open mic night at Hyde Park’s own Third World Café, where you can see original work by children and adults of all ages, and—if you are brave of heart—get a word in yourself. Satisfy your literary and culinary cravings with free food and free Sliced Bread. 1301 East 53rd Street. 7–9 p.m., free. If you didn’t make it to last night’s free showing of TAPS and UT’s “A Weekend of Workshops,” fret not: You can still catch the performance at a very reasonable price tonight and tomorrow at Logan Center’s Theater East 127. Don’t miss four dramatic scenes and a musical, including

Sunday | May 20



tor joust, mechanical bull, and strawberry smoothies are a go. Cults, Neon Indian, and Luda(cris) alternately take the oncampus stage starting at 6 p.m. WHPK performs from 12–5 p.m. on the green grass of the quads under a blazing blue sky. This is just a friendly reminder and a projected forecast. Carnival starts at noon, $20 for concert, rest is free. Tennesse e Williams’s This Propert y is Condemned and an adaptation of Edgar L e e Ma ster ’s S p o o n R iv e r Anth ol o g y , directed and performed by your peers. 915 East 60th Street. 8–10 p.m., $6.

Saturday | May 19 Summer Breeze makes me feel fine. But this year it’s going to make me feel fucking fantastic because the sun is actually supposed to come out. Moon bounce, gladia-

Experience the crustacean pleasures of the Louisiana bayou at McGee Tavern’s 23rd Annual Headsucker’s Ball. The shell crunching begins in time for brunch with 2,000 pounds of fresh crawfish, sides of jambalaya, gumbo, and red beans and rice. Obviously, it’s an all-you-can-eat affair, and there will be a musical accompaniment to your feast: the Hurricane Gumbo band, specialists in zydeco, go on at 2 p.m. 950 West Webster Avenue. Starts at 10 a.m., $25 at the door, $20 in advance.

If y o u’r e g o i n g t o d r i n k b e e r, y o u might as well play mini-golf. Knock back Goose Islands as you slovenly putt at the brewery’s nine-course extravaganza, taking place at Fulton’s Barrel Warehouse. Because this event is so awesome it can’t even handle itself, tickets will not be sold straight out but will be raffled off online. If bad luck prevents you from teeing off, take comfort in the fact that you have 10 days of free to moderately priced beer at participating locations across the city ahead of you. 180 West Walnut Street. 11 a.m.–5 p.m., $40/pair of tickets.

G et your first taste of this season’s street food and everything that summer festivals have to offer. Today is your last chance to catch Mayfest, Lincoln Park’s celebration of all things that don’t require walls or roofs to enjoy (cover bands, freeflowing beer, suspiciously good wholeroasted corn cobs). This event is not to be confused with Lincoln Park’s Mayfest Chicago, which starts on May 31. It is completely different. Don’t let NATO keep you from enjoying the out-of-doors joys of downtown Chicago (though most bus routes that come into Hyde Park will be sig nificantly impacte d ). La ke view, North Ashland Avenue and Barry Avenue. Friday 5–10 p.m, Saturday and Sunday 10 a.m.–10 p.m., $10 suggested donation.

Allo Darlin doesn’t make just make music, they make their audience feel incredibly wonderful ALLO continued from page 7 ed off with several high energ y songs from both their new and old albums. Despite having to protect ourselves from a woman dancing rather shamelessly in front of us without regard for the placement of her thrashing limbs, we danced around to the beat of the music. The band created, through many

interjected self-deprecating anecdotes about themselves or their tour, an intimate environment. The lead singer, Australian-born Elizabeth Morris, played a couple of slow songs to which the entire audience swayed in unison to the strums of a single ukelele. Morris, in her sweet light voice, sang songs that resonated with emotion. One song in particular

she introduced as being about her hometown, Capricornia, also the title of the song. She sang that “the shadow of a midday sun burns beneath your feet and the old dogs are still sleeping in the street.” All of their songs have such vivid images, which she delivered flawlessly and articulately live. They closed the set with a song called “Wu Tang Clan,” specially

CLASSIFIEDS Classified advertising in The Chicago Maroon is $3 for each line. Lines are 45 characters long including spaces and punctuation. Special headings are 20-character lines at $4 per line. Submit all ads in person, by e-mail, or by mail to The Chicago Maroon, Ida Noyes Hall, Lower Level Rm 026, 1212 E. 59th St., Chicago, IL 60637. The Chicago Maroon accepts Mastercard & Visa. Call (773) 702-9555. TWO BEDROOM APT


View of Lake Mich. offstreet parking, central air, central alarm system, near public transportation metra and cta, new hardwood floors, quiet neighborhood. Landlord lives in rear coach house. 1-773-933-4985

All these apartments with hardwood floor, heat, water & hi speed internet included. 5602 S. Drexel---3 BR 1 BA , 1st FL $1,400 per month; 2nd FL $1,500 per month 5600 S. Drexel--- 4 BR 1 BA, $1,700 per month 5627 S. Maryland---1 BR 1 BA, Garden apt with utilities $550; 3 BR 2 BA, $1,700 per month; 4 BR 2 BA, $2,000 per month 5458 S. Dorchester---3 BR 1.5 BA, $1,700 per month; Please call Ed(ward) 773-241-6854 for appointment

5114 S KIMBARK 1BR APT 5114 S. Kimbark, Unit 2S, Attractive 1BR apt in well maintained bldg, lots light, hrdwd flrs, eatin kit, miniblnds, ceil fan, lndry on site. Great location $795.00 includes heat. Avail August 1, 2012, Jerry 312-608-1234

YOUR AD HERE advertise in the maroon ADS@CHICAGOMAROON.COM

5114 S KIMBARK STUDIO APT 5114 S. Kimbark, Garden front unit. Attractively remodeled small one (1) rm studio garden apt, in well maintained bldg, new hrdwd flrs, cabinet kitch, miniblinds, ceiling fan, laundry on site. Great location $585 includes heat Jerry 312-608-1234

requested by a female audience member as it was the only song that would put her six-month-old daughter to sleep. They left the stage but were quickly drawn back by the audience’s persistent applause. They played three more songs, including my personal favorite, “Tallulah,” and closed the show with a song that has never been released. This concert was so much more

than just music. Through the beautifully poetic lyrics, I got the sense that they were letting us in to their personal memories, vivid enough for us to reminisce with them. In a most endearing way, the lead singer invited the audience to talk to her after the show. The show left me feeling warm and fuzzy in the most stereotypically wonderful of ways.





Good doggy Iliya Gutin Senior Arts Staff Black tie? Check. Black Maybach? Check. Black Dog Gelato? Conspicuously absent from Jay-Z and Kanye’s list of excellent black objects. Mere coincidence, or measured conspiracy? Do they think you are unfit to have a Blueberry French Toast for the scumbags? Or is it that you have no place big pimpin’, eating that Goat Cheese gelato? Maybe they just don’t want people to know about some of the best damn Strawberry Champagne sorbet you ever had in your life. Well, if I were a famous and fabulously wealthy hip-hop icon, keeping this place under wraps (and out of my raps) is exactly what I would do. Then again, as an amateur food writer, keeping secrets from the public is not exactly a good idea. In fact, nothing should stop me, or you, from living that sweet gelato thug life.

BLACK DOG GELATO 859 North Damen Avenue 773-235-3116

Believe me, this was a dark secret churned vigorously within the gelato maker of my soul. Many, many months of conscientiously objecting to desserts at restaurants—mind you, neglecting my “professional” responsibilities—just so I could savor the flavor of this post-meal indulgence. This is no simple trip to a mom-and-pop ice cream shop. Something about that manipulation of fat and sugar ratios makes gelato somehow that much more conducive to interesting and creative flavors. Nor is this the fulfillment of some lingering childhood nostalgia—Mr. Softee can go air pollute some other corner of the city. Instead—domo arigato Mr. Gelato. And damn good gelato at that; a quality original in a world inhabited by the gelato equivalent of Fauxlex’s and Couch handbags. In other words, once you go Black Dog you can’t go back, dawg.

If you’ve seen or heard the name before it’s probably because Black Dog supplies some of the best restaurants in Chicago, that extra touch that brings their dessert menus to life. Whether it’s Japanese (Honeydew Sake sorbet for Arami); elevated diner fare (Root Beer Floats at Au Cheval); or whatever trendy genre Girl and the Goat subscribes to (Blueucheese gelato). You only need ask, and Black Dog shall deliver. Though, at their brick and mortar, in Ukrainian Village, a small (2 flavors) or large cup (3 flavors) will do just fine. Pints are also available, but best saved for the comfort of your Sex and the City marathon, mourning the tragic loss of your goldfish, or whenever it is deemed socially acceptable to use a pint container as a serving vessel. And while this may seem insignificant, I do have to add a comment on the importance of their “tasting” samples. At most places asking to try a flavor results in a microscopic swab of gelato that involves CSI-level trace analysis to discern, confirming above all else that the spoon is made of some plastic composite; at Black Dog, you get a nice, heavy-handed mound of gelato that actually helps to reveal the nuances and inform your final decision. And no one will judge you for multiple tastings. And multiples of multiples. But now I stand before you at a critical juncture; a spoon in the road if you will. I could literally fill up the rest of this review with nothing more than a giant list of flavors I have sampled, bringing back many a sweet, sweet memory in the process. Over 40 to be precise. And while you may be inclined to call me lazy, I assure you I would be doing the entire food world a huge favor by doing so. Good luck finding anything online beyond recurring shout-outs to Salted Peanut, Strawberry Balsamic, and Mexican Chocolate (all of which are ah-mazing by the way). In fact, in my hands, I hold what may be the most comprehensive compendium of their flavors available online; as an esteemed former governor so eloquently said, “I’ve got this thing, and it’s fucking golden.” So I’m not just gonna give it up for nuthin’. I will, however, leave you with some impressions. Generally speaking, there are two sides to the Black Dog tale. On the one hand, we find the classic, and even somewhat mun-

dane flavors expected from gelato. However, they are by no means designed purely to take up space. Salted Caramel, Pumpkin, Hazelnut, Espresso, Pistachio, even plain ol’ Dark Chocolate are all done with aplomb. The name matches the flavor; which means that Black Dog is not afraid to sacrifice sweetness in the name of integrity, such as the underlying savoriness or saltiness that naturally occurs in a caramel or brown sugar, or the bitter bite of coffee, certain nuts, and truly dark chocolate chips. Take Mint Oreo (or Thin Mint) for example—the bane of virtually any gelato/ice cream enthusiast—which somehow manages to be the perfect mix of refreshment, coolness and crunch instead of the sanitary sterility of Aquafresh. But Black Dog is also an exotic laboratory of “experimental” concoctions waiting to be tested on the unsuspecting public. And being a guinea pig never felt so good. Oh you mean like Chubby Hubby or Cherry Garcia? Get out of here and never look in my general direction. No, these gelati and sorbets are the perfect mix of campy and fancy, kitsch and class: Toasted White Sesame, Apple Cider Sorbet, Brown Butter Bourbon (like a glazed donut), Lemon Ginger (cheesecake anyone?), Ricotta Honey Apricot, Three Floyd’s Malt (we ’bout to get drunk off gelato), Pineapple Basil, Cinnamon Maple Pecan (for the few of us fortunate enough to have enjoyed French Toast Crunch cereal), Coconut Curry, Sweet Corn Lavender, Kiwi Honeydew (cool as a cucumber), Rum Raisin, Blackberry Cabernet (this is, literally, the distilled essence of a bottle of wine), and—probably my all time favorite—Orange Licorice with Dark Chocolate (which, if I closed my eyes and dreamed real hard, was a chocolate orange candy ball sans stupid choking hazard toy). The only downside to Black Dog is the incredible ease with which it can induce foodsnobbism. It’s a common phenomenon, really—you eat something so fucking good that it puts all other imitators to shame. The kind of food that puts you off eating anything inferior lest you sully your mouth or mind, or both. And Black Dog can certainly do that upon first lick (seriously, I dare you to try Café 53 and not assault the staff for their affront against the institution of gelato). For-

tunately, it is also the great equalizer; a place where both pauper and prince can indulge their inner fat kid. Luxury and quality are not defined by inflated costs, so you can come here after a tie-and-jacket tasting “collection,” or a complete and utter grease fest at a Korean fried chicken joint. Why eat dessert off a table (*cough* Alinea) when it can be had in the convenience of a cup? So, ice cream, froyo, soft serve, y’all best watch your respective thrones. While gelato may never hold the mass appeal of its cold colleagues, such crass commercialization would bring great dishonor upon any doj—sorry— gelateria. Its true calling resides in a higher realm of frozen delight. Crappy ice cream can take cover under a canopy of crushed M&Ms and hot fudge rivers; froyo can appeal to probiotics and Gossip Girl to justify its blandness; soft serve belongs in nursing homes. But when you are the true crème de la crème, you have a higher standard to uphold. Without getting too food-osophical on ya, there’s definitely a certain degree of craftsmanship and, dare I say, art that goes into making gelato: Be it the lusciously smooth texture, the pure and unadulterated clarity of flavor, the ingenuity of complementary ingredients or, better yet, all of the above. Perfection can be a heavy and burdensome crown but, damn, Black Dog wears it well.

5 out of 5 forks

...these gelati and sorbets are the perfect mix of campy and fancy, kitsch and class.

My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless has all the hallmarks of an iconic album LOVELESS continued from page 6 fects guitarist Kevin Shields is using and studio techniques. When faced with a distinctive, emotionally overpowering record, the rock critic’s unfortunate natural inclination is toward pompous description and grand declaration. In general, though, My Bloody Valentine is grouped with other bands like Ride, Slowdive, and Lush under the umbrella term “shoegaze.” For the most part, these bands each played their own brand of idiosyncratic dream pop. Story has it that the term originates in the English music press and refers to the musicians’ tendency to stare at their feet in concert in order to control the effects pedals, whose distorting effect is necessary to achieve the desired sound. What ends up making Loveless so special, even though it carries many hallmarks of the musical scene that birthed it, including songs that move

at a glacial pace to ethereal female vocals (which are occasionally in danger of sounding kind of like Enya, but never mind), is that it’s an incredibly visual and hallucinatory record. The guitars in parts of “I Only Said”—and I’m sorry, but there’s just no other way to describe it—sound like fucking waterfalls. I understand that, under most circumstances, the strings in “To Here Knows When” would sound cheesy and new-agey, but somehow, when combined with the sheets of distortion and noise that accompany them, they make me think that I’m flying. Perhaps the most remarkable moment on the whole album happens in its first three seconds; three distinct drum beats, and then the guitar kicks in, except, of course, it sounds nothing like a guitar. It sounds like, well, whales having sex. I don’t know, I’m embarrassing myself here. Just listen to the damn album. In my mind, I associate Love-

less with records like Miles Davis’s Bitches Brew (1970) and The Velvet Underground’s White Light/White Heat (1968). If you know enough about those albums, the scenes they come out of, and the musicians who made them, you can understand them as historical objects and come to know why they sound the way they do. But, still, every time I hear them, they sound incredibly new and vital. I never stop being amazed that somebody was brilliant enough to make them. Superficially, they sound like other albums, but, at their core, they are unique. Of course it’s quite possible you’ll hate the album or just think it’s weird. But, even then, I think, you’ll be forced to grant that it’s a genuine work of art, the product of an auteur with a bold and original vision. It might not make you feel like you’re flying, but I think you have to at least give me that much.

A pink guitar is the album art for My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless. COURTESY OF CREATION RECORDS



A baseless decision: NCAA gives ballplayers the shaft

By Sarah Langs Associate Sports Editor I’m not really a Maroons fan. I don’t think anyone roots for a DIII team the way one can root for a DI team. I grew up a California Golden Bear, rooting, crying, and cheering for my mother’s alma mater. I watched Cal baseball as they lost to Stanford, I mourned the loss of the Golden Bears’ seasons every year against USC. But when I chose to come to a DIII school, I knew things would be different. I didn’t expect to develop the same passion for the teams—and there was nothing wrong with that. When I was in sixth grade, the Golden Bears’ football team lost out on what was a no-doubt trip to the Rose Bowl. They were the second-best team in the Pac-10. Typically, the best team in the Pac-10 goes to Pasadena, but since USC was more highly ranked and headed to a BCS bowl, it was only logical that Cal head to the Rose Bowl. On the night of the selection show, however, there was a shocker. Instead of choosing the team from the conference that practically has an automatic bid to the bowl, the committee chose the Texas Longhorns. I remember seeing the words on the television screen and immediately beginning to bawl. I didn’t understand how a group of people could have dashed my hopes and dreams so quickly. From that moment on, I have hated the BCS system for being so arbitrary and cruel. If coach Jeff Tedford had allowed quarterback Aaron Rodgers to run up the score in the Golden Bears’ final game of the season, instead of being kind to their lesser opponent, they probably would have made the Rose Bowl. Now, here in Chicago, it happened again. When I first started covering the Maroons’ baseball season, I didn’t really care. I was much more interested in checking in on my Golden Bears. But as the season progressed, I began to find myself caring whether the team went on a winning streak or whether they dropped the second game of a doubleheader. I wasn’t quite sure what was happening—I didn’t know DIII teams could inspire passion, too—but I just went with it. So as I began to realize that a bid to the NCAA tournament was a legitimate possibility for this team, I

got excited. The more I examined the records of the other teams, the more sure I was that they would make it. When I woke up on Monday morning and checked the tournament field, finding the South Siders to be notably absent, I got that same sinking feeling as I did when I saw the words “Texas Longhorns” instead of “California Golden Bears.” I didn’t cry this time. It just doesn’t add up. The Maroons may not have started their season in any particularly impressive fashion, but the way they sustained momentum all year and were able to beat some good teams is admirable. When I saw they hadn’t made the postseason, I really could not believe it. I thought of the three games they took from Wash U in a big weekend series in St. Louis. I thought of their final game, a convincing win over an admittedly weak DI opponent. I knew they weren’t the best in the region—that accolade belongs to Wash U—but I really thought they were the second best. As I tried to piece together what had happened, I heard a few rationalizations that various members of the team had been provided with. Perhaps the most important place to start is to realize that Chicago was not eligible for a Pool A bid, as the UAA does not receive an automatic bid to the NCAA DIII tournament. This means they were left to be either a Pool B or C candidate. There were only two Pool B bids given, and both seem to have been awarded to teams that were independent of an automatic bid conference, but clearly deserving. For instance, I would not argue for a second against Wash U’s receiving one of the Pool B bids. When the final regional rankings came out, Chicago was second to the Bears in the Central region. Left in the big group of Pool C candidates, the Maroons seemed likely to get a bid. The night the bids were to be announced, listed Chicago in the top 7 teams that would very likely secure Pool C bids. In the projections, they were listed as a team that didn’t even generate a discussion, they were so much of a sure shot. So, why was Chicago left out even though they seemed like a shoo-in a few hours before the announcement? One of the first things I thought logical to investigate was strength of schedule. Maybe Chicago’s rigorous academic demands make it difficult to craft a strong schedule. I figured maybe the Maroons’ wins had been considered unimpressive. This, however, is simply not true. According to’s rankings, Chicago had the ninth-strongest schedule out of a list of 371 DIII teams. A weak

schedule was clearly not their undoing. Perhaps, then, it was precisely this difficult schedule that hurt the Maroons. By playing the tougher teams in their region, they were not able to accumulate an outstanding regional record. They went 19– 11 in their region, while Wash U went 25– 8, albeit playing a weaker schedule. Illinois Wesleyan, a team that some team members cited as a bit of a surprise entry into the tournament, went 25–14 in the region, but with a schedule weaker than Wash U’s. It appears that Chicago’s inability to reach the 20-win mark within their region may have hurt them. This idea that the Maroons did not have enough wins in their region is a logical enough explanation for their being considered lesser by the committee. But I don’t think it is enough. This system seems as messed up as the BCS. I think strength of schedule is a much more accurate factor in judging a team’s abilities than wins in their region. Or, at least, the two need to be considered together. If Chicago had played weaker teams in the region, they wouldn’t have had the ninth-toughest schedule, but they probably would have reached 20 wins. It seems like the NCAA is rewarding Wash U for crafting an easier schedule. Regional wins should not be considered as more important than strength of schedule. Of course, I don’t even know if this was the exact thought process on the minds of those who made the decision. But it is the only evidence I can find for why this deserving team was left out. It doesn’t seem fair to make this team wait until next year to show the NCAA just how wrong they were to leave Chicago out of the postseason. And, no matter how impressive their season is next year, there seems to be no guarantee that they won’t get passed over yet again. I think it might be time for Chicago to consider joining a conference that has an automatic bid to the tournament. Even if they can’t necessarily compete at the level to win one of those conferences, membership would add to their respectability. Then, when the time comes for the powers that be to choose teams for the tournament, Chicago would be more of a household name. The fact that I even had to propose that—joining a conference simply to make the team more well-known—shows just how flawed this system is. The NCAA needs to develop a more equal way to measure teams against each other. This ridiculously subjective selection process needs to be changed. The Maroons were its victims this year, and could be again.

Tang: This is “one of the most important matches of my college tennis career” W. TENNIS continued from back

will be able to sweep Johns Hopkins,” she said. “However, anything can happen, so we will need to be on our toes.” Even with Higgins back, Kung said she thinks Johns Hopkins will come out strong. “I’m expecting Hopkins to put up a good fight,” the co-captain said. “We had a few close matches last time in singles, so I wouldn’t be too surprised if that happened again.” The Maroons swept doubles in their last meeting with the Blue Jays and look to gain early momentum by doing so again.

“If we can come out strong in doubles like we’ve been doing at UAAs and regionals, then we’ll be in a great position to make our fourth straight final four appearance,” Kung said. Aside from the talent the Maroons possess, Chicago looks toward its high energ y and spirit to gain confidence. “Showing a lot [of ] team spirit is very important, and we’ve been stressing it during practice,” Kung said. “It shows that we’re united and that everyone is supportive of each other. I also think that being loud and cheering for each other not only helps us feel more confident, but can also

Have a Twitter? Follow us

be intimidating to other teams, especially during doubles.” For the first-years, this match will help develop their playing ability in a high-intensity environment. “Personally, I am very excited for this match. I enjoy playing high-ranked teams, because it pushes me to play to my highest level,” Tang said. “The fact that this match could bring my team one step closer to a national title does make it one of the most important matches of my college tennis career.” Doubles is scheduled to start at noon on Monday.


SOFTBALL Great Lakes Region Rankings Rank School 1 Illinois Wesleyan 2 Carthage 3 Wis-Eau Claire 4 Chicago 5 Augustana 6 Elmhurst

Record 33–6 (29–5) 32–6 (29–5) 30–10 (26–6) 23–9 (17–8) 25–13 (16–10) 25–14 (15–10)

Win % .846 .842 .750 .719 .658 .641

Batting Average (UAA) Rank Player Kaitlyn Carpenter 1 2 Gena Roberts 3 Amanda Genovese 4 5

Brittany Grimm Marianne Specker

School Chicago Case Western Brandeis

AVG .419 .419 .417

Brandeis Brandeis

.415 .401

Hits (UAA) Rank Player 1 Brittany Grimm 2 Amanda Genovese 3 Marianne Specker Kaitlyn Carpenter 4 5 Gena Roberts

School Brandeis Brandeis Brandeis Chicago Case Western

Hits 61 60 59 57 54

Runs Batted In (UAA) Rank Player 1 Brittany Grimm 1 Marianne Specker 3 Megan Light 4 Jessica Boni 4 Lauren Wolz

School Brandeis Brandeis Emory Emory Case Western

RBI 41 41 39 38 38

BASEBALL Central Region Rankings Rank School 1 Washington (MO)

Record 28–12 (25–8)

Win % .700

2 3 4 5 6

22–12 (19–11) 26–13 (22–12) 28–11 (24–9) 23–15 (21–15) 21–11 (19–8)

.647 .667 .718 .605 .656

Chicago Illinois Wesleyan North Park Coe St. Norbert

ERA (UAA) Rank Player School 1 Max Zhang Washington (MO) 2 Claude Lockhart Chicago 3 Michael Rielly Washington (MO) 4 Josh Suvak Case Western 5 Mike Bitanga Emory

ERA 0.69 0.88 1.10 1.66 2.13

Strikeouts (UAA) Rank Player 1 Paul Schwendel 2 Connor Dillman 3 Jarrett Gish 4 Jamie Hora 5 Stephen Bonser

School Emory Emory Case Western Case Western Washington (MO)

Ks 92 76 59 51 46

Wins (UAA) Rank Player School 1 Jamie Hora Case Western 1 Connor Dillman Emory 3 Claude Lockhart Chicago 3 Paul Schwendel Emory 3 Stephen Bonser Washington (MO)

WIns 8 8 6 6 6

MEN’S TENNIS UAA Standings Rank School 1 Emory 2 Washington (MO) 3 Case Western 4 Carnegie 5 NYU

Record 22–0 (3–0) 17–6 (2–1) 15–8 (2–1) 13–8 (1–2) 10–7 (1–2)

Win% 1.000

.739 .652 .619 .588



4–6 (2–1)




6–15 (0–3)




5–14 (1–2)


WOMEN’S TENNIS UAA Standings Rank 1 2 3 4 4 6

School Chicago Carnegie Emory Brandeis Case Western Washington (MO)

Record 12–1 (2–0) 18–4 (1–1) 17–5 (2–1) 15–5 (2–1) 18–6 (1–2) 15–8 (2–1)



9–6 (1–2)




0–12 (0–3)


and get connected.

Win% .923 .818 .773 .750 .750 .652


One Last Chance as South Siders battle for National spots Women’s Track Katie Burkhart Sports Staff The Maroons headed to the North Central Last Chance meet in Naperville yesterday—their last invitational before the DIII Championships in Claremont, California. The competition concludes this afternoon. The meet is a last chance for athletes still hoping to qualify for NCAA Nationals. As such, the South Siders can expect this meet to bring more competition than their most recent string of more relaxed post-conference meets. “This meet will be very competitive,” third-year Vicky Espinoza said. “With people trying to qualify for Nationals and make last improvements for the end of the season, there will be a lot of great runners to compete with out there.” The most anticipated Maroon performances will be those that make or break National-qualifying positions. Going into Thursday, three South Siders in particular hoped to secure spots at Nationals. Fourth-year Sonia Khan, ranked 39th on the national honor roll in the 10,000-meter heading into the meet, failed to achieve a national qualifying time in the event Thursday night, where she finished fifth. Third-year Kayla McDonald, currently ranked 38th in the nation in the 800-meter, is looking for just over two seconds to make it in to the top 20, while fourth-year Paige Peltzer—who sits joint 21st on the national honor roll—hopes to secure a spot in the high jump. For other Maroons, Last Chance provides an opportunity to improve among the most talented athletes in the nation, leaving much incentive for high performance on the track—or, in first-year thrower Kelly Wood’s case, on the field. “I definitely expect competition to be pretty tough, because most of the athletes are looking to qualify for Nationals,” she said. “For me though, this is a great opportunity to see athletes performing at a higher level and to see what proper form looks like.” Espinoza, set to compete in the 3,000-meter steeplechase, is similarly focused on her own development at Last Chance. “I may not be making it to Nationals, but I feel like I still have a bit more to give to the event,” she said. “I hope to see an improvement in my time, especially with such great competition.” However, regardless of the meet’s outcome, the Maroons hope to end the season on a positive note. “All in all, we did our best this season and had a lot of memorable track and field performances throughout the year,” second-year Luyi Adesanya said. The team also hopes to make Last Chance a special meet for the team’s graduating fourth-years, as it will be the last collegiate track meet for many of them. “There are a couple of girls who can either get into or close to the national meet depending on this weekend, and a number of people who are competing to get personal bests,” third-year distance runner Julia Sizek said. “Most importantly, though, this is a great opportunity to recognize our seniors, who sometimes seem like our siblings and/or parents at the end of the year.” For Peltzer, Last Chance will be a combination of competitive pressure to achieve a national standard and the sentimentality of saying goodbye to her team. “I think for the seniors, this last meet together will be a special moment in our career here at UChicago,” she said. “I look forward to being with the team, competing one last time.” The North Central Last Chance continues today at 3 p.m.

Second-year Jenny Porter leaps over a hurdle at the Chicagoland track meet earlier this season. COURTESY OF DAVE HILBERT

Women’s track



IN QUOTES “I can’t really tell you what the problem was, but some Hot Stuff got misplaced. It was on his shoulders and evidently—I don’t know how it got to where it got, but it was uncomfortable, to say the least.” —Nationals Manager Davey Johnson, explaining Stephen Strasburg’s subpar pitching Tuesday afternoon.

In Elite Eight, Chicago looks to ground Blue Jays Women’s Tennis Alex Sotiropoulos Senior Sports Staff Chicago looks to extend its national tournament run on Monday with a win over Johns Hopkins in the quarterfinal in Cary, NC. Monday’s match will mark the fourth straight quarterfinal appearance for the Maroons. “Johns Hopkins is a very strong team,” first-year Megan Tang said. “They have a full lineup with a lot of high-level players, and they should not be taken

lightly. If we want to beat them, we will all need to play to the best of our ability.” Although Chicago beat Johns Hopkins, 6–3, on March 3 at the ITA Indoor Championships, lineup and mentality changes have since affected both teams. In their last meeting, Johns Hopkins was 0–2 on the season and sat out their regular No. 3 singles player, Nandita Krishnan, a junior. The Maroons were without No. 1 singles and doubles player,

fourth-year Kendra Higgins. Because of her absence, fourth-years Carmen VacaGuzman and Jennifer Kung played No. 1 doubles, first-years Kelsey McGillis and Megan Tang moved up to No. 2 doubles, and third-year Linden Li played No. 3 doubles with first-year Maggie Schumann. With Higgins back in the lineup, Tang said she hopes the Maroons win by a large margin. “Hopefully, with the addition of Kendra this time around, we W. TENNIS continued on page 10

2012 NCAA Division III Tennis Championship Chicago (21-4)

Johns Hopkins (18-5) Williams (21-2)

Semifinals May 22

Claremont-M-S (22-3) Championship May 23


Emory (17-5)

Bowdoin (13-8) Amherst (17-3)

Semifinals May 22

Carnegie Mellon (18-5)




First-year Megan Tang returns the ball in a rally against Carleton at Bally’s Health Club last Saturday. JAMIE MANLEY | THE CHICAGO MAROON

As Whitmore waits, Brizzolara casts eye on NCAA berth Men’s Track

Third-year Dee Brizzolara will compete today in the North Central Last Chance meet for the opportunity to run the 200-meter dash in the NCAA Champion meet next week. COURTESY OF DAVE HILBERT

Jake Walerius Associate Sports Editor What do you call half of a last chance? That’s what men’s track and field encounters today as it heads into the second day of the North Central Last

Chance meet, which began yesterday afternoon. The meet is the Maroons’ last of the outdoor season before next week’s NCAA Championship and a final opportunity for individual athletes to qualify for the nation-

al tournament. It is also the biggest meet in which Chicago will compete this year, with athletes expected from over 50 teams nationwide. Third-year distance runner Billy Whitmore is the South Siders’ best-ranked athlete

nationally and sits 20th in the 5,000-meter and 17th in the 10,000-meter. The top 20 declared athletes will qualify in each event. However, Whitmore has chosen to take the week off, hoping that his current

times will be enough to see him qualify. “Billy is sitting 17th in the country right now in the 10k,” head coach Chris Hall said, “but the reality is, I think, there are a couple of people in that event that will not run it and will opt to run the 5,000 instead. So, I think he might move up slightly in the rankings.” While his place in the 10,000-meter seems likely, his current ranking in the 5,000-meter leaves Whitmore in a much more precarious position. “He’s on the bubble in the 5k. He’s 20th right now, and I’d say that there’s a real chance that somebody else might run faster this week and could put him out of that event, but his priority is the 10k,” Hall said. The Maroons’ other favorite to qualify for Nationals, thirdyear sprinter Dee Brizzolara, will compete in the 200-meter today. To qualify for the NCAA tournament, Brizzolara will need to cut another three-tenths of a second off his season’s best time (21.84) that he posted at last week’s Chicago Penultimate.

“I’d like to continue to improve my times in the 100-meter and 200-meter races, and hopefully run well enough to make Nationals in the 200-meter,” Brizzolara said. “That [national qualification] was my goal for outdoor this season, but they only take the top 20 runners, so I need to drop a little time off my current best.” While fourth-year Dan Heck failed to qualify for Nationals following a 13thplace finish Thursday night, fellow fourth-year Moe Bahrani still has an outside shot at national qualification in the 3,000-meter steeplechase. But for the rest of the squad, this last chance is really more of a springboard for next year. “I think the great thing for our team at this time of year is that our kids can continue to compete later in May, and I think very often we have some great performances that may not get into the national meet this year but that give them the belief that they can get there next [year],” Hall said. The North Central Last Chance continues today at 3 p.m.

051812 Chicago Maroon  
051812 Chicago Maroon  

members of the Occupy movement. “Coming on the heels of the Occupy movement, I think it’s going to be fas- cinating what’s going to happen o...