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The Villager May 2013

Rejuvenate your body and

reduce the stress with

Therapeutic Yoga Mixed ability daytime and evening classes in

Pershore, Worcester & Upton area

Beginners welcome, 1st session


Also offering one-to-one sessions

Pam Griffiths - 01386 552004

BWY Yoga tutor - 'REAL YOGA' Therapist email:

Fern’s Cattery Windmill Hill Field Alcester Road Radford WR7 4LS

Are you planning a trip? Now your feline friends can have a luxurious time too... - Purpose built cattery situated in beautiful countryside. - Our chalets are constructed to the highest standards using the most up-to-date materials to comply with the model license conditions. - All chalets are heated, secure, hygienic and designed to offer interested, comfortable accommodation. - Any medical conditions are catered for. - Collection and delivery service. - 24 hour veterinary care. - Fully qualified staff.

For more details contact Ayley on: Tel: 01386 792554 Email:

Welcome to the May edition of

T he V illager Last month, we featured a charming and unusual letter box on the front cover, and I've had several calls and emails from readers asking where it is. So for anyone who is still wondering about this, it can be found on the Alcester Road, in Radford (near Inkberrow) about 200 yards from The Wheelbarrow Castle pub. This month's front cover is a photograph of catkins on a Salix caprea 'Pendula' or Kilmarnock Willow. Our increased distribution has attracted several new customers, and hopefully will continue to do so.

Fern’s Cattery

The website is now complete, although as with Windmill any website, will continue to be Hillit Field updated on anAlcester ongoing Road basis. Please take a couple of minutesRadford to have a look at it - there's WR7 4LS information about all the towns and villages planningto,a trip? your feline we deliver Are TheyouVillager our Now advertising friends can have a luxurious time too... rates and media pack for prospective - Purpose built cattery situated in beautiful countryside. advertisers, printing prices toif theyou want - Our chalets are constructed highest standards using the up-to-date materials to comply letterheads or most business cards printed, andwith accessthetomodel the license onlineconditions. versions of the last - All chalets are heated, secure, hygienic and designed three issues the magazine. to offer of interested, comfortable accommodation. - Any medical conditions are catered for.

delivery service. And as- Collection always, and if you need help or advice - 24 hour veterinary care. with your advertising project, just call or - Fully qualified staff. email me.

For more details contact Ayley on: Tel: 01386 792554 Email: BettyB e t

To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

The Villager

contents 5

Silver Training


Cloudy2Clear Windows




The Robot


Car Trade Direct


ALM Fitness


'High 8 Society'


Just popping out to water . . .


Business Editorial


Evesham Trade Centre


Five Houses of Religion


Chris Packham


Coffee Time!



Events in May


Your Community Directory

FRONT COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Mike Ambury (Catkins on Kilmarnock Willow)


Best Duck Joke!


Vale Connection Ladies Chorus


Index of Advertisers



Pershore Market

May 2013

Issue No. 36

“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.” Mark Twain


Grapevine Publications

3 Rye Street • Birtsmorton • WR13 6AS

Telephone 0845 224 7061 Mobile 07754 170286

EDITOR Betty-Ann Ambury

10th May 2013


The aims of The Villager are to bring local buyers and businesses together to encourage the people of Worcestershire and surrounding areas to support these businesses to help the local community to flourish. © 2013. All artwork and copy appearing in this publication is copyright and may not be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. The right to refuse advertisements is reserved. All information published is correct according to those who supplied it and no responsibility is taken if it is not. Care is taken to ensure all advertisements are truthful and no liability is accepted for errors or emissions. The use ofmention this publication canvassing, direct marketing or any other activity apart from sourcing local goods and services is strictly prohibited. Please THEforVILLAGER when responding to advertisers

■ Local company based in Worcestershire ■ Vast knowledge of felt, tile and rubber roofing systems ■ Fascias, sofit and rain water systems

Morton Hall Lane Holberrow Green Redditch Worcestershire B96 6SD

Call for any help and advice 01386 792638 01527 526207 07516 225321

Jordan Massey Fully Insured & Qualified Farm Mechanisation (Hartpury)

Using an ATV and best implements

� � 4

■ Large stocks of roofing products including felt, tiles, lath and fixings ■ A good selection of reclaimed tiles and slate ■ All work fully guaranteed and insured ■ Free no obligation quotations

Automated Mu

ck Clearing

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Chain Harrow

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All weather Leaves NO MARKS or damage to your paddocks

■ Supplies to trade and public

For All Your Equestrian Needs

maintaining yo ur land the easy way Small acc ess to paddoc ks & fields catered f or

Menage Gradin


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Highly Competitive Rates Please Call for a FREE Quote

01386 791572 • 07833 944166

To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

Don’t Don’t be be afraid afraid the Mouse! Don’t be the Mouse! Don’t be afraid afraid the Mouse! the Mouse!

of of of of

One One to to one one computer computer lessons. In your home. One computer lessons. In your home. One to to one one computer Friendly local tutor. lessons. In Friendly tutor.home. lessons. local In your your home. Friendly local tutor. Friendly local tutor. Call now on Call now on

01386 800 160 01386 800on160 Call now Call now on 01386 800 160 01386 800 160has Are you staring at a new computer which

found its way into your house? Perhaps your old computer is still crying out to be used properly?! Either way it’s there and it’s eyeing you up suspiciously!

MJsRealDeals Unit 6-7 Bakers Arcade, 54, High Street Pershore WR10 1DU

SECOND HAND DEALER Tel: 01386 552031 Mobile: 07846 390357 E-Mail:

When this happens we worry about how to use the thing properly, getting stuck and not recalling what to do or where to start.


Firstly, concentrate on what interests you the most. There is no point learning things that you don’t need to. Make a list of what you want to do: email friends, do the grocery shopping, research hobbies?

Why give your items away?

“But hold on!” (I hear you say) “What’s an email account? Is it safe to use my credit card online? Turn it on and off? I have to do that too??!!!” Fret not. As Silver Training’s Worcestershire tutor I will set you up and guide you through what interests you the most with step by step lessons at home. We will plan your learning to suit what you wish to get out of your machine. I come to you so you don’t even have to leave the house! So put those excuses away, and have a lesson to get started today! (we even throw in free training material in case you can’t remember what you have learned!)

We can often sell them for you On a 50/50 basis WE ACCEPT ALL MAJOR CREDIT/DEBIT CARDS

Jackie Richards MAAT MAAT

I am part of the UK’s largest network of home computer tutors, Silver Training, am fully background checked and already have many happy clients in the area!

Bookkeeping and Accountancy Services

Call now on 01386 800 160 to book a lesson or visit

Bookkeeping • VAT • Payroll Personal Income Tax • Business Income Tax Corporation Tax • Final Accounts Preparation

Robert Preston: Silver Training Tutor for Worcester and surrounding villages

16a Stonepit Lane, Inkberrow, Worcestershire WR7 4ED • 01386 793725 • 07967 791317

Based in Inkberrow in Worcestershire,

Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers


Helping our clients to Earn More, Keep More &


Welcome to Focus Accountancy. We are a firm of accountants, tax advisors and business consultants based in Evesham, Worcestershire. We offer all of the services you would expect to find from firm of accountants including: Accountancy Tax Compliance Bookkeeping & VAT Payroll & CIS

The Pantry, Peopleton

as featured on the TV programme BBC Countryfile Fresh British & Continental Bread & Patisseries High Quality Meat & Cheeses Local Honey & Eggs • Fresh Fruit & Vegetables Pickles & Preserves Plants & Fresh Flowers • Gardening Supplies Flower & Vegetable Seeds Newspapers, Greetings Cards, Gift Paper & Stationery • Post Office Traditional bicycle delivery service to Peopleton - unique in our area.

“Come and experience how good village shopping can be !!” Open: 8am – 6pm Monday – Friday 9am – 12noon Sat 9am – 11am Sun Post Office: 9am – 3.30pm Mon- Fri.

Phone 01386 764 765 or Email

Tel: 01905 840471


To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit


Cloudy2Clear Windows – Service With A Smile! It’s been a crazy few months for Cloudy2Clear Windows. The company which specialises in repairing windows which are steamed up, broken or damaged by replacing the panes – not the frames has grown rapidly as homeowners take advantage of their services. Managing Director Paul Papandreou feels that it’s all about service. ‘Our product is simple. If your double glazing is misted up we can replace the glass at a fraction of the cost of a new window, in any type of frame, and with a new 5 year guarantee. But it’s not just about saving people

money, although that obviously helps. Many tradespeople have struggled since last year and I honestly feel that during the good times a minority perhaps didn’t focus on customer care as much as they should have done. We make sure we turn up when we say we will, do the job the customer requires and leave their house as clean as a whistle. I often get comments back from customers on how they really didn’t expect that sort of service which, in a way, is very sad for the service industry as a whole.’ Cloudy2Clear service the Malvern, Worcester & Hereford areas and Paul is finding that his approach is a major

factor in his success. ‘The truth is that it’s not just the personal satisfaction that I get from doing a good job but also it makes good business sense. I get a huge amount of business from friends and family of people

I’ve done work for, which just goes to show how much a little bit of effort is appreciated.’ So, if your windows are steamed up, broken or damaged give Paul a call for a free quotation on 0800 61 21 118 and he’ll be happy to help!

STEAMED UP DOUBLE GLAZING? Don’t replace the Frames... just the Panes!

Broken or Damaged Windows? Faulty Hinges, Handles or Locks? Want The Latest Energy Saving Glass? All Glazing Backed By Our 5 Year Manufacturers Guarantee Priority Freephone

0800 61 21118 ...we make saving money perfectly clear... Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers



from far & wide Custard Slices 200gm cream crackers 1 litre milk 50gm butter 250mls sugar 125mls flour 100mls cornflour 3 tsps custard powder

2mls salt 125mls cold water 3 eggs 1 tsp vanilla essence 250gm icing sugar 25mls boiling water 10mls lemon juice



Arrange half the crackers in rows of 3 in a square dish.


Mix milk, butter and sugar in a pan and bring to the boil, stirring until sugar dissolves.


Sieve together flour, cornflour, custard powder and salt in another pan, then beat together eggs and cold water and add to flour mixture.


Slowly add hot milk mixture, stirring continuously and cook over a low heat until the custard thickens.


Stir in vanilla essence, then spoon over crackers, smooth top and cover with a second layer of crackers.


Allow to cool, then chill in the fridge.


Mix together icing sugar, lemon juice and boiling water to make a glace icing, and pour over crackers.


Return dish to fridge; when cold and firm, cut into slices.

To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

Professional Paws & Claws

Dog Grooming Salon

clipping, bathing,

nail cutting etc...

Unhappy with the state of your lawn. Call for a free Lawn Care Analysis. We provide amongst other services: • Fertilisation •Weed and moss control • Aeration • Scarification • Insect control • Disease treatment • Growth regulation • Water retention

1 Cowleys Way, High Street, Pershore

07933 153433 (Find us in Pershore Market)

We also sell bowls, collars and accessories. Tel: 01531 890972

C.E.T Plumbing & Heating Plumbing & Gas Engineer Landlord Certificates

Boiler Replacement

Boiler and Appliance Servicing Kitchens and Bathroom Renovation LPG / Natural Gas

Free Estimates

Professional, Reliable Service CALL DALE or TREVOR Mobile: 07825 139506 Daytime: 01242 506101 Evening: 01386 882646

Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers



The Robot : a cautionary tale . . . ! This is a story about a man who buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He takes it home and decides to try it out at dinner that night. He asks his son what he did that day. His son replies, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Okay, okay! I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch ?" The son replies, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Okay, okay! We were watching porn." Dad says, "What?! At your age I didn't even know what porn was!"


The robot slaps the father. Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son . . ." The robot slaps the mother.

The End (PS: Robot For Sale)

beautiful & energy efficient Choose from our extensive range and enjoy high quality products combined professional design and quality installation. With years of experience we offer a relaxed and friendly service at great value prices!

Let us transform your home... No pressure, No hassle, just quality products and workmanship at honest prices

Windows, Doors & Conservatories

ETC Windows Doors & Conservatories are proud to be Worcestershire’s select installer for Vevo products

tel : 01386 800600

Unit 2, Site 14 Four Pools Ind Est. St Richards Road, Evesham, Worcs. WR11 1XJ 10

To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

Independent Financial Advisers • Pensions and Retirement Planning • Savings and Investments • Later Life Advice • General Financial Advice Eugénie Cameron AIFP APFS Certs CII (MP&ER) Chartered Financial Planner

Pinvin, Pershore

Call: 01684 891768 Email:




For all your plumbing needs:  Gas

safe registered  Landlord certificates  Boiler changes  System upgrades  All plumbing work  Bathrooms and Tiling

t: 01386 861676 m: 07976 420150

Reg No. 207290

Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers August 2012

Ledbury Focus


new CASH mpler ffer !

Gloucestershire Professional Car Buyers THE EASY WAY TO SELL YOUR CAR OR VAN TODAY


ere at Car Trade Direct we have over 30 years experience of buying cars from companies and from private individuals. WE MAKE OFFERS NOT VALUATIONS!

Coombe Hill Service Station,

WeTewkesbury are committed offering professional advice when you come to us to sell your car. Road, to Coombe Hill,honest Glos GL19 4BD There is no pressure: call us or visit our office anytime, complete the on-line form, or if you prefer, we can come to you - we have a full time appraiser in your area. There are no fees or charges and FREE collections.

E MAKE AN OFFER, NOT A VALUATION SELL YOUR VEHICLE TODAY! Our local car-buying service enables you to sell your vehicle quickly and easily for cash.

We generally buy vehicles within a 30 mile radius of our postcode and in a price range of £500 to We will buy your car or van for cash, quick and simple. £20,000. No online valuation which are not honoured or deflated. As a local company dealing with local people we care about our reputation, so we won't just send Just acar fairvaluation. price thatUnlike we will purchase your vehicle you an automated many on-line buyers, we arefor. real people ready to see you anytime - no appointments necessary. We'll give you free advice and accurate valuations without the pressures you get dealing with large national companies. CALL IN TODAY AND

VEHICLEno fuss or bother, just a fair price. So, if We will buy your car or van for cash, SELL quickYOUR and simple, you are wondering where can you sell your car, then you've come to the right place. YOUR DRIVE-IN BUYING CENTRE

y, just pop into our n our selling form. WE

ome to you.

aiser in your area. free collection.

Open Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm. Sat 10am - 2pm. (Sunday by appointment)

Gloucestersh ire Professional THE EASY WAY Car Buyers TO SELL YOUR CAR OR VAN TODAY


01242 680063 01242 680063 w r brand ne ou Complete SH CAR FOR CA SELL YOUR er for a simpl rm online fo fe an of r e iv ce re way to hicle! for your ve k ad rtr ca w. ww


Gloucestershire Professional Car Buyers THE EASY WAY TO SELL YOUR CAR OR VAN TODAY

Coombe Hill Service Station, Tewkesbury Road, Coombe Hill, Glos GL19 4BD


WE MAKE AN OFFER, NOT A VALUATION SELL YOUR VEHICLE TODAY! We will buy your car or van for cash, quick and simple. No online valuation which are not honoured or deflated. Just a fair price that we will purchase your vehicle for.


No appointment necessary, just pop into our office, telephone or fill in our selling form. If you like we can come to you. We have a full time appraiser in your area. No fees or charges and free collection.


Open Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm. Sat 10am - 2pm. (Sunday by appointment)


01242 680063 12

Gloucestershir e Professional THE EASY WAY Car Buyers TO SELL YOUR CAR OR VAN TODAY


To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

Help at Home…… Are you looking for affordable, reliable and professional help around your home? Age UK Herefordshire & Worcestershire are able to offer a range of services to help you with day to day tasks:  Housework, spring cleaning and deep cleans  Laundry, ironing and changing beds  Shopping  Gardening  DIY jobs  And so much more…. All our Help at Home Assistants are CRB checked and trained to a high standard.

For more information, call us on 01386 422700 Age UK Herefordshire & Worcestershire 12 Vine Street, Evesham, WR11 4RE Email: Web:

Luke's Garden Maintenance Any gardening job quoted for, including: • Fencing • Hedge cutting • • Patio cleaning • • Mowing • Strimming • • Rubbish removals • • Tree work • • Vegetable patches rotovated • • Fence and shed painting • • Guttering cleaning •

sunflower soft furnishings

and more...

call now for a FREE, no obligation quote

Local ~ Professional ~ Reliable Find us on


01386 244680

Find us on

Mobile: 07892447450 or email

• Complete curtain design service • Made to measure curtains, blinds, soft furnishings • Wide range of fabrics & wallpapers to view • Poles, tracks & all curtain accessories • Roller, vertical, venetian blinds • Complete fitting service The Old Smithy, Worcester Road Grafton Flyford, WR7 4PW

t: 01905 381811 m: 07976 640307

Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers


16 ways to maximize your workout: Kick start your summer fitness plan TODAY! 1. Limit your workouts to 30-40 minutes: Though the tendency of some people who really want to get a lot out of their workouts is to spend a lot of time at the gym, the truth is that after 30 or 40 minutes, the benefit isn’t as great. To go that long, you’d have to lower the intensity of the workout, and that means that you’re spending too much time working out. It’s better to work out at a higher intensity for a shorter amount of time. 2. High-intensity workouts: If you’re just starting out with exercise, it’s best to take it slow. If you’re running or cycling, for example, build up your endurance for at least a month before you get into anything more intense. That means going at a rate where you can easily talk without being out of breath. However, once you have that base of endurance, step up the intensity to step up the effectiveness of the workout. 3. Protein: Many people don’t pay enough attention to getting the protein their muscles need to rebuild. If you don’t, you are going to get very little out of your workout, as both cardio and strength workouts require protein for building muscles. I recommend either whey or soy protein shakes. 4. Water: Be sure to hydrate throughout the day. It takes a couple of hours for your body to absorb the water, so you can’t just drink right before exercise. Make it a habit to drink water regularly throughout the day. 14

5. Carbs: Although the low-carb craze might say otherwise, carbs are our body’s main source of fuel. If you do intense workouts, you will need carbs, or you won’t have enough energy. If you do a shake, be sure to include carbs — or a banana is a great source of low fiber/high glycemic carbohydrates that you need for exercise. 6. Shake before and after workout: It’s best to take a protein/carb shake just before your workout and then just after. Taking it before your workout increases the flow of amino acids to your muscles during training, giving them the building blocks they need. After the workout, the shake stimulates muscle growth. Also take a small protein/ carb meal 60-90 minutes after a workout — a meal replacement bar would work fine. 7. Slow lifting: Many people contract their muscles slowly and then release more quickly. But if you lift slowly in both directions, you are maximizing each move. Lift and lower to a 5-second count in each direction. 8. Heavier weight: When you’re starting out, it’s best to start with lower weights so you can focus on good form. But once you’ve gotten your form down, it’s best to lift the heaviest weights you can lift while still keeping good form. Don’t sacrifice form for heavy weights — that is ineffective. But heavy weights, with good form, can give you better results in a shorter amount of

To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

time. Heavy weights are not just for those who want to bulk up — that’s a common misconception. 9. One set - to failure: Instead of doing 2-3 sets, as many people do, maximize your effectiveness by doing just one, with heavy weights, until you can no longer keep the proper form. Lifting to “failure” doesn’t mean that you should lift the last few times with a wobbly or inefficient form. 10. Compound exercises: Instead of isolating your muscles with exercises such as the bicep curl, you can maximize the time you spend in a workout by doing exercises that work out multiple muscle groups at once. With just a few exercises, you could get a full-body workout. Another benefit is that your muscles are working together as they do in the real world, rather than alone. 11. Balance lifting: Instead of having exercises where you’re sitting down or holding on to something or otherwise stabilized, it’s more effective to do them standing up, or on one leg, or on a Swiss exercise ball. These types of exercises force you to balance yourself while lifting, which brings your core muscles into play. This gives you a stronger overall body and allows you to lift more over time. 12. Pick a cardio exercise you enjoy: It’s no fun to exercise if you hate it. And you won’t keep it up for very long. Pick something that’s fun — running, walking, swimming, biking, hiking, rowing, etc. After the initial phase when you’re getting used to exercise, you’ll start to have a blast and look forward to it. 13. Mix it up: Don’t stick to the same workout routine for too long, or your body will adjust to the stress level and you won’t be getting an effective workout. For strength

training, change your routine every few weeks. 14. Good form: For strength training especially, and swimming, form is very important, but it’s also important for other types of exercise. If you’re strength training, start with lighter weights so you can work on your form. It’s good to have an experienced spotter or trainer who knows good form to help you for the first month or so. Never sacrifice form for heavier weight. For swimming, you’ll need to get a coach to teach you form. 15. Hills: If you run or bike or walk for cardio, you’ll want to incorporate hills (after the first month or two of doing it at an easy pace on flat ground). These will make you stronger and make your limited workout time even more effective. Take them easy at first, but once you’re used to hills, you can get a good pace going. Either use a hilly route or do repeats on one hill. 16. Circuits: One mistake that people make is to do multiple sets of the same exercise without rest between the sets. This doesn’t allow your muscles to recover and it’s a waste of your workout. But instead of doing a set, resting, and then doing your second set, it’s more effective to move on to multiple exercises in a circuit, so that you don’t rest between exercises but do rest each muscle group. This will give you a good cardio workout while you do your strength training.

For more information on Personal Training, Classes and other services I provide visit or call Amy 07740 366419 or email

Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers


Paul Cooper over 25 years experience

Overskim Old Walls & Artex Plastering ● Rendering Screeding tel: 01905 381082 mob: 07977 742245 LPG Installations:Servicing:Repairs

Oil Installations:Servicing:Repairs Gas Installations:Servicing:Repairs

Landlord's safety inspections and certification. All aspects of heating and plumbing undertaken from new boilers to replacing washers Contact us on t: 01386 793720 or 0845 5390 329 m: 07872 824482 or 07872 824481 We are based in Worcestershire


26/07/2011 13:23

SERVICE SALES SPARES Triple C (Cropthorne) Autos Limited Unit 1, Field Barn Farm Field Barn Lane, Cropthorne Worcestershire WR10 3LY Call Chris or Kev

01386 861232 / 07858 261449


Part p' Domestic Installer Registered

• New Builds & Extension • Full/Part House Rewires • Outdoor Security Lighting • Mains Smoke Detectors • Extra Sockets & Lights • Night Storage Heaters • Fuseboard Changes 16

Call for a FREE

Inspection / Quotation t: 01905 828004 or m: 07899 964866

To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit


The Nathan, Radford, Inkberrow, Worcestershire,WR7 4LN



Rubber roofing resists water, snow and sunlight and can be laid over old roofs solve it with

Tough Single Ply EPDM Rubber Roofing Membrane

Skip Hire

20 YEAR GUARANTEE WITH A 50 YEAR PROVEN PLUS LIFE For a free no obligation survey and quote, call your approved residential installer

G.M. ROOFING You only fit a rubber roof once!


• UPVC Roofline – Fascias Soffits & Gutters • Traditional Roofing • New or Repairs

Tel: 01386 800400

Mike 0751 316 9244 or Glen 0779 534 2498

We are renowned for our skip hire services in and around the surrounding area. Our service is secondto-none, our drivers are polite and considerate, and we always go the extra mile for our customers. BUT did you know that here at MHF (UK) Ltd we also sell and hire hook, cable and chainlift trucks and drawbar trailers? We are a major supplier of spares for demountables and have a wellequipped workshop and trained mechanics. SPECIALISTS IN GROUND DEMOUNTABLE HOOK & CABLE TRUCK HIRE ● SALES ● SPARES ● REFURBISHMENT ● CONTAINERS ● WASTE DISPOSAL Registered Office: Address as stated Incorporated in England Company Reg No. 2721020 VAT Reg. No. 770281436

Fax: 01386 792184

Tel: 01386 792354

Let your views be heard Help make a positive difference to the care and support you receive with

“My Say, My Way”  Are you 18 or over and living with a disability in Worcestershire?  Do you have opinions or ideas about the health and care services which affect your life?  Do you want to see changes to these services? If the answer is YES, then join My Say, My Way. For more information call us free on 0800 0086077 Email: Web: Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers


Ice Cream Soda

Vintage Clothing Millies Milk Bar


the retro caravan

For a personal and helpful service with:


Vine Court  Vine Street Evesham  WR11 2NN

tel: 07808 792896

Paul Jenkins, Chartered Accountant

01386 552223 39 High Street, Pershore, WR10 1EU

Open: Wednesday to Saturday

CET Property Care “You Care We Care” Locks Changed

Painting Service

Flat Pack Assembly

Guttering Cleaned/Repaired

Handyman service

Shelving Fitted


Free Estimates

Professional, Reliable Service CALL DALE or TREVOR Mobile: 07825 139506 Daytime: 01242 506101 Evening: 01386 882646



To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

Home Handyman

Painting • Decorating • Tiling Someone to do those odd jobs around the house NO JOB TOO SMALL


Tel: John 01386 550263 Mob: 07770 442851



THEN LET US DO IT FOR YOU! • All totally nonBcorrosive and safe solutions • Specialist equipment • OFTEN copied B never equalled • Non caustic • No smells Safe to cook straight away

Also specialists in cleaning

• Microwave BBQs • Hobs • AGAs • Extractor Fans

01905 830375 01654 710717, 07730 620153


E. Hill & Son Funeral Directors Established 1960

Independent Family Run Business Holders of Diploma in Funeral Directing

& Elite Stoves ● Prompt, reliable & friendly service ● All types of flues & appliances cleaned. ● Cowls and bird guards fitted. ● Guild certificates issued after every sweep.

● Fully qualified by the Guild of Master Sweeps and fully insured. ● Stove/Log burner Installations. ● HETAS Approved Installer.

Call Eddie T 01905 700701 / 07895 612915

Professional & Sympathetic Service Available 24 Hours Prepaid funeral plans available

01386 552141

Fairfield House, Defford Road, Pershore, WR10 1HZ


Extensions - Windows, Doors & Conservatories Guttering - Facias - Soffits Carpentry - Plastering - Painting & Decorating Kitchens & Bathrooms - General Maintenance Tel Daytime: 07767 001865, 07917 724222 Eve: 01386 640887, 01905 381678 Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers


‘High' Society or 'How to attract the right sort of pond life to your garden party'


ou sit motionless, glass of bubbly in hand, the perfect guest. A rustle behind you indicates the orchestra is assembling, you listen to their traditional zip, zing and twang. The air is electric with anticipation, a breeze of excitement whispers through the gathering gloom and the chorus begins . . . . ’ribbit ribbit’. Surely you weren’t expecting Handel’s Water Music? This is evensong! One of life’s real pleasures is to perch quietly by a healthy pond, teeming with life. As the year progresses frog song gives way to crickets, but there is always the familiar plop and gloop of things jumping into the water, susurration in the reeds. The very stuff of Wind in the Willows; sadly a diminishing scenario.

Established wildlife pool

19th century Britain possessed almost 1¼ million ponds, naturally occurring and man made for running mills, watering livestock, cultivating carp. ‘Man’s pursuit of cheap food and consumer goods’ in the last century reduced this to around ½ million. Of those that remain, 80% are unfit for habitation, stagnant and overgrown, their biological condition ruined over the past decade alone (see Government Countryside Survey commissioned 2007, published 2010) Not heard of this report? The results are so bad, the government-of-the-day ignored it for a year, before quietly publishing, sans press release. No wonder it is buried on their web-site.

we cou

Frogs with spawn

Our rural ponds support more endangered up the old freshwater animals, plants and a wider says frog range of common species than do lakes not pos or rivers. The latter currently fail to meet European standards for supporting aquatic toad re residents. Improvements enjoyed during the 1990’s have ceased and 75% of English/ Welsh rivers are too polluted to support any life. Apparently, sparkling clean water for Ratty and Mole has been all but eliminated from our landscape. Why has this happened? Modern agricultural practices are partly culpable. Silt and fertilisers leach from field to ditch to stream, but that is nothing compared to the oily, salt-laden contaminated water running off our roads and


with224 beach To advertisePond call 0845 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

keep it strictly British native species. • Avoid fish, they have anti-social habits, eating baby newts and tadpoles. • Plant kingdom gate-crashers to avoid are floating pennywort, New Zealand pygmyweed, water primrose, parrot's Enough doom and gloom - what’s to be done? feather and water fern. They will choke Long term, we need a new national your pond, block out light, reduce plan to protect our freshwater water oxygen levels and pose a . . . no fish ecosystems, but this plea will fall danger to children and animals. on deaf ears without some heavy please, we're If you have no inclination to weights behind the campaign. amphibian! acquire personal pond-life, you Short term, we need practical can still help improve existance for action. ‘They say’ cleaning existing our wet friends: join the Million Ponds contaminated ponds is unachievable, the Project with its ambition to create ½ million pollution is so bad. About 7,000 new ponds new high-quality, clean-water ponds in the are created annually, but in areas of intensive UK. Visit and agriculture. Quickly colonised by desperate explore their fantastic web-site with pond wildlife, they soon silt up with pollution dipping forays, charity projects and advice on and decline. The way forward is to create installing your own pond. new ponds in protected areas, avoiding contamination by streams and ditches; not Footnote: Next month: Part 2 - keeping your wet guests happy. only in the countryside, but also in towns and Before installing a pond, please research your cities. Indeed, the sub-urban pond is most project thoroughly to avoid mistakes; visit the pond successful for common frogs. website for advice and check your local legislation. millions of gallons of effluent disgorging daily from industrial facilities into our rivers. We have all contributed to this disaster, through our modern lifestyle; it simply isn’t sustainable.

What you can do . . . throw a pond party and invite some wildlife. Now I admit, one doesn’t (shouldn’t) grab a spade and rush out to the garden to begin uld clean digging a pond. There is much to plan. As with any social occasion, d ponds  you need to consider guest list, g. that’s catering, how to avoid the inedible ssible!  aquatic salad bar, health and safety, eplies. crowd control, gate-crashers (more of this next month). But a few thoughts for now are:

Article by Hilary Collins BSc. (Hons)hort., M.I.Hort. Envisage...gardens by design Grower, Horticultural Consultant and Garden Designer Grafton Nursery Grafton Flyford, Worcester WR7 4PW For advice on ponds, landscape contruction garden design, and planting contact: email: &

1) Getting the balance right so your guests feel welcome is important and very simple. All you need is really clean water; essential for certain types of caddis, alderfly and dragonfly. 2) Who not to invite: fish and foreigners. Sorry - I know this sounds politically incorrect, but foreign plants and animals are not welcome. I’m all in favour of cultural diversityin the shrubbery (if you get my drift), but ponds are environmentally sensitive, so Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers How pristine is Ullswater?



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Installation 23

Business Editorial

Why Businesses Fail! A controversial subject, especially in the middle of a recession, but one worth exploring. So why do businesses fail? Well there are many reasons, but here are some examples which prompted me to write this article. The first was a small local business that recently closed down. This business was doomed from day one, not because of the type of business, but because of the attitude of the owner. The business itself was not exactly unique, but the products and services offered were of a specialist nature, which meant there is little competition but sufficient demand for it to have been very successful. Why then did it fail? Quite simply because the owner was unwilling to tell anyone outside her local area about it. Yes, I’m again talking about our old friend: advertising!

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, she failed to see the need to publicise her business, and so paid the ultimate price: failure. The second example is a very common one. A couple of weeks ago I asked a prospective customer why he'd decided not to advertise. His answer: ". . . business is bad at the moment, so I'm not advertising anywhere until it picks up". Whilst I understand the reluctance to spend money if there's not much coming in, the simple fact is things won't pick up unless he advertises. The third example to prompt this article was a frustrating internet search which had me tearing my hair out! All I wanted was a website where I could choose some flowers and pay for them online. Simples – to quote a well-known meercat!

. . . if you

When approached about advertising shortly after the business opened, the owner was adamant that she didn’t want to advertise – not just with The Villager, but anywhere – the business didn’t even have a website; she “just wanted to see how things go”. Well we now know how they went – down the drain! And there was no need for this to happen. Starting a business in the middle of a recession is risky, but go about it in the right way and it can be a very smart move: if you can survive a recession, once it ends, your business will literally fly. But it takes careful planning and preparation, and of course, lots of advertising. Tell the whole world about your business using electronic advertising (a website) and use paper advertising to drive local traffic to your website.

So I googled florists in the area and got a list of about a dozen. The first eight either didn’t have a website, had no arrangements to choose from or no prices! The ninth had a few out of focus photos, and again no prices, at which point I gave up, googled "Interflora" and paid the extra delivery charge (which I would have preferred to spend on the flowers).

fail to plan, then you plan to fail . . .

A fundamental requirement when starting a business is a sound business plan, and one of the main components of which is how the business will be promoted. There is a saying which is pertinent to most situations in life, this one in particular: “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail”. This little business should have been a great success; the owner obviously had the necessary skills, and a good high street presence. 24

And the moral of this story is: if you want to be successful in business today, you must have a website and you must use it correctly. These florists should all have had a full gallery of (good quality!) photos of their standard arrangements, together with the prices. It’s pointless having a website if all you have on it are your contact details. That's like having an Aga and only using it to boil water for a cup of tea! Your website can be a very powerful business vehicle – use it. Put as much information on it as you can, add lots of photos (if these are relevant) and of course, all your contact details. Then start the engine of your business vehicle using a bold, eye-catching paper advert to direct customers to your website. A simple formula – but it works!

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Evesham Trade Centre Celebrates FEATURE 2nd ADVERTISING Successful Year! Building plastics trade centre celebrates success Trade Centre is

vesham Centre is celebrating Evesham two Trade successful celebrating two successful years supplying building years supplying building plastics and roofing materials plastics and roofing materials to to both trade and the general both trade and the general public. public. To




any Harris, customer Established in 2011anniversary, by Michael who makes a purchase from Glen Brotherton and Wayne Ormsby, the centre during April will be entered into a Industrial raffle with eight the centre on the Four Pools prizes totalling £500 worth of Estate has grownvouchers rapidly and now employs eight staff.Established in 2011 by Michael

Providing ‘everything but the skips to dispose of the old Harris, Glen Brotherton and bricks’ for building exteriors, products when they buy new Wayne Ormsby, centre absolutely Evesham Trade Centrethat ones.we’ve bucked the Spokesman Barry Williams said:the“We’re delighted on the Four Pools Industrial offers windows, doors, To find out how Evesham current trend in theEstate building industry andfascias, are growing month.” has grown rapidly and guttering every and lots Trade Centre can help you now employs eight staff. more at prices much more save money on your building high street Providing ‘everything but the bricks’ forcompetitive buildingthan exteriors,Evesham Trade Centre Spokesman Barry Williams project, call in to Unit 2, Site chains. said: “We’re absolutely DIYoffers windows, doors, guttering 14 onfascias, the Four Pools Industrial delighted that we’ve bucked A unique feature available to just off St Richard’s and lots who more at Estate, prices much more the current trend in the trade customers hold an Road (next to Howdens) or building industry and are account with the business competitive than is high street DIY chains. being able to use the on-site call 01386 244042. growing every month.”

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Evesham Trade Centre Building plastics and roofing materials centre June 2011 Michael Harris, Glen Brotherton and Wayne Ormsby

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THE FABRIK SHOP 24a Broad Street, Pershore. Tel: 01386 553 626 e:

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Doors, windows, porches and conservatories • • • • • • • • • • • • •

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Five Houses of Religion There were five houses of religion in a small town: The Presbyterian Church, The Baptist Church, The Methodist Church, The Catholic Church and The Jewish Synagogue. All the churches and the Synagogue were overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. In The Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and the following week, there were twice as many. The Methodist Church got together and decided that they should not harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back. But . . . The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptised the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, Easter and Christmas. Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but apparently they caught one squirrel and circumcised him . . . they haven't seen any squirrels on the property since!. 28

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CHRIS PACKHAM photographer & conservationist

Article by Brian Joyce


hris Packham . . . genuine, modest and unassuming. Equally a man of many talents, a perfectionist and self critic when it comes to his own photography. Broach the right topics and his passion and enthusiasm are as self-evident as they were during his Wild Night Out presentation to a packed Huntingdon Hall in Worcester. These topics can be his painting/art, his chair collection (not for sitting), restoring old cars (e-type Jag, TR4 or Aston Martin DB6), music (Punk Rock) or his two poodles (Itchy & Scratchy) but certainly also photography, nature, conservation, wildlife and the plight of our world today. Whilst chatting with Chris prior to his Wild Night Out delivery, I could feel his overriding passion and strong desire to change things for the better; to improve the plight of many endangered species and perhaps even re-introduce some who have left our shores; such as the lynx and the wolf. From being a punk rocker and member of a band in his youth, Chris moved into photography (selling his band gear to buy a camera) and natural history on TV, assisting initially with filming and camera work. His fascination with animals and nature, directed his career. He puts his publicity and TV exposure to good use educating us about conservation and better ways to care for our planet and its valuable wildlife. In his youth, Chris spent hours cycling around Hampshire, where he still lives, clutching his Observer’s Book of Birds Eggs. Documenting kestrels, their eggs and chicks was the first major challenge for young master Packham. His first real scientific study was Population & Breeding Density of Kestrels in the Lower Itchen Valley which subsequently won him the Prince Philip Zoology Prize. Chris then moved from Reptiles to Raptors ("raptor" being a term used to refer to birds of prey). Very soon raptors lead to badgers, barn owls and more, whilst the New Forest was replaced by more exotic locations such 30

as the Antarctic Islands, rain forests, deserts, oceans and mountain ranges. Needless to say exotic locations brought exotic birds, animals and mammals to study and photograph, and occasionally took him to exotic local night clubs! Listening to Chris talk about his life and his enthusiasm for nature, it is easy to be drawn into his world, and be infected by his passion and enthusiasm for nature. His desire is for us to approach elements of saving the planet in different ways, taking a more modern and habitat based approach, rather than just saving single species. This may include educating the Chinese on the use of modern medicines replacing their current penchant for rhino horn (amongst many others) or perhaps just putting up barn owl nesting boxes in proximity to uncultivated land and away from major roads. This latter initiative is a success story in the UK and has pulled these beautiful creatures back from the brink. His usual approach is often underpinned by the blend of public figure championing the cause (as sponsor, VP and President of numerous organisations such as the Hawk & Owl Trust, RSPB and a wide variety of wildlife and wildfowl trusts) and acting as an agent provocateur and outspoken individual. Talking about overpopulation in China and India (the human species population growth is the biggest single factor impacting habitats) when mixed with their limited and toxic water supplies means they are headed for major problems in the not too

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distant future. Chris really believes that we will continue to lose species such as lions, tigers and perhaps even rhinos, and many habitats too, but eventually there will be a “decline through the human governance by economics and a consequent increase in the governance through environmentalism�. He believes and hopes environmentalism will have its day and we will understand our role in the continuing decline of the environment. He strongly believes we have the intelligence, the knowledge and arsenal of abilities to change things, improve our lot, the lot of our wildlife and therefore ultimately the lot of our planet. He would still like to visit, photograph and support conservation in habitats where they care and have a focused desire to change things. On his list still to visit are the Baltic States, the Atacama Desert in Peru and to see Phillipine eagles in their natural state. Far from ensconcing himself in an ivory tower determining what we do wrong - a view he thought was the solution in his early days - he prefers the active, hands-on and direct approach; learning about our planet and its valuable wildlife as he goes about the world, teaching and educating us in the error of our ways. Engaging us, especially the younger generation(s), to come and do what he feels so strongly about – wildlife and nature; this is what he would like as his legacy. I highly commend his dedication, stamina, staying-power, enthusiam and passion . . . would that I could follow in his footsteps.

BG Digital Photographs Digital Photography for you. Contact me to cover your event, photograph your product, take images of you or your loved ones. Getting married and want images of the whole event. Preparing product or website advertising and need images (including digitally manipulated), need shots taken of architecture, landscapes or landmarks.

Are you a model or an agent needing portfolio or fashion shoot photographs. All of these and more can be provided by BG Digital Photo-graphs. Just contact me by email, mobile phone or the contact form on the website. BG Digital Photographs, your friendly, experience local digital photographer in the Vale of Evesham.

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Number Workout


Fit the numbers 1-6 once in every hexagon so that where the hexagons touch, the numbers are the same. No number is repeated in any hexagon.

Fill in the blank squares, ensuring that the numbers add up to the number in the grey box to the left of the row or above the line. Only numbers 1 to 9 can be used and no number can be repeated in the same row or line.

5 2 1 3


3 2









6 3






9 6 5









7 2


3 9

1 2

5 3


that each line, square contain duplicating the line or square



20 17

9 9



Trivia (answers on page 35)




Coffee Break 9










Fill in the blank squares so each row and each mini the numbers 1 - 9 without without same number in any row,




4 2

5 2






2. What liqueur is poured over Cherries Jubilee before they're set alight? 3. Do crocodiles lay eggs? 4. What game was first played with Champagne corks for balls and cigar boxes for bats? 5. What kind of fruit are Democrats, Croftons and Sturmer Pippins? 6. What kind of animal did Pinocchio almost turn into? 7. How many hotels are there in Monopoly?

1 9

1. What does a pullet become on her first birthday?

8. What is the highest rank in the British peerage after that of a royal prince?


9. Which club usually hits a golf ball further: a two-iron or a three-wood? 10. Which Goon was the voice of Neddy Seagoon?

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EFT - The Path to Inner Peace Emotional Freedom The Path to Inner Peace Do you suffer from anxiety, stress or depression? Do you want to ‘let go’ of this and really start enjoying your life? EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) helps to:  let go of any negativity so you feel calm and gain peace;  increase your positivity and well-being;  bring you self-acceptance and contentment. Gain more peace in your life, contact Kim on 07518 053311

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Events in


Saturday 4th, 11th, 18 & 25th May Old Games Play with 1930 & 1940's garden games and have a day in the life of a George's Yard child. 1pm to 5pm. Tel: 01905 23571. Friar Street, Worcester, WR1 2LZ Sunday 5th May May Day Donkey Procession May Day traditions and well blessing. Sing traditional May songs, join in blessing our wells and springs and enjoy old May Day customs as we make our way to St Ann’s Well for a Water Cure Lunch and a Blessing of the Water Ceremony. Bring all the family and pets! Starting 11.30am on Abbey Road, Malvern, WR14 2AA. Thursday 9th May Pershore Arts - Looking at The Landscape with Constable Pershore Arts are very pleased to announce that Richard Lockett will be giving his talk Looking at the Landscape with Constable at St Andrews Centre, Pershore. This interactive and illustrated talk will focus on how Constable made his classic works and his place within the British Landscape. Richard is currently a NADFAS lecturer. 7.30pm. Tickets £4 from: 3 Little Pigs, Coach House Books, Sedgberrow Books and The Godown. Saturday 11th May Pershore Choral Our Spring concert in May celebrates the work of Haydn. Pershore Choral, together with the West Midlands Sinfonia under the direction of Carleton Etherington, will present Haydn’s inspiring Te Deum and Harmony Mass in B flat major. Pershore Abbey 7.30 pm, tickets available from Blue, Pershore or the Ticket Secretary - Carole Oliver 01386 860389/mob 07808 887715. For further information about Pershore Choral please visit our website “” Sunday 12th May Leukaemia & Lymphoma 25th Anniversary Fun Run 10k & 5k Organised by the local branch of Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research. There will be stalls, BBQ, St John's Ambulance, massage for the runners, changing rooms and a bar. Forms and details from our website. T-shirts for all fundraisers given on the morning of the race. 10k starts at 11.00


and 5K at 11.10. No entries after 10.30am. £9 per entry, £8.50 if affiliated, £10 on the day. No under 16’s in 10k race. Medals for all finishers. Prizes for 1st, 2nd, 3rd men, women and veteran prizes in both races. Bromsgrove Rugby Club, Finstall, B60 3DH. Saturday 18th May In The Line of Fire - Charity Event Walk a few steps to help hundreds of our servicemen & veterans on their journey to recovery. Family Fun Day, live music & world record breaking fire walk attempt! Be part of a fantastic cause, day out & experience. Just £25 to register for the fire walk via Worcester Road, Wichenford, nr. Worcester, WR6 6YE. Sunday 19th May Belshazzar’s Feast “Their music is breathtaking and wickedly inventive and the between-tunes interchange as intelligent and hilarious as the music ...” BBC Radio 2 Mike Harding. 7.30pm to 10.30pm. Tel: 01386 831173. £12. The Cross, Bretforton, Evesham, WR11 7JE. Saturday 25th May Craft & Gift Fair Craft & Gift fair in Worcester Guildhall. A wide range of local people selling such items as hand made jewellery, hand made cards, paintings, textiles, bags, home decor, woodturn products, bunting and much more. Open from 10am to 4pm. FREE ADMISSION. Worcester Guildhall, High Street, Worcester, WR1 2EY. www. Tuesday 28th & Thursday 30th May Family Activity Days: “Servant Life” Follow our trail around the garden and learn about the jobs that Victorian servants did,. Then enjoy 'make and take' activities and have a go at some servant's activities. Booking not needed. Normal admission charges. Trail goes around the garden so wear suitable footwear. Assistance Dogs only are welcome. Small additional charge for the trail and the activities to cover the cost of materials. 11am to 4.30pm. Tel: 01527 821214. Per Item 60p (per make and take), Per Item £2 (per trail). School Road, Droitwich Spa, WR9 7EA. things-to-see-and-do/events/

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Traditional Upholsterers & French Polishers Cane and Rush work Loose covers and Replacement cushions Custom-made, renovation and repairs Choice of exquisite fabrics

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161 MJ Print Ltd


11:10 am


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Answers to Trivia on VILLAGER page 32: (1) A hen (2) Kirschto (3) Yes (4) Table tennis (5) Apples (6) A donkey35 Please mention THE when responding advertisers (7) 12 (8) Duke (9) A three-wood (10) Harry Secombe




AGE CONCERN & COMMUNITY CARE malvern Malvern & District Tel: 01685 560666 EVESHAM & PERSHORE Hereford & Worcester Tel: 01905 740950 UPTON-UPON-SEVERN 15 High Street Tel: 01684 593633

CHEMISTS EVESHAM Lloyds Parmacy Tel: 01386 48899 Morrison Pharmacy Tel: 01385 40610 MALVERN Boots The Chemist Tel: 01684 572905 Lloyds Pharmacy Tel: 01684 573811 PERSHORE Boots The Chemist Tel: 01386 556860 UPTON-UPON-SEVERN Talbot Cooper Chemists Tel: 01684 592637

CITZENS ADVICE EVESHAM & PERSHORE Wychavon CAB Tel: 08444 111 303 MALVERN Malvern Hills CAB Tel: 01684 563611

HOSPITALS Evesham Community Hospital Tel: 01386 502432 Malvern Community Hospital Tel: 01684 612600 Pershore Hospital Tel: 01386 502070


Evesham Bowler Lewis & Partners Tel: 01386 442804 malvern Avenue Veterinary Centre Tel: 01684 572420 pershore Martin & Carr Tel: 01386 553631 UPTON-UPON-SEVERN The Stocks Veterinary Centre Tel: 01684 592606 RSPCA Tel: 0300 123 4999 CATS PROTECTION Tel: 0845 3977074 RSPB Tel: 01767 693690

POST OFFICES Bishampton Tel: 01386 462873 EVESHAM Tel: 01386 423344 GREAT MALVERN Tel: 01684 573003 Inkberrow Tel: 01386 792201 Lower Moor Tel: 01386 861287 MALVERN LINK Tel: 01684 573634 PENDOCK Tel: 01531 650034 pershore Tel: 01386 552608 PEOPLETON Tel: 01905 840471 Upton Snodsbury Tel: 01905 381511 UPTON-UPON-SEVERN Tel: 01684 592634 WELLAND Tel: 01684 310377

TOURIST INFORMATION EVESHAM Tel: 01386 442348 MALVERN Tel: 01684 892289 PERSHORE Tel: 01386 556591 UPTON-UPON-SEVERN Tel: 01684 594200


RAILWAY STATIONS EVESHAM Tel: 0845 700 0125 malvern Tel: 0121 634 2040 pershore Tel: 0845 700 0125

EMERGENCY SERVICES POLICE FIRE AMBULANCE Emergency: 999 FIRE BRIGADE Worcester Road, Malvern Minge Lane, Upton upon Severn Tel: 01684 572948 Defford Road, Pershore Tel: 01905 24454 Merstow Green, Evesham Tel: 01386 466388 WEST MERCIA POLICE Victoria Road, Malvern Station Lane, Upton Queen Elizabeth Drive, Pershore Abbey Road, Evesham Tel. 0300-333 3000 AMBULANCE SERVICE Victoria Road, Malvern Tel: 01684 561556 Spetchley Road, Worcester Tel: 01905 764226 GAS Tel: 0800 111 999 WATER Tel: 0800 783 4444 ELECTRICITY Tel: 0800 328 1111

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Best Duck Joke . . . ever!


o this duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck!"

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

"Sounds marvelous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck. "Where is it?" "At the circus," says the barman. "The circus?" repeats the duck.

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."

"That's right," replies the barman.

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

"Yeah," the barman replies.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens every day for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.


Tel: 01789 491154


The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"The circus?" The duck asks again, "With the big tent?" "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck. "That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says . . . . "What the *%&$ would they want with a plasterer??!"

Vale Connection Ladies Chorus, based in Evesham, is celebrating a new, exciting musical director. Amanda Ballard, award winning opera singer has taken over the directorship of the chorus. The chorus has a recruitment drive and we meet every Thursday evening - all ladies are welcome to come along any time. We are really looking forward to the future of the chorus and expect to continue to fund-raise as before, raising tens of thousands of pounds for good causes. We are also looking for an Honourary President after the sad death of our last, Sir Norman Wisdom.

To advertise call 0845 224 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit

Index of Advertisers Accountants Crowthers 29 Focus Accoutancy 6 Jackie Richards 5 Paul Jenkins 18 Aerial & TV Services Aerial Services


Bathrooms & Kitchens A Job 4 John King Kitchens

11 23

Building & Construction Barnes Building Evesham Trade Centre Simon Haines Construction Welconstruct UK

19 26 37 23

Cars: Parts, Repairs & Sales Car Trade Direct Marshalls of Evesham Ltd Triple C Autos Limited

12 25 16

Electricians Avon Safe Home Ltd Craig Merchant Electrical MJ Print Ltd

37 16 35

M O T Marshalls of Evesham Ltd


Oven Cleaning Ovenclean


Pet Care Fern's Cattery Professional Paws & Claws Short, Bark 'n' Sides Whiskers & Woofers

2 9 5 33

Equestrian Services JM Paddock & Field


Fencing A Job 4 John JM Paddock & Field

11 4

Finance Cameron and Company


Funeral Directors E Hill & Son

Picture Framing Huxley Imaging



Photography BG Digital Photographs

31 16 9 11 23 25

Gardening & Landscaping Bowbrook Gardens 29 Luke's Garden Maintenance 13 Smartcut 6 Trugreen 9 Gifts Yuuki-Mitsukai


Plumbing A+ Plumbing C E T Plumbing & Heating J S Plumbing Mark Hartley Paul the Plumber

Haberdashery & Material The Fabrik Shop


Pubs & Restaurants The Berkley Arms


Carpenters & Joiners A Job 4 John Church Farm Joinery

11 31

Hairdressers Hair by Colette


Property Care C E T Property Care


Chimney Services Elite Sweeps


Handyman A Job 4 John Home Handyman

11 19

Roofing Services G.M. Roofing Timbrell Roofing Services

17 4

14 33 2 37

Second Hand Dealers MJs Real Deals

13 17

Health & Beauty ALM Fitness E F T Therapeutic Yoga Willow Spa & Beauty


27 5

Heating C E T Plumbing & Heating Mark Hartley

Skip Hire MHF (UK) Ltd

9 23

Shoes Humphries


Clothing, Repairs & Alterations Ice Cream Soda Vintage Clothing 18 Community Services Age UK - Help at Home Age UK - My Say, My Way Computing & IT Services Pendas CS Ltd Silver Training Decorators, Painters & Plasterers A Job 4 John Avon Safe Home Ltd Paul Cooper Dental Services Malvern Denture Centre Drainage & Waste Treatment Cleansing Service Group Education Pershore College

11 37 16

Interior Design & Soft Furnishings Pershore Rugs 37 Sunflower Soft Furnishings 13 Vision Interiors 35 Jewellers Jacksons Jewellery Ltd



Locksmiths Alcester Locks Avon Safe Home Ltd

29 37


Logs & Firewood Smart Cut


Please mention THE VILLAGER when responding to advertisers


Village Shops The Pantry, Peopleton



Windows, Doors & Conservatories Avon Safe Home Ltd 37 Cloudy2Clear Windows 7 ETC Windows, Doors & Conservatories 10 P J Home Improvements 28 Wood Burning Stoves Chase Heating Elite Stoves

22 19


Pershore Retail Market CHERRY ORCHARD, PERSHORE, WR10 1EY

01386 553232

Welcome to

t e k r a M e Pershor

CHILLISTONE s, salad egetabledifferent? , vsomething sh fi , ts Want a e m f sh e lots obags lso havscarves, e range of fre a g e u w h Beautiful jewellery, is a w e v o a kn h may not es. and As always, we servic & purses. Locally sourced s and but what you d , o le o b g r ila e a v th a o f handcrafted gifts for you and variety o and bread ering a wide ff o lls a st r e your home. Wedding & Party th o y the warm jo n e y, ll a c lo favours. Tel: 07894 716700 g y shoppin re open a nd money b ommunity. We c l a c lo r Save on fuel a u m o y y 9am - 4.30p and support a e rd m tu o a lc S e d w n a ly friend Friday ay, Thursday, sd e g times). n d e W ry e ev istmas openin below for Chr (see

We have all your Christmas needs covered under one roof, from your Christmas tree to your turkey.

Christmas Opening Times

HOCOLA Father Christmas will be at the market fromCSaturday 10th TEDecember BOUQUET Giftsonly with£2.50 - Come and visit Santa and his helpers from aS a diffeper rencchild, e. Pleincludes as e ca ll to discuss present. Profits going to theco Air Ambulance. lour schemes and choi ce of sweets or chocShopping olates. Ide-al4.30pm Friday 16th December – Late Night Christmas – 7.30pm gift for an y occassion. Monday 19th December - Closed Tel: 01386 554952 Tuesday 20th December – 24th December – 9am – 4.30pm PERSHORE SEAFOODS Wide variety of December the finest fresh fish and Monday 26th224 – Wednesday 28th – Closed 40 To advertise call 0845 7061 or 07754 170286 or visit seafood direct from the coast daily. Orders taken. Tel: 01386 555731 Thursday 29th – Friday 30th December – 9am – 4.30pm

The Villager May 2013  

Small business advertising and community magazine, distributed in and around Pershore, Malvern, Evesham and surrounding villages. 8000 copi...

The Villager May 2013  

Small business advertising and community magazine, distributed in and around Pershore, Malvern, Evesham and surrounding villages. 8000 copi...