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101 Relationship Questions: Ways to Know You’re Evolving The following are 101 questions for you and your spouse or partner to ask each other.

1.

Communication

2.

Our Happiness

When you get home from work, what are the three things you would like me to do or say in the first several minutes?

How much space or time do we need apart during the day? Week? Month? Year?

How will you tell me that you’ve changed your responses to any of these questions?

How long are we in this relationship for?

What do I say that makes you the most uncomfortable when we are alone together?

What will keep us happily together?

What do I say that makes you the most uncomfortable when we are together in public?

What need of yours will I never be able to fill or satisfy?

What are you tolerating about the way we speak with each other?

Why is that?

What about my voice or communication style makes you want to spend more time with me?

What kind of memories do we want to create together?

What about my voice or communication style makes you want to spend less time with me?

What do you expect from me that you really should be expecting of yourself?

How do you feel about arguing or fighting?

What has held you back, intimacywise, in your personal relationships?

What should I never say to you, even in anger or frustration?

Who do we know who has the kind of intimacy that we most want?

What will I have to say or do to get your attention when I’ve not been able to?

How much room or license do we have to ask each other to change? What changes do you think I’ll need to make in order for you to be really happy?

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.


3.

Our Relationship

4.

Our Reactions

What will be the early warning signs that our relationship is in trouble?

What is going to set you off?

How will we know if our relationship is over?

What can you say to me before this happens?

What activities and common interests can we develop that will bring us closer together?

What do you do when you feel hurt by me?

What are you willing to do with or for me that you haven’t been willing to do in any previous relationship?

How will I be able to be forgiven when I’ve done something that really hurts you?

What are your feelings about monogamy at this stage of our relationship? Is it possible that that will change over the next 10 years?

What will ruin our relationship?

Why are we in this relationship in the first place?

Which of my weaknesses have you totally accepted and no longer have a problem with?

Where will we be in this relationship five years from now?

Who do I remind you of? Is that okay?

What’s the biggest lesson you can learn from me?

What are three concerns you have about my emotional or psychological state or personality?

What’s the biggest lesson I can learn from you?

What habits do I have that are upsetting you?

What about our relationship will evolve us both?

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.


5.

What Happens If . . .

6.

Touching (nonsexual)

What will you do when you feel tempted sexually by another person?

What kind of touch or demonstration best says “I love you” to you?

What do we do if one of us wants sex and the other one does not?

What are the three parts of your body that you most like touched? How?

What will you say—or not say—if you cheat on me?

What are the three parts of your body that you most like massaged?

What happens if we can’t agree on something important that involves both of us?

How close do you like to sit when eating together?

How can we get both of our needs met when we want different things on a particular day?

How “touchy” do you like to be with me?

What do we do if both of us are having a bad day?

How “touchy” do you want me to be with you?

What happens if we’re upset with each other before we go to sleep?

How do you feel about public displays of affection?

What happens if one of us needs more space than the other?

Where should I not touch you? Why?

What happens if I can’t stand someone who becomes a close friend or associate of yours?

How should I touch you differently?

What happens if I get discouraged about our relationship?

How will you tell me when you need to not be touched for a little while?

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.


7.

Preventing Problems

8.

Sexual Discovery

What could I do that will cause you to pull away from me?

What is the ideal way for me to start the sexual process?

What’s our code word to use during a conversation or argument when one of is getting hurt and a time out is needed?

What five things work well for you as an aphrodisiac?

What can we do to avoid arguing or fighting entirely? Is it possible?

How will we let each other know what we want sexually?

When we argue, how will you take responsibility for your part of the problem?

How much time do you usually need to warm up?

What about our living situation is likely to give us a recurring problem?

Do you prefer sex in the evening? Morning? Daytime? Any time?

What about our personalities is likely to give us a recurring problem?

How many days between sex will be too long?

What about our financial situation is likely to give us a recurring problem?

How long should sex take, from beginning to end?

What about our children is likely to give us a recurring problem?

Do you like to talk during sex (dirty or conversational)?

What about our parents or family is likely to give us a recurring problem?

Besides the bedroom, is there any place else in the house that you like to have sex?

What about our work is likely to give us a recurring problem?

What’s the biggest sexual turnoff for you?

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.


9.

Sexual Preferences

10. Sexual Activities

Would you like to be more aggressive or dominant with me, sexually?

What are the five most sexually sensitive areas of your body?

What do you think I like most in our lovemaking?�

Is there something you really like to do sexually that you’re afraid I won’t like or will think less of you for liking?

What were the hottest sexual experiences you’ve ever had?

What are the five things you like most about my body? Why?

How important is hot sex to you in our relationship?

What drives you wild?

If I said you could do anything to me, what would that be?

What fantasy would you like to act out with me?

What about my personality is sexy to you?

If we did the same thing each time for sex, what would you want that to be?

Which sexual positions or acts are off limits forever and ever?

What do you most want to do after we’ve had sex?

Which sexual positions or acts are off limits, at least for now?

What are your favorite sexual positions and activities?

What is a fantasy of yours that I probably will never be able to fulfill?

What’s the kinkiest thing we’ll probably ever do together?

What should I say or not say during your orgasm?

11. And . . . What’s the most sacred part of you?

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.

101 Relationship Questions  

These thought provoking questions help you to take stock of your relationship and how it is progressing... or not!

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