The Good Stuﬀ 8&9
11 & 12 16 - 18
Melanie Dorsey, Elizabeth Bunbury and Tom Toy
Join Us Online! Be sure to visit our website often to see what’s going on with: Hot Topics Good Events Good Causes Good Eating… and more Like us on Facebook for good stuff updates and new contests.
28 - 31
Contact us with your story ideas or event information.
Slow Food, Chef Zack Gross, Recipes & More
Features 14 - 15 Achieving Goals on the Way to Great Health by David Foreman, RPh, ND, The Herbal Pharmacist
New Year, True You
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Kids on the Run
20 - 21
by local author Michelle Phillips
24 - 25 Guiding a Child to Have Vision by Pamela Settle
26 - 27 Remembering and Protecting in Sexual Abuse by Dr. Andrew Schmutzer About the Cover Lorraine Yaslowitz with her children. Her story is found on page 38. Photography by Corey Conroy. CoreyConroyPhotography.com
32 Families Can Stay Flexible Together by Pete Cosentino
33 Teaching Photography to Your Kids by Tracy Greene
The Winter 2012 issue is dedicated to the three St. Petersburg police oﬃcers killed in the line of duty in 2011: Jeﬀrey Yaslowitz, Tom Baitinger and David Crawford -- and to all those who serve and protect.
Get Your Passion Back in 2012
by local author Dr. Dave Clarke
Students Working Against Tobacco
by Kent Fernandez
WINTER 2012 Publisher Light Shine Media Group, LLC
Happy New Year and welcome to the RENEW issue of GoodLiving!
Editor-in-Chief Pamela Settle
Contributing Writers Dave Clarke, PhD Audra Dorsey David Foreman, RPh, ND Tracy Greene Pete Cosentino Kent Fernandez Michelle Phillips Andrew Schmutzer, PhD
Design and Layout Marcie Frieling
Account Managers Audra Dorsey Tory Perfetti Reall Whiteman Data Manager Tom Eckert Website WP by Design
GoodLiving™ Magazine & TampaBayGoodLiving.com P.O. Box 1795 Oldsmar, Florida 34677 (727) 776-3656 firstname.lastname@example.org
FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION email@example.com GoodLiving™ magazine is a publication of Light Shine Media Group, LLC and and is available to readers by a paid annual subscription available at www.tampabaygoodliving.com. Promotional copies are distributed through establishments as a courtesy to their customers and clients. Additional copies are donated to local schools as a community service. To request copies, contact firstname.lastname@example.org. All photographs, artwork, design and editorial are the sole property of GoodLiving™ magazine and Light Shine Media Group, LLC. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written permission. GoodLiving™ magazine and Light Shine Media Group, LLC are not responsible for statements made by advertisers and writers for any consequences arising from omissions or errors. Readers should verify the advertising information of the advertisers and all specials are valid to the expiration date set by the advertiser. GoodLiving™ magazine and Light Shine Media Group, LLC reserve the right to refuse any advertising for any reason. The views expressed in the publication are not necessarily those of the publisher. All rights reserved.
...from the Editor This time of year is exciting – with all the talk of eating healthier, exercising more, saving money, going back to school and spending more time with friends. Many people make resolutions with the highest of hopes for positive change. The intentions are strong enough to motivate an action of some sort like signing up at a gym or starting diet. Somewhere along the line, however, our hopes, intentions and goals fade as the daily grind of our “crazy busy” lives funnels us back into old patterns. As part of our RENEW issue for 2012, we wanted to oﬀer some inspiration and motivation to make this year diﬀerent. To make it a year of real vision of who you and your children can be. Be sure to read about how vision boards can be a tool in teaching children how set goals. Local author, makeup artist and former Channel 10 personality, Michelle Phillips released her book, “The Beauty Blueprint,” at the end of 2011. She graciously shares with our readers how that book came to be and some lessons learned along the way. Her message to “live your dream life” is a good one! The past year ended with troubling reports out of Penn State that rocked the sports world and parents everywhere who wondered sadly, “Are our children safe anywhere?” Dr. Andrew Schmutzer, a professor at Moody Bible College, himself a survivor of childhood molestation, writes about the dilemma we face as families and as a culture when it comes to sexual abuse. Just the other day, as this issue was coming to a close, a blog post circulated around Facebook purportedly written by a hospice nurse named Bronnie Ware. It is a touching and insightful report of the top ﬁve regrets people have when they face death. I thought it timely to share them as we encourage readers to move from having ﬂeeting resolutions to a life of vision where goals are set and achieved according to your true purpose in life. • I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. • I wish I didn’t work so hard. • I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. • I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. • I wish that I had let myself be happier. If you are on the path to repeat any of these statements, today is not too late to RENEW your life! Thank you for sharing your time with GoodLiving magazine. We appreciate the support we get from our readers! Please keep the story ideas coming and plan to stay with us through the year by subscribing to the magazine for you and a friend. Don’t miss one good thing!
news Think Local First! A key to having a sustainable and thriving community is for consumers to support local businesses. Not just retail, but all small business owners -- the ones who pay taxes, sponsor Little League teams, give your teen a summer job and know you by name. Small business is as American as apple pie, and by the way, that pie is likely to be ten times more delicious and fresh than the one at the mega store. So before heading out to make a purchase or obtain a service, small business champion Olga Bof, founder of Keep St. Petersburg Local, encourages everyone to Think Local First. Bof started the non-proﬁt to fuel the “buy local” ﬂames and help business owners get training, support and promotional help. They are an aﬃliate of the American Independent Business Alliance and working with full support of the City of St. Petersburg and the St. Petersburg Chamber of Commerce. Their oﬃcial launch party is January 31 at Nova 535. Go to Keepstpetersburglocal.org for more information.
Clearwater Natives Sail to the Summer Olympics
Sensory Friendly Movies
Graduates of Clearwater High School and siblings Zach and Paige Railey qualiﬁed for the US Olympic Sailing Team. The Raileys are products of the Clearwater Yacht Club’s youth sailing program and will compete multiple times in preparation for the London Games, July 29 – August 11, 2012. In between racing events, the pair will continue their rigorous training routine in the Clearwater area with professional coaches and trainers.
Families can enjoy their favorite ﬁlms in a safe and accepting environment. The speciﬁed auditorium has its lights up and the sound down. Audience members are invited to get up and dance, walk, shout or sing!
Brad Kendell, also a Clearwater High graduate, is competing to participate in the 2012 U. S. Paralympic Games. In 2010, he was named to the US SAILING’s Paralympic Team of the Year. Brad is also a product of the Clearwater Yacht Club’s youth sailing program. Supporting the local athletes are members of the Clearwater Yacht Club and interested community leaders. The group is in the process of planning fundraising events to help with our Olympic sailors ﬁnancial needs. Contact the Clearwater Yacht Club oﬃce (727-447-6000 or oﬃce@clwyc.org) if you wish to join the committee.
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
In partnership with The Autism Society, AMC Theaters oﬀer Sensory Friendly Films to families aﬀected by autism. The movies run on a monthly basis and local AMC Theaters are participating.
This program exists because a parent spoke up and asked to try it. The event was so successful, they oﬀer it nationwide. For many families, it’s a chance to experience a movie theater outing, perhaps for the very ﬁrst time. Ask your local theater for details.
Kimberly Home Fundraiser The Kimberly Home Pregnancy Resource Center is hosting its “La Dolce Vita” event on Thursday, February 2 from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at Espiritu Santo Catholic Church Parish Center in Safety Harbor. There is no admission to attend. Learn about how the organization serves women in the community. Enjoy sweet treats, wine and cheese tasting and more. Kimberlyhome.org
news February is National Children’s Dental Month If your family is trimming extras from the budget, don’t skimp on dental care for the little ones. In particular if you live in an area of Pinellas County where ﬂuoride was removed from the water, you’ll deﬁnitely want to have your child’s teeth checked for decay and possibly get ﬂuoride treatments. It might take a little eﬀort, but there are some ways to cut the costs. Check for dentists oﬀering ﬁrst-time patient discounts. Contact the health department dental clinic or investigate the dental training programs at PTEC and SPC. Every year, the Pinellas County Dental Association and Upper Pinellas Dental Association come together to support Give Kids a Smile. In February dentists and hygienists volunteer their time at several locations. This year marks the tenth year that their outreach will help kids whose parents are having some tough ﬁnancial times and can’t aﬀord to take their child to the dentist. On Friday, February 3 more than 450 participating children will be seen for dental screening, x-rays, cleaning and sealants if needed. On Friday and Saturday, February 17-18 children will receive prescribed follow-up care. Go to gkaspinellas.com for the application and review instructions on how to schedule your child or children to have a free visit to see the dentist.
Big Year for Voting If you’re school isn’t participating in Florida’s largest Presidential Mock Election for students grades K-12, then get them signed up! The mock election will be hosted using their DoubleClick Democracy online voting system and all participating schools will receive “I Voted” stickers to hand out after students vote. The Kids Voting Mock Election is administered by a teacher that serves as an “Election Coordinator” for their school. Election Coordinators will receive training via in-service and webcast training sessions. All voting takes place using the DoubleClick Democracy online voting system. It’s easy and very rewarding. Kidsvotingtampabay.com
Cool Classes Have a nice looking yard with less water
Xeriscaping Class in Clearwater
The Clearwater East Library at 2251 Drew Street has a class on Saturday, February 4 at 2 p.m. on landscaping using xeriscaping and native plants. The free program, led by master gardener Mary Sanders, is open to the public. For more information, call 562-4970 or visit myclearwater.com/cpl Is your passion smart money practices?
Florida Master Money Mentor Training
Participants receive about 20 hours of intensive training in financial mentoring, basic money management, strategies for dealing with financial problems, credit and debt management, savings, mentoring techniques and community resources. Home study required. Volunteers trained will be asked to mentor at least 24 individuals after of completion of training. Training is February 6 – 8 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Free. Advance registration required. Pinellas County Extension • 12520 Ulmerton Road, Largo (727) 453-6500 • www.pinellascountyextension.org Grow Your Own Vitamins
Vegetable Gardening Class
This class will include planting, growing tips and information on treating and preventing garden pests. Advance registration is required. February 11 from 10 a.m. to noon. Sponsored by the Pinellas County Historical Society. $5 each or $8 for two-person family. Heritage Village • 11909 125th St. N., Largo (727) 582-2233 • www.pinellascounty.org/heritage Behind the Scenes for Teens
Teens Behind the Scenes, Law and Order
This new monthly program, created for students by students examines the inner workings of Pinellas County government. Teens are invited to go behind the scene to experience first-hand what goes in to keeping the county running. All sessions meet at the site of the featured department. February session explores the roles of law enforcement, prosecuting attorneys, defense attorneys and the judge. February 22 from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. Free but registration is required. Pinellas County Criminal Justice Center • 14400 49th Street, Clearwater For more information call (727) 582-2656 Get Ready to Paddle on Spring Break!
Learn about how to paddle the famous Calusa Blueways in Lee County. Experts will teach how to explore
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nature by kayak or canoe, by sharing their experiences. Take advantage of this Florida treasure! February 24 from 6:30 to 7:30 pm. Free but advanced registration is required. Weedon Island Preserve • 1800 Weedon Drive N.E., St. Petersburg (727) 453-6500 • www.weedonislandpreserve.org One need not travel far to paddle blueways trails. Pinellas County has multiple opportunities for kayaking and canoeing, including Weedon Island that has a vendor for rentals. This is an excellent time of year to try it!
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Show Your Love Organic Style Use these products for your romantic Valentine’s Day dinner
for the appetizer... Italian Rustico seasoning
Added to low-fat cream cheese, the all-natural Italian Rustico seasoning creates a yummy dip for fresh vegetables. Gluten free and no MSG. Buy this and other organic seasonings, olive oils and Balsamic vinegars from local merchant Bill McCullough at the Saturday Morning Market in St. Pete. GourmetRusticItaliano.com
Create a salad and vegetable side dish with organic produce fresh from local farms. For a list of local markets and farms, go to GoingGreenTampa.com. Also, deliveries of local produce can be ordered from Magnolia Organics at MagnoliaOrganics.net or from Tampa Bay Organics at TampaBayOrganics.com.
for toasting... Low-sulfite wine
Shocking how smooth and delicious wine can be without all the preservatives. All wines sold come directly from small vineyards and boutique wineries and cannot be found in stores. They contain only naturally occurring sulﬁtes (up to 20 parts per million compared to 300-400 parts per million added chemicals and sulﬁtes found in many store bought wines.) Local independent wine consultant Carol Prokap says no headaches, hangovers or allergic reaction. Contact her for a wine tasting and information on how to buy. CallCarol4wine.com
for the steaks... Meyer Natural Beef
You’ll taste the diﬀerence in your steak dinner when you serve this steakhouse quality Angus beef completely free from added hormones or antibiotics, and fed on grasses for a leaner cut and ﬁnished with corn for a corn-fed ﬂavor. They have received the American Culinary Federation’s Seal of Approval and their products are certiﬁed humane. Meyernaturalangus.com
Order raw cheddar or raw havarti cheese to add ﬂair to your romantic meal. Jordan Rubin, author of “The Maker’s Diet” and “Live Beyond Organic” has just launched Beyond Organic, a vertically integrated organic food and beverage company. The cheeses are available through their website at Livebeyondorganic.com.
for dessert... Gluten-free Chocolate Cake
Rich, decadent and amazingly chocolate is the gluten-free cake from the GateauOChocolat bakery in St. Petersburg. Referred to as “heaven’s chocolate cake,” it is totally gluten free and made with fair-trade chocolate. Buy a whole cake or buy a slice. Make sure to add the sauce. Flourfreecakes.com
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
products Resolutions I resolve to have better posture. You can really be on the ball at work with this Balance Ball® oﬃce chair from Gaiam®. The chair’s design helps to strengthen core muscles and improve spinal alignment. Set includes ball, charcoal base, adjustable support bar, easy-glide casters and air pump. $120 at Gaiam.com
Hollywood physical therapist to the stars has written “Red Carpet Posture,” a book that gives advice and exercises to improve your posture, especially at the oﬃce. Good posture helps a woman to appear more glamorous by giving her a thinner look and greater self conﬁdence. $14.95 at Redcarpetposture.com
I resolve to spend more time with friends. Entertain on a regular basis and do it in style with this strapless apron that has a sweetheart neckline, ruﬄe trim and a constructed corset-like design which ﬁts though the bodice and is ﬂattering on most body shapes. Moms and daughters can look fabulous together with these aprons! $49.95 at Susanandveronica.com
I resolve to pamper myself more. The full line of products at BASQ NYC have addictive aromas and luxurious textures. Every product is rigorously tested for allergy and sensitivity plus they are all Paraben, Phthalate and Animal Testing Free. The Energizing Body Lotion is a cooling, energizing blend of Green Tea, Aloe Vera, Cucumber, Eucalyptus and Lavender for a cooling tingle that eases body aches, reduces swelling in the feet and legs and cools the body from “hot ﬂashes.” Lightweight and quick absorbing it leaves skin feeling soft and velvety. $22 at BASQNYC.com
Invite friends over and serve them homemade carbonated drinks with the Twist ‘n Sparkle portable sparkling device. Turn healthier teas, juices and water into more sophisticated bubbly beverages. The set comes with a bottle, charging wand and CO2 cartridges. Around $40. Replacement cartridges are less than a $1 a piece.
Pamper your spirit by journaling your thoughts for the ultimate form of selfexpression. And if you’re going to do it, do it right with a Sheic Journal! These beautiful journals can be customized. The spiral notebooks slip inside the leather jacket that is fabric lined and has a zippered pocket. A loop for a pen and a ﬂap that closes with a magnet make this a journal a treasure. Spiral notebooks lay ﬂat when writing and are reﬁllable. Leather covers are made in Oldsmar! Order from sheicjournals.com.
I resolve to read more to my children. Money Mama and the Three Little Pigs by Lori Mackey This beautifully illustrated book introduces the basics of sound money management and helps children develop a positive money attitude. Featuring adorable characters and engaging child-friendly explanations, the book helps parents teach kids the value of helping others, investing for their future, saving for retirement and spending their money wisely. $19.95 at Amazon.com
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Curious Critters by David FitzSimmons The book’s author is also its photographer whose stunning photos of common animals, reptiles and insects will spark a child’s wonder and imagination. David’s approach allows animals’ colors, textures, shapes, and “personalities” to shine through. White backgrounds eliminate distractions and help young readers notice clues about animals’ behaviors, diets, life cycles, and habitats. The author seeks to encourage conservation and outdoor exploration. $19.95 at Amazon.com
Achieving Goals on the Way to Great Health by DAVID FOREMAN, RPh, ND
1 It’s a new year and many of you are thinking about your health. It could be about losing weight, reducing the risk of heart disease or diabetes, quitting smoking or countless other things. Maybe you’re just tired of feeling sick and tired and need to renew your commitment to your physical and mental health. The following concepts for change are foundational and fundamental when it comes to achieving your goals. They can be applied to any goal you have, health related or not.
Define your goal Don’t just say “I want to lose weight.” Deﬁne your goal in a concrete way. Recently, I decided I wanted to lose more weight because I thought I looked heavy on television. I told myself I wanted to have the waist size I had when I graduated from college. Your deﬁnition could be, “I want to lose 50 pounds” or “I want to ﬁt into a size 8 dress.” Whatever the goal is, be as speciﬁc you possibly can.
2 Outline the steps needed
Getting Started To reach your goal, you must ﬁrst set your goal. Your goal should be reasonable. This may mean doing some homework on what is reasonable to achieve. An example of an unreasonable goal would be for someone who has spent the last ten years putting on an extra 50 pounds to set a goal of losing that weight in 30 days. If you did your homework, you would learn that you should lose a pound to a pound and a half per week, which means it may or should take you 33-50 weeks to shed those pounds. If you set your goal (expectations) to be in a much shorter time frame that would be unattainable (as well as unhealthy) and usually leads you to “give up” and fail. The following are recommendations on how to help you set and reach your goal(s): 1. Deﬁne your goal 2. Outline the steps needed 3. Set a timeline 4. Ask for Help 5. Consider possible delays or roadblocks 6. Reward yourself 7. Put it in writing 8. GO! 9. Don’t give up!
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Once you decide where you want to go, you need to ﬁgure out how you plan to get there. This is just like taking a family vacation. If you live in Tampa and want to go to New York City for vacation, you need to plan ahead. If I am driving, I need a road map or GPS to tell me how I am going to get there. If you currently smoke 20 cigarettes per day and want to stop smoking, you need to decide if you are stopping cold turkey or tapering oﬀ them slowly. You need to lay out your plan of attack.
3 Set a timeline Once you have decided the steps you are going to take, you need to place them on a timeline. My trip to NYC would include how far I want to drive in a day and where and when I will stop for overnight lodging, gas and food. Without a timeline, I may only drive a few hours and stop for the day and then it would take me longer to get to NYC. But, maybe I do want to go slow and see more sights. Your goal and your timeline to reach your goal are up to you. If you wish to stop smoking in 90 days, then you need to lay out your steps needed over the next 90 days to get you to your goal. This could include planning the addition of new habits or nutritional supplements, increased activity or whatever you come up with in your outlined steps.
4 Ask for Help If you are having trouble, consult someone who knows more about the subject than you do. You can ask for help on all aspects of your goal – from helping to deﬁne it better, outlining the steps, setting your timeline and showing you potential roadblocks. I am pretty sure that someone who has been in your shoes before is willing to help you get where you want to go.
Consider possible delays or roadblocks
This part of goal setting often gets overlooked and is a major reason people never reach their intended goal. Example: You want to lose 30 pounds in the next 7 months. You forgot to consider that your birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s all occur during this period and may aﬀect your timeline. Unless you commit to your program equally during each week, you need to account for these speed bumps. Or, you may get sick and not be able to get the activity you are supposed to for a week or two. There are many potential delays and you need to be aware of what they are and how to prepare for them. I have heard so many people say “I was doing great until….we went on vacation…I got sick…my son moved back in with me…” The list is endless. Like a boy scout- be prepared.
The next step I recommend is to set yourself in motion. Too often I run into people who “want” to change something in their life yet continue to do the same things day in and day out. For things to change in your life, You Must Change. Set yourself in motion means don’t just think about it or talk about it, but do it. I have been teaching my children that saying something is not as good as showing me with their actions. Too often we get caught up in the “daily grind” and lose sight that we still are in the same place we were months ago. The burden/responsibility of your change is yours and no one else’s. YOU only have only yourself and your GOD. No one else can get you to the ﬁnish line. The sooner you set yourself in motion, the quicker you will get where you want to go.
6 Reward yourself This should be a regular event. I practice what I preach, but I still reward myself (this is what I preach now). I may tell people to not eat reﬁned foods, but I may use sugar in my coﬀee or have a small piece of desert once a week. Whatever it is, reward yourself for good behavior. You should build this into your outline and timeline. For every four pounds I lose, I can take one day oﬀ from activity. Or, if you smoked a pack of cigarettes per day, you could reward yourself with some treat equal to the amount of money you would have spent on that habit. At about $4 a pack that would be $28 a week, $120 per month and $1,460 per year saved for your treat.
7 Write it all down Writing your goals out may be the most important step. Write down exactly what you want to achieve and post it in a place where you will see it every day. This will help remind you of what you’re working toward. When you write, use positive terms. For example, instead of writing, “I will stop eating junk food,” re-word your goal in more positive terms: “I will make healthy food choices.” Write down everything mentioned above. Keep it close to your heart and you will do great things with your health and your life.
9 Never Give UP! The ﬁnal step is: Don’t Give Up! My favorite story to tell my children is the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins the race. Just as I mentioned above, you need to set yourself in motion and then keep it going. If you fall oﬀ the wagon, get on again. I remember years ago when I realized one of the many things I needed to improve on was increasing my activity. I hopped on my exercise bike and lasted eight minutes, but I knew I needed to ride for 30 minutes a day. I didn’t quit. I stuck with it and every week or so I added time to my ride. I worked my way back into shape. If I had gone straight to 30 minutes, I might have hurt myself and then I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. Go slow and don’t give up! If you take time to utilize these tools, you can be successful with all of your health goals. In fact, you can utilize these tools in every aspect of your life to keep moving in a positive direction. Challenge yourself to constantly make positive changes, even if they are small. If the experts say it takes 28 days for any change to become a habit, then try to change one thing in your life every 28 days, whether it is becoming more spiritual, remembering to take your supplements, getting more activity or reducing reﬁned foods in your diet. Your eﬀorts will pay oﬀ for you and will come back to make you a happier, healthier individual. © 2011 Copyrights PILLARS OF HEALTH LLC
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
people For our RENEW issue, we are celebrating three individuals who have tapped into their own personal faith journey to help, love and inspire others in three distinctively diﬀerent ways. What they have in common is that they used their life situations and their gifts to build something that wasn’t there before.
She began putting her thoughts down in a blog. Brutally honest thoughts. “I promised God that no matter what I was going to be honest about what I was thinking and feeling. It occurred to me that He didn’t need me to protect His image.” While some people were shocked by what she wrote, she began to attract moms from all over the country who had lost children and were facing the same feelings. Through this informal ministry, she began to regain some strength, but she didn’t feel healed. “I was not afraid to die because I knew I would be with Andrew, but I prayed for God to give me strength to live again for my other children and my husband.” She began running at night so she wouldn’t see Andrew’s friends playing outside. She prayed as she ran and says that Jesus met her on her own road. “I knew my body would get stronger again from the running, but my spirit got stronger, too.”
It’s a mother’s nightmare. A perfectly healthy 12-year old boy is diagnosed with a brain tumor and after a whirlwind of doctors, four surgeries and a lot of prayer, this precious gift passes from this world into the hands of God in just four months. Andrew’s mom, Melanie, says she was confused then angry. A Christian speaker and teacher, she confesses she outright expected a miracle and when it didn’t end the way she wanted it to, the anger set in and she really had nothing to say to anyone. “People wanted me to just get over it. I think because they are uncomfortable with other people’s pain and don’t know what to say or do.”
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December 2011 marked two years that Andrew has been gone and in January 2012, Andrew’s mom started a local chapter of a running ministry called Run with Endurance in the Largo area for women. It’s a nine-week Bible study that opens with a run (or walk) and ends with discussion time. Open to any interested woman who wants to become stronger physically and spiritually. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Melanie currently has two inspirational blogs. One found at SeeMyMomRun.com is an encouragement blog for women who want to “Run Farther, Run Faster, Run Fearless.” The other, A Faith Endures, contains her thoughts on faith in daily life at MelanieDorsey.com. And if that’s not enough, she shares recipes and meal ideas on her Facebook page called Pass the Peas.
By day Tom Toy is a mild-mannered employee of Pinellas County’s 6th Judicial Circuit Court who is married with two children. By night, he is a combination of Superman and Saint. A man who can pump more iron than most; in fact he was part of a team whose 25 hours of working out with weights broke a world record. By doing so, they raised thousands of dollars as part of their 25 Hours of Awareness. In just two short years, Tom has spearheaded mission trips to Mexico to repair orphanages, held multiple fundraisers, traveled regularly to an impoverished community in West Virginia, built wheelchair ramps and saved at least two lives by raising funds for their organ transplant surgeries. Is Tom a part of a major charitable organization or involved in a big mission group? No. Tom and a few of his weight-lifting friends are the core group who drive Mission Time 4:13, a small non-proﬁt mission team. The name, Tampa International Mission Empowerment has as its mission to empower people and communities, both locally and globally. The 4:13 comes from Phil 4:13 --I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (NKJV) It started in 2009, when a small group of bodybuilders and other athletes decided to “move from being hearers of God’s word to doers of God’s word by ﬁnding local and global mission opportunities.
They didn’t need anything but God’s call to love others. No big organization. No strategic plan. That choice, however also meant no big budget to help them with their expenses. Their friends in the weight lifting and ﬁtness community were quick to respond whenever they placed tables at local gyms. The 25 Hours of Awareness raised $13,000. Not long after their Dine 4 Life event raised around $10,000, providing the approximately $9,000 needed to pay for baby Isaac’s liver transplant. “God placed it on our hearts to help the communities in McDowell County, West Virginia,” says Toy. Since then they traveled there with their strength team to do demonstrations for fundraising purposes and are working with pastors and other leaders to help them strengthen their communities.
We are proud to announce the launch of our new website and we invite you to learn more about the charities we support and how you can be a part of it.
LokeyCharities.com Our mission: Lokey Charities is to help children and youth reach their full potential by providing for basic needs such as food, shelter, access to medical care and positive mentoring. Our community partners for 2012 are: Homeless Emergency Project, Pinellas County Family First imom All Pro Dad Suncoast YMCA Big Brothers Big Sisters of Pinellas County
Globally, they have traveled to Mexico to repair orphanages. “We involved the children and they helped us with the repairs which made them respect their home even more. We went back to visit and the repairs are holding up pretty well,” said Toy. On January 29th, the mission team is holding an appreciation event to say “thank you” to supporters and to celebrate their successes. The star of the show will be Isaac, the young boy whose life was saved because he got the liver transplant. Top billboard gospel artist Johnathan Frazier will perform, they will award their first ministry mini-grant and more. The public is invited to the Best Western Bay Arbor oﬀ the Courtney Campbell in Tampa at 5 p.m. to come learn about this unique mission team and get involved. If you can’t make it, Tom asks for prayer for his ministry and for those they serve. Find out more on their Facebook page or at MissionTime413.com.
The website will share our upcoming events, like the 3rd Annual Lokey Charities Golf Classic at Belleair Country Club on May 11, 2012. If you are a golfer, register your foursome before the course fills up! If you are a business, we need raffle items donated, so please donate! If you are a generous soul who wants to participate in the blessing of giving, we have a place for on-line donations at the website! Proceeds benefit local charities. Also on the website are photos from past events and projects. View photos of the Habitat for Humanity home, dedicated to a beautiful family just before Christmas. Lokey employees helped to build it and then we showered them with gifts as our special way of saying, “Welcome home.” Find us on Facebook too!
people Elizabeth Bunbury a clay cross uniquely designed by someone else. Each one is diﬀerent. Some carry a word like, “Grace,” or have tiny handprints stamped in the design. “They are not perfect, they are ﬂawed like each and every one of us,” says Bunberry. “Everyone ﬁnds a cross that speaks to them and the stories that follow a cross are truly inspired.” It all started in 2008, when she made some handmade crosses People’s paths cross and we have inﬂuence for friends attending her 50th birthday on one another that we don’t realize. celebration, as a way of saying “thank you” A kind word, a smile, some advice or a to them for standing by her during a diﬃcult well-time gesture of kindness can change divorce. She saw how the women reacted to someone else’s day. The truth is we don’t the crosses, in particular one friend, who chose know what is happening inside people we the ugliest cross because her own faith was pass, but everyone has a story. “chipped and broken.” Sitting in an airport, Elizabeth Bunbury That experience started her on the journey, happened upon a woman who looked like and today she has a full-ﬂedged non-proﬁt she needed a friend. She stopped to oﬀer ministry. Her crosses are circling the some caring words and left the woman globe and the stories of timely giving and with a cross, a clay cross that someone else personal meaning are being collected on made with the intention that it would be her website. Each cross has a mustard seed given away to someone who needed it. and a registration number on the back. “The On that day, at that moment, that women needed a gesture of caring. A year later, the crosses touch several people along the way. In the studio, women bond and share woman from the airport ﬂew down from Indiana with friends to spend the weekend during the process of creating the crosses. People buy the crosses that speak to them making clay crosses with Elizabeth at her St. Petersburg studio. This “pay it forward” thinking is what originally inspired Elizabeth to start Answered Prayers Cross, a ministry that has touched thousands of people with
for personal reasons and then they give them away to someone as a gift or a loving gesture to a total stranger. Whatever the circumstance is, we encourage each person who touches a cross to share their story of hope, faith and love on our website.” Elizabeth, in earlier season of life, lived in fancy houses and took expensive vacations. “My life is so diﬀerent now. I live more simply but I live more richly. I’m happy and I’m doing something I love.” Elizabeth holds regular events where local women are invited to come to her studio to cut, carve and stamp designs onto the blank clay. The women who attend are inspired to make meaningful crosses and each one is as diﬀerent as the woman standing over it. The evening is one of fellowship, so Elizabeth holds it as a potluck and the $10 studio fee barely covers the cost of cutting out the hundreds of blanks. Each ﬁnished cross costs $10 to the buyer.
Sign up at AnsweredPrayersCross.org to receive notifications of cross-making events. Crosses are for sale at her studio located at 420 22nd St. South in St. Petersburg. She is also open to being invited to events to sell crosses and to share her story. She be can be reached at Elizabeth@answeredprayerscross.org.
Are you a Woman of Action? Find out more at TampaBayWomenofAction.com 18
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Five years ago, from the outside looking in, my life appeared “perfect,” almost glamorous, as I worked as a celebrity makeup artist and morning talk show host on TV. The reality behind that “show” was something few viewers could ever imagine. I had just gone through a very diﬃcult divorce and lost everything ﬁnancially. As a single mother of three I was living oﬀ of credit cards, until those ran out, and I was forced to turn to food stamps to feed my family.
NEW YEAR, TRUE YOU by MICHELLE PHILLIPS
And it may be hard to believe that living without money wasn’t the biggest problem I was having at the time but there was actually something deeper that was eating away at me. I felt that there was something missing from my life. I wanted to live my life with purpose, meaning, and according to who I was…not what others thought my life should be. Having nothing had actually provided some important clarity about what was truly important; I had spent my entire life as a makeup artist painting “perfect” images and in my personal life creating the image of a “perfect” life - but it was all so empty. I had the job, the kids, the husband, and everything else I thought I should have, yet there was one very important question that remained: “I want everything I have, but do I have everything I want in life?” Of course my children are my world, yet how could I raise them to live their best lives true to their dreams and passions if I wasn’t fully living mine? Having that realization was crucial and now mapping out exactly how I would get there was the next big task. Before I get to exactly how I did it and how you can too, it’s important at this point to mention that I ﬁrmly believe in divine timing. I also believe though that when it is your time to take action, take it with every bit of your heart and soul. When the time came for me to ﬁnally make a change in my life, I didn’t wait for the year to run out - I went for it!
Many of you believe that your divine timing takes place at the start of the New Year. There is something about this date that holds kind I have to start oﬀ by saying I love the Tampa Bay area and owe a lot of a magic that I would rather not take away but instead give you of my success to the support I have gotten since the ﬁrst day moving the power to make real. If you are like most people, you look at the New Year as a sort of clean slate from which to make everything here. I am eternally grateful for the “ﬁrst break” I was given to be the makeup girl for WTSP-Channel 10, which eventually led to the diﬀerent and right starting on January 1st. Oh, and this year, more than any other, it’s going to happen! You are going to throw away job as their Department Head of Makeup, and then connections those cigarettes, lose 20 pounds, get your ﬁnances in order, clean from those jobs that led to working with every major network and out the clutter, and generally tackle everything you think is holding stars from all areas of entertainment. I was also blessed to be given you back from experiencing your best life. Yet if you are like the the opportunity to move in front of the camera which became life 90% of people who made these resolutions you found yourself changing. What many don’t know is the struggles that have come abandoning these lofty goals by the third week of January. At some along the way and how I dealt with those obstacles to get where point every year you are probably asking yourself why success has I am now. I’d like to share a bit of that now as a possible source of inspiration to tell you that New Year’s Day, and any other day, could slipped from your ﬁngers, again. be the day that you decide you can do anything…and do it.
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
What I have learned is that wishing for the changes you want in your life isn’t enough, you need to be deliberate and intentional. To accomplish being true to your goals, passions, values, and to live a life that is authentic, you need three things: a plan, support and inspiration. Let’s tackle them in the order that I have found works best.
Inspiration. Sometimes inspiration can come from a movie or a mentor yet often I ﬁnd that the greatest inspiration comes from inside of you. Often the strongest motivator is overcoming our fears and knowing that we can do what we set our minds to. These fears to get past can range from fear of what others will think to fear of failure to the fear of not being good enough. I call this a case of the “what if ’s.” What if I fail? What if others think I am crazy? Well let me ask you this, what if you do take a risk and create the life you fully deserve and want? What if others stop and take notice and think… what am I waiting for? Take a few minutes to write down these fears and then the response to those “what if ’s” on the positive side.
Plan. If you think about everything great that has been done in this world, it took a plan. Every personal and professional milestone that was achieved took small, medium and big actions to accomplish the total task. Remember “one small step, one giant leap?” Start by dreaming for a minute. Not thinking or planning, but truly dreaming. What would your life look like if you had no limitations? What would the success feel like? Imagine yourself being there at every step of the process. Now add the next crucial step and away you go!
While doing that you might also be thinking, “looking at your background Michelle, what does that advice have to do with beauty?” I believe the answer is everything! When we live our lives according to who we are…deep down inside…according to our dreams and passions…we live more beautiful lives. And in turn, we radiate joy and love and happiness outward to the world. That is true beauty. Whatever you decide the New Year has in store for you, it’s important to know that the more you believe, the more “magic” will be real. When people ask if looking back just a couple years ago that I would believe that I’d have a bestselling book with the publisher of my dreams, and be inspiring people as a frequent guest on the most amazing shows on TV, I’d have to say yes! Make this your year. More great tips for deﬁning and living your beauty inside and out can be found in Michelle’s new, bestselling beauty and self-esteem book, “The Beauty Blueprint: 8 Steps to Building the Life and Look of Your Dreams”(Hay House, 2011).
Support. What are your resources to put your plan into action? For many of us, where we can get the support needed to achieve our goals seems like a hard question, yet I bet if you took a few minutes to assess who is in your world that might be of assistance, you’d be quite surprised. Take a few minutes with pen and paper to do some emotional networking. Who do you know that has already achieved what you would like to do? Who can you reach out to for advice, support, connections, and most importantly, to provide some accountability that will keep you on track with your goals. It might not necessarily be your inner circle, but someone who knows someone. Anyone who could be of value should be considered. I just can’t emphasize enough the importance of the support system. Good things become great when we do them together. One of my favorite authors, Dr. Christiane Northrup, calls it “assisted living.” As you consider all that I have mentioned, think about these aspects of your life that may be holding you back. Are you living your dreams? Do you know what your dreams are? How much are you letting fear rule your ability to dream or go?
About Michelle Phillips Michelle is a nationally recognized TV and radio personality, Life Coach, and the author of a new book from Hay House Publishing called, “The Beauty Blueprint- 8 Steps to Building the Life and Look of Your Dreams.” She can been seen on The Daily Buzz, Gal Time, Better TV, Head Drama, Daytime, HGTV, TLC, and the world’s largest website for women, Sheknows.com. She has been featured on over 50 national and international radio shows including Martha Stewart Living Radio as well as numerous publications. Michelle can be heard weekly on her Beauty Blueprint Radio show on www.HayHouseRadio.com. As a makeup artist she has worked with major networks and stars of film, TV, and music such as: NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, FOX, Katie Couric, Deborah Norville, Colbie Caillat, Jeﬀ Foxworthy, Doris Roberts, Dan Rather, The Fox and Friends Morning Show, and many more.
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
events Kids on the Run! To build a lifelong habit of ﬁtness, kids need to start being active early. Their bodies will actually start to crave activity. These events don’t require a commitment to lessons or any special equipment. Just get up and go!
Other events: Trevor Miller’s Mob 5k Run and 1mile Run/Walk Feb 4 • Saturday, 8:00am Treasure Island
Children Across Borders, 5k Run/Walk Play Unplugged
February 12 • Saturday, 8:00am Al Lopez Park in Tampa
March 10 • Saturday, 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. Largo Central Park
Belleair Sunset 5K and Fun Run
Along with the movement to eat healthier, there is a revival of old-fashioned outdoor play. It’s a good time to break away from the electronic toys and use imagination to move kids’ bodies and ignite their brains. City of Largo and the Recreation and Pinellas County Health Department, along with numerous sponsors and community partners are having the county’s biggest play date. Take your kids through eight play zones where kids lead the play themselves. Healthy food vendors and entertainment. Free admission and parking. Everyone is invited!
PTA Health and Safety Fair February 25 • Saturday, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Largo Central Park Attend the Pinellas County PTA’s Health and Safety Fair in Largo Central Park on February 25 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Always a fun event with vendors who have important information for parents plus loads of activities for children to move around. Stop by the GoodLiving table and get your baby booties shaking with some family Zumba lessons from Lifestyle Family Fitness.
February 18 • Saturday, 5:30pm Belleair
30th Annual Armadillo Run 10K, 5K and 1 mile Wellness Run March 10 • Saturday, 7:30 a.m. Oldsmar
Zoo Zoom 5k March 10 • Saturday, 7:30am Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa
33rd Annual Shamrock 10k, 5k, 1mile run March 18 • Sunday, 8:00 am Brandon
Strawberry Classic Run 10k, 5k, 1mile run March 24 • Saturday, 8:00 a.m. Temple Terrace
Chasco Main Street Mile Turtle Hurdle February 19 • Sunday, 9 a.m. Walter Fuller Soccer Fields in St. Pete Sponsored by TriKidsRock, this youth mud race series is the hottest race event around. A closed ½ mile course with 15 child-friendly obstacles and a little mud is a fun day out for your kids and their friends. No equipment and no lessons required. Just come out and play. For ages 4 to 14. Finishers get medals. Pre-registration is required. Register online. Information at Trikidsrock.com
March 24 • Saturday, 12:30 p.m. New Port Richey
Inaugural Scholarship Hustle 5k and 1 mile run March 25 • Sunday, 7:30 a.m. Tarpon Springs
Crusader Gallop 5k Run & Children’s Trot March 31 • Saturday, 4:00 p.m. Largo
Jr. Gasparilla Distance Classic run February 25 • Saturday, 8:30 a.m. Pepin Stadium in Tampa The Fifth Third Bank Too Good for Drugs event is a free race for children ages 2 to 10 at the stadium on the University of Tampa campus. Also going on: a craft area, the WQYK price machine, mascot appearances, face painters and balloon twisters. Distance increases with ages. Goody bags for all who register. Race registration found at Tampabayrun.com
Go to TriKidsRock.com for more information and links to registration.
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Guiding a Child to Have Vision by PAMELA SETTLE
“Every parent is a homeschool parent. We may send our children to a school for academic instruction, but the rest of the education happens at home.”
Among the numerous subjects are character development, etiquette, proper diet, exercise habits, handling relationships, hobbies, sports and so on. The quote above is from Renaye Thornberry, creator of a life skills curriculum for parents to use with their children. “Young children can be taught important life skills that will help them be more successful when they hit high school, college and beyond.” Among the skills that Thornberry teaches is learning how to make and reach goals. However, before you can make goals, you must have a larger-scale vision for who you want to be as a person, what you want to accomplish and how you want to be remembered. A popular tool used by life coaches for adults is the vision board, but it’s not just for adults. Kids as young as ﬁve are able to comprehend and develop a vision, vision board and goals. The activity of making vision boards is great for the whole family and something that can be done together to spark conversations about hopes, dreams and challenges for mutual support and encouragement, The board serves a visual representation of your priorities, shortterm goals and long-range vision. These cues create neuro pathways in the brain that bring results. When you can visualize the goals, you are increasing your belief that it can happen. Your brain starts to notice those things associated with your goal and you start to be moved toward those things. Have you ever bought a new car, say a red convertible and then started noticing how many red convertibles there are on the roads? Well this is part of the brain working the way it works. On a daily basis, it screens out what isn’t necessary and pays attention to what is relevant. Making sure the brain remembers what is relevant to you is a task that takes conscious eﬀort, research, planning and prayer. By putting those subjects on your vision board, you direct your brain keep your priorities and direction thereby reducing the chance of getting sidetracked by distractions, crises and other
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
What is my vision for my life? people’s priorities. Keep in mind that the clutter and busy-ness of life can very easily keep us oﬀ track and a vision board helps to maintain our focus and moves us toward our goals.
Children Can Do It, Too Children can be trained from a very young age how to be proﬁcient at setting and achieving goals that are, of course age, appropriate. They can also comprehend visualizing certain concepts. “A child as young as four can have conversations and understand what kind of person he or she wants to be in the context of their families, friends and school,” said Thornberry. She recommends having an open and exploratory conversation with your child. Ask questions like: “What kind of person do you want to be in our family?” “How do you want to get along with your sister?” “Do you want people to know you as a kind and generous friend?” “Do you want to be a good student?” “What makes you happy?” “If money wasn’t an object or failure wasn’t an option, what would you do?” “How do you want people to talk about you?” “What type of adventures would you like to have?” The visual representations for some of these concepts can be a little tricky. A suggestion for getting along with a sibling is to use a photograph of them hugging and smiling to trigger a memory of positive feelings and create a desire to generate that feeling on a regular basis. The next step is talking about goals can include statements like “I will to become a good reader,” “I will be a pitcher on the baseball team,” “I will get a new bike” and “I will to be an astronaut.” Make a list of all the vision and goals to help create the board.
Helpful Tips Be sure to guide the conversation, but make sure the goals truly belong to the child and not to the parent. A vision board that says, “I will obey my parents, eat my vegetables and never ﬁght with my siblings,” will be a dead giveaway. Save those parenting goals for your vision board! Also avoid letting the child choose only material desires, like wanting an iPad, expensive clothing or a big screen TV. Vision and goals, even for a child, need to encompass multiple aspects of life to help them be well rounded. Many will come from daily experiences, but don’t limit them to things that are practical. Make it safe for them for dream big and think out of the box. Hang the board in the child’s room and refer to it often. Be strategic and use their goals to help teach lessons. For example if a child wants to make the basketball team or play a solo in the band, then practice is important. When a child whines about practice time, you can use their vision board to reiterate priorities and remind them of where they want to go.
Making the Board Use a corkboard, poster board or foam core and some markers. Have something that can be accessed and changed over time. Get the list of vision and goals and determine what kind of visuals will best represent the goals and vision. Look for pictures on the Internet, in magazines or in family picture collections. Arrange them on the vision board and give them captions. Drawings, phrases, quotes or personal mementos can add extra meaning. Remember that visions and goals can change, so periodically update the board. Keep the conversation going year to year and be an active part of helping children plan for their future. Be an encourager, but also be the trusted advisor. Do what you can to seek resources and advice when needed. Share their enthusiasm. Expose them to as many learning experiences as possible, even ones that are new to you.
about vision , dreams & goals If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. -Henry David Thoreau Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals. Aristotle The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going. -Ralph Waldo Emereson The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach. -Benjamin Mays All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them. -Walt Disney To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. -Anatole France If you give your mind a $10,000 problem, it will fine a $10,000 solution…if you give it a $1,000,000 problem, it will find a $1,000,000 solution. -Jack Canfield
And always, always remember that it only takes a few harsh or careless words to crush a child’s dream. This is an excellent way to start the discussion early! The skills of creating vision and achieving goals will help children tremendously as they grow older and their goals get more challenging. In particular, the middle school and high school years are full of distractions, some of them destructive and deadly, so teaching a child to stay focused and on track could make the diﬀerence for their future. The same goes for college and beyond where these skills can hopefully spare them the regret that comes when 10, 20 or 30 years pass by and their life isn’t anything they wanted it to be. The resource used for this article was provided by Renaye Thornberry, creator of Adventures in Wisdom, a curriculum designed especially for parents to aid them in teaching life skills. Take advantage of the oﬀer to receive the free E-book about teaching kids about vision. Download the Vision skill book for free at this link: http://adventuresinwisdom.com/sign-up-vision-board In addition to the vision lesson, there are 26 other powerful personal development skills taught through fun short stories and activities. The lessons only take 15-30 minutes and an accompanying audio program is perfect for car time with kids – listen to a story on the way to practice… discuss it on the way home!
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Remembering and Protecting in Sexual Abuse
What ’s Your Role? by ANDREW J. SCHMUTZER, PH.D.
As a male survivor of sexual abuse (SA), I’m learning to face my own story. But as a father, husband, Christian, support group leader, and professor—it’s not simple to explain SA in these various contexts. I’m learning how remembering and protecting actually go together. Sometimes explaining my story to diﬀerent groups is like playing diﬀerent instruments. The settings may diﬀer, but people always have an expectation of what they want to hear. Recently, what’s made it easier is the wave of male victims ﬁnding their voice due to the Penn State scandal. Some people have asked me why these men are only now telling their story. These are called “triggered” reactions. Triggers can occur from movies, visiting old haunts or extended media coverage. Maybe this scandal and news coverage has helped someone (man or woman) ﬁnd their voice in your family, too.
The Process of Re-membering The healing process for victims of SA reconnects the pieces of their lives torn apart as a result of the trauma of abuse. Think of a survivor-friend you know and some of the struggles they had (or still have). Abuse is uniquely devastating for children when they are in the developmental stages of life. Trauma ‘fractures’ (called dissociation) the self. This is a response necessary for basic survival in horriﬁc experiences. Healing is a process because the victim must reintegrate these pieces of the damaged self. These parts-of-self include psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual elements—what make us people. Both the victim and their family community have a tough road ahead of them. If remembering is the painful task ahead of victims, then protecting is the responsibility required of family, society, and communities of faith. Victims have hope when they’re heard by those closest to them without fear of rejection. Unfortunately, a bad response from family, for example, can further damage the victim, delaying their healing. So here’s the rub: if we don’t want to hear the stories of victims trying to verbalize their painful stories at age 30, 40 or 50 (i.e., their remembering part) then do we really have a proactive mindset ready to listen, warn, and even develop policies to safeguard our children? (i.e., our protective role). Healing requires the victim and their family to work together. If you know a survivor, ask them about their journey of healing. I can tell you that healing is a process of re-membering. Pieces must be re-connected. Counselors, community organizations, supportive family, and empathetic spouses all have a role to play. Remembering without protecting ﬂaunts injury; protecting without remembering ignores the grieving process. It is common for victims to resort to protest. It is also common for the concerned parent to focus on the protective policies and forget it’s really about people. In other words, everyone wants guarantees, but abuse is messy for us all. Finding safety and healing can be a messy process. Those who speak of their abuse are “whistle-blowers”—some will face retaliation. One of Sandusky’s victims was bullied in school for speaking out. He left that school. How should he be remembered?
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Where Are The…Flowers? Tragic stories come in many forms. Here, I’ve learned something else: 10,000 cancers and 1,000 car accidents are still easier to talk about than one abused child. Why? Diseases are contracted; one has a car accident, but abuse involves two (or multiple) “whos.” We salve our discomfort by talking about bad circumstances rather than toxic relationships. Get the point? Powerless children don’t stand a chance. One in three girls are abused, one in six boys. A staggering amount of victims remain silent. Do the math. So while cancer survivors have ribbons, and soldiers have medals, neither ribbons nor rainbows, ﬂags or ﬂowers will commemorate the thousands of SA survivors in our families. Survivors have no parade in their honor or ritual of closure, and frankly, this is eating at society as much as survivors. Here are some ways to be proactive in a child’s life when it comes to SA.
The Proactive Adult • educate yourself about the predator’s mindset • ﬁnd a personal safety program for your child (this is not sex-ed) • talk to your child (e.g., no one touches what a swimsuit covers, etc.) • start with a “background check,” don’t end there • look out for children at greatest risk (e.g., special needs, children of a single parent) • don’t allow Internet chats between your child and an adult • include an experienced child-counselor in your list of emergency numbers • develop a “buddy system” for your child, for public places, showers, etc. Realize that when you have age-appropriate conversations with children, you’ve broken the silence already. Child-victims shouldn’t have the added burden of breaking their own silence, and most won’t. This has only compounded the problem, and helps explain why so many victims can’t muster the courage to speak until far later in life. There are a number of signs to look for, here’s a few.
Reading the Warning Signs Take notice if your child: • receives undue attention or “mentoring” from an adult • suddenly fears a certain person, place, subject matter, etc. • shows sudden anger, depression, isolation, delinquency, self-harm, etc. • shows a sudden change in dress and behavior • plays suggestively with dolls, draws erotically, or reveals adult sexual knowledge These kinds of behaviors warrant further investigation. Looking for such warning signs does not make you someone’s “judge,” it’s about training your “antenna” to read the environment of a child.
If you’re a parent, be vigilant. There is no vaccine against incest, no app you can download against SA. Here are some web-based resources and helpful books: • Adult Survivors of Child Abuse www.ascasupport.org • Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers www.atsa.com • Child Molestation Research & Prevention Institute www.childmolestationprevention.org • Diane M. Langberg, Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse (Xulon Press, 2003) • Wendy Maltz, The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse (HarperCollins, 2001)
If you’re a survivor, please seek out a counselor. If you’re a survivor and now a parent, don’t be afraid to ask for help. And if you’re a spouse of a survivor, give them a Flower of Courage, and make a new ritual, together. Andrew J. Schmutzer, Ph.D., has recently contributed to and edited a new book on SA, The Long Journey Home: Understanding and Ministering to the Sexually Abused. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock, 2011. It’s a collaboration of 23 chapters from 26 professionals (13 women and 13 men). He can be reached at email@example.com.
Additional Tips for Parents Teach children the correct terms for body parts and enable them to use the language comfortably. Ask “What if?” questions and teach a child how to respond in diﬀerent situations Have a “no secrets” rule in the house and enforce it with other adults who have contact with the children Encourage children to tell you whenever they feel sad or scared and teach them to trust their feelings
Recommended Reading A book for children age 4 and up, I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping your private parts private by Kimberly King. $9.95 at Amazon.com
Online Resources The following websites have comprehensive, yet easy-tounderstand information and printable resources for parents. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT PARENTS LEARN THIS INFORMATION SO THEY CAN PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN! Sexual abuse is unfortunately a reality. It most often occurs with someone familiar with the child, which makes a situation potentially complicated and uncomfortable. Children tend to be silent about the abuse. Please learn why and how you can teach your child to have open and honest conversations with you on any subject. Stopitnow.org Darkness2light.com Rainn.org (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Jfcadvocacy.org ( Justice for Children)
To address growing concern (and rightly so) among parents whose children participate in sports, the Stop it Now organization wrote the article “Sexual Safety in Youth Sports: Tips for Talking.” At the time of writing, it is on their homepage at stopitnow.org and available for download. They also provide the following questions any parent should ask a school or program where they child spends time.
Nine Questions to ask a school or program 1. What is the organization’s policy on child sexual abuse prevention? 2. How does the program screen staﬀ? 3. Are criminal background checks enough? 4. Do they check references? 5. What is their policy or code of conduct about interactions between employees/ volunteers and youth? 6. How do they monitor interactions between adults and children? 7. Have they considered safety in the physical environment? 8. How do they handle situations like inappropriate behavior or allegations of sexual abuse? 9. What training staﬀ and volunteers receive about preventing child sexual abuse?
Locally Where to Turn for Help The Suncoast Center for Mental Health is Pinellas County’s designated agency for sexual abuse intervention, treatment and counseling. They serve new cases of abuse as well as providing counseling for survivors of abuse that happened at an earlier time. The Victims of Crime Act provides funding that pays for most services, including counseling for incidents took place in the past for the primary and the secondary victims of the crime. The ﬁrst intake call is conﬁdential, so if you’ve ever had questions about an abuse situation, give them a call at (727) 327-7656. Suncoastcenter.com
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Slow Food Picking Up Speed
“My favorite Slow Food initiative this year was the $5 Challenge,” Mcdonnell-Kruger said. Slow Food USA asked people to put together a “slow” meal that cost $5 or less per serving. “SFTB chose not to make it a formal event in our area, as we wanted people to challenge themselves to cook up a personal meal or invite their own friends and families.”
by AUDRA DORSEY
The meal was a great success.
Fast food-you can ﬁnd it on every corner. It’s easy, quick and usually unhealthy. If you’re stuck in a drive-thru rut and think it’s time for a change, try slow food.
While you may not ﬁnd a slow food business on every intersection, there are local businesses who serve nutritious and convenient food.
Slow food is fresh. Slow food is local. Slow food is organic.
McDonnell-Krueger gives simple advice on how to get healthy.
Slow food is a movement.
Her number one tip is choosing fresh over processed foods. Also, she says to add a variety of fruits, veggies and legumes in your diet. “Visit a farmers market and see what they have in season and try something diﬀerent, unusual, like kale or patty pan squash.”
Slow Food is a worldwide non-proﬁt organization with local chapters including Tampa Bay. Joining your local chapter provides you with a resource to good food connections. You will also be informed of businesses who prepare food with local and organic ingredients, making slow food a little quicker for people on the go. The Tampa Bay Chapter of Slow Food (SFTB) was founded in July 2010. Founders include Gail Eggeman of St. Petersburg and Treasurer, Lianne Mcdonnell-Kruger of Tampa. Eggeman says the goal of the Tampa chapter is to promote healthy eating through education. “It’s like the best organization to belong to because it’s all about eating.” The movie, Fresh, is a SFTB favorite, shown 16 diﬀerent times at local meetings. Fresh highlights farmers and other individuals in the United States who are re-inventing the way we eat and slowing down our food.
Emmanuel Roux is a spearhead of SFTB. “A little bit of pleasure every day makes life worth living,” Roux said. Roux is a native of France who has lived in St. Petersburg for 19 years, owning two restaurants in the St. Petersburg area for 17 years before opening his bakery, GateauOChocolat.
GateauOChocolat is French for chocolate cake and he uses only Rainforest Alliance Certiﬁed Ecuadorian chocolate for the cake he refers to as “heaven’s chocolate cake.” This delicious gluten-free cake has been his specialty for two years.
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Experiment with diﬀerent ﬂavors and new spices and once you’ve found a recipe you enjoy, share it! “A strong sense of community is healthy for both the body and soul,” said Mcdonnell-Kruger. The next Slow Food Tampa event will be Sat., Jan. 21. It is a simulcast entitled Changing the Way We Eat. It is a nationwide TEDx seminar broadcasting from Manhattan. The event will take place at the Roosevelt 2.0 in Ybor. The event opens at 9 a.m. and the lecture beings at 10 a.m. A yearly donation of $25 is the Slow Food membership fee. There are other tax deductible donation amounts which give you membership benefits such as discounts on books and resources. To learn more about how you can join the Slow Food movement go to www. slowfoodusa.org and make sure to check out the Tampa Bay chapter by visiting www.slowfoodtampabay.org and www.facebook.com/slowfoodtampabay.
He also makes pâté which is gluten, wheat and yeast free. Roux is in the process of being CSA certiﬁed. The Celiac Supre Association will certify his kitchen as completely gluten, wheat and ﬂour free. Passionate about having a healthier food supply for everyone, Roux has more Slow Food plans for the future. His goal is to obtain an incubator kitchen for local chefs and startup businesses to have a place to cook and package their food. He’s an advocate for community gardens. He also wants to educate youth and expand their palate. GateauOChocolat is located at 1120 Central Ave. St Petersburg. His baked goods are for sale online as well. You can place orders at www.ﬂourfreecakes.com The most rewarding part of opening his bakery, Roux says, has been getting calls or emails from people who really appreciate his gluten-free products.
See more good events or send us info about your event: TampaBayGoodLiving.com
eating Local Chef Cares About What We Feed Kids Z Grille Owner Zack Gross stands holding his four-year old daughter Zen Zoey (note the Z’s!) while other preschoolers bop around with balloons, adding a little extra giggling to the stylish St. Pete restaurant. The occasion was to celebrate a visit by cookbook author, Fanae Aaron, who wrote, “What Chefs Feed their Kids,” winner of the NPR Cookbook of the Year in 2011. Chef Zack contributed two recipes to the book. “As a new mom learning to cook for my son, I wondered if the children of chefs said that vegetables were icky or gross,” said Fanae about how she got the idea for the book. Along her coast-to-coast journey she got to know some of the country’s best chef ’s and gained some valuable insight, which is shared in the book, along with recipes for diﬀerent age groups from infants to adolescents. One of her favorite suggestions is to make tasting new ﬂavors and foods a cultural experience for the whole family. “Why not learn about the cultures and customs of Morocco when sampling Moroccan fare? It makes it a more interesting experience and opens their world a little wider.” Chef Zack agrees that expanding palates is important for not only developing a taste for a variety of healthy foods, but for developing a love and appreciation for food in general. “Whenever I cook something new at home Zen has to at least try it. If she doesn’t like it then she has the option of eating fruit instead.” As a result, Zen has developed a wide variety of tastes beyond chicken nuggets, French fries and pizza, three staples found on the typical children’s menu at all types of restaurants. Z Grille’s children’s menu shares the same delicious food found on the adult menu but in smaller portions. The enchilada ordered was a burst of ﬂavor and gooey goodness, served rice and beans that were equally tasty. The ﬁve-year old it was ordered for cleaned his plate and said, “Mommy, that was delicious!” Among the other choices: Grilled shrimp with vegetable risotto, soft taco (chicken, pork, beef, shrimp or ﬁsh) and homemade chicken strips made with natural chicken. Seasonal vegetables, rice & beans and salad are side dishes. While Z Grille is not a family-style restaurant with family dining prices, the food is fresh, delicious and worth the visit, even for younger diners. Find it at 104 2nd Street South in St. Petersburg. ZGrille.net
Both recipes courtesy of Chef Zack Gross of Z Grille
served with acorn squash skins and whole Roasted Shiitake Mushrooms Chipotle Compound Butter yield 4-6 steaks Ingredients: 2 heads cauliflower 3 whole Acorn Squash 1 ½ lbs of Shiitake Mushrooms Fresh Herbs, minced, like thyme, rosemary, sage 1 cup minced garlic 1 cup oil (dealer’s choice) ½ cup grated Manchengo cheese 1 lb butter 1can Chipotle peppers 1 bunch cilantro Salt and Pepper Directions: Soften butter and mix ½ cup garlic minced, can of chipotle peppers, cilantro and S&P. Mix well then refrigerate. Trim sides of cauliflower and cut into one-inch-thick steaks (2 or 3). Marinate cauliflower in herbs, garlic and oil. Gently so they don’t fall apart. Clean and quarter acorn squash. Take out seeds and roast in oven (375) for about an hour. Sprinkle on cheese and broil until they look like potato skins. Place Cauliflower on a Hot Grill and cook like a steak flipping only once (don’t play with it). At the same time, place mushrooms in a 400 oven for about 15 min. depending on their size. Add S&P and butter to taste. Serve cauliflower topped with chipotle butter on the plate with squash and mushrooms. Enjoy!
Avocado and Crab Salad yield 6 portions Ingredients:
1 jicama, diced 1 red onion, diced 1 red pepper, diced 2 stalks celery, diced 1 jalapeno, seeded and minced (optional) 1 lime, juiced 1 lb crab meat (lump) 1 cilantro (bunch), remove stems salt & pepper to taste 3 avocados, cut in half Mix first 9 ingredients together with dressing (recipe below). Serve atop avocado half.
Dressing: What Chefs Feed Their Kids is available at Amazon.com for a discount oﬀ the $24.95 list price.
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½ cup whole grain mustard 1 cup mayo 1 Tbsp Choloua hot sauce 1 stalk celery, minced I red pepper, minced 2 Tbsp garlic, minced 1 jalapeno, seeded and minced ¼ cup lemon juice salt & pepper Cut veggies by hand (no food processors or the dressing will be runny.) Mix to toss with salad.
eating Stuﬀed Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Do not de-cap the strawberries, they look better if you don’t. Cut desired number of strawberries in half length wise, hollow out a small cavity in the top part of center (picture shown). Pat dry the strawberries. Mix together 4 oz of cream cheese with 3 to 4 Tbsp of Orange Blossom Honey. Put 3 or 4 Tbsp of Cocoa Creamed Honey* in a bowl and, microwave 2 to 3 seconds. Careful, if it gets to warm it will be soupy. Coat back and bottom of strawberries with chocolate using a large spoon to help with dipping. Put on wax paper. Use a decorating bag and tip or spoon to dollop cream cheese mixture on top of strawberry. Chill until they they set up. Recipe courtesy of Judi Fisher of Fisher Honey Bees, a local company providing fresh ingredients. Fisherhoneybees.com *Cocoa Creamed Honey tastes like a Tootsie roll and is low-fat.
What’s for Dinner? Those three dreaded words most women hear every day Have you ever wished someone could tell you exactly what to cook for dinner, exactly what you need to buy at the grocery store, tell you in advance how much it is going to cost, give you the recipes and even help you take advantage of the weekly sales? Granted a personal chef would be better, but e-mealz.com comes a close second to having real hired help. When you sign up for e-mealz, they send you a weekly meal plan based on which store you shop at, how many you feed and whether or not you have a special diet. You will be emailed an easy-tofollow plan for an entire week with recipes, shopping list, prices and staples you’ll need like salt or foil.
KewlBites Makes Good Food Kewl for Teens Popularly recognized for his role as Nevel on Nickelodeon’s iCarly, teen actor Reed Alexander is following his passion for creating his own healthy lifestyle and inspiring other young people to follow suit.
Do you have dietary requirements? If so, they have these specialized meal plans: gluten free, low carb, low fat, portion control, vegetarian, natural & organic.
His food and ﬁtness website, KewlBites.com, houses healthy recipes, exercise tips, celebrity interviews and more geared toward ‘tweens and teens in a way that sets a responsible example and makes living healthy kewl. His blog posts encourage independence such as how to eat healthy at school or how to make your own healthy breakfast. He develops and writes his own recipes in a kitchen he refers to as his science lab and sells his own KewlDeck recipe cards.
For less than $60 a year, you’ll have 52 weeks of meals plans and some help with budgeting. Gift certiﬁcates are available, too, and would make a practical gift for anyone who would appreciate the help. Now, if only they sent someone to do the dishes.
A teen doesn’t need to be a fan of the TV show to enjoy his approach to living and learn from his example. His passion for encouraging young people to eat better and be more active landed him the real-life role as Champion for the Alliance for a Healthier Generation.
Locally you can choose Publix, Aldi, Whole Foods or Walmart Supercenter. There is an “other store” category as well. Their store speciﬁc plans are constructed around weekly grocery store sales and seasonal specials to help cut costs without having to cut coupons.
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
3 Fun, Kid-Approved Stretching Ideas Do Yoga Together Use your imagination by performing a series of animal poses and pretend you’re in the jungle. It’s a fantastic way to make stretching fun. Choose animal poses like Gorilla Pose, Eagle, Downward Dog, Cobra, Frog and more. As they do the pose, have your kids make an animal sound. Another option is to create a story and have each stretch be the next piece of the story, you (the parent) do it ﬁrst and the child follows. There are many poses that will make great stories! For example, Airplane, Butterﬂy, Tree, Warrior, Half-moon and Mountain to name a few.
Families Can Stay Flexible Together
You can do a diﬀerent workout every time and increase your body’s ﬂexibility, strength and endurance.
by PETE COSENTINO Stretching is an important part of any ﬁtness program and vital for your family’s performance and health. Personal trainers recommend that all ages stretch their body through a “dynamic warm-up” before any exercise begins and in many cases – after every workout. Warming up goes a long way toward preparing the body for exercising, both physically and mentally. Its purpose is to move the body so it’s ready for a total body workout without the risk of injury or pulling muscles. It’s actually meant to feel like part of your workout and may even give you that “burn” if you’re new to exercising regularly. Your stretching session can last between 5-10 minutes.
Score with Sports
A simple example of a dynamic stretch is “arm circles” – this improves ﬂexibility of the shoulders and arms. How to do it: Extend your arms out to each side and rotate in a circle continuously for 30 seconds.
Go Go Go
How to Stretch Effectively:
If your kids are fans of a speciﬁc sport, develop a family “team” stretching session based on the stretches a sports player would actually do. Incorporate sports-themed moves, for example, the overhead arm stretch resembles a touch down signal. Are your kids full of energy? Keep your kids moving with stretches that increase activity and dynamic ﬂexibility. For example, jumping jacks, lunges and high knees. Make it even more fun by creating an obstacle course and giving out prizes when your child completes the moves.
• Maintain each stretch for 30 seconds. • Avoid bouncing. This may cause injuries to muscles. • Keep breathing and relax! • Stay even — stretch both sides.
Most importantly, keep it fun and your kids will be ready for more ﬁtness games.
Stretching is beneﬁcial for the whole family. Here’s just a few ways to get everyone involved in some ﬁtness fun!
• Improve posture • Prevent injury • Improve ﬁtness performance • Relaxes muscles • Improve circulation and range of motion • Convenient — requires no equipment
Pete Cosentino is the Vice President of Product Development at Lifestyle Family Fitness and a certified personal trainer.
Benefits of Stretching: • Increase ﬂexibility
Stretching is important for every member of the family from toddlers to grandparents. Whether you’re gearing up for a game on the Wii or warming up before a soccer game, remember to stretch, the beneﬁts go a long way!
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Teaching Photography to Your Kids by TRACY GREENE
One of the best pieces of technology you can buy a child is a digital camera. Compared to hand-held gaming devices, it can be a relatively inexpensive gift and open their world to artistic creativity. Teaching photography to kids is also a great way to spend quality time with them. In this digital technology age kids pick up on electronic gadgets faster than we could ever imagine and they might even end up teaching you a thing or two about your camera. Below are a few tips that will help you engage your kids in the joys of photography.
Instant Gratification With today’s digital cameras, kids love the instant gratiﬁcation of seeing their photo or video immediately after it is taken. Use it as a teaching tool. Talking about how to make a great photo of something is one thing, but being able to show it and explain it immediately makes it a real learning experience.
Sharing Your Hobby with Kids If photography is your passion, then it may become their life-long hobby as well. Talk about the basics of making a great picture: lighting, composition, and capturing a moment so kids can experience the excitement and satisfaction of making a beautiful photo.
Make it a Reason to get Out Since you can go out and “shoot” with your kids, it’s a great way to spend quality time with them in some interesting places. Whether it’s in your own backyard or to an exotic location, it can become an experience you both will not only remember forever, but will have the photos as keepsakes.
See Things from a New Perspective As we get older and somewhat “wiser,” we often become more cautious. We know that if we do certain things with our camera it might not work out. We know this from experience, which can sometimes be unfortunate when it comes to your photography. Sometimes the less you know, the more free you are with a camera and the results can be pictures that are breathtaking. Kids also bring a diﬀerent perspective to photography because they see the world from 3-5 feet oﬀ the ground. Encourage kids to take it a step further by trying to photograph everything they see from their dog or cat’s point of view. It’s a great exercise for kids and the photos will be really unique.
just another plain photo of them smiling at the camera. They will pick up on this quickly and start to look for those moments to capture as well. Tell them to shoot a lot. Taking one picture and walking away can often lead to disappointment. With today’s “shoot all you can and simply delete the ones you don’t want later” attitude, it’s a great way to teach them how to “work a subject.”
Make it Fun Photography scavenger hunts can be a fun way to get kids out shooting and looking for diﬀerent things to photograph. Give them assignments like patterns, shapes and colors to look for. Tell them they need to photograph something red, something that is alive, or something wet. You’ll be amazed at how creative kids can be when they are on “assignment.” You can search for the subjects together and challenge each other to make creative images.
Teaching kids the basics like when to use ﬂash, when to turn the ﬂash oﬀ, and then to always break those rules and experiment can help them create successful pictures. Showing them on a piece of paper the Rule Tracy Greene is a professional photographer and of Thirds and how to take your subject out contributor to TakeGreatPictures.com. Article is of the center of the photograph will also exclusive to GoodLiving magazine. help them make photos they think are cool. Take some time to explain the idea of capturing a moment in your photographs. Take a photo of them just looking at you and then tell them a joke and take a few photos of them laughing. Use the back of the camera to show them how the laughing photos capture a true moment and are much more fun than
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Get Your passion Back In 2012 RENEW YOUR MARRIAGE
by DAVID CLARKE, Ph.D.
I’m going to ask you some very important questions about the level of passion in your marriage. Has your pizzazz pooped out? Has the va-va gone from your voom? Has the pep left your party? Have your snap, crackle and pop become more of a thud, whimper, and a yawn? If your passion isn’t what it used to be, don’t feel too badly. In fact, join the club.
Passion Principle #2:
The loss of passion happens to just about every married couple ﬁve to fourteen years after the wedding. Your infatuation – which is good only for getting you married – runs out. Communication problems crop up. Male-female diﬀerences surface. Annoying habits become increasingly apparent.
Overkill, you say? Wrong, according to the Bible. Shulamith compliments Solomon throughout the Song of Solomon. Shulamith knows that when a man is complimented, he feels loved. He feels passion for the “complimenter.”
If all these factors aren’t enough to snuﬀ out your passion, having one child will get the job done. You can get your passion back – better and deeper than ever – by following the example of Solomon and Shulamith in the Song of Solomon. This book in the Bible is the greatest love story ever told. Here are three of the action steps that will help you get back to being crazy in love.
Passion Principle #1:
Men, Listen to Your Wife Solomon makes time to be alone with Shulamith. He wants to know her. Not just her body, but all of her. He listens, really listens, to her. Every woman wants, actually needs, a man like this. When a woman is listened to, she feels loved. She feels passion for the listener. One of the sexiest things in the world for a woman is to be listened to by her man. So, Men: Do what Solomon does. Create regular private time with your wife. This is not for making out, groping, or having sex with her. That may come later. This is conversation time. Schedule four thirty-minute Couple Talk Times per week. Use a private, quiet place in your home. Just the two of you. No distractions. No kids. No pets. No television or computer. No phone. Be an active listener. Solomon is completely focused on Shulamith and what she is saying. That’s your job. If you listen in silence, she’ll think you’re not listening, and so will keep repeating herself. Believe me, you don’t want that. Reﬂect what she’s saying; this means feed back to her key words and phrases and emotions.
Women, Compliment Your Husband Often, Frequently, All the Time
So, Women: Do what Shulamith does. Again and again, she goes on rants of praise for Solomon. She reels oﬀ compliments for his physical body and his character. Your man wants to know that you ﬁnd him physically attractive and impressive as a person. You simply cannot compliment your man too much. Compliment him at least once a day. Praise physical characteristics, a character trait, a spiritual quality, or something he’s done for you.
Passion Principle #3:
Put God at the Center of Your Relationship In Song of Solomon 8:6-7, Shulamith gives a wonderful description of the passionate love she shares with Solomon. She says that their love “. . . burns like blazing ﬁre, like a mighty ﬂame.” This literally means “the very ﬂame of the Lord.” What she’s saying is that the source of their passionate love is God. To have God be the source of your passionate love, you need to put Him at the center of your relationship. One way to do that is to pray as a couple regularly. Do a ﬁve-minute prayer time during each of your Couple Talk Times. Make a list and pray one at a time, holding hands. God will bless you with spiritual intimacy that ﬂows directly into a whole new level of emotional and physical passion. If you want a permanent passion in your relationship – and I know you do – do what the Song says.
David Clarke, Ph.D., Tampa psychologist, speaker, and author of nine books including Kiss Me Like You Mean It and I Don’t Want a Divorce. Check out his weekly marriage blog at davidclarkeseminars.com
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1
Students Working Against Tobacco by KENT FERNANDEZ
What if I told you that tobacco will kill 443,000 Americans this year? They will be mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, friends and family. What if I told you that the tobacco companies are targeting teens to replace the 1,200 smokers that die everyday. An estimated 3,500 children will try their ﬁrst cigarette and 88 Floridians will die every day due to their addiction.
The tobacco companies can’t aﬀord to lose their valuable “replacement smokers,” so The truth is 90% of smokers begin before the they decide to pique interest with these new age of 18. Yes, nine out of every ten smokers and “tasty” products. A poll conducted in began using tobacco before the legal age of March 2008 found that one in ﬁve young18. This is no mere coincidence. The tobacco sters between the ages of 12 and 17 had seen companies have been targeting youth for ﬂavored tobacco products or ads, while only decades; a 1972 Brown & Williamson report one in ten adults reported having seen them. suggested the development of Cola and An American Legacy Foundation study of apple ﬂavored tobacco products. young teen smokers between the ages of 13 The report also stated, “It is a well known fact that teenagers like sweet products. Honey might be considered. Their goal was to increase teen curiosity to try smoking and also lessen the displeasing taste of tobacco.
and 18 showed that 52% of smokers who had heard of ﬂavored cigarettes reported an interest in trying them, and nearly 60% thought that ﬂavored cigarettes would taste better than regular cigarettes.
In 2009, President Barack Obama signed the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act. This law prevented the sale of ﬂavored cigarettes other than menthol. In order to keep their grip on youth, the tobacco companies came out with new products and new ﬂavors. At your local convenience store, you can now ﬁnd ﬂavored cigars, blunt wraps, cigarillos, chew tobacco and new spitless tobacco products. These products are featured in an array of shiny colors and fruity ﬂavors such as melon, grape, and cherry. Often these are found “by chance” next to candy displays.
The Tobacco Free Coalition of Pinellas County and Students Working Against Tobacco have been working together with local decision makers and state legislators to make progress on the issue of candy ﬂavored tobacco. Pinellas County Commissioner Susan Latvala has spearheaded this eﬀort and at the end of September the Board of County Commissioners passed a resolution that “urges all local retailers of tobacco products, where youth have access to their store or merchandise, make every eﬀort to stop youth from accessing or acquiring said products.”
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We will continue to educate local decision makers about the issues surrounding ﬂavored tobacco products and encourage them to pass similar resolutions. This is just the ﬁrst step toward a healthier and tobacco-free future, but we can’t do it alone! We need you to take a stand! Help us by contacting your city commission or council and expressing your support for a resolution on this issue. United, we can surely reach a safer and healthier tomorrow for future generations.
Kent Fernandez, is involved with Students Working Against Tobacco (SWAT) at Lakewood High. SWAT is Florida’s statewide youth organization working to mobilize, educate and equip Florida youth to revolt against and de-glamorize Big Tobacco. They are a united movement of empowered youth working towards a tobacco free future. To get involved with a SWAT club, go to gen-swat.com
My Story …One Year Later
by LORRAINE YASLOWITZ
My story began on October 19th, 1970 at 10:29 a.m. That’s when the Lord gave me breath and a will to begin life on this earth. As He gives everyone a purpose, mine becomes more clear to me as I continue my journey. On February 7th, 1992, I met my future husband and love of my life. As our friendship blossomed, we discussed the purpose of life and discovered we both agreed that earth is a prerequisite to where we will be for eternity. We felt the Lord’s choosing on our relationship and married in August 7th, 1993. We began the marriage we had hoped for. I became a teacher in 1996 and was very satisﬁed with my career choice as I became a more conﬁdent and competent teacher. Jeﬀ, however, took longer. It wasn’t until 1998, that he truly felt called. As he began his career in law enforcement, he continually felt a strong desire to be on the K-9 unit. In October of 2008, he attained his dream and became “K-2” for the St. Petersburg Police Dept.
We had 3 beautiful children, a beautiful home and an incredibly strong respect and love for one another. I felt like we had it ALL. I recall a conversation we had one beautiful day, sitting out by our pool. I had stated how incredibly blessed we were. In as much as he agreed with me, he said, “Heaven is still better.” I agreed, but my reply was, “I know we will be in heaven one day, but I hope we are able to live out this life with great-grandchildren. He replied back, “but don’t you get it, Heaven is still better than even all of this.” I just knew in my heart that one day, our Heavenly Father was going to test us because the equation is quite simple; strong faith, lots of blessings equals a great opportunity for the Lord to show His power and love. On January 24th, 2011, at 7:29 a.m., the Lord took Jeﬀ home during a shootout while assisting a search warrant for a wanted felon. The Lord knew. The plan to take Jeﬀ home earlier than I or anyone else ever expected was known before I drew my ﬁrst breath. Now I have the honor and responsibility to tell others the indescribable peace and true joy that you can have ONLY through the power of the Holy Spirit, even in the midst of human tragedy and sadness. During this ﬁrst year, God has used countless ways to show me how He and Jeﬀ are taking very good care of me and our family. Would I take 1/24/11 back? Of course my human side says the obvious, “Yes!” But I know, beyond the shadow of any doubt, that my eternity is secure and one day I will see Jeﬀ again. Very shortly after Jeﬀ went home, I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to give back in some way; to repay Him and others for the overwhelming amount of love and support that I had received. The idea that surfaced was two-fold. First, to honor my love for Jeﬀ and our mutual love of running, there would be a race in his honor. And from that race, we will raise money for other families who lose loved ones to senseless violence and who don’t have support and beneﬁts. The Lord heard my cry and the ﬁrst “Partners for Life” Police Appreciation Run was held in May 2011 during National Police Appreciation Week. Funds raised at this event were put into the newly-formed Partners for Life Foundation. All future events and fundraising will provide support for families through the foundation. To see how this all came together is nothing short of God’s power and guidance and once again, His plan! The race will be held each year to honor not just our fallen oﬃcers, but those who continue to serve us every day. We are working on the May 2012 race and we invite you to get involved. Contact us through our website PartnersforLifeFoundation.com. So I ask this amazing community, who has done more for our healing than you may ever know, to continue to pray for us. God wants His children to continually talk with Him and ask Him our greatest needs. What an INCREDIBLE blessing it has been to watch God’s hands ALL AROUND US! My children, family and close friends have seen ﬁrst hand, the power of the Holy Spirit. Although I know, Jesus and Jeﬀ are waiting for me in eternity, God has given me a purpose here. I will continue my days on this temporary earth serving Him and listening to what He wants me to do. For THIS is why we are here!
GoodLiving • Volume 3, Issue 1