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Ser ving W isconsin, Minnesota & B e y o n d !

TM

Grub & Pub Report

T h e M a g a z i n e T h a t H e l p s Yo u L a u g h , T h i n k & F e e l

Vo l . 1 5 / No. 2

Fe b r u a r y 2 0 1 8

February 2018 Cover Story

FREE

The Edge Pub & Eatery on Beautiful Lake Wissota - Chippewa Falls, WI

(See Page 2)

GRUB & PUB REPORT PO BOX 473 CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 54729

FEBRUARY 2018

GRUB & PUB REPORT

FREE

Cover Photo by: Angie Linneman

Some Adult Content Not Intended for Children 14 and Under!


F E B R U A RY 2 0 1 8 C OV E R S TO RY

T H E E D G E P U B & E AT E R Y O N B E AU T I F U L L A K E W I S S O TA C H I P P E W A FA L L S , W I Written By: Dyzzi Baker

Feeling a bit of the winter blues coming on and an itch to get out of the house and just do something fun? May I suggest a stop out to The Edge Pub & Eatery on Lake Wissota located at 9504 County Hwy S in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. Not only do they have great food and drinks but a wonderful view of beautiful Lake Wissota as well.

The Edge Pub & Eatery was bought by Al Grube, after a Sheriff's sale in 2009. Al grew up in Abbotsford, WI and lived above the bowling alley his parents owned and operated called Duke's Bowl. When Al graduated from Abbotsford High School with honors he went on to college at Steven's Point for Natural Resources and General Studies but found he was better suited to the bar and restaurant business and soon opened the Tomahawk Bowl with his brother when he was only 23 years of age and his brother 21. For the first two to three years in this establishment Al and his brother did everything from clean up to shut down daily, ordering, bartending, serving and

February 2018

the paperwork that goes along with owning your own business and then hired their first bartender two years later. Al sold his share in the bowling alley to his brother in 1980, bought a boat and sailed around the islands of the Bahamas for about five years before getting bored and wanting to 'get off the boat' to return to the bar and restaurant business which is in his blood apparently. Al had a couple of friends who lived in Eau Claire at the time whom he came to visit. He didn't know at the time what he was going to do next but liked the Eau Claire and Chippewa Falls area when he ran across the Wissota View on Lake Wissota, Chippewa Falls and heard it was for sale. Al bought the Wissota View in 1986 and renamed the bar The View and had not known what a popular place that location was going to be but should have known because it was right on small Lake Wissota and just minutes from Hwy 29 and downtown Chippewa Falls. It took Al all of 45 days to remodel and open this establishment for business which one day he just took an old sheet of plywood and wrote on it 'Open' and put it out by the road even though construction was still in process. "In under two hours I had them three-deep at the bar, and I

said, 'Man, what have I got into?' It was sort of a sleeping giant." Al then bought the Lake Aire Motel in 2002, remodeled it and then renamed it the Wissota Inn and then converted it to condos in 2007. After 21 years in the bar business he thought he was retiring from the bar/restaurant business when he sold The View in 2007 until he found himself at the afore mentioned sheriff's auction and ended up buying The Edge Pub & Eatery in December of 2009 which had previously been known as Native Bay. Native Bay had been owned by an investment group which had closed down for about a year and a half before Al bought it. Before Native Bay the establishment had previously been known as The Docks, more notably as The Water's Edge and was actually built as a supper club in the 50's by Louie Le Que who had named it Louie Le Que's Supper Club. Al renamed the establishment to The Edge as he would not only be open for dinners but lunches as well. Join Al and his great staff for a nautically marine atmosphere and salty humor, mixed in with Frank Lloyd Wright decor.

The establishment is surrounded by windows of which you can look out across the bay of

beautiful Lake Wissota and feel the touch of sun on your skin as you enjoy a quaint and relaxing dining experience in the dining room or enjoy a refreshing drink in their cozy bar or out on one of Al's large decks in the summer.

The Edge Pub and Eatery bar seats approximately 60 guests while the dining room seats 125. There is also a side banquet area that seats about 35 guests and the upper and lower outside decks over-looking the water hold 30 tables for your summertime enjoyment with an inside tiki bar area offered for private. The Edge also offers 72 marine slips,

pontoon rentals, and marine gas for summertime boating enthusiasts along with a beautiful black limo that he bought in 2017 that Al says if you 'Dine With Us.. You Ride With Us.. In Style offered 365 days a year. This is a free service to any and all who want a safe ride to and from The Edge within 15 miles of Chippewa Falls. (Continued on page 13)

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TABLE O F C ONTENTS :

Cover Story the edge Pub & eatery Chippewa Falls, WI..........P. 2 InSIde SCooP Story darlings Gifts .................P. 27 reader CommentS.......P ....... G 6

Game PaGeS Crossword ....................... Pg. 4 Word Search..................... Pg. 5 .. movie ticket trivia.............Pg. 5 Curvy Word Puzzle...........Pg. 34 Kakuro ............................Pg. 29 .Suduko Hard only.............Pg. 34 Games Answers.........Pg.36-37 Answers new Horoscope...............Pg. 34 tyPo Contest : Rules & Winners ...........Pg. 4

directory of advertisers

Pgs. 19 & 22 directory of advertisers Pg 19 & 22 maps of advertisers ..Pg. 20-21 Classified Section .......Pg. 36-37 Subscription Form.............Pg. 40 entertaInment Calendar

Pg. 38-39

Cover PHoto By: angie linneman

Submit Jokes, letters, Subscription or advertising requests to: GnP rePort P.o. Box 473 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 area Sales representatives: **Call Dyzzi direct for any areas not listed by Sales Rep

dyzzi Baker- (owner) 715-456-7518 dyzzi42@yahoo.com

menomonie - downing, osseo - , arcadia - Strum, melrose, mindoro, owen, Withee, neillsville, Pray, Granton, Black river Falls

Keith ewing - 715- 404-0885 (Bloomer - trego-Hayward) dan Callan - 715-495-8091 (eau Claire -roberts)

St. CroIx valley ContaCt Patricia thatcher psthatch@q.com

Upcoming Cover Stories:

(Call if you have not had a cover story yet or desire one)

February 2018

Hello From Dyzzi!

matured and developed over time. It is beyond the physical, it has transcended the casual, and it is a unique harmony that has formed To take a heart and force it’s affection is a over time. Love Catalyst: Etheric crime.. but to give your heart to someone of (Unconscious) your own free will is a gift forever! Dyzzi 7. “PHILAUTIA” OR SELF LOVE: Self-love - in order to care Hello to all loyalty among friends, and for others, we must first learn to of you care for ourselves. It is not the camaraderie among team mates. friends and unhealthy vanity and selfLove Catalyst: The mind lovers out 3. “STORGE” OR FAMILIAR obsession that is focused on there.. LOVE: Storge is a natural form of personal fame, gain and fortune Welcome to February .. the month affection that often flows between but that only once you have the of love! parents and their children, and strength to love yourself and feel Many are confused by the word love children for their parents. It is a comfortable in your own skin, will and some feel they know the true love without physical attraction, you be able to provide love to meaning of the word or pretend that primarily to do with kinship and others. Love Catalyst: Soul they do. What is the meaning of love? familiarity.. 8. “AGAPE” OR SELFLESS Is it something that happens to you or Love Catalyst: Causal Memories) LOVE: Spiritual or God’s love, just something that you have.. that you 4. “LUDUS” OR PLAYFUL Highest form of love, selfless and feel or that you want? LOVE: a playful form of love, for unconditional, boundless or There are many kinds of love; the love example, the affection between bigger then ourselves. The love you give your parents out of respect for young lovers. Ludus is a game- that is felt for that which we them, the love you give your children playing or uncommitted love. intuitively know as the divine as they were born to you, the love you Lying is part of the game. Early truth: the love that accepts, give your pets as you want them to be stages of falling in love with forgives and believes for our happy and healthy right along with someone, e.g. the fluttering heart, greater good. Love Catalyst: Spirit those kids, the love you give your flirting, teasing, and feelings of SOURCE:https://lonerwolf.com spouse or special someone to show euphoria. /different-types-of-love/ your attraction for them and also your Now with these different types of Love Catalyst: Astral (Emotion) respect and care for them as you would 5. “MANIA” OR OBSESSIVE love definitions in your tool box.. your parents. LOVE: Can lead a partner into a go out and love someone today.. Love is defined by the Greeks in eight type of madness and obsessive- appropriately for your relationspecific ways however; 1. “EROS” ness. It occurs when there is an ship. Give them the gift of listenOR EROTIC LOVE: represents imbalance between eros and ing for Valentine’s.. my kid’s say I the idea of sexual passion and ludus. It can be a very dangerous need to practise this more myself! desire. Involves a “loss of form of love and should be Show your respect for each other control” through the primal and if you don’t have respect for avoided or treated with care.. impulse to procreate. Passionate Love Catalyst: Survival instinct someone.. perhaps respect starts and intense and arouses romantic 6. “PRAGMA” OR ENDURING first with learning to respect yourand sexual feelings. It is primal LOVE: Found in married couples self so that you can see who you and powerful and can if untended who’ve been together for a long should respect and perhaps aren’t. burn out quickly. time, or in friendships that have Fancy gifts are nice but these two Love Catalyst: The physical body endured for decades. Is aged, gifts last forever! Dyzzi B. 2. “PHILIA” OR AFFECTIONATE LOVE: It is friendship love, NOW... BOOKING FOR THE WINTER valued highly and above eros often because its considered a love CANCUN AND DOMINICAN VACATIONS between equals. It is free from the Go to.. intensity of sexual attraction. It affordabledominicanvacations.com often involves the feelings of

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Typo Winner of the Month:

The January 2018 Typo Contest winner is Sue Haughian of Rice Lake, WI who found the word “Ballon” instead of “Balloon”in the Rookies Ad on page 9. She will receive $10 in GNP Bucks to use at any of our current advertiser locations. Thanks for reading and Congratulations! (THESE MAY TAKE UP TO 6 WEEKS TO RECEIVE) Send entries to: Dyzzi Enterprises PO Box 473 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 or... Call - 715-456-7518 email: dyzzi42@yahoo.com

Cross Word Puzzle

(Answers Pg 44-45)

TYPO CONTEST RULES:

- Only typos found in advertisements are eligible for prizes. -Typos in the articles are not part of the typo contest. -Typos in ads are the only typos considered for the contest. -Everyone who finds a typo in an advertisement whether it’s the correct typo or editorial mistake, will be entered into the contest. -You can call, e-mail or mail in your answers to the typo contest. See contact information on page three. -All guesses must be turned in by the 15th of the month. (Major Holiday months by the 13th.) -One winner will be drawn from all received answers on or about the 15th of the month. -Winners will receive a $10.00 in GnP Bucks to be used at current advertiser locations only.

February 2018

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LOVE JOKES 1. Do you have a date for Valentines? Yes, February 14th!

Word Search Puzzle

(Answers Pg 44- 45)

2. Why should you never break up with a goalie? Because he is a keeper.

3. What did one boat say to the other boat? Are you interested in a little row-mance? 4. What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor? Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.

5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive, who? Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it.

6. My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

7. I love everyone. Some people I love to be around, while some of them are people who I would rather avoid. And then there are some who I would love to punch in the face. 8. I love you with all my butt. I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.

9. You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away.

10. You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

11. You are like my dentures. I cannot smile without you.

12. You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.

13. Why do men like to fall in love at first sight? Because doing so saves them a lot of money. 14. The funniest joke of all time is my love life.

February 2018

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C H I P P E W A FA L L S PA G E

JOIN US..

VALENTINE'S DAY DINNER

Date: Sat., Feb. 17 from 5PM-9PM Where: Bresina's Hometown Bar and Grill Serving: Prime Rib OR Prime Rib & Shrimp (Deep fried or Garlic buttered) Reservations Required Halfway Between Hwy 124 & 53

Hwy B Tilden, WI 715-288-6303

reader CommentS

A "Tater' Lead To A Date Shared by Mr. & Mrs. Anton 'Tony' Tomesh of Rice Lake, WI (Married 65 years this coming June 2018..) I met my wife at a Potato Festival Dance on October 9, 1949. I wanted to take her home but she said her dad always told her to go home the way she came. But the next Sunday I found where she lived and dropped by unexpected. She made some French fires and we shared them.. I still have the button from that dance and we both still love potatoes! Happy Valentines to you both.. share some potatoes on Valentines

Day for more good luck and many more years of married bliss! Sincerely, Dyzzi Baker

Dear Ms. Baker, I received a call back from you on December 5th, 2017, reguarding the info I had requested previously (on the cost of a subscription to the Grub & Pub Report). When you referenced the cost of the subscription I declined. The more I thought about it, I have decided the opposite. In the day in age, and my passion for writing myself, I so enjoyed reading the small town local paper. We are so overwhelmed with negative and dismal news nowadays, whether it be political, sexual harassment, murder, its so refreshing to read this paper. I look forward to it!! Keep it up!!It’s fun to laugh!!! Sincerely, Annette H. Thank you Annette for your nice letter. I am so glad that you have found enough enjoyment in my little paper here to want to keep it coming to you each month in a monthly subscription. I also thank you for your kind words and you hit the nail on the head... it is because of all the

River Inn

Ba r & Grill

(715) 723-9481

10418 Cty Hwy X Chippewa Falls, WI “Good Food, Good Friends, Good Memories”

Open 7 Days A Week!

February 2018

‘bad’ news we are bombarded with that I keep producing this paper. It is supposed to be light and fun and hopefully we all learn a bit more about each other and how to survive in this world with a smile on our faces and a laugh in our hearts! Yours Truly, Dyzzi Baker

THANKS, DYZZ! My first ad in the Grub & Pub has got my phone ringing off the hook! I want to help as many people I can stop smoking, lose weight and more with hypnosis and your publication reaches farther and more people that nay other advertising I do. I'll be back! Appreciatively...Richard Marano, B.S., C.H from the HYPNOSIS CENTER of Eau Claire Thank you Richard.. I am so glad that advertising in the Grub & Pub Report is bringing you business and I know from experience that you will help many people this year and for many years to come! Yours Truly, Dyzzi Baker

Schemboda’s

12942 100th Ave. Chippewa, Falls

715-723-0131

KITCHEN OPEN 2p-Cl Mon-Fri and 12p - Cl Sat & Sun HAPPY HOUR: M,T,TH & F 2-6P & 2-9p Wed

Happy Hour Prices for all.. Packer & Badger Games!

THURS: $1.50 BURGERS 2p-9p Full Menu Available Daily till 9p

FACTS ABOUT OHIO The history of Ohio includes many thousands of years of human activity. What is now Ohio was probably first settled by Paleo-Indian people, who lived in the area as early as 13,000 B.C. A fossil dated between 11,727 and 11,424 B.C. indicates they hunted large animals, including Jefferson's ground sloth, using stone tools. Ohio is the 34th largest, the 7th most populous, and the 10th most densely populated of the 50 United States. The state's capital and largest city is Columbus. The name "Ohio" originated from Iroquois word ohi-yo’, meaning "great river" or "large creek". The state, originally partitioned from the Northwest Territory, was admitted to the Union as the 17th state on March 1, 1803. *Check out Richard’s story everyone Although there are conflicting in last months January 2018 issue!! narratives regarding the origin of

Serving Full Menu... 7 Days A Week! Try the rest then come back for the best!

Mon thru Thur: All-U-Can-Eat Wings Jumbo Br oa st ed Ch icken Win gs O ver 26, 000 Lbs o f W ings S o ld in 2 016! !!

F r id ay Fi sh Sp e cia l: 2p $8.45 / 3p $9.95 / Fish & Shrimp Combo $12.95

Try Our: Hot Beef & Fries Only $6

Join Us for AmpQuiz Trivia Monday Nights @ 7pm!

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CHIPPEWA FALLS PAGE

Daily Lunch & Dinner Specials

WELCOME TO LOOPY’S ..

HOME OF THE WORLD’S ONLY HEATED SAND VOLLEYBALL DOME

*2 for 1 Burgers Tuesdays Fri-Sun Serving Breakfast 8am to CL! *Friday Fish Fry & Shrimp *Saturday Prime Rib Homemade Pizza 7 Days a Wk OP-CL Winter Hours :

19845 Cty Hwy X Chippewa Falls, WI Mon-Thurs 11a-Cl & Fri ,Sat & Sun 8 a - C l Phone: 715-861-3223

the nickname, Ohio is historically known as the "Buckeye State" and Ohioans are also known as "Buckeyes". Ohio is known for its status as both a swing state and a bellwether in national elections.

SOURCE:https://en.wikipedia.org/wi ki/History_of_Ohio

Ohio is a third larger than Scotland, stretches northward from the Ohio River to Lake Erie, between Pennsylvania and Indiana. It consists of level and undulating plains, on which are raised enormous crops of wheat and maize. Sheep-grazing and cattle-rearing are very extensive; its wool-clip is the largest in America. There are valuable deposits of limestone and freestone, and in output of coal Ohio ranks third of the States. The manufactures are very important; it ranks first in farm implements, and produces also wagons, textile fabrics, and liquors. In the N. excellent fruit is grown. The capital is Columbus, the

largest city is Cincinnati . Admitted to the Union in 1803, it boasts among its sons four Presidents—Grant, Hayes, Garfield, and Benjamin Harrison. Admission to Statehood:Ohio didn't officially become a state until 1953. It was declared a state in 1803, but didn't get the presidential stamp of approval until President Dwight Eisenhower signed off. He back-dated the declaration to the original date. On April 7, 1788, Ebenezer Sproat and a group of American pioneers to the Northwest Territory, led by Rufus Putnam, arrived at the confluence of the Ohio and Muskingum rivers to establish Marietta, Ohio as the first permanent American settlement in the Northwest Territory. Marietta was founded by New Englanders. SOURCE: http://www.definitions.net /definition/OHIO

Animals like Valentine’s too!

HAPPY HOUR MON - FRI 3-6pm

WIN Loopy’s Jackpot Draw each night @ 6pm **Buy 1 .. Get $1.50 off Your 2nd Drink!

S I G N U P B E G I N N I N G I N F E B R U A RY F O R . .

L o o py ’s M i d S e a s o n W i n t e r & S p r i n g Vo l l e y b a l l

Call Bar for Details or contact Loopy on facebook

Worlds Only “HEATED SAND” Volleyball Dome FRIDAY FISH FRY!

WINTER VACATION GETAWAY!

Leinenkugel Honey Weiss Beer Rent a beach front condo, 20 steps Battered Cod w/your choice of a potato & soup or salad. to the water! Vacation on OLD FASHIONED FRIDAYS Beautiful Island of St. Thomas **Try our hand muddled *Go to VRBO.com classics with your choice of liquor, mix and garnish $4.50 and Enter 803500 *Loopy’s favorite ..Bacardi Ask Loopy for details Oakheart Rum, Sweet w/Olives * Friday Nights.. Open Courts for Volleyball & Kubb & Bag Toss, Giant Jenga, Hammerschlagen ** Families Welcome

PARTY SHUTTLE RENTAL 14 Passenger Van $225 for 5 hours + gas ($25 an hr ea. add’l hr) 14 Passenger Shuttle Bus $275 for 5 hours + gas ($35 an hr ea. add’l hr) *All rentals include driver!

Free Shuttle Pick-Up & Drop Off from Home or Hotel within 15 Min. of Loopy’s *7Days A Week!

**LUNCH BUFFET M - F 11a - 2p Full Salad Bar w/ soups & homemade pizza! Build your own sandwiches, deviled eggs & dessert only $7.50

Sun. Night is Pizza Night

4 til 10 $9.99 16" cheese pizzas, $1.25 each topping Double punches on pitcher and pizza cards *Free Pool

Book Your Next Party in the Loopy Dome!

HOME OF THE JUMBO DRINK. Pay for 2 Mixers and get the 3rd shot free. Buy 5 bottles of beer in a bucket and get the 6th free.

February 2018

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C H I P P E W A FA L L S PA G E

The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. 'Now for your third wish.' said the genie. 'See that stick over there?', asked the brunette, 'I want you to beat me half to death with it.'

Phone: 715-723-2400 9504 County Hwy S, Chippewa Falls, WI

nIGHtly SPeCIalS: mon: all-You-Can-eat Wings / tUeS: 2 for 1 Half lb. burgers Wed: 1/2 Off Pizzas tHUrS: Italian nite and full Menu FrI: fish fry, Chicken & Ribs buffet Sat: Prime Rib and full Menu Sunday... funday with buckets of beer

**CHECK OUT OUR..

EDGEMOBILE & Book Your Next Party With Us!

“Dine With US .. & The Rides Is On US!”

*We will pick you up in style and get you home safely!

The Edge Pub & Eatery on Lake Wissota

Book Your Parties Here!

February 2018

February 2018 Cover Photo (Pictured Above) Taken By: Angie Linneman Angie will now be providing new and fresh photos monthly for our Grub & Pub Reports! Angie lives in the city of Eau Claire, WI. and one of her beautiful photographs she titled ‘Frosty Icicle’ which she photographed at the Devil’s Punch Bowl near Menomonie was featured last month on the Volume One January 10th, 2018 Cover. To contact Angie for photography work please email her at: angielinneman@gmail.com.

GIVING DOUBLE A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. 'Every blonde in the world will get two million.' The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. 'Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men.'

DONNELL RAWLINGS: SEAWORLD KILLER A whale is killing people in SeaWorld. That’s not funny but the headlines were funny: Killer Whale Kills. What the heck do you think a killer whales going to do? If you go to Brooklyn and see somebody named Killer Mike you don’t think he’d give you no roses.

GOLF WEEK The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

SIMPLE COMMANDS A doctor at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!" And they all sat. After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers. Thinking things were going well, he decides to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

Q&A Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "no it doesn't"

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C H I P P E W A FA L L S PA G E OPEN DAILY: 11a - 2a

Join Us for... Drink Specials... *All Dom Beer $2.00 *Rail on the Gun $2.75

HAPPY HOUR TUE - FRI 2-6PM Phone: 715-720-0976 24 W. Spring St. Chippewa Falls, WI

The assistant replied, "Well, everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, PEANUTS!'"

SPEECH IMPEDIMENT Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?" "Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away." "Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?" "It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy. "What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow. "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!" "Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!!" HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Burly’s Bar

19 E. Canal St. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-720-9148 Hours Open: 2:30pm(ish) - CL Mon - Sun Annual Co-Ed Valentines Dart Tourney Feb 10th *Bring Your Own Partner $10 pp entry $400 added starts 2pm/ sign up by 1pm

February 2018

AND GOD SAID And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster.

GAS STATION FILL-UP There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase it's sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time". Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time". As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sex". The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week." Chinese New Year Feb 16!

Q&A Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the "10" button. CAR CRASH There once was a cop who was surveying a car crash. There were two people that had died in the crash. When he saw a monkey come out of the wreck the cop said "Man I wish you could talk," as he looked at the monkey. "Then you could tell me what happened." "Oh but I can," replied the monkey. "Well what were the couple doing?" questioned the cop. "Kissing," replied the monkey. "They were kissing?" asked the cop. "Yes, answered the monkey, and smoking." "At the same time?!" cried the cop. "Yes, and drinking," replied the monkey. "So let me get this straight, said the cop. "They were kissing, smoking, and drinking at the same time." "Yep" answered the monkey. "Then what were you doing?" asked the cop. "Driving," answered the monkey NOT COMING TO WORK Hung Chow calls into work and says, " Hey, I am not coming to work today, I am really sick. I have a headache, stomach ache and legs hurt. I am not coming to work." The boss says, " I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I did what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon .. You have a nice house!

Phone: 715-723-7822 29 E. Park Ave. Chippewa Falls, WI OPEN: Tue - Fri 9a - CL Sa, Su & M Noon - CL Happy Hour: M-F 9a -11a & 3p -6p

LATE DOCTORS APPOINTMENT Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

DARTS - POOL GOLDEN TEE GOLF Happy Hour: 2-6p Daily 616 N. Bridge St. Chippewa Falls, WI Phone# 1-534-220-7027 Entertainment:

Rookies 'The Four' Karaoke Contest (Runs February - March) Starts Thursday Feb., 1st.

*Cash payout for top 4 contestants! To prize $500, $500 2nd $300, 3rd $200, 4th $100, Cash Pay Out Date Finale Thursday, March 29th!! Time 9-1pm DJ or Band Every Weekend Karaoke Thursday Nights

Happy Hour:

2-6pm Monday - Friday

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You Gotta Try Mary’s HOT BEEF’s at the ....

Happy Hr 4 - 6pm Quick Menu Served All Day Mon - Fri “Sonny’ Burger, Fries, Pizza & More! Cty. Rd. T & Cty Hwy X. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-874-5590 Coldest Beer Around

WANDER INN

ATTRACTING WOMEN A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this." "What's the problem?" the doctor inquired. "Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away." "My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun

person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you." The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor. "It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women." "So, what's your problem?"

The

Pit Stop Pub & Grub

120 Fleet St. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-861-2200 Open: Tues - Thurs 11a / Fri & Sat 10a / Sun 8a

CATERING AVAILABLE FOR ALL OCCASIONS! Feb 14th - Valentines DINNER LUNCH SPECIALS: Sweetheart Dinner Tue: 16" Pizza (up to 4 toppings), Specials *RSVP Garlic Bread Sticks, 1/2 Lb. Boneless Offered All Day! Wings Only $19.95 CHECK OUT OUR MONTHLY Wed: 50 Cent wings (Bone in or out) SPECIAL SANDWICHES!! Tues - Thurs: All-U-Can-Eat Homemade After Kitchen Closes Homemade 12" Pizzas Chicken Fritters & Fries Only $7.95 *Up to 5 toppings Thur: Double Up for a Buck Burgers or only $10 9pm - CL Southern Fried Chicken $8.95 BREAKFAST Fri: Fish Fry.. Cod Dinners; 1pc $7.50, 2 pc $9.75 (3rd piece for only $1.50 more) SUNDAYS 8-11AM (MealsIncl.mashedpotatoesorfries, corn, butter and biscuit ) FREE Breakfast (choice of 3) with any Sat & Sun: Fried 1/2 Chicken, Mashed Bloody Mary or Potato, Gravy, Veggie, Coleslaw, and Screw Driver Purchase! Buttered Bread Only $10.95, HAPPY HOUR: Sun - Thurs: Doug's Famous Chicken Fritters all-u-can-eat with your choice of sauces, M & T Double Up for a Buck fries, coleslaw & buttered bread $8.95 W & Thurs: 50¢ Off ALL Drinks

February 2018

CHIPPEWA FALLS - LAKE HALLIE PG.

"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

SEX DRIVE "You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year old man after the examination. "I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one complaint-my sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?" The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?!" he gasped. "My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can." "Lower it?!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider

'high'?" "These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can."

THE MECHANIC A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

Slim’s

La k e H a lli e T a v e r n

Enjoy.. Good Spirits, Food & Fun! 1979 Cty Hwy OO Chippewa Falls, WI (Lake Hallie) 715-832-9303

OPEN DAILY FOR BREAKFAST @ 6AM!

Join us for Super Bowl Party on February 4th!

Annual Ice Fishing Contest Februar y 10th!

POOL TOURNAMENTS Feb., 3rd and Fab., 24th

Bring your team.. Enjoy camaraderie where everyone is welcome, and has a fun time!

Check Out Our New Lunch & Food Specials

Judy's Mashed Potato's, Roast Beef & Gravy Served Daily!!

* TACO & TEQUILA Tuesdays: * Meat Raffle Wednesdays w/$1.50 Dom Beers $2 R rails * Sunday & Thursday

Ladies Night

1/2 price drinks 8p - CL

BROASTED CHICKEN IS BACK! 10


The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work? The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, whispering to the mechanic....."Try doing it with the engine running!" Elizabeth Peratrovich Day Is also on Feb 16th

Sorry.. Closed Mondays

Wi Fi

Open Hours: Tue - Fri 1p - Cl Sat & Sun 11a-Cl

See us on FACEBOOK @...

LindaandDansTCRoundabout

8685 St. Hwy 124 Chippewa

715-723-2709

ENTERTAINMENT: February 3rd The Dead Ringers 9-1 February 24th The Cragars 9-1

HAPPY HOUR TUES - FRI 50 Cents Off ALL Drinks 2-6p Sun & Tues Beer Buckets 5-4-$10 or 6-4-$12 SHAKE FOR A STEAK.. TUESDAYS! Wed: $1 Dom Mugs & FREE Pool $3 Cherry/ Jager Bombs Thur: $2 Leinies/Leinies Lt. Fri: Pizza & Beer Pitcher $15 Sa & Su $3.50 Bloodys 11a-2p

PACKER DAY SPECIAL Beer buckets 5-4-$10 or 6-4-$12. Free shot on Packer T.D.’s

February 2018

C H I P P E W A - L A K E H A L L I E PA G E

MAKING GLOVES A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves... "Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?" She said, "No?" "Well", he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again." The Dentist was surprised as she didn't laugh a bit!!! Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing. The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms. Q&A Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump. Duh!!

BEANS A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans." SHORT JOKES 1. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. 2. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

BLEEDING FOR HOURS A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked. "Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours." she replied. "Do you think I might be a haemophiliac?" "Well," the doctor answered, "Haemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a haemophiliac. Tell me, how much to you lose when you have your period?" After calculating for a moment, the hooker replied, "Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess."

Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club OPEN TO THE PUBLIC! Happy Hour: Mon - Fri 4:30pm - 6:30pm

38th Annual Adult Ice Fishing Contest Feb 3rd from Noon - 3pm

Kids Ice Fishing Contest

Feb 17th from Noon - 2pm 2910 109th St. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-726-1050 (Located Between Lake Hallie & the Chippewa River)

2588 Business Hwy 53 Lake Hallie, WI 715-723-0172

KITCHEN OPEN DAILY 11a - 2p & 5p - 9p FULL MENU & DAILY SPECIALS Monday Night Any 2 Menu Burgers $10.99

(Any 2 Burgers Off Menu)

Tuesday Night 6 Tacos Only $5.99

Wednesday Night All-U-Can-Eat Wings Only $9.49 (5p till Gone) Thursday Night 12 Inch Pizza (Up to 4 Toppings Only $5.50) Friday Night Buffet 5p - 9p Only $12.99 Sat & Sun Nights

Whole Chicken w/ JoJo’s

(8pc) & Slaw $10.99

ENTERTAINMENT *Music Bingo: Feb 23rd (3rd Friday Monthly)

*Trivia: Fri., Feb. 9th (2nd Friday Monthly)

Feb 10th: Showtime Championship Wrestling

*Doors open 6p / 7p Start 7pm Tickets: General Admis. $12 /Front Row $15 Proceeds benefit: Feed My People Food Bank ($2.00 off ticket price with nonperishable food item donation)

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

BANQUET HALL..

2 Large Halls Available for Booking Your Event! with BBQ Express Catering

11


E AU C L A I R E PA G E

DUCK SHOOTING Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature

made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?" FEBRUARY 19TH IS.. PRESIDENTS DAY!

VFW POST 7232 2900 W. Folsom St. Eau Claire, WI (715) 832- 3528

WiFi Available Here

SEE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE! Facebook.com/VFW Post 7232 Folsom Street

FEBRUARY ENTERTAINMENT Runs 8p-12a

2/2: 4 Cast / 2/3: Black Sheep / 2/9: DJ / 2/10:Jeff White 2/17: Nite Hawk / 2/23: DJ / 2/24: 40 Fingers Feb 25: Pre Polar Plunge Party at VFW 7232 7:00am to ???, Breakfast specials, Bloody Mary Specials, Raffles, Music and more. We are also one of the shuttle stops to and from half moon for plungers!

OPEN: M - TH 6a-2a / Fri 6a-2:30a / Sat 7a-2:30a / Su 7a-2a

HAPPY HR- M - F: 6-10a & 4-6p / Sa & Su: 10a-Noon

BREAKFAST SERVED.. 7 Days A Week! Mon - Fri from 6 - 10a Sat & Sun 7-11am

Coffee 75¢ w/Meal

February 2018

Deb’s Homemade

Sausage Gravy & Biscuits

1/2 Order Only $3.25

HOMEMADE Lunch Special 11am - 2pm Friday Nite Fish FRY 4 - 7pm ONLY $6.75

Join Today to support the Blues in the Chippewa Valley and all around! www.chippewavalleyblues.com

POLICE LINEUP Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect, who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. Detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot." One of them, when it was his turn, shouted, "That's not what I said!" DOCTOR'S ROOM A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her fiveyear-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there." "No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."

URGENT HEARTTRANSPLANT A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "You're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker". The man quickly responds, "The attorney's". The doctor says, "Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?" The man says, "We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his!"

SHORT JOKES I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said "Thanks" I said "Don't mention it"

I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it. 2007 3rd St. Eau Claire, WI 715.832.9508

OPEN DAILY 6a - CL Ultimate Bloody Mary Sundays 6a - 6p ** Only $5 Loaded!

LOVE STINKS! LET'S DRINK! .

Pick a .. conversation heart to reveal a special discount on your first drink. 6am to close on February 12.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! Sundays: EMM Teas “Delicious!”6pm - CL $5 -EVERY THURSDAY-

FREE JUKE BOX MUSIC EVERYBODY WINS @ BIG T’S

12


A L T O O N A - E A U C L A I R E PA G E F E B R U A RY 2 0 1 8 C OV E R S T O RY

T H E E D G E P U B & E AT E R Y O N B E A U T I F U L L A K E W I S S O TA C H I P P E W A FA L L S , W I Continued from pg 2 Written By: Dyzzi Baker

Stop in to The Edge Pub and Eatery which is open from 11am to Close 7 Days A Week and offers a tasty Lunch Buffet Monday - Friday from 11am to 2pm and/or Dinner from 5pm to 9pm where a refreshing Salad Bar and Homemade Soups are offered daily along with a full menu including; Signature Salads, The Edge Pizzas, Appetizers from Cheese Curds and Chicken Feta Quesadillas to Panko Encrusted Onion Rings, Wings and Nachos to plain and specialty Burgers,

Sandwiches and Wraps. Check out their Ribeye, Top Sirloin and Tenderloin Steaks and Jumbo Shrimp or Canadian Walleye or Haddock Dinners. Al's chef also offers Pasta from Alfredo's Masterpiece and Shrimp

VFW POST 305

1300 Starr Ave. Eau Claire, WI 715-552-8438

Breakfast Served 7 Days A Week 7am - 11am Lunch Served Mon - Fri 11am - 1pm

FRI FISH FRY - 4 to 8pm - Choice of Potato, Cole Slaw or Cottage Cheese, Texas Toast 1/2 PRICED APPETIZERS - FRI From 3 to 6pm

2 D A I LY SP E C IA LS L S F O R B R EAKFAST & LUNCH

Daily Happy Hour NOW... Mon - Fri: 7-10a & 3-6p DAILY DRINK SPECIALS ENTERTAINMENT:

EVERY THU & FRI: Karaoke @9pm

SAT Feb 3 - Mark Healey and Jim Schuh Duo

February 2018

Scampi to Pasta Primavera and don't forget to join Al and his staff for Monday Night All You Can Eat Wings for only $9.95 and his weekend specials including an awesome Friday Fish Fry Buffet, Fish Fry or Fish and Shrimp Dinners and Saturday Night for an In-house Slow Roasted Prime Rib of Beef both served from 5pm - 9pm. Al also offers a great drink selection from Margaritas, Mojito, Daiquiri, Peach on the Beach, Boatin' Blueberi and The Rare Raspberry Lemonade to the classics; Old Fashions, Manhattans, and the Martini plus don't forget the wine such as; KendallJackson Chardonnay, 10 Span Pinot Grigio, Kenwood Yulupa Pinor Noir, Cupcake Malbec and Folonari Moscato to name only a few. The Edge also offers all of your favorite domestic beers and some specialty brands as well if you're thirsty for a beer! Join Al and his staff at The Edge Pub & Eatery this February for some fun! February 3rd - Let's have a blast on the ice with Snowmobile Drag Races right outside The Edge on the North Shore of Lake Wissota sponsored by the Lake Wissota Trail Blazers and The Edge Pub & Eatery. This is a Non-Sanctioned Race ... so EVERYONE is invited and Welcome to compete. (Conti. Pg 14)

Rolly ’ s

Coach Club WiFi Available 2339 Spooner Ave.

Altoona, WI 715-832-4120

Open: 10am-Cl All Week!

1411 Spooner Ave. Altoona, WI 715-834-6226

On Valentine's Day, Impress Your Sweetheart With A Drink At .. The 400 Club!

Join Us for Good Times! OPEN @ 10am 7 Days A Week! Daily Lunch Specials 10a-4p Nightly Drink Specials! Karaoke Wed & Sat 9p-CL Happy Hour: M-F 10a - 6p & Sat 3-6p 228 Division St. Altoona, WI715-552-5526

13


F E B R U A RY 2 0 1 8 C OV E R S TO RY

T H E E D G E P U B & E AT E R Y O N B E AU T I F U L L A K E W I S S O TA C H I P P E W A FA L L S , W I Continued from pg 13 Written By: Dyzzi Baker

Registration is from 8am-11am with racing beginning at 12:01pm Sharp! Double Elimination. $25 Entry Fee. Stock & Modified Classes: 800ft Track: 340's, 440's Vintage class, 500's, Outlaw Class, Kitty Cats, 120's, 600's, 700's, 800's, 900's, 1000's, Turbo Class, (Outlaw Class: 600ft Track

Foster Bar & Grill

Make Foster Bar your Snowmobiling Headquarters!

600 cc & under, 601 cc & over) Machines will be tech'd to determine class - Stock, Mod & Outlaw. Alternate race day is February 24th. 1st and 2nd Place trophies will be awarded. All entry fees go to Wissota Trail Blazers and to support Local Trail Grooming. Contact The Edge Pub & Eatery at 715-723-2400 for more info or follow the event news on facebook at 'Lake Wissota Trail Blazers'. Then February 4th join the crew at The Edge for a Super Bowl Party with a Prime Rib Super Bowl Dinner!

Open Daily: Mon - Sun 10a-2a KI TCH EN ... TC HEN .. . OPEN 2A OPE N TI TILL L 112

S12800 US Hwy 53 - Foster

715-597-6627

EAU CLAIRE - FOSTER- MENOMONIE

on the whole of both big and small Lake Wissota. February 17th check out the 7th Annual Snolf Tournament (which is snow golf for those of you who do not know this term) with a 9 Hole Championship Course (Winter Rules), Closest to Pin and Long Drive Contest. Bring your own tennis ball and favorite club or Al and his staff can provide you with one! Sign up is at Noon with Tee Off at 1pm. Prizes include: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd for Men and Women and High Score plus there will also be raffles during and after the tournament. This event is $10 per person with all proceeds going to the Feed My People Food Bank 'Where $1 buys $10 worth of food for people in our local areas! Let's help stamp out hunger in the Chippewa Valley and beyond this winter! The Edge is located by a public boat landing and is on a protected bay for your boat docking. It is also right off the Old Abe Trail which runs from Chippewa thru Jim Falls

On February 10th it's the Jigs Up Ice Fishing Contest sponsored by the Eau Claire Blue Golds. The Edge Pub & Eatery is an official weigh in station for this event that runs

Saturday...

February 2018

715-235-1166 2100 Cty Rd. B Menomonie, WI (off I-94)

Open Daily

5am - Midnight

SMALLER PORTIONS SMALLER PRICES! Served 11a - CL Sunday 4 -6p Mon. - Thurs.

Specials:

GIROLAMO’S COURT’n HOUSE

NIGHTLY SPECIALS Sun - Sat 5 - 9pm

and Cornell to Holcombe where you can ride horse, snowmobile or walk to The Edge and is close to the Lake Wissota Golf Club and Lake Wissota Yacht Club. Stop into The Edge any day of the week, 365 days a year and also for 4th of July, Halloween and New Year's parties or book your own business, retirement, birthday, wedding rehearsal or graduation party at The Edge Pub & Eatery now for the 2018-2019 Spring thru Winter Seasons and remember.. the safe ride home (In style) with a Dine With Us.. Ride With Us Limo called 'The Edgemobile' for you and friends! See YOU at The Edge soon!

Check out our 20.. Rotating Taps!

1113 W. Grand Ave. Eau Claire, WI 715-832-5478 Book Your Next Event @ Our SideBar on Grand!

*Open Faced Hot Turkey or Hot Beef Sandwiches *Meat Loaf *Cod (Beer Battered or Baked) *1/4lb Cheeseburger & Fries *Chef Salad

Your Choice Only $4.99

14


RAILROAD A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a Wednesday Night Special 2 for 1's 7-9 pm

Join Us For..

WINTER WEEKNIGHT FUN

Every Monday Trivia @7pm Every Wednesday Bingo @7p Every Thursday Euchre @7p

VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL Prime Rib & Shrimp Dinner Serving starts at 5pm Reservations Appreciated! 715-639-5000 109 N. Main St. Elmwood, WI

WABASHA VFW Post 4086 Open 11am To Close 7 Days A Week

138 2nd. St. E. Wabasha, MN Phone: (651) 565-4766 FEBRUARY ENTERTAINMENT

FRI Feb 9 - The ZackaryZ 8 - 12 SAT Feb 10 - Flipside 7:30 - 11:30 FRI Feb 16 James "Mudcat" Grant 7p -11:00p Fri & Sat February 23 & 24 Join Us For Grumpy Old Men Days FRI Feb 23 Bear Creek Band 8pm - 12am SAT Feb 24 - Zuber the DJ 8 - 12

February 2018

BLOOMER - DURAND - MENOMONIE baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?" The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

ON A LONELY ISLAND A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright but after a few months he gets lonely... The pig starts to look more and more attractive - soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it."

The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?" SHORT JOKES 1. I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer. 2. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

MEDICAL TEST MIX UP Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results. The lab tech says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?" "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife." "That's terrible! Can we do the test over?" asked Mr. Smith. "Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her."

NOW... BOOKING FOR THE WINTER CANCUN AND DOMINICAN VACATIONS Go to..

affordabledominicanvacations.com

FEBRUARY ENTERTAINMENT SUN Jan 28 - Anything Goes Open Mic w/Two Frets Up 6 to 9pm SUN Feb 4 - NO JAM DUE TO SUPERBOWL SUN Feb 11 - Bluegrass Jam w/River City Ramblers 6 to 9pm SUN Feb 18 - Classic Country Jam w/Sandy Kay & The Chippewa River Band 6 to 9pm SUN Feb 25 - Anything Goes Open Mic w/Two Frets Up 6 to 9pm TUE Feb 27 - Old Time Music w/Top Notchmen 1 to 4pm SUNDAY BLOODY MARY BAR 9A-2P

2002 Midway Rd, Menomonie, WI Phone:(715) 235-9940

Just 5 Miles N. of Menomonie, WI

Valentines Weekend... Valentine's Specials All Weekend, Valentines Day Tues., Feb 14th from 5-9pm

OPEN M & W, TH, F, S & SU Kitchen: Open till 10pm Nightly

Friday Fish Fry: Baked, Lightly breaded, or Beer battered w/ Choice of side, salad or soup 3:30-10p

SUNDAY’S BEST BRUNCH IN THE CHIPPEWA VALLEY!

10:00am-2:00pm Please RSVP! 715.235.2465

4570 US Hwy 10 Durand, WI 715-672-5681

Try One Of Club 10's Delicious Homemade Pizzas - Available to eat in or take out! 15


Open at 5am

Looking for a place for your private party? Corral Bar & Riverside Grill's NEW Banquet Hall is now open and available for events! *Call us for more info. 318 W. Main St. Durand, WI (715)672-8874

& P i z z a Planet 2508 Hwy 12 - Woodville, WI 7 1 5 - 6 98-2907 Open 7 Days a Week 11-2am

FEBRUARY EVENT SCHEDULE

FRI Feb 2 - LOL Chicago Style Dart Tourney - 7p signup 150% PB SAT Feb 3 - Chad & Dirt Road 8p FRI Feb 8 - Comedian Kevin Kraft @8pm - $10 cover SAT Feb 9 - Jeff Loven SUN Feb 11 - Chili Contest @2pm FRI Feb 16 - 32 Below

MON & SAT: Free Pool FRI: Karaoke 9p-12a SUN: Happy Hour All Day!

Happy Hour Mo - Th 8-10P -

Football Drink Specials 5 for 10$ Beers 5 for 12$ Rail

Join Us for.. Karaoke Every Friday Night at 9pm 305 W. Main St. Ellsworth, WI

715- 273 - 4223

February 2018

DOWNING - DURAND - ELMWOOD - ELSWORTH - WOODVILLE PG

SHORT JOKES 1. How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb? Is it one or two? One... or two? 2. What do we want? Low flying airplane noises! When do we want them? NOW! A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner

SWITCHED INPUTS For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The teacher tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my monitor and quaking red-faced. I started to type, "Leave me alone!" They both jumped back, silenced. "Whaa??" the teacher blubbered. Then I typed, "I said leave me alone!" The kid got really upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I swear!" It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on for an amazing five minutes. Me: "Don't touch me!" Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that hard." Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc.

Sat., Feb. 3rd

Annual Etta Johnston Dart Tourney 11 a.m. sign up Sat. Feb. 10th "Extravabandsa" 11am -10pm *Featuring all local bands in the area all day!!!

715-749-3891 112 W. Main St. Roberts, WI ‘Where Good Neighbors Meet’

Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer and fell out of my chair laughing. After they had realized what I had done, they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in that class.

MORE FACTS ABOUT OHIO - Ohio native James Ritty invented the cash register in 1878. As a saloon owner, Ritty had a problem with his employees stealing his money. He got the idea of a machine that kept track of the money transactions while looking at machinery on a steamboat to Europe. - Speaking of inventors, Thomas Edison was born in Milan, Ohio.

- The Shawshank Redemption was shot at the Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield. It was later used for Air Force One and you can take tours of the facility. - Before the Boston Red Sox, there were the Cincinnati Red Stockings. Founded in 1869, they

Join Us at Sidetrack for Good Times!

were the first professional baseball team.

- Before going into television, Jerry Springer was the 56th mayor of Cincinnati. He considered running for Senate, but was concerned that his show’s negative reputation would affect his chances.

- Ohio is home to the “One and Only Presidential Museum.” The museum honors John Hanson, who was technically the first president of the United States; he and eight others were elected and served one year terms before the Constitution was written. Nick Pahys, Jr. DDG-CH-AdVSA.G.E.-LDA-FIBA (yes, he really does have that many initials!) does not like the fact that textbooks glossed over this important historical figure, so he erected the museum to properly educate the masses. Visitors can enjoy artifacts, portraits, and even a personal tour from the owner himself.

Open 365 Days a Year Mon-Fri @ 11am Sat & Sun @ 8:30am Breakfast Music Sat. Nites!

KITCHEN OPEN 11a - 10p Daily *Serving Appetizers till Closing

We NEVER Close Early! Guaranteed Last Call Every Day! B e s t F i s h Fr y A r o u n d T h e A r e a 1 1 a m t o 9 p m !

504 Main St. Downing, WI Phone# 715-265-7855

16


B L O O M E R PA G E

18982 State Hwy 124 Bloomer, WI Phone# 715-288-6596

OPEN: Mon-Fri 11am-close Sat-Sun 10am-close Homemade Hot Beefs, Pizza & Deep Fried Items Available

Packer Game Special

Buckets of domestic beer 5/$10.00 Pitchers of domestic beer $6.00

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

- The state houses the world’s largest cuckoo clock. The giant, fully functional structure is appropriately located in Sugarcreek, the “Little Switzerland of Ohio.”

- The Cuyahoga River has caught on fire at least 13 times; it’s aptly nicknamed “The River That Caught Fire.” The river was one of the most polluted rivers in the country and would catch fire after sparks from the train would fall into the water. After a highly media-covered fire in 1969, Congress was inspired to clean up pollution across the country and established the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

1319 Main St. Bloomer 715-568-5420 Open 7 Days A Week @ 11a Check Out Our NEW...

XPEDITIONS COFFEE CO. & MARKET! Open: M - F 6a - 6p Sa 7a - 2a & Sun 8a - 1p

February 2018

BABIES NAMING On a rainy day, an Indian from a tribe goes to his Chief. He asks the Chief, "Chief, how do you name all the people of our tribe?" The Chief replies,"Oh, it quite easy. When baby is born, I look at first thing I see moving in wilderness, and name baby just that.... "How so?" asks the Indian "Well," replies the Chief,"if I see coyote running in fields, I name baby Running Coyote, if I see a bull sitting, I name baby Sitting Bull." "Oh, I see now" says the Indian Then the Chief turns to the Indian and says, "Well, why do you ask, Shitting Dog?"

- Cleveland boasts America's first traffic light. It began on Aug. 5, 1914. DON'T SAY IT, SPELL IT My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle. An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, 'Boy is she r-u-d-e!' 'Yeah,' he replied, 'but I'll bet she can S-p-e-l-l.' ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level. To test his program he entered 80 and had a conversation with his Soap Operas. He entered 100 and talked about politics. He entered 150 and talked about nuclear physics. Just to see what would happen he entered a -50 and the computer bumped and belched and sparked and smoked for a good 10 minutes. When it finally settled down it displayed "On B”.

MORE BEER A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television, and told his wife: "Get me a beer before it starts!" The wife sighed and got him a beer. Ten minutes later, he said: "Get me another beer before it starts!" She looked cross, but fetched another beer and slammed it down next to him. He finished that beer and a few minutes later said: "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!" The wife was furious. "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink

18 Hole Public Golf Course

Wed: All-U-Can-Eat Wings Thurs: $2 Burgers & **Friday Night Fish Fry 5-9p

WINTER ACTIVITIES

Cribbage Tournaments Sun., Jan. 21st & Sun., Feb. 16th

118 E 13th Ave, Bloomer, WI

2-person teams $20/team 12:30 start call ahead to sign-up

Phone: 715-568-1743

BLOOMER AGLIME SERVICES

For ALL Your Agriculture Needs

22056 Cty. Hwy AA Bloomer, WI (Just 1 Mile East of the Pines Ballroom)

Owned by: Charles W. Rufledt Phone: 715-568-4643 Fax: 715-568-5643

beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore..."The man sighed and said: "It's started."

ELIZABETH WANAMAKER PERATROVICH Every year on February 16, Alaskans honor Elizabeth Wanamaker Peratrovich (1911—1958) "for her courageous, unceasing efforts to eliminate discrimination and bring about equal rights in Alaska" (Alaska Statutes 44.12.065).

Located on the Corner of Hwy 40 & 64 19037 State Hwy 40 **Bloomer, WI Phone# 715-568-4064

FREE BINGO .. EVERY Sunday Night @ 5p with.. Drink Specials & Prizes *MONDAY IS SLIDER NIGHT with $1 Burgers starts @ 4p FEBRUARY EVENTS: Feb 10: Sno-hawk Snowmobile Club Meat Raffle * Benefits Charitable Causes Feb 17: Vintage Snowmobile Party & Craft Fair Wed., February 14th.. Valentine’s Dinner Specials Starts @ 4p (See website for more details)

17


BUYING CONDOMS A very proper man started going into the neighborhood pharmacy every week to buy two dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week he would come in with the same order. One day the pharmacist felt he had to say something to the man. "Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting lucky! How on earth do you use that many condoms a week?"

B & L LIQUOR STORE 1369 Main Street Houlton Wisconsin

*Your FIRST Stop In Wisconsin Open 365 Days A Year! NEW HOURS M-W 1pm-8pm Th & F 9am-9pm Sa & Su 8am-9pm Phone: 715-549-6589

Best Selection of Fine Wines, Liquors & Specialty Beer in the Valley!

723 - 6th Street N. Hwy 35

North Hudson, WI 715.386.2205

OPEN Daily 7AM-2AM

**Full Menu/ Daily Specials Breakfast Daily

*22 HD TVs /Gaming

50% off Select Bot. Of Wine - Wed

One Block North of 1-94 & MN 95 Lakeland MN 651.436.5005 Dining Hours: M-T 11a-9:30p W 11a-10p /Th 8a-10p /Fri 8a-10:30p Sa 7:30a-10:30p / Sun 7:30a-9p HAPPY HOUR: MON -FRI 3-6PM

Tues, Feb 13th Mouldy Figs 5-8 FAT TUESDAY!

February 2018

S T C R O I X VA L L E Y, W I - L A S V E G A S , N V PA G E

The man looked at him in disgust and said, "I beg your pardon, but I find the whole idea of sex repulsive!" "So," the pharmacist asked, "then what do you do with all those condoms?" The gentleman answered, "I feed them to my poodle and now she poops in little plastic bags." 25 BEST THINGS TO DO IN OHIO ßFountain Square – Cincinnati: ßCleveland Museum of Art: ßFranklin Park Conservatory: ßUnion Terminal: ßWright Brothers National Memorial: ßStan Hywet Hall and Garden: ßHocking Hills State Park: ßCedar Point: ßDayton Aviation Heritage National Historic Park: ßRock and Roll Hall of Fame: ßCincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden: ßNational Underground Railroad Freedom Center: ßOhio State Reformatory: ßWest Side Market: ßSpring Grove Cemetery: ßImagination Station ß German Village:

ßPlayhouse Square: ßContemporary Arts Centre: ßAmerican Sign Museum: ßCarillon Historical Park: ßA Christmas Story house: ßGreater Cleveland Aquarium: ßOhio Statehouse: ßLake View Cemetery:

PINK RHINESTONE GLASSES My dad had cataract surgery and had to go to the eye doctor for his post op checkup. He told me that when he was driving into town for his appointment he could hardly see. I told him, "Why didn't you let Mom drive?" He said, "She could not see either, it was very blurry for her too." So Mom sat in the waiting room, and could not even read a magazine because she could not see. Dad was at his appointment and was telling the Dr. he could not see at all today. The Dr. was giving Dad his eye exam while Dad was wearing his glasses and Dad asked, "Am I looking through trifocals?" The Dr. said, "Yes." Dad said, "Damn it, I have my wife's glasses on!!!" Once the medical assistant took

1801 E. Tropicana Ave. 702-736-6366 3050 E. Desert Inn Rd. 702-732-7373 5558 S. Boulder Hwy. 702-451-7357

Come Check Us Out

Mom's glasses to her in the waiting room she could see better and so could Dad. We kids are so thankful that Mom does not wear pink rhinestone glasses for Dads sake! Submitted by: Cindy Griesbach Stratford, WI pst…Greetings from the St. Croix Valley! Equal measures of love, faith, trust and understanding are needed to balance the scales of life. - P.S.Thatcher Happy Valentine’s Day! Love each other gently and remember peace begins at home! Tell your loved ones.. you love them this Valentines!

New... Lombardi Room Non Smoking Featuring a 75” BIG Screen TV for your viewing pleasure!

18


CHIPPEWA FALLS AREA MAP 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9

10 12 13 14 15 16 19 20 22 23

2 3 5 6

2

BURLY’S BAR ..................................................................................9

3

LINDA & DANS T & C .................................................................... 11

4

FOUR CORNERS ......................................................................... N/A

5

LEROY’S BAR ...................................................................................9

7

SCHEMBODA'S ................................................................................6

8

CHEERS BAR & GRILL ....................................................................7

9

DALE & MARY'S RITZ ON THE RIVER .............................................8

10

WEST HILL BAR & GRILL ................................................................7

11

THE EDGEPHONE.............................................................................8

12

LOOPY’S ...........................................................................................7

13

WANDER INN ................................................................................ 10

14

19 E. CANAL ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-9148

8685 ST. HWY. 124, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-2709 14982 HWY S CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-6783

24 WEST SPRING ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-0976 12942 100TH AVE. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-0131

19845 HWY X, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 861-3223

114 W. RIVER ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (534) 220-7020

250 WEST ELM ST, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-9281

9504 COUNTY HWY 3., CHIPPEW FALL WI • (715) 723-2400

10691 90TH AVE. (BUS. 29) CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-5667 • www.723loop.com 6020 CTY RD X CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 874-5590

RIVER INN BAR & GRILL .................................................................6

10418 CTY HWY X CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-9481

15

BRESINA'S BAR & RESTAURANT ...................................................6

HWY B TILDEN, WI • (715) 288-6303

3D FITNESS................................................................................... 40

1

616 N. BRIDGE ST., CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 54729• (715) 220-7027

2

13 W. CENTRAL STREET, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-4848

3

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

4

ROOKIES PUB ..................................................................................9 THE SNOUT SALOON .................................................................. N/A

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

6

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EAGLES CLUB AERIE 2213 ......................................................... 11

7

2588 U.S. HWY 53 LAKE HALLIE, WI • (715) 723-0172

14

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

16

2910 109TH ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 726-1050

17

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A LAKE HALLIE SPORTSMAN’S CLUB ............................................ 11

LAKE HALLIE GOLF COURSE ..........................................................8

2196 110TH ST, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 861-5442

TIM'S SLIM'S LAKE HALLIE TAVERN ........................................... 11

Y1979 CTY. HWY 00, CHIPPEWA FALLS (LAKE HALLIE), WI • (715) 832-9303

19 23 24

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RUM RUNNER (MAIN LOCATION) ................................................ 18

1801 E. TROPICANA, LAS VEGAS NEVADA

27

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GIROLAMO’S COURT N’ HOUSE .................................................. 14

113 W. GRAND AVE. EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-5478

BRICK HOUSE............................................................................... 14

2233 BIRCH ST., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-6227

MORGAN MUSIC .......................................................................... 37

2405 E. CLAIREMONT AVE, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 834-7177 www.morganmusiconline.com

ROLLY’S COACH CLUB ................................................................. 13

2339 SPOONER AVE. ALTOONA, WI • (715) 832-4120

SPEED OF SOUND ........................................................................ 37

2113 BIRCH ST., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 839-8021

VFW POST 305 ............................................................................. 13

1300 STARR AVE, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 552-8438

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

400 CLUB ..................................................................................... 13

1411 SPOONER AVE., ALTOONA WI • (715) 834-6226

VFW POST 7232 ........................................................................... 12

2900 W. FOLSOM ST, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-3528

BIG T'S SALOON ............................................................................ 12 2007 3RD ST, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-9508

FOSTER BAR ................................................................................. 14

12800 HWY. 53, OSSEO (FOSTER), WI • (715) 597-6627

GOLDEN SPIKE ............................................................................. 13

228 DIVISION STREET, ALTOONA, WI • (715) 552-5526

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

EAST-CENTRAL AREA MAP

312 N. BRIDGE, ST., CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-3800 405 GRAHAM AVE., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 514-3110

OUT OF STATE 1

EAU CLAIRE/ALTOONA/FOSTER AREA MAP

1ST & GOAL SALOON .....................................................................9

29 E. PARK AVE. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-7822

LAKE HALLIE AREA MAP 1

AD PAGE #

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CORNER BAR BAR.............................................................................. N/A

200 N MAIN ST., MERRILLAN, WI • (715) 333-2028

NEILLSVILLE AMERICAN LEGION ................................................ 24

#6 BOON BLVD. NEILLSVILLE, WI • (715) 743-3859

BIG STREET BAR .......................................................................... 32

N3063 KING ST., HUMBIRD, WI • (715) 964-1401

OTTER LAKE BAIT ....................................................................... N/A

16488 CTH H STANLEY, WI • (715) 644-0609

BEHIND BARR'S ........................................................................... 23

N9302 CTY HWY G & O GREENWOOD, WI • (715) 267-6733

FUNTE'S BAR & GRILL ................................................................. 23

215 S. MAIN ST., GREENWOOD, WI • (715) 267-7599

DOC'S BUNKHOUSE ................................................................... N/A

N11702 ELKER RD, MERRILLAN, WI • (715) 964-8010 docsbunkhouse@gmail.com

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

LOW RIDERS TAVERN & PAVILION .............................................. 24

N2472 HWY 95, NEILLSVILLE, WI • (715) 743-2422

THE TWILITE ZONE ....................................................................... 23

309 N. BROADWAY STANLEY, WI • (715) 644-2340

DOUBLE D SALOON ...................................................................... 23

505 E. MURRAY ST. BOYD, WI • (715) 667-3441

DARLINGS GIFTS .......................................................................... 27

HWY. 10, OSSEO, WI • (715) 597-5683 & 51 S. HAZELHURST, WI • (715) 358-5683

TOMMY'S HILLTOP........................................................................ 27

W2860 US HWY 10, GRANTON, WI • (715) 238-7852

CALL DYZZI TO ADVERTISE IN ONE OF THESE PRIME SPOTS!

715.456.7518


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Osseo

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Make money using the internet today!! Go to : www.talkfusion.com . Click on the white arrow or the product tab for a short preview or call Dyzzi @ 715-456-7518 to schedule FREE! No Hassle! Learning Session.

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Ellsworth

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Jim Falls

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Rudolph Rd.

Pearl St

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109th St.

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270


MENOMONIE AREA MAP 1 3 4 5 6 7 8

10

12 14 18 19 20 21

23 24

PUMP HOUSE ............................................................................... 16

1

UP-CHUCK'S ................................................................................. 25

2

CORRAL BAR AND RIVERSIDE GRILL ......................................... 16

3

504 MAIN ST., DOWNING, WI • (715) 265-7855

120 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI 54612• 608-323-9907

318 W. MAIN ST., DURAND, WI • (715) 672-8874 www.corralbarandriversidegrill.com

THE HUB........................................................................................ 16

305 W. MAIN ST., ELLSWORTH, WI • (715) 273-4223

CLUB 10 ............................................................................................ 15

W4570 US HWY 10, DURAND, WI • (715) 672-5681

EXIT 45 RESTAURANT AND BAKERY .......................................... 14

2100 CTY RD. B, MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-1166

SIDETRACKS SALOON & GRILL ................................................... 16

112 W. MAIN ST., ROBERTS, WI 54023• www.sidetracksaloon.com

ROOSTER TAIL ............................................................................ N/A

106 W. MAIN ST., DURAND, WI • (715) 672-3640

BOO'Z BAR & GRILL ................................................................... N/A

414 MAIN STREET, KNAPP, WI • (715) 665-2215 www.facebook.com/BoozBarandGrill

KERNS KURBSIDE BAR & GRILL ................................................ 15

2 3 4

5 6 7 8 9

10 12 13

15 16 17

4 6

7

9 10 16

20

HILLTOP BAR & GRILL ................................................................. 16

21

RIVERVIEW LANES ....................................................................... 25

24

JAKE'S SUPPER CLUB.................................................................. 15

25

UNCLE SAMS ................................................................................ 25

27

CHERI & LARRY'S FOOLISH PLEASURE BAR ............................. 25

31

2508 HWY. 12, WOODVILLE, WI • (715) 698-2907 634 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA WI • (608) 323-7005

E5690 CTY RD C, MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-2465

309 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI • (608) 323-7USA (7872) 114 - 5TH AVE. STRUM, WI • (715) 695-3687

DEAN & SUES BAR & GRILL ........................................................ 15

2002 MIDWAY RD., MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-9940

AD PAGE #

BEV’S SADDLE MOUND TAP ........................................................ 35

N 8376 PRAY RD, PITTSVILLE, WI (IN PRAY A TOWN OF CITY POINT) • (715) 884-7355

RUMORS BAR............................................................................. N/A

N9261 ST. HWY 108, MINDORO, WI • (608) 857-3436

JOE & LINDA’S FIRST & LAST CHANCE....................................... 33

HWY 27 SOUTH BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-3121

SUNSET TAVERN ........................................................................... 39

AD PAGE #

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

XPEDITIONS ................................................................................. 17

1319 MAIN ST. BLOOMER, WI • (715) 568-5420

SOMERSET PUB ......................................................................... N/A

967 28 1/8 STREET #7, CHETEK, WI • (715) 859-2271

R-BAR & RED PINES CAMGROUND .............................................. N/A

1190 - 25TH ST. CAMERON, WI • (715) 859-6556

THE RUT ........................................................................................ 30

N705 COUNTY RD M, COUNTY ROAD D, SARONA, WI • (715) 354-3250

MYSTIC GRILL............................................................................. N/A

23583 CTT GWT SSM BEW AYBYRB, WI • (715)0237-2500

HOOT'S ON THE WATER................................................................ 31

2091 22 1/2 AVE., RICE LAKE, WI • (715) 475-1300

BLOOMER MEMORIAL GOLF COURSE ....................................... 17

118 E. 13TH AVE., BLOOMER, WI • (715) 568-1743

THE ADVENTURE .......................................................................... 31

2251 CTY SS, RICE LAKE, WI • 715-719-0669

MIKE & ELLIE'S SHADY CAMPGROUND AND POOR FOLKS SALOON ......................................................... 31

2883 17-3/4TH ST., RICE LAKE, WI • (715) 234-7339 www.shadyrest@centurytel.net

109 N. MAIN ST., ELMWOOD, WI • (715) 639-5000

SOUTHERN AREA MAP 1

NORTHERN AREA MAP

AD PAGE #

32 34

CORNER PIT STOP........................................................................ 17

18982 STATE HWY 124, BLOOMER, WI • (715) 288-6596

LINCOLNWOOD RESORT BAR AND GRILL .................................. 30

N1075 EAST SIDE RD., BIRCHWOOD, WI • (715) 354-3533 www.lincolnwoodresort.com

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

SPIDER LAKE SALOON ............................................................... N/A

N2586 SPIDER LAKE TRAIL, BIRCHWOOD, WI • (715) 354-3723

WAGON WHEEL ............................................................................ 30

MAIN ST., BRILL, WI • (715) 234-1823

MICKEY'S ...................................................................................... 26

N5399 WALNUT ST, TONY, WI • (715) 532-7598

FIRESIDE BAR & GRILL ............................................................. N/A

W12745 FIRESIDE LAKE RD., NEW AUBURN WI• (715) 868-1172

ST. CROIX AREA MAP 1 5

6

8

N5890 HWY 54 BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-9345

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B & L LIQUOR STORE ................................................................... 18

1369 MAIN ST., HOULTON, WI • (715) 549-6589

THE BUNGALOW INN .................................................................... 18

1151 RIVERCREST RD N, LAKELAND, MN • (651) 436-5005

THE VILLAGE INN SPORTS BAR & GRILL .................................... 18

723 - 6TH ST. N., HWY. 35 HUDSON, WI • (715) 386-2205

WABASHA VFW POST 4086 ........................................................ 18

138 2ND ST. E., WABASHA, WI • (651) 565-4766

DONNA K'S BAR & FAMILY DINER .............................................. 38

44 MAIN ST., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 670-0303 www.facebook.com/Donna K's and Family Diner

KRAZY K'S SALOON ...................................................................... 29

HOLCOMBE AREA MAP

15793 WEST 1ST ST. ETTRICK, WI • (608) 525-7171

1

22833 N. MAIN ST. ETTRICK, WI • (608) 525-4863

2

CORNER PUB................................................................................ 29

DWYER'S MY SECOND HOME ...................................................... 32

3

FREDDIES ..................................................................................... 35

4

HIDEAWAY TAVERN .................................................................... N/A

5

13272 MAIN ST., PIGEON FALLS, WI • (715) 983-5664

N 625 NORTH BEND DR., MELROSE, WI • (608) 488-5823

2625 HIDEAWAY DR., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2580

COZY CORNER ............................................................................ N/A

43 MAIN ST., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2651

BLACK RIVER POWER SPORTS ....www.blackriverpowersports.com ......... 39

7 9

W10120 STATE HWY 54 E., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2600 FAX (715) 284-2055

10

206 N. WASHINGTON ST., MELROSE, WI • (608) 488-3911

16

WAUGHTAL MOTOR SALES .......................................................... 37 JC’S PIZZA & PUB ........................................................................ 37

N378 ST HWY 108 MELROSE, WI *3 MILES S. OF MELROSE

BURR OAK AUTO BODY ................................................................ 37

W2606 DAVIS CREEK RD., MELROSE, WI • (608) 857-3880

17 18 19

AD PAGE #

BIG T'S NORTH ............................................................................. 28

116 MAIN ST., CORNELL, WI • (715) 239-6677

BIG SWEDES RESORT .................................................................. 29

840 HWY 27 HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 456-7518 • www.bigswedes.com

FLATER’S RESORT...................................................................... N/A

N270 CTY E. HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4771 • www.flatersresort.com

TJ'S TIMBERLINE ........................................................................ N/A

1189 N. POTATO LAKE, CHETEK, WI • (715) 353-2238

BOGIE'S BAR .............................................................................. N/A

HWY E, HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4710

ENTWOOD GOLF COURSE............................................................ 26

28135 290TH AVE., HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4035

JIMMY'S WORLD........................................................................... 26

N1745 RANGELINE RD., CONRATH, WI • (715) 532-0637 CELL (715) 403-3867

COOKIE'S HOLCOMBE INN .......................................................... 28

27575 -0263RD AVE., HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4092

5TH QUARTER BAR ...................................................................... 28

108 W. MINER AVE., LADYSMITH, WI • (715) 532-7757

CHIPPEWA RIVER CAMPGROUND ............................................N/A

23780 STATE HWY. 178, CORNELL, WI

JIM'S SHADY NOOK ...................................................................... 28

16061 - 296TH ST, CORNELL, WI • (715) 667-3878

PEACOCK’S BAR & GRILL..........................................................N/A

W8380 COUNTY HWY D, CONRATH, WI • (715) 532-6888


S TA N L E Y - B OY D - G R E E N W O O D PA G E Open 7 Days A Week11am - CL

*Full Bar *Video Poker *Pool *Darts .. WiFi Available! Like Us on FB!

309 N. Broadway - Stanley, WI

715-644-2340

OHIO FACTS AND TRIVIA SOURCE: https://www.50states. com /facts/ohio.htm - The first ambulance service was established in Cincinnati in 1865.

police cars and is the rubber capital of the world.

- "Hang On Sloopy" is the official state rock song.

- Ohio senator John Glenn became the oldest man to venture into outer space.On February 20, 1962 he was the first American to orbit the earth. In October of 1998 at age 77 he returned to the space program and traveled back into space.

- Ermal Fraze invented the pop-top can in Kettering.

- The Y Bridge in Zanesville was first built in 1814 to span the confluence of the Licking and Muskingum Rivers. The current bridge is the fifth construction at the same location. "Ripley's Believe It or Not" proclaimed it the only bridge in the world which you can cross and still be on the same side of the river. - Akron was the first city to use

- Cincinnati had the first professional city fire department.

- The American Federation of Labor was founded in Columbus.

- The Wright Brothers are acknowledged as inventors of the first airplane they were from Dayton.

GREAT VALENTINES GIFT LIFEGet Lucky Dice With this saucy Valentine’s Day gift for men or women, getting lucky is as easy as rolling the dice. Four pewter dice are inscribed with various words: action words, parts of speech, and body parts. Couples take turns rolling the dice and having some romantic fun.

HUSBAND & WIFE When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

- Ohio is the leading producer of greenhouse and nursery plants.

Open 7 Days A Week 10am - CL

Homemade Pizza Fresh Daily

Join Our Pizza Club

(Ask Bartender for Details)

Taco Tuesdays

Friday Fish Fry

All-U-Can-Eat WINGS Wed All Day & Night

Join Us For Great Food & Entertainment SATURDAYS - DJ / KARAOKE with Best Sound & Lights 9pm

505 E. Murray St. Boyd, WI

715-667-3441

Denny & Deb Zais Owners

BAR & GRILL

215 S. Main St. Greenwood, WI 715-267-7599

Join Us For..Wraps, Salads, Burgers, Specialty Burgers & Homemade Pizza Happy Hour: Tues - Fri 3-6p

HOURS: Tues - Fri: 11-CL, Sat: 1p - CL, Sorry Closed Mondays All Year

Tuesday 3pm - CL 5 shorties $5 & $2 burgers Bud & Bud Light A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. ‘Proverb’

Husbands are like fires - they go out if unattended. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Home of the ‘Breakfast’ Bloody Mary Served All Day Sat & Sun(s)

Stop in and check out our NEW MENU Items!

- The Pro Football Hall of Fame is located in Canton.

Double D Saloon D Bar & Grill

February 2018

- Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon. He was from Wapakoneta.

FUN TE’S

STOP IN “Voted" Best Fish Fry" by our customers. Serving our Fabulous Fish Fry Fridays 11a-9p

Hours of Service: Open 6 Days A Week @ 11a CLOSED TUESDAYS Kitchen Open until 9pm (Most Days) HAPPY HOUR: 3-6pm *Monday - Thursday

Lots of Food, Fun and Drink Specials. Starts at 4:30 pm

N9302 Cty Rd. O Greenwood, WI

Special...Prime Rib, Shrimp and Chicken Dinner Specials Serving 5-9 pm

(Located midway between Greenwood & Willard at the intersection of Cty Hwys G & O)

Phone # 715-267-6733

Sun, Feb 4th SUPERBOWL PARTY Wed. Feb. 14 Valentines "Sweetie"

Home of the ‘Heated’ Toilet Paper!

23


N E I L L S V I L L E PA G E

Open at 10a *7 Days a Week HAPPY HOUR SU - TH 4-6P Sunday Loaded Bloody $4 All Day & Night (Homemade)

STOP IN FOR VALENTINES AND HAVE A DRINK WITH US!

N272 Hwy 95 Neillsville, WI 715-743-2422 FACTS ABOUT OHIO SOURCE: https://www.50states. com /facts/ohio.htm - The popular television sit-com, "The Drew Cary Show" is set in Cleveland. - East Liverpool was the beginning point of the United

States Public Land Survey. The location was the area from which a rectangular-grid land survey system was established under the Ordinance of 1785. The survey provided for administration and subdivision of land in the Old Northwest Territory. The Ordinance stipulated that all public lands were to be divided into townships six miles square.

- Some well-known personalities were born in Ohio. Among them Steven Spielberg, Paul Newman, Annie Oakley, Arsenio Hall and Clark Gable. - The first full time automobile service station was opened in 1899 in Ohio.

Monthly Events & Extras

- In 1852 Ohio was the first state

Sat. Feb 10 - Rock Creek Disabled Outdoors Steak Feed

2nd Monday: Steak Feed Feb 12th: 1700-200 Sat. Feb 17: Hockey Steak Feed 4th Sunday Breakfast Sun 25th: 0830-1200

WEEKLY SPECIALS: Lunch Mon - Fri 1100-1300 Every Wednesday 1100-1300 Steak Sandwich Special

Fridays 1700-2000 Plated Meals Friday Nite Legion Dinner

w/ Hooves, Beaks, Scales & Tails 1700-2000

February 2018

to enact laws protecting working women.

- Ohio gave America its first hot dog in 1900. Harry M. Stevens created the popular dining dog.

SIGNS YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. You can live without sex but not without glasses. Your back goes out more than you do. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You buy a compass for the dash of your car. You are proud of your lawn mower. Your best friend is dating some-

American Legion Post #73 #6 Boon Blvd. Neillsville, WI

(Just off Hwy 10) Phone: 715-743-3859

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC JOIN US!

Large & Small Banquet & Meeting Rms Available for Meetings & Parties

Check it out...Drink Cards

Get a punch your 2nd - 8th drinks and get your 9th drink free!

one half their age ..... and isn't breaking any laws. You call Olan Mills before they call you. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. You sing along with the elevator music. You would rather go to work than stay home sick. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. You make an appointment to see the dentist. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. Neighbors borrow your tools People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?" You send money to PBS. The end of your tie doesn't come MEETING DATES:

-Legion & Ladies Auxiliary 1st Monday Monthly 7pm

- Sons of the American Legion 2nd Monday Monthly 8pm -VFW 2nd Tuesday 7pm

Weekly Events Drink Happy Mon - Fri 1600-1900

Mondays & Thursdays Sheepshead @ 12:30

24


ARCADIA - STRUM PG

Call 4 Open Bowling Times Open:T - F @ 4p & Sat @ 3p

Starting In October: Open M-F @4p & Sat @ 3p

anywhere near the top of your pants. You take a metal detector to the beach. You wear black socks with sandals. You know what the word "equity" means. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. Your ears are hairier than your head. You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn. You get into a heated argument about pension plans. You got cable for the weather channel. You can go bowling without drinking. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. Submitted By Pete Weiss Augusta, WI I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra

GREAT VALENTINES FOR HIM Sexy Truth or Dare: The classic game of truth or dare gets a racy upgrade your man will love. The game features 50 sticks, each with a sensual “truth” on one side and a dirty “dare” on the other. It’s a great valentine’s day gift for him, but you’re both sure to enjoy it together.

WHAT'S IT CALLED Our son Craig picked up his three year old daughter Emma from daycare, and on their way home he played a game with her. "Emma what is a baby dog called?" Emma said, "A puppy! Dad what is a baby cat called?" Daddy said, "A kitten!" "Emma, what is a baby cow called?" Emma said, "A Calf, Daddy what is a baby chicken called?" Daddy said, "A Chick, Emma what is a baby goat called?" Emma said, "I don't know." Daddy said, It is what we call you Emma!" Emma said, "It's a sweetheart?" Submitted by: Cindy Griesbach Stratford, WI

GIFT FOR HIM OR HER FOR VALENTINES Sweethearts Photo Collage Frame: Capture and preserve all your most cherished memories with your sweetheart. Your name, a heart, and your special someone’s name are cut out of a white mat board, with your favorite photos showing through framed.

Monthly Birthday Party - 2nd Sat. @ 10:30pm *Join Us on YOUR Birthday! * GIFT CARD DRAWING

Fridays 4-7pm

Open 6 Day’s a Week Monday - Saturday

11 4 5 t h Ave. Strum, WI

February 2018

(715) 695 - 3687

THE HAIRCUT One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for

UPCHUC K

S

120 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI (608) 323-9907 OPEN: M-Th Noon - 2am F & Sa 10am - 2:30am Sun 10am - 2am DAILY DRINK SPECIALS DJ Music: Th, Fri, & Sa 9-Cl (Safe Rides Available)

a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it. Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason. Submitted By: Bert Engel Chippewa Falls, WI

UNIQUE VALENTINES GIFT Express your love for each other by creating your own artwork as you are being intimate. Spread a new clean sheet on floor or bed and put splashes of color (skin safe) on your bodies.. then while loving on the sheet your create your own wall art for bedroom!

UNCLE SAM’S OF ARCADIA

Tues: Free soda, Dom Beer, or Rail Drink w/purchase of a Burger Bsk or any Dinner Happy Hr: Wed: $0.50 Cent Wings T -F 2-6p (Check out our Flavors!) & FREE Pool

Thurs: $1 OFF Stuffed Burgers (Made to order basket) Fri: Pizza & 6 Pk Dom Beer $20 Sat: $1.50 Busch Lights 12-8pm Sun: $1.50 Busch Lights, $2 Dom Beers, Chips & Dip

NEW EXPANDED MENU STOP IN & EAT WITH US! NEW HOURS: Tues - Thru: 11am - CL, Fri: 6am - CL and Sat & Sun 10am - CL

309 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI

(608) 323-7USA (7872)

25


Enter to Win Movie Tickets

for Micon Theatres Chippewa Falls & Eau Claire, WI Theaters

January 2018 Winner

Todd Retzer

of Hager City, WI

Send in your entry TODAY! Grub & Pub Report PO Box 473 Chippewa Fall, WI 54729!

MOVIE TRIVIA

ANSWERS TO JANUARY TRIVIA: 1. Star Wars 2. Brain 3. 1993 4. Toto 5. Ellen Degeneres FEBRUARY 2018 TRIVIA QUESTIONS 1.Which actress played Katniss Everdeen in "The Hunger Games"?

2. The title role of the 1900's movie, "Pretty Woman", was played by whom? 3. What fictional city is the home of Batman?

4. What fictional planet is the "Superman", from? 5. What famous actor is known for the saying, "I'll be back"?

February 2018

THE FINAL INSPECTION The Soldier stood and faced God, Which must always come to pass. He hoped his shoes were shining, Just as brightly as his brass.. 'Step forward now, Soldier , How shall I deal with you? Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?' The soldier squared his shoulders and said, 'No, Lord, I guess I ain't. Because those of us who carry guns, Can't always be a saint. I've had to work most Sundays, And at times my talk was tough. And sometimes I've been violent, Because the world is awfully rough. But, I never took a penny, That wasn't mine to keep... Though I worked a lot of overtime, When the bills got just too steep. And I never passed a cry for help,Though at times I shook with fear..And sometimes, God, forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears. I know I don't deserve a place, Among the people here. They never wanted me around, Except to calm their fears If you've a place for me here, Lord, It needn't be so grand. I never expected or had too much, But if you don't, I'll understand. There was a silence all around the throne, Where the saints had often trod. As the Soldier waited quietly, For the judgment of his God. 'Step forward now, you Soldier, You've borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully on Heaven's

C O N R AT H - H O L C O M B E PA G E

NOW... BOOKING FOR THE WINTER CANCUN AND DOMINICAN VACATIONS Go to..

affordabledominicanvacations.com

streets, You've done your time in Hell.' Unknown Author Submitted By: Patricia Mann Fairchild, WI

A HUG CERTIFICATE FOR YOU! This poem is very sweet. If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you And share with you its beauty On the days you're feeling blue. If I could build a mountain You could call your very own; A place to find serenity, A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles I would toss them in the sea, But all these things, I'm finding, Are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain Or catch a rainbow fair, But let me be what I know best, A friend who's always there.. Submitted By: Steve Martin 10 years ago the USA had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Johnny Cash. Now the USA has no Jobs, no Hope, and no Cash.

MAP OF USA A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little girl. She wanted to know what the United States looked like. Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to her and said, 'Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. After a few minutes, she returned and handed him the map, correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly.. 'Oh,' she said, 'on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where he belonged, then our country just came together.' Submitted By: Sandy O'Connell DO YOU KNOW OHIO -50% of the United States population lives within a 500 mile radius of Columbus. - W.F. Semple of Mount Vernon patented chewing gum in 1869. - Fostoria is the only city to be situated in three counties (Seneca, Hancock & Wood).

Jimmy’s World Bar & Campground

N1745 Rangeline Rd. Conrath, WI Bar # 715-532-0637 / Cell # 715-403-3867 OPEN Great Fishing, Tubing, Canoeing right on Main Creek Noon - CL Laundry Facility, Camp Store, 18 Full RV Hook-up 7 Days a Week Sites & 54 Primitive Sites,Heated Shower House On ATV Trail We Have An... Apartment For Rent .. Call Today!

26


GRANTON - OSSEO - TONY PAGE

FE BRUARY 20 18 INSIDE SCOOP S T O RY DAR L I N G S G I F T S OSSEO - WI Written By: Dyzzi Baker

Valentines .. it always sends us into a tailspin wondering what to get for that special someone in our lives to express our love and devotion to them.. and our attraction. Well, fret no more! Darlings Gifts 'Your Adult Super Store' has two locations; 12536

Gunderson Rd in Osseo and 7015 Hwy 51 S. in Hazelhurst, WI along with a sister store; Eldorado's located at 3219 Church St. in Steven's Point, WI. Owner Mark Syring says he has you covered for all those Valentines needs and any other special days thru out the year that you want to express some special feelings! Darling's is the store where you.. ‘Get More for Your Money and More for Your Honey’. Although adult stores are controversial, Mark has made efforts in his stores to become

more of a gift shop as well as carrying adult products and really his shop has become more like an adult boutique where he tries to be sensitive to not only woman’s needs but also those of the community as well. What does this mean for Mark’s customers? Well it means that you are not bombarded with adult paraphernalia as soon as you walk in the store. Instead Mark’s stores are set up so that when you enter your eyes will fall on all kinds of softer gift items in the front of the store and anything more (adult) orientated you need to go look for in the back of the store. Check out Darlings Gifts and Eldorado… Mark has one of the largest tobacco shops in house in the Midwest where he offers e-cigs, vapes, packs, flavor liquids, hookahs, and one of the largest varieties of rolling papers

Mickey’s Bar & Grill

Open: Wed - Sun @ 11am Happy Hour: 4 - 6pm T-F 50cents OFF ALL Drinks!

Serving Full Menu till 10pm PIZZA ANYTIME! Try Our ..SPORTY BURGER

(715) 532-7598

N5399 Walnut St. Tony, WI

around from Bob Marley, Abadie, Rasta Roy, Nine Dragons, Giser, plus novelty and Zippo lighters and more. You will also find gag gift items at Darlings Gifts for the Bachelor and Bachelorette, Bride and Groom, Over 30, 40, 50 and Over the Hill! (Conti. page 28)

Osseo: Open 9a -11p Sun-Thurs & 9a - 12a Fri - Sat Stevens Point & Hazelhurst: Open10a -11p Sun - Thurs & 10a -12a Fri -Sat

TOMMY’S HILLTOP

Open Sun – Thurs 9A - 2a Fri & Sa – 9A - 2:30am

*Sunday Breakfast Served 9-11a

Join us at Tommy’s Hilltop for Great Food, Great Service and Friendly Conversation TODAY! W2860 US Hwy 10, Granton, WI 54436

February 2018

(715) 238-7852

27


CORNELL

108 W. Miner Ave. Ladysmith, WI 715-532-7757 Happy Hour: M-F 3-6pm ‘Hometown Bar for All’

FEBRUARY 201 8 INSIDE SCOOP S TO RY DA R L I N G S G I F T S OSSEO - WI Written By: Dyzzi Baker (Continued from page 27)

Darlings Gifts and Eldorado's also carries what Mark says is the most obscene amount of quality lingerie and corsets you have ever seen in one place from such designers as; Shirley’s of Hollywood, Elegant Moments, Jezebel

Jim’s

Shady Nook Resort (Located on Pike Lake)

*Bar * Restaurant *Cabins *Campground *Seasonal RV Sites Happy Hr: 4-7p M -Th

Sun $3 Bloody Marys All Day! OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 10a-CL Memorial Day Thru Labor Day FRIDAY FISH FRY w/ Soup& Salad Bar 4-9p EVERY SATURDAY BBQ Pork Ribs & Smoked Prime Rib 4-9p 12oz.or 16oz.

16061 296th St. Cornell, WI

715-667-3878

February 2018

etc. specializing in plus sizes that ladies drive all the way from the cities to buy to petite. Everyone can find something pretty to wear at Darlings and ladies may I say that this lingerie is SO SOFT.. it feels like you are wearing nothing at all! Every month there is a new 20% off lingerie based on the color of the month and 25% off leather special for anyone who walks in the door! Darlings Gifts also has clothing from designer jeans, Indian shirts and skirts, t-shirts, hats, scarves and even purses from South America. If you are a leather or motorcycle enthusiast Mark also carries a large and varied selection of leathers from bike bags, hand bags, to jackets, vest, chaps and full driving suits. Check out his

- HOLCOMBE - LADYS MITH

store for some amazing specials each month.. you will be surprised what you find for yourself, your honey and many other people on your gift buying list as Mark offers such a wide variety of items in his stores such as; a very large selection of elegant evening dresses, perfumes, and also costumes and wigs for Halloween or other fun occasions. Plus, belt buckles, South American, hemp and glitzy jewelry, throwing knives and collector swords, 1000’s of DVD’s, magazines and books from 50 Shades of Grey to helpful books to enhance your love life. Plus all the toys and supplies needed to make your nights (and afternoons) special from lotions, massage oils, and personal moisturizers to candles, over 25 different scented incense, and even very pretty one of a kind lamps and unique cards and gift bags for any occasion, unique artwork and

27575 263rd Ave. Holcombe WI 715-595-4092 FREE Pool Sundays! Open: Noon - CL *7 Days A Week Feb 3: Music by ..Eric TOUTANT & Mike 3-7 pm. Mar 17: Mark YOUR CALENDAR.. St. Patricks day parade at noon. Call bar for details.

All Day.. BLOODY MARY Sunday: Bloody Marys w/ 12 Ingredients Only $4.50

Happy Hour: Mon & Tues Op to CL & Wed-Fri 3- 6p 50 Taps, $1.00 Mugs, $1.75 Dom Beer, $2.00 Rails

specialty chairs! Darlings Gifts and Eldorado's even have Detox System Cleansers for those who are health conscious! As you can see Darlings Gifts isn’t just an adult store..It’s a gift shop/ boutique and Mark says not everything has to be scummy when you think of being intimate. Instead, time with your honey should be fun, interesting and engaging and Mark’s stores have just what you need to ‘Ignite Your Flames of Passion’. So stop in to Darlings or Eldorado's today... and look around ..you never know just what might trip your trigger.

NORTH Bar & Grill

116 Main Street Cornell, WI (715)239-6677

Open Daily 6am-Cl

Always a great ... Friday Night Fish Fry! ** Call for Carry Outs!** BREAKFAST SERVED ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

Great bartenders, Great cooks..Stop in soon!

28


TEACHIN' NEW TRICKS A young man from Arkansas went off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he called home. "Dad, you won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing, how do I get Ole' Blue in that program?" "Just send him over here with $1,000 and I can get him in the course." His Father sent the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again ran out. The boy called home. "So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asked.

FREE Juke Box Fridays

On Lake Holcombe Bar, Restaurant, Cabins, Campground 840 Hwy. 27 N. Holcombe, WI

Y EAR R OUND F ULLY E QUIPPED C ABINS SLEEP UP TO 8 PRICED FROM $700 WK

Book online @ bigswedes.com

or call 715-595-4284

ENTERTAINMENT: FREE POOL TUESDAYS! FREE JUKE BOX FRI. NITES DJ/KARAOKE SAT. NITES

Join Us... Fri. Fish Fry w/ Full Salad Bar

TAKING SM PARTY BOOKINGS..!

February 2018

H O L C O M B E PA G E

"Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm, but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" "Read!?" No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrived. The Arkie and his girlfriend were able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up with a lie for him. She had him shoot the dog. When the young man arrived home at the end of the year, his Father was very excited. "Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!" "Dad, I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually did. Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?" The Father went white. "I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!" The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville. He became Governor of Arkansas and

President of the United States. You already know what his girlfriend turned out to be. Submitted By: Richard Anderson

FACTS ABOUT OHIO SOURCE: https://www.50state s.com/facts/ohio.htm - East 105th Street and Euclid Avenue in Cleveland was the site of the first pedestrian button for the control of a traffic light. The boy chosen for the 1948 newsreel to demonstrate its operation was Louis Spronze.

- Dresden is the home of the world's largest basket. It is located at Basket Village USA. - Ohio's state flag is a pennant

design. It is the only state flag of that design in the United States.

- Ohio University was founded in 1804 at Athens and is recognized as the first university in Ohio and in the Northwest Territory.

- Oberlin College was founded in 1833.It was the first interracial and coeducational college in the United States.

- The Glacial Grooves on the north side of Kelleys Island are the largest easily accessible such grooves in the world. They were scoured into solid limestone bedrock about 18,000 years ago by the great ice sheet that covered part of North America. Visit Ohio.. for romance!

KA KUR O P UZ ZL E

Complete the kakuro puzzle. Place a number from 1 to 9 in each empty cell. Do not repeat any numbers in a given block. Hints are shown in grey squares. The number below a diagonal line is the sum of the numbers below it. The number above a diagonal line is the sum of the numbers to the right of it. There is more than one answer.

29


The Rut

N705 Cty Rd. M. Sarona, WI 715-354-3250

Join Us for... Beer, Booze, & Fun

Live Music

Entertainment Calendar for listings

SMOKING, DRINKING, AND UNMARRIED FOOLING AROUND God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried fooling around if she wanted to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. "Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there." "They don’t like that in heaven,” said God. The woman replied, "They're not too happy about it in GORDY’S IGA either!" Submitted By: Jerry Torkelson Chippewa Falls, WI Come Watch the PACKERS *tackle with us

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SNACK LUNCHES I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,' I thought. Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me. 'Petawawa. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Afghanistan. After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time... As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to base.' His friend agreed. I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. 'Take a lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet Summer & Winter Accommodations

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with tears, she thanked me. 'My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for him.' Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?' 'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. 'This is your thanks.' After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me twenty-five dollars. Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand and said, 'I want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier and I was a military

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pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers. Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm. When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twentyfive dollars! Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventyfive dollars. 'It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.' Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little... A veteran is someone who, at one Pizza, Soups, Burgers, Fish Fry All Your Yummy Eats!

Happy Valentines Day! Located on Main St. in Brill, WI (715) 234 - 1823

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point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America 'for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.' Submitted By: James Boettiger Chippewa Falls, WI

Here is a special Happy Valentines ‘THANK YOU!, to all of our Veterans around the world. You gave your heart and I give you mine along with all of the readers of the Grub and Pub Report who still believe in the American way and freedom. We appreciate your sacrifices and the blank check you made out when joining the military.. not knowing all that you would see, witness, ...do. But you stay(ed) your course for our freedom and freedom around the world for those who are oppressed. Thank you and May God Bless YOU and Your families who have sacrificed their time with you for all of us!! Dyzzi Baker Q&A Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? A: Because he was always spotted.

Reach out to a lonely person! Mike & Ellie’s

Shady Rest Campground & Poor Folks Saloon (Located on 1300 Acre Bear Lake) 2883 17 3/4th St. Rice Lake, WI 715-234-7339

Open:

Mon - Thurs @5pm Fri - Sun @ Noon

Serving: Pizza & Hamburgers Daily Check Out Our .. George Jones Memorabilia!

February 2018

H AUG EN - R IC E L A KE P G

THE STUTTERING CAT Little Johnny was in biology class and the teacher stated the Human beings were the only living things that stuttered. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "I once had a cat that stuttered." "How is that?" the teacher asked. Little Johnny replied "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the neighbors big dog jumped over the fence." "That must have been really scarey!" the teacher replied. "It sure was!" said Johnny, "My kitty arched it's back and went fffff! fffff! fffff!, but before she could say the word "FUCK" , the dog ate her." Submitted By: Kevin Stanton Q&A Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

SMART COMMENT So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world.

SENIOR TEXTING CODES OMG, these are good. ATD - At The Doctors BFF - Best Friend Fell BTW - Bring the Wheelchair BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth FWIW - Forgot Where I Was GGPBL - Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out OMMR - On My Massage Recliner OM...SG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas ROFLACGU - Rolling on the floor laughing and can't get up Submitted By: Janice Carteron

A COLD WEATHER TALE It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?' 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold, 'the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes, 'the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.' The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later, the chief called Meet Andy & Jill at...

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the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely, 'the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.' 'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked... The weatherman replied, 'The Native Americans are collecting a shitload of firewood." Submitted By: Jerry Torkelson Chippewa Falls, WI SHORT JOKES How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west. A newly disnosed blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well. 2251 Cty SS - Rice Lake, WI 715-719-0669 *Just West of the Rice Lake Speedway *Friendly Beer & Liquor Bar

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Homemade

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REMEMBER SLOW FOOD Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?' 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up, I informed him. 'All the food was slow.' 'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?' 'It was a place called 'at Home,'' I explained! 'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I

was allowed to sit there until I did like it.' By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it : Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levi’s, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died. My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing

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February 2018

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ETTRICK - HUMBIRD P I G E O N FA L L S P G

the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people. I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had. I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line. Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers--my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive. If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

FACTS ABOUT OHIO SOURCE: https://www.50states .com/facts/ohio.htm - Marietta was Ohio's first permanent settlement. Founded in 1788 by General Rufus Putnam and named in honor of Marie Antoinette, then queen of France. - Chillicothe was Ohio's first capital city.

- Cleveland became the world's first city to be lighted electrically in 1879. - Thomas A. Edison from Milan developed the incandescent light bulb, phonograph, and early motion picture camera. He was born on February 11, 1847 in

BIG

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Milan, Ohio; the seventh and last - Paul Laurence Dunbar of child of Samuel and Nancy Dayton is known as the poet Edison. When Edison was seven laureate of African Americans. his family moved to Port Huron, Happy Michigan. Edison lived here until Valentines Bob.. he struck out on his own at the age I have been waiting for you all my of sixteen. - John Lambert of Ohio City made America's first automobile in 1891. - Charles Kettering of Loundonville invented the automobile self-starter in 1911.

- Charles Goodyear of Akron developed the process of vulcanizing rubber in 1839.

- Roy J. Plunkett of New Carlisle invented Teflon in 1938.

- John Mercer Langston is believed to have been the first African American elected to public office. He was elected clerk of Brownhelm in 1854.

- Long jumper DeHart Hubbard was the first African American to earn an Olympic Gold Medal. The award occurred during the 1924 Olympics games held in Paris. He set the record for long jumping.

- Jesse Owens grew up in Cleveland. He won four gold medals in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin.

life.. Luv D

MEMORIES FROM A FRIEND My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with water because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old. How many do you remember? Head lights dimmer switches on the floor. Ignition switches on the dashboard. Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall. Real ice boxes. Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner. Using hand signals for cars without turn signals. Saturday cleaning after cartoons

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February 2018

E T T R I C K - M E L R O S E PA G E

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DOROTHY AND EDNA Dorothy: ''That nice Bob Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.'' Edna: ''Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car...A limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... A marvelous dinner.... Lobster, champagne,dessert and afterdinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into a ANIMAL. Completely crazy,he tears off my expensive new dress, rips it to bits, and has his way with me three times!''

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Dorothy: ''Goodness gracious! So you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?'' Edna: ''No, no, no... I'm just saying.......... wear an old dress!!" Submitted By: Judy Dahl Bloomer, WI

CUTTING IT CLOSE A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does." Submitted By: Kevin Stanton

JC’s Pizza & Pub J o i n U s f o r Delicious .. H o m e - made Pizza, B u r g ers & Subs *Great Food / Friendly Service OPEN Tues. thru Sat. 4p to CL

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HOROSCOPE COLUMN BY: Neeta Colaco of Mumbai, India

Email neetagcolaco@gmail.com

Horoscopes are for Recreational Purposes Only. Horoscopes coming again soon!

OLDER THAN DIRT QUIZ Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom. 1. Blackjack chewing gum

Facebook.com/ neeta colaco dalal

2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles 5. Coffee shops or diners with table side jukeboxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

Curvy Word Puzzle

(Answers pg 40)

B L A C K R I V E R FA L L S - P R AY

7. Party lines on the telephone 8 Newsreels before the movie 9. P.F. Flyers 10. Butch wax 11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels...[if you were fortunate) 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy Doody 14. 45 RPM records 15.S&H green stamps 16. Hi-fi's 17. Metal ice trays with lever 18. Mimeograph paper 19. Blue flashbulb 20. Packard’s 21. Roller skate keys 22.Cork popguns 23. Drive-ins 24. Studebakers 25. Wash tub wringers If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young If you remembered 6-10 = You

are getting older If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age, If you remembered 16-25 = You' re older than dirt! I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life. Don't forget to pass this along!! Especially to all your really good OLD FRIENDS Submitted By: Mike Greenwold . SOMETHING TO PONDER The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene on Capitol Hill for the Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital. A search for a Virgin also continues. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

SUDUKO ‘Hard’ Puzzle

February 2018

PG

(Ans. pg 40)

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GETTING THE POLICE George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turnoff the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me." Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up. Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" (True Story) Don't mess with old people

B L A C K R I V E R FA L L S P G

GETTING OLDER A few chuckles for seniors. A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.." *********************** An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." ( I LOVE THIS !) *********************** AGING Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say, "you don't look that old." ***********************

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February 2018

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. (Mostly because we forgot why we were waiting in line in the first place !!) *********************** Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. *********************** In a restaurant, you overhear a blond ask the waitress, "How much are the refills?" The waitress responds, "They're free." The blond says, "Okay, I'll take one of those." *********************** A reporter asks an old man his secret to longevity. He responds, "I never argue with anyone." The reporter exclaims, "I don't believe it! That can't possibly be true." The old man says, "I guess you're right."

BOYS ARE JUST LITTLE MEN An inexperienced young man, prior to his wedding, asked his father how to conduct himself. "Well," said the father, "you take the thing you used to play with when you were a teenager and put it where your wife wee-wees." So the young man took his baseball and threw it into the toilet.

Bev’s

Saddle Mound Tap

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FORBIDDEN QUESTION A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: "Put it on my bill."

ENTERTAINMENT Sat. Feb 16 Polar Plunge benefit

Fri. Feb. 16

Network for Youth

Sun. Feb. 25 1-5pm

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P U Z Z L E A N S W E R PA G E S

WORD SEARCH PUZZLE ANSWERS

WHERE IS A GREAT PLACE TO ADVERTISE Your Restaurant, Bar or Service Business, Goods & Services??

THE GRUB AND PUB REPORT (Hand delivered to over 300 locations in a 75 mile radius of Chippewa Falls, WI) Contact Dyzzi @ 715-456-7518 or email dyzzi42@yahoo.com CAVIAR: The undeveloped young of careless fish. Boys are just little men. Men are just big boys.

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February 2018

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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. And thank goodness for aging!

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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. ********* Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. *********

KARUKO PUZZLE ANSWERS

February 2018

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First you forget names, then you out for me. For weeks now, every www.mlmrockstar1.jeunesseglobal.comhttps://jeunesseshare.com/share/mlmrockstar1/en-US/?v=141 time I go to the bathroom in the forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your middle of the night, he turns the light on for me." zipper... it's even worse when Concerned, the doctor finds Mrs. you forget to pull it down. Smith in the waiting room and tells her what her husband said. CHECK-UP An elderly man visits the doctor " I don't think it's anything to for a checkup. "You're in great worry about," she says, "And on shape, Mr. Smith." says the doctor. the bright side, it does explain "How do you do it?" who's been peeing in the fridge." Submitted By: P.S.Thatcher, "Well, I don't drink, I don't smoke, and the good Lord looks Bayport MN

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSWERS

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ON-GOING WEEKLY ENTERTAINMENT

Mondays: -Pump House- Downing- Karaoke every Monday night starting @ 7PM Tuesdays: -The Bungalow – Lakeland MNJorgensen Tagg Duo Acoustic from 6-8 -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- : Wed Live music Sarah OR Nici Peper (alternating) Wednesdays: -Golden Spike - Altoona- Karaoke 9-C. -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- Acoustic Shows every Wednesday 6 to 8pm! Thursdays:

-Girolamo’s - E.C. - Karaoke 9P -1st & Goal - C.F. - DJ Not2Shy -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke -Foster Bar-Foster- Patio Live Music -Rookies - C. F. - ‘The Four’ Karaoke Contest 8:30 Feb - March

Fridays: -The Bungalow, Lakeland MNDJ Dance & Karaoke 9pm-12:30am -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke Every Other Friday Night w/ Todd Olson -Big Swedes- Holcombe-Free Juke Box Every Friday Night @10pm -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke 9p-1am! -Rookies Pub- C.F.-DJ or Band Every Weekend -The Hub-Ellsworth-Karaoke Friday nite at 9p to 12a. -Jake’s Supper Club-Menomonie- Live piano music w/Duane Shaw every Friday from 7 to 10pm Saturdays: -Big Swedes- HolcombeDJ/Karaoke10p -Foolish Pleasures-Strum-Karaoke 2nd Sat. Monthly w/ Ron LaTour 9-? -Brick House- E.C.-- Karaoke @9pm -Double D - Boyd- Best Sound DJ 9P -Uncle Sam’s of Arcadia – House DJ -Golden Spike - Altoona- Karaoke 9-C. -The Hub-Ellsworth-Free Juke Box every SAT from 7pm to close -Rookies Pub- C.F.-DJ or Band Sundays -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Oldies DJ Music Sundays @3pm

JANUARY 2018 ENTERTAINMENT

FRIDAY, JANUARY 26 -Bear Creek Band- Foster Bar in Foster, WI from 9 to 1 -Wabasha VFW Post 4086James "Mudcat" Grant 7 to 11p -VFW POST 7232 –E.C.–Rich DJ SATURDAY, JANUARY 27 -Bear Creek Band- Sunset Tavern - Black River Falls 8-12a -SnowBiz events at Cleghorn, WI

February 2018

E N T E R TA I N M E N T S C H E D U L E PA G E 1

- Wabasha VFW Post 4086Fireman's Dance (open to public after 8pm) -VFW POST 7232 –E.C.–Nite Hawk SUNDAY, JANUARY 28 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom Open Mic hosted by Two Frets Up 6 to 9pm -Sunset Tavern–BRFDustin Lamb and Friends 1-5pm

FEBRUARY 2018 ENTERTAINMENT

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1 -Bear Creek Band- Dakota Sioux Casino in Watertown, SD 8:30p-1:30a FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – 4 Cast 8-12 -Bear Creek Band- Dakota Sioux Casino in Watertown, SD 8:30p-1:30a -The Bungalow – Lakeland MN- Idol Finals 9-12pm

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 3 -Linda & Dan’s T &C- C.F. The Dead Ringers 9-1 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – Black Sheep 8-12 -VFW Post 305-E.C.Mark Healey & Jim Schuh Duo -Hilltop- WoodvilleChad & Dirt Road Ent. @8pm -Cookie’s Holcombe Inn – Holcombe- Music By Eric Toutant & Mike. 3-7p SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 4 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom -

NO JAM SUPER BOWL

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 6 -The Bungalow – Lakeland MN- Sam Kuusisto 5-7pm

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 7 -Bear Creek BandNorthwoods Brew Pub Country Jam in Osseo, WI (BC Boys) 7p-10p FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 9 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – DJ

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 9 (Continued) -Bear Creek Band- Red Arrow Bar in Huron, SD 9:30p - 1:30a -Hilltop- Woodville- Jeff Loven -Wabasha VFW- The ZackaryZ 8pm - 12am SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 10 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – Jeff White 8-12 -Bear Creek Band- Red Arrow Bar in Huron, SD 9:30 - 1:30 -Sidetracks-Roberts"Extravabandsa" 11am-10pm *Featuring local bands all day!!!

-Wabasha VFW-Flipside from 7:30p - 11:30p

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 11 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom Bluegrass Jam w/River City Ramblers 6 to 9pm

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 13 -Bungalow, Lakeland, MN Mouldy Figs Fat Tuesday, 5-8pm WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14 -The Bungalow – Lakeland MN- Trandy Blue 5-8pm

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 16 -Bear Creek Band- The Landing in North Bend, WI 9p-1a -Hilltop- Woodville- 32 Below -Wabasha VFW-James "Mudcat" Grant from 7 -11p -Sunset Tavern – BRFNetwork for Youth SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 17 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – Nite Hawk 8-12 -Bear Creek Band- Trail's end Resort in Hayward, WI 9p-1a SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 18 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom Classic Country Jam w/Sandy Kay & The Chippewa River Band 6 to 9pm

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 -The Bungalow – Lakeland MN- Paul Esch 5-7pm

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 23 -Linda and Dan’s T &C- C.F. The Cragars 9-1 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – DJ -Bear Creek Band-VFW POST 4086 in Wabasha, MN -Wabasha VFW-Grumpy Old Men Days / Bear Creek Band

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 24 -Linda & Dan’s T &C- C.F. The Cragars 9-1 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – 40 Fingers 8-12 -Bear Creek Band- Mole Lake Casino in Mole Lake, WI 8- 12a -Wabasha VFW-Grumpy Old Men Days / Zuber the DJ 8pm - 12am SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 25 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom Anything Goes Open Mic w/Two Frets Up 6 to 9pm -Sunset Tavern – BRFGinny and The Right Combination 1-5 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom Old Time Music w/Top Notchmen 1 to 4pm -The Bungalow – Lakeland MN- Rudy Rudesill 5-7pm

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Movies & Times Subject to Change: Feb. 2 - Winchester: The House That Ghosts Built, Feb. 9 - Fifty Shades Freed,

Feb. 9 - Peter Rabbit, Feb. 9 - The 15:17 to Paris, Feb. 16 - The Black Panther, Feb. 16 - Early Man, Feb. 16 - Lamkins, Feb. 16 - Samson, Feb. 23 - Annihilation, Feb. 23 - Every Day, Feb. 23 - War with Grandpa

Entertainment Schedule Page 2

BAR OLYMPICS: -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie4th Sat. Bar Olympics 7:30p

BEAN BAG /DART / KNUBB -Behind Barr’s – GreenwoodThursdays - Bean Bags - starts at 7 -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie- Bean bag Tourney's Tuess @ 6:30p -VFW Post-305-E.C. - Every Wed: in House Bean Bag League -Loopy’s – C.F- Monday night Kubb and Bean Bag leagues

BIRTHDAY / ANNIVERSARY PARTIES: -Fool ish Pleasures-Strum 2nd Sat. 10:30pm- Monthly

BINGO / MUSIC BINGO: -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie-Music Bingo ( Feb 23rd) 4th Friday -Burly’s-C.F.- Bingo Sundays 1pm -LeRoy’s-C.F.- Thurs. Bingo 7-9pm -the Bungalow- Lakeland, MNSat. Bingo 2pm cont.. w/20p -The Hub-Ellsworth- Tues Bingo -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie Music Bingo" Tuesday's at 5:00 -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Wednesday - Bingo @7pm -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie-Bingo Every Wednesday night -Back 40- Bloomer- FREE Bingo every Sunday Night @ 5p

BREAKFAST CLUB: -The Pump House-Downing- Sa & SU 8:30 - 12 -The Bungalow -Lakeland, MNThur & Fri 8a till 10:45/ Sat & Sun 7:30-a till 11:45 Sunday Brunch 9am-1:30p -Exit 45-Menom. - Breakfast All Day, -Bev’s Saddlemound Tap - PrayServing Breakfast Sat & Sun 8-10:30a -Jake’s -Menom. -Sunday brunch 10-2p -Dwyers-Pigeon Falls -Breakfast Mon-Fri at 7:30 a.m. Sat & Sun 8a -Big T’s North-Cornell Serves Breakfast 6a-8p every day!

February 2018

SPECIAL OCCASION DATES OTHER THAN MUSIC

BREAKFAST CLUB: (continued) -Corral Bar & Grill - Durand - Serving breakfast from 5am – 11:30 am daily. -Side Tracks-Roberts- Serving breakfast Sat. 8-11am $ Sun 9a-noon -Village Inn, North Hudson- Serving Breakfast daily 8-11am

CARD, CRIBBAGE, DICE: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Thursday Euchre @7pm -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood- Sunday Texas Hold Em -starts at 1pm -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleMon & Thurs @ 13:00 Sheepshead -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie3rd Sat. Mon Smear Tourney at Noon -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- Poker every Tues night & 2nd Sat. of the month -The Hub-Ellsworth- Euchre every Sunday starting at 2pm -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie Ducky dice throughout Winter" CHILI CONTEST: -Hilltop- Woodville- SUN Feb 11 - Chili Contest @2pm

COMEDIAN: -Hilltop- Woodville- FRI Feb 8 - Comedian Kevin Kraft @8pm - $10 cover

DART & POOL TOURNAMENTS: -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood- Every Thursday @ 7. "Show Up & Shoot" - in-house pool tourney -Hilltop- Woodville- FRI Feb 2 - Chicago Style Dart Tourney - Luck of the Draw - 7:00 sign up / 150% Payback -Sidetracks-Roberts-Sat., Feb. 3rd Annual Etta Johnston Dart Tourney 11A sign up -Slim’s- Lk Hallie- Pool Tourney Feb 3 & 24 -Burly’s-C.F.- Annual Co-Ed Valentines Dart Tourney Feb 10: Bring Your Own Partner $10 pp entry $400 added starts 2pm/ sign up by 1pm DRAWINGS & MONEY WHEEL: -LeRoy’s-C.F.- Bingo- Wheel of Money on Thursday Nights 7-9

FEEDS, BREAKFASTS: -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleSat. Feb 10 - Rock Creek Disabled Outdoors Steak Feed Mon. Feb 12 - Steak Feed 1700-2000 Sat. Feb 17 - Hockey Steak Feed Sun. Feb 25 - Breakfast 0830-1200

FUNDRAISERS: -Sunset Tavern – BRF- Feb 16 Network for Youth

ICE FISHING TOURNAMENTS: -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club –Lake Hallie38th Annual Adult Ice Fishing Contest Feb 3rd 12-3pm -Slim’s- Lk Hallie- Annual Ice Fishing Contest February 10th! -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club –Lake HallieKids Ice Fishing Contest Feb 17th 12-2pm MEAT RAFFLE:

-Eagle’s Club-Hallie-Every Thursday -The Bungalow, Lakeland MN- Sat. 1pm -Ritz on the River-C.F. - Thurs. 5:30pm -Wabasha VFW Post -Wabasha, MN every Friday - Meat Raffle @6pm

POLAR PLUNGE: -Sunset Tavern – BRF- Sat. Feb 16 Polar Plunge benefit -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – Feb 25th Pre Polar Plunge Party 7:00am to ???, Breakfast specials, Bloody Mary Specials, Raffles, Music and more. shuttle stop to and from half moon for plungers SNOWMOBILE CLUB EVENTS: -Back 40- Bloomer-Feb 10: Sno-hawk Snowmobile Club Meat Raffle * Benefits Charitable Causes -Back 40- Bloomer-Feb 17: Vintage Snowmobile Party & Craft Fair

ST. PATRICK’S DAY EVENTS -Cookie’s Holcombe Inn – HolcombeSt. Patricks day parade sat. March 17th at noon. Call bar for details. SUPER BOWL PARTIES -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood- Sun, Feb 4th,

Super Bowl party - Starts at 4:30 pm Lots of Food, Fun and Drink Specials. Slim’s- Lk Hallie- Super Bowl Party

TRIVIA: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Monday - Trivia @7pm -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie- 2nd Friday (Feb 9th) Trivia Night at 7pm

VALENTINES DAY WED., FEB. 14TH -Bresina’s – Tilden –Valentine's Day Dinner. Saturday February 17, 2018 5PM-9PM RSVP Serving: Prime Rib OR Prime Rib & Shrimp (deep fried or garlic buttered) -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood-Valentines "Sweetie" Special...Prime Rib, Shrimp & Chicken Dinner Specials Serving 5-9 pm -Back 40- Bloomer-Valentine’s Dinner Specials Starts @ 4p (See website details) -Pit Stop – C. F. -Valentine Sweetheart Dinner Specials offered all day.. RSVP! VOLLEYBALL: -Loopy’s – C.F- Winter/Spring volleyball leagues. Starts Jan. 1st runs through April.Sun - TH nights. -Loopy’s - C.F. - Tots in the Sand Every Monday Day in our "heated sand" dome, 10 to noon, $5 per child, drink and healthy snacks provided. - Loopy’s - C.F. -Mid Season Winter / Spring Volleyball Sign Up Starts in Feb only “heated sand” volleyball dome WINE TASTING:-The BungalowLakeland, MN -2nd Thurs monthly wine tasting 6-8p Wine & Apps Feb 8, Gary La Rue 6-8pm -Loopy’s – C.F-The Kiwanis Club of Chippewa Falls 17th Annual Kiwanis Classic Tasting Gala Sat., Feb. 3rd

WRESTLING

-Eagle’s Club-Feb 10th: Showtime Championship Wrestling *Doors open 6p Starts at 7pm Tickets: General Admission $12 /Front Row $15 / Proceeds to benefit Feed My People Food Bank ($2.00 off ticket price with non-perishable food item donation)

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February 2018

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February 2018 Grub and Pub  
February 2018 Grub and Pub  
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