Issuu on Google+

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HI NS AL TIO CI LA RE PE S

Yorkshire & North East

ISSUE #108, AUTUMNSEXY 2008 GAY MAG THE FIT AND ISSUE #110, WINTER 2009

Need a man? GMFA’s new course can help you find one

Should you chuck him? Take the quiz and find out

The

AtoZ

6 of relationships

So much good advice, you’ll want to get a boyfriend just to try it.

+

WAYS TO BE FITTER

“I THINK MY BOYFRIEND HAS AIDS” GET FIT WITH DINO THE LATEST FROM POSITIVE ADAM


A registered charity in England & Wales (no.288527) and in Scotland (no.SC039986).


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THE FIT AND SEXY GAY MAG ISSUE #110 WINTER 2009

Welcome Relationships... I have a friend who when he is in a relationship all he does is complain about his boyfriend, his lack of freedom, and how his life would be better if he was single. But when he is single, he spends half his time moaning about how much he wants a boyfriend and how the single life is almost as much fun as having your feet scraped. Besides the fact that there’s just no pleasing some people, he illustrates the struggle lots of us have with relationships. They can be a tricky thing at the best of times and the gay scene doesn’t exactly bend over backward to be supportive, now does it? Well never fear, FS is here. Our A to Z of Relationships gives you 26 letters full of great advice and tips on how you can make your relationship work. If you’re single, it will give you a head start on getting it right the next time. Plus there’s a ‘just for fun’ quiz and Positive Adam talks about what it’s like to be in a relationship where you have HIV and your boyfriend doesn’t. There’s lots more including Dino (AKA Mr Gay UK)’s first ‘get fit’ column. So don’t wait, read on...

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Cary James x Editor

Find us on Myspace at www.myspace.com/fsmag or join our new fan page on Facebook by searching for FS magazine.There you will find more pics of our cover stars, forums on stuff from the mag and other cool stuff. Plus you can post photos of yourself and videos of you telling us why you love FS. Come on, join the FS nation. Do it now!

p26 www.gmfa.org.uk

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Upfront

Tales for the top Did you know that even if you are they guy doing the fucking, you can still catch HIV? Well, you can. And here are a few more facts that every fucker should know...

While it’s true that the guy doing the fucking has a lower chance of catching HIV, there is still a real risk. If you bum without condoms, HIV can enter your body through the opening of your cock and through the foreskin and head, even if the skin isn’t broken. The inside of everyone’s arse is lined with stuff called anal mucus. In a guy with HIV, the amount of HIV in anal mucus can be even higher than the amount in their blood. Experts believe this is one of the main ways that guys who are doing the poking catch HIV, even if there isn’t any blood present. There are lots of other STIs you can get through your cock besides HIV. Chlamydia and gonorrhoea are the most common, but you can also catch herpes, warts, NSU, syphilis, and Hepatitis B and C. If you want to give someone a poke, the safest way to do it is with a condom. Watch out for the Big Up group at GMFA’s new ad campaign featuring the sexy guy pictured here. It’s coming soon. For more information about shagging, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/sex.

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Upfront

Try this...

Leeds Gay Community Group

Doggy style Durex have come out with one of the most hilarious things we’ve seen on YouTube for ages. In the clip, two balloon animals made out of what is meant to be blown up condoms start shagging, and then a third one joins in and it turns into a poly-sexual shag fest, complete with spit-roasting. We’ll say it again... hilarious. Of course, it’s not recommended that you make balloon animals out of condoms if you are going to use them for sex later, and here are a few other things you shouldn’t do to condoms.

Sick of just hanging out in bars and clubs? Do you want to meet new people and try new things? Well, you are not alone. The Leeds Gay Community Group is a long established social group for gay and bi-sexual men, as well as guys who have sex with other guys who just want to hang out and socialise away from the commercial gay scene. The group organises a variety of activities and social events to keep you entertained and wanting to come back for more. For more information give them a call on 0113 244 4209.

Don’t use them with spit or any kind of oil for lube – they are much more likely to break because spit dries up too quickly and oil actually dissolves condoms - seriously. A univ Don’t leave them out in the sun – they dry out, obviously. ersit course y in Taiwan Don’t keep the same one in your wallet for ages – condoms has op to teac apprec ened a h stu ia have sell-by dates. Check it before you whack it on or pass th te and analy dents how to e s e porn course minute mov , stu it could break. audien presentation dents must ies. To ce's ps give a in whic Don’t wear them out – condoms aren’t made of steel 15 ych h from a n acad ological reac they analyse (because that would be really uncomfotable) so if you emic p tion to a studen erspec a porn n t, wh tiv comm are having a marathon session, change it every half an ented: o did not wis e. One wor clip ried "If I ge course t a ve h to be nam hour or it could wear out and break. ,Id ed, parent on't know h ry good sco re in th s. H ow Don’t stretch them – roll the condom down your cock instead is speak owever if I fa I'll explain it t to o il t m of trying to put it on like a jumper. maybe y parents a he course, I my can nd sug I sho Don’t use more than one condom at once – it’s not twice as safe. Sign u uld watch m gest that s o r u e p, we c porn." In fact, it make it more likely that they will break or fall off. ou

News

To see the clip, go to YouTube and search for “Durex Get It On.” For more info on condoms, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/sex.

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www.gmfa.org.uk

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Page six

Six things to do to be fitter Drink lo ts o f water Dehyd r mak ation not

Get a workout buddy

Everyone has problems staying motivated when it comes to bein g healthy. When you work out with a buddy, you have someone to cheer you on when you feel like sitting one out. Plus, it makes it a lot more fun as well. Try fitness classes or join a sports club, they are great ways to ma ke exercising more exciting and you might eve n make some new mates.

6

onl es has a you thirsty, y huge it how y effect on genera ou feel energy lly, your l how y evels and our works . Make brain sure y drink a t l east fi ou glasse ve s are wo a day. If yo u sweat rking out an ing a l ot, dri d even m nk o definit re. You will ely fee benefi l the t.


FS110_P06-07_page 6

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Upfront

Get off the bus

HAVE MORE SEX

to Sex burns 50 n a s e 100 calori ca hour so n at provide a gre n workout. It ca also improve gth, muscle stren and ty ili flexib hat w stamina, so g it a are you w in t e G for? g in shagg .

Walking for ju st 20 minutes a day will increase your fitness a nd c up calories th at would norm an burn ally stay stuck to your mid-section. Get off the bus one stop early, or the tr ain one station before yours, or just walk to work. Betcha after a month you’ll notice a diffe rence.

Take your lunch to work

r bringing you Not only will ey, n o m e u som lunch save yo void eating ua it will help yo ds for lunch. o unhealthy fo time to make Take the extra or the morning your lunch in eat d r dinner an make extra fo next day. the the leftovers nd your a t lle Your wa thank you. waistline will

uestget shorter itesso ch et Shintg r r fitn . Your muscl will improve your health and you rt warm up,

Stretc er a sho er stretch you can get injured. Aft h thoroughly after through exercise, and if you nev before your main workout. Stretc are a workout ly spend several minutes stretching are forms of stretching that actual pounds. Even off exercise as well. Yoga and Pilates n bur and ity ibil your strength, flex the house will in themselves. They can improve ve lea you ore morning bef the in ing tch stre , out g rkin wo if you aren’t for the day ahead. make you feel more engergised www.gmfa.org.uk

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Life

My name is Adam I’m 23, gay, and HIV-positive. This is my blog... Walking home from a dinner party the other night, I got talking to my boyfriend about the people that made the party, and how each one had their own ‘thing’. There’s the gossip girl out to stir and cause drama. The fabulous pre-op transvestite brimming with stories of the world, then there’s the overprotective boyfriend who needs to chill out. Not forgetting the relationship between the hot young twenty-something and the well balanced gentleman. We’ve all got things going on in our lives that affect how we behave around others – maybe our friends talk about how my boyfriend and I manage our ‘sero-discordant’ relationship. I’m pretty sure they don’t use that word. I only realised what it meant when I was asked by a student Doctor at a recent check-up: “Do you take extra precautions when you’re with your boyfriend? How does it feel to be in a sero-discordant relationship?” My answers were “No, not really, should I walk around wearing a giant condom when we’re in close contact?” and “What’s one of those?” He explained it was a relationship when one person has HIV and the other one doesn’t. Sex isn’t really the problem. We practise safer sex, so the risk associated with a good session in bed is very low, just as low as two strangers having a hook-up after a night out using condoms, except we both know I’m HIV-positive and we’re extra careful, but not to the point where sex is sterile and boring. What we do talk about is what appointments I’ve got coming up and how my body is coping. It’s a great feeling to walk out of my clinic and call my boyfriend and share how I’m doing and give him an update. He also comes to some appointments

somebody HIV-positive and I got down to the real reason why. They didn’t want to use condoms. I guess you can’t change a habit of a lifetime, but there’s also the worry that they might infect their partner. I do worry that I might infect my partner, but it’s a risk we’re all taking when we’re having sex. Mt boyfriend is aware of the risks. And if a condom ever breaks and he is exposed to HIV, we know we can access PEP to reduce the risk of him catching it. I watch out for him if we have other guys around as well. Often, it’s not enough to have a pile of condoms next to the bed and we’ve had to ask the guy to use them. It’s only happened once or twice, and they’re usually embarrassed by their silly stupid behaviour. Just as silly was an email I got from a 19-year-old asking why I was putting my boyfriend at risk and that I should keep AIDS to myself. Firstly I don’t have AIDS and secondly it’s a decision for me and my boyfriend. We’ve now started emailing each other regularly and he’s asking all the right questions about HIV and hopefully the first email was out of fear. Now he seems more relaxed and has the right information to protect himself and others. Maybe our friends worry about me infecting my boyfriend, but I think they’re grown up enough to know that: HIV and AIDS aren’t going anywhere, you can’t choose who you fall in love with, and that I’ll watch out for my beau. I wonder what they think my ‘thing’ is ? It isn’t HIV.

I do worry that I might infect my partner, but it’s a risk we’re all taking when we’re having sex.

with me and has asked my doctor the same questions that I asked. How long will I live (who knows?), when will I have to start taking medication (who knows?), and what are the side effects of treatment (there are lots). The doctor was more indepth and very positive but there are realities to think about too. It’s likely that my boyfriend will live longer than me, although new treatment options and new drugs are still being developed, and some of the new ones are really effective. One of my best friends is an inspiration for both of us. He has lived with HIV for almost as long as I’ve been living! I’ve not looked into my boyfriend’s eyes yet and said “Will you love again?” Maybe I should for dramatic effect. Back to the big S-E-X. I’ve talked to some of my HIV-positive friends about their relationships. One would only have a relationship with

www.gmfa.org.uk

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The AtoZ of 10


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You may be single A – Arguments couples have arguments from or you may have Most time to time. “It’s completely normal have disagreements about a boyfriend. tothings, ” says Gay Times’ agony Maybe you’re in a uncle, Jack Jones. “What’s is to sit down and civil partnership important try to resolve things as soon possible. Try to get to the or you’re divorced. as root cause of the problem so you can avoid similar Maybe you’re not that disagreements in the future.” interested in – Breaking up relationships or ItBcan be hard to know when to are you desperate give things a go and when to up. But if you to find the right break need to go your ways, man? Whatever, separate C – Condoms therapist Dominic from Pink relationships are Davies Some couples make sure they always use Therapy (www.pink condoms, and others decide after a certain part of our lives. therapy.com) time to ditch them. If you’re thinking of not If you’re in a good relationship, it’s fun and a source of great pleasure and security. If you’re in a bad one, life can be miserable and sad. There are no magic rules, but our A to Z of relationships might just give you a few hints and tips to help you and your partner get on better together now, or help you to have a better relationship the next time one comes around.

believes breaking up can be least painful when both partners have a clear idea as to why they’re splitting up, and why they just don’t belong together. Try to keep the communication channels open when you’re finishing things.

using condoms with your boyfrend, it’s important to make sure you don’t put each other at risk of HIV or other STIs. Get tested for HIV together and then again three months later to make sure neither of you have the virus. Don’t have unsafe sex outside the relationship and in case you do slip up, you need to have an agreement so that it’s OK to tell the other person. Then go back to using condoms until the one who slipped up goes to the sexual health clinic and gets the all clear.

f relationships abusive relationship contact Broken Rainbow for help on 08452 60 44 60 or go to www.broken-rainbow.org.

E – Exes Most guys have a few exes in their past. Sometimes they can become friends and other times they’re nightmares we never want to see again. “Unless they’ve been complete wankers, it’s good to try and keep things civil with your exes,” says relationship expert



D - Domestic abuse

All relationships have their ups and downs but there are certain types of behaviour which are unacceptable and abusive. Domestic violence is not just physical abuse – it can also be psychological or emotional bullying. “Sometimes in gay relationships the violence is mutual and so both partners need to work out how they express their anger,” says therapist Dominic Davies. ”If you're worried you may be in an

www.gmfa.org.uk

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Voxpop

and QX magazine’s agony uncle, Peter Stevens. The gay scene’s not that big, and you don’t want to be continually avoiding It’s as important now as ever for your exes. partners to know the facts about

H – HIV

F – Finances

HIV. Many gay boys catch HIV in the first year of a new relationship. Knowing each other’s status enables you to make the best choice for you, your health and your relationship. You can both get tested at any GUM clinic. For a clinic near you or for help and advice on HIV check out the listing, at the back of this mag, visit www.gmfa.org.uk, or call THT Direct on 0845 12 21 200.

It’s best to be clear about who pays for what in a relationship. Have an understanding of who pays for what or how much each contributes to things. This may be determined by how much each of you earn. If your boyfriend earns more than you and spends more on you both and you feel funny about it, then perhaps you can have an agreement that you do the cooking or more of the housework. “This is a good way to try to balance out the impact of one guy spending more than the other,” says New Yorkbased life coach, Lou Smith.

G – Give and Take

Guy, 24

Works in media recruitment, from Hertfordshire

I – “I love you” Some guys say I love you after the first date, while others take months to say it. While there isn’t a set time for when to say those magical three words, experts advise that it’s best to take your time. “If you’ve fallen head over heels for a guy you’ve just met, then it’s best to be patient. Take your time getting to know him,” says Ramon Johnson, gay lifestyle journalist at About.com. Can you really know you love someone if you don’t really know them? Probably not. Try to save the ‘L’ word until you know you really mean it. Then it will mean a lot more as well.

This is vital to the success of a relationship. Being in a en relationship gay m HIV f o means it’s catch ught o h w a not all about they c a y a s ‘you’ t fromnd. i anymore, it’s e boyfri J – Jealousy about ‘us’. That Occasional jealousy is natural, means compromise but when it becomes intense and and negotiation. So take irrational, it can be very destructive. your man to the Britney Make sure you both keep the greeneyed monster in check. Be honest concert even though and open with each other about your feelings, and if something is you hate her – your bothering you, talk it out. Jealousy good deed will be can grow and grow if you don’t nip it in the bud. rewarded another time.



26%

12

When you start a new relationship, when do you talk about HIV? Even before I’ve slept with someone, I would always talk about HIV. I’ve been HIV-positive for three years and I have never slept with a guy without telling him first. I want to give them the information so that they can make an informed decision about whether they want to sleep with me. I also tell people because if someone has a problem with it, I wouldn’t want to make them feel bad or give them the pleasure of getting a shag from me! Have you had a relationship with a HIV-negative guy? All the relationships I’ve had have been with HIV-negative men. It does take a certain type of guy to be OK with it though. I met my last boyfriend three days after I found out I was positive and we were together for two years. He was really special. What do you think is the most important thing in relationships? Definitely honesty and trust, especially if you’re living in a big city because there are opportunities and temptations thrust in your face all the time. Some guys go into a relationship and give their trust too easily. Other guys are really scared of trusting their boyfriend, because they’ve been screwed around in the past. Trust doesn’t happen overnight – you need to build it up.


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Matthew, 24 Bar manager from London How do you know when it’s the right time to say ‘I love you’? I’ve always found that you say it when you’re drunk and then you think about it the next day and ask yourself ‘did I mean that?’ Then you think, ‘well yeah, I probably do’. How romantic.

53% men

of gay y have e say th gular a re er. partn

How do you know when you love someone? When you dump them and then you regret it. I’m speaking from bitter experience here. I get bored of guys quite easily and then I dump them. Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?Yes, sometimes you say things for a reaction. It’s a bit manipulative and I know it doesn’t make me a nice person! What do you think of open relationships? For some people they can work, but I’ve never had one – I just cheated. I’ve seen open relationships work, but they’re not for me because underneath my being an arsehole, I still cling to the hope that I won’t die alone, ravaged by cats in a gutter.

www.gmfa.org.uk

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Steve, 25

Tour guide from Bristol

K – Kylie Or it could be Madonna, or going to the gym together or even the opera, it doesn’t really matter. What’s important is that you both have some common interests to enjoy as a couple. If you don’t have any now, then have fun finding new ones. Having similar goals such as working out together or saving for the trip of a lifetime will bond you. “Shared goals can help cement a relationship,” says therapist Dominic Davies.

L – Living together Couples often wonder when it’s a good time to move in together. “There’s no specific time period after which a couple should agree to cohabit,” says agony uncle Jack Jones. “It all depends on the couple and how each guy feels about each other.” So don’t rush into shacking up together until you’re both sure it’s right for both of you.

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M – Monogamy This is when a couple decides to remain sexually exclusive with one another and have no outside sex partners. Monogamy works when it’s what both partners really want, so it’s best to discuss the type of relationship you’re looking for when you first start going out, so there are no big shocks a few months down the line.

N - Nagging “Nagging can be the slow destroyer of relationships,” says relationship expert Peter Stevens. “So if you’re the one doing the nagging, be aware of the situations when you’re like this and try to manage them, by holding your tongue and bringing up the issue at a different time when it won’t be taken so badly.” Have times when you share your annoyances with each other rather than allowing constant nagging.

Have you ever had a relationship where jealousy was a big issue? Yes. I had a relationship with a guy a while ago where jealousy was a big issue and we split up over it. It turned out he was extremely jealous of a girl who I was friends with. I was bi-sexual then so he thought something was going on with me and the girl but genuinely, there wasn’t. I’ve learnt from the experience to be more open with the guy I’m with – I talk more about my life and what’s going on with my friends. What do you think of civil partnerships? It’s OK for the right person, but I don’t think it’s for me. I’m not really someone who believes in marriage anyway. I think you can tie yourself to someone emotionally without needing the contract of a civil partnership. At this moment in time, I don’t think I would have one but if you asked me again in five years, you never know. What do you think is the most important thing in relationships? Good sex. In other words, passionate sex, especially when it’s slow and sensual. Really getting to know each other in the bedroom and exploring what turns each other on - discovering feeling good together.


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Cover story Q – Quickies Keep the spark alive. If one night you’re home before your man, why not change into something sexy, and ravage him as he walks through the door? Or have some sneaky sex in the spur of the moment when you’re out somewhere, perhaps where you’re not supposed to – but make sure you don’t get caught. And if you do, you didn’t get this advice from us…

P - Civil Partnerships In December 2005, the Civil Partnership Act came into force, allowing same sex couples to register as civil partners of each other. This was not only a huge victory for the gay rights movement, but it means we can now have glamorous wedding days, just like our straight friends. But be aware there’s lots of legal stuff to be aware of as well. To find out more about civil partnerships check out www.civilpartnership.org.uk.

s There’ like g nothint of a bi add o t e c roman kle to a spar ship... n relatio R – Romance “There’s nothing like a bit of romance to add sparkle to a relationship,” says relationship expert Peter Stevens. “Whether it’s a romantic meal cooked at home or a surprise trip to Brighton for the two of you, it’s the gesture that matters.” Whoever said romance is dead is a misery... and probably also single.

S – Sex Sex is definitely very important in relationships but agony uncle Jack Jones thinks each person and each couple is different. “I know of couples where the sex has stopped but they still love each other and want to remain together.They’ve managed to work out their own rules. On the other hand some couples need to have healthy sex lives with each other for the relationship to work, but there are no hard and fast rules.”



O – Open relationships This is pretty much the opposite of monogamy, where you allow yourselves to have other sexual partners. The key to a successful open relationship is to have rules that you both abide by – such as never sleeping with the same guy twice or never shagging someone else when you’re both out together. Make your own rules and stick to them, but if one of you slips up (and chances are one of you will), be open and prepared to renegotiate the rules, and to forgive, forget and move on.

www.gmfa.org.uk

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Shawn, 19 Trainee assistant bar manager from Essex Do you think it’s important to argue in a relationship?Yes, definitely. I think it’s more worrying if you don’t argue. No relationship is perfect. Anyway, arguing can be really horny. You have a raging argument, then you grab hold of each other and have really passionate make-up sex. What’s the best way to resolve an argument in a relationship? Firstly, have sex and secondly, talk about the argument. Basically just clear the air and get rid of the tension. What is the silliest argument you ever had with a boyfriend? I was working in a bar, and the guy I was going out with at the time was working there too. We ran out of glasses, and I just started shouting. I really laid into him and stormed out. I’d been having a bad day. I felt better afterwards though. Are you a romantic? Yes, I am. I like going out and seeing the world with the guy I’m with. I like travelling to romantic cities like Paris or NY, going to museums and art galleries, going out for dinner and having new adventures together. What is the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for you? Two weeks ago the guy I’m dating ran halfway across London in the pouring rain to see me for five minutes. Then he ran right back again, because he had to get back for a work meeting. The best romantic gestures are when someone makes an effort, so I thought it was a really lovely and sweet thing for him to do.

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Voxpop T – Talking Properly talking about how you feel is one of the key things you can do in a relationship. How else can you know what your partner’s thinking unless he tells you? “Good communication is the glue which can hold things together in a relationship,” says therapist Dominic Davies. So get chatting, now.

U – Understanding It’s important to understand each other – especially concerning your beliefs, hopes and aspirations. Try to understand your partner and make an effort so that he understands you. Agony uncle Jack Jones says, “An increased mutual understanding of each other, combined with honesty and trust, is a great framework for a solid relationship. I sometimes sound like a broken record with this, but communication is key.”

etimes “Som d like a I soun ecord but nr s broke unication i commkey to ships” n o i t a l re

Adam, 20 Student from Dubai Have you ever watched porn with a boyfriend? Yes, just the once. We’d been having sex for a long time and he was getting tired and losing his erection. I put some porn on to get him going again – it was a DVD on the computer and the sex was hardcore. We watched it together and things got going again. I might watch porn again with a boyfriend if I wanted to spice up the relationship.

V – Valentines day This isn’t the only day of the year when you should be thoughtful and caring to your partner, as it’s important he feels valued all the time. Make sure you focus on the valuable things your man brings to the relationship every day and don’t forget to tell him about them. It sounds simple, but many guys don’t let their partners know how important and valuable they are. Don’t be one of them.

W – Work Be sure to understand each other’s work commitments and how they can affect stress levels. If your man is a high powered executive and you’ve got a less challenging job, then cut him some slack when he’s home late and stressed out. Try to imagine what it’s like to be in his shoes and that will help you deal with things better.


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X – X-rated Why not watch some porn together to spice up your sex life or just to vary it? Get yourselves worked up together and then practice what you’ve seen – it can be a lot of fun.

Y – Yearly relationship health check “In the same way you’d put your car through an MOT every year, or get a sexual health check-up, you should do the same with your relationship,” explains life coach Lou Smith. “Take time to sit down with your partner at least once a year, though more regularly is better, and discuss what’s gone well in the last year and more importantly what hasn’t. Then work out a plan to improve low scoring areas, which could include your sex life, or spending quality time together. This will ensure you’re both happy and that problems aren’t getting swept under the carpet.”

Z – Zimmer frame. If all goes well in your relationship and you get through life’s challenges together, then one day, you’ll both be heading down to bingo with matching his and his Zimmer frames. Aw... bless.

Are you looking for a boyfriend? If this feature has put you in the mood to find the man of your dreams, GMFA’s Getting a Boyfriend course could help. They are running courses all around the country in April. Turn to page 24 to find out more.


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Life

Should you dump him? Are you really in control of your relationship, or is it just a break-up waiting to happen? Get some objectivity in your life with this clever little test – you might just learn something! 1.You are walking through town with your boyfriend and you suddenly see his ex.You have never liked this guy and your boyfriend knows it. Does he... A. Notice the disparaging look on your face and then suggest you cross over the road to avoid a conversation? B. Ignore your reaction completely and mince on over for a ‘catch up’? C. Blank him as you walk by, but then spend the next half hour trying to convince you to have a threesome with him? 2.You have been given a tax rebate of £100 but can’t decide what to do with it.You open it up for discussion with your boyfriend. Does he... A. Call up your favourite restaurant without hesitation, to book a romantic meal for two? B. Suggest you pay the money straight into the bank as you never know when you might really need it? C. Claim that you owe him some money and then stand there, hand on hip, waiting for you to write a cheque? 3.You have been invited to a family wedding and would love your boyfriend to come with you. Does he... A. Agree to come along but spends the whole day sulking in a corner, texting his mates? B. Relish the chance to meet all of your family and even dances with your mum? C. Reluctantly accept the offer, and gets so drunk he ends up trying to snog one of the waiters? 4.You are down the pub, but have to be at work early the next day. It’s getting late and you mention to

your boyfriend that you might have to go home soon. Does he… A. Try to convince you to stay for one more but then agrees that it’s probably a good idea for you both to go home? B. Grudgingly finish his drink and then explain to everyone within a five metre radius that he has to go home because ‘the other half said so’? C. Happily say ‘OK, see you later’, then turn round to chat to the ex-rent boy at the bar? 5. After a particularly long and pumping sex session, you both collapse onto the sofa with big smiles on your faces. You mention to him how amazing it was. Does he… A. Give you a kiss and explains ‘it’s only cause I’m with you’? B. Shrug his shoulders and say ‘that’s what everyone says’? C. Hold his hand out for a high-five then start on you all over again? What’s his score? Question 1 Question 2 Question 3 Question 4 Question 5 Answer A 3pts 2pts 2pts 3pts 3pts Answer B 1pt 2pts 3pts 2pts 1pt Answer C 1pt 1pt 1pt 1pt 2pts

5 to 7 Ditch the bitch! To be honest, it’s a surprise you haven’t broken up with this low-life already. Fair enough, he might be hung like a donkey, but there’s only so much that can compensate for. 8 to 11 There’s room for manoeuvre. There is definitely some work to do, but it’s not worth chucking him out just yet. Try to decide what you want from a relationship and communicate this to him - if he doesn’t match up, you’ll know what to do.

12 to 14 It’s Love! You have done yourself proud, and everyone around you is actually a little bit jealous. Take things easy and don’t let it stagnate there might just be wedding bells in the distance... www.gmfa.org.uk

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Health

Get fit with Dino

If you feel like you’ve piled on the pounds lately then fret not – in every issue of FS I’m going to be giving you a few tips on how to improve your health and get you the body you want for 2009. This month I’m going to talk about a bit of cardio. What is it? Cardio (cardiovascular) exercise is basically everything that gets your heart working like running, cycling, swimming, rowing, skipping rope, climbing stairs, quick walking, aerobics classes, and using the cross-trainer. Try lots of different kinds so you don’t get bored.

Why it’s good for you Cardio is great for burning off fat and toning up your muscles, but most of all it’s important for keeping your heart healthy and avoiding things like heart attacks. One of the best exercises for toning up as well as fat burning is swimming, because you are using lots of your body’s muscles at the same time.

Why I like it To be honest it isn’t my favourite but I love the feeling I get afterwards. It’s a real buzz. Even if I don’t feel like doing it beforehand, once I’ve made myself go I love it.

Why you should try it Obviously it’s good for you. It keeps your heart healthy and keeps you from putting on unhealthy weight. You’ll love the endorphin rush you get from it. It makes you feel wicked.

How to get involved The great thing about cardio is that you can do it just about anywhere and it doesn’t need to cost you a thing. Go for a run with your iPod, or a bike ride with your mate, or head to your local pool for a swim. If you’re a member of a gym ask if they have any spinning classes or stuff like that and go along. A word of warning: it’s well hard, but it’s also a lot of fun and worth the effort. If you don’t feel you are ready for a class, then try the treadmill, cross trainer, stationary bikes, stairmasters or rowing machines. Ask a member of gym staff to show you how to work the machine safely if you haven’t used it before.

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Cardio facts What counts as cardio? Anything that gets your heart pumping fasting than it does when you are sitting on the sofa watching Britain’s Next Top Model, and keeps it there for more than ten minutes.

How much do I need to do? For an absolute beginner, a brisk walk for 20 minutes three or four times a week is a great way to start. Then increase that to something a bit more energetic. 30 to 40 minutes, three to four times a week is the best routine for health and fitness.

How hard do I have to work? In order for your activity to really be considered a workout, your hear rate should be between 60 to 85 percent of your maximum heart rate.This is considered the cardio zone.Your maximum heart rate is just how it sounds, the fastest that your heart can beat. If you are not sure what your maximum heart rate is remember, you should be able to talk, but not be able to hold a conversation.Those guys gossiping nonstop on the treadmill probably aren’t in the cardio zone. There is also a new kind of training that focuses on doing short intense amounts of exercise, followed by an easy pace. This is called interval training and it’s meant to really shift the fat. Grab a copy of Men’s Health or Google it to find out more.

Dino’s top tips I’m crap at motivating myself if I’m being honest so what I do is go along to group sessions, like spinning classes for example. When everyone is going for it you will naturally push yourself a lot more. Listen to music. This helps me to stay motivated and happy when I’m doing cardio, plus it distracts you in case you are feeling tired. If you’re inexperienced start off light and work your way up. Start with just five or ten minutes on one of the machines, or running/cycling outside, or even walking. Do that three times in the first week and then increase it by five minutes every week until you reach 20 minutes. If you want to, you can then increase your time gradually.


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Health

STI Corner The place to come for STIs (not literally of course)

This month: Genital warts What are they? Warts are abnormal skin growths caused by the human papilloma virus (HPV). Genital warts can be found on the inside or outside of the cock and arse. Usually white or pink, they come in a variety of shapes and sizes. They can be smooth and flat, rough and bumpy, small and isolated, and cauliflower-like clusters. They can be itchy or painful. If this happens, it can cause severe discomfort or bleeding when you have sex or use the toilet. It usually takes about three months from the time of infection for genital warts to become visible.

How do you get them? You can get them by skin to skin contact during sex.

How do you treat them? It can take a long time and treatments may have to be repeated several times. Treatments include applying creams, freezing them with liquid nitrogen, burning them with acid or lasers, or removal by surgery. Untreated warts can spread extensively around your cock and arse (both inside and outside). Warts don't cause any serious health problems, but they can cause irritation and make you more vulnerable to other infections like HIV.

How do you prevent them? HPV spreads easily, so skin contact with warts should be avoided. However, the warts may go unnoticed and avoiding HPV can be difficult, especially since condoms do not always cover the area where warts may be present. This is perhaps why warts are the most common viral STI diagnosed in the UK. For more informaiton visit: www.gmfa.org.uk/sex.

Fast Fact You are 10 times more likely to quit smoking if you join a support group There are loads of support groups that can help you stop smoking for good. And there are even groups especially for gay men. To find out more visit www.gmfa.org.uk/stopsmoking.

www.gmfa.org.uk

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Health

Hey Doc, I’ve got a problem! The doctors at www.gayhealth.com answer the questions you may be too shy to ask in the flesh... point that even if your partner tells you he is HIV-negative, he could be wrong and you should use condoms if you want to be safe. If you know you have been exposed to HIV, you can access PEP, which is a treatment that can reduce the risk of you being infected. You have to get PEP within 72 hours of being exposed and it has a very good success rate. For more information visit www.gmfa.org.uk/pep.

Why is my spunk yellow?

Can I drink my own spunk? I am an HIV-positive guy and want to know if there is any additional risk from swallowing my own cum. None at all, so drink up if you like.

Have I caught HIV? I've been having sex with a guy who told me that he was HIVnegative. Well, it turns out that he’s HIV-positive. I'm suffering from horrible headaches, lightheadedness, and my face feels very hot. I had an HIV test a couple of weeks ago that was negative, but I could've contracted the virus just days before. I'm scared and don't know what to do. Do you think my symptoms may be HIV? It is true that approximately one to four weeks after catching HIV, most people do suffer from what is called ‘seroconversion sickness’ which has flu-like symptoms. I do not know what’s causing your symptoms but you could ask your GUM clinic to check your blood for HIV viral load. This can tell you if you are infected before a traditional test. Apart from HIV, get checked for all sexually transmitted infections in your throat, arse and penis. Your letter illustrates the important

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My spunk is always yellow. It gets on my nerves to think I'm different from other guys. Semen is often a pale yellow colour and there is nothing wrong with what you are describing. Semen also varies in consistency and quantity between individuals as well as from day to day in the same individual.

What’s this sticky stuff? I often have fun with a dildo. I've noticed occasionally when I remove the dildo that there's milky stuff on it. What is it? It’s probably anal mucus, which is always present in your arse. Excessive production of it can be a

sign of irritation of the lining of your arse. The most common irritating agent can be an enema. If you use non-typical lubricants these can also be irritating. As long as there is no blood or pain I would not worry. Be aware however that if the inside of your arse is irritated, you would have a higher risk of catching HIV if you were fucked by an HIV-positive guy without a condom, or if the condom breaks and you get cum in your arse. Also be aware that if you are HIVpositive, anal mucus can have higher levels of HIV in it than blood, so you could be more infectious if you’re fucked by an HIV-negative guy.

To ask your own question or to read more questions and answers, go to www.gayhealth.com and click on Ask the Doctors. This page comes to you courtesy of www.gayhealth.com.

How risky are… Sex toys Dildos and butt plugs can be involved in the transmission of sexually transmitted infections including HIV, hepatitis A, B and C and gut infections. Anal mucus or blood from one person on sex toys could lead to infection if the same toy is then used on someone else. The easiest way to avoid the risk is not to share your sex toys. But if you want to share the fun, then use a condom to cover the toy, and change it after each person. Washing your sex toys thoroughly after use with warm soapy water should get rid of any infection remaining on the toy. Using toys may cause damage to the lining of the arse. If you fuck without a condom afterwards, this damage means there is a greater chance of catching HIV if the guy doing the fucking has HIV and the other does not. If your sex toy doesn’t have a base, be careful it doesn’t get lost up there. You may have to make an embarrassing visit to the local A&E department if it does.

For more information on sex and how to make it safer visit www.gmfa.org.uk/sex.


GMFA_Course_FS ad:Layout 1

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BOYFRIEND Are you looking for a boyfriend? Fed up with relationships that only last a couple of months? Getting a Boyfriend is a one day course designed to help you approach relationships with a better understanding of yourself and what you want from your love-life.

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GMFA courses delivered nationally in partnership with

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Health

Do you want a boyfriend? Whether we like to admit it or not, lots of singletons would love to be shacked up with the man of our dreams – who wouldn’t? Some guys just seem to stroll into successful relationships, while others feel like they are just kissing frogs without a prince in sight. GMFA’s Getting a Boyfriend course may be able to help you find Mr Right, and course creator Barrie Dwyer tells us how...

The is no pre moan oint i you dong if all i in frons flop t the TV of

Is it really possible to ‘look’ for a boyfriend, or is it something that just happens to you when you are ready? Yes, it’s possible to ‘look’ for a boyfriend, but you have to be ready for it to happen as well. There is no point moaning that you haven’t got a boyfriend or never meet men you

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How does the course work? The course encourages guys to consider why they want a boyfriend, and what they want in a boyfriend relationship. What kinds of topics does it cover? It covers a wide range of issues including the past relationships you have had and finding out what can be learned from them, and whether or not you are actually ‘ready’ for a boyfriend. It also looks at what you want in a boyfriend, sexual agreements between the two of you and that sort of thing.

What do you think the biggest obstacle gay men have to finding a boyfriend? There are three major things that often get in the way of men finding a partner: themselves, their fears, and the expectation many of us have that we can find someone better. What are some of the most common mistakes men make when looking for a boyfriend? That they don’t think about who they are as people, what kind of relationship they want, and what they want in a boyfriend. If you ask someone what they want from a car or mobile phone they can usually give you a long list of things that they require. If you ask someone what they want from a boyfriend they will usually say “I don’t know really, someone nice with a good sense of humour.” If you don’t really know what you are looking for, it is much harder to find it.

like if all you do is go to work then go home and flop in front of the TV. So it’s about being ‘ready’ for it to happen in all areas of your life.

What kinds of things are guys on the course asked to do? Most of the exercises focus on the three main elements of a relationship, you, your boyfriend and what you want from the relationship. We do that by asking guys to discuss the things they want and create lists, so you can be sure that what you want isn’t unobtainable and that you are giving yourself achievable goals. It’s a reality check with huge amounts of encouragement thrown in. Who would you recommend go on the course? I would recommend the course to any guys who are interested in finding out more about themselves and what they want in and from relationships.

GMFA’s getting a Boyfriend is on a national tour beginning in April. For more information see the ad on page 23 or visit www.gmfa.org.uk/national.

Four things... you’ll get from the course A better understanding of yourself A clearer idea of the type of men they want to have a relationship with An understanding of the type of relationship you really want The knowledge that being in a relationship doesn’t make you immune from HIV


ADS

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Advice

Sort it out! FS readers and a trained counsellor give their advice on how to tackle one of life’s problems. This month’s problem I have been with my boyfriend for nine months, and I think he may have AIDS. I don’t really know exactly why I feel this way, but I do. Whenever HIV or AIDS is mentioned he goes quiet. I know he slept around a lot before we got together. He has told me in the past that he doesn’t have it, but the other night I really pushed him into telling me the truth and we just ended up arguing. We only ever have safe sex, so I guess it doesn’t really matter that much, but I feel he is being dishonest with me. Should I just shut up about it? John via email

DearJohn, First of all, it’s unlikely that he has AIDS, as this is a late stage of HIV infection which is now fairly rare in people who are diagnosed and have access to treatment. It is possible that he has HIV, the virus that can lead to AIDS, as many people with HIV find it hard to tell other people that they are infected. This is partly because there is a stigma attached to being HIVpositive. Confusing HIV with AIDS, or characterising HIV as something that only happens to people who sleep around a lot are kinds of stigma. So it’s possible that he listens to the way that you talk about HIV and thinks that you’re not likely to be supportive if he told you that he was positive. Would you still want to be with him or would that be a deal breaker for you? Find out more about HIV and when you talk about it, do so with compassion. Bear in mind though that it’s possible he isn’t positive and

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that you’re just creating trouble in your relationship by not accepting his word. Edgar via email

Dear John, Let’s assume that your boyfriend is HIV-positive. Evidently he finds this hard to tell you. Now think how much harder you have made it for him to tell you. You show a lack of understanding by saying you think he may have AIDS, when you really mean you think he may be HIVpositive, and your boyfriend has probably picked up on this. Plus, pushing someone into telling you a difficult truth will get you nowhere. You need to make him feel you won’t react angrily or completely reject him. Does it matter if he is HIV positive? Yes, you have every right to know. At the very least, if a condom breaks during sex, knowing he is positive and knowing you are negative gives you good reason to go and get PEP. Can you get him to

tell you by force? No, you need to show him love and support. Sean in Sheffield

Dear John, It may be that your boyfriend is not 100 percent sure about his HIV status because he hasn’t tested. Maybe he has been afraid to have a test in the past and is embarrassed or is still frightened of having one now. If he does have HIV and you are having safer sex then your risk of getting HIV is very small unless the condom breaks or comes off. However, some people decide to stop using condoms when having sex together if they have been in a relationship for some time. Instead of asking him if he is positive, you may want to ask if he has had an HIV test recently. And if he says no, you could suggest going for a test together. Testing for HIV helps you to protect each other so you could tell him that you want to make sure you are protecting him too. To get a proper result, you both need to have avoided any risks for a while and then get an HIV test together. If you want to stop using condoms, getting tested together will provide you with some answers and will help you to do it safely. If you want to carry on using condoms but you are still concerned about his HIV status, you have to weigh up a few factors. Do you trust your boyfriend to tell you the truth? If you are in a trusting relationship and you are pushing this question, he could be hurt that you don’t believe him and the relationship could end. If you are not sure if you trust him, you


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need to talk to him and explain why you want to know. Rick via email

A counsellor’s opinion Counsellor Jamie Willis from the Metro Centre says:

Dear John, The fact that your boyfriend goes quiet when HIV/AIDS is mentioned is not conclusive evidence that he has the virus. Gay men have been affected by the virus in many different ways and some people, for whatever reason, find the subject difficult to discuss. You say that he has already told you that he doesn’t have the virus but you also say that you “really pushed him into telling you the truth”. So, in the past, he gave you an answer which you still do not believe. I wonder what the real issue is here. If it is about contracting the HIV virus, you have already said that you are practising safe sex so, if he is positive, you are reducing the risk of HIV transmission. Something is triggering a level of insecurity on your part and I wonder if it is related

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to your boyfriend’s past sexual history. A little insecurity is natural whenever we meet somebody we truly fall for and if this is talked about with them it can serve to bring us closer to our significant other. Perhaps you could try discussing your feelings with your partner in an open non-threatening way? Avoid potential flashpoints such as suggesting he is lying. Try telling him about your uncertainties and fears,

not your uncertainties about him. Perhaps you could both go for an HIV test together but go because you want the relationship to grow, not because you want to prove he was not able to tell you the truth.

If you think that you may want to see a counsellor, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/counselling or go to page 28 for information on where you can get free counselling.

Next month’s problem... I’m 26-years-old and I can’t manage to keep an erection. Even when I’m wanking by myself it can sort of come and go. If I’m with someone else... well, sometimes it’s OK and sometimes it’s a problem. And if I do manage to get one, when I stop and reach for a condom, it’s gone. I’ve had unsafe sex more than once to avoid that situation. Often I just end up being a bottom or avoiding sex because I don’t want to be embarrassed again. I’ve seen a GP and he told me there was nothing physically wrong with me and I should just relax - yeah right. I’ve tried some of the drugs you get online, but they don’t always work either. Help!

If you have some advice to give, or you have a problem that needs sorting, email it to: fsmag@gmfa.org.uk or search for ‘FS magazine’ on Facebook, become a fan, and post on the Sort It Out forums.

www.gmfa.org.uk

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Listings Groups and support in Yorkshire and the North East... Advice and support Bradford Yorkshire MESMAC: offers support, information and advice on sexual health and sexual orientation issues for gay men, bisexual men and men who have sex with men. Phone: 01274 395815 or email: bradford@mesmac.co.uk.

County Durham The Gay and Bisexual Men’s Service: offers support, information, and advice to gay and bisexual men. Phone: 0191 3744131 in Derwentside, Chester-le-Street, and Durham City. Phone Tim Holmes 01325 746141 or 07971 429235 in Darlington and the Dales.

Clinics Leeds Fast testing for gay men: free, flexible and confidential HIV-testing, drop-in only (results back in 15 minutes). Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea urine screening and Hepatitis B vaccinations. Every Thursday 68pm and by appointment. For more information including location ring: 0113 244 4209.

Middlesbrough One-hour testing for gay men:Tuesdays 12-6pm and by appointment. For more info phone: 01642 804400.

Newcastle One-hour testing for gay men:Tuesdays 5-7pm. Phone MESMAC North East on 0191 233 1333.

Teesside One-hour testing for gay men: for more info phone TPA 01642 254598.

Courses GMFA, along with MESMAC North East and Yorkshire MESMAC, run courses in Yorkshire and the North East including the Arse Class, Confident Cruising, and Getting a Boyfriend. For more information visit: www.gmfa.org.uk/national or phone 020 7738 3712.

Counselling Hartlepool Hart Gables: 01429 236790.

Teesside

Leeds

MESMAC North East: 01642 804400.

Leeds LGB Switchboard: 0113 245 3588.

Yorkshire

Newcastle

Yorkshire MESMAC: offers one-to-one support in Leeds, Bradford, Wakefield and North Yorkshire.Phone: 07771 931 327 or email: counselling@mesmac.co.uk.

MESMAC North East: 0191 233 1333. Monday to Friday 15pm.

Drop-in centres Darlington The Gay Centre, 9 Duke Street, Darlington. Open House Tuesdays 2-5pm; Wednesdays and Thursdays 2-4pm. Men's social drop-in group on Fridays 7-9.30pm. For info ring: 01325 355 551.

Hartlepool Hart Gables: Monday to Friday 10am-3pm and Mondays 7-9pm at 31 South Road, Hartlepool.

Newcastle MESMAC North East: Monday to Thursday 1-5pm at 11 Nelson Street, Newcastle.

Peterlee Peterlee Open House: Mondays 1-3pm and Wednesdays 2-4pm in Room 7, 4th Floor Lee House, Upper Yoden Way, Peterlee. For info ring: 0191 586 9988.

Sheffield SHOUT!: an information and support service for gay and bisexual men. It provides a space to discuss sexual health, relationships, coming out and self-esteem. Also offers a wide variety of activities, monthly film nights and one to one support on request. Free access to condoms and lube is available to all visitors. Every Thursday evening 6.309.30pm. For more info phone: 0114 253 6767, email: support@shoutinsheffield.co.uk or visit: www.shoutinsheffield.co.uk.

Helplines THT Direct: 0845 12 21 200.

Darlington and Durham G.A.D.D (Gay Advice Darlington and Durham): 01325 35 55 51. Monday to Friday 11am-4pm and also Monday and Friday 7-9pm.

Newcastle

Hartlepool

MESMAC North East: 0191 233 1333.

Hart Gables: 01429 236790. Monday to Friday 10am-3pm.

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HIV-positive Bradford Our Project at Yorkshire MESMAC: community service working with people living with HIV including counselling, complementary therapies, advice and support. For more info phone: 01274 740548 or email: our@mesmac.co.uk.

Darlington GADD: closed drop-in and other services. For more info phone 01325 25 25 22.

Newcastle HIV+ Men’s Group: discreet service for HIV-positive gay and bisexual men offering support and social activities. Meets fortnightly in central Newcastle. For more info phone: 0191 233 1333 or email: all@mesmacnortheast.com.

Support and social groups Bradford Older and Bolder: social group for gay and bisexual men over 60 (partners and carers of any age welcome). Runs once a fortnight on Monday afternoons at the Equity Centre in Bradford.For more info ring Jonathan on: 01274 395815 or email: bradford@mesmac.co.uk.

Darlington Friday men group: group for gay and bisexual men on Friday evenings 7-9.30pm. For more info phone: 01325 35 55 51.

Gateshead Stag group: social activities away from the commercial gay scene, access to safer sex resources, plus a gay library and gay press. Meets Mondays from 7.30pm in central Gateshead. Phone Steve and Mark on 0191 490 1699.

Leeds Iranian Gay Community Group: meets every last Wednesday of the month between 4-6pm at the Yorkshire MESMAC Leeds office. For more info phone: 0113 244 4209.

Leeds Gay Community Group: long established social group for gay, bi-sexual and men who have sex with men who wish to engage in social activities away from the commercial Gay scene. For more info ring: 0113 244 4209.

Newcastle Gay Men Tyneside (GMT): offers social activities as an alternative to the commercial gay scene, and is open to gay/bisexual men who are 20 and over. Meets Wednesday evenings. For more info phone: 07857 837 319 or MESMAC North East on 0191 233 1333 or visit: www.gay-men-tyneside.org.uk.

North Yorkshire Gay Men Talking Northallerton: social group meeting on the first and third Tuesday of the month. For more info phone Gary on 01325 259084.

Sheffield Indigo: a support and social group for LGB people from a black minority background. Offering one-to-one support and information. The group meets on the first Wednesday of the month 6.30-9.30pm. For more info phone: 07974 199 230, email: indigo@chiv.nhs.uk or visit: www.myspace.com/indigosheffield.

Teessides Teessides Out: social group for gay and bisexual men aged over 20. Every Thursday 7-9pm. For more info phone Stephen on 01642 804 400 or 07776 210 882.

Youth groups Bradford BLAGY: LGBTQ youth group for people aged 14 to 25. Wednesdays 6-8pm. For more info phone: 01274 395 815, email: blagy@mesmac.co.uk or visit www.blagygroup.com.

County Durham Durham Young Gay People’s Network: Tuesday evenings 5.30-9pm. For more info phone: 0191 384 2785 (office hours only).

Darlington 16-25s group: group for LGBTQ people aged 16 to 25. Meets every Thursday from 47pm. For more info phone: 01325 35 55 51.


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Listings Help !

bisexual men aged under 25. Tuesdays 7-9pm. For more infomation phone MESMAC Teesside on 01642 804400 or 07818496297 or email: tgv_teesside@hotmail.co.uk.

Wakefield Fruitbowl: LGBTQ youth group in Wakefield. For more information hone: 01924 211116 or email: fruitbowl@mesmac.co.uk.

Hartlepool R2B (Right to Be): Hart Gables' group for young LGBT people up to 25. Meets every Tuesday from 5pm until 7pm. For more info phone: 01429 236 790 or email John on john.atkinson@hartgables.org.uk.

Newcastle GAP (Young gay and bisexual men's group): a fun, friendly and safe place to make friends, socialise and be yourself. Open to all young men aged 16 to 25-year-olds who are (or think they may be) gay or bisexual. For more information phone: 0191 233 1333 and ask for Ian.

Northumberland Ashington LGBT Youth: A group for gay/lesbian and bisexual youth. For more info phone Janet on: 0191 233 1333.

Peterlee 16-25s group: a group for LGBT young people aged 16 to 25 on Wednesday from 5-7pm in Peterlee. For info ring: 0191 586 9988.

Scarborough Young Men’s Group: meets every Wednesdays 7-9pm. For more info phone MESMAC North East on 01904 620400.

Sheffield LGB Youth Initiative and Cafe Unique: offers one-toone support, advice, information and free condoms and lube and a safe, confidential phone and text service for anyone aged 16 to 25-yearsold. Cafe Unique is open every Saturday 2-4pm as a safe place to meet and socialise. For more info phone: 0114 226 1750 or email: gayandlesbianyouth@hotmail.com. The Fruitbowl: offering support and information for LGB young people of secondary school age, up to 17. Fridays 5-7pm. Phone: 0114 226 1750/ 07974 825 318, email: fb@lgbsheffield.co.uk or visit: www.lgbsheffield.co.uk.

Teesside TGV (Tees Gay Valley): group for young gay and

Contact details and other organisations Centre for HIV & Sexual Health 22 Collegiate Crescent Sheffield, S10 2BA. Phone: 0114 226 1900. Email: admin@chiv.nhs.uk. Website: www.sexualhealthsheffield.nhs.uk. Gay Advice Darlington and Durham The Gay Centre, 9 Duke Street, Darlington, DL3 7RX. Phone: 01325 35 55 51. Email: admin@gayadvicedarlington.co.uk. Website: www.gayadvicedarlington.co.uk Hart Gables 31 South Road, Hartlepool, TS26 9HD. Phone: 01429 236790. Email: hartgables@hotmail.co.uk. Website: www.hartgables.org.uk. MESMAC North East 3rd Floor, 11 Nelson Street, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, NE1 5AN. Phone: 0191 233 1333. Minicom (0191) 233 2112. Website: www.mesmacnortheast.com. Yorkshire MESMAC Leeds Office (Head Office), PO Box 417, Leeds LS1 5PN. Phone: 0113 244 4209. Email: leeds@mesmac.co.uk. Yorkshire MESMAC Bradford Office, PO Box 267, Bradford BD1 5XT. Phone: 01274 395815. Email: bradford@mesmac.co.uk. Yorkshire MESMAC North Yorkshire Office, PO Box 549, York YO30 7GX. Phone: 01904 620400. Email: northyorkshire@mesmac.co.uk. Yorkshire MESMAC Wakefield Office Phone: 01924 211116. Email: wakefield@mesmac.co.uk.

GUM clinics Bradford St Lukes Hospital Sexual Health Department Trinity Road, Bradford, BD5. Male appointments: 01274 365231. Health advisors: 01274 365035. The Information Shop for Young People

12 Broadway, Bradford, BD1 1JF. Phone: 01274 432431 or 01274 432432. Walk in clinic times: Tuesday: 2pm to 3.30pm (males only). Thursday: 2pm to 3.30pm (males only).

Halifax Halifax Sexual Health Clinic Laura Mitchell Sexual Health Centre, Great Albion Street, Halifax, HX1 1YR. Phone: 01422 305553. Same day HIV-testing on Tuesdays 9.30am-12noon.

Harrogate Harrogate District Hospital Heatherdene, Lancaster Park Road, Harrogate HG2 7SX. Phone: 01423 553428.

Huddersfield Huddersfield Sexual Health Clinic Greenhead Road, Huddersfield, HD1 4EW. Phone: 01484 344311.

Phone: 0114 276 6928.

Skipton Skipton Hospital Clinic Keighley Road, Skipton BD23 2RJ. Phone: 01756 797021. Appointment times: Tuesday: 3.30pm to 6.30pm.

Wakefield Josephine Butler Centre for Sexual Health Clayton Hospital GUM Department, Northgate, Wakefield WF1 3JS. Phone: 01924 214421

York Monkgate GUM Clinic 31 Monkgate, York YO31 7WA. Phone: 01904 725417. If your area is not listed, ring THT Direct on 0845 12 20 200 to find a GUM in your area. If you would like your group or organsation to be listed

Keighley Keighley Health Centre Clinic Oakworth Road, Keighley, BD21 1SA. Phone: 01535 295615. Appointment times: Friday: 9am to 11.30am.

Leeds The Centre for Sexual Health Sunnybank Wing, Great George Street, Leeds, LS1 3EX Phone: 0113 392 6724 or 0113 392 6725. Health Advisors: 0113 392 6057.

Newcastle WARD 34 Newcastle General Hospital, Westgate Road, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE4 6BE. Phone: 0191 219 5013 or 0191 219 5011. Website: www.gumnewcastle.nhs.uk. WARD 25 Newcastle General Hospital, Westgate Road, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE4 6BE. Phone: 0191 233 6161 ext. 23106. Walk-in: Tuesday: 2pm to 4pm.

North Tyneside One-to- One Centre Brenkly Avenue, Shiremoor NE27 0PR. Phone: 0191 297 0441.

Northallerton Friarage Hospital Outpatients Department Northallerton, North Yorkshire DL6 1JG. Phone: 01609 764209.

Scarborough Northway GU Clinic The Mulberry Unit, Northway, Scarborough. Phone: 01723 342785.

FS is edited by Cary James. The FS team for issue 110 was John Adams, Piers Allardyce, Adam Coston, Rob Dawson, Barrie Dwyer, Matthew Hodson, Frankie McPolin, Drew Payne, Positive Adam, Shemmy, Gavin Smith, and James Stafford. Cover models: Junior and Richard. FS is part of the CHAPS Partnership. Appearance in FS is not an indication of an individual’s sexual orientation or HIV status. The views of our writers are not necessarily the views of FS, of the organisations mentioned, GMFA, or of the editor. You can subscribe to FS for just £7 per year. Contact Gavin Smith on 020 7738 6872 or email fsadmin@gmfa.org.uk. You can view the current issue and past issues of FS online at: www.gmfa.org.uk/fs. Volunteers contribute to the planning, writing, editing and production of FS. To volunteer or donate, contact GMFA using the details below. Published by GMFA. Unit 43 Eurolink Centre, 49 Effra Road, London, SW2 1BZ Tel: 020 7738 6872 Email: gmfa@gmfa.org.uk Website: www.gmfa.org.uk Charity number 1076854. ISSN 1750-7162

Sheffield Royal Hallamshire Hospital GUM Dept, Glossop Road, Sheffield S10 2JF

Design and layout by www.christiantate.co.uk

www.gmfa.org.uk

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Life

Last chance In case you missed them, here are some things to remember from this issue...

N U S E H T of the things

e one damag n a c t tha s. condomem Keep th it. out of

Cauliflower – if you have something shaped like this growing on your cock or bum, you may have warts. Head to the clinic pronto!

E’S R E H T E R U S E K MA R SOME IN YOUIP RELATIONSH .

HIV

just one if you fu of the nasties y ck guys o without u can catch a condo m.

SWIMMING what you can do to have a healthy heart, toned muscles and trim waistline.

30

the number of times more likely you are to successfully quit smoking if you join a group.


FS_mag_advert

2/12/08

09:17

Page 1


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