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30 MAR-04 APR 2012

Important! The Easter edition of RTN will be available next Thursday morning.

Insult to earthquake victims

Flight chaos as strike bites

fearing the country could be brought to a standstill, airlines cancelled hundreds of flights ahead of the general strike p4

Beware of Leishmania

Leishmania, known as the Silent Disease is a potentially fatal disease affecting dogs and is worrying local vets p6

by louise clarke MORE THAN 10,000 people were left devastated by last year’s devastating earthquake in the Murcia city of Lorca; removing the foundations of daily life for all those affected. Despite almost eleven months of waiting, all those who were made homeless by the 5.1 Richter scale tremor that killed nine people, have never received the promised aid from the state and as the months have passed, their patience has begun to run out. Many of them joined the ‘Assembly of Lorca Neighbours affected by the Earthquake’ last Saturday to protest in the city of Murcia. An estimated 4,000 affected Lorca residents made their way down Gran Via in the regional capital with banners accusing the government of retaining the aid that has been designated to the earthquake victims.

Safety net strengthenseuro stability and confidence has been brought back to the single currency after the fears of its imminent collapse p30

Wardrobe malfunctions

read our new monthly fashion column to help you avoid fashion blunders p46

NetSecure SmartSwipe Gadget Inspector takes a look at the future of online shopping p57


Some of the First Team

League leaders the Castillo de Conesa Petanca Club are having a new club shed built and the first team has won first place in the top division of the Salinas Petanca League . Read the full story on page 16.

Shouting “A united Lorca will be rebuilt!”, the residents held placards and banners that made the city streets a sea of colour and demonstrators were boosted by the solidarity of Murcia’s residents who applauded the procession as it made its way through the city. Some banners simply read: “Why do we have no home?” But behind every one of those placards and banners lies a story of helplessness, disappointment and hardship with no end in sight. Many of the victims, who hail from the neighbourhood of La Viña, or what is now known as ‘Ground Zero’, made their way to Murcia on a convoy of coaches and met just before noon in the Jardín de Floridablanca. Continued on page 3


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

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THE CHURCH of England has announced that the next archbishop of Canterbury will be selected with the help of Twitter. Using the standard 140 characters or less the public will be invited to offer names and views “on the needs of the Diocese of Canterbury and the wider community.” A spokesman confirmed

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that the invitation would be made formally through the church press but also through social networking on sites such as Twitter where the church already tweets regularly. The election of a new archbishop is usually conducted in private but this time a public vote is sought with a decision targeted for the end of May.

Amy leaves her fortune to Mum and Dad SOUL SINGER Amy Winehouse, who died last July, has left a legacy to her family of almost €3.5 million three and a half million euros. On her death the estate was valued at more than €5 million but was considerably reduced by debts and tax. Amy had constructed a will that ensured her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil would not receive a penny of the estate which instead has gone to her parents.

Thousands of fake items seized MORE THAN 50 people have been arrested in Torrevieja this week in an operation by the Guardia Civil to eradicate the influx of fake items that are currently being sold throughout the municipality. Thousands of counterfeit products were seized during the operation such as sunglasses, handbags,

music CDs and DVDs. The Guardia Civil has said that it has not ruled out further arrests and that it intends to extend the operation to other municipalities in the Alicante Province. The Number Two Court of Torrevieja has processed all the detainees and they have been charged with forgery and counterfeit offences.


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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

continued from front page

Great weekly day trips

Burial of the Sardine Carnival type fie


Evening trip


Evening fun. April 14th

UNACCEPTABLE The Assembly Speaker, Juan Carlos Segura, told the gathered protestors that aid from the Joint Commission is “being held by the regional government which to date has not given an explanation to the citizens of Lorca as to the reason for the delay.” According to the Assembly, the Joint Com-

mission has handed in a total of €26 million in aid for Lorca residents but funds are just “trickling in” causing residents to live in an agonising situation. And with almost 10,000 people displaced in the city and 2,000 families still waiting to have their homes repaired, there really cannot be any excuse why those millions of euros in aid are being held back. “It is absolutely unacceptable,” said Segura. The Assembly has also submitted a letter, backed by more than 6,500 signatures to the Government Ombudsman, in which it has openly criticised the cynicism of President Valcárcel saying it is “bordering on an insult to the victims.”

Changes to bus routes

THE DELEGATE for Transport at the Torrevieja Town Hall, Antonio Boix, has confirmed that from this week, the Urban Transport Service of Torrevieja will undergo several changes in order to optimise and try to improve the routes. The routes will be expanded to include several new areas such as the Sports City and the future market and they will also be eliminating repetitive bus stops and routes with very low demand. Anthony Boix told RTN that all the details of the new routes, changes and new timetables are available on the Costa Azul, the bus company’s website at

Increased services for Easter IT HAS been announced this week that there will be an increase in the street cleaning and rubbish collection services in Orihuela over Easter in order to accommodate the extra visitors and tourists to the municipality during Semana Santa. The Orihuela Town Hall has said that it is happy with the way that the services are being run now that they are being managed in-house and that it is even managing to save substantial amounts money on the service since it was taken over earlier this year.

A Spokesman for the Town Hall told RTN: “We have managed to increase the working hours and routes of the service throughout the municipality and some hamlets now have regular collections, whereas beforehand they didn’t have them.” He also said that now the contract is being managed by the Town Hall, they have realised just how badly the service was being run before and also the underhanded tactics that were being used by the previous company; all of which are currently being investigated by the judge in charge of the Brugal corruption case.

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A brilliant day in Caravaca

Murcia city/ shops- Market day



After the tour of the city, they congregated at the Palacio de San Esteban where they observed a minutes’ silence for the victims. Some of the residents then read a manifesto to complain about the “disastrous” management of the regional government.

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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Flight chaos as strike bites A lorry driver is stopped in Cordoba

by jack troughton AIRLINES CANCELLED hundreds of international flights ahead of Spain’s general strike yesterday (Thursday) fearing the country could be brought to a standstill. Transport and industry were expected to be the two sectors worst hit by the walkout in protest at Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy’s planned labour reforms – unions claiming it would be easier to sack workers and cut pay. And although there was an agreed package for local bus and train services, around 30% during peak hours, many domestic flights were cancelled and regional rail services halted. The Foreign Office in London warned travellers to check with airlines or tour operators before heading to UK airports and also predicted passengers would find local transport services heavily disrupted. Travellers were also told to expect disruption as workers took to the streets to demonstrate in city centres across Spain. ARRESTS By 8am yesterday morning police had made 58 arrests after clashing with pickets and a spokesman for the Spanish government said six police officers and three strikers had suffered injuries in “minor incidents.” Minister of the Interior Felip Puig predicted that during the day of action there would be “violent groups trying to create disturbances” – although unions were quick to hail the 24-hour stoppage “a huge success”. El Pais reported a police car had been hit by a petrol bomb in Murcia, although there were no injuries caused by the Molotov cocktail. The main problems in the early hours of the strike were caused at wholesale food markets at cities across the country. Some were brought to a standstill and at others police were able to force a passage for delivery

lorries – although access was restricted to a handful of trucks, rather than the hundreds arriving and leaving on a normal day. And during the morning rush hour picket lines formed at businesses, factories, and public transport hubs in cities and major towns with demonstrators carrying placards reading “General Strike” and “Work Reform, No!”. PROTEST Unions called for workers to down tools as a “democratic protest” against the government’s reforms but Prime Minister Rajoy believes the new labour law will address Spain’s growing unemployment, already at nearly 23% and amongst 16 to 24-year-old demographic, 50%. And while the unions say it is the economy not laws that are responsible for Spain’s current crisis, the impact of the strike was predicted to be lessened by agreements to run minimum services – and the reluctance of struggling families to lose a day’s pay. Mr Rajoy had predicted in Brussels that his government’s reforms would “cost me” a general strike and the forecast came true with the eighth countrywide stoppage since the restoration of democracy. However, the Prime Minister, who is determined to show the EU Spain would fulfil her promises to cut spending and reduce its public deficit, is equally as determined to stand firm on reforms. His government will announce a tough budget today (Friday) aimed at reducing Spain’s public deficit to 5.3% of output in 2012, compared to 8.51% of GDP last year. Analysts believe the government needs to slash 50 billion euros off its budget if it is to meet its target and Mr Rajoy has already announced: “We will pass a very, very austere budget.”

RTN out a day early next week NEXT WEEK, due to the Easter weekend, RTN will be coming out one day early. Instead of getting your weekly round up of local, regional and national news on Friday next week, RTN will be delivered to all its usual outlets on THURSDAY 5th APRIL. RTN would like to take this opportunity to wish all its readers a very Happy Easter. Your favourite English newspaper will be back out as normal the following on Friday 13th April.

Romanian gangs tattoo prostitutes THE NATIONAL Police have broken up two Romanian gangs in Madrid that abused and exploited women who suffered extensive beatings, had their hair and eyebrows shaved and were tattooed with a ‘barcode’ on their wrists as a certificate of ownership. The barcode included information on how much money the victims ‘owed’ the organisation, ranging from a few thousand Euros up to 140,000€.

22 people have been arrested, including the two gang leaders. National Police participating in the operation highlighted the extreme cruelty perpetrated on the victims, some of them minors, forced into prostitution in a network of ‘ketones’ (rented apartments). A number of weapons were also seized such as guns, machetes and swords as well as cash, jewellery and five vehicles.

The price of your vote by louise clarke ANTONIA MORENO, the leader of the socialist PSOE party has just been getting on with her job for the last nine months. Not feeling the need to over publicise and boast about decisions that she and her three party government team have made during their term in office, RTN has not heard much from her in recent months. But after last week’s statement from coastal political party, CLARO, which was reported in the paper, she has contacted RTN, to speak out about the confusing and damaging situation within the Orihuela Town Hall that just doesn’t seem to be going away. She told RTN: “For the first time in years, we are ruling without pressure, without blackmail, without having to bow down. Now we are faced with a Councillor (Houliston) who is willing to break, to destabilise and to deceive the voters. He plans to gamble with the city of Orihuela and go down in history as just another anecdote of political crap.” She added: “Whether he is English or not, that is irrelevant; this is simply a consequence of these cosmopolitan times. The arguments which are being counted to justify this betrayal of the will of the majority of Orihuela, smell of cheap imperialism and are outdated.”

OPEN LETTER Moreno doesn’t know the reasons for Bob’s decision to go over to the PP or even if it is true, but what she does want to know is what he thinks he will gain from the alliance. She concluded: “Their intentions are not known and we don’t know who is listening and who is obeying. Does Bob not care about Orihuela or is he only interested in converting Orihuela Costa into a second Gibraltar?” Moreno has written an open letter to Bob Houliston, which she would like to be printed in RTN…

Dear Bob, I hoped I would never have to ask you the price of your vote. If the dark side of power is looking for a Councillor willing to sell, I hope it has not found the seller in you. It is not worth your silence, your indolence or your lack of commitment to the political reality of the people who live together in this municipality. Being British does not exempt you from being a citizen of Orihuela or being a town councillor and you owe this to all the citizens who live in Orihuela. I hope you do not move the cheque book in your own direction or in the direction of those around you. From the little I know about you I hope you show the honour which you boast and come out of the shade

Antonia Moreno

and remove the suspicion that Monica Lorente has placed over your head.

Torrevieja in drag IN THE run up to The International Drag Artists Show to take place in Madrid shortly, Joseph Billet’s (aka Joe The Cat Man) grandson, a top drag artist, is staging a drag show in the harbour in Torrevieja on Sunday with 27 of his friends to celebrate Joe’s birthday. The show can accommodate seating for 500 and starts at 10am, continuing until 2pm, with exquisite stage outfits and fun for all. The Ayuntamiento has arranged for casitas selling food and drink and various local bands and singers are to perform after the show.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Beware of Leishmania by louise Clarke

FOLLOWING THE terrible incidents a few weeks ago with the dangerous dog food, it has come to RTN’s attention that an even more potentially fatal disease is currently worrying local vets. Leishmania, known as the Silent Disease, affects all dogs and is a silent but deadly disease; not visibly evident until the disease has established a stranglehold within the dog. Leishmania in dogs is the equivalent to cancerous tumours in people; in many cases, by the time the symptoms are obvious, it is just too late. As with cancer, saving the life of the dog is in the balance once the disease has taken hold. If it’s gone too far, there is nothing that can be done. Outward signs include: swollen lymphnodes, alopecia and dermatitis, especially around the eye sockets and across the muzzle, and unnaturally long claws. Inward problems include: deterioration of the condition of the dog’s eyes, progressive loss of weight

with decreased appetite, nose bleeds and increased urination and excess drinking. VACCINATION Canine Leishmania is a disease transmitted directly from a sandfly to a dog and sandflies are most active at dusk and dawn, so keeping your dog indoors at these times reduces the risk of infection. Currently, no cure exists for canine Leishmaniasis, but courses of specific treatments can control the spread of the disease. Treatment for life can be distressing for a dog and expensive for its owner, so as with most things, prevention is better than cure. Prevention usually takes the form of collars or regular vaccinations, but very recently a new vaccine has been developed which is promising great results in the long-term protection for dogs against this disease. The vaccine can only be administered to dogs that have tested negative for Leishma-

Lighting on the up

FROM THIS Sunday lighting will be more expensive for consumers with an increase of between 5% and 7%, making the average monthly household bill 5.18€ higher. This follows the price hike on gas in January that represented an average rise in the quarterly bill of a not-quite-so-painful 0.57€. The Economy Ministry also approved increases over the next two years for property tax (IBI) on 50% of homes with a greater assessed value. The executive applies a progressive rate - from 10% to 4% - depending on the date of the last cadastral revision. The government estimates that the measure will mean an increase in revenue for local authorities of €918 million.

The disease is deadly for dogs

nia, so the first step in the process is to get your dog tested. Following a negative result, the vaccine can be administered, protecting the dog from the disease. PROTECT YOU AND YOUR DOG RTN spoke to the vets at Petsworld in San Miguel de Salinas for advice on this issue and they have stressed the importance to seek veterinary advice with regards to this disease and if at all possible get your dog vaccinated with the new vaccine to ensure that your dog is protected against this silent and vicious disease. But it is not just dogs that are being stuck down with Leishmania.

King Juan Carlos steps in

This week it was announced that the Ministry of Health in Madrid is investigating an outbreak of Leishmania in humans. The illness can be transmitted to humans but is usually quite rare. The number of cases in the Fuenlabrada area of the city has reached more than 200 since February and in humans, the disease causes skin ulcers but in more serious cases it can cause liver and spleen damage. The Madrid Vets College says that nearly 10% of the dogs in the city are infected with the disease, which makes this new vaccination even more important for dogs and their owners.

KING JUAN Carlos has voiced his concerns over unemployment at a meeting attended by 17 of Spain’s largest companies. The King’s comments were made during lunch following last Tuesday’s meeting and he directly asked attendees to express their views on managing their business prospects and how they expected employment to evolve. The King’s attendance at the monthly meeting of the Business Council for Competitiveness (ECC) was at the request of the Zarzuela Palace and organised by the Casa del Rey and the President of Telefonica and the CEC, Cesar Alierta.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Cosy meeting photo proves alliance is thriving

The cosy meeting between the PP and CLARO last weekend

by Louise Clarke THE POLITICAL situation in Orihuela has intensified further this week after the President of the coastal political party, CLARO, Bob Houliston and the former Mayor and leader of the PP, Monica Lorente were photographed having a cosy meeting alongside some of their closest colleagues at a hotel in Orihuela. The photograph has further intensified speculation of the formation of an alliance between the two parties with the sole aim of ousting the current ‘tripartite’ government team. Representatives from both CLARO and PP intimated that the meeting was held purely to discuss strategy and to agree to jointly back a motion which the PP introduced at the ‘pleno’ meeting that took place last night (Thursday), denouncing the division of the coastal responsibilities, as reported in last week’s paper. RTN was at that meeting and will have a full report on the results of that motion and what followed the meeting in next week’s issue. POLITICS Meanwhile, CLARO issued a statement to explain in full the reasons behind the alliance which quite frankly has left the majority of coastal residents aghast, especially as CLARO has spent the best part of the last six years slagging off the PP, its coastal policies and its leader, Monica Lorente. But hey that’s politics…! The statement said: “CLARO will respond positively to the Popu-

lar Party’s initiative and is in principle ready to vote for this motion. We oppose the Mayor’s decision to divide responsibilities for Orihuela Costa between three coordinators from the three parties in the minority government coalition and we expressed deep concern that the consequence of this restructuring of responsibilities for the coast would lead to the loss of a separate budget managed by the Councillor for the Coast.” FAIR CHANCE Thanks to the Popular Party initiative to present its own motion at the ‘pleno’, the Mayor’s decision, which CLARO firmly believes is detrimental to the interests of Orihuela Costa, will now be debated. The statement continued: “There is more than a fair chance that the motion will be approved, the government will be defeated and the decision will be rejected.” Bob Houliston, as President of CLARO, has told RTN that he is ready to meet representatives of the PP again to discuss forthcoming meetings at the Town Hall, including issues with budgetary importance for the coast such as the credit repayment plan, which needs to be approved this month, in order to benefit from the Madrid government’s facility for paying unpaid local government bills, and the delayed Orihuela municipal budget for 2012. What next week brings is anyone’s guess! The saga continues…



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

All hands on deck to get beaches back in shape

Shopsellingdangerous herbs closed by police

POLICE HAVE closed a shop in central Alicante selling herbs, pills and powders that could pose a serious health risk. The manager of the shop has been arrested and 500 grams of different types of herbs seized along with a hundred capsules and tablets; 100 grams of powdered preparations; and 1,500€ in cash. Advertising distributed at the university claimed that the products available at the store ‘replicated the effects of ecstasy, cocaine and marijuana’, offering special promotions and giveaways and ‘Buy One Get One Free’ on certain lines. Consumers report that side-affects include insomnia; loss of appetite; increased blood pressure and heart rate; paranoia and aggressive behaviour.

by LOUISE CLARKE WITH LESS than a week until the official start of the traditional holiday season and Easter, it is all hands on deck in Orihuela Costa after last week’s storm all but destroyed three of the coast’s eight blue flag beaches. A team of engineers from the city of Orihuela has been seconded to join their coastal colleagues in order to undertake what has been described as a “mammoth” task and get the beaches in tip top condition by next week. The storm earlier this week has completely destroyed La Zenia beach and severely damaged Cala Capitain and Punta Prima beaches. And with even the basic infrastructures washed away by the fast flowing torrent of water that made its way down the natural water courses down to the beach last week, the team has got one hell of a job on its hands to get it ship shape in such a short space of time. HUGE TASK Orihuela’s Councillor for Beaches, Pedro Mancebo, introduced the ‘Crisis Team’ after they had done their initial inspections of the Orihuela coastline. He told RTN: “We have a huge task on our hands to get the beaches back to blue flag standard before Semana Santa week, when the coast’s tourist season really starts.” Incredibly he also said that the Local Police and Civil Protection unit only got the call from the Emergency Service Centre at 11.23am

La Zenia beach was destroyed by the storm on Tuesday

last Tuesday morning to say that the situation had been officially upgraded to an ‘Orange’ state; indicating possible destruction of key infrastructure. Fortunately, several hours before that call the Local Police and Civil Protection on the coast, clearly aware of the severity of the situation, were working hard helping the children of the coast get into school and diverting traffic from the worst affected areas. CLEAN UP OPERATION Pedro added: “The coast’s Local Police and Civil Protection did a wonderful job during last week’s downpour. It was a very serious situation and thankfully there were no serious injuries or fatalities as a result.” The clean up operation

Reduced ticket prices on Express Iberia

IBERIA EXPRESS, the budget carrier created by British Airways and Iberia, began selling its 50€ reduced price return tickets for the Alicante-Madrid route this week. The tickets were available from Wednesday for five days, valid has now started in earnest and Pedro for six months. Iberia Express opened its El Altet to Barajas has said that he will be coordinating the operation on Sunday with four Airbus 320s, with plans to plan of action. He said: “There is lots of expand to short and medium range national and European work to do but I am confident that we destinations with a fleet of 14 aircraft. The company claims can replace the services that were lost its prices are “competitive.” Its maiden flights coincide with and repair the affected beaches to their Ryanair’s withdrawal from El Altet. original state in time for Easter. We have to do this in order to retain our blue flags so this is a top priority.” He commented that it is no surprise that the coast was so badly affected with more than 120 litres per metre square of rainwater falling in such a short space of time. “It doesn’t help,” he added, “when we have to deal with such poor and badly planned infrastructure. Rainwater evacuation on the coast is notoriously poor and that is something that needs to be rectified as soon as possible.”



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

talk tous

Email letters to with your full name and address

letter of the week

Let’s bash a bank HAVING DECIDED (correctly) that my local bank was a bit suspect I looked for an alternative and Santander wooed me with promises, in five pages of fine print, that I could have all my banking for free – provided that I bought 500 of their shares. Not much scope for capital gain, I thought but some dividend interest added to free banking was better than I was getting so I handed over my 5000 euros. Little more than a year later Santander announced that free banking was available only to the holders of 1,000 shares. I must buy 500 more or pay bank charges.

“Beware the Promise of Satellite TV on a 1m Dish” THERE ARE now several companies advertising that you can receive all TV channels on a 1m dish. At the moment they are correct because a new satellite ‘Astra 1N’ has been launched. It was originally to be positioned at 19.2E but due to problems with Astra 2D it has been moved to 28.2E and has taken over all the frequencies/channels from Astra 2D. Because it has wider beams and is more powerful than Astra 2D we can now receive all channels 24/7 on a small dish. However, Astra 1N will be moved to 19.2E when Astra 2E and Astra 2F are launched in late 2012 and 2013. Both these new satellites are designed with a very tight beam width for the UK only, and this means that we will probably be worse off than we were with Astra 2D and therefore we will require a very large dish to receive the channels. So, in summary, a 1m dish will work in the short term, but not for long. Regards, Jonathan Barr

Breach of contract? Who in their right mind would challenge these scoundrels. I decided to close my account – and a charge of 36.20 euro appeared on my final statement. “Ah, yes, that was for the final six months”. And the total cost of my Free Banking adventure? That final charge plus the collapse of Santander`s share price from 9.97 to 6.22 adds up to a bit more than 1,700 euro. Beware! There may be a branch of Santander prowling your area. AHG, Moraira

Get your priorities right

I READ with interest the article re cleaning up the beaches on the Coast, and although the removal of graffiti is an admirable start, I suggest that now that Pedro Mancebo’s sole job appears to be the beaches in Orihuela costa, I would suggest the first priority would be the safety of residents and tourists using them. The picture shown in the article by Louise Clarke shows the bay at Cabo Roig which is indeed beautiful. Its a place I fell in love with twenty five years ago and where I have lived ever since. Unfortunately where as the coastal walks on the Campamor side and La Zenia have been finished to a good standard, the walk way around Cabo Roig has in fact been allowed to deteriorate, instead of being the Jewel in the crown it is in fact dangerous with a one foot wall being the only protection between falling in some places twenty feet too the sea or rocks below, I cringe sometimes watching little children running along that pathway, the walkway itself is broken and uneven and the walls on the other side of the walkway are crumbling. After heavy rain or high winds it is a brave person who would walk between Cabo Roig and La Zenia, it’s only with luck that a fatal accident has not occurred. Perhaps if he has time Senor Mancebo might like to take a (careful) stroll around there himself then hopefully find the money to finish the only unfinished stretch of the sea walkway, only then can the camera show a true picture and beauty of Cabo Roig. Yours truly, A concerned resident

Don’t blame others

IN RESPONSE to the letter from Julia Gill about blood donations, the restrictions have been in place since the early 90’s, so possibly the town hall did not feel the need to tell you about a rule that has been in place for 20 years. Also, unless you go and ask, how is anyone supposed to tell you about the restriction? They are not mind readers, so please don’t blame other people for your ignorance A. McFenton

Sticking with them WELL IT has happened to CLARO again! I must admit I did have to stifle a grin this morning when I saw the front pages of the local press and yet another CLARO leader crosses over to the PP. It is history repeating itself. What do the PP do - open the right door or perhaps more accurately offer the right amount? With all due respect I cannot understand a chap of that age putting himself under so much pressure! I do feel sorry for CLARO but there again it is a free world. I wonder if they will still be around come the next election? At least the party we voted for is not so “green” behind the ears and can make their mind up which way they are going. We will stick with them! Regards, Bill Owens

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Italian Prime Minister apologises for comments on Spain’s economy

Monti and Rajoy kiss and make up

by jan gamm ITALIAN PRIME Minister Mario Monti voiced his concerns over the effect of Spain’s economic situation on the rest of Europe at an organised forum in Cernobbio by the General Confederation of Italian Trade. He said: “Spain is giving serious concerns in Europe with a contagious economic situation that could spread throughout the continent.” His remarks so incensed the Spanish Government, an apology

was demanded. Later, the spokesman for President of the Council, Elisabetta Olivi, issued a statement in which Monti expressed his appreciation “…for the deep labour market reform in Spain with great immediacy introduced by the Government of Mariano Rajoy,” adding that he had “full confidence in the determination of the Spanish Government with respect to fiscal consolidation.”

Fine weather to increase almond crop by 50% IT’S ALL about the rain… Despite agricultural headaches experienced over the past year the good news is that nut producers in Alicante have cautiously announced that the region’s almond crop will be boosted by 50% as a result of a dry winter followed by last week’s soaking. Provided more excessive rain does not appear in the next weeks, almond growers in l’Alcoià, El Comtat Foia Vinalopó Castalla and cooperatives in the Vinalopó Castalla known as ‘The Trencadora’ expect a bumper harvest of approximately 1.5 million kilos - double that of last year. As its name suggests, the ‘Trencadora’ is responsible for breaking the shells of the almonds to harvest the nuts.



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

The Fast Track Hypnosis Diaries


Alan Gilchrist The Costa Blanca’s Top Hypnotherapist

IN THE last write up I explained about a young lady who had a very interesting phobia, every time someone would talk about a medical condition in front of her or even if she saw something on TV she would faint! Obviously this was very distressing and embarrassing to her particularly in her job. Its now been four weeks since she commenced her sessions with me and has completed the Fast Track Hypnosis. This is her story and how Fast Track Hypnosis has helped. “ My problem is quite an unusual one , although one that had been with me for as long as I can remember. It is a mixture of the fear of needles/injections etc., along with the sight of blood or any kind of gory event – even talking about it!. As I got older it now seems to me to be the “pain” aspect of a situation. Its almost like I take on whatever “pain” I’m seeing and/or imagine , or feel it within myself - this then causes me to feel terribly week and results in me fainting. Seeking the help of Hypnotherapy was really a last option for me , as I had tried seeking help from doctors and they were unable to help. My phobia had taken over me for so long, it was now an automatic reaction if I came in contact with any injection, blood or any type of pain. It even occurred whilst on a night out at the cinema. The scenes of a particular film were just too graphic , I felt myself get incredibly sick , cold and hot flushes and before I knew it , I had fainted. Quite public scenes like this one , were becoming more and more common - I knew I had to do something about it. My first Hypnosis session was incredibly effective. I felt relaxed to an amazing degree, that when I “woke up” I felt so free of stress and tension, almost light headed, I couldn’t help but smile. Throughout the other sessions I learned to completely relax my whole self at a much quicker rate. Different breathing exercises and positive thinking helped me face and conquer my phobia. I’ve recently attended the dentist to get my 1st filling, I endured an injection to numb the area and was able to get through it without fainting - as you can imagine I was over the moon. I’ve never known myself not to faint in that kind of scenario. I’m now planning to re-watch that film I fainted at whilst at the cinema. I feel confi-

dent I can get through the whole film this time. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Alan for all his help and advice. I really feel I’ve come so far and although it will take ongoing work on myself to conquer many other problems that should arise, I now feel confident and positive to conquer them successfully. Cathy”

The whole point of Fast Track Hypnosis is to get the person to change as fast as possible, should it be simple problems such as weight control or to stop smoking to the more complicated ones, such as panic attacks , phobias etc. I came away from conventional Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy and developed my own techniques, (also introducing specialised equipment from America to speed up the whole process ). It all stems back to my early years as a Hypnotherapist in Belfast in the early 80’s. Back then Hypnotherapy was a new alternative treatment and many people viewed it with great scepticism. Having trained as an Analytical Hypnotherapist, I opened a small office in Belfast and started to treat clients. One of the Sunday newspapers decided to do a feature on me, and word started to get round there was this guy who could help to sort people out with their problems. From that one article it just started to grow. I saw the employed, unemployed, multi millionaires, TV, Radio and sports personalities, people from every walk of life (to date I have seen well over 55,000 + people). In a short space of time I had 7 Hypnotherapy Clinics throughout Northern Ireland and working 7 days a week flat out. (Now I have four here as well as in Northern Ireland with further ones planned this year). However,being in practice in Northern Ireland was completely different from Mainland UK due to the many victims of the troubles. In the early years counselling was very limited, so I had to help thousands of people caught up in the conflict, ranging from the rescue service personnel who had to go into the aftermath of bombings, even the people caught up in bombings, shootings, bomb scares, armed robberies, the list was endless. It was because of this, I came away from my con-

ventional training of Analytical Hypnotherapy where people would normally be regressed into their childhood to try to recall the originating cause of their panic attacks, or other problems. This could take up to 15 sessions to achieve, when clearly it wasn’t in their childhood at all, it had happened right then! All of these people had suffered quite enough and just wanted sorted out as quickly as possible so they could get on with their lives. And that is exactly what I did and still continue to do! I achieved this by cutting everything down to the fastest way possible, without losing any effectiveness, the system that I developed and continue to use is unlike any other Hypnotherapy process. My philosophy is that once the person starts to change the rest will take care of itself. Once again this week I received some more feed back from previous clients. “ I went to Alan and within 2 weeks I lost 11lbs (5 kilos). I play the CD every night as it helps me to relax. I hope my weight keeps coming off. Thank you Alan. Trevor. “ “ I would like to tell everyone about how Alan helped me to stop smoking 22 years. I had Hypnosis back then and I have never smoked a cigarette since. The very thought of an ashtray makes me feel sick and my stomach starts to turn with the very thought of a cigarette. I would not even handle a cigarette or a packet for that matter. Just keep playing your CD as required. Now trying it for weight loss , Will keep you informed so fingers crossed again (Thanks) Ester.” “ I attended Alan Gilchrist in 1996. I was previous to this a 20 - 30 a day smoker I am still after 16 years a non smoker. Feeling so much healthier and energetic. I tried Hypnosis in 1994 with a different Hypnotherapist with no effect. I would recommend this therapy to anyone who wants to stop smoking. Alison.” In the next write up I will be telling you about an interesting case about weight control. More Fast Track Hypnosis next time.

Alan holds his Fast Track Hypnosis sessions in Cabo Roig, Guardarmar, and Benidorm and NEW in Los Alcazares. Alan is also the creator of the ‘Stop Smoking in under 30 minutes Fast Track System’. For an appointment, brochure or a free of charge initial consultation on your particular problem, contact Alan Gilchrist on 659 229 408 or visit his websites or

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Positive steps to integrate all foreign residents

Ryanair loses yet another appeal BUDGET AIRLINE Ryanair has lost another appeal against El Altet airport authority AENA’s compulsory air bridge policy. The Court’s decision, made public on Monday, upheld the theory that Ryanair’s practice of boarding passengers on foot from the concourse posed a risk to safety. Ryanair is charged with the costs of the proceeding but may appeal. The airline’s withdrawal from El Altet is estimated to have cost the airport 1.5 million passengers annually. The court ruling comes on the heels of another on-going UK-based investigation into Ryanair charging passengers seated near safety doors an extra 10€ for “legroom,” leaving the aircraft with empty safety seats in the event of passengers declining to pay the surcharge. Ryanair claims this is “irrelevant” as all their passengers are informed of safety procedures.

by louise clarke RTN WAS honoured to be invited to the official inauguration of the new AMICS office in Redovan on Monday. The office, which will also be home to the Mancomunidad la Vega Social Services, was opened by the Valencia Director General of Immigration, Development and Cooperation, Herminia Perez Palomar. The Mancomunidad la Vega is a collaboration of four local municipalities, San Miguel de Salinas, Algorfa, Jacarilla and Redován and all four Mayors of those municipalities as well as some of their Councillors were also in attendance. A group of British residents from Algorfa was invited along with representatives of the North African community in Redován who also provided a buffet of typical Moroccan and Algerian food at the reception after the ceremony. INTEGRATE Of the 22,803 registered residents in the four towns that make up the Mancomunidad la Vega, 44.93% are foreign residents and originate from 80 different countries. The majority of that percentage comes from the European Union but 1,943 of those residents come from elsewhere in the world, hence the importance for such an office. As a result of the influx of foreign residents to the area, the Mancomunidad la Vega has been working hard to integrate them

British reps from Algorfa with Samantha Biddles

into Spanish society and has developed numerous programmes and services to accommodate the needs of those residents. This was recognised by the Director General at the event earlier this week. She told RTN: “The Mancomunidad is a prime example of the positive work being made at a municipal level to promote the positive integration of foreigners and I can assure you that the collaboration with the Valencia Government, which begins today with the opening of this office, will continue into the future.” COUNSELLING AND GUIDANCE Mancomunidad la Vega will share the office with AMICS to improve care for this particular group of residents and representatives from the Depart-


Swimming Club under a cloud

THE CIVIL Protection authorities closed access to the port area in Barcelona on Wednesday after eight people suffered minor irritations caused by a chlorine and sulphuric acid cloud mixture in the indoor pool at Barceloneta Swimming ment of Justice and Social Welfare will Club. The premises were evacuated by the Fire Department. be regularly attending the office, which The Club Director, Julian Garcia, confirmed that the is located opposite the Redován Town incident was due to “human error,” when a mixture of chlorine and sulphuric acid generated a “small toxic cloud.” Hall. The two story building will also act A security perimeter of 60 meters was established around as an information office and a place for the compound while work was carried out to ventilate mediation, counselling and guidance the interior of the covered area. Five of the eight injured for all foreign residents, regardless of victims were treated at the Hospital del Mar, one in the CAP their country of origin. The President of Manso and two at the scene. Traffic conditions at the port the Mancomunidad la Vega and Mayor returned to normal within a few hours. of Algorfa, Antonio Lorenzo Paredes, told RTN: “The collaboration between the two agencies will allow specialised attention to the group of foreigners in each municipality. The office will operate without prejudice and waiting lists and its aim is to facilitate citizen access to social services and to ensure all the steps and procedures are followed without users having to travel outside the municipality.”


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Councillor meets Valencia Tourism Chief by louise clarke THE ORIHUELA Councillor for Tourism, Protocol and Communication, Pedro Mancebo (CLR), met with the Director General of Tourism for the Valencia Community in Benidorm this week to discuss areas of major importance to Orihuela’s coastal residents and the tourists and visitors who wish to travel there. Sebastián Ferrández, who has only been in the job for a few months, was happy to listen to the Orihuela representative during their one to one meeting. One of the most important items on the agenda was transport links to Orihuela Costa. Pedro requested that the project for the train connection to Torrevieja be extended to enable the train to travel to, and through Orihuela Costa, with convenient stops then continue its journey onto Pilar de la Horadada, perhaps towards Murcia and then southward bound. BUS SERVICE One other vital means of transport which is missing in Orihuela Costa is the bus connection to El Altet (Alicante airport). Mancebo

told RTN: “The service has been running daily to and from Torrevieja for nearly one year but is not used by the high number of passengers originally expected and so the service has been reduced.” Mancebo is convinced that if the airport bus service could be extended to Orihuela Costa, the numbers of passengers travelling to and from the airport would increase, hence justifying this important means of travel. He said: “The airport bus service would be a magnet for tourists and visitors to Orihuela Costa especially in these difficult financial times. A family with two small children, luggage and a pushchair would much easily find their way to Orihuela Costa if the airport bus service was available.” PROFESSIONAL TRAINING Mancebo also discussed with the Director General the need for a Centre for the Development of Tourism (CdT) for Orihuela Costa. He said: “This centre would be very beneficial to Orihuela Costa and its residents espe-


THE GRAVINA Fine Arts Museum (MUBAG) in Alicante is hosting an exhibition on the history of 15th and 16th Century Valencian silk. The exhibition is entitled L’dels Velluters Art and opened on Wednesday to run until 17th June. The 43 items on exhibit include 33 textiles, six books and four panel paintings from the Hispanic Society of America’s New York collection, along with rare examples from museums and churches in the region. The canopy from Our Lady of the Assumption of Elche is also featured. Adorned with pearls, sequins and precious jewels it is one of the oldest examples and still used in Elche’s August processions. For more information visit

Cabo Roig is in the heart of Orihuela Costa and would benefit from extra tourists

cially for job searchers in the hotel industry.” The Director General was aware that there is a CdT in Orihuela city and Torrevieja but not here on the coast. These centres offer professional training for the hotel, bars and restaurants from waiting staff through to reception

work. Pedro concluded: “Such a centre here on the coast would enable some of the unemployed in our municipality to begin official training in the service industry and obtain the necessary qualifications which would enhance their chances of employment.”

Easter bus service THE ORIHUELA Costa Town Hall will be laying on two buses from the coast to take residents to the city in order to watch the Good Friday procession, next Friday evening, 6th April. One bus will leave the coast at 6pm and return at 10.30pm, whilst the other will leave at 8pm and return to the coast at 12.30am. The buses will also stop at Entrenaranjos if residents there would like to take advantage of the service. Bookings must be made via the Tourism Office or at the International Residents Office both of which are in the Playa Flamenca Town Hall. You can also email dwesserling@orihuela. es to reserve your seat on the bus. Prices per person are €4.90 from the coast and €3.00 from Entrenaranjos. If you would prefer to travel to Orihuela yourself, the stunning procession starts at 7.30pm and is likely to take up to five, yes five hours!

Easter book sale

BARGAIN BOOKS go on sale on Easter Saturday when Javea’s Original Charity Library is offering a chance to stock up on reading material. by jack troughton The charity’s Grand Book Sale is being staged outside the Iceland Supermarket on 7th April with quality books available at three for 1€ and a large selection of individually priced books. The organisers said there will also be a wide selection of children’s books – ready Volunteers to keep young visitors happy. The sale starts at 10am and continues until 3.30pm outside the and the charity has also organised a tombola with the chance to win great prizes. library

Miss Spain not goingbust

THE ORGANISERS of the ‘Miss Spain’ beauty pageant have denied reports predicting imminent closure of the competition due to financial difficulties. Spanish newspaper La Razon reported on Saturday that Miss Spain was to face closure due to bankruptcy. However, the company has stringently denied via social networking sites that the competition is to close and is considering legal action in the face of “false and inaccurate press reports.”

New coastal email THE TOWN Hall in Orihuela Costa has created a new email address for all coastal residents to use if they want to complain about any municipal matters, report problems and make suggestions. The new address is costa@ and Town Hall representatives would like to encourage all residents to use this address when contacting the coastal Town Hall. The email will be checked several times each working day and residents can write their emails in English, Spanish, French or German. It is also the email address to use when reporting graffiti to the newly created ‘Graffiti Brigade’, which is currently going around the coast eradicating these unsightly works of art.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012



Castle team is league leader 30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Book Fair

THE ANNUAL Torrevieja Book Fair officially opens tomorrow (Saturday). The Councillor for Culture, Luis Maria Pizana will open the fair, which will be located in the Paseo de La Libertad at 11am. This is the sixteenth annual Book Fair in Torrevieja and is being organised in collaboration with the Torrevieja Town Hall and five major book shops that are located in the city: Santos Ochoa, Stationery Torrevieja, Bargain Books, Stationery Trini and Eduardo and Javier Gomis. The Book Fair will be open to the public during the morning and evening until 16th April.

Bike for life The Castillo de Conesa Petanca Club First Team

by louise clarke THE CASTILLO de Conesa Petanca Club was formed in 2010 from a group of breakaway petanca players from another club. When they started there were no petanca pistes at all but after meeting with the owner of the Castillo, Snr Conesa, he generously agreed to build six pistes and the rest, as they say, is history. Whilst the proper pistes were being built the fledgling team would practice on waste ground by the side of the stunning castle, which is located in San Miguel de Salinas. Since then, the club

has gone from strength to strength and have been winning competitions throughout the season. They have also won league cups, which proudly stand on display inside the castle. SUCCESS This year, the Castillo first team, captained by Ray Hayes has won first place in the top division of the Salinas Petanca League and is currently standing in first position of the second division of the local Swedish Petanca League.

When RTN went to visit the team, they were in the process of building a new club shed which is being erected with funds raised during competition days. Anyone who is interested in joining the club can go along to the Castle on a Monday or a Thursday, which are practice days, from 1.45pm. RTN would like to congratulate the team on their fabulous achievements and wish them every success for the future. For more information, please email Diane at

by Louise Clarke FANCY A nice bike ride on Easter Saturday? The inaugural Bike for Life will take place on Saturday 7th April in Mil Palmeras. Presided over by the Mayor of Pilar, Jose Fidel Ros, this event, which organisers hope will become an annual event in the coastal calendar, is open to everyone, young and old and is an ideal outing for all the family. Taking you over a very easy and safe route and escorted and approved by the Policia Local, the ten kilometre route will take in all the beauty of the Pilar de la Horadada coastline and it is being wholeheartedly supported by the Town Hall. More than 100 cyclists are expected to take part in the event, which is in aid of the EMAUS children’s charity, the AECC and Children with Diabetes. Sponsorship is welcome and the event starts at 10.30am. RTN will also be down there to cover the event and get some photos. For more information and sponsorship forms please call Graham on 603 161 664.

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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Smoking ban & bullfighting

TWO THINGS to comment on this week, both discussed on iTalk FM with Pippa Jones, the on-going debate over the smoking ban and attempts in Spain by the Federation of Bullfighting By Chris Marshall Associations of Catalunya to make bullfighting a ‘Cultural Asset’ throughout Spain. Expat Personally I would ban the bullfighting and allow the smoking as I remain convinced that the smoking blogger

ban has killed the bar and cafe culture here in Spain. Where it was once pleasant to sit on a terrace enjoying the sun or a cool summers evening, now the terraces are full of smokers, ashtrays, fag ends all over the place and if you do want to venture inside (and let’s be honest the above isn’t exactly an attractive front of house) you have to cut your way through a wall of smoke. Here the ‘good news’ continues, as you will more than likely have the bar to yourself as all the other ‘non-smokers’ will be sat outside on the terrace with their smoker friends as we all know that people don’t ‘pop out’ for a smoke to the terrace - they go and sit there all evening! I appreciate the arguments for allowing bullfighting: the tradition; culture; magnificent spectacle; fact that the bulls ‘live like Kings’ – that is until they are mocked and then killed in front of thousands of people… In one debate on this recently someone tried to compare it to boxing, missing the rather obvious point that in boxing both parties decide to participate - the bull, as far as I understand, isn’t consulted! The cause of these two debates this week: a photograph on Facebook of two 6-year-old girls kicking at the body of a dead bull in the street, and the fact that I couldn’t find one bar owner locally who thought that the smoking ban was a good idea. Rather like the bull, they weren’t consulted and are now slowly and cruelly being put to the sword it seems. A few snippets to get your mind around to show how little the news has really changed over the

years: banning prostitution; egg shortage; tour- ago levels by 21 million eggs per week) is the conseism figures; using mobile phones while driving…. quence of egg producers who have closed their barns Haven’t we heard it all before?! because they did not make the transition from conBarcelona is to completely ban prostitution on the ventional cage housing for hens to enriched colony streets of the city before the summer. The CiU Munici- housing by 1st January. pal Government has supported a proposal from the 5.6 million foreign tourists came to Spain during the PP which would enforce the prohibition and toughen first two months of the year, a 2.7% rise on the same the existing fines. Apparently they have had enough period in 2011. There was virtually no change in the of sub-Saharan prostitutes approaching drunken tour- number of tourists coming to Spain from the UK, the ists in La Rambla… leading source market of foreign tourists - up 0.3% to A total of 8,711 drivers have been fined for using 1.1 million. However, there was a slight decrease in the mobile phones while driving during a two-week cam- number of tourists from Germany, the second most paign against distractions while driving. Over the important source market - down 1.2% to 870,030 tourtwo weeks, officials from the Guardia Civil Traffic De- ists in January and February. partment checked nearly 855,000 vehicles and fined 10,889 drivers for carrying allowing themselves to be distracted whilst driving. The Ministry for Development has reached agreement with the unions on minimum transport services during the General Strike on 29th March. They are almost identical to the minimum services during the last General Strike in 2010. Well to be fair they should know what they need to be by now as they keep repeating these strikes! A poll carried out by Simple Lógica shows that 47.6% are against the proposed general strike on 29th March with 44.6% supporting the action. This is despite the vast majority apparently opposing the labour reforms. Consumers in parts of Europe are dealing with an Terraces egg shortage because of reduced egg production. The are full of shortage (French egg production is down from year smokers

Chris is a freelance writer who writes a monthly column for the Telegraph Expat as well as a weekly column for the RTN. He lives in Almerimar with his wife Sands, five cats, two Harley-Davidsons and more often than not a bottle of red wine. He runs the successful expat blog, and his wife runs the cat re-homing and transport project Chris’s columns are sponsored by and on the Telegraph Expat site and by here on RTN. You can hear Chris every Friday discussing his views, thought and experiences of life in Spain on

Annual charity bonus

by jack troughton HARD-WORKING EXPAT Lesley Clark aims to give youngsters living in care homes an annual 5,000€ boost by organising three gift fairs a year. Last Sunday hundreds of people attended the Spring Fair at Javea’s Salones Carrasco helping raise money for the charity Friends of the Children of EMAUS. It was the second time the venue has been picked by Lesley and in November the Carrasco will achieve a hat-trick with a winter event, leading up to the largest of the fairs she painstakingly plans, another Christmas

extravaganza at the Marriott Hotel, Denia. “This is a wonderful venue,” Lesley said on Sunday. “There is plenty of parking and plenty of space inside and outside for stalls. “Everyone pays a euro entrance and that goes direct to the charity, while our hosts here at Carrasco do all they can to make everyone feel welcome.” Pictured (left to right) are Carole Saunders, President of Friends of the Children of EMAUS, Rosana Devesa representing hosts Carrasco, and organiser Lesley Clark.

Celebrating St George MEMBERS AND guests of the Royal British Legion’s Benidoleig and District Branch are invited to a dinner and dance to mark St George’s Day next month. The event to celebrate the patron saint of

England is being staged at the El Cid Restaurant, Benidoleig, and music for the evening will be provided by Mike Ward. Tickets are available by calling Ron Clements on 96 558 3373.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

On the run

ABANDONED GOODS SALE FROM 27/03/2012 - 31/03/2012 Between 10am - 5pm

by jack TRoughton

POUNDING THE streets for charity, 300 people helped make the MABS Race for Life in Moraira a resounding success last Sunday. Groups from the Costa Blanca Business Association, Iceland and the Laude Lady Elizabeth School joined individuals all raring to go after the warm-up routine provided by Benitachell’s Motive8 gym. President of MABS Cancer Support Group Jacqui Phillips, MBE, was delighted to the response to the 5km challenge – whether people chose to run, take a brisk walk or merely stroll along under the spring sun. “It has again been an absolutely fantastic event – I must thank everyone who has run, walked, or just helped to organise this annual event,” she said. RTN’s Claire Cunningham, a veteran of the London Marathon, said she was committed to helping the Race for Life cause wherever it was held. “I hope to do lots of these; they are very important and get the whole community out together. GENEROUS “This is the first time I have completed the MABS event in Moraira – but everyone knows someone touched by cancer, so when I asked people for sponsorship, everyone was very generous.”


And they’re off!

And David Carpenter, from Pego, who is recovering from surgery after developing cancer of the oesophagus, said he was delighted to repay the help he received from MABS. “This is the furthest I have walked since coming out of hospital in January. It is great to be here and great to give something back,” he added. The charity will release details of the amount raised in the coming weeks after sponsorship money has been collected and handed in.

Electrical, Household, Toys, tools Computers etc etc.... every thing must go! Securistore self Storage, C/German Bernacer Elche Parque Empresarial. Tel: 965 681 605


The Day of The Daffoids... 30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

I’VE HAD an email from a lady called Elaine down in La Marina, near Torry. Elaine writes, “Hi Paul, you might have got it wrong about the clocks last week but you were spot on about the daffodils.”

Watts In Britain By

Paul Watts

From the capital of ancient Mercia

Oh, thanks for bringing up the clocks again, Elaine; let’s quickly move on. Elaine says, “Daffs really are my favourite flowers and they so remind me of spring back home.” Although she loves living in Spain (what’s not to love, eh?) Elaine misses seeing the vast swathes of daffodils that cheer up the old country after winter. So, especially for Elaine and all daff lovers here’s some shots to remind you of spring in Britain. You can cut and paste them onto cardboard if you like, ready for Easter cards next week...

And here little Evie rescues two fallen daffs...

... to shady glades, the daffs greet our spring days

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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


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Iberian Funeral Plans - giving you The best car insurance for expatriates peace of mind Línea Directa offers its 70,000 customers residing in Spain the most complete car insurance on the market, with services available entirely in English, which they can take advantage of by making just one phone call at a time which is convenient for them. Here are just a few of the services available offering Expatriates exclusive benefits: • LEGAL ASSISTANCE This service offers the company’s customers advice on Spanish legislation in matters of housing, consumption, family and labour law or driving. • TRAVEL ASSISTANCE If the Línea Directa customer is a victim of theft outside Spain, the company will provide accommodation in a hotel of up to four stars. • HOME REPAIRS In addition to repairing windscreens at the customer’s home, Línea Directa also offers to collect and deliver the

car to one of its network repairers, and acts as an intermediary in any matter relating to the repair process. • FINE MANAGEMENT This service offers the customers advice on traffic fines in their own language, as well as notifying them on the official state bulletins, a benefit

specially designed for expatriates. And now home insurance too. Línea Directa offers an exclusive Premium policy designed for foreign residents in Spain, which apart from offering the best cover on the market, also offers customer service in English. For more information: 902 123 104

Making funeral arrangements for when you pass away is perhaps one of the most delicate and difficult things to do. As with many things in Spain though, the procedure here when you pass on is substantially different to the UK and it pays to plan things in advance. One of the peculiarities of the Spanish system is the frequent requirement of the Funeral Director to be paid in advance; in fact very often they require payment when collecting the body. As you can imagine this places a huge emotional and financial strain on your partner or loved one. So it makes sense to plan things in advance – and this is where Iberian Funeral Plans come in. With Iberian you can pre-arrange and pre-pay for your funeral. This removes the financial stress from those who are left behind when you pass away, and also means you get exactly the send off you want for your final journey. If you would like to know more information, please contact Iberian on: (+34) 965 993 498, or email them on: Their website is:



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Can disinherited parents force a claim in Spanish law? by

Carlos Baos

of White & Baos Abogados English & Spanish Solicitors

HELLO, I am a British citizen and a Spanish close friend of mine who has unfortunately passed away has appointed me in his Will as the sole and only beneficiary. He also stated in the Will that he did not want his parents to inherit as they had treated him badly throughout his life and had never been concerned about his health or wellbeing etc. Unfortunately he passed away (leaving no wife or children) and his parents are claiming their inheritance rights as parents. What can I do? Do they really have the right to inherit no matter what the Will states? Dear Madam, Thank you for your consultation. From what you describe in your query, your Spanish friend has disinherited his parents and appointed you as the sole universal heir of his assets; therefore we must verify if the disinheritance is in line with what is set out in article 848 and

the subsequent clauses of the Spanish Civil Code (CC). First of all you should know that article 809 of the Spanish Civil Code states that when the Spanish Law is applicable to the succession (as indeed is the case here, since the deceased was a Spanish national) the parents or ascendants (as long as the deceased leaves no children or spouse) shall be legitimately entitled to half of the estate that his children or descendants would have inherited. They can only lose this legitimate right if the disinheritance is done correctly; by any of the causes expressly specified by law, and only if it is stated in the Will as in this case. You should also know that if the disinherited parents deny the cause for their disinheritance, you as the heiress will have to prove the reason on which the disinheritance is based to be true, before the appropriate judge. Article 854 of the CC states that in order to be able to disinherit parents and ascendants the just and reasonable causes will be, amongst others, the following: • Abandonment, corruption or prostitution of their children. • Having been convicted in a trial of an attempt(s) against the life of the testator, his spouse, descendants or ascendants. • Having lost their parental authority as ruled by a Court order, based on the breach of inherent duties or as a consequence of a criminal or matrimonial proceeding.

• Refused to feed his children or descendants without a legitimate reason. As long as the cause for disinheritance is the same as one of the reasons set out in the Spanish CC, the disinheritance will be possible and you will be able to inherit as designated in the Will. On the other hand, if the disinherited are not in agreement with the reason for their disinheritance and initiate a legal Court proceeding; in the event that the Judge rules that the reason given for the disinheritance is not true (remember that you will have to prove that it is), then as per the article 851 of the CC; your appointment as heir will be voided, when detrimental to the disinherited. However the legacies and other testamentary dispositions (i.e. gifts etc) will remain valid as long as they do not harm the legitimate rights. Should any reader be in this situation or similar please do not hesitate to contact us and the appropriate advice will be provided. The information provided in this article is not intended to be legal advice, but merely conveys general information related to legal issues. We kindly invite you to visit and comment about this article in our blog at and facebook (White-Baos-Abogados-Solicitors) your comments in this respect will be greatly appreciated.

Carlos Baos (Lawyer) © White & Baos Abogados 2012 - All rights reserved. C/Diana 19, 2º-D, 03700 Dénia (located 1 minute away from the La Via underground car park). Tel: 966 426 185. Send your questions to or This article is available in English and Spanish at The information provided in this article is not intended to be legal advice, but merely conveys general information related to legal issues. Visit our blog at and Facebook (White-Baos-Abogados-Solicitors)



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Sabadell to recover 60% of CAM deposits BANCO SABADELL claims it will recover 60% of CAM Bank deposits within a year. The Director General of Operation

of Banco Sabadell, Miguel Montes, says he is confident that the integrated network with its 600 branches in Valencia, Murcia and the Canaries will be up to strength in less than one year. He added that more than €3,000 million in investment will provide financing for companies, public institutions and families. When asked about job cuts, Montes said that in the process of integration redundancies were inevitable but every effort would be made to work closely with unions for a satisfactory outcome.

Excuses by

Suzanne O’Connell Customer Care at Ábaco

WHAT EXCUSES did you use at school for not doing your homework? The dog ate it? The electricity meter ran out? Your orange juice leaked? Or did you invent something much more weird and wonderful? Ask any teacher and it’s likely they have a repertoire of tall stories they’ve collected over the years. Whatever your occupation you’ve probably acquired a range of ‘excuses’ from people that would rival Shakespeare for originality and ingenuity. If you work in insurance you must come across some particularly colourful examples. In fact, if you’ve got time to spare some of the excuses on this website view/568/insurance-excuses.html tickled me. I’ve picked out this example: A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were: Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo The requirement to pay taxes tends to draw out people’s creative side too. We hear many different excuses for why people don’t pay their taxes in Spain. They’re not perhaps as amusing as some entered on insurance claims but they reflect the way in which people can convince themselves that they are immune from the laws that apply to everyone else. Below we’ve compiled some of the excuses we hear regularly with our answers to them: Tax is deducted from my pension in the UK

This is only permissible for particular types of crown service pension e.g. armed forces, regional government, central and local government. For all other forms of income including pensions (private and state), interest, stocks and shares, there is a strong likelihood that you will be obliged to declare tax in Spain. I spend the majority of the year in Spain but it is cheaper for me to pay my taxes in the UK. Where you pay your taxes is not a matter of choice. If you live in Spain for more than 183 days then you must pay your taxes here unless it is a crown service pension. Bill at the Pink Bull said that you only have to pay tax in Spain if your income is more than 22,000€ per year. Do you believe everything that Bill tells you? There are so many misleading stories out there. The 22,000€ threshold is only for those people who are employed in Spain and only have one employer with tax deducted at source. For those receiving pensions, interest, gains or losses in stocks and shares and any rental income this is classed as your worldwide income and the 22,000€ threshold does not apply. Nobody else I know pays taxes in Spain so why should I? Where do you start. It’s an obligation to pay your contribution for the services you receive, wherever you live. We shouldn’t have to use the threat of sanctions, but we will. The Tax Authority are increasingly vigilant. They have sent letters to residents and non-residents who have not made a tax declaration since 2007. They want to know why and will be investigating those who don’t come up with a justifiable reason. Excuses won’t do.



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Safetynetstrengthenseuro EUROPE’S NEW “firewall” for the troubled euro has brought stability and confidence back to the single currency after the fears of its imminent collapse over the winter. by Jack Troughton Eurozone leaders have poured oil on the troubled waters of the currency markets by promising the launch of the European Stability Mechanism in 2013 – and a minimum pool of 700 billion euros of ‘guarantees’. And while recession haunts the member states of the single currency, Britain’s growth prospects are pegged back by the financial pressures on one of its biggest export markets – the Eurozone. Over the past month, sterling has moved in a typical range of 1.18 to 1.21 in value against the euro. Market analyst David Kerns – who is also Dealing Manager for private clients at foreign exchange specialist Moneycorp – does not expect any great movement in exchange rates in the coming weeks. “Moving forward, the Eurozone is stable. UK growth prospects are ahead of those of the Eurozone so perhaps we could see sterling move ahead but I do not think it will be as high as 1.25,” he told RTN. CALM “It will be fortunate for the pound to get to 1.22 against the euro in the near term but it only takes a wobble in the UK and everything could change slightly but we seem to remain in the current range. Things have calmed down.” David said European leaders were “determined” to keep the single currency and “muddle through”, but added: “We have

moved on from the dark hours and I am sure the euro will survive.” He said the UK had avoided a double dip recession and it was likely figures for the first quarter would show growth at around 0.5%, increasing to possibly 0.9% over the year – and had crucially maintained its AAA credit rating. “A reason for weakness in the UK economy is that the Eurozone is one of the major trading partners and it is in an awkward position with most of the 17 member nations in recession,” said David. “Therefore, big part of the export market has a distinct lack of demand for UK products, which is bringing down our growth.” Also holding back growth is the “major hindrance” of unemployment – a common factor across the EU – with inroads unlikely to be made to cut the dole queue until next year. DEFICIT David said the further cuts in public sector jobs stretching to 2015 would make the position worse but the Coalition Government was seen to be doing well with austerity measures and reducing its borrowing deficit. Across the Channel, he said Greece had received both its bail out cash and “walked away” from 105 billion euros of debt following the much publicised ‘haircut’ being accepted by lenders and a debt swap. And David explained next year the new European Stability Mechanism would be launched, initially with 700 billion euros available in guarantees.

Moneycorp’s David Kerns

“It is a firewall and safety net of EU subsidies. In all likelihood they are guarantees that will not be called upon but purely by having the safety net in the background adds to greater confidence and greater confidence means the euro will continue to exist.” He said Eurozone economies were really struggling and even the powerhouses of Germany and France were hurting. “Greece is still in a terrible position – the single currency woes have not disappeared but the fact there is this big firewall allows everyone to feel more confident. “Things are fairly stable and calm and to have that firepower in the background is seen as stabilising, so Eurozone governments can focus on austerity cuts, raising taxes, and changing labour laws.”


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


Executors and SpanishWills by

Michael Olmer

Solicitor, Link Point Legal and Business Services

ENGLISH AND IRISH clients who come to us to make Spanish Wills often ask us about appointing executors. It is less common to appoint executors in Spanish Wills than in English Wills and the powers of executors are much more limited in Spain than in England. It is normally the beneficiaries under a Will who have the job of winding up the estate. A testator may appoint one or more executors if they have no immediate family who can carry out this task. It is not necessary for an Executor to be physically present in Spain as they can appoint a representative under a Power of Attorney which can be signed before a Notary outside Spain. However, they do have to obtain their own NIE number which they must be apply for in person at a Spanish consulate, if they are unable to do so in Spain itself. There is no maximum number of executors. Please note that from the beginning of this year the foreigner’s office have been marking the certificates of NIE numbers with a note stating that the certificate

is only valid for a period of 3 months, although the number itself is permanent. The role of the Executor in Spain is set out in articles 892 to 911 of the Civil Codeis to realize the assets in the estate, pay any outstanding debts of the deceased, distribute the estate to the beneficiaries, and produce estate accounts. An executor is not entitled to take physical possession of the assets in the estate. In Spain, the beneficiaries themselves must formally accept their legacy by signing a deed before a Notary, again they can appoint a representative by Power of Attorney to this on their behalf. An executor must actively accept their appointment by signing a deed in front of a Notary, and if they do not want to act they are not obliged to, as it can be a time consuming and burdensome job. The job of winding up the estate must be completed within one year of accepting their appointment, unless the testator has specified a longer period in their Will. If a Spanish Will nominates executors but they do not accept their appointment, the beneficiaries of an estate can step in and take over the administration of the estate.

Unless the Will specifies that the executor is entitled to be paid for their work they must perform their duties free of charge. It is not the custom to specify that an executor should receive a fee of any kind for their work. Occasionally, a vulnerable testator may be put under pressure to appoint a particular person as executor in their Will and specify that they should receive a percentage of the estate in return for accepting the appointment, if they are a professional person this may be

in addition to the fee that they would normally charge. In extreme cases this can be an abusive practice. If you have made a Spanish Will and have nominated an executor but no longer wish them to act, it is always open to you to make a new Will, and either appoint a new executor or simply leave it to the beneficiaries to administer your estate. If you have any doubts about the terms of an existing Spanish Will or want to make a new Will please contact us at Linkpoint.

Calle Andromeda 24, 03581 Albir - Alfaz del PĂ­, Alicante. Email: Web: Tel: 96 626 0500 Fax: 96 686 52 77

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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

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Solar energy: save even more money this month with Solar Energy Pool Heating For most people the swimming season here in Spain does not extend beyond June, July and August, but would you like to extend the season to seven months of the year instead of just three? SOLAR IN Spain can provide a solar energy pool heating system this swimming season and as an added bonus the company will install the system for free if installed before the end of April 2012. This offer gives you a saving of more than 500€. How does a solar pool heating system work? The Solmate solar pool heating system by Solar in Spain is fully automated. It has two temperature sensors and when there is a temperature differential between the water in the solar panels and the water in the pool the system switches on. The pool water is pumped around the panels for heating and then returned to the pool. This

cycle is continued until the pool reaches its desired temperature. It really is that simple. The Solmate system uses a direct flow method so no heat exchanger or expansion vessel is required. Solar panels can be ugly: Can the system blend in with my property? It is important to locate the panels as close as possible to a Southerly direction. The roof of a property is an obvious place for the panels and Solmate panels are available in either black or terracotta. However, your house roof is not the only place for the panels. Solar panels are regularly used as the roofs of carports and pergolas. In this way, not only is your pool being heated but at the same time the panels are providing shade. The panels can also be sited on a frame structure on the ground. How much warmer will my solar heated pool be? The swimming season in a solar heated pool starts in late March and runs until late October.

In the shoulder months of March, April, May, September and October a solar heated pool can increase the pool water temperature by 5º to 6º. If a pool cover is used in conjunction with a solar pool heating system then the temperature difference can be as much as 8º-10º. As well as extending your swimming season a solar energy pool heating system will not break the bank. A Solmate system will cost less than a good quality heat pump. It is guaranteed for 10 years and has a life expectancy in excess of 25 years. It really is the only way to heat your pool here in Spain. This fantastic offer is only available until 30th April 2012. For more information, please contact Solar in Spain on 96 285 4488 or email us at Visit or our showrooms in Pedreguer and Urb. La Finca, Algorfa. - Solar in Spain is sponsoring the Javea Bowls Club Easter Triples Competition on 5th-7th April at The Inn On The Green, Javea.

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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Propagate your own plants by

Clodagh & Dick Handscombe Practical gardeners and authors

AS OF tomorrow Dick will have had fun growing plants from cuttings or seeds for seventy years, having had a personal mini garden and mini tools for his fifth birthday. Clodagh started a decade later but for both the self-propagation of plants is an interesting and fascinating hobby and economic way of producing new plants. Try it yourself, especially in hard economic times, whether living in an apartment or villa. Luckily the warmer Spanish climate makes some propagation easier than it was in Northern Europe, and in many areas without a greenhouse. Much of our garden was planted from our own plants raised from cuttings or seeds from our own or friends’ gardens. The cost of buying each plant from a garden centre would have been astronomic and we have some plants that are often not readily available. We therefore review a number of practical ways of propagating and indicate what can be produced with relative ease by each method. SPLITTING OF MATURE ROOT BALLS - The easiest propagating method is to split large root clumps in the autumn or spring. This can be done with a wide range of perennials including herbs such as chives and marjoram, vegetables such as asparagus, bulbs such as agapanthus and tulbaghias, flowering plants such as sages, leonotis and gazanias... ROOT CUTTINGS - New plants of herbs such as mint and thyme and rhizomes such as irises can be produced by cutting off

and planting up a short length of a healthy strong root without the need for any top growth. LEAF CUTTINGS - Pot plants such as epiphyllum, kalanchoes, echeveria and streptocarpus can be raised this way. Remove any healthy young leaf and pin the leaf down on the surface of the soil in a plant pot or sink one edge of the leaf into the soil. STEM CUTTINGS - This is probably the most popular method used by both amateur gardeners and commercial growers for the reproduction of shrubs. Try it with oleanders, roses, grape vines, bougainvilleas, solanums, lantanas, hibiscus, bignonias and many succulents. The cuttings can be rooted by planting up in pots or directly into a flower bed or special nursery corner of the garden. Rooting can be stimulated by dipping the cut ends of cuttings in rooting powder before inserting them into the potting compost. For roses a useful Spanish trick is to cut a two centimetre slit in the end of each cutting and then inserting a dried sweet corn seed in the slit before planting the cutting. REMOVING RUNNERS OR BABY PLANTS - Some plants develop runners with small rooted plants on the ends. Strawberries, raspberries, spider plants and aloes are easily multiplied in this way. LAYERING - Many ground cover plants and shrubs with low branches can be multiplied in this way. Just peg a branch to the ground and cover the pegged area under a heap of earth for six months. When there is a good root ball cut off the rooted branch and plant up. AIR LAYERING - This slightly more difficult method can be easily used to produce new rubber tree or Solandra plants. Make a slit in a healthy branch and then seal it within a plastic sleeve of dampened moss or potting compost. When a good root ball has developed, cut through the branch below and plant up the new plant. GRAFTING - Many fruit trees, roses and acacias are produced in this way. A cutting of the desired cultivar is inserted into cuts in a suitable host rootstock just before the sap rises in the spring.

Clodagh and Dick’s instructive books are available to help you achieve a great garden from scratch or improve an existing garden. You will find them in bookshops including Bookworld, Carrefor and Humpty Dumpty. For convenience many internet bookshops stock them including Santana Books, Amazon UK, Bookworld and The Royal Horticultural Society. © Clodagh and Dick Handscombe

Home & Garden

Unfortunately the several methods involved require a little practice but at the second or third attempt you may create an orange tree that also has branches of lemons and grapefruits. PROBLEMS THAT CAN OCCUR - Although most of the above methods are easy for any keen gardener there are a number of potential problems. However, the following actions can minimise them. Firstly, stem and leaf cuttings inserted in pots of compost can dry out. The best way of preventing this is to place a pot of cuttings inside a clear or semi opaque plastic bag and then blow up and seal the bag. The cuttings can be left in this microclimate until strong new growth is observed. Secondly, cuttings can rot off. The chance and extent of this can be minimised by washing and sterilising plant pots, sterilising the potting compost on a tray in an oven, adding sand or fine grit to the potting compost to achieve good drainage, adding a few drops of a fungicide to the watering can or spray before watering cuttings when first planted and when subsequently required. Thirdly, don’t be tempted to plant new plants too early. Be patient and wait until there are signs of a good root ball and the weather has warmed up in the spring. Then harden them off for a few days in the sun before finally planting in the garden or in pots. FROM SEED - And lastly, one can propagate from seed, either from packets of seed or from seed saved from plants in your garden. The advantages include being able to tap into specialist seed catalogues that include many seeds of varieties of plants rarely available from nurseries or in the case of vegetables heritage or heirloom seeds no longer or never available commercially. Unfortunately, growing from seeds is a topic too long for this month’s column. However it is thoroughly covered in section six of our book ‘Your Garden in Spain – Planning, planting and maintenance’. If you have never tried to propagate, have a go this summer and autumn. Naturally if you are in an inland frost a warm greenhouse or conservatory is helpful during the winter months.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Fig trees rejuvenate the coastline

REPRESENTATIVES OF the Pilar de la Horadada Town Hall accompanied the Mayor, Jose Fidel Ros, planting 30 fig trees by the Higuericas beach in the municipality last weekend. The mile long stretch of land where the trees were planted is a strip of dunes and vegetation that separates the beach from the urban area. The tree planting event was organised to coincide with the commencement of a project to recover the coastline environment of one of the most emblematic beaches in the municipality; one which for nearly 40 years, has not seen any of these indigenous trees growing on there. During the event everyone worked together highlighting the assistance and cooperation of many of the municipality’s residents who participated. The project, which is being carried by the Pilar Town Hall’s Departments of the Environment, Public Works and Services, includes the clearing of the invasive reeds and other weeds.

Home & Garden

Residents and Town Hall officials plant fig trees in Pilar de la Horadada

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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


This is Spain Exhibitions

19th and 20th May at Hotel El Diamante Beach Calpe

The exhibition last year

THIS IS Spain Exhibitions is delighted to be returning to the Costa Blanca North19th and 20th May, this time at the 4 star Hotel El Diamante Beach in Calpe. This is a new venue for the exhibition, previously held in Albir. Along Calpe’s Levante Beach, the hotel has easy access from the A7 motorway (from Valencia exit 63 (Benissa/Calpe) and from Alicante exit 64 (Altea/Calpe) or the N332 (exit Calpe Norte and follow the road towards Moraira) and is close to Calpe’s famous Ifach Rock. The event will be open to the public from 10am until 6pm on Saturday and 10am to 5pm on Sunday. The hotel has ample parking. See www.hotel-diamante-calpe. com/en/ for further information. The main sponsors of the event will be RTN; Female Focus; Costa Blanca News; The Post; AngloINFO; Euro Weekly News and Spectrum FM: The Exhibitions will also be well publicised within the Dutch, German and Scandinavian communities. Additonally, 30,000 leaflets will be distributed within the surrounding area as well as other media promotion. If you would like to promote your business within these leaflets, please contact Christine by Wednesday 11th April. Should you not wish to take a stand it is still possible to take

Bookings are now being taken

advantage of this opportunity. It will also be possible to advertise your business with your own leaflets at the exhibition. We are able to offer a service of distributing 1,000 leaflets, which will be placed in carrier bags and given to the public at the exhibition reception desk, at a cost of 25€ for exhibitors or 50€ should you not be taking a stand. This Is Spain Exhibitions is always keen to welcome and promote new businesses, adding to all the stands that you would normally expect to find at one of our exhibitions. Charities will also be represented. Entertainment will take place in the bar area, opposite the hotel reception area. Included in the 1€ entry fee will be a free ticket for the Raffle, always a popular event at the This Is Spain Exhibitions. Bookings are now being taken but, with the number within each category limited, they are on a ‘first come, first served’ basis. This is for the benefit of exhibitors and the public alike. For more information, and to book your stand, call Christine Roche on 699 549 261 or 965 632 835 or email her at Also, see the website at for regular updates.


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life people Great Offer for final night of Abba and Carpenters tour

Final show of the tour - Friday 30th March at Santa Pola Life Resort, Gran Alacant Buy 4 Tickets - Pay for 3 (One ticket FREE = 25% off) Jukebox Promotions offer to celebrate our first show at the venue and the end of a great tour. The show stars Jackie Whyte as Karen Carpenter + Fiona McLean (from Jukebox Legends) and Jackie Whyte as The Abba Girls. The show will also feature a fantastic Abba sing-along and be supported by Jukebox Legends. Tickets are available at the venue, tel 966 619 010 Ticket info line is 695 135 134 Friday 30th - Santa Pola Life Resort, Gran Alacant, (theatre style - Tickets 8.50 €) This tour is fund raising for Help at Home (Costa Blanca)

Costa Blanca Writers Bookcase THIS MONTH we spotlight Dick Handscombe, well known with his wife Clodagh for a series of seven gardening books and some thousand gardening and travel articles since 1998, particularly the weekly gardening column in RTN and previously CBN. Indeed their first book Practical Gardening on the Costa Blanca was published on their wedding day back in 2001 when they wrote for CBN. What is less known is that Dick in fact started writing articles and books back in the early seventies, then as Richard Handscombe if you search the book lists by author at Amazon etc. His books in his own name started with ‘The Bankers Handbook’ and the last was ‘Living well from our Mediterranean garden’. Sole and joint authored books now total 15. Unfortunately, Clodagh is now less enchanted with writing but Dick continues to find it a relaxing way to spend the early and late hours of the day or when on long journeys when the brain seems to be most active. At present he is on a mad three week train journey to and from friends and family in the UK from Gandia and travelling via Valencia Barcelona Paris London and Brighton etc., but returning via Brussels and Avignon where he gives a talk to the French branch of the Mediterranean Gardening Society. Perhaps there’s a story in the journey? Dick had his 75th birthday yesterday and also celebrated 70 years of gardening since he started

Jill Launchbery

Colin Hall

his first garden in a mound of soil created when an unexploded bomb was removed from his parents’ west London garden. He has the ambition to publish a further five books of various types over the next five years before hanging up his writing shoes. In the first place these are likely to be eBooks once the necessary computer systems are mastered: one of the reasons for joining the Costa Blanca Writers group was to learn from authors who had already done so. Dick’s most recent book ‘Living Well from Our Mediterranean Garden’, ISBN 978-84-615-38256, has been received enthusiastically by a widely spread international readership. The book shares his experience of being able to recover from cancer operations and live well with Clodagh from an emergent holistic Mediterranean style garden developed over the past twenty five years - a garden planted with many useful edible herbs, flowers, fruit, vegetables and trees with space under trees for eco egg-laying hens. What is good and bad eating; the original Mediterranean diet; and the difference between gluttonous and gastronomic eating are all explored as well as listing/describing the eco garden foods that Clodagh and Dick have found beneficial in enabling an active outdoor lifestyle. It was stimulated by a talk Dick and Clodagh gave a few years ago to a U3A conference at the Javea Parador on ‘Health for the over fifties’.

Dick Handscombe

Agnes Hall

Indeed all Dick’s books have been preceded by a previously published article or talk so you can guess what the next book will be about. Tell Dick your forecast in the next month via If you are correct he will send you a free copy of the book when published… Details of the book will be found on which also offers a free copy of ‘Living Well from our Mediterranean Garden’ if you buy one of the earlier gardening books. Copies will also be found in Humpty Dumpty and Bookworld. Details of Dick’s writings and those of the other members of the Costa Blanca Writers Group will be found on The next member to contribute to the Costa Blanca Writers Bookcase will be Keith Giddes.

Keith Geddes

Michael Hillier


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life spanish

Basic Spanish for everyday needs by Jane Cronin

Blogs about Spanish IT’S TIME for a new series of articles, and this time we have a series of blogs that have been appearing over recent months

The Titanic Tweets Tony Blackburn@tonyblackburn : That’s incredible, they’ve hit the iceberg after only 40 minutes, it’s going to take three weeks to sink

in my blog which you can also get to via the homepage of my website. They come under various categories such as “false friends” “favourite sayings” “Spanish society” and so on. I hope you enjoy them.

Professor Green@professorgreen : i’m guessing by my timeline that titanic is on. i’m guessing there won’t be a second series...

NO WAY! One of the most unexpected “false friends” I know of is one of the expressions meaning “not at all” or “no way”. It is “en absoluto”. I know it looks like “absolutely” but it isn’t – it means the opposite. Not so much a false friend as a highly deceitful friend. “¿Me creéis?” “En absoluto”. “Do you believe me?” “No way”. Well, I’m telling you the truth! INSIDE OUT – BACK TO FRONT This is one for people who think that Spanish is a more difficult language than English. How do we say in Spanish – “inside out”, “upside down” “the wrong way round” and “back to front” ??? They are ALL translated by one expression – “al revés”. You try teaching someone Spanish how to say ”al revés” in English and see how you get on! THE BULL THAT’S PASSED I’ve read this saying twice in the last few days – “a toro pasado”. It means “in hindsight” and in both contexts it was used in response to people criticising the PSOE presidential candidate, accusing him of promising to do things that he could have done already. In his defence, it was said that it is easy to make these comments “a toro pasado” – in hindsight – once the bull has gone past. I would have thought there is one significant but rather important difference between “hindsight” and a bull that has passed. In my limited

knowledge of bullfighting, the bull is inclined to turn round and have another go at you from another angle. IMPORTANT DATES IN SPAIN You have probably seen these abbreviations in newspapers and on the TV and perhaps wondered what they mean: 23F, 11M and more recently 15M. These all stand for significant dates usually in recent memory. 23F (23rd February) was the attempted military coup which was staged in 1981. 11M (11th March 2004) was the date of the Madrid train bombings; 15M (15th May 2011) was the date that the movement of “Indignados” started in the Puerta de Sol in Madrid. Which brings us to 20N (20th November 2011) the last general election. This particular combination of letters is highly significant as 20N was the date that Franco died in 1975, and going even further back, the date of the death of the Falange leader (and Franco’s ideological mentor) José Antonio Primo de Rivera in 1936 after the outbreak of the civil war. All of these days and abbreviations are full of resonance for the Spanish, which explains why one newspaper dubbed the election date “las elecciones generalísimas”. A CAGED CAT I’ve just come across a saying which is the Spanish equivalent of “there’s something fishy going on here” which is “Aquí hay gato encerrado” (literally translated - “There’s a locked up cat here” or “Here’s a caged cat” …) Well, “There’s something fishy …” makes sense if you think about a suspicious smell, but then why is it that we “let the cat out of the bag”? That thought leads to me find out the Spanish equivalent of “let the cat out of the bag” and it turns out to be “descubrir el pastel” – “to uncover the cake”. I am now officially confused.

The Criticism Kevin Doyle@Kevin_Doyle29 : Roy Hodgson removing his black armband and throwing it on the ground in anger during the Newcastle game was disrespectful... The Statement Frankie Cocozza@FrankieCocozza : One day your life will flash before your eyes, it’s on you to make it worth watching The Funny Tweets ben shephard@benshephard : Beyond excited the Harry Potter Warner bros tour - not sure whos more beside themselves me and the wife or the boys! Frankie Boyle@frankieboyle : Let’s hope this roads thing goes as well as Rail privatisation, so that in 10 years time we’ll struggle to even get a seat in our own cars. Keith Duffy@officialkeith : I think it would be fantastic to actually see a great white shark before I die. Just not RIGHT before. Ricky Gervais@rickygervais : “There must be something better to do than just running after stuff and chewing it” #thingsdogsneversay

Life books

Danny Collins -

The Fifth Witness MICHAEL CONNELLY is a former police reporter for the Los Angeles Times so one can assume he’s seen the familiar motivations of lust for power, envy, and corruption at work in real time but Connelly is also a creator of the master plot. This talent, coupled with experience, produces some of the most thrilling courtroom dramas in print. The Fifth Witness is further proof that this author can do no wrong. In the current economic climate his hero, defence lawyer Mike, aka Mickey, Haller is kept busy fighting banks eager to repossess clients’ property. It appears that no one needs a criminal defence lawyer – until one client is arrested for the murder of the CEO of her mortgaging bank. While your sympathy may be roused – who wouldn’t murder a banker given the opportunity? – follow Mickey as he pieces together a legal defence to save his client. The result is a clever thriller with a brilliant double twist but it is also an in depth examination of the difference between natural justice – the sort that prompts us to shoot child murderers – and the law. Connelly is 100% addictive.

Suduko Answer

Author: Michael Connelly Publisher: Orion (paperback) Price: 10.40€ ISBN: 978 1 4091 1833 6

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life food


Food Consultant Edwin Cheeseman

What a boar

FOOD EXHIBITION visits are a necessary evil for most chefs and foodies in general with a mixture of seasoned exhibitors who have been going to the same place for years and a few first timers. Regulars find themselves stuck in the loop of having, rather than wanting to attend, just in case it looks as if they are in financial trouble to their customers if they’re missing. Newcomers generally look uncomfortable waiting for the visitors to pass judgement on their new product or idea. There is usually a heady mix of furnishings, kitchen equipment, cookware, advertising companies and, of course, the food. Now whilst I am able to eat just about anything and constantly try new and strange products, green chocolate cheese is something I will happily not try again. On one particular visit to a show I came across a man standing in the centre of a small but stable enclosure which contained three piglets and some straw. I simply asked if the barriers were to protect the piglets from the public, you know, with so many chefs about or the public from the piglets. Sam introduced himself and said that these were indeed a feisty bunch of Eldon Blues, a mix of Hampshire hog crossed with a wild boar. He said that these tasted especially good because of their diet but had a penchant for escaping and had spent many a night searching around his farm for regular escapees. “So they are what they eat,” I enquired, “What about if they were fed on garlic, would the meat taste of it?” “No idea” he said, but it’s an interesting suggestion and probably worth finding out. Fast forward a few months and the first garlic-fed Eldon Blue

arrived on our doorstep to try along with the findings from the farm. It turns out that grade 3 garlic, from the Isle of White had been mixed with the normal feed which the animals seemed to enjoy. The garlic had not only a beneficial medicinal effect but had slowed their heart rate, effectively calming the animals down. In fact no escapees had been reported for some weeks. The effect on the taste and texture was also amazing as there was a possibility it could taste rancid or horrid. Not only was the texture tender enabling us to steak all of the cuts but the taste was exceptional with a slight garlic aftertaste. Not only did we sell all he was able to produce but the resulting sausages won a prestigious pork product of the year award. When disclosing the recipe the judges were told the sausages contained salt, pepper and pig, and nothing else. Unfortunately anything crossed with a dangerous animal, including wild boar is still considered dangerous, even if they have been fed garlic, and is therefore subject to strict rules and regulations relating to dangerous animals. This included prohibitively expensive enclosures with security fencing dug well into the ground. The last I heard Sam had headed off to Australia with a head full of new ideas and we were left a little worse off still searching for anything that could rival the Eldon Blue experiment. Now I’m off to make the mother-in-law a garlic sandwich…

If you have a question about food email

Big Party ON MONDAY 30th of April, The Dutch companies of Benimar are to host ‘Big Party’. The event will start at 11am continue until late, in the park between Benijofar and urbanisation Benimar. Although the day celebrates the Dutch ‘Queensday’, it will be an international occasion with live music throughout the day with many artists such as Suzy G, Nick Gold, Bella Luna, Dzire, Andy de Witt, Benny, Eddy C, Duo for You and me and Emgert. There is also to be a carboot sale where you can sell your second hand goods or find great bargains. A variety of companies will be represented, so if you need a new satellite system or if you´re looking for a pool maintenance company then you might find one at the commercial market. Of course there is no party without delicious refreshments, to be provided all day by, Café De Toppers, El Mundo, The Dutch Butcher, Snackbar Los Dos and Plaza Differente. For the kids there are various games and there will be a big lottery draw with lots of fine prizes such as dinner cheques; bottles of wine and meat vouchers. The benefits of this lottery will be donated to the orphaned children of Benijofar. If you run your own business there is still time to book a space at little cost. For more information contact Silvia on 634 350 995 or email To reserve a free space to sell second hand goods please contact us. Free spaces are only meant for private individuals with second hand goods. Traders can book a paid space. (Not food).


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life fashion

Louise Brandley Looking Good Boutique

Wardrobe malfunctions MANY OF us open our wardrobe doors each morning only to be reminded of the fashion blunders we have made. Items that we will never wear, never fit into, or should never be seen wearing in public hang in our ‘wardrobes of shame’ - they seemed such a bargain in the shop… or worse, we were persuaded to buy by the pushy, overbearing sales assistant. The monetary cost of these blunders can run into hundreds of euros and all of us are guilty of making these mistakes. There has never been a better time to maximise what you already own and recycle items deemed ‘never to be worn’. Choices we make, especially in these testing times financially, are really important. For the garment you seem unable to match, or the dress that needs a jacket/ bolero, ask for help. I am always thrilled if I can match up your garment and not all of our stock is on the shop floor so by not asking you could miss out. When adding new items to your wardrobe invest in really good basic pieces: you really do get what you pay for. To work out value for money,

calculate a ‘yearly cost’: I wear Joseph Ribkoff trousers to work and have done for many years. They are easy-care - I machine wash them before hanging them on a chair overnight with no ironing - they are ready to wear again the next morning - my kind of trousers at around 125€. I have worn them for 6 or 7 years and they still look great, making the yearly cost a thrifty 20€. An investment in something that you truly love also represents good value for money: a jacket that you know you are going to love to wear for years to come is a much smarter choice than one from a high street chain. The extra paid at the till will be returned tenfold when you are still receiving admiring glances. More importantly, when we love something we not only look good but feel good too.

ASK FOR AN OPINION In my boutique we try to offer good advice: I would rather you walk out with nothing than with something you are

going to hate when you get home. If we feel that there are more flattering shapes or lengths or colours we always suggest you try them. We cherrypick every garment in Looking Good and hope that our love and passion for elegant fashion is reflected in the ranges and choices we offer. Fashion Police Say: Spring is coming - do NOT get your crocs out for wearing in public, they are only to be worn at home and not if your garden is overlooked! Next month: What to wear at weddings.

Shopping in a happy atmosphere By Louise Clarke THE COMMERCE department at the Torrevieja Town Hall, in collaboration with the local businesses association, APYMECO, are in the process of planning a series of events and activities aimed at producing an attractive atmosphere in streets of the city for the benefit of residents, tourists and above all, shoppers. Already a long list of suggestions has been made but the Town Hall has asked for RTN readers to make further suggestions for events and activities. A Spokesman for the Town Hall said: “Some of the ideas already suggested include music and dance in the streets, a type of music competition in which shoppers can participate, an airgolf tournament around the pedestrianised areas, etc. But any other ideas and suggestions that your readers may have would be well received and studied as to their viability.” Ideas should be submitted by email to Graham Knight at by Midnight tonight, 30th March and they will be passed on for consideration. Also any local performers, bands, artists etc. are also invited to take up the offer of showing off their talents in the central streets of Torrevieja. Please contact the same email address if you are interested. The dates for these events are: • Saturday 21st April from 18.00h to 20.00h. • Saturday 5th and Saturday 19th May (same time) • Saturday 2nd, Saturday 16th and Saturday 30th June (same time) • Saturday 7th and Saturday 21st July (same time)

Outlet fair is back for Easter

By Louise Clarke IT HAS been announced this week that the popular outlet fair will return to Santiago de la Ribera over Easter weekend. Starting on the 5th April until 8th April, the fair will provide a host of stalls selling a myriad of products. The Mayor of San Javier, Juan Martinez, along with the CEO of Trade, Crafts and Consumer Affairs, Mary Dolores Alarcon, the Councillor of Commerce of San Javier, Pedro Lopez and the Presidents of the Merchant Associations in San Javier, Amparo de los Rios and Santiago de la Ribera Ruben Ramos, made the presentation of the Fair at a press conference earlier this week and said that it will be bigger and better than ever before. SURPRISES The outlet fair will contain nearly 50 stalls and will be located on the Barnuevo esplanade in Santiago de la Ribera, right next to the beach and the Mar Menor. The

fair will be open from 10:00 until 21:00 without a break for siesta and will run alongside a programme of entertainment and activities for children. The merchants have promised lots of surprises and above all quality products and attractive prices and they hope that more people than ever will make the trip to the pretty seaside village, which is located within the San Javier municipality. The Councillor for Trade, Pedro Lopez, told RTN: “In addition to the stalls, there will also be two large marquee tents at the fair, one with a puppet show and creative workshops in the morning and a theatre and more workshops in the afternoon. The other will host the ‘Passage of Terror’, a production that has been fully developed by local students and which will open morning and evening.” Last year more than 60,000 people attended the outlet fair and it is hoped that thanks to the additional attractions, even more people will make the effort to visit the event next weekend.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life health


Robert Vandevelede Ex-president Australian Acupuncture & Chinese medicine Association

Chinese medicine and research OVER THE last twenty five years there has been a lot of research on the effects of Acupuncture, Chinese herbs and even disciplines like ‘Qi Gong’. Some of the research tells us the things that we in the Chinese Medicine community want to hear; that it works for a given condition. Other times, the research does not support the time tested approaches that have arrived here from the East. It should be noted, however, that research has also been going on in the East over the past 2,000 years in the form of time testing and the wisdom of the marketplace. There are many therapeutic approaches that have fallen out of favour over the past 2,000 years because they simply did not produce the intended results. In some ways, this long-term approach is actually more scientific than the unnatural short-term placebocontrolled research made famous by the pharmaceutical companies. This kind of research - long-term research - is really closer to economics or Darwinian evolution than biomedicine. Essentially, over the past 2,000 years, the therapies that worked withstood the test of time. If they did not work, we wouldn’t get any patients, colleges would have no students and the

therapy would simply disappear. When we give an Acupuncture treatment that is designed only to stimulate the movement of Qi (energy) in the body, many aches and pains will be ameliorated. When modern Western medicine attempts to determine what to take away the pain they’ll look towards the brain’s release of endorphins, the body’s own painkillers. They’ll take pictures of more active areas of the brain during an Acupuncture treatment; they’ll chemically block certain pain relieving tracts in the spinal cord or on a cell’s surface to see if that effects the Acupuncture treatment. What is really strange for them is that wherever they look, they find something! There is seemingly no end to the scientific mechanism of Acupuncture. I believe that this is consistent with the holistic idea that maintains the coherence of Chinese Medicine. Acupuncture’s effect is not limited to any given system, whether we are talking about the nervous system, cardiovascular, hormonal or any other. Acupuncture affects them all at the same time! Again, that is because Chinese Medicine doesn’t act exclusively on the tiniest of human structures, but the larger whole person. Chinese Medicine also has a great deal to offer the Western discipline of internal

Chinese practices have proven themselves by withstanding the test of time

medicine. In fact, a whole lot more than the ‘pain control’ applications that have been accepted over the last 25 years or so in the Western Medical community; bearing in mind that 32 years ago when I started practicing that was even looked at as silly. Hopefully, in another 10 years we will see greater acceptance of Chinese Medicine’s true genius, and that is in the area of internal medicine. Within both Chinese Medicine and Western Medicine there is an enormous amount of

Written by Robert Vandevelde Former President Australian Acupuncture and Chinese medicine Association, Contact him on 660 032 862. Write to me at

time-tested information that has its own logic and usefulness. Both Western and Chinese Medicine have their place. Some believe that the greatest strength of Western Medicine is in its trauma care and the treating of acute conditions, whereas Chinese Medicine excels in the area of chronic conditions and preventative medicine. Using both Western and Chinese Medicine complimentary provides for better clinical outcomes then using either of them separately.


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life health

Another reason to have a beaming smile…. NOW FROM the people at Smile White who have brought you the perfect smile through their revolutionary teeth whitening treatment, here at long last is the perfect answer to help you stop smoking. Many Smile White customers are hardened smokers, with yellowed teeth one of their primary reasons for wanting to have their teeth whitened. Karen and Stuart, the Smile White founders, needed to research the e-cigarettes market to find a solution for these smokers, because, after the teeth whitening treatment, no smoking is allowed for at least two days for the obvious reason that the newly sparkling teeth will be extremely susceptible to smoke and tar staining. After much research Karen and Stuart discovered Halo ecigarettes which are the perfect alternative to the real thing. And feedback from the Smile White clients who are (or more correctly were!) smokers has been phenomenal. “There is no need to tell anyone about how bad real cigarettes are for their health.” says Karen. All our clients are already aware of this since there is no way for anyone to avoid the devastating facts about smoking from the media.” She continues “The first and the most important fact about our e-cigarettes is that by using them everyone can forget about all those carcinogenic substances that were coursing through their body, as absolutely none of these are present in our e-cigarettes. They contain no tar, no

carbon monoxide, and no harmful toxins. Normal tobacco cigarettes have over 4,000 harmful poisons. None of these are found in our e-cigarettes, so even if this is your only reason to try them, it’s a great one!” “Of course there is nicotine because that is the way this device is simulating the effects of a real tobacco cigarette. But without tar and smoke made by combustion, the risks to your health are totally reduced. And while the smoke looks like smoke, it isn’t – it is water vapor which doesn’t feel heavy when you inhale it, and it definitely doesn’t leave the damage on the lungs the way real smoke does.” Stuart remarks “Yes, the benefits of our Smile White Halo ecigarettes are enormous and by far the majority of our teeth whitening clients who are smokers have stayed with them for good. Obviously this is wonderful both for their teeth and their health. “Of course the list of benefits of e-cigarettes over the real thing is gigantic. No risk of setting anything on fire, no cigarette butts, no nasty cigarette smell, no second hand smoke, you can smoke wherever you want - even on a plane, no ashtrays, no burns, and even cheaper insurance.” “But the key benefit on everyone’s mind after the health and the smell side of things is definitely that people will save money” says Karen. “This is a much cheaper way of enjoying a nice smoke. Our e-cigarettes are a much better alternative and will save you money.

Looks like a cigarette, tastes like a cigarette, but isn’t a cigarette

“And the best part is that there is almost no difference in the taste and feel of it, while you get a lot in terms of health, safety and saved money. Everyone who has thought about considering an alternative or a pleasant way to quit should definitely look into these amazing devices and give them a try because they are well worth it. “You look better, feel better and more alive. Many of our clients report having a new ‘lease of life’ through how they look because of their teeth and how much better they feel because of switching to the harmless e-cigarettes. These are just brilliant benefits!” Ready to try one? You should be: you won’t look back. Order your Smile White Halo e-cigarettes from our website or buy them at our teeth whitening salons, or call 610 027 154 for stockists.

Lend them your eyes By Louise Clarke AS REGULAR readers of RTN will be aware, Age Concern Costa Blanca Sur is administering an initiative, organised by Ambigu of the Torrevieja Municipal Library, called Lend me you Eyes. There is a number residential homes around the southern Costa Blanca area and

there are quite a few English speaking residents within those homes, who for one reason or another cannot enjoy the gift of reading to themselves. This initiative will enable registered volunteer readers to visit people in their residential home for one hour or so a week. The request for volunteer

readers is growing all the time and the charity is desperately looking for more people in all local areas. If you would like to help, Age Concern would welcome your involvement as a volunteer reader. Please contact: Age Concern on 966 786 887 or e mail:

Samaritans in Spain needs more volunteers AT A recent branch meeting the Samaritans in Spain welcomed four of seven newly qualified volunteers to the charity following the conclusion of their four week extensive training programme. The charity has continued to grow since its launch in Spain almost four years ago and plans are underway to develop their service further over the coming year. More volunteers are urgently needed to commence training and support SiS in their activities, enabling them to meet the growth targets. SiS has been in operation in since July 2008. They offer free confidential emotional support to all English speaking people throughout Spain seven nights a week from 8pm to midnight and can be contacted on 902 88 35 35. Talking to a qualified Samaritan in complete confidence about any problem they may be experiencing no matter how big or small could help. If you would like to become a member of a committed team of volunteers of SiS, email your interest to to become a listening volunteer or to become a Samaritan supporter, or you can view SiS on


The injuries vary depending on the nature of the sport, but most injuries are common to most sports.

Benijofar Chiropractic Clinic

DrHansC.MadsenD.C.-Memberofthe Danish,Spanish&European ChiropracticAssoc

Common injuries affect;

- Neck - Shoulder (Frozen shoulder) - Elbow (Tennis/Golfers elbow) - Lower back (Discs in the Lumbar region) - Knee (Torn ligaments, torn cartilage) - Ankle (Sprains, Achilles tendon) - Foot (Tendon on the underside of the foot) The trauma of sports injuries can cause damage to the cells that make up the soft tissues. Laser therapy helps reduce both the short term inflammation and long term risks of arthritis. Laser treatment will: 1) Help to strengthen & heal damaged cells 2) Increase the range of movement 3) Help accelerate recovery after injury 4)Can be applied immediately after injury.

Exciting news:

DR. XAVIER DUTEY – HARISPE is joining us after Easter. He is a very well known chiropractor specialising in golf related injuries and has treated some of the big golfing celebrities and travelled the world as a private chiropractor of famous people in the USA, Saudi Arabia, Jordan and England. Dr Hans Christian Madsen is very much looking forward to having a further valued chiropractor join the clinic. Dr. Xavier Dutey – Harispe, is French and speaks fluently Spanish and English. Opening hours: Mon & Wed: 10.00 - 13.30 & 15.00 - 18.00 Tues & Thurs: 15.00 - 18.00 - Fri: 10.00 - 13.30

Tel:966185242/693371616/ CalleFedericoGarciaLorca,No.90L803178,Benijofar(oppositetheCitroenGarage)


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life showbiz goss Rambo: The Pensioner I´VE NEVER been prudish when it comes to the use of certain words, but as this is a family newspaper and all the staff at RTN are regular churchgoers I´ve always made sure I´ve kept it clean, if you know what I mean. Such is the process in the world of showbiz as you well know and censorship has become quite an issue surrounding Sylvester Stallone´s latest movie ´The Expendables 2´. It seems that as hard as Sly´s co-star Chuck Norris tried he couldn’t get him to run with his request to remove all the cursin´ and killin´from the script. Chuck´s plan almost worked mind you as Stallone looked very closely at re-writing the dialogue and dropping the extreme violence to get a PG-13 rating, but sadly in the end he felt that the hussin ´n cussin and the excessive use of tomato ketchup was the route to take. The movie has now been given an ´R´rating which means you will have to be of a certain age to go and see ´The Expendables 2´, and in my opinion you will also have to be of a certain level of brain power to get yourself to sit through close on two hours of yet another slice of an ex-all action hero growing old disgracefully. We love you Sly, and we´ll love you all the more mate if you show us a few of your wrinkles, and mibbe a shot or three of your wee beer belly while you’re at it.

Pretty sticky toffee for Simon MUCH HAS been said over the past week on the business of Tulisa Contothingymajig, the sex tape, and the forgiving side of Simon, but I have here for you a much more interesting story about Simon Cowell, and it’s nothing to do with the X Factory, well not directly connected, but I intend to prove that it is … mi´lud! Last week Simon was interviewed by David Walliams for The Independent and during the chat he said, “I was bought an electric guitar when I was 12, but my guitar teacher beat me up!” Yep! …that’s what he said … then he explained: “My teacher was obviously bored

giving me lessons, and one day I offered him a liquorice toffee but he didn’t answer, so I threw it at him, it hit him in the face and he sort of beat me up, and that was the last guitar lesson I had.” OMG! and this man is let loose on international TV … no wonder he behaves the way he does! What you see when Simon is slagging off young hopefuls is him getting back at his teacher for not accepting the toffee. Simon also admitted in the interview that as a young man he wanted to be a rock musician and closed his talk for The Independent by saying “The toffee throwing incident was the turning point, that’s when I decided I needed to be behind the scenes and not a musician.”… after finding out about this, behind the scenery would be better!


Peter Taylor

Writer and Broadcaster

It’s a goodyear for cakes ITS CURRENTLY a bit of a tough time for Lauren Goodyear, she of TOWIE, in the wake of the fact that her bod has gone up a few sizes of late making her look like a bit of a tubby alongside her fellow chicas on the programme. Lauren was pictured walking along the beach in Miami last week looking rather glum, and I have to say rather chubby-legged, and the accompanying foto of all the other girls looking slim in their Essex tans, over-sized sunglasses and tumbling extensions didn´t help much either. 25-year-old Lauren has been blaming the paparazzi for some weeks now for all her bad press, claiming they are digitally manipulating images of her to portray her in a less than flattering light ... If you have trouble passing the pie shop Lauren you’re gonna get a bit roly poly Babe … Miss Goodyear blasted on Twitter: “Paps need stop editing pics and selling them cos its getting boring now … 2 try n make me look bad … it’s really not interesting!!!’ … on that I agree … a bit like the show really … it’s really not interesting!

Life TV

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


30th March - 4th April

Friday 30th March BBC1 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 The 1952 Show 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Secrets and Words 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Jedward’s Big Adventure 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 12 Again 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Titanic with Len Goodman 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:35 One Night

BBC2 07:00 Childrens TV 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:30 Cloudbabies 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 BBC World News 13:00 A Stitch in Time 14:30 The Weakest Link 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Just a Minute 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Coast 20:30 Mastermind 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners’ World 22:00 Reverse Missionaries 23:00 Twenty Twelve 23:30 Newsnight 24:00 The Review Show 24:45 Weather 24:50 The Year of Living Dangerously

SATURDAY 31st March BBC1

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 13:00 BBC News 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 British Olympic Dreams 14:30 World Olympic Dreams 15:00 Bargain Hunt 16:00 Cash in the Attic 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 Final Score 18:10 BBC News 18:30 A Question of Sport 19:00 Winter Wipeout 20:00 The Voice UK 21:20 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 22:10 Casualty 23:00 BBC News 23:20 Match of the Day 24:45 Football League Show


07:00 Childrens TV 08:30 Dennis & Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 Ultimate Sports Day 10:30 Ultimate Sports Day 11:00 Animals at Work 11:30 My Life 12:00 Hacker Time 12:25 OOglies 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Coast 13:20 Becket 15:45 All for Love 17:10 Flog It! 18:10 Match of the Day Live 20:30 Dad’s Army 21:00 How God Made the English 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Arena 24:00 The Zoo In Winter

Sunday 1st April





E4 07:00 Switched 07:25 One Tree Hill 08:05 Glee 08:45 Ugly Betty 09:45 One Tree Hill 10:35 Scrubs 11:00 Scrubs 11:30 90210 12:25 Desperate Housewives 13:20 Greek 14:20 Scrubs 14:50 Scrubs 15:20 Hollyoaks 15:50 90210 16:40 Glee 17:35 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Desperate Housewives 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Supernanny US 22:00 Independence Day 24:45 World’s Greatest Body Shockers

07:00 Sali Mali 07:05 The Treacle People 07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier 10:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 11:00 The Food Hospital 12:00 You Deserve This House 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 Channel 4 Presents 13:40 Ice Cold in Alex 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:35 Rude Tube 24:40 The Mad Bad Ad Show

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 London: The Inside Story 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Wandering Eye 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Revealed 21:00 Eddie Stobart: T rucks and Trailers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Castle 23:55 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 24:50 Inside Hollywood

07:00 Coronation Street 07:25 Emmerdale 07:50 Emmerdale 08:15 Loose Women 09:10 Judge Judy 09:35 Judge Judy 10:00 Judge Judy 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30 Judge Judy 12:00 Judge Judy 12:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Coronation Street 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Emmerdale 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 19:05 Judge Judy 19:30 All Star Family Fortunes 20:15 You’ve Been Framed! 20:40 Britain’s Got Talent 22:00 American Idol 23:00 The Bourne Identity




07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 The Grid 08:25 FIM World Superbikes 08:50 Channel 4 Presents 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Koko Pop 10:25 The Wanted: Backstage in Brazil 11:00 Charlie’s Angels 11:55 Come Dine with Me 12:55 The Big Bang Theory 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Simpsons 14:25 The Simpsons 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:05 Channel 4 Presents 17:10 Come Dine with Me 19:15 Channel 4 News 19:45 19:50 Avatar 23:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 24:35 Alfie

07:00 Childrens TV 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:15 Holiday Heaven on Earth 11:45 Mirror Mirror: Movie Special 12:15 Police Interceptors 13:15 Revealed 14:15 Battle of Britain 16:50 Operation Daybreak 19:15 5 News Weekend 19:20 NCIS 20:10 NCIS 21:00 NCIS 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 24:50 Inside Hollywood


07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:25 This Morning: Saturday 13:25 Murder, She Wrote 14:25 ITV News and Weather 14:40 A Cinderella Story 16:35 Forever Young 18:25 Granada News and Weather 18:40 ITV News and Weather 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 19:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 20:00 All Star Family Fortunes 21:00 Britain’s Got Talent 22:05 Take Me Out 23:20 ITV News and Weather 23:35 Forgetting Sarah Marshall

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Poms in Paradise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Granada News 23:35 Words of Captain Scott 24:35 When Ali Came to Britain

07:00 Coronation Street 09:05 Emmerdale 12:00 Take Me Out 13:00 Take Me Out: The Gossip 13:45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 14:15 All Star Family Fortunes 15:00 The Cube 16:00 American Idol 17:50 American Idol 18:45 ET the Extra-Terrestrial 21:00 Celebrity Grimefighters 22:05 Britain’s Got More Talent 23:05 The Hot Desk 23:20 Take Me Out: The Gossip 24:05 Celebrity Juice 24:50 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records


07:00 Switched 07:25 Switched 07:45 Switched Up! 08:35 Gok’s Fashion Fix 09:45 Supernanny US 10:40 Supernanny US 11:35 Gok’s Fashion Fix 12:40 Supernanny US 13:35 Supernanny US 14:30 Hollyoaks 17:05 Rules of Engagement 17:35 Scrubs 18:05 Scrubs 18:35 The Big Bang Theory 19:05 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 How I Met Your Mother 20:30 Rules of Engagement 21:00 Rules of Engagement 21:30 Happy Endings 22:00 Broken Arrow 24:10 The Big Bang Theory








07:00 Breakfast 08:35 Match of the Day 10:00 Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 Sunday Politics 14:05 EastEnders 15:55 Bargain Hunt 16:40 Escape to the Country 17:40 Songs of Praise 18:15 Titanic with Len Goodman 18:45 Land Girls 19:30 BBC News 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Room 101: Extra Storage 24:05 The Syndicate

07:00 Childrens TV 08:00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 08:30 Dennis & Gnasher 08:40 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:05 Paradise Cafe 09:30 Wingin’ It 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 4 for Texas 14:20 Ill Met by Moonlight 16:05 The Wind and the Lion 18:00 Flog It! 19:00 TOTP2 20:00 Sandhurst 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 The Falklands Legacy with Max Hastings 23:00 Match of the Day 2 24:00 Twenty Twelve 24:30 Michael Collins

07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Ade in Britain 11:30 May the Best House Win 12:30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:35 You’ve Been Framed! 14:05 Britain’s Got Talent 15:05 Columbo 16:40 Midsomer Murders 18:40 Granada News and Weather 18:55 ITV News 19:10 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 22:00 Titanic 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:15 Perspectives 24:15 Premiership Rugby Union

07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 08:30 Channel 4 Presents 08:35 Sailing 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 11:00 Sunday Brunch 13:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:00 The Simpsons 14:30 The Simpsons 15:00 Addams Family Values 16:45 Aliens in the Attic 18:25 Time Team 19:25 Deal or No Deal 20:25 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Disasters at Sea: Why Ships Sink 22:00 Homeland 23:10 Sorority Row

07:00 Childrens TV 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 09:55 Milkshake! Show Songs 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:10 Grey’s Anatomy 12:05 Big Body Squad 13:05 Emergency Bikers 14:05 Cowboy Builders 15:00 Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo 16:15 High School Musical 3: Senior Year 18:25 5 News 18:30 Mrs Doubtfire 21:00 Once Upon a Time 22:00 Rush Hour 2 23:40 In Hell

07:00 Gossip Girl 07:50 Emmerdale 10:35 Coronation Street 13:00 Winners & Losers 14:00 Holiday Airport: Palma 15:00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 15:30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 16:00 All Star Family Fortunes 17:00 Dennis 18:55 The Cube 19:55 Britain’s Got Talent 21:00 Britain’s Got More Talent 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 Hellboy II: the Golden Army

07:00 Switched 07:20 Switched 07:45 Switched 08:05 Supernanny US 09:05 One Tree Hill 10:10 Hollyoaks 12:50 Watch 13:05 Smallville 14:05 Scrubs 14:35 Listen 14:55 Perfect Couples 15:20 Privileged 16:10 Being Erica 17:10 Ugly Betty 18:05 Ugly Betty 19:05 Ugly Betty 20:05 Ugly Betty 21:05 90210 22:00 Desperate Housewives 23:00 Desperate Housewives 24:00 Skins


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life TV

30th March- 4th April

monday 2nd april BBC1





07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Animal 24:7 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 My Worst Deal 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Horrible Histories 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:35 A Question of Sport 24:05 Late Kick Off

07:00 Childrens TV 10:55 Tree Fu Tom 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Dipdap 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Hell Drivers 14:15 Animal Park 15:15 To Buy or Not to Buy 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Just a Minute 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Castle Commando 21:00 Chaplains: Angels of Mersey 21:30 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 22:00 Modern Spies 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 The Human Factor

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Scott & Bailey 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Granada News 23:35 The Agenda 24:05 Mayday Mayday 24:35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories

07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:35 According to Jim 09:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:45 The Quiet Man 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Damien Hirst: The First Look 22:00 Embarrassing Bodies 23:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 24:00 Homeland

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 London: The Inside Story 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:10 Defending Our Kids: the Julie Posey Story 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 22:00 Little Nicky 23:55 Anger Management

07:00 Coronation Street 07:25 Coronation Street 07:50 Emmerdale 08:15 Loose Women 09:10 Judge Judy 09:35 Judge Judy 10:00 Judge Judy 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Coronation Street 13:30 Coronation Street 14:00 Emmerdale 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 19:05 Judge Judy 19:30 Judge Judy 20:00 The Cube 21:00 Gossip Girl 22:00 The Shawshank Redemption 24:50 Celebrity Juice

tuesday 3rd April



07:00 Switched 07:25 One Tree Hill 08:05 Glee 08:45 Ugly Betty 09:40 One Tree Hill 10:35 Scrubs 11:00 Scrubs 11:30 90210 12:25 Desperate Housewives 13:20 Greek 14:20 Scrubs 14:50 Scrubs 15:15 Hollyoaks 15:45 90210 16:40 Glee 17:35 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Desperate Housewives 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:35 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 My Name Is Earl 21:30 My Name Is Earl 22:00 One Tree Hill 23:00 Made in Chelsea 24:00 Come Dine with Me








07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Animal 24:7 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 My Worst Deal 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Horrible Histories 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 Who Let the Dogs Out? 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Syndicate 23:00 BBC News 23:35 Who Do You Think You Are? US 24:20 Lionel Richie at the BBC

07:00 Childrens TV 10:55 Tree Fu Tom 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Dipdap 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Tiger Bay 14:15 Animal Park 15:15 To Buy or Not to Buy 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Just a Minute 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Coast 21:00 The Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation 22:00 Horizon 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 WikiLeaks: The Secret Life of a Superpower

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Granada News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Countrywise Kitchen 21:00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Celebrity 22:00 Smugglers 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Granada News and Weather 23:35 Benidorm 24:35 Ladette to Lady: Australia

07:20 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 According to Jim 09:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:05 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Fabulous Baker Brothers 13:35 River Cottage 13:50 Father Goose 16:05 Channel 4 Presents 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 The Undateables 23:00 Facejacker 23:35 Hit the Road Jack 24:10 Random Acts

07:00 Childrens TV 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 London: The Inside Story 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Let Me Call You Sweetheart 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 21:00 Rory McGrath’s Pub Dig 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: NY 23:55 CSI: Miami 24:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

07:00 Coronation Street 07:25 Coronation Street 07:50 Emmerdale 08:15 Loose Women 09:10 Judge Judy 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30 Judge Judy 12:00 Judge Judy 13:00 Coronation Street 13:30 Coronation Street 14:00 Emmerdale 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 19:05 Judge Judy 19:30 The Cube 20:30 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 21:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 22:00 The Vampire Diaries 23:00 The Matrix

07:00 Switched 07:25 One Tree Hill 08:05 Glee 08:45 Ugly Betty 09:35 One Tree Hill 10:30 Scrubs 11:30 90210 12:25 Desperate Housewives 13:20 Greek 14:20 Scrubs 15:15 Hollyoaks 15:45 90210 16:40 Glee 17:35 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Desperate Housewives 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:35 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 How I Met Your Mother 21:30 Rules of Engagement 22:00 90210 23:00 The Cleveland Show 23:30 Napoleon Dynamite 23:55 The Ricky Gervais Show 24:30 The Ricky Gervais Show

wednesday 4th April BBC1







07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Animal 24:7 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 My Worst Deal 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Horrible Histories 16:35 Lockie Leonard 17:00 All Over the Place 17:30 Deadly Top 10 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Cash Britain 21:00 Waterloo Road 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Sexism In Football?

07:00 Childrens TV 10:55 Tree Fu Tom 11:20 Zingzillas Zingbop 11:25 Dipdap 11:30 64 Zoo Lane 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Skyrunners 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Animal Park 15:15 To Buy or Not to Buy 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Breakaway 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Just a Minute 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 The Fisherman’s Apprentice with Monty Halls 21:00 Our Food 22:00 Woolly Mammoth: Secrets from the Ice 23:00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired! 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Golf

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Granada News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Granada News and Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League 24:35 Road Warriors

07:10 The Treacle People 07:20 The Hoobs 08:15 Freshly Squeezed 08:40 According to Jim 09:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:05 Frasier 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:00 The Secret Millionaire USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary 13:05 Fabulous Baker Brothers 13:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:45 Never So Few 16:05 Channel 4 Presents 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 18:30 Four in a Bed 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Four Rooms 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 10 O’Clock Live 23:55 Facejacker 24:30 Hit the Road Jack

07:00 Childrens TV 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:55 Milkshake! Monkey 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 London: The Inside Story 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 Montana Sky 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 21:00 Cowboy Traders 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 24:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 24:55 Poker: The Big Game

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Nanny 911 08:15 Loose Women 09:10 Judge Judy 09:35 Judge Judy 10:00 Judge Judy 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30 Judge Judy 12:00 Judge Judy 12:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Nanny 911 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 19:05 Judge Judy 19:30 Judge Judy 20:00 Take Me Out 21:15 Take Me Out: The Gossip 22:00 Knocked Up 24:40 Eyes Wide Shut

07:00 Switched 07:25 One Tree Hill 08:05 Glee 08:50 Ugly Betty 09:40 One Tree Hill 10:35 Scrubs 11:05 Scrubs 11:30 90210 12:25 Desperate Housewives 13:20 Greek 14:20 Scrubs 14:50 Scrubs 15:15 Hollyoaks 15:50 90210 16:45 Glee 17:35 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Desperate Housewives 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:35 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Footloose 23:10 Alien: Resurrection

Crossword Solutions for 649 Cryptic Solutions Across: 7 Tithes; 8 Memoir; 10 Colonel; 11 Paris; 12 Ewer; 13 Usury; 17 Green; 18 Bill; 22 Tramp; 23 Outlast; 24 Accord; 25 Muscle. Down: 1 Sticker; 2 Stalked; 3 Feint; 4 Keepers; 5 Court; 6 Dress; 9 Plaster of; 14 Drapery; 15 Finance; 16 Flatter; 19 Steal; 20 Fancy; 21 Stout.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Quick solutions Across: 7 Stocks; 8 Caller; 10 Regular; 11 Terse; 12 Cove; 13 Sneak; 17 Relic; 18 Dawn; 22 Ideal; 23 Avarice; 24 Accent; 25 Morass. Down: 1 Ostrich; 2 Forgive; 3 Skill; 4 Martial; 5 Alert; 6 Order; 9 Principal; 14 Telling; 15 Capital; 16 Intense; 19 Vital; 20 Teach; 21 Wagon. Wordwheel: KNOWLEDGE



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life music

CostaVibes Tony Poole

Alberto Nieto speaks about Jazz San Javier 2012 THE CUSTOMARY annual presentation of the official poster for the San Javier International Jazz Festival was presented earlier this month along with a preview of the programme. The full programme is announced during April, with tickets going on sale soon after. Festival Director Alberto Nieto runs us through the roll-call so far; “Top of the list is John Hiatt, an American rock guitarist, pianist, singer-songwriter. He has played a variety of musical styles including new wave, blues and country. Hiatt has been nominated for several Grammy Awards – but never won. He remains one of the most respected and influential American singer-songwriters.” “Brazilian pianist, singer, composer and Grammy Award winner Eliane Elias has a delicate and sensual musical style, with deep roots in bossa nova and the music of Brazil. She has gained considerable chart success. In Japan four of her albums reached gold, including the last three. In 2007, ‘Something For You’, was named Best Vocal Album, in 2008 she was the artist who sold the second most albums in France.” “Renegade Creation, is one of the best super groups to have surfaced in recent years in jazz-rock fusion. They combine the extraordinary talent of two of the best guitarists in the world, Michael Landau and Robben Ford, with a spectacular rhythm section consisting of electric bass wizard Jimmy Haslip, bassist for The Yellowjackets, and drummer Gary Novak, once a member of Chick Corea’s Elektric Band. With a self-titled album, the members of this super group elevate blues-rock to the highest level.”

Argentine guitarist Luis Salinas is regarded as a musical genius by Alberto. He last performed at Jazz San Javier five years ago “Few will be surprised to learn that our festival considers him to be one the best two or three guitarists in the world. He is not only a virtuoso, but also a fine human being who leaves his mark wherever he goes. This will be a concert which represents the pure essence of the San Javier Jazz Festival.” “By way of Paris, Italian pianist, Giovanni Mirabassi is a self-taught musician, who learned piano by listening to Bud Powell, Art Tatum, Oscar Peterson, and the great Enrico Pieranunzi. His style is refined and romantic, similar to other Italian pianist like Stefano Bollani and Danilo Rea, but in addition, Mirabassi is also comfortable with American jazz standards.” “Dorantes debuts at the festival, accompanied by his quartet, plus guest artist Esperanza Fernández, one the best voices in new flamenco. Dorantes will prove to us why he is one of the Spain’s most prestigious international musicians.” “José Luis Gutiérrez is one of the most innovative and refreshing musicians on the Spanish jazz scene. His music, influenced by Iberian sounds is passionate, intense and personal, which masterfully joined with the freedom of improvisation forms a particular style known as Iberjazz. His first album ‘Núcleo’ was considered the Best Jazz Album of the Year in Spain. Special guest is singer Lucrecia, a star of Cuban music now residing in Spain.” The San Javier International Jazz Festival is staged at the auditorium in Almansa Park throughout July.

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The Lennon and McCartney Show

WITH A combination of Jimmy Mac and Trace Graham, you are guaranteed an evening of fun, dancing, and great entertainment. Affectionately known as Jock Lennon and Paul Mc Cockney, these guys perform songs from the Beatles with power, excellent harmonies and great musicianship. Dressed in outfits that are appropriate to the Beatles the show takes you back to the heyday of Beatle mania and also with a little help from their friends, Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry and Jerry Lee Lewis you will relive the time of great rock ‘n’ roll tunes; an overall great mixture of rock ‘n’ roll music. You will leave the venue with a smile on your face. Since these guys appeared at a recent Showcase there has been a lot of interest and enquiries for them. For details please contact Phoenix Promotions 677 222 352.

Out About


Thank you from Phoenix Promotions Showcases

FRIDAY 30TH MARCH Sam Curtis, The Final Whistle, La Marina, Andy Jones, El Parque, O Nil Raving Rupert, White Swan, La Marina Dee, JP’s Bar, Mil Palmeras

SATURDAY 31ST MARCH Tony Lincoln, Gasolina Meroil, Catral Richie, Fogon Restaurant, Hondon Celena Deans, La Manga, Camping La Manga BJ Bluesman, Bar Imanyo, Daya Neuva Enigma Karaoke, O Duills, Gran Alicant

THROUGHOUT THE Month of March, Phoenix Promotions held showcases at El Mundos in Benimar; Hotel El Corazon in Quesada; Harry’s Bar in Quesada and JP’s Bar in Mil Palmeras. I would like to thank all the bars and staff at these establishments for their courtesy and for the hospitality shown to us during these events. I would also like to thank the acts that took part in the showcases and gave their time to help promote themselves and of course the agency. I look forward to 2012 with renewed vigour and determination to make Phoenix Promotions your first choice when looking for entertainment. Thanks…Pat Martin For further information please call Phoenix Promotions 677 222 352.

Massive UK success leads to a short Spring Tour for Ricky Valance in Spain WITH HIS Life story about to be shown on BBC television and a resurgence of UK interest in one of the original 60s greats, Ricky Valance finds himself in huge demand on home turf. During much of the last five months in the UK he has worked with camera crews doing live theatre shows all over the country and this is set to continue as the film, when released, will surely generate even more excitement and interest. Ricky, who lives on the Costa Blanca, will spend less time here in 2012 and so he has decided to set up a mini tour in April which may turn out to be his only appearances for the year. He will fly in for the tour and go straight back to his UK bookings once it’s completed. Working with the fabulous Jukebox Legends the Spring show will once again bring back memories from the great period that changed music forever and Ricky was part of that incredible time. Singing with the same tone to his voice that he had in 1960, Ricky will perform his hits of the past, his later hits, including those from his Nashville days and cover some great music to bring back all those memories, supported by Jukebox Legends’ very own Fiona McLean and Peter Day, who will each perform some of their recordings and bring their own magical sounds to nights of nostalgia, fun and great music. There are three shows and tickets for all are just 8.50€. DATES & VENUES Friday 13th April, The Club, Quesada 96 671 7028 Tuesday 17th, Las Palmeras, Crevillente 96 540 0188 Wednesday 18th, Costa Narejos Hotel, Los Alcazares 96 858 3980 Shows start at 8.30pm and pre-show menus are available at great prices (details from the venues). Tickets are available at the venues or you can book online at - ticket info line: 695 135 134. Ricky and Jukebox Promotions are proud supporters of Help at Home (Costa Blanca) and the tour will fund-raise for this charity.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


Big band dance night with Swingtet Plus Band THE BIG Band Dance Nights will return to the Hotel Spa Costa Narejos next month. The fantastic four star hotel in Los Alcázares will play host to the Swingtet Plus Band on Thursday 19th April from 9pm until 11.30pm. If you have never been to a Big Band Dance Night before, you are certainly missing out. Swingtet Plus Band plays all your favourite Big Band music with Swing, Jazz and Latin all playing a huge part in their repertoire. And with Patti Ross as their featured vocalist, you will also be treated to some sensational singing delight. The music comes courtesy of a very talented nine piece band that provides a very Big Band sound; giving you their own renditions of the most popular music of that era. For the past three years these Big Band Dance Nights have become very popular and successful; and if you want to stay at the hotel and make a night of it, special room rates are available. So, what are you waiting for? Tickets for the show are priced at just 7€ and are available in advance from the hotel on 968 583 980, which is also the number to call to reserve a room. For all other information on Swingtet Plus Band, please call 968 432 630.


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life tech Opening files

Keith via email asks: DEAR AUNTY. You have helped before and hopefully can again. I have obtained a new computer recently with windows 7 which used to open any .xls spreadsheet files straight into Open Office. Now when I download a file and click open it brings up a box in which I then have to save the file and then open it by using the right click and the “open with” option and choose openofficeorg.calc from the list. How do I automatically open directly without having to go through the above lengthy procedure? Aunty Says: Hello Keith. Once you have selected Open Office’s Calc program from the list you should see an option where you can tick ‘always use the selected program...’ which from then on should allow you to simply download and run the associated Open Office program automatically. This of course works with any file types (such as jpg pictures and Adobe’s pdf files) which you can permanently link to your favourite program. Any problems then let me know.

with Aunty Virus


Cannot find key

Bill via email asks; I CANNOT seem to get the @ key on my laptop keyboard to work, it seems to be in the wrong place because a different character appears when I try to type an email address. Aunty Says: The ‘at’ sign (@) sign is in a different place on UK, US and Spanish keyboards and you most likely have the incorrect keyboard layout setup in Windows (UK instead of the Spanish one or vice versa) Click the Start button and go to your Control panel. Choose ‘Region and Language’ ‘Keyboards and Languages’ ‘Change Keyboard’ and add the correct one from the list. Remember to set it as the default and delete the old ones you no longer need. The Spanish keyboard is fairly obvious to spot, but I’ve seen a few laptops recently that have US keyboards which can be identified by the lack of the pound sign. Don’t forget you will need to hold down the ‘Alt Gr’ key and press the ‘2’ key to get the @ key on a Spanish keyboard.

Speeding things up

Tom via email asks: DEAR AUNTY. I’ve just upgraded my PC from Windows Vista to Windows7 and I was informed it would be much faster, but in actual fact it takes 3 times as long to warm up and to start programs. How can I speed things up? Aunty Says; Hello Tom. This could be due to a number of things. The first thing I will say is that upgrading Windows (as opposed to a fresh install) is a very fragile process, and quite often any problems you had with your previous Windows will be inherited. The general rule of thumb is that if your computer

ran Vista it will be able to run Win7, but you need check you have at least 1GB of memory, a processor around 2Gghz, and at least 50GB of free hard disk space. The best way of checking this is to download and run the free Microsoft upgrade advisor tool that you can find amongst the handy links on the www. homepage. This will tell you whether your computer is Win7 capable and also checks whether your installed programs and drivers are compatible. However it may be worth waiting a few days before you try anything as there are a humongous amount of Windows Updates coming in from Microsoft that will certainly slow a fresh install of Windows to a crawl.

Transferring email address

Lin from La Marina asks: HI AUNTY, At last I have a new laptop bought over from Blighty, can you please tell me how to transfer my email address onto my nice new machine as I am keeping the old laptop. I would like to be able to use the same addresses on both machines, I have a Google Gmail address. Aunty Says: Hi Lin, if you access your Gmail account using webmail (Internet Explorer, Chrome or Firefox etc) then your emails and addresses are all stored on Goggle’s server somewhere on the Internet, so all you need to do is simply login to your Gmail account on the new computer as you would previously on the old one. This is why webmail is so popular as you are able access your account (and address book) from any hotspot or Internet café anywhere in the world. However Lin, if you use Gmail through Outlook or Windows Mail, then that is somewhat more complicated and I will need to know how you accessed your email on your old machine (Outlook Express etc) and similarly which email program you have installed on the new one.

Gadget Inspector Investigates:

NetSecure SmartSwipe THIS WEEK the Inspector takes a look at the NetSecure SmartSwipe – the future of online shopping. It’s easy to see the reasons why there has been an explosion in shopping online in recent years – convenience, choice, price and product reviews to name a few. A recent survey of over 1,000 consumers in the UK showed that 14% of customers buy online more than once a week compared to only 4% in 2007. Furthermore, 60% of shoppers expect to spend more online in the coming 2-3 years. But it’s not all a bed of roses: the increase of online payments has attracted a lot of unwelcome attention from the cyber-criminal community – keen to relieve you of your payment details or take advantage of your favourite payment processor… So what can the security-savvy shopper do to reduce the risks and still enjoy all of the benefits? Get a NetSecure SmartSwipe of course! The Netsecure SmartSwipe is a USB device that plugs into your PC, and when you checkout your online purchases reads, encrypts and sends your credit card details directly to the payment page. A simple swipe of your card through the reader, a quick click of the confirm button and you´re done - no more tedious typing in of all your details and wasting time trying to remember your dog’s favourite school or mother’s maiden name: now did I save Attila or Adolf? But the protection doesn’t end there – the Smartswipe protects your information before it even enters your computer, reducing the risk from hackers, malicious software and providing proactive protection from phishing sites (a website that tries to get

usernames, passwords, or credit card details by pretending to be trustworthy). No personal or credit card information is stored on your PC, so if it’s lost or stolen they´ll be no early Christmas at your expense. The Netsecure SmartSwipe works with virtually any website that accepts Mastercard, American Express, Visa and Visa Debit card payments. You’ll need a Windows PC (no Mac version as yet) running XP, Vista, or Windows 7 (32 and 64 bit versions). Your browser also needs to be Internet Explorer 6 upwards or Firefox 3.6 upwards. The Inspectors Verdict: The Netsecure SmartSwipe is set to revolutionise online payments – with the increasing concerns over online fraud and security can you do without one? Or of course you can just wait for the shops to open… Visit to purchase your NetSecure SmartSwipe for 89€ including delivery to Spain (subject to exchange rate).

Free UK Numbers with Europa Network We all have friends and family from the UK and if they are anything like mine they never call you in Spain because they are worried about the cost. With a UK Free 0843 number directed to your Spanish landline, callers from the UK only pay the price of a UK local call when calling you in Spain. This will help you reduce your call spend (people in the UK will be calling you more often) at NO COST TO YOU! The call will only cost the caller 4pence / min at any time. That is not all. We offer the same system for people to call your mobile in Spain. 0872 numbers connect UK callers to your mobile in Spain. They are classified as UK national call rate numbers, so you pay nothing to receive the call, and the caller can contact you on your Spanish mobile for a fraction of the cost. There’s no need to stay in waiting for an important call from the UK, whether you are at the beach, the Bowls Club or out shopping, friends & family can call your Spanish mobile to share their news… and not pay a fortune – no more than 10pm from any UK landline! For your free UK number visit our website: or call the sales team on 965 796 736. If you want a question answered please write to

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


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30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life horoscopes The recent brief Mercury retrograde ends in the second house of Aries midweek. The actions of this fearless Planet of Communication may bring some confusion and it would be very wise to hold back on any actions, especially those that warrant your signature. Take time to chill and make no decisions until after the next weekend; when things should be back to normal. Romantic Venus has business with a shrewd Saturn in Libra, just before the weekend; whilst making the strongest of connections in each house of Taurus. Examine all possibilities before making up your mind; and if at all possible stall for time until the coast is clear and what you propose can be backed up by fact and not fiction. You are wearing your heart on your sleeve. Complications you really do not need just now, especially as you have specific ideas for the immediate future. Caring and sharing with someone you love may make you realise that there are some snags that need to be ironed out, and that you have work to do to ensure the continuity you expect. Venus enters at the end of the week to seal all deals regarding an affair of the heart. The Neptune and Pisces tryst that sets the scene for this week may see you running to hide in that famously protective shell. However you are too inquisitive to let things lie, as currently nothing going on is as it seems. With your best foot forward and a brief to make amends you have to follow your natural instinct, open those psychic centres and somehow come up with transparency. With positive powers from Mighty Uranus and a determined Pisces there is work to be done, and it must be done your way. Someone isn’t playing by the rules, and it is sad that things have had to progress this way. However you seem to have a fight on your hands, and if you truly focus on yourself and your ideals then you will win hands down, and there will be no going back. Friendship means such a lot to you, and there comes a time when somebody must be told that they have crossed the line. At a time, quite frankly, when you need some tender love and care, you are not getting what you need; yet you have richly invested in this relationship. With a warring Mars at your side waiting for instruction you know now what you have to do. Saturn lifts the often stubborn energies of a hesitant Libra, and in this respect it is business as usual this week. What does it take for you to tip the scales, and why shouldn’t they be loaded in your favour? Current plans demand that you put your money where your mouth is, and unlock some financial restraints that are reflecting on an affair of the heart. You are currently playing your cards close to your chest. Actions with Uranus are asking you to closely examine finances and to take control rather then dodge the issue. Somebody isn’t paying their way, and needs toeing in line to resolve things before things can get better. Find a way forward, and this will take much of the strain away, as things start to become clearer and less awkward. Determination has brought you good fortune, and you thrive on a good end result, whatever or wherever the challenge may lead. There have been some confusing energies just lately, and you have had much to sort out and clarify. With the empowerment of powerful Uranus and now Mercury going direct, there comes a domestic mystery to solve, that’s just up your sleeve! For once your insistences have brought you good results, but there is still work to do. Your need to make appropriate changes are highlighted by a natural reverberation amongst the Earth signs you nobly connect with. The Cosmos is showing you what is wrong, and others rely on your interpretation of what new beginnings are good and proper right now. It is too late to say, “I told you so” but you are forced to make drastic changes this week as Neptune drifts into Piscean energies and what was taken for granted now has to be examined piece by piece for your own satisfaction. Let no stone remain unturned and if you value yourself do not allow someone to get away with what they have planned as a spoke in your wheel. Neptune finely tunes this week to allow you to see your own efforts and abilities in context. Though this may very well mean a few changes it is your natural abilities that shine through and show others just what you are capable of, if they didn’t know already. Freedom and a sensitive use of your psychic senses will play a much bigger part than you thought.


Kenny corris

ALWAYS AMONGST my emails and letters come the reminder that Spirit does sometimes try to remain here on Earth, and that that they try to live amongst us in our homes; where usually they are quite rightly unwelcome. We are all of us Spirit living in a body. Without a body we cannot live on Earth as it is our means of transportation. Those who have surrendered their bodies and submitted to death may take their place in the Spirit World, where they may remain for many years. However there are restless Spirits that wish to return, and despite guidance advising against this, they make that long journey back, usually into the homes and places that they have loved living in. Sadly without a body they appear as sad wraiths, and in their anger, very often, they can commence hauntings; especially if they do not get the attention that they feel that they so richly deserve. Tales of spooky houses where more than one Spirit returns merely shows you that generations of ghosts may choose to return to try to live in peace with the human World they left behind in death, for any reason. Hence Arundel Castle in Sussex, for example enjoys ghosts from all along the past historic pathway that this great House has been a part of. Yet it is true to say that not one ghost deserves to be allowed to live there, and they know it too! It may be fun to see a ghost, but when they are spotted they appear as the saddest, most pathetic of forms. Spirit living on Earth cannot be happy, so they cling to what they can for comfort like a fugitive. The difference is that any ghost can choose to be seen or not seen. They have no excuse to be where they are, and so sadness and isolation envelope the spectral body of those who can appear to be undead. The undead do not live, but they mimic their life and the things that they did, and it is simpler to return to a situation they knew from their past life. One such House was one that I encountered near to Guadalest here in Spain. The family called me in as a consultant because they were not sleeping well, were plagued with coldspots and they heard whisperings. As with many who feel the energy of the departed so strongly there was a strong psychic energy in this family. It is possible that others with less psychic ability

Kenny’s diary 2012: THE GOLDEN AGE: INTO THE FIFTH DIMENSION: Saturday April 21st at The Forum Mare Nostrum in Alfaz 10,00 to 5.00. Show with Kenny Corris and Torben Thoger, Mette and Laerke Lund. Advanced Booking at: or 686 361 594. Tickets 25EUR. Credit Cards Accepted by PayPal. Bookable Lunch or Vegetarian Lunch: 10EUR. Monday 2nd and Wednesday 4th April: Readings at The Bistro Maya in Albir. Next to the BBVA bank, close to the beach front. Bookings from 16.30. Call Els or her team on: 966 868 213 “An Audience with Kenny Corris” A Show with clairvoyant energies, readings, and how to develop your connection with Spirit. Currently being presented in five countries. Some bookings for Spain still available to help boost your Charities’ fund raising. Please call Kenny for details direct on: 686 361 594

may not have had a problem living in the house. Poltergeists, for examples, are malevolent Spirits who attach to the psychic energy forces expressed by teenagers. A family with no teenage children who move to a Poltergeist connected home would experience nothing. In this case the Poltergeist would have to leave to find a better situation to gain the maximum attention. That’s what it amounts to, malevolent Spirit like to gain attention, and so, scary things start to be experienced so that the sad wraiths from the past can have their minutes of glory, strike fear in family hearts, and get noticed. The more the fear the more attention is brought and the freelance Spirit thrives. I have, however several clients who live very happily with ghosts in their homes. Hence if the living and the undead bond then nobody is harmed and these grey, spectral wraiths achieve one better. Without having to make any attention seeking actions, they are fully accepted. They are at home amongst those who acknowledge them, and so no haunting is necessary. The odd flit from the kitchen to the sitting room would meet with only a cheery acknowledgment, not with a scream. Unprepared visitors must be warned, however. I recently spent a night in my Norwegian agent’s house in Bergen. I was awoken in the middle of the night by a small very ugly woman that may have been a troll, since the little folk are abundant in Scandinavia. The message that I got I thought was her giving me her name, and I wrote it down, as it sounded. In the morning I told my agent the message, which was, actually, “You haven’t washed the window.” Apparently this little woman was the first housewife to live in the house some hundred years ago, and she appears and is accepted by all the residents. The funny thing was that the glass in the window of the guest room had been recently set, and so all the other windows in the house had been cleaned except for mine. The pygmy female ghost gave this stark warning as she had nothing better to do with her time way back then. In the here and now she had very strict ideas about housekeeping! She lives, a kindred Spirit, in a house where she is accepted, and obviously she chose to appear to me with a view to scare me somewhat. Unfortunately for her she chose the wrong person! Or maybe, just maybe, she got it just right.

Love & Light... Kenny Corris

Postbag Email your letters to me at: KENNY, I am sure that we have a ghost in our house. It appears to be attached to me because I can feel it, but not see it. The family tell me that I am crazy, but then they are first to hear things and feel cold spots. I do not feel anything bad, and I feel it is a woman who is responding to me. Is this possible? Kay S. Speak to your ghost Kay. Be unafraid and stay calm, This maybe a wayward Spirit who is attracted to you. The other members of the family may not have your psychic connection, so they experience only the cold flashes and the creakings. You do not need to be scared into belief, just tell your psychic visitor to stay with you or to go, establish control. No Spirit belongs on Earth, but many have established good bonds with the past by making a positive connection. If you have any problems let me know! You can handle this!

If it’s your birthday this week Enjoy a fair crack of the whip, since those around you right now need to see your real capabilities rather than trying to get you to connect with second best and compromise. Go for Gold!

Appointments: 96 587 8424 Mobile: 686 361 594 Forum: Email: Please contact me for inclusion in my healing list!


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Word Ladders The key rule is that you must only change one letter at a time as you move from one rung to another, and the word you make must be a proper word! Therefore you may move from BATH --> BATS but not from BATH --> CASH because that changes two letters in one go which is not allowed.


Cryptic Crossword Across 1. See 8 Across 8 & 1 Across. What it holds will be of striking significance (3,2,7) 9. Approaching and proving an attraction not far away (7,4) 11. The performer may point out resemblances, we hear (7) 12. Sounds like money - the whereabouts of this will not be disclosed (5) 13. Stages in the tournament completed by golfers (6) 15. The girl is happy with the beginnings of your speech (6) 17. Special celebration to seek to remove ill-feeling (5) 18. One can get carried along by a book of collected works (7) 20. An opposite piece at the end of the shop-fitting (11) 22. Field supplying endless metal (3) 23. Administrators will revise the means test (9)

Down 2. Air corps rises a considerable distance away (3) 3. Time-worn tea ceremony (5) 4. Use temporarily, one hears, at an increased price (6) 5. This will provide a typed copy for a variety of clients (7) 6. A word to conjure with! (11) 7. Gives vent to one’s thoughts on trains (9) 10. Is it akin to a mail-van? (8,3) 11. This provides the basis for making deals (4-5) 14. Diversions by five hundred different routes (7) 16. Left one with a Shakespearean heroine (6) 19. One who goes to bed when working (5) 21. Harry Evans will provide the whisky (3)


Quick Crossword Across 1. Valuation (9) 8. Scull (3) 9. Ban (11) 11. Implore (7) 12. Join (5) 13. Untouched (6) 15. Feel indignant (6) 17. Chop small (5) 18. Ship’s crew (7) 20. Unseemliness (11) 22. Tavern (3) 23. Elastic (9)

Down 2. Equality (3) 3. Ascend (5) 4. Evasive (6) 5. Spare time (7) 6. Thoughtful (11) 7. Soon (9) 10. Unpaid (11) 11. Obscure (9) 14. Less expensive (7) 16. Transverse (6) 19. Ethical (5) 21. Cask (3)

Answers & Winners Last week’s Crossword and Suduko answers found on page 51/53. Winner for 649: Kathryn James, Javea

Euromillions Draw Friday 23rd March 2012

9 15 23 31 50 8

One french ticket won jackpot prize

Tuesday 27th March 2012

24 27 29 34 36


One French ticket won jackpot prize

11 8


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Life cars Using A-frames in Spain OVER THE last few weeks I have been asked by a reader, A Mr Michael Bryan to comment on his problem where he was stopped and fined by the police 500 for towing a Kia Picanto behind his autocaravan while travelling from the UK back to Spain. He bought the attachment which can be viewed at the maker’s web site at http://www. In the UK. I have contacted “Nigel” at Armitage in the UK and they know about the problem where, as Nigel comments, Spain is out of step with other EU countries as the attachment is fully legal in the UK and other EU States. I went with a photo to the local ITV, C.E.

Engineer. The CE engineers all over Spain have an office each at an ITV station, at the testing function levels and they check all the vehicles being imported/tested for RU homolgation in that it conforms to the EU rules for safety and design as with all cars and components. Now Nigel informs me that the particular attachment is approved and they know that Spain refuses to accept the A-Frame as all vehicle below 3 500 Kg MAM (maximum authorised mass) when they break down or are moved other than under their own power, e.g needing transporting, they must be carried on a GRUA or the common here breakdown vehicle. When I showed the photo of the Armitage

setup to the engineer he said the problem that also makes it illegal in Spain is that the attachment points on the car are not approved. The Armitage towing device can only be used here to move a broken down vehicle off the road a very short distance if it poses a danger to other road-users as a piece of rope would be used or a chain. My book emphasises this fact but Nigel at Armitage in the UK knows from experience that Spain has problems with following (obeying) some EU Directives as we well know up to 2004 with resident expats driving licences having to be changed for Spanish ones. Mr Bryan was stopped and fined €500 for towing his Kia Picanto car behind his autocaravan. Sadly he has paid the fine which amounts to an admission of guilt. For a photo of the device and full info go to: http://www.armitagetrailers. com/Aframes.htm Remembering that all trailers also that have a MAM of over 750 Kg must be “braked” usually on the over-runs (when slowing down, or with the tow vehicle braking system directly connected to the trailer (in this case the Kia Picanto) so when the brakes are applied by the towing driver the trailer brakes also are. This is why in Spain the big autocaravans A-frames usually have a purpose built trailer to aren’t accepted carry any small cars behind. in Spain Continued next week.

Brian Deller Author of Motoring in Spain

A1: the one stop solution for your car problems

A1 have been trading for four years

A1 (USED) Motor Spares has been trading for four years in Spain, offering a unique service to motorists. Since relocatingto new and larger premises in San Pedro, the business is building a strong client base with British and Spanish customers,offering over the counter used parts at breakers yard prices, plus part-worn tyres with free fitting. There is a full workshop facility with British mechanics offering a fitting service on parts plus servicing and repairs. Cars can also be prepared and submitted for ITV. Cars are always wanted for parts and can be collected by Grua, and vehicle certificates issued to stop any further bills via SUMA for parking, speeding etc… The car is fast becoming a luxury and keeping it on the road is expensive so why not let A1 Motor Spares make it a bit easier and cheaper. All the staff at A1 speak English and have been in the motor trade for more than 30 years so they know what they are talking about. There are genuine discounts for customers and OAPs. Don’t drive from place to place to find what you need, come to A1: your one stop solution for most car problems. Open 10am – 5pm Monday to Friday, 10am – 2pm Saturday: Call 96 819 8401 or 620 738 023.

There is much more detailed information on all motoring subjects in my book. Brian Juan (John) Deller, Malaga, author, ‘Motoring in Spain’ Tel: 666 888 870 Brian Deller, author, book Motoring in Spain, ISBN No 978 84 611 9278 6. Shops’ addresses in my web site at:

Is it a plane, is it a bird…

FROM 0 to 100 mph in two seconds! Alicante hosted a demonstration of the World’s fastest custom bike this week: the Harley Davidson Destroyer Dragster with a 1200cc/200hp engine. Delighted petrol heads witnessed rider-mechanic Frank drag start the bike twice to a thunderous speed although there was not quite enough track to achieve the machine’s impressive 100mph in 2 seconds maximum.


Tel.: 965 368 274



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Opening hours Mon - Fri 9-6pm (No siesta) Sat 10-1pm. Find us next to Petrol Station TORREMENDO 10 Minutes inland from San Miguel, Los Montesinos & Junction 751 on the AP7 towards Orihuela. Torremendo turning on CV95 towards San Miguel

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FORD FOCUS 1.6i TREND “2007” WAS 7800€ NOW 6995 €

* AUTO *

CITROEN C4 GRAND PICASSO 1.6 HDI “2007” WAS 13995 € NOW 12995 €

3 x NISSAN MICRAS 1.2i VISIA “2010” WAS 8995 € NOW 7995 €

AUDI A4 2.0 TDI MULTITRONIC “2007” WAS 15995 € NOW 14995 €

* AUTO *



FORD MONDEO 2.0 TDCI FUTURA X “2007” WAS 8500 € NOW 7500 €

HYUNDAI GETZ 1.1i GLS “2008” WAS 7995 € NOW 6995 €

FORD C-MAX 1-6 TDCI NEWPORT “2007” WAS 9500 € NOW 8500 €

RENAULT GRAND SCENIC 1.5 DCI “2008” WAS 11995 € NOW 9995 €

CITROEN C2 1.1i FURIO “2006” WAS 5995 € NOW 4995 €

HYUNDAI XG 3.0i V6 AUTO LUXURY “2002” WAS 4995 € NOW 3995 €

SKODA ROOMSTER 1.4 TDI HANDY “2007” WAS 8995 € NOW 7995 €

* 5000kms * RENAULT SCENIC 1.9 DCI EMOTION “2007” WAS 11500 € NOW 9995 €

RENAULT MEGANE EST. 1.9 DCI “2007” WAS 8500 € NOW 7500 €

FIAT NEW BRAVO 1.9 JTD DYNAMIC 120 BHP “2009” 8995 €

OPEL VECTRA 1.8i COMFORT HATCH “2005” 6500 €

HYUNDAI i10 1.0i CONFORT “2008” 7995 €

* AUTO * SKODA FABIA 1.4 TDI COMBI “2008” 8995 €

FORD FOCUS EST. 1.6 TDCI “2005” 5995 €

* AUTO *

RENAULT LAGUNA EST. 2.2 DCI AUTO “2007” 9995 €

CHEVROLET AVEO 1.4i LS “2008” 8500 €

* NEW MOD NISSAN XTRAIL 2.0 DCI XE 4x4 “2009” 15995 €

NISSAN MICRA 1.6i C+C CABRIO “2007” 7995 €


FORD FOCUS 1.6i TREND “2008” 7995 €

* 1 OWNER *



NISSAN QASHQAI 2.0 DCi AUTO 4X4 “2009” 18995 €

RENAULT CLIO 1.5 DCI LUXE “2006” 6995 €

FORD FOCUS EST 1.8 TDCi AMBIENTE “2004” 4995 €

FORD FOCUS EST. 1.8 TDCI TREND “2007” 7995 €

OPEL ASTRA GTC 1.8CDTi SPORT “2008” 8995 €

3 x CITROEN C3’s 1.1i FURIOS “2007” 6995 €


HYUNDAI ATOS 1.0i PRIME “2001” 2995 €

FIAT NEW DOBLO 1.6 JTD PANORAMA “2010” 11995 €

KIA CERATO 1.6i GLX SEDAN “2005” 5995 €

NISSAN QASHQAI 2.00 DCIEKNA “2009” 17500 €

FORD FIESTA 1.3i AMBIENTE “2008” 6995 €

RENAULT CLIO 1.2i 16v “2008” 7995 €

* HI SPEC * CITROEN C3 1.4i COLLECTION “2007” 7500 €



* AUTO * FORD MONDEO 2.0 TDCI GHIA AUTO “2008” 11995 €

Classified Ads

All Major Credit Cards Accepted - 0.31€ per word + IVA

UK-SPAIN-IRELAND All European Destinations

Removals with the personal touch. Full/part loads. Parcels, flat packs, luggage, door to door service, Storage available, pets transported

Phone 965 696 750 • 0044 (0) 7554 447006 email:

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


Book your advert now 902 118 999 (ext 2)


• Professional pool maintenance & cleaning • Replacement pumps, filters, salt systems Ph regulators and accessories supplied and installed • Pipe leaks pressure tested, detected and repaired • Structural leaks investigated and repaired • Refurbishments & upgrades undertaken British Trained with over 15 years experience. Extensive references. All work guaranteed Tel: 96 677 4199 or 678 080 500 Torrevieja and surrounding areas plus Costa Calida


30 MAR - 04 APR 2012


EXCEL AIR CONDITIONING. See main ad on page 11.Tel/Fax (Head Office) 966-897772. Mobiles:-680-154-432/676-265-675. Email All credit/debit cards accepted. SERVICE AIR David Higton: (Tel) 966-865-883 (Mob) 629-308-505 (Email)

FUNKY FREESTYLE DANCE with Louise, every Saturday morning at Villamar Campsite in Albir/Benidorm, come and learn all the moves and routines to your pop idols! Call Louise on 655-781-068 for more information!

FOUR WINNS H220 beautiful Bow Rider. Must be seen. Only 5 hours from new. 2008 Model. 5LT twin screen prop Volvo Pentax, complete with trailer. Ready to go. 32,000€ ono. Call 636413061. BOATING LICENSE NOW, A LEGAL REQUIREMENT In Spain. Serenity Sailing RYA Training Centre, Competent Crew to Yachtmaster, VHF & ICC. Own-boat on sail and power. If you have a yacht or powerboat get qaulified and certified. Contact Richard 0034 633 056 224. enquiries@ .

FRONTLINE spot on for flea and tick treatment contact stigmichael on 962 132 691or email also scaliboir collers for large dogs 63cm PROTECTAPET Spains leading pet insurance provider. tel: 965 756 371 PET TAXI transporting your pet door to door in our air conditioned vehicles, stopping in pet friendly hotels travelling twice monthly. Accompanied travel also available. Tel: 952 541 147

CONSTRUCTION AND ROOFING JR Construction for new builds, refurbishment,brickwork, blockwork, tiling, terraces, BBQ’S, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Roofing, Driveways, Swimming Pools, Disabled Facilities. No Job Too Small Tel 634 617 771 or 966 877 757 NEED HELP AT HOME? Cleaning, shopping & outings etc.Sympathetic service. call Sandra on 651482106 PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL CLEANING SERVICE for your home or business at a fair price. References available. (Altea area) Tel: 965843781 or 622514980 PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL CLEANING SERVICE for your home or business at a fair price. References available. (Altea area) Tel: 965843781 or 622514980 PET TRANSPORT we treat your pet as if they belong to us and that is our promise. van fully air conditioned we believe we have the best rates so give joe a call on 966074576 or 650341087 for a chat or e mail SMALL DOGS CARED FOR IN OUR OWN HOME So if you need to go away on holiday but don’t want your dog to go into kennels then we will look after them. References available. Tel: 965843781 Mob: 622514980

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - COSTA BLANCA Confidential Helpline, South 625 912 078, North 648 169 045.

A.D.LAWTON CONSTRUCCIONES Digger hire, Ground-works, Excavation and Demolition. www.adlawtonconstrucciones. com. Tel:648 052 911 or 965 770 798

FOR RENT BAR/RESTAURANT IN BENISSA Avda Pais Valencia. 120m2+FunctionRoom.Only Catering professionals. Rental Price: 650€/month. Info: 696 463 468 COLD DRINK / SNACK VENDING MACHINES EXCELLENT RECESSION PROOF BUSINESS WITH NO OVERHEADS AND ALL CASH. 5 COLDDRINK VENDING MACHINES €24,900. 25 PRINGLE MACHINES €14,900, ALL WITH GUARANTEED SITES. 619307318. SOLAR ENERGY BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY Long established company, own product range. First class training & support. Telephone 606586587

JUST HIRE IT ONE WAY! Van Hire To UK, Spain and France, different van and car sizes available tel: 952 541 147 / 667 235 205


BYTEBACK MICROS computer repairs/upgrades in your home. Qualified technician. Systems custom built. Whatever your problem call: 965-312-006 or 606-127-424 PC SOLUTIONS 4U For all your PC needs. Reliable & friendly service. Call Fred 634638664

SPARE TIME, WANT EXTRA CASH? Start earning immediately by becoming an AVON representative. Info: ring Rosh 966785520 -------------------------E CIGARETTE AGENTS REQUIRED THROUGHOUT SPAIN Do you want to Earn Extra Cash? By working a few hours a week, selling e-cigarettes to your Family, Friends and local Bars, Restaurants, Chemists etc you can easily develop your own profitable business. For further details call Karen on 610 027 154. -------------------------NOBEL PRIZE WINNING HEART DISCOVERY Nobel Prize Winning Heart Discovery. Excellent product with 40% Comm, also Networkers paradise. Excellent product and an unique pay plan for Entrepreneurs. International buss. 696655028 WANTED ENGLISH FAMILIES For summer boarding of spanish children 1 week to 1 month top rates paid interested contact BÚSQUEDA DE TRABAJO EN LA ZONA DE BENIDORM? Debe hablar español a un nivel alto, ser inteligente y presentable. Posición implica la venta directa de un directorio de empresas nuevas en Benidorm. Alto potencial de ingresos. E-mail CV a info@ Looking for work in the Benidorm area? Must speak Spanish to a high level, be smart and presentable. Position involves direct sales for a new business directory in Benidorm. High earning potential. Email CV to info@ in the first instance JOIN CONSULTUSCARE - THE UK’S LEADING CARE AGENCY. Our excellent team of self-employed carers who live in Spain return to the UK periodically to provide private live-in care to our mainly elderly clients (typically 2 - 4 weeks at a time). If you care and have a British or EU passport; good spoken English; a clean driving licence plus care or nursing experience; are mature with relevant life skills and would like to earn £420 to £616 a week, please contact our Recruitment Consultant, Sandra Field on 658 965 204 or email - web site SPARE TIME, WANT EXTRA CASH? Start earning immediately by becoming an AVON representative. Info: ring Rosh 966785520 CARERS WANTED To work in England 3 weeks on 3 weeks off email CV to 24hourhomecareservices@googlemail. com 24 HOUR HOMECARE SERVICES LTD Wanted companions, carers to work in England as live-in carers. 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off. If you are caring, a good listener and cook contact Karen Jones on (0044) 01929 472 810 or mobile (0044) 07500 836688 email:

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

65 to see quality pre owned furniture and new beds! AT MICHAEL’S Large red/black corner sofa with adjustable head rests. Beige corner sofa. See over 600 photos on: www. MICHAEL’S 28 YEARS IN JAVEA ENSURES YOUR SATISFACTION! We sell high quality pre owned furniture, many from show apartments etc. Look at: www. Tlf:965-791-328.

ANTI-SLIP PRODUCT Free-Sol has an anti slip treatment that reduces the risk of slips and falls on many diffrent types of floor surfaces, which become dangerous to walk on when wet or damp. The application of this anti slip product is quick and easy - there are even DIY kits available if you´d ike to carry out the application yourself. To find out more please phone Martin Freeman on 659 232 507 or send an e-mail to martin.

GARDNER 25 years working in Spain. English/Spanish spoken. Private gardens and communities. Free Quotes Tel 699 682 630 TREE SPECIALIST Cut and removal of palm / pine trees. Size not a problem. Also dangerous & difficult work. Garden cleaning and gravelling. Free estimates. please call adrian on 627 103 412 or www. OASIS GARDEN pool maintenance. Calpe to Javea. Telephone Martin 669 261 868 GARDEN MAINTENANCE Do you need help maintaining your garden? we can supply a full service at competitive prices. Call today for a free quotation 689075125

HAS THE VALUE OF YOUR HOUSE DECREASED? Are you paying too much for house insurance since the property price crash? If so and you would like a free, no obligation quotation with excellent coverage, please call us. Grupo Catalana Occidente covers all insurance needs. Please call 965-855-600 and speak to Manuel Caneda or Lynn Keane in English, on 966-881-048/691-202-307. email: S.O.S. INSURANCE Car-Home-HealthComercial. Funeral Plans and Insurance. Tlf:-966-787-123/622-275-561/686-116-297

USED SOLAR SYSTEM including ,solar panels,batteries,controller and diesel generator 2500 euros, call 675878601 or 965078483 STAMPS FOR SALE GB. mint, singles, sets, presentation packs. Ireland. mint, singles, year issues, FDC, MS all at reasonable prices.Tel: 610 634 506 WHEELCHAIR, LIGHT, FOLDABLE 150€. Electric Mobility Scooter, SUNRISE MEDICAL 40km range 499€. Both like new! call: 627-019-403 SOCIETY FOR THE PROTECTION OF ANIMALS We buy, sell and exchange just about anything at Spain’s BIGGEST CHARITY WAREHOUSE in Gata de Gorgos in aid of S.P.A.I.N. (Society for the Protection of Animals in Need). HOUSE CLEARANCES, furniture, beds, Rastro, Antiques & collectables, bankrupt stock etc. Collection & delivery service available. Tel 96 575 6215 or 665 653 998 for details.

MR FIXIT FOR ALL YOUR ELECTRICAL, PLUMBING, GENERAL & Appliance Repairs. No Callout Charge. 698 320 434

CASH FOR GOLD & SILVER AT BENIDORM GOLD CENTRE, WE BUY ANY AMOUNT, ANY CARAT, AT THE HIGHEST PRICE AROUND. OPEN ALL DAY. C/GERONA 8. CALL: 627019403 ALEXANDERS PAY TOP LONDON PRICES Javea Port seafront open Monday to Saturday - 10am till 3pm. Established since 2003 Tel: 965792595 or 667270969

AT MICHAEL’S Several dining sets to choose from in different styles, classic, modern, bamboo, pine, glass etc. Many with matching sideboards: AT MICHAEL’S part exchange on certain beds when you buy a New bed from our New Bed shop in the Arenal. Photos (updates every 5-6 days): AT MICHAEL’S Free deliveries in our area - usually the same day! Look at: www.

CLASSIC KITCHENS 20 years on the Costa Blanca. Free quote and 3D design call Adrian on: 966865684 / 676699700.

ADVICE WITH THE SPANISH SYSTEM Whatever you need to integrate into the spanish system, we can help you. NIE, residencia, empadronamiento, car import transfer, driving license transfer, schools, doctors, social security. Tel: 619 269 408 ADVISORY SERVICE Need advice on making a will, buying or selling property, tax, resident or non resident, starting a business in spain, we can talk you through and give you the best advice and help you settle in spain. Tel: 610 634 506

BALLROOM/LATIN/SEQUENCE DANCING WITH LA BAMBA’S. At La Rustika [Los Arcos] Restaurant, Avenida Balaeres 34, Torrevieja. Saturday - Social Dance 7.30pm - 10pm Starting 9th January 2012 - Monday - Beginners Class - 10am - 11.30am Monday - Intermediate Class - 11.30am - 1pm Tuesday - Popular Sequence class 7.30pm - 8.30pm followed by Social Dance 8.30pm - 10.30pm [not 2nd Tuesday of month]. At Casa Ventura, San Luis, Torrevieja Starting 12th January 2012 - Thursday - New Beginners class 7.30pm - 8.30pm. Intermediate class 8.30pm - 10.00pm. For more information contact Andrea 616 478 157.

RENAULT LAGUNA 2.0DCI 150CV Initiale Automatico, 2008, 139000kms, 14.999€ Info: 696 463 468 FIAT ULYSSE 2.0 JTD 16V DYNAMIC 2003, 87835kms, 7.000€ Info: 696 463 468 FIAT UNO 1.0, 3 DOOR 1993, 106000kms, 900€ Info: 696 463 468 VOLKSWAGEN GOLF CABRIOLET 1992, 194000kms, 4.500€ Info: 696 463 468 MERCEDES 300 DIESEL AUTOMATIC 1987, 200000kms, 2.000€ Info: 696 463 468 OPEL VECTRA 2.0 DTI 1.6V. CONFORT 2000, 164000kms, 2.000€ Info: 696 463 468 PEUGEOT PARTNER II 1.6HDI 75CV TOTEM CB 2007, 68145kms, 5.500€ (Iva Incl) Info: 696 463 468 CITROEN JUMPY 2.0HDI 120CV L1H1 227 FG 2008, 73249kms,10.500€ (Iva Incl) Info: 696 463 468 MITSUBISHI MONTERO 3.2 DI-D INFORM 3door, 2008, 76115kms, 16.500€ Info: 696 463 468 SUZUKI GRAN VITARA 1.9 DDIS JLX 129CV 2008, 67328kms, 14.000€ Info: 696 463 468 MERCEDES SLK 230 KOMPRESSOR 1999, 83350kms, 7.999€ Info: 696 463 468 CITROEN C5 1.6 HDI SX 110CV 2005, 49061kms, 7.000€ Info: 696 463 468 RENAULT SCENIC 1.6 16V PRIVI. AUTOMATIC 2001, 80151kms, 5.500€ Info: 696 463 468 RENAULT MEGANE GTOUR 1.5DCI CNF 80CV 2007, 65342kms, 7.500€ Info: 696 463 468 PEUGEOT 308 1.6 HDI CONFORT 90CV 2008, 53228kms, 8.500€ Info: 696 463 468 VOLKSWAGEN NEW POLO 1.4 85CV ADVANCE 5 door, 2009, 51049kms, 9.500€ Info: 696 463 468 FIAT GRANDE PUNTO 1.3JTD DYN 90CV 2007, 59216kms, 6.499€ Info: 696 463 468 OPEL CORSA 1.2, 3 DOOR 2005, 53.995kms, 3.500€ Info: 696 463 468 FORD FIESTA II 1.4TDCI AMBIENTE 5door, 12/2006, 67233kms, 5.999€ Info: 696 463 468 FORD FIESTA COUPÉ SPORT 1.6 TDCI 90cv 3P 2008 35178kms 7.499€ Info: 696 463 468 PEUGEOT 206 1.4HDI XLINE 5 door hatchback, 2 owners, 92,000kms, Fully serviced, aircon, CD, dark metallic grey, stunning condition. 6,250€. Ford Focus 1.6 Automatic tiptronic, 5 door hatchback, Sept 2007, 1 owner, 52,000kms, stunning car with sport alloys, cruise control and much more, metallic silver, showroom condition. 8,750€. Kia Carens automatic, 2 litre CRDI, 2005, 2 owners, 115,000kms, FSH, alloys, CD etc. metallic silver. 8,450€, also 2 manual models in stock. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 www. GOING HOME? We have a good selection of RHD vehicles for sale or exchange. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 www. APRILIA SR50, APRILIA SR50, 2006, 50cc Scooter, Red, one owner, pristine condition, totally original, 1495€ www. 965 368 274 FORD FIESTA, 2005 1.4 Ltr TDCi Diesel Spanish LHD, Mid Blue Metallic. 5 door hatchback, air conditioning, CD player and electric windows in excellent condition throughout. 5995€ 965 368 274 FIAT BRAVA,1996 1.4 Ltr SX petrol 5 door,champagne. Spanish LHD, Electric windows, stereo. 1495€ www. 965 368 274 CITROEN C2 VAN,2005, 3 door,1.4 TDCi diesel ,Spanish LHD,white, remote central locking, power steering, air con, CD player and elec windows 3495€ www. 965 368 274 SUZUKI BALENO, 5 door estate, 1997, 1.6 Ltr petrol, burgundy, Spanish LHD, air conditioning, all round electric windows and roof bars. Really clean estate car. 2250€ 965 368 274 RENAULT KANGOO COMBI, 2007, 1.5 Ltr DCi diesel, Red, Spanish LHD, air con, electric windows, sliding side door and full main dealer history, excellent condition throughout. 6495€ www. 965 368 274 2005 SEAT LEON 2.0TDI met red, 41000KM, 1 owner, all options, full history, immaculate, 8995 inc all transfer fees. 965725565/620743048. RENAULT LAGUNA 1999,1.8RT,145,000kms.ITV untill march 2013.i have owned this car for over 5 years and it is mechanically good but bonnet and roof sun damaged.needs a bit of tlc hence price of 900 628832187

WANT TO DRIVE your LHD car to the UK and sell it when you get there? Call 658 670 777 CHEAP TYRES & DISCOUNT BRAKES In Teulada, La Nucia and Alicante offer Quality New Tyres & Brakes at HUGELY DISCOUNTED PRICES! See our main ad on Pg 3 of RTN North edition for the address details of our 3 outlets. Or call 966 487 061 or email for details. SUZUKI SWIFT 1.3, 2006 ,only 26,000kms, full service history with book, hard body damage, good engine, gearbox, tyres, interior etc. 850€ complete - may consider breaking. Telephone Francesca 672 127 228

WANTED Scrap cars, vans, lorries, plant and caravans. Turn your scrap into cash. From Valencia to Alicante. Free collection. Tel: 689-929-395 WANTED I buy any car, van,Caravan,4x4 Etc. British, Spanish. Immediate cash 600-781-873

PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR Matrimonial Surveillance and Relationship Investigation specialists. contact me by email: GENERIC VIAGRA AND WEEKENDERS for best service, Results and Friendly advice. Call Derek : 685 207 378 WE GET YOUR GOODS TO YOU FAST! Unbeatable shipping and handling service from the UK’s premier online adult retailer FREE Delivery on ALL UK Orders! No minimum spend - Royal Mail Super Saver Delivery is FREE! Spend over £30 - Royal Mail Tracked Delivery is FREE! Spend over £50 - Interlink Next Day UK Delivery is FREE! Delivery to Spain is only £10. £10 off your first order when you spend over £50 SPRING OFFER Super strength little blue helper Costa Blanca South, contact Steve 682 454 519. THOSE LITTLE GET YOU UP BLUE PILLS are now available from Tony on 638 352 129. LOOKING FOR COMPANY? Do you want to explore your sexual fantasies with beautiful Brazilian and Oriental ladies? 24 hours, hotel or home visit Telephone 689526354 PLEASURE HOUSE TORREVIEJA Sexy girls from South America. Come and enjoy, low rates from 40€. Address: Calle Finlandia. 682776-068 CASA ANGELA TORREVIEJA Luxury private chalet, parking. Drinks invitation. Feeling alone? Just want some company? Exotic girls from South America. Call us, Also Escort Service. Full discretion. Come and enjoy at: Avenida Asociacion Victimas del Terrorismo. 609-573-468 or 639-832-118

SPANISH LADY PLAYA FLAMENCA near new Carrefour before La Florida. 35 years, attractive, classy lady, private house, parking. Offers all erotic services, massage, sexy lingerie, economical prices from 40€. Full discretion. Call Ana 680-735-412 ARE YOU MALE, FEMALE OR A COUPLE? Need some Sexy FUN? Contact me soonest. 63 year old Dom/Sub switch. Available for fun with Males, Dom and Sub and Cross Dressers, Females Dominatrix and Submissive. Couples including Same Sex Couples. “Anything Goes” Can sometimes accomodate. Home Visits no extra Charge/Low Fees. Call me now on 693-478-573

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012 modern kitchen, downstairs toilet, sun terrace with view of mountains, BBQ terrace with summer kitchen, recentley refurbished and fully furnished. Callosa de en Seria near La Nucia. Tel: 609 177 032

FIRST CLASS DOOR TO DOOR SERVICE To and from Spain with a single box 35 Euros to a full load. Call today for free advice and a free no obligation quote tel: 676 582 333 or +44 1268 728 855 MAN WITH A LARGE VAN local removals, deliveries, collections, house clearance, rubbish removal and disposal. No job too small - call now for competitive no obligation quotation tel: 666 703 499 EUROMOVE4U Full & Part Loads. Spain to UK/UK to Spain on a regular monthly basis. Cars & Motorcycles transported. Call Grant or Jan Office 0034-965-300-959 Mobile 0034-648-102529 UK Mob 0044-7803-893-719. Email info@

PLUMBING & HEATING BATHROOM REFORMS - TILING - WATER HEATERS - GENERAL PLUMBING. Tel: 630 049 773. email: www. NORTH COSTA BLANCA SINCE 1996 FOR ALL SHAPES AND SIZES OF SHOWER and bath screens call Don the Showerman on 96 579 2285 or 639 292 081. Immediate delivery on all products from our stock. See our advert on Page 5 North for a map to our showroom

DETACHED BUNGALOW ON TWO LEVELS, PROPERTY FOR SALE BENITACHELL (Vista Abiar, Les Fonts) - PRIVATE SALE Built 2003, 2 double bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, Lounge / Diner, Sky Satellite Dish fitted, Front south facing terrace with excellent views over vineyards, Large Garage / Storeroom - 85 m2 (ideal for conversion to an apartment, or workshop), community pool, Quiet location in cul-de-sac. (Living Area - 80m2) (Total area - 155m2) Telephone: 96 574 8199 / 659 921 875. Price: 164,500.00 euros.

Properties for sale

MOBILE/PARK HOMES ON CAMPING PUEBLO IN SAN JAVIER FROM 17,000E CAROL 96 819 24 25 MOB 626 055 622 www. EASILY MAINTAINED, DETACHED F/F,2 BED VILLA in l´Alberca, Polop-de-la-Marina. 249m2 flat plot. Lots of extras. Solarium with 360º views of sea and mountains. Community pool and Gardens, easy and low maintenance. 123,000€ Tlf Lynn: 966-881-048/691-202-307 or email for photographs and more information

FOR RENT APARTMENT IN CANOR BENISSA 2Bedrooms. Furnished. Aircon/Heat. Private Pool. 550€/Month (water&electricity included). Info: 696 463 468 BENIDORM - LONG LET Pleasant, furnished, one-bedroomed apartment. 350 euros monthly. Tel: 675289516

POOL LEAK REPAIR SPECIALIST’S Pipe leaks pressure tested, detected and repaired. Structural leaks investigated and repaired. Professional, consciencious service to the highest standards. Refurbishments and upgrades undertaken. Replacement pumps, filters, salt systems, ph regulators and accessories supplied and installed. All work guaranteed. British trained in the UK pool industry with over 15 years experience. 8 years served on the Costa Blanca. Torrevieja and surrounding areas including Costa Calida. Tlf:- Pristine Pools on 966-774-199 or 678-080-500 www. SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE AND CLEANING SERVICE BY POOLTECHSPAIN. We are a fully legal, qualified and registered business who have been operating on the Costa Blanca for 6 years. We offer a professional, reliable, safe and efficient pool service, inc. regrouting, pressure testing and leak repairs. Private and community swimming pools undertaken. Call now for more information on 965-725-565 or mobile 676-945-360/ 620-743-048

JUST HIRE IT ONE WAY ! Van Hire To UK, Spain and France, different van and car sizes available tel: 952 541 147 / 667 235 205 MICK WITH HIS VAN Removals Collections Deliveries. For a reliable effective service. Hourly rate or quote. Call Mick anytime 600-247-535 SPAIN2UK2SPAIN MAN AND VAN departing Costa Blanca twice a month. Full loads/part loads. Excellent rates Tel Christine 965 571 837/638 261 341 enquiries@spain2uk2spain. com VAN LEAVING FOR THE UK/SPAIN EVERY 2 WEEKS great rates please contact joe on 966074576 or 650341087 or MAN & LWB SPRINTER VAN going to UK- Spain twice a month. Tel: 610-846-260 or 0044-7519-186-355

Skip Hire JAVEA SKIP HIRE 626 670 038 Moraira, Benissa, Calpe, Denia from S&W TOOL HIRE & FERRETERIA MORAIRA

QUALIFIED TRANSLATOR Bi-lingual SpanishEnglish and high level French and German. Confidential and reliable accompaniment service. Competitive rates. Torrevieja and surroundings. Virginia 629201192.

SPECIAL SPRING OFFER Driving to or from the UK? English guest house in France. Bed, Breakfast and Evening Meal for two, only 50 euros! Conditions apply.

NAIL COURSES now available in Albir, call Claire 633147881 BRITISH GRADUATE TEACHER offers Primary/Secondary English Mathmatics. Telephone Margaret Johnson B.Ed. 965-350-516 Mob: 616-660-687

TEULADA – LONG TERM LET 3 Bed 2 Bath Apartment Central Heating 154 M2 €450 p/m + bills Tel: 615 813 076 PARK HOMES 2 BEDROOMS BOTH EN SUITE FULLY FITTED ON CAMPING PUEBLO . WITH LOTS OF AMENETIES. FULLY FITTED. ON CAMPING PUEBLO . WITH LOTS OF AMENETIES. GOLF COURSES, BEACH, AIRPORT,HOSPITAL,5 MINS BY CAR. WALKING DISTANCE TO SAN JAVIER CAROL TEL 96 819 24 25 MOB. 626 055 6622 EMAIL. www. ALTEA LA VELLA, COSTA BLANCA Holiday let for 4 people in a 2 bedroomed, first floor, fully furnished apartment. A/C + C/H plus much, much more. Tlf:966-881-048 or email foundation@ for more information and photographs FOR RENT/SALE 400€PCM 120.000€ Classic Spanish Old Town House, 3 double bedrooms (1 with en-suite bathroom) master bathroom,

UKTELEVISION.TV watch British TV channels from anywhere. Easy Setup, Secure Connection. Only €5 per month. Go to for FREE TRIAL SKYSUPPLIES for Sky+HD, Humax, Freesat and Free-to-air Satbox`s. Skycrds, Spare remotes, LNB`s, Satellite dish`s, Realignments, Advice and Backup. 966194013/600899096.

CRYSTAL CLEAR SATELLITE AND INTERNET TV for all your digital and TV requirements. No Annual Fees on Sky Cards. Steve:-660-186-505/Ros:965-584-097.

RECORDS AND CD´S WANTED Top cash paid. Pop, Rock, :630-665-363 I BUY RECORDS LP’S, SINGLES and cd’s any style, jazz, blues, pop, rock, etc... Top cash paid. 622 750 117 TURN YOUR UNWANTED FURNITURE Electrical, Household Goods and Bric-a-brac into Cash. Anything! Anywhere! 965-319-220/ 618-165-877



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Classified Services All Major Credit Cards Accepted - Prices start from 10â‚Ź a week.

Air Conditioning

Book your advert now! 902 118 999 (ext 2)


Building Surveying


Best Quailty Glazing

Airport Parking Business Consultants

Business & House Auctions



Air CarConditioning Hire Maintenance



Buying a home

Mobile Garage

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012



Properties Wanted & Maintenance

Solar Energy

Cars wanted

Good condition LHD Spanish Cars Wanted for cash 95 – 02 Transfers completed Tlf: 693 859 942 or 650 740 265 Removals

Surge Protectors


TV & Satellite

Self Storage

TV & Satellite

Web Design



30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Do It Yourself

Noel’s world of golf By Noel Eastwell Teaching Professional Campo de Golf El Plantio 639 730 891

MORE AND more golf clubs are struggling to make a profit yet they continue to pay third parties commission for them to bring their own customers to them. Now not only the golf courses are seeing sense but golfers themselves are asking why are we using an agent or tour operator instead of dealing directly with the golf courses? This question was addressed about one year ago on the Costa del Sol and answered in the most sensible way. Local golfers would be given the same price; no matter how big a number of bookings they made; as the agents and tour operators. Commission would still be paid to the third parties but they would be expected

to bring golfers from outside the country as was their remit in the first place. It usually takes us here in our part of Spain a little time to catch up with what happens in the south and now we are getting there with a subject that is likely to upset many. In recent years the agents here have muscled their way into the golf industry to such an extent that the golf clubs have been petrified at upsetting them for fear of losing business. This situation came about because of the golf clubs own stupidity as they refused to see the good time would ever end. They became hugely reliant on agents for business and found it easier to deal with just one or two people than the regular golfers. That situation has to change now that profits are at an alltime low. Green fee prices cannot really be increased unless they are so low that the golf course will never pay with the prices that are being charged. That is another subject. The only way clubs can increase profits without upsetting the golfers is to pay less to third parties and deal direct with the golfer as they always should have. The time has come for all of us ordinary golfers who pay green fees to step forward and be heard. We need to

make sure the golf clubs are aware there is a very easy way to increase profits if they deal direct with us. They can still have the agents on their books but these agents have to be encouraged to bring golfers from abroad for golf holidays and make the area attractive again as a golf holiday destination. There is an organization that is paid by some of our golf courses to do this but that organization in my opinion is less than useless and represents the very poorest value for money. Do it yourself and you have the control over what is going on, that way you can make sure it is done properly. Win a round of golf for 2 including buggy at the beautiful El Plantio Resort in Alicante Answer the question below correctly to have a chance to win. The winner of this fantastic prize will be picked at random at the end of each month. Send your entries by email to The decision of the editor of Round Town News will be final in making the winning selection. Question for 30th March 2012: In what US State is The Masters played? A. Georgia B. Florida C. California All answers must be received no later than 5pm on 1st April 2012 to be entered into March’s draw, which will be made on April 1st. The winner will be announced in RTN on 6th April 2012.


The European Tour’s visit to Morocco last week once again provided golfers with a thrilling tournament over a golf course that was well suited for a Tour event and the diversity of The European Tour. Northern Ireland’s Michael Hoey produced a 65 on both Saturday and Sunday to take the title from Damien McGrane. Several players were hoping for a win that would take them to Augusta next week but it was the Irishman who took the top spot and the visit to the season’s first major championship. The Masters is the real start to the golf season for many golfers and the week many see as the most enjoyable of all the year’s golf tournaments. At this time of the year the colours at August are usually stunning and with HD television now available they seem even better. The US Masters is an event that European golfers used to dominate in the days of Ballesteros, Faldo and Olazabal etc. With the current crop of top golfers from Europe there is no reason why that era cannot return. Picking a winner of this tournament is never easy but just a look at the World’s top three should give us

a really optimistic view for this year’s event. In Luke Donald and Lee Westwood we have two of the very best who really are overdue a win in one of the major championships. The current crop of golfers from America may well have something to say about the outcome as well but they will not be alone as those from Australia such as Jason Day will no doubt be in the mix come the back nine on Sunday afternoon. Tiger Woods has now returned to winning ways and will surely be a big threat now that he can get a degree of control over his golf ball. No doubt some of the younger players will now be looking over their shoulders should he be in contention on Sunday afternoon. Golfing tip of the week. Scoring low will earn you more than hitting the ball a long way. Noel Eastwell Golf Academy at El Plantio. Quality coaching at reduced rates for RTN Golf Club members, contact Noel on 639 730 891.

30 MAR - 04 APR 2012

Andy Kay

The Final Whistle

WHILST STATING that Harry Redknapp was the only man for the England job on a long term basis, former Newcastle and Blackburn striker and now BBC pundit Alan Shearer suggests that Glenn Hoddle would be a realistic interim boss at Euro 2012 in Ukraine and Poland. Do you know what, he’s got a

Glenn Hoddle


Glenn for England

point. Even though he hasn’t managed a side since leaving Wolves six years ago, Hoddle is still very much involved in the game, has major tournament experience having led England to the 1998 World Cup Finals and is currently an astute summariser on Sky Sports. The ‘Eileen Drury years’ are well behind him and let’s not forget, he was sacked for his religious views rather than his lack of management talent. I’m sure he now regrets saying ‘them’ things about disabled people and if so, then Hoddle could well be a very decent stop gap. KING KENNY’S CROWN IS SLIPPING Kenny Dalglish has come out with a couple of strange utterances recently. First off, when defending Liverpool’s current league position, he said that in 30 years time, 2011/12 would be remembered not for their performances in the Premier League but rather their success in the Carling Cup. Well pardon me but I can’t remember who won the League Cup last season but I know that it was Manchester United that won the title. He then said, after watching his side lose to Wigan, that their TV schedule and success in both Cup competitions was hampering the team. It’s an excuse that most managers have used in their time and it’s woolly at best. As for his view that Liverpool need to change their playing

philosophy (they are too pretty apparently) I would argue that, as opposed to worrying about style, when playing at home to a side in the bottom three, scoring more goals than them normally does the trick. DRIVING IN THE RAIN Bernie Ecclestone once had a mad idea of installing water sprinklers at every F1 track to make the racing more unpredictable. Lunacy of course, but there’s no doubt that when Mother Nature intervenes and deposits cloud loads of the wet stuff on race day, Formula One is a much more interesting watch, as we witnessed at the Malaysian Grand Prix last Sunday. Even better is when the race gets red flagged. This way you can cook Sunday breakfast for the kids, prepare scrambled eggs on toast for the Mrs (in or out of bed) and still have time to wash up and claim some serious house points before the race restarts. Result all round! AND IN CRICKET NEWS... The phone rings in the England dressing room during the First Test against Sri Lanka. Coach Andy Flower answers it and a voice at the other end says “can I speak to Andrew Strauss”? “He’s just gone out to bat” says Flower. “No worries” says the caller “I’ll hang on a minute” Boom Boom!

Anyone for Tennis? Technidex Valencia 55 v 0 Denia RFC THE COSTA Blanca South tennis league final was held yesterday at the Orihuela Hotel complex. Four teams took part from Campoamor and Orihuela Costa, and two teams from Quesada. The final was between Campoamor and Quesada 1 and the format, the same for all the matches, had two pairs in each team and each pair played each other. The Campoamor team comprised Steve Durie, Roberto Rodriguez,Warren Noble and Joseph Noble. Playing for Quesada 1 were Geoff Cook, Jose Murcia, Chris Madew and Franco Murcia. In an exciting four hour final the first 2 rubbers went to Quesada 1, both decided on tiebreaks: 1 – 6, 6 – 2, 11 - 9 and 3 – 6, 6 – 4, 10 – 8. The second round of matches were even closer with the scores 6 – 3, 3 – 6, 10 – 6 to Quesada 1 and finally 5 -7, 7 – 6, 9 – 11 to

Campoamor. Quesada 1 took the match with 6 points to 2 in a thrilling and closely contested match. Trophies and medals will be awarded during a presentation dinner at the Orihuela Hotel on Saturday 7th April. For more information visit

Fishing Maggots End by

David Hoare 968 199 279

THE MATCH this week was the 3rd in the Coastrider Challenge Cup and again was held on the Rio Segura at Murcia. When you read Terry’s column below, it tells you how bad the Tuesday was. This reflected into Wednesday’s match with only 10 anglers turning out. To be fair, I got up to go on the Tuesday, but as it was heaving down with rain and blowing a gale, bed was a far better option. The problem with this small turnout was that Rods and Reels only had three anglers and therefore making it seven for Abbey, thus making it a one-sided affair as can be seen from the results. Just to help me on the day I had a work party of engineers contemplating their navels for most of the morning in their hiviz jackets just feet from where I was fishing. The river was up and impassable under the bridge and there was more bamboo coming down the river than the pandas at

Edinburgh zoo could eat! TOP RODS ON THE DAY 1st Lenny (ExCultural Attachee) Bolton fishing the feeder using maggot with 7.42 kilos 2nd Bill (The Master) Read fishing the feeder using maggot with 6.66 kilos 3rd Ian (From the Darkside) Haughton fishing the feeder using maggot with 5.20 kilos TEAM RESULT Abbey Anglers with 22.34 kilos Rods and Reels with 10.40 kilos THEREFORE POINTS AFTER 3RD ROUND Abbey Anglers 28 points Rods and Reels 26 points PLEASE NOTE The club has some vacancies at present: if you are interested in joining please contact Derek Swann on 96 672 9293 or 667 407 026. ABBEY ANGLING RESULTS supplied by

La Marina

ishing F Fishing Rods, Reels, Floats Line, Hooks, Nets, etc + Many accessories. Fishing Tackle. Maggots available.


15% DISCOUNT ON ALL PURCHASES OVER 50€ Avd. Europa, LA MARINA La Marina Market Thurs Montcayo Tuesday & Saturday Lemon Tree Sunday Market Tel Ken: 648 134 465 New Shop: 966 189 969

DENIA TRAVELLED to Valencia last Saturday with a team stricken with unavailability and injuries to play a well-drilled and confident Technidex who are near the top of the league. Denia started slowly and it allowed Technidex time to start creating space out wide for their three quarters to score after four minutes. This was the wake-up call Denia needed and for the next thirty minutes they dominated the game. The Denia forwards got over the try line on three different occasions but could not score. After this Denia became frustrated and lost concentration. Technidex soon capitalised on this and scored five quick tries before half time (36 v 0). Denia were looking like a defeated side at half time but after making a few changes they began to get back into the game. The forwards prevented Technidex from getting any possession and they only scored from a Denia mistake or kick not making touch. The final score was 55 v 0 leaving Denia at the bottom of the league with only three more games to go.

For further details ring Alan Roscoe 968 570 876 or email: Terry Screen The 1st round of the Spring Series was fished at Murcia on the 20th March; this was the worst day’s weather I have ever experienced in my 10+ years living here in Spain. When I went outside at 5.15am to load the car, there was about 4 inches of hail stones driven against the garden wall and 10 inches or more of water running down the main road. It was bitterly cold and everyone fishing the match was frozen and could not stop shivering as the rain continued to pour down all day and the river banks were a quagmire. There are now only four of the ducklings left as unfortunately a rat took one of them. The river rose about 6inches during the match, and the fishing is still hard. 1st Lennie (Ex Cultural Attache) Bolton with 7.800kg fishing the feeder and corn 2nd Ian (The Irish Wizard) Dalzell with

7.380kg fishing the feeder and maggot 3rd Dave (The Sweetie Man) Hutchinson with 6.760kg fishing the pole and paste All details are available from our website or from the Match Secretary Terry Screen on 96 532 8368 ANGLERS TOGETHER The objective of Anglers Together has been reached (which was to introduce anglers to each other). Now that newcomers to Spain are few and far between, we have decided that monthly meetings are serving no useful purpose and the friendships that have been made over the past 4 years are now firmly established. We will continue to provide information through our email address if contacted but there will be no membership renewals in May. Thanks to all past members for their support. Tight lines… Dave Hoare

FC Torrevieja news

EXPERIENCED DEFENDER Diego Meijide has joined Elche Illicitano on loan for the rest of the season. Torry played away at Crevillente a week last Wednesday and came away with a 1-1 draw courtesy of a headed goal from Jorge. The same player scored another header to equalise a Gerard goal against Villarreal last Sunday. Torry went on to win that game with a dramatic last minute winner from Juande from an excellent cross from Ramiro. On Sunday Torry make the long trip north to play strugglers SC Requena in a midday kick-off.

RTN South Edition 650  

RTN South Edition 650