In my judgment the voice that emerged expressed something very difficult and sensitive and Meercat should be allowed to go on and not be disturbed. I could have turned her attention to what happened, may be that had made her more secure? But when it happened and also when I heard through the tape I thought it would be better not to interrupt. This is supported by her statement of the importance of not being interrupted when “she is raring to go on”.
Based on what happened in this second dialogue I have chosen to divide the reflections in two parts, first to discuss what happened in the first 20 minutes (the research part) then about the later events that I shall describe as the therapy part. I will use quotation marks and letters in italics when I refer to what Meercat said in the 2nd research dialogue/therapy conversation. 7.3.2. My Reflections on the 2nd RD After the second research conversation and after having read the transcription I noticed that after Meercat had read ‘Anna’s understanding of the first research dialogue’ she felt she had been heard. Not only when she said “you got it 100%”, but also when she elaborated what she had said in the last research conversation. Meercat said more about how important it was “to talk back and forth” and “what relief it was to be allowed to say what I wanted to say”. Also this time she stressed the importance of being heard, saying, “I don’t feel that I’m being heard outside by anybody else. I feel that I’m more of a nuisance and that I’m not worth listening to”. Here too, Meercat links the feeling of being listened to to a sense of being a person of value.
Impressive was also Meercat’s use of the metaphor of jigsaw. For her therapy is “like a great big jigsaw, I’m raving, you know putting the pieces together and sometimes taking the pieces back out, because they’ve not fit properly. It’s like that. And then may be later on putting that piece back again, um”. 7.3.3. My Reflection ‘with another’s voice in mind’, on the 2nd RD Meercat’s use of the metaphor of jigsaw, which she is raving to put together, really touched me. It became even clearer how she is in the process of putting her life together and what a strain that must be.