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CHICKEN DINNER For Thanksgiving
Jonnie Dice: “Fuck You Sanchez.”
By: Mickey Money
WINNER. WINNER. CHICKEN DINNER. Turkey is OUT this Thanksgiving.
EDITOR in CHIEF
Giving Thanks. I’m not gonna lie– I spend most of the year ignoring the opportunity to be truly grateful for all the things I have in my life. I’m fully aware of what those things are, but I just don’t pay much attention to them. It’s easy to forget how lucky some of us are. It’s easy to complain about the things you DON’T have, rather than be thankful for the things you DO. In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, I am committed to acknowledging all of the blessings I’ve been ignoring lately.
I’m Thankful For… • The 2011 NFL Season NOT being cancelled due to a lockout • The NBA players being locked out, which has reminded me why the NBA is an irrelevant sport that nobody cares about– myself included • Maseratis, Range Rovers, and Porsche’s for designing cars that fit my expensive taste • Bookies all across the country, for providing me with the funds necessary to live an extravagant lifestyle. • Square bettors, for funding those bookies with enough money to pay me off when I win. • The Green Bay Packers continued dominance, which has inflated my bank account immensely since the start of the 2011 season (7-3 ATS) • Notre Dame Football – If it weren’t for you, I’d have nobody to make fun of for being perennially overrated (except for USC, Michigan, Ohio State, & Oklahoma). • The Southeastern Conference (3 teams in the top 3 of the BCS standings, and 5 currently ranked in the top 13) • Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets– even if the Dawgs have a bad season, I know we’ll always finish it off with a win. • Wire Transfers • Babes who love football, and wear those oversized jerseys with nothing underneath. • Leon Lett, for reminding me why NEVER to bet on the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. 2
CONTRIBUTORS Mickey Money College Football Expert
Mickey Money, also known as "The Mouth of The South," is a seasoned college football expert with years of experience under his championship belt. Born and raised in the Southern Division, Mickey opted out of student loans, utilizing his bookie to cover his tuition by taking him to the cleaners week after week. Mickey isn't focused on percentages, units, or value bets-- he's only concerned with WINNING. You can view his picks, by following him on twitter @MikkeyMoney.
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Our Secret to Success First of all, we are not a handicapping service. We don’t release “100 Dime Winners,” “Locks of the Day,” “Genie picks,” “Power Plays” or any of that other hyped up bullshit sports betting sites are peddling these days. If you came here looking for well thought out explanations on why a team will cover against the spread, then you’re in the wrong place. At GetSMART, we sell WINNERS– plain and simple. We don’t need to explain ourselves, because the numbers don’t lie. Do you have a winning percentage over 80%? No? Well, WE DO. Losing? What’s that? Oh, is that what happens when you don’t win? I guess we’ve forgotten what that’s like, because we’re too busy CASHING CHECKS. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being a LOSER, or do you want to win so much money that you can BUY happiness? Hot babes, Maseratis, Rolex watches, and GulfStream jets– we’re not talking about those rented ones, but your own fucking plane– that’s just another day in the life of a winner. Interested yet? Keep reading. The System™ picks are generated each week using statistical information, trends, historical data, and simulations. No human emotion is involved, allowing for pure unadulterated objectivity. GetSMART does not decide which matchups to bet on, The System™ does. Each week The System™ will generate a varying number of picks– about 4 on average, and anywhere from 2-6 total. We do not sell individual picks. Our picks are bundled together as a package and sold that way. The price will vary weekly based on the number of selections The System™ generates. After reserving your picks for the week, you will receive an email confirming your purchase within 24 hours, and you will receive your pick package the DAY OF the games, and no later than 2 hours prior to game time. Picks may be purchased up to 30 minutes prior to the first slate of NFL games. Any additional questions should be directed to email@example.com.
RESERVE PICKS 4
For the Record We’re all about transparency here at GetSMART, and we are committed to proving that we are actually as good as we say we are. Each week, we will reveal the previous weeks picks, so you all can track our success for yourselves. If you’re not buying our picks yet, you will be soon. We guarantee it.
Vikings -3 (L) Redskins -3 (W) Packers -13 (W) Chargers -7 (W)
Rams +14.5 (W) Titans -8 (W) Bills -5 (W) Steelers +3 (W) Eagles -3 (W)
Week 5 Panthers +6.5 (W) Bills +3 (W) Patriots -7.5 (W) Chargers -3.5 (W)
Week 9 Texans -11 (W) Broncos +7.5 (W)
Packers -13 (W) Steelers -12.5 (L) Ravens -7 (W) Patriots -6 (L)
Raiders +7.5 (W) Broncos +3.5 (W) Titans +3.5 (W) Cardinals +14 (W) Jets -1 (L)
Seahawks +3 (NA) Falcons +5 (W) Bears -1.5 (W) Cowboys -14 (W) Jaguars +11 (W)
Broncos +7 (W) Detroit -7 (W) Cowboys -8 (L) Bengals +7 (NA) Seahawks +3 (W) 5
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