InsightsaboutGriefandDeathfromHospice WorkerJohnHughes
JohnHughes,for13yearsaspiritualcareproviderandbereavementspecialisttreadingthe challengingpathofprovidingsolaceandunderstandingtothedyingandthebereavedunderhospice care.Hisjourneyculminatedincreationofapowerfulnovel,"HeartLikeaBonfire,"publishedon Amazon.
Agatheringofpoignant,sometimesgut-wrenching&heartbreakingtales.Hughes vividlyamalgamatespoignant,heartrendingtalesthatunraveltherealitiesofdying, death,grief,andbereavementfromseveralperspectives,facingthesewithablend ofgrittyhonesty,humor,andlovingspirituality.
“Somanypeopleareburdenedbylackofknowledgeabouthospice,”Hughessays.“I seethisseveraltimesadayonmyjob,aswellasourculture-widefearofdeathand illiteracyaboutgrief.Wegointothedyingprocesswiththeseburdensholdingus down.IfeltstronglyIhadtowriteabook.
WhatIwasmostenthusedaboutwas theopportunitytoputmyevolved thoughts,perspectives,andattitudes intopracticeintheoftenall-too-real contextofhospice.
Toholdhandswith3200peopleastheywent throughtheirdyingprocessandwiththeir10,000 familymembersastheywentthroughtheirgrief, loss,andbereavement,calledstrengthsofempathy andsteadinessfrommethatIdidn'tknowIhadbutI
grewthemtosuit."
“Dying,death,bereavement,andgrief,areareasofchallengewhichweallmustface,andyetourculture andsociety,avoidthetopicsoutofphobia.Hughessays.“Wetrytoevadethatwhichcannotbeevaded,at greatcosttoourselves,butwecanembracetherealityofoursituationwithwisdom.
Weareweigheddownbygriefphobiaandignoranceof thedyingprocessandofthegriefprocess.Thisbook, withitsamusingandpoignantstoriesandit'spointingout instructions,helpspeopleaccesssomeofthatwisdom. Readerswillbenefitafterlaughingandcrying,"Hughes assures.
Heviewshisbookasanantidotetosociety'sevasionofthe unpleasantnessofdyinganddeath.Thepatientsandtheir outspokenfamilymembers,plusthechaplainandaide,are strong,outspokenadvocatesforawarenessofthedying processandthegriefthatfollows.
Iwrote"HeartLikeABonfire"abouthospicework-dying,death,grief,andbereavementinthe contextofacorporatestructurethatdependsonadheringtogovernmentalregulationsfor Medicarefunding-butalsoasavoiceforcommonvaluingandlovingofthehumancondition.
Myheartbeatwithloveforthese patientsandmostoftheirfamily members,andwhenthelastofthe patientsdied,myheartwasbroken, andIcried.
Griefisnotsomethingtogetoverandgetthroughso thatyoucangetbackto"Normal."Griefitselfisthe healing.,"Readerswillbenefitafterlaughingand crying,"Hughesassures.Heviewshisbookasan antidotetosociety'sevasionoftheunpleasantnessof dyinganddeath.
