Page 1

Swinging For Beginners WHAT IS “SWINGING”? A couple engaging in any form of sexual act is normal. It is the nature of procreation. It is publicly accepted that sexual engagement is only done in areas where privacy is maintained. Presently, there are different types of intimate contact with partners. One is swinging. Swinging is known as an act wherein singles or couples who are typically in a committed relationship consensually agree to engage in sexual activities with others as a form of recreation or social interaction. WHO SWINGS? Let us enrich our vocabulary by listing terminologies that is widely used in the swinging community. Lifestylers are people who are involved in swinging activities. They are called lifestylers since swinging becomes part of their lifestyle. They may be singles or couples. Yes! Singles are also involved in swinging. Though majority of the people involved are couples, solo men and women are welcome in the lifestyle. Newbies are people who are new when it comes to the concept of swinging. This is for first-timers weather a single individual or a couple. By practice, newbies are subjected to the lifestyle via websites that offer swinging services. These websites will allow you to post information about yourself and pictures that may be sensual in nature. Vanillas are people who are not involved in any swinging activity. It’s not what you think; vanillas are people who are not engaged in any swinging activities. This is only used for purpose of identification. Since most of the time in parties and venues swinging attendees are talking about all sorts of things. So they arbitrarily agreed that the general public who are totally out of this lifestyle should be called vanillas.


WHY SWING? People engage themselves in this lifestyle because of all sorts of reasons. These are some of the most general reasons why people decide to swing. People with healthy sex life would like to add another “dimension� in their sexual engagement. Swingers love to have a circle of people whom they can enjoy in a more intimate level. Aside from their partner, they can be intimate to other swingers since it is accepted in that particular forum. The couple is interested in multi-player sexual engagement. They like to exhibit themselves while engaged sexually with other people but not allowing others to join. They like a venue with sexy and warm ambiance where they can show-off seductive clothes and are affectionate with their respective partners and in others as well.


WHERE TO SWING? There are plenty of venues to swing. You may be surprised that there are more than what you know in your area. ONLINE. Several swinging websites are available online. They offer dating services like the usual couple-matching offer but the only difference is that it has you have to create a much sexier profile. You are encouraged by the website administrators to create an impressive profile by posting pictures with a lot less clothes on but not nude. This will increase the possibility of someone else to reach out and contact you. The conversation offline is beyond the control of the site administrator; therefore, you can make certain arrangement within yourselves. SOCIAL GATHERINGS. We are used with formal social gatherings, this may also be applicable to the swinging community but they do it with a notch higher. They openly converse about their life as a couple and the topics behind the door of their bedroom. Local lifestyle parties, meet and greets and swinging clubs conduct the right ambience for people who would like to be involved in the swinging lifestyle. Swinging is for couples with strong relationship and not for those who are already in the edge of breaking apart. It is a conjugal decision of being engaged in this lifestyle. So before going on, talk and agree with you partner. What Are You and Your Partner Looking For? Is Your Relationship Ready For This? Is Your Relationship Secure Enough? When we talk about marriage and love, there’s always a truth that surpasses all truths. This is how it goes – take note of the way your partner talks, moves, and acts. Mostly, take note of how your loved one acts because this is the most important thing. As the saying goes “Action speaks louder than words.” Don’t ever disregard this truth because doing so will only place your love life at risk. Some couples are meant to swing but others may find this type of activity quite controversial. As such, you first have to determine whether or not your marriage is ready for this type of activity. As a true to life example, you’re thinking you’re in love with someone. This person says nice words. But after


several months/weeks/days, you start to discover that your mate’s actions are the exact opposite. Your partner says he has great respect for you but rejects your comments. If you miss to take note and ask regarding these actions, then you’re misleading yourself in the thought that your partner will change soon. They seldom do. And oftentimes, those who disregard the indications and cautions would sooner end up in marriage, just to notice that their partner isn’t really the same person whom they envision to be. In that case, the best secret in a successful married life is finding and marrying the most ideal and right person for you. If you want to swing, make sure that you talk it over with your partner. The least thing you’d want is to break up with your lover, just because you decided to swing on your own. You have to observe and take note of his attitude and character for a long time. Of course, there is no assurance that with this person you’ll live forever in peace and harmony. However, we are definitely confident that taking note of the attitude of your partner at first or early period of your relationship could surely prevent you from a broken marriage. Therefore, when you and your partner decide to get swing someday, make sure that you are both ready physically, emotionally and mentally prepared. Swinging is not really a simple decision to make. You need to think of it a lot of times and be sure that you are ready for any future happenings in your life as a couple. A marriage that’s strengthened has a great chance to be successful. And as we frequently say that a success in marriage is a collection of simple things, and a great marriage is easy to comprehend, we often remind everyone that they need to handle their marriage well. Marriage, to be truly successful needs great effort. If you make your marriage foundation full of lies – like disregarding opinion or approval of your partner prior to swinging – then you are definitely in cold water. Here is a final advice for those of you planning to enter into swinging – always think positive, and make sure that you explain everything to your partner. The


main objective of swinging is to strengthen your relationship and not to break it. How Secure Are You Both Personally? Do you feel secure with your partner? Relationships these days do not last long anymore because of some factors, it could be insecurities, unsure feelings towards each other or maybe not feeling secure with the partner. To make a relationship last long, you should be sure with your partner and you should feel secure with him or her. Talk About Swinging with Your Partner If there are things that are bothering and you feel the need to let your partner know about it, you should not hesitate to tell it to him or him directly. Both of you should be open about each other’s opinions and you should open about it. If your partner has insecurities, assure him or her that he or she doesn’t need to be insecure because he or she is already perfect for you. You have to let him or her feel that he or she is enough and you have nothing to change about him or her anymore. Also, if your partner is insecure about something, as much as possible, you have to avoid getting your partner reminded about it and make him or her know that he or she doesn’t have to be insecure about anything. Accept Your Partner for Who He or She Is To feel secure and for your partner to feel secure with you, you both need to accept each other including all of your flaws and imperfections. When you learn to accept everything and love everything about your partner, you will then feel secure with him or her and in return, he or she will also feel secure with you. Learn to accept the things that your partner likes even if it is none of your interests. You have to realize that if you want to make your relationship last, loving and accepting your partner for what he or she is and for what he or she is yet to be is something that you should do.


Don’t Let Temptations Ruin Your Relationship Today, hot men and women are everywhere. Oftentimes, this is the reason why most relationships fail. Temptations will always be there. The only thing you can do is to be faithful with your partner and not let temptations get in the way of your relationship. Having quality time with each other is must in a relationship. This way, you will have less time minding the temptations around you. Also, this is a great way to deepen the bond you have with your partner. More quality time with your partner will make you take a hold of the relationship tighter. This way, both of you will feel the security of the relationship and the relationship will be more difficult to break. Make the Relationship Last It is easy to say “make the relationship last” but it is hard to do. Before you can make the relationship last, you and your partner should already have that security and desire to spend both of your lives together. Security in a relationship is what makes the relationship last. Couples who do not feel secure with each other end up breaking and look for someone else. Always bear in mind that before you enter a relationship, you should have that desire to make it last. That it is the relationship you will be in for the rest of your life and your partner will be that someone you will spend the rest of your life with. Feel secured and make it last.

Addressing Relationship Concerns A lot of people may think that whenever they get into a relationship, it is the conflict or perhaps the challenges they experience that would break them apart. What these people do not know is that these obstacles they encounter are actually what make their bond grow stronger. Some even try their best to avoid the challenges so as to have a peaceful relationship with their partner. However, experts would say that ignoring and


at the same time avoiding the conflict are the few reasons why relationships end. Engaging into a relationship is a choice and not an option. As what others say “It takes two to tango�. This means that each partner needs to invest on something for the relationship to prosper and to last long as well. There are actually several ways on how couples can deal with the issues they have. These would seem like guidelines on how to address their concerns. Listen One way to address each other’s issues is to listen to what the other partner has to say. Each partner should listen attentively and hear out what the other is saying so as to have a better understanding on what the issue really is rather than just to jump into conclusions without hearing and knowing the whole story. Ask for solutions Asking what the other party thinks about swininging is another way to solve conflicts. Each partner should at least share their own opinion on how to solve the issue. While the other is talking and sharing his/her ideas, the other should be there to listen attentively. Both partners should at least try to solve the issue they have at hand and if not, they should come up with something together to address that issue. Brain-storming as what other would call it, is a good strategy that the couple could develop and incorporate into their relationship. Keep a cool head There are other couples that when they are in the verge of their emotions and angst, they tend to make decisions that they could possibly regret for the rest of their lives. It is best that each partner should stay calm. Good judgment is usually clouded by the great emotions that the couple feels. It is best that when couples talk, they both have a clear mind to think straight and to talk about the issues so as to resolve the problem. Accepting fault


Engaging in a relationship means accepting the risk. Risk in a sense that the other might do something that would offend or hurt the partner. To address such issue, it is best the one who is at fault should accept and not deny the act. The key to solve this issue is through acceptance. Unless one admits and accepts that he/she is the one that had caused their troubles, then both couples would have the tendency to blame each other if who is really at fault. Forgive and Let go When the partner had admitted and accepted that it was him/her who was at fault and who had them put into such situation, the other should forgive and let go. Forgiving the other for what he/she has done and to let go of what had happened. The issue or the conflict should serve as their guiding story in the relationship and to be the basis for their relationship to grow stronger. When these guiding principles are followed, couples will surely have a really good foundation for their relationships. And the issues they experienced will only be a trace of memory they can look back into and just laugh about it in the future. For more on swinging in San Francisco please visit http://swiiiing.com/

Profile for George Castro

Swinging for beginners  

Swingers are everywhere, they're not easy to see unless you become familiar with them. These socially exciting couples get expanded their re...

Swinging for beginners  

Swingers are everywhere, they're not easy to see unless you become familiar with them. These socially exciting couples get expanded their re...

Advertisement