around and run. But I couldn’t. What played out was an outcome of my own shallowness. Her face was the furthest thing from what I had imagined, and consequently I saw no future, no intimacy, and just like that, I completely lost interest and wanted to have nothing more to do with her. I had wanted something so bad that my imagination had run too far ahead of reality. It had lashed out at the possibility of disappointment, and then got stuck in a moment that didn’t quite live up to my fantasy. Needless to say, everything went downhill from there and it was a surprise we even notched together a few days before returning to our worlds, deleting each other’s existence from our minds. But how do you delete a memory? Especially if that memory acts as an alarm every time the temptation to run ahead of the wind returns. More importantly, or tragically, she’ll always be a memory that will speak through my conscience in tones too harsh, showing me the mirror. At the end of the day, she should have been the one running away, for to be so shallow was far more disappointing than to not resemble the face of my imaginations.
PAGES FROM THE D IARY
Gaysi Zine - Vol. 1