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CRAZY CRUSH by P13 It’s an experience that hasn’t quite found a way of duplicating itself. And no matter how old you are, you revisit that delightfully childish place and linger on the rewind button. Last night, I went back in time to feast on images of that early crush. I was in high school, back on stage and back to those dreadful clothes of a very ancient lover. A carefully calculated and somewhat devious plan had led my director friend to cast me in her one-timeonly grand opus, an Indian musicalcomedy adaptation of ‘Romeo and Juliet’. In an all-girls school of geeks, sports-stars and semi pro dancers I seemed like the only ‘bakra’ who didn’t think it odd to play a tragic Romeo that hums in Hindi. It was a deluge of cheesy Bollywood numbers that was guaranteed to get you featured on Dumb.com, but it was the cool thing to do then because… well, I wasn’t thinking straight (pun coincidental) and knew ‘she’ would be watching. I was no stranger to adrenaline-infused crushes on hunks and dames but my eyes always twinkled when she walked by. What had me going were those sly dimples that always made an appearance when I was around; mischief always notices when mischief is at play. Yes, she was popular and possessed enviable qualities but I was convinced, I somehow belonged in her personal fantasy.

began, the balcony was up, and it was time for whatever little charisma and charm that lurked within to fly to my rescue. This kind of role play is only attempted when maturity isn’t in the vicinity. My audience however comprised of just one, the rest merely a flowing mass. This daring move was a breach of romantic protocol in every way, but hey, at least she was watching. Surprisingly, the musicalcomedy adaptation of an ill-fated dramatic hero went down rather well with everyone. At the end of the performance there was mostly laughter, some cheer, a few cat calls and to my relief, an ovation. But, what mattered was she noticed. When the goosebumps had faded and the crowd had dissipated, I saw her approach. “That was good!” she said. “Oh! Thanks”, I replied. My grin was so wide I was afraid my ears would pop. “Have you acted on stage before?” she asked. “Yes, but never in this dress” I assured her. A screaming horde of girls, mostly classmates who had never noticed my presence in the past, suddenly sprung out of nowhere. They’d come in between us but we were still gazing at each other, reversing roles as her eyes twinkled and I blushed, my dimples refusing to fade. Time has passed, we’ve moved on but I still grin like a Cheshire cat when I think of the crazy rush that memory evokes.

It was opening night, I was dressed weird and Juliet couldn’t stop chuckling. The snappy music PAGES FROM THE D IARY

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Gaysi Zine Vol. 1  

Gaysi Zine - Vol. 1

Gaysi Zine Vol. 1  

Gaysi Zine - Vol. 1

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