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The Aberdeen University Student Newspaper

17 April 2012



Est. 1934


Student Elections are back By James Valentine Editor

The Platform had to be abandoned admist safety fears.

Photo/ Lee181169 (wikipedmedia Commons)

Gas leak: cause for concern? By Konrad Wojnar

On Sunday, 25 March, crews from a nearby oil platforms noticed that the sea surrounding the Elgin oil and gas rig began bubbling and spewing a visible cloud of methane and highly volatile liquid oil in the area. The platforms, owned by France’s Total S.A., are part of a chain of oil rigs that extract oil and natural gas from the Buzzard field reservoir, in an area known as the Outer Moray Firth. It’s situated about 150 miles east of Aberdeen and is one of four indicators used for pricing Brent


Crude in world markets. “Work on Sunday (25 March) was being aimed at tackling abnormal pressure conditions spotted on 25 February,” Mr. Guys, a managing director of Total’s UK exploration arm, told the Financial Times. The abnormal pressures were caused by gas gathering in the gas well from an unexplored chalk formation well above the main reservoir. The well was supposed to be capped and permanently abandoned due to the concerns over abnormal pressures. However, this did not happen. The safety procedures of the largest

This week we look at the AUSA elections, the Rector installment, and the council’s attempt to serve a compulsory purchase order on the university Pp.2-3

oil companies, after a series of similar, uncontrolled malfunctions throughout the world, will surely put the oil and gas industry on the spot. Excesses which the companies allow themselves blemish the industry. Stories of workers who often fear reporting hazardous situations are plentiful, as staff often belittle danger concerns to avoid halting production and reducing a company’s profits. While the leak was taking place, and after personnel had been safely evacuated to Aberdeen and nearby rigs, a flare at the top of the Elgin


platform kept burning throughout the following week. Althoug finally extinguished, it could have caused a possibly devastating scenario had the flare ignited the gas cloud. Shearwater, a nearby platform, owned by Royal Dutch Shell, evacuated all non-essential staff once the gas leak was discovered. In addition, a two mile exclusion zone and a three mile airway ban around the platform were imposed to prevent any further repercussions. The situation is projected to last anywhere from a few days to a

John Lewis asks why we’re so bothered about sex. It’s not like in the movies, and people aren’t, it seems, willing to talk about it to a man with a clipboard. P. 9

continues on page 3


Aberdeen University Students’ Association elections take place this week as the students vote to allocate the Presidential and Vice-Presidential positions for the 2012/13 Executive Committee. The Executive Committee, the group of students which head up Aberdeen University Students’ Association, is made up of six full time paid positions and their part time counterparts. The sabbatical positions being contested are: President of the Students’ Association along with Presidents for: Welfare and Equal Opportunities, Charities, Education and Employability, Sports, and Societies and Student Activities. The 2012/13 Executive Committee elections have seen a spike in the number of candidates, with 27 students running for various sabbatical roles, and ten running for the part-time Vice President positions. Initially there had been 32 candidates but the past few weeks have seen several withdrawals. Turnout has been especially high for the role of President of the Students’ Association with nine students fighting to take over from the current President, Tessa Birley, who has decided not to stand for a second year. Campaigning runs from the 17 to 19 April across campus, with postering and canvassing beginning at one minute past midnight on the 17th. This year sees the introduction of tighter rules on how candidates are allowed to campaign, after they were told to be more careful with postering than previous elections. The online voting will open at 9am on the 17th and close at 5pm on the 19th. Last year’s elections saw less than 20% of the student body vote. It is hoped that the variety and number of candidates will encourage more to get online and vote.

Elizabeth Ozolins meets Lawson, the Leeds based music sensation that’s sweeping the music. P.23

The Gaudie


Editors’ Choice What would you do with £15,000? AUSA received that to develop the small sports hall in Butchart. Watch this space!

17 April 2012


Editors: Henry Booth & Aaron Murray

Council moves to seize University’s land By Stuart Hewitt


News Want the low-down and information on accommodation? We have the best hints and tips for succeding in the renting market! P.6-7

Features Once you’ve left home and gone to university, can you ever really go back? And are homecomforts all they’re made out to be? P.9

Opine What’s that? An Interview with the one and only Levi Roots? Yes please! And a recipe for his Apple Crumble? Yes, we are that generous! P.14

Councillors are set to snatch some of the university’s last developable land using controversial planning legislation for a disputed bridge project close to campus. Two plots of university owned land will be requisitioned by the council for their £14.5 million Third Don Crossing project, which could also dramatically increase traffic around campus, using controversial Compulsory Purchase Orders after a government inquiry ruled in favour of their use. The one-and-a-half-mile road linking the parkway to St. Machar Drive aims to ease congestion on commuter routes into the city from the north and west, and forms part of their wider access from the North congestion relief plans. One of the plots being lost to the council, which lies on the piece of open ground at the corner of St. Machar Drive and Bedford Road, constitutes some of the last developable land on the university’s books. University officials have no immediate plans for the land but the loss of this portion of the site could have a detrimental effect on its development viability in the future. The plot also lies on top of some crucial university central heating pipeline and IT infrastructure which the council will have to find an alternative for at their own cost. University Head of Estates, Angus Donaldson, said: “We are not objecting to the principle of this development, our concerns to date have only been that we receive proper compensation through the CPO process.” “What we will do next is work with the Council on the implementation of the CPO to

Artist’s Impression of the third Don crossing Photo/ Aberdeen City Council insure that the university receives due compensation, financially and for any disruption.” The university will be compensated in accordance with the CPO legislation and are currently in negotiations with council officials to find a solution. A Scottish Government public inquiry was held in Aberdeen in November last year to consider the use of CPOs, after the university and other local residents objected to their use. The government decision to ratify the use of CPOs was announced on 15 March and allowed the council to move ahead with their plans. Compulsory Purchase Orders are a mechanism designed to allow certain bodies to obtain land or property without the consent of the owner. However, authorities must demonstrate that there is a “compelling case in the public interest” in order to successfully issue the orders. The use of CPO’s are already a divisive issue in Aberdeen after Donald Trump’s £750 million golf course project threatened to use them on residents, though the threat was eventually rescinded. The Third Don Crossing project, which was awarded planning

permission at the end of February, will run alongside the campus and the land at St Machar drive is needed to widen the road and extend the junction with Bedford Road. Concerns have also been raised about increased traffic around campus as commuters will be funnelled down Tillydrone Avenue and St. Machar Drive which already struggle with peak time traffic. The council contend that traffic would increase along St. Machar Drive whether the project goes ahead or not, a point challenged by campaign groups who oppose the project. The university have also expressed concern about the possible increased traffic. A spokesperson said “The safety of our students, staff and visitors is paramount, and the university is keen for dialogue with the city council on the mitigation of any increased risk to pedestrians.” The second plot of land which will be appropriated by the council for part of the road link lies north of the river and is part of a network of playing fields owned by the university. The university have no immediate plans for the land

Life & Style Titanic’s out, but will your heart still go on? Do you trust that it will be just as good? And is the film unsinkable as a box-office success? Read, and find out! P.19

Arts What do you get when you put Superwoman and Superman together? Superteams, of course! Plus, Granite City Challenge! P.24


View from 6th Floor of the Library, looking towards the Zoology Building Photo/ Claire Wheelans

The plan of the proposed route Photo/ Aberdeen City Council

and did not object to the council acquiring it. Access to the zoology building will also be affected during construction as the council will take temporary possession of the entrance to the car park to carry out resurfacing work. Ross Grant, a prominent campaigner against the project and student at the university, said: “We don’t believe that this proposal will do what the council says it will. “They think it’ll alleviate congestion from the north entering into the city centre. We don’t believe that’s the case. All it will do is increase car usage and force traffic further into the city centre instead of pushing it out.” Around 300 residents of the Tillydrone and Grandholm areas have also been issued with CPOs and many have vowed to continue to fight the project. Concerns are still being raised regarding the financial viability of the project at a time when the Council’s budget is being squeezed from all angles. No specific timescale for the works has been announced while the appeals process continue and funding arrangements have not been finalised.

17 April 2012

The Gaudie



Dr. Mackie installed as University of Aberdeen Rector By John Simonite

On Friday, 23 March Aberdeenshire businessman and University of Aberdeen Alumi, Maitland Mackie, officially began his three year tenure in the role with an installation ceremony. The rector, an ancient post dating back to the foundation of the university in 1495, has been, since 1860, the students’ representative on the university court. Rectors serve for three years and appoint to the Court a Rector’s Assessor. Students’ interests are further served on the court ex-officio by the President of the Students’ Association. The morning ceremony started with a colourful academic procession representing civic, student and academic life in Aberdeen. University staff and students, along with representatives from the city and Aberdeenshire councils, Incorporated Trades, MSPs, alumni, and guests of Dr Mackie, attended the ceremony which was then followed by a reception in the King’s Conference Centre. The ceremony also featured music chosen by Dr Mackie including Professor Paul Mealor’s “Now Sleeps the Crimson Petal”, which was sung by soprano Jillian Christie, a fourth year music student. Tradition dictates that the University of Aberdeen’s new rector must ride down the High Street aloft a bull carried at shoulder height by students to the St Machar Bar in the High Street of Old Aberdeen, where tradition also dictates that he bought a round of drinks for his student supporters. Tradition however was modified this year as an ale-yard was produced, with members of the Student Association being called to empty it in a competition for a tub of Mackie’s ice-cream. Dr Mackie, Chairman of Mackie’s of Scotland, a prominent Aberdeenshire-based familyowned business, said: “It is an honour to be representing students of the University of Aberdeen. “This brings back memories of my own student days at the university 55 years ago – a wonderful experience which has

never left me. “I’m looking forward to supporting the Students Association, its president, Tessa Birley , and her sabbatical students in their objective of delivering continuous improvement in that experience.” Professor Ian Diamond, Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the university, said: “I believe that it is especially fitting that we install as our new rector today someone who not only played such a full part in student life during their own student days, but has continued an extremely close relationship with the university community throughout. “On behalf of the academic community I am very pleased to welcome Dr Maitland Mackie to this important role.” Tessa Birley, President of Aberdeen University Students’ Association, said: “I am really delighted that Maitland has been installed as our new rector, not least because of his commitment to environmental issues in addition to his knowledge of our university. “We are confident he will be a real champion for Aberdeen students.”

The Rector: Carried on a cow

Cheers to the rector!

Oil rigs: A smelly situation

Continued from front page worst case scenario of “six months or more,” said the minister of Total. Experts from Total S.A. project that the gas leakage can even end itself after a few days, exhausting the gas trapped in the chalk formation. However, if the gas continues to pose a threat and disables the platform from continuing production, the Oil Conglomerate has two possible options. Thus far, the primary drive is behind a tactic called “dynamic well kill”, which would utilise heavy mud (a byproduct of drilling) to plug and stabilise the well before it’s filled with concrete. This method may prove to be unachievable since it requires workers to utilise the Elgin platform as a work space for the pumping of mud. The highly flammable cloud, prone to atmospheric changes, and the pressure built up in the well, may cause technical difficulties. In case of failure, the company

Photos/ Claire Wheelans

“A major concern raised by this type of news is whether the continued propagation of the gigantic oil and gas platforms... is a concern that we should worry about” has a backup plan consisting of constructing two relief wells, drilled from adjoining platforms, to release the pressure from the chalk formation from which the gas escapes. On Thursday, 5 April, Total and Wild Well Control gave the go ahead for the dynamic well kill plan. They spent four hours on the platform, inspecting the hazards and further planning procedures. The conclusion of the Department of Energy and Climate Change, based on flight and water sampling data provided by Total, states that,

“aerial surveillance flights indicate that the sheen is dispersing naturally, and the analyses confirm that the sheen consists of a lightly weathered condensate that is expected to have a minimal environmental impact as it will evaporate and be dispersed in the water column within a fairly short period of time.” The whole fiasco raises questions concerning the history and prospects of the whole oil industry. Although a future of renewable energy seems more distant than in recent years, the achingly old North Sea industry, which began its life more than two decades ago, is long past its projected life expectancy. A major concern raised by this type of news is whether the continued propagation of the gigantic oil and gas platforms, throughout the world’s pristine environments (read: the Arctic) is something that we should worry about.

New Scholarships for Students Announced By Emily Thorburn Aberdeen University has announced plans to launch a new scholarship scheme abroad. The Tullow Group Scholarship Scheme proposes to cover the cost of student’s tuition, travel and expenses when studying in African and Southern Asian countries. The scheme, which has been developed by Tullow Oil (managed by the British Council) aims to train postgraduate scholars in order to allow them to later take up important vacancies, primarily in the oil and gas industry, primarily based in African and Asian countries. The proposal was widely welcomed by university officials. Professor Ian Diamond, Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the University of Aberdeen said: “The introduction of the Tullow

Group Scholarship Scheme to our strong portfolio of scholarships is a prime example of the University of Aberdeen’s commitment to developing opportunities for students from across the globe. “Recipients of the scholarships will have the chance to develop skills and expertise which will position them well for future employment opportunities in key industry sectors in their home country, whilst also benefitting from the unique student experience that Aberdeen offers.” Students from a range of countries including Ghana, Uganda, Gabon, Côte d’Ivoire, Kenya, Bangladesh and Ethiopia are welcomed. In addition students from the schools of Business, Law, Marine Sciences, Geosciences and Engineering are encouraged to participate.

The Gaudie


17 April 2012


AUSA wins £15K Grant By Graham MacKeith

On Monday the second of April Sean McNally, President for Societies & Student Activities, and Ross Brechin, Commercial and Communication Manager attended the Innovation and Social Enterprise Academy (ISEA) which is a scheme run by NUS Services. The scheme aims to help support students’ unions in their efforts to build new commercial and social enterprise initiatives. AUSA pitched alongside eight other students’ unions to a panel of five business executives in the style of the popular television programme Dragons’ Den. Three other unions’ alongside

Participants of the Braking the Silence March

Photo/ Henry Booth

Breaking the Silence with AUSA By Vita Zaporozcenko

On 17 March, the streets of Aberdeen were filled with carnival atmosphere brought to the city by the students of Aberdeen University. And it caused interest, too. The Saturday shoppers stopped for a couple of minutes, children pointed at the group of people who were dressed in bright t-shirts and holding banners that were encouraging people to smile and talk about how they feel. This event, that also included a clown, jugglers and a somewhat powerful band of drums was to “Break the Silence on Mental Health”, an issue that has increasingly been recognised as something that could affect any of us. Problems like depression and anxiety come with

increasingly busy lifestyles and can hit anyone – from a first year student at the university to a chief executive in a large corporation. one in four people in Scotland will experience mental ill-health in their lifetime, yet there is still a lot of stigma attached to getting support when these problems hit. This event was organised by AUSA Welfare Committee with help and funding from See Me, a Scotlandwide campaign for increased awareness of mental health. It was also open for anyone else wishing to participate. It consisted of a march on Union Street, for which it was given a minimum amount of space by the Aberdeen City council, an issue that has been brought up before, and a speech by Jenny Batty, the current President for

Big Beach Ball Festival By Claire Wheelans

This year, for the first time, Aberdeen will be host to The Big Beach Ball festival. The event will be held in the Beach Ballroom on 6 May with around 2000 people expected to attend. From 12pm until 1am for one day in May, people will be able to attend gigs for bands and DJs as well as see vintage clothing markets, craft stalls, food and drink supplied by local restaurants and boutique cocktails and bars. The event is only allowed for those over the age of eighteen – implying it’s less family friendly than other events hosted throughout the year - and music acts feature maybe less well-known groups including The Little Kicks, Heartthrob, Tiger & Woods and Slam. Organisers of the event said that “One of the aims of this year’s festival is to help develop the north- east as a location for global events. Music, arts and culture are an important aspect for the growth of any city and in turn the wellbeing of its populous. This goes hand in hand with one of the main reasons for a festival, for people to have fun and listen to great music! We have some of the top acts from around the world playing this year, across an indoor and outdoor arena, side by side with fantastic Scottish bands and DJs. Perhaps we give people a reason to come

to Aberdeen, and something for the people already here to smile about?” Students are also expected to be a large part of the target audience and festival organisers are aware of this: “With Aberdeen having such a huge student population in comparison to the size of the area,

Welfare and Equal Opportunities. On the success of the event she later said, “I’m really pleased with the success of our carnival themed parade through the city of Aberdeen. Over 60 people joined us to break the silence of the city, showing that mental health is something that should be talked about”. Other events that happened as part of the wider campaign included a meeting with Kevin Stewart MSP which was aimed at keeping mental health on the government’s agenda and a funfayre at Alfie’s which happened on the 19 March filled with freebies, games, a dance-mat and information from services within AUSA, like Niteline and outside AUSA, like See Me.

it is a demographic that is key to the city”. The festival will add to the list of Aberdeen’s different events this year such as the Jazz Festival, the International Street Market, the British Science Festival and the Armed Forces Day.

AUSA managed to receive funding. The Students’ Association of the University of the West of Scotland received money to help fund a staff member whose purpose is to help unions apply for grant funds. University of the West of England Students’ Union received funding to help set up a smoothie bar and Staffordshire University Students’ Union received funding to set up an in house clothing printing company to supply the entire union. AUSA managed to achieve the full amount they asked for, £15,000 pending due diligence, to help develop the back hall in the Butchart Centre into a Cinema and Adaptive Performance Space.

University launches recruitment drive By Dan Naylor The University of Aberdeen has launched a new recruitment campaign aimed at drawing some of the best and brightest minds from around the world to Northern Scotland. Up to 100 new academic positions are on offer in the university’s bid to enforce its ambition to be ranked among the world’s intellectual powerhouses. Established academics and those with recognised potential to be leading figures in their fields are being targeted. The drive comes as part of the university’s strategic plan laid out in March last year. Having restructured internally and finding a positive funding settlement with the Scottish Government, the institution is now in a position to invest in key areas where there is already internationally recognised strength. While the new posts are dispersed across the university, they tie to several new research themes identified for growth. The first, energy, is seeing posts created in energy law, finance and economics, and in geophysics and engineering. Under the title “Pathways to a Healthy Life,” new roles will include a chair in human nutrition, based at the Rowett Institute of Nutrition and Health. This will focus on diabetes and obesity. Alongside this, new posts in public

Demolition begins on the old library Photo/ ClaireWheelans

health research are being created, with a new senior role to push the university forward in the leadership of the science of imagery, in a bid to help understand some of the most distressing and devastating conditions of the human body. Hoping to attract both major research grants and research students from around the world, the university is investing heavily on soil science, crop production and ecology, keeping it at the forefront of the field. Mathematical biology, along with peace and reconciliation studies, have been identified as two new areas for growth. The former brings together maths with biological sciences, computing and engineering, while the university is pioneering the latter, from which conflicts around the world will benefit from three new posts to exploit the potential to develop this research on achieving compromise after conflict. Other areas of investment include language and literature, music, and the digital economy, which follows on from the £11.4m rural research hub. Professor Ian Diamond, Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the University of Aberdeen, has described the new investment as “another positive step forward in our ambition to raise us in the ranks of the world’s top universities.”

17 April 2012


The Gaudie

Features Editor: Hamish Mackenzie

Students standing in local elections Vita Zaporozcenko talks to the candidates running in the local elections


he local council elections are once again approaching us. The vote that will shape Aberdeen City Council and what happens in Aberdeen over the next four years is taking place on 3 May. The beauty of local elections in the UK is that the criteria determining whether or not you can vote covers a much broader population. To register to vote you can be a citizen of the UK, Commonwealth or European Union; this means that, more than in other elections, students can influence the vote. Student issues become more important to the candidates, and as a result , increasing numbers of students run for these elections. The “Be a Councillor” campaign is there to encourage people to run in their local elections. A quote from Councillor Laura RobertsonCollins (Labour, Liverpool), published on their website claims that: “Councillors need to reflect the communities they serve, empathise with local residents and communicate effectively with them. Only by ensuring there is a good range of councillors can we hope to do this. It is vital that political parties have a good stream of new, capable people coming through the ranks, to ensure that those who hold seats do not become complacent.” Impassioned students are often proved capable and innovative during the student election process. However, the wards they run in are almost solely student-populated. Does this

“Will they ever truly understand the issues that Aberdeen is facing?” experience qualify them to then run in local council elections? In preparation for this article, I spoke to four students who are running in the upcoming Aberdeen City Council elections. They were Dan McCroskrie (Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party, Tillydrone/Seaton/Old Aberdeen), John Lind (Scottish National Party), Hilton/Stockethill), David Green (Scottish Liberal

David Green

Democrats, Tillydrone/Seaton/ Old Aberdeen) and Daniel Juett (Scottish Green Party, Bridge of Don). I asked them about their hopes and concerns with taking up the challenge of becoming a local councillor. Dan, a third year student at the University of Aberdeen, is proud to have: “organised the first ever University of Aberdeen InterPolitical Societies Night Out” while

comes with their own political views, but overall, all three of them have a clear vision on where Aberdeen should be heading. The climate change and the effects it has on our lives has long been an issue, an issue that only can be resolved by making sure everyone does their share. Daniel Juett wants to fit solar panels on all council-owned buildings to, not only, help the environment,

Vita Zaporozcenko talks to two candidats for the local elections in his first year, it turned out to be a: “resounding success.” Daniel is a fourth year University of Aberdeen (UoA) student who claims that he avoided student politics altogether and never went to a single AUSA Council meeting during his time at the university. David is a second year UoA student. His most memorable moment from university so far has been when Alistair Carmichael MP described an event that he organised as President of Aberdeen Liberal Youth: “the best party function in years.” John Lind is a second year student at Scottish Agricultural College. These three individuals represent a total of ten current students running at the election for a council consisting of 43 councillors. Each of them, of course

Photo/ David Green’s Facebook

but also to reduce fuel poverty for those living in council houses and to generate extra income for the council. David Green would also like to help the environment through further increase of the household recycling in Aberdeen to 50%. He also has many other things he would like to do, including standing up for students. Tillydrone/Seaton/Old Aberdeen, is probably the most studentpopulated ward in Aberdeen. Over the years there have been a lot of issues with the council regarding lighting in Seaton Park for the safety of the residents of Hillhead which is one of the things that Dan McCroskrie would like to do and campaigning for this issue was actually what lead him to the decision to run for the election. David, however, believes that he was chosen by his local party because the importance of the student population in the ward and belief that student would best represent student needs. John Lind would like to solve the problem of social housing in Aberdeen and through his hard work and determination at council level show that the best people to run Scotland are those who live there. Most of you will probably now be asking: what about their degrees? They are still students after all. Their assignments are still due the same time as ours, course readings are still as long. How do they plan to add the workload of councillor to the workload of full-time student? Fortunately for John, Scottish Agricultural College allows you to receive a qualification after every year spent there which means

that he will be leaving full-time education to “focus entirely on the job in hand if the people of Hilton/ Stockethill choose to elect him as one of their three councillors”. The same course of action will be taken by Daniel Juett as he is about to graduate this summer and believes that he would not be running for the election if this was not the case. When thinking about who is going to do a better job, many

Photos/ Claire Wheelans people often forget that a lot of current councillors work full or part time along with their post. This is exactly what Dan and David are planning to do. Both of them have already been juggling extracurricular activities and academic work and they both believe that they can learn from their previous experience and make it work. Furthermore, Dan would be a final year student which would leave him with three years after he graduates to solely focus on issues at hand. After-all, there have already been student councillors sitting on Aberdeen City Council Before, like Councillor John West, who was on the Council at the age of 18. So there will be no running away from those deadlines! The road to a political post of any

Daniel Juett\

importance is often very tough. These three individuals have so far been able to convince their local party to give them a chance, now it is time to also convince the general public. But what about those closest to them? I cannot think of any successful individual who would not have the support of the people round them. Thankfully, our four candidates have not experienced any negative reactions from their friends, peers and families. John, although, admits that most of his friends and family are oblivious to what is happening politically are still very supportive of his decision, while David and Dan are both being supported heavily by their families and friends. Daniel admits that, although supportive, “Some people are slightly bemused as they see politics as for older people and many see local government as the domain of pensioners”. Finding out more about the people that are running at the election in May has opened my eyes. Does it really matter that your councillor has a thesis or report due in couple of weeks? How is this different from a business meeting in two hours? If council is supposed to be a representation of the local community, Aberdeen should be the place for student councillors. But then again, if a student comes to Aberdeen, lives here for 12 months and then runs for an election, will they ever truly understand the issues that Aberdeen is facing?

Disclaimer Whilst every attempt was made to contact all of the candidates, no reply was received from the Labour candidates, at the time the article was written.

Photo/ David Green’s Facebook


The Gaudie

17 April 2012


Private accommodation: How much do you know?

Maria Suessmilch investigates how students live in Aberdeen after halls and explains tenants’ rights


oving into your first own flat is one of the major milestones in life. After years of parental dictatorship we finally have the freedom to leave our room messy at any time and eat pizza for breakfast. We never think of the moments when we might not able to pay rent or even find a couple of quid to by beans and toast. What many forget is that having your own flat means having responsibility, for paying rent, for example. When I first met Sophie* in a lecture at the beginning of the year she was excited about moving in with her friends. I know they searched for a while to find a suitable property, most of all because they were looking for a good price. But now, seven months later, Sophie’s dream home turned into a grown up nightmare. We are sitting on her bed, which is just a mattress on the floor. She lives in a two bedroom flat together with three other girls. “The landlord doesn’t know that four people are living in this flat. But we had to find another person so we could pay the rent.” Renting prices in Aberdeen are extremely high. In fact Aberdeen is the second most expensive city in the UK after London when it comes to renting prices. Though each of them only pays £180 per month it’s just cheap enough to live in if you have a slender income of £440 student loan. The four girls share two bedrooms, a small kitchen and living area and a bathroom with no hot water, because the boiler is broken. “The landlord knows about it but he just doesn’t bother.” Looking around the flat you see many things he doesn’t seem to bother with. The bedroom doors don’t close and the windows barely open, but these are just tiny inconveniences compared to the furry green lodgers they have. “A couple of weeks before Christmas, mould started growing in the rooms and it got really bad after we came back from holidays.” She offers me a cup of tea and we walk around the flat. The bedroom walls have green mould and the living room has black mould stains. While we chat and walk through the flat, Sophie starts coughing and takes out her inhaler. “My asthma has got progressively worse since I moved into this flat,” she explains, “sometimes I could just sit in the room and do nothing and it would trigger my asthma.” The landlord knows about the mould in the flat, but does not attempt to solve the problem and neither do the girls attempt to take legal action. Douglas Bain, a teaching fellow in the law department, only shakes his head at this behaviour of landlord and tenant. “When you have mould it’s a problem with the wind and water tightness of the property which is covered under the statute of repairing standard. “If the landlord doesn’t do anything about the problem the tenant can pursue an action against him in small claims for anything that’s damaged, including your health providing you have issues of proof.” In his hand he holds the Housing (Scotland) Act 2010 and

several other documents protecting the rights of tenants in Scotland lay across his desk. “The Scottish Government has got a fair number of statutes covering private renting and the law is tightening up.” He tells me that the government constantly produces new statutes in which tenant’s rights and landlord’s responsibilities are pinned down more precisely than ever. We browse through the Scottish government website

whether the landlord passes a fit and proper person test.” HMO licences guarantee the tenants that the property has all necessary safety features, is in a good and habitable condition and is rented out by a responsible landlord. The Private Landlord Registration is the most recent law implemented to protect tenants. “This deals with the landlord himself, not the property. In order to be a private landlord you must

The key to your first home sweet home or first grown up nightmare? and the newest announcements concerning tenant’s rights appear on the screen as we talk. I learn about the most important statutes for tenant’s rights in Scotland; Short Assured Tenancies, HMO Licensing and Private Landlord Registration. These are the three main pillars the tenant’s rights draw upon. Short Assured Tenancies are the most common form of tenancies and have become the norm in Scotland. The Perth and Kinross Council website explains that these tenancies “give landlords special rights to repossess the property and give the tenant special rights to apply to a Rent Assessment Committee for a rent determination” in case the tenants wish to leave the property before the end of the agreed lease period. Short Assured Tenancies must last a minimum of six months. HMO (houses in multiple occupation) Licensing is different. “HMO describes properties in which at least three people from different families live. That’s the classic student accommodation,” Mr Bain explains, “and even Hillhead halls have to be HMO licensed.” The landlord is responsible for getting his property licensed by applying at the local council. The council will then “look at the state of the accommodation, the state of repair and also check

satisfy a fit and proper person test, meaning that you do not have a criminal record and no history of violent behaviour or of complaints from former tenants.” Just like HMO licensing the landlord registration is statutory. Tenants can check online if their landlord is registered (www. landlordregistrationscotland., or check with their local housing authority (for Aberdeen: housing). “If you notice your landlord is not registered or has no HMO license for the property, then my advice would be: seek help from organisations like the Citizens Advice Bureau. Also the local authority [Aberdeen City Council] deals with these kinds of problems,” Mr Bain explains. “You will not be put in a bad position by reporting your landlord and your rights as tenants won’t change.” Even if you know your landlord has an HMO license for the property, but you don’t think it meets the standards anymore “contact your local authorities and they are then in the position to check the property and if necessary carry out the repairs and charge

the landlord for it.” Four years ago this knowledge would have saved Max time, trouble and lots of money. As a second year student he moved into a five bedroom house in Aberdeen with four other friends, and soon after they settled in the problems began. “The landlord never gave us our copy of the contract,” Max starts telling me. “So, we rented a flat without having a piece of paper

Photos/ Claire Wheelans that would prove this and protect our rights.” A couple of months into the lease one flatmate decided to move out at which point the landlord himself moved in. “He was really difficult to live with and he refused to pay his share of the bills even though he caused additional costs.” In the end the landlord left the four students w i t h unpaid bills, refused to pay back their deposit of £340 (each) and changed h i s address and phone number right

after the end of lease. Why didn’t they seek advice? “I don’t know. I didn’t feel confident enough and didn’t really know where to go to.” Most students I talked with felt the same way. “I think my landlord’s whole

intention was to screw us over, because we were students and we didn’t really feel confident enough to complain. They think students are an easy victim,” another student says, who has been treated badly by his landlord. Yet help is always within reach for students. “In these situations you absolutely must get advice and help,” Mr Bain stresses. “The important thing in each case would be to get evidence. You must show that you notified the landlord. So write to him, set a date on the document, keep a copy, send it as certified mail and take photographs of the faulty things.” The Royal Mail’s “Recorded Signed For” service confirms the delivery of a letter with a signature and prices start from 77p plus stamp fee. Most of the problems between student and landlord can be settled in private, but even if you need to go to court, such cases will be settled as small claims. These count as minor proceedings and have no expenses, meaning you pay nothing, even if you lose the case. However, often it is enough to approach the landlord with the assistance of a third party, like the Citizens Advice Bureau or the AUSA Student Advice Centre. The Advice Centre, which is located in Butchart, helps students with private accommodation problems. They can give you advice on how to react to problems with your landlord and even help you writing letters of complaint. “Sites like www.scotland.shelter., or the local city council website ( are all helpful sources to find out about your rights and responsibilities as a tenant,” Mr Bain adds at the end of our conversation. Sophie says: “In a way the landlords are holding a lot of cards; you need somewhere to live, somewhere near uni, so they can charge whatever they like, but I can’t pay what they would like me to.” She is right; but the high renting prices will not drop, and we cannot bury our heads in the sand. Even Sophie found a way to make ends meet the proper way. She has a part-time job now and her prospects for next term are looking better. Even though renting a property is linked with lots of responsibility it is the landlords responsibility towards you that remains most important. You have to assure that you live in a healthy and habitable environment, if your landlord fails to do so. The law is on your side and help is always at hand, you just have to use it. *Name has changed


17 April 2012

The Gaudie




to private accommodation Renting a flat Always view the flat before you 1contract rent it. Getting out of a signed is not possible just like that.


Check if the landlord is registered (property HMO licensed if applicable) before you sign anything. If he is not, nothing can guarantee you that he is a trustworthy and responsible landlord.


Ask for the contract a week in advance, so that you can go through it yourself with plenty of time. Make sure you understand every bit of it and ask the landlord if you don’t understand anything.

If you move in with friends 4 make sure that everyone gets his own contract, so that everyone has got the same rights and responsibilities.

When you sign the contract, the 5 first thing you need to do is go through the inventory list of the

property and check if it is complete and correct. If not, add the changes and contact the landlord as soon as possible. In most cases you have one week of checking this.

How to treat mould problems 1

Contact your landlord or letting agency in writing immediately. If they don’t respond go and seek advice at the Citizens Advice Bureau or Student Advice Centre.

Viewing a flat your time to walk through 1beTake all the rooms. Don’t let yourself rushed. Don’t just see the flat, feel it. 2 Go along the window walls with your hands and feel if it’s damp; this could be a hint for mould. Open and close doors and windows and cupboards to check if they work.

photographs of the mouldy 2Take area. Ask for the Energy Efficiency 3 Certificate, which must be Ventilate your rooms sufficiently shown in every flat, so that you 3 – leave the window open for 10- see if the property needs lots of 15min after you wake up. Ventilate more often and longer your wet laundry in your room. Then turn on the heating and get the room to normal room temperature (18°C-20°C).


Open your closet and all drawers with clothes in when you ventilate the room. You have to pay attention that the mould spores won’t start growing on your clothes, so ventilate the closet as well, though it would be best to remove them from the mouldy room.


Never try to clean off mould with water – humidity makes it worse.

heating or not.

Ask if the furniture is included. 4 If yes, what exactly? Washing machine, tumble drier, TV and

microwave as well? Will all the furniture as you see it be included? That’s not a matter of course!


Ask neighbours how living in this house and area is. Is it safe and quiet? Is a food store and bus stop near by? Don’t be shy; learn from the experiences of others.


Did you take a look at the outside of the building? Is it in good condition? Is there moss on the outside wall? This could be a hint to mould in the flat. if everything is in good 7See working condition or if somethings need to be repaired. t h e m



a n d don’t go by “what you see is what you get”. Does the flat 8 have broadband and phone sockets?

Are they conected? Try to talk to BT if the landlord or agent cannot tell you, because it can get expensive if you install one. Ask if you are allowed to 9 change the decoration in the flat or if you can hang pictures.

Helpful web links Average renting Information on rights and responsibilities of tenants & landlords housing Help point for problems with your landlord in Aberdeen as well as check point for landlord registration and HMO licenses w w w . a u s a . o r g . u k / studentadvice Student Advice Centre, they help with questions concerning private housing and contacting your landlord Private Rented Housing Panel Scotland, info and advice for tenants w w w . landlordregistrationscotland. To check if your landlord is registered Here you can find your local Citizens Advice Bureau

prices in Aberdeen


Average asking price (per month)

1 Bed Flat


2 Bed Flat


3 Bed Flat


4 Bed Flat


5 Bed Flat


1 Bed House


2 Bed House


3 Bed House


4 Bed House


5 Bed House



Best websites to Letting agencies look for in Aberdeen flats E v e n though it is a good idea to look for flats at local agencies or the local newspaper, it can be faster and easier to find suitable flats online. Thereby you need to enter the area you are looking for as well as the price range. Pay attention to what you enter, is it price per month or per week? Is the flat furnished or unfurnished? If the ad doesn’t include pictures of the property, try looking for the agent’s website.

Martin & Co 123 Rosemount Place Aberdeen Aberdeenshire AB25 2YH Tel: 0843 471 6538

Simpson Brebner & Partners 60 Rosemount Place Aberdeen Grampian AB25 2XJ Tel: 0844 635 9366 Aberdein Considine 420 Union Street Aberdeen AB10 1TQ Tel: 0844 635 2285 Aberdeen Property Leasing Rosemount house, 138-140 Rosemount place Aberdeen Scotland AB25 2YU Tel: 0844 635 4412


Margaret Duffus Leasing 14 Seafield Road Aberdeen AB15 7YT Tel: 0844 635 9432



The Gaudie

17 April 2012

Opine Editor: Alasdair Lane

Who says you can’t go home?


Emily Thorburn ponders the significance of leaving home for university, and what it feels like to return.

Nick Marshall expresses his freedom to be a Man — with (almost) all it entails...


’m an English student, which means you’re going to have to forgive me for doing the incredibly awkward thing of beginning this article with a quote from a novel. While writing in clichés and randomly quoting from banal works of literature is something I generally try to avoid, on this occasion I felt it was rather fitting. In his 1940 novel, Thomas Wolfe commented that: “You can’t go home again”, conveying the idea that once you’ve left your childhood home, flown the nest and packed your life in cardboard boxes, you can never truly return. The place you dubbed “home” for however many years simply becomes a memory, and while we may return for a visit, it will never truly be “home” again. To me, this statement is especially poignant for students. As a group we are known for dividing our time between university and our hometowns. And why do we still continue to spend a lot of time at home? Is it so that we can fulfil our moral duty of visiting our families? Or is it because we enjoy the trip down memory lane? Or is it simply because the place we have left behind is and always will be our home? I can remember my first day of university: lugging boxes up three flights of stairs, the fresher’s cliché of decorating my room with photos, fairy lights and a general assortment of junk, and the first conversations I had with my new flatmates. And, of course, the parting words of my parents, the

Smile, you can always go home!

“I’ll call you everyday speech” and the assurances that I was only a three hour train journey away. And I remember being sure, as I looked around my new room and contemplated my new independence, that something would happen that night, some sort of shift would occur, taking me from the school girl I had been a few months before to a student, capable of living and coping without home comforts and constant parental affection. Perhaps I had just had a bad bout of fresher’s flu making me delusional, or perhaps, I was drunk and emotional (much more likely, it was fresher’s after all!) but I was convinced that Aberdeen was a sort of promised land, where I would grow, mature and where ultimately I would enjoy being more than in my hometown. Returning home for Christmas, I couldn’t help but feel I was taking a step back in time. Suddenly, I was cast back into bickering with siblings over what TV show to watch and outright arguing with my parents (yes, I’ve done the dishes Mum and no, I will not be home by midnight, Dad). Living away from home truly gives us the chance to forget all the good advice our parents gave us and develop some rather questionable habits. It turns out not everyone thinks that hiding under a duvet, eating supernoodles and watching The Big Bang Theory is a delightful way to spend a Tuesday afternoon. Now, remember that shift into adulthood that I mentioned earlier? Well, as you can probably guess, it didn’t happen that Christmas, or

in first year at all. For me it came upon returning home for summer. Despite its difficulties of finding jobs, readjusting to tolerate your family’s bad habits (and them learning to tolerate yours) it did make me understand two things I had failed to grasp in the past few months and I will unveil these to you now: Number One: being able to cook some basic macaroni cheese and do your own washing does not mark your independence. Neither does being able to cook your own fry -up when hung-over. And Number Two: Our time at university does not go the whole way to defining who you are. When we move out, part of the work is already done. The experience of living at home, our schooling and the friendships already made have helped us to develop into who we are when we start university. Anyone who knows me well will know I’m generally fairly negative, offering a constant sarcastic narration of life, as well as a rather relentless hatred of a lot of things. So the next lines which express emotion and sentimentality are immensely difficult for me and will probably plague any writing career I go on to have, but still, I’ll give it a try. Our hometowns are more than the place where our parents live; they represent our childhoods, growing up and developing into who we are, and as such they will always be important to us. On this occasion, Thomas Wolfe, I disagree: you can always go home.

Photo/ I Don’t Know, Maybe (Flickr)


asculinity today, or at least within Aberdeen’s student community, seems to be represented largely by lad-culture or by tedious Chuck Norris jokes. Does this mean that the only ways to be a man are to be a self-conscious, peer-pressure led drone or to be a second-rate, washed-up action star? Both these representations of manhood are laughable. What society seems to want from a man is for him to feel guilty about his past suppression of women and to make reparation for it by being anti-man: as if the thinking man must atone for the sins of his forefathers by apologising for what he is and accept that the path to sexual equality means disparaging the masculine and championing only the feminine. Personally, I’m not happy with any of these standards of masculinity. I refuse to apologise for being a man. In fact, I am proud to be one. So here’s my idea of what “a Man” should be. A Man should not need anyone else to define who he is. He shouldn’t need to look like anything, smell like anything or act like anything but what it is his nature to be. He shouldn’t need to be hyper-groomed and meticulously dressed, because the ludicrous level of image management promoted by popular culture screams a need for approval – why should a Man need anyone’s approval but his own? Why should a Man need to be an aesthetic object? A Man is made attractive not by how “pretty” or pleasing on the eye he is but on how inescapable his presence is within his environment. Part of that presence is generated by the way he smells. Humans are influenced more by their sense of smell than is generally realised so a Man should not be concerned with masking his natural smell – the smell of hormones, which is so important to non-verbal communication. A Man is, primarily, a biological being, so why should he show any aversion to his biology? Why be ashamed to sweat, to eat, to lust? So long as we retain the power to intervene between our nature and our actions, why should our biological functions and impulses be ignored? A Man ought not be afraid to assert himself. Conviction in one’s opinions and the confidence to disagree with others are traits that are often dismissed in men as arrogance: something we are led to believe is an unattractive quality. But providing one is capable enough a thinker to consider many different view-points on an issue, what is wrong with expressing confidence in your opinions? Surely it’s better to display a healthy degree of arrogance than to forever bow to the judgement of others whilst inwardly seething with views you will never muster the courage to communicate. If we can all trust one another to defend our convictions and question those of others, should a person develop a belief that is faulty or potentially destructive, we can

Is this a Man? Photo/ dok1 (Flickr) rely on society to set him straight rather than merely to comply with faulty reasoning. A Man should be rational – and by rational I do not mean simply that one should opt to read Richard Dawkins over religious texts. Rationality is a personal quality that is developed through introspection and patience. It is not the rejection of emotion (for reasoning that fails to factor in human nature is clearly faulty) and it is certainly not the blind acceptance of science as a means to gloat over religion. Indeed, a religious belief that is carefully considered is a form of rationality. At the very centre of clear reasoning is the acceptance that absolute knowledge is beyond any one mind and that what one believes has no bearing whatsoever on the world around him. I also see little value in the idea of “being in touch with your emotions” if being in touch with your emotions means ceaselessly talking about them. A Man should be able to deal with his emotions independently, without being constantly preoccupied and influenced by them. Emotionality, like sexuality, is a vestige of our deeper animal nature, and, therefore, should be expressed with restraint. To surmise, a Man is comfortable with his nature and unwilling to compromise it for the satisfaction of others; he is confident in his right to make his presence felt within his environment, and he is selective and self-critical in his beliefs. And is whether or not a person aspires to be all of these things determined by sex or gender? No. When civilisation was forged these were the ideals of what a civilised human being should be. Perhaps these ideals were believed to be achievable only by males, but we know better now, so it is faulty to assume that masculinity is something to be phased out of civilisation. And so, regardless of who you are or what you do, I invite you to be a Man.


All opinions expressed in the opine section are those of the authors of the articles, and do not necessarily represent views held by The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie

17 April 2012


The Gaudie

Sectarianism Largest City




Jonathon McCreadie discusses religion in Scotland


consider myself to be Glaswegian because I grew up with Glasgow as my closest city, both my parents are from there, and I think that I have a Glaswegian sense of humour. Glasgow – for those of you who don’t know – is not full of bearded, drunken men with thick, incomprehensible accents. They generally have either an incomprehensible accent or a beard, but are always drunk! All jokes aside, Glasgow is a fantastic city and is very different from Aberdeen. I am very fond of Aberdeen too (hence why I chose to study here) but Glasgow is home for me. I don’t personally get caught up in the Protestant-Catholic issues (or Rangers and Celtic for that matter). Although I don’t have a preference of football teams, I would never display distaste for either side, mainly because football is just a game and not worth “religious” intolerance or violence.

More importantly, because my parents brought me up to respect the views of others and, in turn, my own too should be respected. With regards to religion, my family is mainly Protestant. My grandparents are active in their church and when I am back home, I attend it regularly too. Lots of my friends are Catholic, and one of my girlfriends was Catholic. This is not an issue for me — not even in the slightest. Back to the maxim I touched on earlier: everyone is equal, right? Try telling this to the University of Glasgow. It is a truth subtly acknowledged that Glasgow University’s School of Education favours Catholic applicants over all others. This all came to my knowledge when one of my best friends applied to study Primary Education after high school. She had good Higher results and is very charismatic, as well as good with children, and

Strathclyde University: A better choice? Photo/ aeu04117 (Flickr)

so I never thought for a minute that she’d have an issue getting in to any university. For those of you who don’t know, the School of Education at most (if not all) universities require prospective students to have an interview if they have met the entrance requirements before being given an offer or a rejection. My friend applied to five Schools of Education: University of the West of Scotland, unconditional offer; Strathclyde University, unconditional; University of Edinburgh, unconditional; University of Dundee, unconditional; University of Aberdeen, unconditional. What a fortunate position to be in, the choice of five Universities to choose from across the length and breadth of the country! How does this bear any relation to the above? Well, I asked why she didn’t apply to Glasgow University and her reply was simple: I’m not a Catholic. Taken aback, I asked her to clarify her point. Basically, it is a known fact in the world of Education that Glasgow University only admits those who have the grades, pass the interview and produce a letter from their Priest to confirm that he/she is who he says he is and that he/she does in fact attend Chapel. I was absolutely shocked and horrified to discover this. I do remember my mum’s friend telling her once that her daughter applied to Glasgow University and that she needed a letter from the Priest to study Education. When I heard this, I dismissed it as preposterous without taking it too seriously. I wrote to Glasgow University under the Freedom of Information Act to establish what percentage

Pseudo-Scientific Snobbery Josh Doyle explains that all degrees are just as useful as each other


ou’re at a flat party, you’re meeting new people, you’ve employed the all-purpose conversation starter, “so, what do you study?”, “Medical Sciences—”, “Let me stop you there…” Some booming idiot appears from nowhere. “Did you say you do science?” He continues with a condescending head tilt, cocked eyebrow, and smug grin hidden in a patch of month-old stubble — stubble he believes to be a very fine beard. He can’t have seen a barber in at least a year, his corduroys paired with a blazer and the faint whiff of a damp Meston basement. He’s just about refraining from jumping up and down, giddy with excitement; now he’s in his element. Now he gets to put some lower being in their place. “You don’t do science!” he tells you, as if it’s the punch-line of some hilarious joke. “I do science. I’m … a physicist.” He pauses for applause. His friends come and drag him away, apologising as they try to stifle his ramblings about maintaining the natural order of things. You continue with your time-tested conversation, learning that your new friend studies English. Boy is it a good job our physicist didn’t hear that. There is a strong held belief among many physicists, medics

and chemists — to name but a few — that they are better than you. Certainly we all feel superior from time to time, but rarely do we hold to it quite so steadfast as those in the pursuit of science. Even ignoring the idea that the schools of Language and Literature, or of Divinity, History and Philosophy, can be considered a running joke to many within the walls of Fraser Noble or Meston, the blatant and unashamed snobbery of scientists can be quite astonishing. Whilst Physicists are unquestionably the worst offender, their crimes are not exclusive to their department. There is some unwritten hierarchy of degree subjects; eternally somebody to look down on, to justify your own decision to study x, at least you’re not doing yimagine the shame of it. Assuming you’re not a physicist — I’m told only mathematicians outrank physicists, and they’re very quiet about it — you will have at some point in your time at university been told that you’ve chosen the “wrong degree,” that there’s something “better” or “more useful” you could be doing. The consensus seems to be that if your degree has to tell people that it’s a science — Medical Sciences, Computing Sciences or, God forbid, Sport Science — it is by definition

not a science, and you’ve no place calling yourself a scientist. It is the pure sciences which are held in the highest esteem, but why? There is an idea that Physics, and other pure sciences provide underlying theories which explain all scientific principals, if not any phenomenon in the universe. Students of these

“Students of these subjects believe themselves to have, a working knowledge of the universe and everything in it.” subjects believe themselves to have, “a working knowledge of the universe and everything in it.” That if they chose to they would be more than capable of devising an equation to describe the entirety of any given subject, rendering countless people out of work. These “Jack of all trades” pure scientists like to believe that because they understand the basic principals of all sciences, any subject devoted to one specific topic is a waste of time. If pure scientists had their way though, nothing would ever get done. The

Glasgow University’s religious policy: too archaic? Photo/ Bob the courier (Flickr) of those currently enrolled on their undergraduate programme listed themselves as “Catholic”. The response was that the University and its School of Education does not keep a record of students’ religions. However, in a survey that they conducted in the previous semester – in academic year 2010/2011 – over 75% of the students indicated that they “strongly agreed” that they wanted to teach at a Catholic school upon graduation. I understand that in order to teach in a Catholic school, a teacher requires an extra diploma to do so, which Glasgow University offers. I don’t see why all Schools of Education at other Universities study of these specialised and applied topics is necessary to build and grow as a civilization, but what is more important, applied and specialised sciences allow us to understand the world around us in a way that does not involve mere numbers on a page. Where inspiring and important ideas are not buried in cryptic formulae and equations. The world as a whole, not to mention a university campus, has to have students specialised in every subject. None are more important, and none could hope to even exist without one another. A healthy rivalry is good and in many ways unavoidable, but students of applied science and arts subjects have to stop accepting that a degree in a pure science would be “better” than theirs; relying only on the argument that, “at least I’m not doing that.” We have to move past this idea that one degree can be more “useful” than any other and take pride in our own subjects. Should any of you be lucky enough to be acquainted with both physicists and medics, you’ll know that the unyielding superiority complex of the physicist pales into insignificance when compared to that of the medic. The medics are however forgiven; they live in a far, far away land, they don’t understand the workings of normal society. More importantly, we may all someday find ourselves in a compromising position in the office of one such medic; it’s perhaps best not to wind them up.

cannot offer this as an additional subject on top of their Bachelor of Education and then there could be an even distribution of people and religions, more equal access to universities and less segregation. It shocks and horrifies me to this day to think that there is a religious pre-requisite to gaining a place at the prestigious university. Knowing this would actually put me off applying to an institution for any subject which advocates such a policy in the 21st Century. In case you are interested, my friend, who would have been an asset to Glasgow University, chose to study at Strathclyde University. Glasgow’s loss, Strathclyde’s gain.

Photo/ Kingsway School (Flickr)



The Gaudie

17 April 2012

Intercourse: Instructions inside John Lewis questions whether sex is worth the bother When I was seven I asked my dad what a condom was. It had nothing to do with the conversation we were having up until that point, and to me it was just another word to which I wanted a definition. My dad was obviously somewhat taken aback by this but explained to me that it was sort of like a glove for your willy. So I assumed then it must be something you wore in winter and thought no more about it for six years. In modern society, love and sex are what you might think of as the “dominant” emotional focus. This is not, however, a consequence of our very humanity. Indeed in ancient Greek cultures the default focus was glory or “kleos”. Sex was principally just something you did. Like playing pool. By comparison today we’re obsessed! We want

to know who is having it where and what latest and boldest new positions our celebrity idols are trying on their yachts? Then you make the mistake of emulating them and have to explain to your mates why you were in A&E for five hours with a broken leg. With a society so immersed in sex and sexualisation of generally nonsexy things (M&S I’m looking at you!) it’s no wonder the pressure can seem so great to join the oldest club in the world. Yes, you can see where this is going. Now I’m not going to sit here and write an article that sounds like a middle aged NHS day nurse called Pam who’s waving a perspex dildo around asking some terrified thirteen year old if he knows what a condom is. Rather, I thought I’d research the wealth of websites

and articles that already exist on the subject. One such one I found amused me no end. Aside from the fact that the website was trying to discourage youths from feeling pressured into sex, (all the while having a survey on the front page with the option “I’ve still not had sex”) the advice it did give was, at best, naive. “If you plan to have sex, we encourage you to talk with a parent, guardian, doctor, teacher, older sister, older brother or someone else with knowledge that might help you to think through your decision”, if we replace “have sex” with “take out a mortgage” then yes this can be pretty sound advice. Whilst the guidance itself is not bad, I can’t help but think the way the article has worded it has resulted in some confused 14 year old really ruining the family

Not investing in war needs to be just the beginning

Gordon Moloney questions the legitimacy of our Uni’s investment


ur university has about £25 million worth of investments, and the list of these makes interesting reading. Until very recently, the University had more than £150,000 worth of shares in GKN – a company that primarily produces automobiles, but is also one of the world’s biggest suppliers of parts for military aircraft. This is in breach of the University’s own policy on sustainable investment, which states explicitly that they will “not invest in companies which normally derive more than 5% of their turnover from armaments, tobacco products or pornography.” I pointed this out to them and their shares in GKN are now being sold – and this is great. The problem is that this isn’t the first time they’ve been in breach of their own policy. In my first year, I was involved in a campaign to get the University to divest almost half a million pounds worth of shares from other arms companies and, to the University’s credit, they did this. What this made clear, however, is that a better method of account-

ability was needed and the Environment and Ethics committee have succesfully lobbied for annual reports on investments to be produced. We’re also currently lobbying for a place for a student representative on the advisory oversight board. There is, though, a lot more to be done. While it looks like we’re going to be able to hold the University to their own policy on investments, they still invest in a lot of terrible things: 1. The University has over £400,000 invested in Walmart, but in 2006, the Norwegian Government Pension Fund  divested from Walmart, in line with recommendations from the Council on Ethics for the Fund, citing serious/systematic violations of human rights and labour rights.  2. The University has almost £280,000 invested in Rio Tinto, but in 2008, the same Norwegian Government fund divested almost £500m of shares from Rio Tinto citing “a risk of contributing to severe environmental damage” through Rio Tinto’s participation

in the Grasberg copper and gold mine. 3. The University has more than £415,000 invested in GlaxoSmithKline who, in January 2012, were fined 400,000 pesos by an Argentine judge for unethical drug trials on babies, with allegations including “falsifying parental authorisations so that babies — primarily recruited from poorer families around the country — could take part.” The debate around ethical investments is often framed in a misleading way; that a fund can be either ethical or profitable. This is simply not the case and the Church of England’s investment fund – hugely profitable while maintaining strict ethical standards – demonstrates this clearly. The University’s current investment policy is a good start, but it has to be just that: a start. Keeping our money out of arms and pornography is great, but not if it just goes towards funding climate change, union busting and kidnapping instead.

Christmas dinner that year. Virginity seems to have a sell by date. A friend of mine at another university once told me he had to sit through a game of “I have never” in which all the statements were to do with odd things during sex. He went home very sober that night. The fact that we have an expectation that by our age group we should have parted the velvet curtain, torn down the Berlin wall, sank the Titanic, and any other thinly veiled euphemisms you can think of, seems ludicrous. At the time of writing I have a wealth of friends who have yet to re-enact Basic Instinct, and most of these I found out in ashamed hushed voices. Thus for any sexually uninitiated reading, I could go through all the clichéd “you’ll know when you’re ready” spiel, but instead I think I’ll be the first to break the silence on this; between you and me, sex isn’t all that. So in setting out to prove that sex is actually a bit rubbish I spent the morning camped out on Union Street, chasing people down the road with a clipboard whilst shouting at them to tell me about their sex lives. This got me arrested. Once released I decided a change in tactic may be in order.

Now, when you have sex a number of things can go wrong. I know one person who found out they lose consciousness unless they take their insulin beforehand. The romanticised image is of two bronzed bodies sighing and panting away like some Spanish porno, and should anyone ever bother to include English subtitles on such a production, phrases you’d commonly see would include “no, to the left a bit. No, the other left.”, “the ceiling needs painting” and of course “Oh god, I’ve left the oven on again.” Drink up the romance. Sex, far from the firework display the movies would make us believe and is more a minefield of injuries as we fall off of sofas, into tables, out of showers, and out of windows; as one of those sodomites you may have heard of in the Bible or Mitt Romney’s campaign speech, cushions can also be a necessity. The pressures surrounding sex aren’t likely to go away soon. Best thing is to just ignore them. I mean yes, whilst it can be fun to have your brains bashed to pulp against a headboard twenty times a minute, there are some nights you just want to play Ludo.

Photo/ Hi! Rorro. (Flickr)

Leave my vagina alone!

Tessa Birley talks about her experience at NUS Women’s Conference Now I thought that would get your attention. Boys bugger off, sisters this is for you! On the 12 March three students from Aberdeen University travelled down to Leeds to attend the National Union of Students Women’s Conference which sets the national policy for the Women’s campaign for 20122013. The three delegates representing women students from Aberdeen University were Daphne Heijdelberg (a 3rd Year Anthropology and International Relations student who is also the Students’ Association’s Women and Gender Officer), Josefine Bjorkqvist (who is taking a gap year between her 3rd and 4th year studying Economics and International Relations as President for Education and Employability) and myself (Tessa Birley - Geography and

International Relations graduate and your current Student President). We were elected by fellow women students at one of our open women’s forum meetings. It was my first women’s conference as they are only held once a year, and the very first motion was “Leave my Vagina alone!” as submitted by Edinburgh University Students’ Association. It talked about the expanding market for cosmetic vaginal surgery and the conference voted to resolve to research the rise of labiaplasty and its impact. That was the first of almost three days of voting on motions, elections for the national Women’s Officer and Women’s Committee. Other motions passed included to improve sex education, fighting government ignorance on rape, abortion rights, support for student carers, more research into issues

international female students face (motion submitted by AUSA), to support the introduction of 50% quotas for women on management boards. Furthermore, it was agreed a letter would be written to the BBC to ensure that the Sports Personality of the Year is not “chaps only territory”, and to campaign to get Zoo and Nuts off the shortlisting panel in order to get Sportsister onto it. And that’s to name only a few! You might be wondering why there even is a women’s campaign? And less than a year ago I would not have been able to answer you. There are so many reasons, but let me give you my own experience. I had no issue running for election for Student President, and rightly so — I suppose the only reason I was a little nervous was the thought of all the public speaking — the main reason that women

don’t want go into leadership roles as we feel we are lacking in confidence. I went to a Presidents’ training event in London with all the Student Presidents across the country and suddenly felt completely outnumbered. In England, 79% of presidents are men, and in Scotland 92% are men: now I hardly need tell you that is not an accurate reflection of our society. This pattern is reflected across all of our society, including at our university, where on the University Court, there are only four women on a board of 28. It simply isn’t right or fair. So what’s next? Five delegates

will be attending the NUS Scotland Women’s Conference to discuss and set national policy for Scotland. We also have our standing committee elections coming up and there are lots of positions up for grabs so make sure you check out the website www. or come in to Butchart to discuss the positions available and to get a nomination form. For more information, you can e-mail daphne.heijdelberg.09@ or drop by Butchart on University Road, and ask to speak to Tessa and Josefine!


The Gaudie

17 April 2012


Editors: Anne-Claire Deseilligny and James Valentine

We prepared this Gaudie during the holidays, in the quiet of an empty campus. The seagulls were starved for lack of student lunches and a hush fell over the library, imprisoning those poor souls still labouring over their dissertations. By the time you get this paper however, silence will be a distant, and possibly nostalgic, memory. Posters, flyers, banners and campaign teams will be out and about, trying to engage you in the AUSA elections. This year, there is a record number of candidates, so campus will be as abuzz as it ever gets in this season. The activity will not end on Thursday 19th however (the last day of the election). Hot on its heels will come the Council Elections, in which a very significant number of students will be running (read about it in Features.) That has to be it for politics, right? Nope. A few weeks later, from the 1st and 3rd of May, we will all be asked whether we want to stay part of NUS or not. This promises much more active campaigning. So lots of things going on. But that’s not it. The Charities Campaign is having two of its biggest events very soon: RAG Week and the Torcher Parade. We can’t wait to see what you’ve all come up with as RAG Week challenges, but put it this way, we have no doubt someone, somewhere, will do something crazy. Good times ahead. As to the Torcher Parade, Gaudie is devastated that we can’t participate, due to a very unfortunately

Team Gaudie at the King’s Ball Photo/ Jonathan McDonnel

Editorial Team Editors Deputy Editor & Head of Production

The Sports Union obviously wouldn’t want to be left out, and so they’re organising a Race to Rio on the 12th May, the principle being that we cover the insanely large amount of miles from here to Rio in any way we can, running, walking, rowing, etc. You might spot a red and sweaty editor or two. The point of this long litany of events is not that we’re nostalgic for the greyness and silence of Aberdeen during Easter (we’re not, it’s boring), but rather that we are really excited. So many things going on! Obviously, as people who need to fill a news section, it is rather in our interest for loads of stuff to happen. It is about more than that though. How often do we hear about student apathy, and about how all young people are lazy scroungers who just know

Leo Heydon Lancelot Stockford


Aaron Murray and Henry Booth


Hamish Mackenzie


Alasdair Lane

The Granite Press

Stuart Hewitt

Life & Style

Conor Riordan


Jessica Cregg

how to get drunk? A lot (particularly if you accidentally open the Daily Mail). Things like RAG Week and students getting involved in local politics shows that this is at best a caricature. So, true, apathy is still very strong, as the usual turnout for AUSA elections shows. But we certainly don’t sit around and do nothing. As to what we do, we’ll just have to wait and see through this term...In any case, we’re looking forward to a few weeks of activity and fun. We hope you enjoy it as much as we will.


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Tasneem Mahmoud (News), Jo Polydoros (News), Monica McCarrey (Features), Samantha Worsley (Life & Style), Siobhan Hewison (Arts)

We would like to appologise for an error in our last edition. Our awesome News Deputy Editor Jo Polydoros accidently claimed that The University had recieved a £51m grant from the welcome trust when it was actually £5.1m, still... GOOD NEWS.

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Photo/ Claire Wheelans placed production weekend. We’ll console ourselves by looking at the fun that everyone else is having. Without us. No, not bitter at all.

James Valentine and Anne-Claire Deseilligny

This Term’s Content Deadlines Thursday 26th April Thursday 10th May

Investigative Journalism Do you hear about issues on Campus? Want to find out the truth about the big University issues? Do you have an interest in investigating but don’t necessarily want to write articles?

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Societies If you have something to say do so in The Gaudie Every AUSA society and sports club are entitled to two quarter page adverts in The Gaudie every year. Email gaudie. editor@abdn.

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NEW 2-BEDROOM FLATS FROM £140,750 A convenient location for university at a great price Donside is a welcoming and contemporary new development of sustainable and affordable homes down by River Don, and just a few minutes by foot or bus from Aberdeen University. And the good news for you (and your folks) is that Donside includes 21 modern and spacious 2-bedroom flats – all reasonably priced and an excellent investment. So if you’re still wondering where you’re going to be staying next year, it may well be time you got your parents down to Donside.

APRIL 2012


AUSA ELECTIONS 2012 - Manifesto & Elections Guide

What’s This Elections Malarky All About Then? Beginning of the Summer term, people are out in force handing out sweets, campus looks like a photocopier has spewed all over it – It must be the AUSA elections! What’s the point? I know what you’re thinking – because I was just like you a few years ago – what’s the point? It’s not really that important – student politics, who cares? But what if I was to tell you the lucky 13 who get the most votes out of the 37 candidates on campus this week will be making decisions on various issues which directly affect you; the price of your grad ball ticket, what’s on during freshers week and how much funding your society/sports club gets. Doesn’t grab you? What if I was to tell you, these are the people who, if you fail your degree, will fight your corner, stand beside you when you’re being questioned and argue until you get that degree back!

you want free condoms, accommodation assistance and financial advice? Do you want a cinema on campus? How Two seconds to make a difference about more computers or longer library open hours? What about more training facilities or fewer restrictions on your sports clubs? Cheaper food on campus? Anything you can think of to do with campus, university and AUSA 13 out of the 37 running will have the power to influence that change. I guarantee, in some way, they will affect your university life. Within this publication you will find all the information you need about how to vote, whose running, their manifestos and of course their pictures.

Grab a coffee, peruse this manifesto guide, make a decision, pop online and vote! Two seconds of your time could be the difference between a Influence change performance space or a Still nothing? Ok – do you Union, the pole dancing want Butchart to have society or the H20 society, an alcohol licence? Do a fail or a first. POSTER-GATE: Candidates’ posters around campus during Elections

What The Frank is This Executive Committee? AUSA Executive committee are the trustees of a multi-million pound charity. Most members chair committees that directly affect you, from Welfare to Sports - they put in countless hours to represent you. The Executive Committee is made up of 13 students. Six full time sabbaticals, each of whom receive a £17k+ wage in order to devout their waking hours to working for students. The other seven are volunteers who study

Working for you alongside the hours they put in working for AUSA. They will also be focussing on all the key points from their manifestos, which Accountable are in this paper, for you! These 13 people, for This is why it’s insanely the upcoming year, will important for you to especially be looking – because it’s all at making the Butchart vote about you! building work for you. all here to AUSA is changing through They’re for you, so make a new constitution and the work you vote for the appointment of external sure who is going to trustees, which will make person do this best – for you! it more accountable and approachable to all its members – namely you!

AUSA ELECTIONS 2012 - Manifesto & Elections Guide


Leo Heydon Lancelot Stockford

Anne-Claire Deseilligny

APRIL 2012

2012 Candidates

Thomas Bywater

Lawrence Perks

Jonathan Kerr

Duncan Russell

Callum Kerry

Gordon Maloney

Richenda Caroline Marianne Leonard

Victoria Anderson


Nye Gordon

Jack Jones

Chris Walters


Josefine Bjorkqvist Fanny Johannson

Adam Khan

Eve Flavell

Vincent Price

Stephen Armitage


Clare McWilliams


Daphne Heijdelberg

Steven Dale



Shane Johnson


Vita Zaporozcenko

Caroline Allan

Emma Carlen


Xander Brouwer


Marc McCorkell

Rob Henthorn

Hamish McKenzie

Yasemin Guven

Sean McNally

Gemma Riddell


Hannah Louise Smith

Megan Dunn


Joanna Wilson

Alan Moore

Elect Leo Heydon Lancelot Stockford for Student President



Bursaries are essential in these difficult times. I want to find financial help for RUK students, and postgraduates in particular. I want to protect the Arts and Humanities, subjects which cannot rely on private financing.


Student Societies do a great job as it is, but they could do with a lot more support from AUSA. This is why I want to reform the Societies’ Committee

y n g i l l i e

s e D

e T r i N a -Cl SIDE

e PRE n n A


My name is Anne-Claire and I am a 4th year Politics and IR student. I have decided to run for Student President as I want to ensure that new students will receive the same support I have benefited from throughout my time at university. I want to continue to improve our range of services and support for students.


The cost of accomodation in Aberdeen is amongst the highest in the country, and something needs to be done . I will aggressively campaign against rent hikes in university accomodation. I will put pressure on the City Council to lower the cost of HMO licenses. I will organise an accomodation fair in Hillhead to help First-years in their search and give practical and legal advice.


I will stand by you. As Student President I will put forward your views and the motions that will ensure we continue to attract the best professors, facilities, and thoughts. With more presence than an Aberdonian seagull, I am here to open the University to you. From arts to academics, sports to societies, University is an event of many disciplines. I will be there, FOR THE STUDENT, FOR THE UNIVERSITY, FOR THE JOURNEY,


FOR THE STUDENT  More Pastoral Care- The introduction of an ‘Academic Parents’ mentoring system for new students, to help avoid “I wish I’d known that in first year” syndrome.  Festivals & Culture, emphasis on exhibitions, showcasing the university’s historic treasures and contemporary arts.  Performing Arts Space. More access to facilities for societies. FOR THE UNIVERSITY  Openness –Transparency in university policy and finance; letting you know what’s going on in your University.  More Accountability for Advisors- introduction of post exam meetings, to keep studies on track!  Support for International and RUK students – more comprehensive support in securing bursaries and study visas. FOR THE TRADITION  More Publications - establishing online journals and e-publications making sure the best and most contemporary thoughts are associated with Aberdeen and the University Press.  Emphasis on Events observing the high points of the university’s calendar.  Your time at university- encouraging more opportunities and freedom to make your mark in the university’s long history. Over the last couple of years the University of Aberdeen has gained an award-winning library and a premier sports centre, but amongst these stands the crown of King’s College –testament to Aberdeen being at the forefront of higher education since 1495. While these are tough times for Universities across the UK, at Aberdeen we are still laying the flagstones of institutions that will serve to be our educational ‘rock of ages’.


We need to preserve, update and expand Joblink to help students find appropriate part-time work during their time at university. I would also like to work with the Careers’ service to ensure that students’ needs are met on an individual level.


Have exams in December, but make sure that students get a revision week. Make sure that all students have access to Erasmus and foreign exchange programmes, particularly in the case of joint-honours students. Better feedback and more advisors’ meetings. Clarification of the Honours’ system at the beginning of 3rd year for each student.

I want to make it their job to create a database of all existing societies and to publish this as widely as possible, so that students can join any society whenever they want. I would like to make it their job to organise inter-society events on the model of what the Sports Union do.


Minibus booking needs to be clarified and simplified. When you book a bus you should get a bus, no matter what your team is. Give extra support to small teams in their search for sponsorship from local businesses.


University is quite often a challenging and stressful time. I want to raise awareness about the support AUSA can provide when you have problems, particularly relating to drugs and alcohol. AUSA should make more of an effort to reach those who are most at risk.

Find me on Facebook Follow me on Twitter: @AnneClaireD1

EXPERIENCE The Gaudie: Current Co-Head Editor Two years as Arts Editor

Four Years: Experience in Communications, Marketing and Translation

Heavily Involved In: Centre Stage, Debater, Franco-Belarussian Association and Equal Opportunities Campaigns.

Jonathan Kerr #1 for Student President!

My name is Jonathan Kerr and I want to be your Student President. I believe the SA and the University need to be shaken up, and I feel I have the passion and enthusiasm to do so. I've been involved all over the Association, and the highest point has been Fresher's Week - it's a brilliant opportunity to showcase the SA to new students and I want to really build on that.




Vote JK for The Heart of the Association!

The heart of the Students Association is YOU! Too many students don’t know enough about their SA. Some don’t even know they’re a part of it!

Vote JK for Sports for Credits!

Commitment to a sport shows skills unobtainable in tutorials and lecture theatres: I want the university to offer sports as accredited courses, to encourage students to take part .

Vote JK for an Accommodation Forum and Database!

Students going on ERASMUS or medics on placement for six months face enormous difficulty in finding accommodation for the other half a year. I will put in place a database within the Student Advice Centre which will pair up students who need a flat for only six months.

Vote JK for Exam Dates!

Exam timetables are available a month before exams. For those of us who don’t live in Aberdeen and want to go home over the holidays, this is unacceptable.

Vote JK against Hidden Costs!

It’s a disgrace to think that the University believes it can blackmail you with hidden costs. I will force the University to come clean about the real costs of a degree, and fight to reduce them.

Vote JK for Longer Library Opening Hours! The current sabbatical team is pushing to keep the library open until midnight. I don’t think that’s late enough

Vote JK for Butchart!

I will commit the Students’ Association to investing money into the improvement of the Butchart Centre to its full potential!

Vote JK for YOU!



Who am  i?   My   name   is   Steven   Dale.   I   am   a   fourth   year   Property   student.       During   my   4   years   at   university   I   have   been   extensively   involved   in   the   Aberdeen   Students’   Charities   Campaign   through   the   annual   Student   Show.   This  year  will  be  my  4th  show,  having  been  Administrator  last  year  and  successfully  leading   the  show  to  a  record  amount  of  over  £56,000  raised  for  local  charities!      

What can  I  do  for  you?     Represent   YOU   and   all   students   by   tackling   the   issues   that   concern   YOU.   This   is   after   all   your  Students’  Association.  In  order  to  make  it  better  we  need  your  input!       Some  of  the  issues  that  concern  me  are:     - Raising  awareness  of  the  students’  association  within  the  student  population  –  lets   get  more  students  involved!   - Better   feedback   on   exams   –   would   you   like   to   see   your   exam   paper   after   it   has   been  marked?   - Exams   in   December  –   would   you   prefer   to   have   your   exams   before   Christmas   then   relax  with  friends  and  family  over  the  festive  season?   - A   local   forum   /   networking   group   for   students   who   may   not   be   living   in   halls   –   helping  all  students  get  the  most  from  the  university  experience.   - The   continued   development   of   the   Butchart   facility  –   we   have   this   excellent   space   –  lets  do  more  with  it  –  more  events  –  particularly  in  the  evening.   - Computer   and   printing   facilities   within   Butchart   –   giving   you   more   reasons   to   be   here!     I  have  the  commitment  and  experience  to  be  successful:     - Last  year  my  work  for  Student  Show  and  the  Charities  Campaign  was  recognized  as   I   received   the   ‘Most   Committed   Individual’   award   at   the   annual   Students’   Association  dinner.   -  I  have  worked  on  reception  at  AUSA  for  the  last  2  years  –  this  has  allowed  me  to   gain   valuable   insight   into   the   workings   of   the   Students’   Association   and   build   up   excellent  working  relationships  with  all  of  the  staff.   - I  have  a  ‘can  do’  attitude  and  very  much  believe  actions  speak  louder  than  words!     Thank  you  for  taking  the  time  to  read  my  manifesto.  

DALE OR  NO  DALE?   You  decide  –  please  VOTE!

Vote for Duncan Russell if you want to: • Extend library opening hours • Have exam results sooner and provide more feedback, allowing you to see your exam paper • Additional bursaries for students • More recycling bins on campus and Foresterhill to work towards a greener university • More water fountains, saves you money and it’s green • More bike sheds • Improve energy efficiency around campus Unlike other candidates, I have not made promises that cannot be kept. Vote for Duncan Russell, the realistic choice.

The state  of  doing  well  especially  in  respect  to   good  fortune,  happiness,  well-­‐being,  or   prosperity  <must  look  out  for  your  own   welfare>.     How  are  you  supposed  to  look  after  your  own   welfare  when  you  have  a  University  course  to  study   for  or  you  don’t  have  the  time,  or  you  are  not   confident  enough  to  talk  about  your  problems?     Welfare  can  come  in  many  forms,  and  from  many   sources  like  organisations  or  individuals,  I  believe   that  I  am  the  right  guy  to  run  the  welfare  in  this   organisation  and  hopefully  you  will  agree  too.  

My name is Vincent Eric Price and I am a third year psychology student and also a first year English and film student. I have worked in a number of societies including comedy, anthropology and I have been a committee member of the Aberdeen Radio Station. I’m also a dead actor. I believe that the Aberdeen University Student Association has lost its way in a mire of red tape and bureaucracy. I believe that they have lost sight of the fact that they should be there to support the students and to help give them the best experience possible whilst at university. If voted in I will be looking to achieve these things:                 

To end AUSA’s war on fun and to promote the enjoyment of students at the university Pronounce NUS as noosse To support all students in their lifestyle regardless of what it may be and to give them as many opportunities as possible To stop Dr NO To not interfere with the positions of the other sabbaticals by getting overly involved with their work Employ robot crows To try and lessen the complicated paper work and red tape that appears to defeat and move for more fun Withdraw British troops from Vietnam Send Kim Jong Un more cake To have more, and vastly improved, AUSA events To make more ties with groups outside the university to help give students support Give support to ugly ducklings in their time of need and onwards whether they become swans or just ugly ducks To encourage fun as well as learning To better support those student groups such as the newspaper and the radio station who do not fall under the societies umbrella To rename AUSA To have the University prepared for any potential visitation by aliens To support the independence of the moon from earth rule

These are the main points of my campaign though more than this I promise to listen to the students, even if this means arranging talks in lecture halls where they can voice their opinions. I am not running for the position for my gain but for the gain of others. Because of this I will also be looking to donate a sum of my pay back into AUSA as I feel the current sabbatical pay is too high. On top of this as an example of some of the more fun interesting things I intend to do I am looking to invent some new traditions for the university. This university is one of the oldest and could do with some silliness. Often people describe university as the best years of our lives. It is my honest intention to help make this true for every student no matter the cost.

‘SAFE STUDENTS’ ‘Safe Space’ for students; anti-bullying and anti-racism

More lighting on campus Transport – affordable night bus

Safe Accommodation; HMO license review, AUSA letting agency, “lock and key week’’

Welfare Wednesdays & Campus Welfare Wall –

additional Welfare information on campus which is easily accessible

‘HEALTH FOR HAPPINESS’ Better Sexual Health Education – raise awareness of STD’s

Healthier Eating on Campus – improved food choices on campus and a joint welfare/sport event

Increase Mental Health Awareness – a more



PRESIDENT FOR WELFARE AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES I'm the current Environment and Ethics Officer and over the last four years I've done everything I can to make the University a better place. I believe the Students' Association needs to take on the issues that matter and change students' lives and I'm running for President for Welfare and Equal Opportunities because I want to make that happen.

targeted approach with different mental health disorders

VOTE CALLUM KERRY PRESIDENT OF WELFARE AND EQUAL OPPS ‘EQUAL OPPS FOR ALL’ Improved Disability Support International and EU student support Mature Students Campaign Stonewall Diversity Champion Dedicated office space for LGBT, Black, Mature, EU, International, Disabled & Women’s officers

If you have any questions, please feel free to get in touch! Find me on Facebook or give me a ring on 07903700751

Vote Vicky #1 for President of Welfare and Equal Opportunities!


Why should you vote for me? 

I’ve been involved with AUSA for 2 years.

I’m a active member of the Welfare committee, AUSA’s LGBT society and the disabled students’ forum.

I’m passionate about providing support to students.

I am a friendly and outgoing person who is always happy to help people in need.

Why I am running: I’m running for President of Welfare and Equal Opportunities because I am committed to ensuring that students have the best experience at university and have all the support that they need. Campaigns for awareness and change are critical to ensuring that students have this and challenge issues that need reform: I’m a firm believer in students first not politics.

My experience: I have always been committed to promoting all round welfare and promoting equal opportunities. In my previous school I was on the LGBT committee where we promoted a zero-tolerance approach to homophobia. This year I have been a committed member of the welfare committee participating in various awareness campaigns including: Money Matters, S.H.A.G. week, Mental Health Week and I will be volunteering in Autism awareness month.

My Pledges:

Improving support available through the students’ association and university for those who suffer from eating disorders and mental health problems.

Increasing awareness of the availability of Student Support Services and how to them.

Work more closely with societies that represent various faiths and cultures in order to improve support for those groups.

Work with NUS to create bigger, better and further reaching campaigns to raise awareness of welfare issues and issues of inequalities within the university and AUSA.

Increase the Welfare and Equal Opps presence on campus especially around key times such as Freshers’ and Refreshers’ week.


RE-ELECT JOSEFINE President for Education and Employability

As President for Education & Employability, what have I done this year?  Improved student representation by training a record number of Class Representatives, increasing awareness of School Convenors and getting more students onto University committees  Improved the timeliness of exam results  Worked with library staff to extend opening hours during exam time and to ensure that student feedback on the University library is taken into consideration  Lobbied against the increase in tuition fees for students from England, Wales and Northern Ireland and pushed for bursaries to cover living costs  Worked with the departmental societies and encouraged them to put on study groups prior to exams  Worked with students to organise the first ever PhD Journey Conference in the UK. The aim of the Conference will be to provide support to future and current PhD students  Worked with Exchange ABDN to create an accessible website for ERASMUS students

If re-elected, I will: Create a learning experience the way students want it by: 1. Encouraging courses that are purely exam based to look into using continuous assessment 2. Extending library hours till midnight Monday to Friday 3. Encouraging the University to allow exceptions from class for crucial sporting competitions 4. Continue to work with DIT to improve wireless access on campus 5. Getting a new website for the Students’ Association 6. Actively encouraging lecturers to put lecture recordings online to improve YOUR studying 7. Exam results or assignments not back in 3 weeks? Creating a text-a-sabb service so you can let us know within a minute 8. Free bus travel to Foresterhill for Postgraduate Research Students 9. Start a national campaign to lobby SAAS to fund living costs for students doing their law diploma and to extend their services to Postgraduate Taught students 10. Actively working with local schools to promote and encourage young people to continue on to University or College Making students at our University employable by: 1. Making internships more accessible by encouraging the University to provide more scholarships 2. Opening up ERASMUS and International Exchange to 3rd years in order to increase the number of students studying abroad 3. Giving students the opportunity to do an internship alongside their ERASMUS experience 4. Work with the Careers Service to create a Study Abroad Centre where you could go for all your study abroad needs and queries 5. Make the Careers Service more accessible to Postgraduate students

To view my manifesto in Gaelic or to see my extended manifesto contact me at or find me on Facebook at Josefine Emilia Björkqvist

 A medical centre for students on campus.  Anti-Bullying Policy and Booklet: Formalising AUSA policy and publishing this produces a framework from which to tackle this issue.  First Bus- challenging high prices.  Lobbying against increases in the costs of student accommodation.  More visible, campus wide campaigns: Campaigns are critical and need greater awareness in the student population.  Better awareness of who your liberation officers are.  Bi-monthly work reports from your liberation officers to ensure productivity and accountability.  Trans* awareness – pronoun training , gender neutral spaces, and Trans* training for Sports Clubs, Societies and staff.  Post Grad Representatives on Welfare and Equal Opportunities Committees: ensuring better representation in AUSA.

Vote for Fanny I will work extensively WITH the university to enhance your Education

President of Education and Employability

What I want to change:

Knowledge is power – I will work to keep students informed of their rights and responsibilities regarding coursework etc., and of the support available to them. I will continue to inform Staff members about the role of School Convenors, and about how School Convenors and Class Reps can benefit the departments. I will also continue to support the wider implementation of the Peer-Mentoring scheme for a more effective learning experience. Communication is the key – As President of Education and Employability, It is not my job to say what I think the students want, it is my job to find out what the students want, and work with them and the University to accomplish this. I intend to increase the communication between students, AUSA and the University by further utilising the system of human contact through Class Reps and School Convenors as a link to students, both for information and feedback.

As President for Education & Employability, what have I achieved so far?

Transparency - I support the publication of Student Council material online prior to Council meetings, so that you have a chance to voice your opinion before decisions are made about your education. To make the most of this, I intend to set up monthly open forums as well as working through Facebook groups and the Education Committee Blog.

Why you should vote for me I’m the current School Convenor for Divinity, History and Philosophy; I sit on the School Teaching and Learning Committee, Student Council and University Senate, and therefore have knowledge and experience of working with University officials. I have been involved with the New Library project from the planning stage, voicing student opinion with the staff and informing students of plans and possibilities throughout the building process. I have the work-experience of eight years in café/bar management and of running independent projects. I’m fluent in Finnish.

Because Education and Employability NEED Fanny

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What I’ve done so far:

 Captain of the Men’s Lacrosse Team 2011/12  Member of the Aberdeen Sports Bursar Programme


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 Coached an u15’s development team in Aberdeen • • • •

 Received Blues from the Sports Union for representing Aberdeen while playing for Scotland’s Senior National Lacrosse Team

What I will do for Aberdeen Sport:  Campaign to limit classes on Wednesdays even further, no more clashes with away fixtures!


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 Provide more opportunities for you to represent Aberdeen, lists of national and county trials in every sport!

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 Regular face-to-face time with all sports teams, no matter how big or small, as running a club while at university isn’t easy! !

needed improved customer service from Kukri campaign for a flood-lit grass pitch

President for VOTE MCWILLY for better publicity for sporting events Sport so you know what’s going on 2012-2013 Clare McWilliams VOTE MCWILLY for training times that you need

Determined to introduce and help new sports in your Sports Union Committed to working with Student’s Association to create successful intra-mural competitions Eager to create new sporting pathways for students with disabilities

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President of Women’s Hockey

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 Regularly updated lists of events in Aberdeen, because home support makes all the difference!

Don’t be silly!

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 More control over your club’s training times, more flexibility and different options!

 More intra-sport socials like the Sports Ball, more often and open for all sports!

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Vote McWilly!

Caroline Allan Candidate for The University of Aberdeen President for Sport As President for Sport, I would encourage all the clubs to continue the hard work and commitment they have shown in past years, and also push them to improve every aspect of their club. I would hope that this year, a review could be undertaken into the way in which finances are given out to clubs in order to make it fairer. The size (i.e. the number of members/teams), the annual outgoings, and the need for equipment, would all be taken into consideration in the review. I would also encourage fundraising within each club, as I have seen from personal experience that one event can increase the clubs bank balance by more than five-fold with minimal effort from all involved. As President for Sport I would be more than willing to help with fundraising events given the opportunity. I have also observed that many clubs are keen to receive more coaching, as some clubs do not have, and have never had, coaching other than from members within the club. Whilst this is not a bad thing, and gives ordinary members, sports students and the like, a chance to exercise their skills and attend coaching courses, sometimes an outside perspective is useful. In view of this, I would hope to arrange with the clubs that desire it, coaches to be organised for as many sessions as possible. Clubs which have a better record of attendance and commitment are obviously more likely to obtain coaches who want to help them and so I would encourage club captains and team captains to motivate their team to attend training as often as possible. In conjunction with this, I would like to enlist the help of Physiotherapy students to work with our clubs to give them a variety of experience and keep our teams on top form. It has also been brought to my attention that clubs feel that minibuses are not available enough. I would hope to work with the Sports Union Committee to work on an online booking system or availability schedule, so that clubs can see when and how many minibuses are available. They should also be made aware that minibuses are generally unlimited in number if asked for well enough in advance. Minibus drivers are also in demand and so perhaps with encouragement from myself and club captains, more people would be willing to take the course. An e-group may also be set up to allow club captains to be kept up-to-speed with any changes that may be relevant to themselves, and where they can easily contact other members of the Sports Union and other clubs for help, whether they require a minibus driver, help obtaining referees/umpires, contacts in other sports unions or any information that I may be able to supply. Although we have a number of separate clubs, I feel it is important to remember that we are all part of one larger Sports Union and should make the effort to help each other reach our goals. We are a university to be proud of after all.

My Goals Give new societies the help they need by providing a

New Society Pack, giving information from room booking, to applying for grants, all in one place Aim for extended

opening hours in

Butchart and Alfie’s during evenings and weekends for Students, Societies and Student Activities Enhance the AUSA

website with direct support for all committee

positions and encourage the implementation of

personalised hand-over packs for all societies, securing successful continuation and running of each society for many years to come

Student Festival

– a fortnight jam-packed with events, so that if you’ve missed out during Freshers week you have another easy chance to enjoy a new society

Renovate the back hall in Butchart to a fully-functioning space for Societies

Increase promotion of society events

accessibility to society pages and events Offer maximum

Introduce the Aberdeen

Increase recognition for exceptionally hard working societies and society individuals Greater focus on RAG

Week for societies, getting

societies together and involved, showing off their skills, passion and raising money for charity

My Experience President of Dance Society 2010-2012: winners of Society of the Year two years in a row, attracting major sponsorship from companies such as Lufthansa and Aberdeen Airport. President of Psychology Society 2010-2011. Involved in various societies and committees since 2008. 1 year on Societies Committee. Winner of Most Dedicated Society Individual: with over 3000 hours currently devoted to the running of societies, meaning you won’t find a more dedicated candidate for this position.

Why vote for me? I am incredibly driven and passionate about what I do and I never do anything without 100% focus. I am experienced, hard-working, and I bring a fresh set of ideas to the table due to my involvement in a wide range of societies on campus and I will offer a sense of approachability to the Societies Committee, for students and societies alike.



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Eve Flavell for President of Charities

About Me: I am a fourth year undergrad and I have been involved in charity work and volunteering since first year. I am an active member of the Dirty Weekenders society which is a volunteering society that does charity work throughout the community with around 120 members. I became a committee member in second year and President in forth year. I joined the Charities Campaign committee in the same year motivated by a passion for charity work and I have found it deeply rewarding and I hope to be able to continue this in the future. Through my experience, I believe I have the vision, leadership potential and fresh ideas really help the charity committee grow.

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Taking the Charities Campaign forward into 2012-13.

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     

Support for international charities in an international university alongside our excellent local community work. Broadening of Charities activities - getting involved in events like Comic Relief and the Marie Curie Cancer Appeal Greater involvement from societies and students – Particularly other charity societies such as UNICEF and Marrow which would benefit from the administrative support a Sabbatical Officer can provide. Introduction of a Charities Christmas Ball Introduction of an AUSA societies intramural football tournament to raise money for the Campaign Promoting the place of volunteering in student life and encouraging more students to take part, with more open meetings, better publicity and helping students apply for awards such as the MV award and the Star award. Making our established events, such as the Fashion Show and Jailbreak bigger and better publicised. More intermural events, such as an interhall fundraising competition. Continue Rag Week and get more sponsorship and activities organised.

Vote Chris Walter #1 VP For Equal Opportunities - Ensure that the university provides unisex facilities in each building, where possible. - Lobby the university to provide affordable accommodation for students, including those with families. - More variety and cheaper food on campus, including vegan options. - Work with sports clubs to make them more inclusive. - Better lighting on campus at night.

I Will: Ensure that Volunteering at the University becomes a top Priority - Raise awareness of the benefits of volunteering for every student and ensuring that the process is as accessible to as many people as possible, and providing training where it is needed to ensure that volunteer applications go smoothly

- Promote safe cycling.

Help societies to integrate fundraising and support for chosen charities - Ensure that societies are aware of the assistance available for them should they want to show support for a chosen charity , and enable them to raise money in many different ways.

Experience: - Trans* Officer for Ab-Fab Society since October. - Worked as a young carer before coming to university. -









accommodation costs.

Vote Daphne Heijdelberg for . Equal Opps VP  Bring new life into the International Students Campaign  Have regular Forum meetings with students from equality groups  Create a safe and inclusive ve campus environment

Experience  AUSA Women & Gender Officer  NUS Scotland Women’s Committee

Vote Adam Khan as YOUR President for Charities! I have the energy, drive and enthusiasm to make sure that AUSA and the ASCC disburse more money to charities than EVER BEFORE!

I Will: Implement a unique, effective system for dealing with international Emergencies - Ensuring that in times of crisis around the world, students at the university can feel that they are contributing at the forefront of the rescue effort, and lending a helping hand to those that need it. Improve the standard and quality of the Torcher Parade - Increase the allocated amount of time and materials provided for building the floats for the Torcher Parade to ensure that it’s one of the best that Aberdeen has ever seen

For the past year I have been on the Education committee, gaining the relevant experience I feel is required for this role. I have actively campaigned for more, more for YOU, the students! I have done this by voicing opinions on the Education committee, council, the AGM and the University Senate, all to make a change. I have worked for better feedback, improving the library, working with ASPIRENorth to help widen access, helping the academic year working group, talking to staff and students and hearing what you want done by FISHing then fighting for it! Now I want to do even more. I want to work with you, for you!

 I want to bring AUSA to the students. Helping you to get more actively involved and know what we are doing, doing more on campus to let you see us. Helping you get the most from your time at uni.

 I want to hold regular informal surgeries so you can come and talk to me about what is going well, and not so well for you, on both the Old Aberdeen and Foresterhill Campuses.

 I want to continue strong links with university staff, students and the students’ association. They need to know we take our education seriously and that we will fight for it all the way!

 Allow you to feel like you can ask anyone for help wherever, whenever.  I want to make Class Reps more accountable to you and their School Convenors. I want you to know who they are and what things they have been actively doing for you!

I know that I have the time it takes to fulfil this role to the full potential and give it all the attention it needs and deserves. I am passionate about making a change! Communication is key. So if you see me on the go, stop me, say hi and talk to me!  And remember…

Alan Moore, Running for Vice President for Education, After having the privilege of sitting on the Welfare Committee for the last year I have seen the real and meaningful changes that can be achieved through AUSA. Later on in this academic year I found that I had a number of ideas which could well improve our education here at Aberdeen, and managed to sit in on a meeting of the Education committee and thoroughly enjoyed it. My polices are designed to ensure that we can challenge the structure which can sometimes limit and restrict us at University, which is a place where we should be able to determine how we are taught and what we are comfortable with. I want to push for fairer assessment in courses which have low allocation for coursework. I believe this rewards hard working students and gives us all an incentive to maintain study levels throughout the term. I also want to campaign for improved advising for students in choosing courses, I feel this is of extreme importance. I aim to do this by encouraging students who have completed courses to pass on their advice to students who are considering the various courses on offer to them. I also want to encourage the University to offer a greater selection of courses to honours students. I would also be interested into looking into an alternative to the CAS marking system which I as well as many student I’ve spoken to find needlessly confusing. I want to be in a position so I can listen to all students’ views on education matters, and from my experience as a class representative I have first-hand experience of the difficulties facing students in their studies. I am excited about what we can achieve as a Union. Thank You.

Joanna Wilson #1 Environment and Ethics Officer • Recycling o More recycling points Raising Awareness o Green Week Festival o Beds for Bees Campaign • Ethical Accountability o Awareness of University plans for tuition fees and other big issues

Reform of the unallocated expenditure system ensuring fairing allocations Lobby for additional Alumni Funding to provide club development Maximum student input into the new Aquatics Centre Strengthening links with University Sport and Exercise team Lobbying the University to provide funding for additional minibuses Events to widen access and encourage more students to get involved in University Sport Provide effective support for AUSA via the Executive Committee Training and support for club treasures in finance issues

• Sustainability o If it’s not Green, it’s not right

trade • Fair-trade o University to live up to trade city Fair-trade

Options offered at honours levels should be varied enough to give students real choice Making sure students know who to talk to about any academic issue. Power point slides made available in advance for all courses.

Megan Dunn For

Vice president Education

Help students to engage with the community and go into local schools and encourage students there to continue their education International and postgraduate students need to be informed earlier of their fee levels for the following year so that they can make the necessary arrangements. All students need to be informed of the loans and bursaries that are available to them, so that financial difficulties don’t affect your education.

17 April 2012


The Gaudie

The Granite Press Editor: Stuart Hewitt

Velociraptors and you: a survival guide

By Sam Huff Protégé of Dr. Alan Grant


irst of all, it is important to note that Velociraptors, though not particularly common, are no less deadly because of their scarcity and it is well-known that Velociraptor attacks are the second leading cause of death worldwide. In this article I hope to answer a few fundamental questions about Velociraptors and to provide you with information on what you can do to protect yourself and your family against an unexpected raptor onslaught. Why should I be afraid of

Velociraptors? If you do not know the answer to this question then you are already dead.

How can I identify a Velociraptor? Velociraptors are characterised by their long, stiffened tail, low skulls, sharp teeth and prominent sickleshaped talons. They stand roughly 80 centimetres tall. Velociraptors are also known to make use of camouflage when hunting. Long trenchcoats, hats, fake moustaches and Darth Vader voice-changers are among their favourite types of disguise. How can I avoid velociraptor

attacks? Do not open the door to anyone who is making growling noises, or who is noticeably scaly (grandmothers excluded).

Ensure your home is Velociraptorproof: deadlocks on every door, raised windows with bars placed over them at intervals much smaller than the average raptor can fit through. Or, alternatively, you could buy a house next to Sam Neill or Chuck Norris. Do not visit dinosaur research labs on exotic islands owned by eccentric millionaires. One commonly-used tactic is to challenge them to a game of Trivial Pursuit. DO NOT DO THIS.

By Stuart Hewitt Professional Meme Generator The 6th floor of the University’s panoramic new library is to be converted into a pay-as-you-go look-out chamber for tourists as part of controversial plans to raise funds for “all the s**t that doesn’t work yet.” Due to a myriad of technical hitches since two out of three of its doors were opened in September the £50.5 million structure has so far been used as study space. However, library officials yesterday announced plans to cash in on the panoramic views after unprecedented numbers of decibel oblivious tourists came to “gawp out the window.” Since manually overriding its “automatic” doors at the start of the academic year, the library has been hit by a plethora of problems; including broken lifts, disorientated engineering

students, patchy internet connection, liberation movement unisex toilet protests, power shortages and poltergeists flushing toilets “mid-transaction”. A library spokesperson said: “We can’t do anything about the poltergeists as they are both mythical and unionised. However, we do accept that there is a lot of s**t that doesn’t work yet. Unfortunately we spent the last of our money employing someone to put “out of order” signs on random lifts and toilet doors at intervals throughout the day for our amusement. By charging tourists to d**k about on the sixth floor we hope to recoup enough money to fix the hitches and hopefully spray paint “F**k you RGU. Who has shiny looking buildings now?” on the Eastern facade.” Student groups are enfuriated by the plan. AUSA’s Media Response Officer, Will E. Envy, said: “This is a fundamental breach of Social

ACROSS: 1. The final battle 3. Antibiotic 4. Trouble or difficulty 7. High temperature 10. Unit of measure 11. Inferior imitation 12. Not on time 13. Representing ecology 15. Italian dessert 17. Water (French) 19. Merrymaking 21. Greek goddess 23. Wander 27. Capital city of Ukraine 29. East Indian tree 30. Extraterrestrial 32. In a frenzy 34. Spanish poet and playwright, F. G. 35. Fruit with a hard shell 36. Mine 39. Show disapproval

Science students’ right to build fortresses out of Anthropology books, ignore the stunning view and post ironic homemade memes on Facebook. The privatisation of this University institution belies the rampant, hegemonic free marketeering zeitgeist currently engulfing modern society. Plus, we hoped to convert the 6th floor into a holding pen for the Men’s Rugby Club.” However, one student the Gaudie spoke to was more than happy with the arrival of the gawping hordes. 3rd year Politics and Obfuscation student Scraffton Dingleby said: “Well, when I’m not in the library I like to dress up like a Moomin, put on a gimp mask and do fetish webcam shows for German perverts. So a bus full of tourists staring at me while I study doesn’t really bother me.” Conversion work is due to start sometime in 19Oatcake.

DOWN: 1. Greco-Roman performance space 2. 19th century Russian novelist 5. Grandmother 6. Shackles 8. Greek Island, Cavafy poem 9. Diminutive suffix 14. Spiritual emblem 16. Central African republic 18. Someone who uses 20. Small pulpy fruit 22. Uncooked 24. Mythical priestess, loved by Zeus 25. Morning 26. Can be eaten 28. Ignite 31. Short for Arthur 33. 18th century English explorer 37. State of sorrow 38. Toilet

Important facts you must know: Velociraptors can successfully open the majority of conventional doors in under five minutes. They do, however, struggle to comprehend revolving doors. Velociraptors are capable of accelerating at 4m/s2, and can sustain speeds of 25mph across

open terrain. Velociraptors are vulnerable to fire, so it is advisable to bring a flamethrower when venturing outside. You cannot outsmart a Velociraptor. NB: carry a small book of calculus problems with you at all times. This won’t stop them in their tracks completely, but it will buy you some time. Velociraptors hunt in packs of three or more. Don’t be fooled into thinking you can that take on that scrawny lone raptor – you can guarantee that two of his bigger and angrier brothers are close by. Velociraptors have no concept of fear. Good luck and godspeed.

Dingbats E

Procrastinators By Stanislav Benes

Tensions in the library reach Fever-Pitch

Velociraptors are cunning and far more intelligent than you. You will lose and end up being violently disembowelled. Avoid grass longer than 1.5 meters due to the ‘Pokemon effect’. Velociraptors may occasionally appear at random in long grasses and dense woodland.












































The Gaudie

17 April 2012

Life & Style Editor: Conor Riordan


Style On Campus

Connor Riordan has a look at some of Aberdeen’s best dressed this week

Katherine Blake Studies: Linguistics & Sociology Likes to dress in cheap men’s clothes Describes her style as tailored androgony.

Nathan Bissette Studies: Music Describes his style as a country mashup.

Sam Varley Studies:Sociology Likes to dress in chinos, trainers and caps, he has a soft spot for polka dot patterns.

JOhanna Mocny Studies: History of Art Wears comfortable clothes which keep her warm She says her style is eclectic

Photo/ Conor Riordan

Photo/ Conor Riordan

Photo/ Conor Riordan

Photo/ Conor Riordan

The fresh prints

Leopold Byron tells us how the latest prints can help us with chilling out, maxing and relaxing all cool


rints are about to make their mark on men’s fashion for the second consecutive Spring Summer season. With checks checking out and plain shirts being reserved for a more refined look, this season will see even more curious designs entering the fold. In case you were away this Easter, Aberdeen has had one of its annual two weeks of sun already. Even so, that doesn’t mean you should let the cold grey prevent you from injecting a little colour into your wardrobe. With one more week of nice weather to look forward to, we can start finding those pieces to wear when it does eventually turn up. If you are looking at the best money can buy for some inspiration, then look no further than McQ Alexander McQueen and Gitman Vintage. Though the price is steep, coming in at £225 and £145 respectively, these shirts show how far prints have come since the days of Magnum PI. Nevertheless, it doesn’t matter

how far they have come unless you can afford one. Thankfully there are plenty of places to find great prints for cheaper. Topman’s Yellow Acid Floral Pattern Short Sleeve Shirt is a great example of how this style should

look, and it comes in at only £26. Also Hawaiian shirt specialists, Karmakula, have a good variety. This one comes in at £32 and is available from ASOS. Peace & Jam held at Snafu on Saturdays is a clothes swap shop

Yellow Acid Floral Shirt

Kauai Beach Hawaiian Shirt



where I’m certain you could find a treasure. Or check out some of Aberdeen’s charity shops if you fancy taking a chance. Try to always keep the shirts short sleeved to keep that summer look

shining through. To stop yourself overdoing the look, try and pair with a pair of neutral coloured chinos or something similar — nothing too loud — unless you’re like me and you can wear them with tartan shorts!



Surf Print Shirt

The Gaudie

17 April 2012


Interview By Conor Riordan


evi Roots, the Dragon Slayer who sang for his sauce and ended up outselling Heinz Tomato ketchup, takes some time to answer some questions and gives us his Apple Crumble recipe.

Has food always been important to you? Food is a huge part of my life and always has been. I have fond memories of being in the kitchen as a youngster. The smells and sense

Levi Roots

of occasion make cooking and food such a powerful tool in bringing people together. We all have to eat so we may as well enjoy it!

Why do music and food have such a close relationship for you?

Where did the idea for the Reggae Reggae brand come from? My grandmother inspired me to cook from a very young age and I always enjoyed creating new things in the kitchen. I began cooking my special jerk BBQ sauce at home and selling it at the Notting Hill Carnival where I had a stall. It was so popular, I decided to try and turn it into a business. I wanted to bottle a little taste of myself and of Jamaica where I grew up. My two passions in life are food and music and it was the music that inspired the name of the sauce. What would you put your success down to? Hard work and believing in myself. My passion for food and music gave me the motivation to carry on through the hard times. It’s not been easy but it’s certainly been worth it!

Have you ever tried cooking with Haggis? Yes, I cooked Haggis in Edinburgh as part of my TV show, Caribbean Food Made Easy, and there is even a vegetarian haggis recipe in the book that accompanied the series, which I call “McTumplings”. Where next for Levi Roots and the Reggae Reggae brand? We are expanding the brand internationally. We launched in Jamaica last year and that was a huge achievement for me. We’re branching out in Europe and North America next. Lowdahmercy! Photo/

The one and only Levi Roots

Apple Crumble


Levi Roots gives us his favourite Apple Crumble recipe

Samantha Worsley shows us how to make profiteroles


Ingredients: Choux pastry 150 ml water 100 g butter 75 g plain flour 3 medium eggs Pinch of salt Filling and Topping: 200 ml double cream 3 tbspn sugar 100 g chocolate Method: Choux Pastry: 1. Preheat the oven to 200 ºC/gas mark 6.

Bringing music and food together takes me back to my roots, literally. I have always been in to music and knew that I wanted to be a musician. Reggae music reminds me of growing up in Jamaica and is something that really inspires me. As does the food that I grew up eating there and have been recreating ever since moving to the UK. What is your favourite dish? Ackee and saltfish, which is Jamaica’s national dish. It’s fabulicious!

Recipe o many people panic at the thought of making Choux Pastry, but it’s surprisingly easy once you find the right recipe. Though this recipe is for profiteroles, the same basic recipe applies to chocolate éclairs and similar treats. The main difference is in the shape of the Choux pastry before baking.

Life and Style

8. Take the pan back off the heat to cool slightly, while cooling whisk the eggs. Once the eggs are whisked the dough will have cooled enough to continue. 9.. Mix the eggs into the dough small amounts at a time, until fully combined. You may not need all the egg. The mix should be dropping consistency, not runny. 10. Grease a baking tray with butter then sprinkle the tray with a tablespoon of water (the steam helps the pastry rise). 11. Using a piping bag or tablespoons, place lumps of the mix about 3–4cm diameter on the baking tray, spaced 2 cm apart. 12. Bake for 15–20 minutes. Once golden brown remove from oven. 13. Turn the profiteroles upside down and make a small hole in the bottom to allow steam to escape. Leave to cool.

For the filling: 1. Whisk double cream and sugar until stiff, then using the hole made for the steam, pipe the cream into the centre of the profiterole. Or if you don’t have a piping bag cut the profiterole in half and fill. For the topping: 2. Melt the chocolate in the microwave. Heat for 10 seconds at a time, stirring in between. Then dip the top of the profiteroles into the melted chocolate. 3. Either serve the profiteroles straight away or put in the fridge to chill for later. Note that if you leave them too long they will get soggy, so if you don’t intend on eating within a few hours, then bake the pastry and keep the cooled shells in an air tight container to be filled later. The pastry will keep for roughly three days, the question is will you let it?


rumble was one of my favourite puddings when I came to school in London. And you’ve got to serve it with custard or cream: that’s the rule. Ingredients: 4 cooking apples, peeled, cored and cut into medium chunks 30 g butter 2 tbsp dark brown muscovado sugar 5 tbsp rum 1 tsp ground ginger good pinch of cinnamon 1 tbsp plain flour custard or cream (or both), to serve For the topping: 200 g butter, cut into small pieces, plus 30 g to dot on top 200 g plain flour pinch of salt 100 g dark brown muscovado sugar Method: 1.Preheat the oven to 200ºC/gas mark 6.

2. Put the apples into a little simmering water and cook for 5 minutes, or 10 if you want the apple to be softer. Meanwhile, make the crumble topping. To do this in a food processor, put all the ingredients in the processor bowl and pulse until you have a breadcrumb texture. To make the topping by hand, rub the butter into the flour and salt until you have a breadcrumb texture, then stir in the sugar. 3. Drain the apples. Smear butter around a wide ovenproof dish (about the size of a piece of A4 paper is perfect) that gives plenty of space for the delicious crumble topping. Put the apples in the dish. Sprinkle over the muscovado sugar, rum, ginger, cinnamon and flour and stir them roughly into the apples. Spread the crumble topping over in an even layer. Dot with the remaining butter. 4. Put on a baking sheet in the oven for 35–45 minutes, until slightly brown on top, and serve with custard or cream.

2. Sift the flour and salt together in a bowl. 3. Bring the water to the boil in a pan, then add the butter and mix until melted. 4.Once melted remove the pan from the heat. 5. Add the flour and stir until combined. 6. Once combined mix vigorously until the pastry comes away from the sides of the pan. 7. Once this happens place the pan back on the heat and mix for a further two minutes.

Profiteroles: always better home-made

Photo/ Samantha Worsley

Apple Crumble: Fabulicious!

Photo/ avlxyz (Flickr)


The Gaudie

Life and Style



Summer Term

By Sam Prout

Well that’s Easter break over then: all that relaxing, all that chocolate. But now it’s time to sink back into studying and revision. Don’t despair though, for here to help take your mind off exam stress are my top five (possibly) brilliant things happening inand-around the North-East over the next few months.


The Highland Games

On 17 June, at Hazlehead Park, burly men will strap on their sporrans, hoping to toss, drag, and grunt their way to victory at Aberdeen’s highland games. This year’s special event is the 725 kg “Tug O War”[sic], with more billowing kilts than you could possibly hope for.



Between 8 and 10 June celebrate the end of exam season on the banks of worldfamous Loch Ness. Dance to Deadmau5, bounce to Biffy Clyro, and encourage[?] Ed Sheeran, just metres from the UK’s mostexportable hoax.


Stonehaven Folk Festival

Between 5 and 8 July Stonehaven hosts its annual festival of all things folk, cramming a weekend full of events, dancing, guests and live music. Last one to the aqua-ceilidh is a dubstep enthusiast!


La Boheme

At 7pm on 17 May, the BP Summer Screen in Duthie park will be showing a performance of Puccini’s opera [live] from the Royal Opera House in actual London. Admission (to see “opera’s greatest love story”, according to Abereen City Council) is completely free.


Taste of Grampain

Now try to remain calm, but in Inverurie on 2 June, celebrity chefs Phil “This Morning” Vickery and Ed Baines(!) will be performing live cookery demonstrations at the North-East’s premier food-fest. There will be free samples.

17 April 2012

Some help for getting a great exchange Julie Geyer tells us about Aberdeen’s new group helping student exchanges: Exchange ABDN


tepping off the train in the centre of Grenoble on a scorching September morning, I was petrified but buzzing with excitement. I was carrying one enormous backpack on my shoulders and dragging a 27 kg suitcase at my side, I had only one aim at that point, to find my halls of residence. My only point of reference was a scrawled bit of paper that I had hurriedly copied out before leaving chilly Edinburgh. With organisation not featuring highly amongst my skill set this was doing well. Having triumphantly conquered the tram system and making it to my little room with a view of the snow topped Alps I was ready to start the biggest adventure of my life: Erasmus. A year spent studying at a foreign university promises to be one of the most rewarding and exciting years of your life, but it may also be one of the most terrifying things you will ever do. Knowing the highs and lows of uprooting to another country, six returning students: Natalie Jones, Helen Osborn, Alice Ryan, Stephanie Albert, Elizabeth Kay and Julie Geyer, felt Aberdeen was crying out for a group facilitating exchange and

support for people on their year abroad. And so Exchange ABDN was formed. Exchange ABDN aims to help international students integrate easily into life in Aberdeen as well as allowing language students to practice their foreign language with native speakers. Natalie Jones told us she was inspired to set up the group after meeting students from the University of Edinburgh where a similar exchange society was set up in 2010. Exchange 360 went on to win the NUS Society of the year award after only one year of running. She said: “I was so excited by what Exchange 360 has achieved and really felt Aberdeen would benefit from a similar group, I

would like to thank my friends in Edinburgh for all the support and advice they have given us.” Exchange ABDN has been working closely with AUSA President for education and employability Josefine Bjorkqvist who helped secure funding from both the Alumni fund and the Internationalisation grant awarded to the University to encourage international relations. Natalie added: “we are really grateful for all the help Josefine has given us throughout every stage of setting up Exchange ABDN.” The group has used the funding to set up a website containing useful information on life in Aberdeen as well as a blog where students can post their year abroad experiences. The group is also working to set

Exchanging: not just stories...

up a buddy scheme to facilitate exchange amongst native and foreign students. Students have enjoyed successful events ranging from pub quizzes and meet and greets, to a scavenger hunt aimed at helping students get to know the area surrounding the University. The next event will be held on Tuesday 13 March in the Blue Lamp at 7.30pm. So whether you are a visiting student about to embark on year abroad or have just returned and want to relive the ERASMUS experience, come along and get to know your global neighbours. Information can be found on the website www.exchangeabdn. or via the facebook group Exchange ABDN. We look forward to answering your questions!


Supersize vs. Superskinny: helping or hindering?

Cara Wood assesses the impact television shows have on the problems they discuss


here’s not much that puts me off a share-size bag of Malteasers. Spread across the sofa in a sea of cushions and blankets, my eyes firmly focused on the TV, I find my usual steadypaced devouring start to dwindle. It’s not because I’m full (a concept I find it difficult to fully understand) but because of what’s on the screen I find myself so glued to. For those who haven’t seen it, Supersize vs. Superskinny compares the distinctly different diets of two individuals with the aim of helping them to realise the drastic changes they need to make. They are forced to take each other’s daily diets in a “Feeding Clinic.” Ultimately, the aim is to gain or lose weight. The programme also looks at the lives of six individuals with different eating disorders. Amongst all the talk of obsessive calorie counting and carbohydrates, I can’t help but focus on the message programmes like this are trying to promote: We shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about

our weight problems. Obviously, for many, it’s not as easy as all that. I can’t help but wonder are documentaries like this doing more harm than good? In a media obsessed world we are surrounded by images of the “perfect” person: tanned, toned and not an inch of fat where it shouldn’t be. Their gleaming white smiles tells us how amazing it feels to be just so utterly perfect, and it’s not just women. Just look at the guy pasted on all the Hollister bags being carried around town. Programmes like this remind us that, for many people, that image is far from a reality. Undoubtedly, it brings up many controversial issues surrounding those suffering from anorexia, bulimia and morbid obesity. It may broaden our knowledge but, arguably, it is not the best way to go about it. Eating disorders carry with them demons that need to be dealt with by the sufferer themselves. Recently it has become apparent

that many disapprove of the concept of programmes like Supersize vs. Superskinny. Some claim them to be a trigger for the sufferers. Perhaps the biggest criticism is in the assertion of Susan Ringwood, Chief Executive of B-eat, that these disorders are “deadly, not entertainment.” This is only too true. Life threatening eating disorders are exactly that, life threatening. They are extremely complex, inextricably linked with an individual’s

emotions and experiences. Surely entertainment TV is not the place for that? There is a risk that shows like this will mould public opinion and potentially affect vulnerable people watching. But amongst all this criticism there is the reassurance that programmes like this will remove the stigma of eating disorders. So are programmes like Supersize vs. Superskinny raising awareness or just causing more problems? Now there’s some food for thought.

Photo/ dougww (Flickr)

Aberdeen University’s straight-talking OAP Agony Aunts solve all your problems

Email Ethel & Janice all your problems:

17 April 2012

The Gaudie


Editor: Jessica Cregg


Interview: Pulled Apart by Horses

Before their gig at The Tunnels, Leeds-based band sat down with Elizabeth Ozolins to discuss their new album, the growing alternative rock scene, along with their all too famed, explosive live performances


o, with your show in The Tunnels tonight, how are you feeling? Lee: Tired! Tom: Yeah, we had the first night of the tour last night. Is that in Glasgow? Tom: Yeah, and whenever we’re there we always go to a bar called Nice ‘N’ Sleazy and drink way too many White Russians. Lee: It was the first night of the tour, we hadn’t been out for a while, the gig was sold out so we we’re like, why not celebrate with lots of drinks! I want to ask a few questions about your record label Transgressive Records. Why did you decide to sign with them? Lee: Well, we knew them for quite a while because they used to come to our shows in London, just hanging out. Tom: They’re a very eager bunch, but in the best possible way. Lee: They’re just genuine music fans, they really love our band. We kind of embraced the chance to go on a label that wasn’t a rock label. Tom: Yeah, we didn’t want to get pigeon-holed with all the bands that are on that label. They have such an eclectic mix of bands and you can tell that it’s purely because they love them rather than because they are really into a certain style of music. Lee: They’re just passionate about our band. Tom: And they’re kind of an indie label, but they’re at the top of the indie labels. So it’s perfect. Lee: They have the same kind of ethics and ideas as us. Tom: They’re really big music geeks. They’re really into chewing your ear off about some obscure band for hours and hours which is really good. Who are your favourite bands that are on the label at the moment? Lee: Well the Foals were definitely my favourite and they did an Iron and Wine album as well. Tom: I think that they’re fans of sub-pop so they’ve backed The

Shins and a couple of other bands. They’ve got their fingers in a few different pies. Lee: There are no two bands that are the same really. There’s Neon Indian which is more like electronic music and Johnny Flynn and stuff so they really don’t give a f**k about genres, they just put out things that they like. Just a passion for music I suppose? Tom: And that’s how it should be really. Rather than trying to select bands that you think will do well or whatever, with them it’s all based on passion. The name transgressive implies a breaking of boundaries, how does this apply to you and the label? Lee: Yeah well it’s named after the horror film movement, the transgressive movement. Tom: It’s good having guys like that because they’re always up for new ideas and trying new things out rather than doing the standard releasing a single then releasing an album. They just get as giddy as we do about limited random releases. Like for record store day we did a live album. You can put anything to them and if it’s a good idea then they will be willing to try it out. Lee: But saying that, I don’t think we’re doing anything massively different in our approach to being in a band. You create your own artwork for the band. Is this part of a wider DIY ethic? Tom: I think so yeah, in a sense. I mean, if we weren’t doing graphic design and illustration beforehand then it would be very different, but we would probably still have our say on it. Lee: It feels very good to have everything in house so we have more control over the aesthetic of the band. I mean, you see some band’s album covers and you just know that they were given three options and went “uh, that one.” Tom: Yeah, that’s the thing, it just gives that extra element. For us, we’re a lot prouder if we’ve done an album, recorded it, written

the songs and all put our heads together to create the artwork as well. Lee: It’s the idea that every element is important, the aesthetic is important, it’s part of the package and the identity of the band. So to not have control over that is just not caring about your band really. Tom: Just extra control. It also means that we can be a pain in the ass when it comes to videos because we’re always chipping in with ideas when I’m sure the directors a lot of the time are like, f**k off! Lee: We’re lucky that we’ve found a director now who has a similar vision. Tom: He‘ll take our ideas into consideration and then change them around a little bit.

differences are their between this and your first album? Lee: It’s better. Tom: In terms of sound, with the first album we didn’t have a lot of time to do it and it was just a collection of the songs we had then. But with this album, we wrote the songs particularly together on the album. Lee: Everything just stepped up a bit really. We’ve become better musicians, the songs are just a bit stronger, and we did it with Gil Norton as well, who is one of the best music producers ever. So because we were working with him we were just like, f**k, this has got to be good! Anyone who is in a band should just want to be getting better and better. I guess that’s just the second stage of our band.

Did you have any input in the video for “V.E.N.O.M”, your recent single? Lee: It was Tom’s original idea. Tom: But I just wanted to rip off an eighties horror film. Lee: And Bob Harlow who directed it just took it in a completely different direction. Again it’s things like that. You’re given three minutes to make a little movie and it’s like some people just do whatever. It’s not even a matter of money or anything like that. Tom: I think some music videos are a lot more throw-away now and we thought that if we have a budget to make a video and an opportunity to do something different, then we don’t just want to have us playing our instruments. It has a bigger impact in the end anyway. Tom: Especially while we’ve been working on the “V.E.N.O.M” one and the “High Five” one, when that first came out, it did end up having a kind of viral effect because people really loved the videos and so they would just be passing it about. So you win both ways really. Lee: It’s an important tool for your band, so if you’ve made a cool little film, then people are going to want to watch it. If people find out about our band just through our videos, then they’ve done their job. You’ve recently released your second studio album. What

Can you tell me about the recording process of the second album? Lee: In normal band terms, we still recorded it in a really short amount of time, but for us it was double the amount of time that we took for the first album, which was eight days. It’s still a tiny amount of time to do a record in, but to us it felt quite relaxed. We went to this really cool studio in Wales, called Monnow Valley. Tom: It was in the middle of nowhere, there was nothing around. Lee: There was a river around the back of the studio which was cool. And we were just with a great group of people. Tom: Yeah, and without having too much pressure, we put the right amount of pressure on ourselves because we were working with

such a big producer and so we felt that we needed to be on top of everything really. Lee: And treat everything as the last thing you’re going to do with the band. Tom: That’s probably our attitude for a lot of things really, like gigs, for example. I mean, we might plan a little bit for the future but… Lee: We might be dead tomorrow (laughs). Tom: So we treat it like it’s our last. Tonight’s our last gig! Lee: We’ll split up and then get back together tomorrow. Reunion tour! (laughs). You’re known for your energetic and passionate live performances. How do you maintain your enthusiasm while on tour? Lee: I don’t know. You’re just fuelled by hangovers. Tom: You just adapt to it. Lee: And things like adrenaline play a massive part. Before you play you get really tired, and the adrenaline just hits you. But we don’t have any kind of fitness regime or anything. Tom: We probably should do, but we all drink and smoke and have to play an hour every night. Is this you biggest tour? Lee: This is our biggest headline tour. But we haven’t really toured for a while. Last summer we did the record, played loads of festivals and did some bits earlier last year but this is our first headline tour. It’s good to be back out again really.

Photo/ Dale Harvey (Flickr)

The Students of Aberdeen are Going Underground By Natalie MacKinnon


n the 19th of April, in The Tunnels, The University of Aberdeen’s Creative Writing Society are hosting the only student arts event to be held in Aberdeen this year, titled Going Underground, to launch their upcoming anthology. The Creative Writing Society has produced many writing-themed evenings throughout the past few years, which have showcased performances from societies as diverse as Centre Stage, the Juggling Society, the Comedy Society and the Improvised Theatre

Society. However, in recent years the Creative Writing Society has had to expand in order to be able to cater for a growing membership base and a loss of financial support from AUSA. The event has also come about due to a lack of alternative platforms for new writing in Aberdeen. The Word Festival is the university’s main literary event, attracting over 10,000 visitors every year and hosting more than 80 events, one of which is hosted by the Creative Writing Society. However, 2012 marks the first year in the Word Festival’s 11 year history in which the Word Festival

has been cancelled to allow time to prepare for the British Science Festival in September. The event is being sponsored by The Tunnels and Café Drummonds and will offer an opportunity for students of Aberdeen to bring their creative work to the public stage. The event also promises to function as a networking evening for all those interested in creating opportunities for the students of Aberdeen to create, contribute, voice opinions and support creative enterprise. Throughout the evening there will also be the opportunity for audience members to submit “one

sentence” stories, to be read aloud anonymously, thereby allowing all audience members to contribute to the project. Going Underground will involve live music by Aberdeen students, new theatre and writings, written and performed by students of this university. The Facebook page for the event promises that, “All money raised in ticket sales and book sales will go straight back into the Creative Writing Society, allowing us to hold our weekly meetings, supporting new writing by the students of Aberdeen University”. The society’s annual anthology,

titled Promising Contents will be available to buy on the night and there will be an afterparty until 2am after the event. Tickets are £3 and can be bought on the door. Going Underground, The Tunnels, 19th April, doors open 7pm for a 7.30 start. For more information, please search, “The Creative Writing Society is ‘Going Underground’” on Facebook.


Arts Single Jason Mraz Love is a Four Letter Word Atlantic

ByJessica Gregg Despite never truly dipping in airplay, American singer/songwriter Jason Mraz returns with the followup album to his wildly successful single “I’m Yours”. Since being featured on countless films and television programs, the soulful, acoustic ballad has seen Mraz reap

17 April 2012

The Gaudie both critical and financial reward to a monumental degree. To chase such a huge hit with an equally colossal album is a mean feat by anyone’s standards. Mraz has opted to remain with his tried and tested, primarily acoustic format, with the subtle twist of the occasional addition of a flourish of horns, the odd interwoven electric guitar solo, with even an appearance of strings. With the title, Love Is A Four Letter Word, along with the subject matter of Mraz’s previous hits, you’d be forgiven for writing this album off as yet another soundtrack to a romantic comedy yet to be written. Instead, the nine track offering features odes to the act of songwriting on the beach, in the form of opener “The Freedom Song”, along with a dedication to the inflicted optimism of music, heard on “Everything Is Sound”. To assume that Mraz has completely abandoned his middle-of-the-road, cheery love-drenched signature sound would be too far of a leap. He has very much maintained the sound which saw him rise to fame. That being said, the artist has managed to inject some life into his tried and tested formula. Love it or hate it, with pop songs this catchy, repeat success is sure to be on the cards for Mr. Mraz.

Album Professor Penguin Planes Gentoo Recordings

Despite the fact that alliteration seems to register very highly on their radar, Professor Penguin’s debut Planes emerges as a thoroughly complex, yet all too catchy debut from the Londonbased collective. Standing as rather unique in their line up with the usual guitar, bass and percussion - instrumentation extended to include woodwind, synth and occasionally a triangle player. The band, led by singer/ songwriter Johnny Abraham have crafted an ambient yet intricate selection of tracks, woven together by choral interludes often featuring all eight members of the band. Standout track and debut single “Pirate” manages to strike the chord of being catchy, whilst also exuding a definite complexity. With sparkling guitar melodies in abundance, slowly giving way to the hypnotically sung lyrics, “your pirate eyes are bright, they’re twisting and

turning it all away”, the three minute slice of crescendo-driven indie-pop is not only beautifully crafted, but sure to be stuck in your head for weeks to come. Ranking as the polar-opposite on the album to “Pirate”, the two part title track, “Planes One” and “Planes Two” sits on the album as an ethereal ten-minute interlude. The dream-like soundscape, that is “Planes One” and “Planes Two” features a diverse collection of instrumentation, with punchy Metronomy influenced basslines falling against a sea of woodwind and strings punctuated with the odd drifting hook. Proffessor Penguin manage to take the simple pop song to Thom York-esqe heights. It is clear that despite the slightly humorous obsession with the letter “P”, Johnny Abraham has effectively constructed a tentrack audio journey which sounds at every point, utterly beautiful. To call this genre spanning, would be nothing but a disservice.


By Jessica Cregg

Titanic production at Lawson the Lemon Tree goes full steam ahead

With the combination of melodic vocal harmonies layered over catchy guitar driven songs (played by the boys themselves, of course!), these four lads are proving that there’s more to being in a boy band than simply signing autographs.


By Jessica Cregg


ith all forms of media outlets a-flood with coverage of the recent Titanic resurrection - brought to us now in all of its three-dimensional glory - it seems that a theatrical dedication is set to bring back to the forefront of our minds, the poignancy of the 1912 tragedy. This month, to commemorate the anniversary of the demise of the RMS Titanic, Aberdeen will host the Scottish premiere of Heaven’s Gate - a theatrical dedication to those lost aboard the ship’s maiden voyage. Based on the testimonies of survivors, Heaven’s Gate tells the story of three individuals on board the doomed liner. Chronicling their hopes, aspirations and dreams, the play takes a unique twist, as although each of the characters has a reason to survive, they sadly cannot all be saved. The arduous task of awarding life to a certain character eventually falls to the audience - effectively recreating the heart

The Lemon Tree

wrenching decision undertook by all those aboard the Titantic that fateful evening. Performed by actor and director Chris Begg and actors Jamie Rodden, Jamie Begg and Ryan Wyness, Heaven’s Gate is presented by the new Quids In Theatre Company, based in the North-east. The play, originally dreamt up by the husband and wife partnership of director Chris Begg and production manager AnneMarie Begg is due to visit this year’s Edinburgh Festival before touring cities associated with the Titanic - Southampton, Liverpool, Cobh, Belfast, New York and Halifax, Nova Scotia. Tickets for Heaven’s Gate at The Lemon Tree Studio on Thursday and Friday, April 19 and 20, are available online at www., by phone at 01224 641122 and at Aberdeen Box Office at the Music Hall and His Majesty’s Theatre.


awson, made up of lead vocalist, Andy; lead guitarist, Joel; drummer, Adam; and Ryan on bass, have followed the trend of many music acts of late, by relying heavily on the use of social networking sites to not only further their career, but to form. The band came to be after Adam decided to take the leap of making contact whilst viewing one of Andy’s acoustic cover versions, on Youtube. After Adam’s short but sweet message, reading “I love what you’re doing, if you ever form a band can I be in it?” back in 2009. Lawson have gone on to be picked up by major record label, Polydor – the label responsible for such breakout artists as The Maccabees, La Roux and Ellie Goulding. After relentlessly gigging for three years and having “played the crappiest clubs, been offered some way


dodgy deals and, at times, not had a pound between us” the boys have managed to mould themselves into a unique act, simultaneously citing the likes of John Mayer and Kings of Leon. The feature which seems to immediately set Lawson apart from the recent influx of sounda-like boybands, is not only their song writing ability, but also their insistence on playing their own instruments on stage – delivering a rather unexpected dynamic from their sound. According to frontman, Andy, the incorporation of instruments into their acts has been rather natural, “I’ve always wrote songs and played guitar and I’ve always played with a band – so it just felt right”. Since honing their live show whilst on Polydor, the Merseyside four-piece have aquired a

passionate and active fanbase. Swarming to twitter to promote their group, the Lawson fanbase have supported their group to the extent of selling out their debut headline tour in January – not bad for a band who are still yet to release a single! Yet despite their ever-growing fanbase and major label backing, Andy adds that he is keen to shine the spotlight on pure songwriting ability as opposed to any boy-band similarities, “We get it when people say we’re a boyband because we do look like that at first but I think, when they see us live, they’ll soon see that any similarities between us and One Direction stop at haircuts.” Their first single, “When She Was Mine”, will be released on May 27, 2012.


17 April 2012

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19 The Hunger Games Directed by: Gary Ross Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth

By Louise Clark Set in a dystopian future, The Hunger Games follows protagonist Katniss Everdeen, a 16 year old girl who takes her sister’s place to fight in the country’s annual hunger games, in which 24 teenagers are pitted against each other in a

televised fight to the death. She is joined by Peeta, a fellow tribute from her district and as this is based on teen fiction, it doesn’t come as much of a surprise when the threads of a love story form between them. Overall the film makes for some compelling and tense viewing. It’s over two hours long but doesn’t feel it and while the main characters are not instantly likeable, the audience gradually begins to root for them. Supporting characters are also strong and as there is already a sequel in the works, it should be interesting to see how they develop. The film also strikes a good balance between action scenes in the arena and “behind the scenes” moments where we get a glimpse into the inner workings of the controlling Capitol government. Perhaps the

Directed by: Tarsem Singh Starring: Lily Collins, Julia Roberts and Armie Hammer

By Christian Robshaw Mirror Mirror feels quite a lot like a music video, which makes sense considering its director, the apparently surnameless Tarsem, began in music videos, including R.E.M.’s pretty great “Losing My Religion”. In any case, I don’t

The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists Directed by: Peter Lord, Jeff Newitt Starring: Hugh Grant, Salma Hayek and Jeremy Piven

By Christian Robshaw It wasn’t good. I have, now, about 297 more words to fill, and unfortunately, very little else to say. It is difficult for me to even explain quite why it wasn’t good. I don’t

Titanic Directed by: James Cameron Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet and Billy Zane

By Christian Robshaw I’m exactly the sort of sucker Hollywood loves. I watch films that are supposed to be great, like Hugo, and films that I know are going to be terrible, like The Three Musketeers; I watch films based solely on the idea that I should see them, like Avatar, and I pay a tenner each time to watch them in 3D. Recently I’ve discovered that I’ll even pay to see re-releases in 3D of great films, like The Lion King, bad films, like Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, and films I’m indifferent to, like – hello – Titanic. Well, I never saw it in the cinema first time around, and it’s a cinematic enough film

most notable aspect of The Hunger Games is the strong and resilient character of Katniss who provides an alternative role model for teens to Twilight’s Bella who is the very antithesis of feminism. Whilst the film series may not be the next Harry Potter, it provides some exciting entertainment and takes a refreshing step back from the popular supernatural romance market today’s teens seem to love. Where Twilight teaches us that having a boyfriend is the most important thing in the world, The Hunger Games provides us with an interesting portrayal of what reality TV may become in our media-obsessed world and how the rumblings of revolution begin. And, thankfully, there are no sparkly vampires in this film. think it’s a bad thing, because it resembles a really good music video. There’s a stunningly beautiful lead in Lily Collins, halfa-dozen recognisable-ish faces (Agent Tolson - he also looks like a more handsome Jason Segel - the dwarf from In Bruges, the dwarf from Pirates of the Caribbean, Boromir), a Burtonesque fairytale dream-plot, and a wonderfully bitchy turn from a quite gleeful Julia Roberts. I’ve really never seen her enjoy herself this much, or be this likable. Roberts aside, several lead performances are a little off – understated in the wrong places, and overstated also in the wrong places – and it’s true the dialogue isn’t up to the standard of the visuals, seeming rather to talk

Mirror Mirror

think it’s the fact that it depicted the Golden Age of Piracy as taking place during Queen Victoria’s reign, because who cares? The film’s depiction of Vic as a rabid pirate-hater is also odd (it feels like a historical in-joke, but it has no grounds) but not film-ruining. The depiction of Charles Darwin borders on libel, but ultimately he’s a misguided goody. And the whole idea that nasty murderous notorious rapists like pirates are now acceptable fodder for kids’ fare does trouble me a little, but I had no issue with Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean movies, so I don’t think it’s that. Maybe it’s just that the film never really happens – the opening


down to the audience: and the jokes are a little bit young teen, and overall the whole thing does feel oddly forgettable – but what do you expect from a music video? There’s also a lot of stuff to look at, thankfully not in 3D. If you get bored of battleship chess hats or clockpunk ninja dwarfs, just look around the frame a bit; there’ll be something else interesting in the background. Or just pay attention to Lily Collins’ face, or neck, or lips, or – if you prefer – the quite manly chest of manlyly-named Armie Hammer. As long as you’re paying attention to things, be absolutely sure you don’t miss the song-anddance Bollywood coda. It’s an outof-place but inspired moment in a film which distinguished itself more than I expected it to. act sets up plot and character motivation, as expected, but the rest of the film never really does anything with them, becoming more of a patchwork of obnoxious jokes. Some of these obnoxious jokes are funny. I laughed at some of them. I did not laugh at a manatee gag about the Elephant Man, and many of the jokes seem to have something of a similar, vaguely transgressive tone. It’s not like a Disney film, and I mean that as an insult. Nobody’s heart seems to be in it, and it’s sad to see Aardman Animations – who gave us Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run – continue the downward spiral they entered with Flushed Away. that I feel I sort of owe it that. Told you I’m a sucker. I had forgotten how long the framing device with the necklacefinding crew is, especially since Rose dumps the thing anyway. When we finally reach 1912, we’re introduced to lots of interesting minor characters who disappear to make room for Jack and Rose’s love arc, which is actually quite well done. What’s distracting, though, is Billy Zane’s eyeliner-wearingly evil sexist vampire of a childstealing snob: a love rival for Leo so nefarious that he plunges into a sinking ship straight strapped with a gat to murder the s**t out of that bride-stealing rat. Actually, everyone on board Titanic seems to be packing heat. I can’t speak for the historical accuracy of this, but it’s not a very good sign if you can’t derive dramatic tension from the sinking of a 3000-capacity ship without having someone wave their piece every five minutes. Mind you, given I chose to watch James Cameron’s 3D take on the biggest ship that ever sank, I’ve only myself to blame if it wasn’t subtle enough for me.

The Gaudie


Listings Societies Central Stage The Room Film Screening Belmont Picture House 16 April 8pm Price: tba The Room is one of the best worst movies ever. You have to see it in a cinema with friends so get the full experience of screaming abuse at the acting and hurling spoons at the screen. If you haven’t seen this gloriously bad epic then YOU MUST. It is a cult classic. Inter Soc Should Scotland be an Independent state? Inter-Political Rant Night Bookends 18 April 7pm Price: Free Entry Join the political societies for an open debate on Scottish Independence. Come along and voice your opinions on Scottish Independence. Everyone will have the opportunity to speak and the event will be chaired by the Politics Society. AU Charities Campaign Mary Trophins Theatre Performance His Majesty’s Theatre 18 April, 7.30pm 19 April, 7.30 pm 20 April, 5pm & 8.30pm 21 April, 2.30pm & 7.30pm 7.30pm Price: £10-£20 +bf Aberdeen Student Charities Campaign returns with their unique brand of local humour, in this take on another classic story – Mary Torphins. The discovery of a cute furry creature living in the undergrowth is threatening to scupper the completion of a multi-million pound north-east golf project, and an Aberdeen City Councillor has been tasked with sorting it out. As if Councillor Brimmond Hill isn’t worried enough, his wife is heading the protest movement and his children are heading off the rails. Who could possibly step in to save the day?

Inter Society Should Scotland be an Independent state? Inter-Political Rant Night Bookends 18 April 7pm Price: Free Entry Join the political societies for an open debate on Scottish Independence. Come along and voice your opinions on Scottish Independence. Everyone will have the opportunity to speak and the event will be chaired by the Politics Society.

Editor: Maria Suessmilch

Creative Writing Society ...Is Going Underground The Tunnels 19 April 7pm Price: £3 To launch their new anthology for the year 2011/2, the University of Aberdeen’s Creative Writing Society are proud to present Going Underground an evening celebrating the best work by the creative arts societies of Aberdeen University, proudly sponsored by the Tunnels and Cafe Drummonds. Held underneath the city streets, the evening will involve live music, drama, improvised theatre, fuelled by new, challenging and passionate writing by the students of Aberdeen. Throughout the evening we will collect YOUR stories, told only in one sentence, giving you a chance to be part of the ONLY student creative arts events in Aberdeen. The event will culminate with an after party in the Tunnels until 2am. IR & Politics Society Guest Lecture Event with Struan Stevenson MEP New Library, Room 224 20 April 4pm Price: Free Entry We are delighted to invite everyone to the second semester’s special event. Mr. Stevenson will be speaking on “STALIN’S LEGACY - How The Soviet Union Waged War on Nature,” which is the subject of his forthcoming book which will be publish at this year’s Edinburgh Book Festival. As usual it will be followed by a Q&A session.

26 April 7.30pm Price: Free Entry Maxine Kaufman-Lacusta, a Quaker Jew who lived in Jerusalem for seven years and author of Refusing to be Enemies: Palestinian and Israeli Nonviolent Resistance to the Israeli Occupation. Maxine has written widely on Palestinian and Israeli nonviolent activism and will speak on this topic, including covering her participation in the recent Global March to Jerusalem.

German Society Languages Ball The Forum 27 April 7pm Price: £30 Join us at the annual languages ball to celebrate languages from around the world! The evening promises to be a spectacular event with a Monday 1920’s theme. There will be a three 11am - Folklore 1pm – Happy slapped by a jel- course meal, jazz, burlesque and, of course, because we are in Scotlyfish land a ceilidh! Dress in your best, 2pm - Save It For the Radio bring some friends and have a great 3pm - Happy Times 4pm - Around the world with evening! The evening will start at 7pm and Rachel will go on until 2am! The dress 5pm - Tell You What code is formal and anything 20’s 6pm - The Lead Belly glamour inspired will be loved but 7pm- - Happy Hour is by no means essential! It is only 8pm - La Voz essential to bring good humor and a smile. Tuesday 11-12am - Mixtape 1pm - The Jazz Show 2pm - Goo man and Friend 3-4pm - Comedy Society 5pm - Audio Rehab 6pm - The six o’clock Show 7-8pm - AUEM

Your Weekly Radio Guide


10-11am - Going Underground 12am-1pm - Chill Out Zone 3pm - Walk on the Wild Side 4pm - The Young Folk 6pm - This Is It 7-8pm - Feel Sorry For The

Thursday 10am 11pm 1pm 2-3pm 4-5pm 6 pm 7pm


10am 11am 2pm 3-4pm 5-6pm 7-8pm

- On This Day - The Dungans of Rap - Roll away your stone - State of the Art - Time for Thomas - Ardvark Canal Rescue Radio Team - V for Veronika

- That Friday Feeling - Two Peas in a Pod - Evolution - Club Sounds - MJ Show - Ready for the Weekend

27 April 6.30pm Price: £25 Politics & IR Soc, along with the Aberdeen Political societies, will be hosting an end of year Ceilidh! We will be provided with a full fork buffet and drinks followed by dance performers, exciting entertainers and a Ceilidh. There will also be an after-party, venue TBC. To add a twist we are making it masquerade, so don your kilts and gowns and add a masquerade mask!

Wednesday, 25 April, 9pm Scottish Highland and BLues Night Butchart Main Hall 6 Scottish Highland dancing 6-7pm Blues dancing 7-9pm Friday 27 April, 8pm Ceilidh Priory Tickets will be sold at all events costing £5, £6 on door.

AUSA AUSA Executive Committe Elections


Inter-Political Masquerade Ball Venue tbc

SPSC Refusing to be Enemies event Quaker Meeting Hall, 98 Crown St. Aberdeen

17 April 2012

Autism Awareness Month Equal Opportunities Committee Butchart 16 April - 27 April Monday, 16 April, 9pm What is Autism? Butchart Main Hall 6 A General Introduction of what Autism is. Guest Speaker. Mental Health Regards to Autism and what sport can do to help. Tuesday, 17 April, Film Night Film’s about autistic individuals speaking up. Wednesday, 18 April, 3pm Sports Day Butchart Main Hall 1 An event organised by the Sports Union, including stalls from: AU Sports Union Stall with Sports & Exercise Team. Thursday, 19 April, 7pm Dance Day Butchart Small Hall 1 One Hour Sessions: 13.00 HipHop 14.00 Burlesque 15.00 Indian Classical Dance 16.00 Bellydancing 17.00 Swing 18.00 Salsa Friday, 20 April, 3pm Art’s and Self expression Day Butchart Smal Hall 1 Arts Society and Bellydancing, come and express yourself. Monday, 23 April, 9pm Talk Show, Guest Speakers Butchart Main Hall 6 Talking to parents of autistic children as well as an autistic student. Tuesday, 24 April, 6pm- 9pm Film Night Macrobert MR051 Film’s About The Effects of ASD on its Environment. costing £5, £6 on door.

17 April, 9am - 19 April, 5pm This is the time you can vote for the new executive committee positions: President of Students, Sports, Societies & Student Activities, Charities, Welfare & Equal opportunities and Education & Employability. If you are a registered University of Aberdeen student you can vote at at Look out for the candidates during these days on campus to tell you what they want to achieve. AUSA Executive Committee Candidates Hustings Alfie’s, Butchart 17 April 12pm - 2pm Ask candidates what they want to achieve next year. The same event will be held the next day at Polworth Auditorium Foresterhill, 12pm again. Equal Opps & Welfare “Hope Not Hate” - Equality and Diversity Evening Trade Union Council Social Club, Adelphi 20 April 8pm Price: Free entry Celebrating Aberdeen’s multiculturalism, Aberdeen Against Austerity presents a night of music, poetry and performance in the historic Trade Unions’ bar. Dance the night away to some of Scotland’s best international musicians, for equality and diversity! AUSA Local Council Candidate Hustings Alfie’s, Butchart 30 April 6pm Come along and ask candidates standing in the local Council Elections what they are going to do for you if they are elected.

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17 April 2012

21 RAG Week Across campus and Aberdeen 23 April - 29 April RAG Stands for Raising and Giving and is part of the ASCC. RAG week is a week for the charities campaign to take over the association, the campus and Aberdeen with events and competitions. It’s a great way for societies, sports and anyone else to get involved and do some good with every single penny going to charities! Basically: a big festive competition for charities! The Aberdeen Students’ Charities Campaign aims to each year raise £100,000 for charities in Aberdeen/Aberdeenshire. The charities are decided based on disbursement guidelines - and charities can apply to be considered at the start of each year. This year 38 charities were successful in their applications. For information look out on Facebook for RAG Abdn

University Cafe Scientifique Dark Energy, Extra Dimensions and Cosmology Aberdeen College 17 April 7.15pm Price: Free Entry Speaker: Professor Alan Heavens, University of Edinburgh The Nobel Prize for physics recently went to one of the most unexpected observations in Cosmology: The Universe is not just expanding but accelerating. We’ll look at the possible mysterious explanations - Dark Energy or a failure of Einstein’s Gravity - which may happen if we live in more than four dimensions. Pre-booking is essential by telephoning 01224 274348. The planetarium seats 30 and to ensure fairness we are restricting bookings to two seats per booking contact.

University of Aberdeen Music Concert of music for flute and soprano King’s College Chapel 19 April 7.30pm Musicians: Gillian Jack (Soprano); Catherine O’Rourke (Flute); Roger B Williams (Piano) Three tutors at the University of Aberdeen combine their musical expertise to present a beautiful concert of music for flute and soprano. Works will include pieces by Ravel, Saint-Saens, Roussel and Handel, and the first performance of a piece written especially for the duo by Joan Cumming. University of Aberdeen Music The Three Cities Project Musa, Exchange Street, Aberdeen 22 April 7.30pm Price: £8/£5 concessions; £2 students/children This event is part of an ongoing artistic and cultural exchange between the three cities of Aberdeen, Bergen and St Petersburg. The evening will showcase a rich variety of new sound and audiovisual works by Ross Whyte, Pete Stollery, Trond Lossius and Sudjun Kim as well as work by communities from each of the cities.

23 April, Monday Tiger Tiger RAG Week launch party You’ll get to party for a good cause! Sponsored by Plus 1 24 April, Tuesday Face painting for the little ones at the university nursery. 25 April, Wednesday RAG Olympics at Hillhead halls of residence. 26 April, Thursday Let’s get quizical at the Union Bar! £1 per person. 27 April, Friday

The 2012 Gifford Lectures King’s College Conference Centre 17 April, 5.30pm 3 May, 6.30pm Price: Free Entry Speaker: Professor Sarah Coakley, Norris-Hulse Professor of Divinity, University of Cambridge Professor Sarah Coakley will deliver the 2012 Gifford Lectures at the University of Aberdeen on the subject of Sacrifice Regained: Evolution, Cooperation and God. Since their inception in 1888, the Gifford Lectures have become the foremost intellectual event dealing with religion, science and philosophy. Lectures are given in the ancient Universities of Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Glasgow and St. Andrews.

RACE 4 RAG - 3 stations. Three pieces of clothing to be romoved. All clothes donated go to the Cyrenians!

Cafe Scientifique RMS Titanic - 100 Years On Waterstone’s Union Bridge, Aberdeen

28 April, Saturday

18 April 7pm Price: Free Entry Speaker: John Edwards, Head of Collections, Aberdeen Museums and Galleries

Bouncy castle and face painting at the Rugby 7s followed by the Torcher Parade. 29 April, Sunday Tiger,Tiger £4 at the door RAG Week Bash. Prize giving ceromony, the final of Aberdeen’s first ever RAG Week. RAGAbdn


On this very date 100 years ago over 700 Titanic passengers finally arrived safely in New York. Come and discuss the science of the sinking of RMS Titanic - a tragic event that, in the end, came down to an unfortunate coincidence of circumstances. Find out how the survivors owed their lives to technology and how Titanic’s fate a few days earlier might have been avoided if any one of a set of factors had been slightly different. For more details visit



Vue Aberdeen The Pirates 1h 28min Animation 10:45; 12:45; 14:45; 16:45; 18:45; 20:45 Mirror Mirror 1h 46min Fantasy 10:45; 13:00; 15:15; 18:15; 20:30 Battleship 2h 11min Action 12:30; 15:15; 18:00; 20:45 The Cabin in the Woods 1h 35min Horror 14:30; 16:30; 18:30; 20:30; 22:30; 00:30 The Hunger Games 2h 22min Action 14:45; 17:45; 19:15; 20:45; 22:15; 23:45 Titanic 3D 3h 14min Action 12:15; 16:00; 19:45 21 Jump Street 1h 49min Action 17:10; 19:30; 22:00 The Muppets 1h 38min Comedy 12:00

Cafe Philisophique When should we tolerate moral disagreement? The Blue Lamp

This month:

23 April 7pm Price: Free entry

This Must Be the Place Director: Paolo Sorrentino 118min

Speaker: Dr Carl Baker and Dr Alexandra Plakias, Northern Institute of Philosophy, University of Aberdeen

An American Werewolf in London Director: John Landis 97 min

Moral tolerance is often taken as a given: we should respect the moral convictions of others. But if people’s beliefs are biased or prejudiced, shouldn’t we try to change their minds?

Being Elmo Director: Constance Marks 80 min

Set in Silver - Contemporary Reflections on Glass Plate Special Collections Centre, University Library

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Director: John Madden 124 min

26 April 6pm Price: Free entry Speaker: Dr Aine Larkin Join Dr Aine Larkin as she explores the figures behind the camera lens. In this talk, she will examine their concerns with the scientific, as well as the aesthetic, in the early days of photography.

Belmont Picture House Aberdeen

Great Expectations (Re) Director: David Lean 118 min

Demons Director: Lamberto Bava 91 min Delicacy 109 min Aberdeen College Showcase Director: Various 80 min Back to the Future (Re-release) Director: Robert Zemekis 111 min

Spotlight A Torture Parade in Aberdeen?! 28 April Start: Marischal College 8am - Start of building floats 6.30pm - Start of parade “The what parade?” the unsuspecting fresher asks me as I try and sell volunteering with the Aberdeen Students’ Charities Campaign to him. “The Torcher Parade” I reply, carefully spelling it out to avoid the common and justified confusion. I go on to explain the history of this traditional parade; a mainstay in the city events calendar and one of the two original events hosted by this 91 year old Aberdeen Students’ Charities Campaign, the other of course being Student Show. The conversation goes on and I explain that the parade itself is 123 years old and was founded by nurses who wanted to fundraise for their hospital in a pre-NHS era. The tradition of raising money during Torcher Parade still exists. This year 38 local projects were chosen to benefit from the collections on the ground, which are set to be around the £10,000 mark. The fresher starts showing interest. This year the parade is on the 28th of April, I say. It will start from outside Marischal College, which is the original start point and then follow the historic route around the city up Skene Street to Queen’s Cross roundabout and then down Union Street to St. Nicholas Square. “But what does the parade show? Is it like the Rio carnival parade?” Well, not exactly, I reflect. This parade sees today’s students putting their creative skills to the test. They form teams and have to build floats in around eight hours with limited materials, and then showing them off to the city. I had one student saying: “You can build a funny float, raise money for charity and sit on the back of a driving lorry with people throwing money at you. What better thing can you do?” And for an event that pulls in over 10,000 spectators every year, they must be doing a good job. The fresher seems to like this idea and grabs a flyer. For me it’s mission accomplished, for him it’s prospects of fun times. If you want to create a float, you still have time to register. Just get in touch at pres.charities@abdn. and book your space now. Hope to see you all at Torture Parade! Oh, I mean Torcher Parade! By Sean O’Rourke

ROH. LIVE: Rigoletto 185 min Labyrinth Director: Jim Henson 101 min The Kid with a Bike Director: Jean-Pierre Dardenne, Luc Dardenne 88 min A Streetcar Named Desire Director: Elia Kazan 122 min

Irish leprechaun at the Parade Photo/

Are you a stylish writer? Gaudie Needs you! E-mail: for more information!

Two Weeks of Events Raising Awareness & Having Fun Celebrating the Similarities & Accepting the Differences

Sociosqu Netus


Vestibulum tempus


#e Roa$ng Twenties 3 C&rse Meal Jazz Band

F$day 27 Ap$l

Burlesque Ceilidh

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Tickets on sale now

at Butcha' on ( 5, 14 & 19 March, 12-3pm

Langua!s Ball 2012

Looking For...

The new space for student ads! This is going to be a whole new section in Listings. We want to offer students a place where they can advertise for study groups, theatre groups, music bands, book clubs, foreign language teachers, flatmates and many more. If you are interested in sending us your ad, then email: Your ad request should include a contact name, a contact email address (we will not include phone numbers) and who you are looking for. Please note that we cannot print ads longer than 40 words. And also - we’re not a dating site, so no “She is looking for him” etc. ads!

Aberdeen University Wilderness Medical Society

Trauma & Pre-Hospital Care

Training Weekend Covering: • cABCDE protocol • Major haemorrhage • Collars; log rolling & c-spine clearance • Traction & pelvic splinting • Spinal board, scoop stretcher & VacMat use

When: 5th & 6th May

Where: Suttie Centre, Foresterhill Cost:


Includes: • Lunch • Printed training material • Mountain Rescue pocket guide • Half-day of scenario based training

Not just for medics! Valuable for all outdoor enthusiasts & first aiders. No previous experience required. for more information & tickets



Editor: Ryan Ross

The week in tweets @J_Ennis – Snacks between sessions. “Yum fruit life of an athlete #takethestage http://pic.twitter. com/BjgaOJRu!” @rioferdy5 – can only marvel at Lionel Messi’s talent. “While all the drama of the PL was going on Messi was scoring his 61st goal of the season....he is taking the Matt Le Tiss!”

A summation of the sports events Ryan Ross remembers Superteams and Granite City Challenge


arch saw one of the busiest times for the Aberdeen University Sports Union. Sunday 11 March saw a massive 500 students participate in the Sports Union’s biggest events: Superteams. The event is held annually and involves teams consisting of seven participants, with a minimum of three female members. Activities include starting sprints, rock climbing, assault courses, capture the flag and finally a human table football event. Every team has to nominate a Superman and Superwoman, who are challenged at each activity; having to compete for longer durations, take a harder route or lift their team. Organisation of the event starts months in advance and is planned by members of the Sports Union

@BeckAdlington – becomes the effects of fatigue. “Seem to have misplaced my ability to swim. Absolutely shattered! #restneeded.” @MarkCavendish – enjoys a trip to the dentist. “Just had my wisdom tooth removed. With the size of this baby, I reckon I’m going to bankrupt the tooth fairy.” @BeckyWainLH – Finds she’s not alone in running style. “Was on a run listening to @ gregjames talk about his #midnightrun actual laughing while running not a good combo..I do all those things too!” @MCIlroyRory – remains positive despite losing out in the Masters tournament. “Well that wasn’t my best weekend ever! Still a few more chances to get my hands on a green jacket! Well done to @bubbawatson! Awesome win!”

Video of the Week

Andy Carroll finally scores again for Liverpool FC atch?v=JPZk2suM36 M&feature=b-mv

17 April 2012

The Gaudie

Photos/ Ryan Ross

committee. But further to this, 80 volunteers were required on the day to ensure everything ran smoothly. Aberdeen’s President for Sport, Adam Downie said, “The successful event was a fantastic demonstration of teamwork, organisation and enthusiasm from the students.” He went on to add, “The enthusiasm shown by both competitors and volunteers helped create a vibrant and energetic atmosphere while the glorious spring sun gave the event a more relaxed vibe.” In addition to Superteams, the Granite City Challenge was also held on Wednesday 16 March. 700 students descended upon Aberdeen University as they competed with fierce rivals, Robert Gordon University, to determine

who would have bragging rights for the coming year. 30 events were held across numerous venues, involving sports such as downhill mountain biking, gaelic football, cricket, rifle shooting, trampolining, waterpolo, rowing and climbing, and popular sports such as football, rugby and badminton. The pressure was on Aberdeen to keep their lead after back to back wins in 2010 and 2011. Speaking ahead of the event, Adam Downie said: “This is the largest varsity competition in the country and one of the highlights in our sporting calendar. To have students competing in 30 different competitions in one day is a fantastic reflection of the amount of sport on offer in Aberdeen. I’m looking forward to some great matches and some well-earned

victories.” Unfortunately, Aberdeen were unable to retain the trophy, having drawn 15-15 with RGU. It was a closely fought event with Aberdeen dominating the Badminton, Cricket, Hockey and Netball events. Over the coming months the Sports Union are gearing up for the Olympics, being held in London in July. Events such as The Olympics Get Walking Week, held 23-28 April, aimed at encouraging students to participate in sport and improve their health. 12 May will see The Olympics Race to Rio event take place at Aberdeen Sports Village too. Finally on Monday 11 June, the Olympic Torch is passing through Aberdeen and all students will get a chance to watch the procession.

The Gaudie, 17 April 2012  

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