Sunday, June 8, 1975
about Perirk aCe째\'IS What, Me Forget? One of the most wasteful and unnecessary words in the English language (SWahili too, for that matter), is the word "forget" It is unnecessary because the average man/woman on the. street (including malls and alleys) has the mental equipment for total recall. This fact is based on extensive research and error trial at Harvard, or was it Vassar by Dr. Whatchamacallem? He found that the word "forget" actually weakens the memory. That is, in effect, the hard static sound of the last syllable, "get". shorts out the brain's message center. It has the same effect of, say, telling a stray dog to "git". Or eating a peanutbutter and jam sandwich in the bathtub, although I can't remember why this is specifically significant. At any rate, all these facts impress me and I have practically forgotten that the word exists. * ***** Does it not follow then, that all of us have memories equal to that of an elephant? It is a ponderous thought, all right, and I'd really rather that it didn't follow. If I know my elephants, about all they have to do is to walk a round eating and remembering who gave them the good peanuts and who gave them the bad ones. I think the point is eminently (or famously) clear. For, who was it that said: "Everything one hears or reads is imprinted on, or in rare cases, IN the brain"? Don Knotts, I think. * ***** There are rememberologists who claim that when one experiences a headache, it is an indication that one has crammed one too many facts into the head. Although followers of this school are not allowed as yet in the Rememberologists Association, I think with a little picketing and screaming, the Association will come around. , Now. how are these remembered facts released from the brain There are times when I suspect that a meeting is held to conskier what facts should be allowed to reach the voice box and, in my case, the board can never obtain a quorum. I understand, however, that the subconscious is the librarian. It scurries about filing facts under the Dewey decimal system as they pour through your eyes and ears. You can well imagine how pooped your librarian is at the end of the day. Reading late at night can leave her with great full purple circles around her eyes.* * * * a * Over the years I have developed tricky ways to resolve memory demands. If I am called upon to remember a difficult passage of a classic poem- --Cin, like "Twinkle, twinkle little astroner" --I find it very effective to lie down and go to sleep. Usually, by the time I awaken, the inquiring party has gone away.
Submitted by Wally Trabing in the Santa Cruz Sentinel, on June 8, 1975