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Wally Trabing's

Maps are

not-far- acing

IFE HAS A WAY of leaving some people parked four miles outside town — one might say if one happens to be in a yackety mood. One example surely is the personage who designs the folds of new maps. Once I unfold one and spread it out, I become edgy, like a race horse smelling smoke in a barn. Even though I be lost, I know my main problem will not be finding my way back to unlost land. My main problem will be folding the map back to its original shape. Without uttering words never taught to me by my mother.

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It is embarrassing enough to drive my car into such a confused situation. Or walk several wrong directions at once. It is several times more embarrassing when the right track is figured out, but you can't refold the map. *

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Road maps do not fold logically. Their creases offer no clues, only frustrating lines. Try to follow logical folds and you end up with a paper airplane or sometimes a dunce's hat. either of which will fit in the glove compartment. I have a cousin who once opened a map of Fresno Coun tr in his Volkswagen bug and had cause to panic. Iii crowded him clean out of the car. 1 16 order to use the bug again, he had to call the Three As, who sent out a map folding specialist.

Santa Cruz in the '40s

Here's what was happening in Santa Cruz County during the last few days of November and the first few days of December in 1943: Businesman Herb Coats People occasionally ask me: "Why were you not a noted that record sales in the county were only 'general in the big war?" And I say: "Because I failed the map refolding course stunted by the low avail-- — -ability of records. Boogie at West Point. woogie records were out"That's ridiculous," they say. "Ha!" I ha'd "Several important battles were lost due selling the classics. to nervous breakdowns of generals attempting to fold Watsonville noted the 50th anniversary of its town secret maps. "Why, one raving general was wheeled into a a field clock on the I.O.O.F. buildhospital still clutching a field map, which kept refolding ing. The county population into a swastika!" *** registered 44,030. The fact was -noted that So the question naturally arises: Who folds road the county produced 75 per maps? I phoned a man I know, high up in the firm which cent of all the dried apples produces maps and asked who works out the folding in the U.S. The publisher of the Santa designs. "Funny you should ask," he said. "They have one Cruz County Journal said the Journal would cease thing in common." publication for the duration "What's that?" of the war. "Sour stomachs ." Two new positions were "What's their problem?" "Funny you should ask. One guy is paying alimony to added to the police departtwo wives; another is a politician badly defeated in the ment: clerk and policewoman. last election, and three have husbands with gout." -

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Maps Are Not For Folding