50 Plus December 2014

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December 2014

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The magazine for active, mature lifestyles

You’re Not Alone 6

How to carry on after losing a loved one


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Pat Pankratz, 50 Plus! Editor 920-686-2138 | ppankratz@htrnews.com Dale Mahloch, Advertising Manager 920-686-2124 | dmahloch@htrnews.com 50 Plus! is published monthly by the Herald Times Reporter Media. It also is distributed to select businesses in Manitowoc County.

4 ADRC 6

ON THE COVER:

You’re Not Alone

Mike Pinelli and his wife, LuAnn Myers-Pinelli, reflect on the loss of her brothers making it difficult to celebrate the holidays in the midst of grief. Matthew Apgar/50 Plus

5 Tame that ringing in your ears and rock

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Flu viruses change every year and so do vaccines. More than 90 percent of deaths and 60 percent of hospitalizations due to flu occur in people 65 years and older. Everyone, 6 months of age and older, should get the flu vaccine every year as soon as it is available. Flu season usually peaks in January or February but can last as late as May. There are two types of vaccine: trivalent protects from three strains of flu and quadrivalent protects from four strains. There is also a high dose vaccine for people over age of 65. Discuss with your health care provider which vaccine is correct for you. It takes about two weeks after vaccination for antibodies to develop in the body. You cannot get the flu from the vaccine because it is inactivated, killed, flu virus.

The only way to reduce your risk of developing shingles and the possible pain that follows shingles it to get vaccinated. Anyone is at risk of developing shingles if they ever had chickenpox. The vaccine, zostavax, is recommended, by the CDC, for use in people 60 and older. Even if you have had shingles you should get the vaccine. Almost one out of every three people in the US will develop shingles. Every adult should get a Tdap, tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis vaccine once to protect against tetanus, diphtheria and pertussis (whooping cough), and then Immunizations continued on page 11

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Pneumococcal disease is an infection caused by the bacteria, streptococcus pneumonia. There are over 90 different types of this bacterium. Pneumococcal disease is responsible for more than 60,000 deaths in seniors every year. The bacterium is spread by coughing, sneezing, or contact with respiratory secretions. Treatment is more difficult since some of the strains are resistant to antibiotics. There are two vaccines: pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (PCV13) and pneumococcal polysaccharide vaccine (PPSV23). The vaccines are recommended for adults who are at high risk of pneumonia because of chronic medical conditions or age. The timing of doses and the number of doses vary depending on your health status. Check with your health care provider about what vaccine to get and when.

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Immunizations are important for all people through the life span. With aging, the immune system becomes less effective and people are more susceptible to infections. This may happen because of chronic health conditions such as diabetes, COPD, asthma, heart disease or cancer. We are also in close contact with other people, of various ages and health status, so we need to make sure that our immunizations are current. The most important vaccinations seniors should discuss with their health care provider include: flu vaccine, pneumococcal vaccine to prevent pneumonia, shingles and tetanus-diphtheria-pertussis vaccine (Tdap).

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ACA enrollment open through Feb. 15 By Cathy Ley I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. Open enrollment for the Affordable Care Act (ACA) started on Nov. 15 and will run through Feb. 15, 2015. In order to have coverage beginning Jan. 1, you must sign up for a plan before Dec. 31. Individuals on Medicare need not worry about having to change plans and enroll in a plan through the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Supplemental policies and Advantage plans remain, and are for people with Medicare. The Affordable Care Act does remove pre-existing conditions and lifetime limits on essential health benefits, allowing for those who have a medical condition to have access to the same affordable insurance as everyone else. Individuals can access the Affordable Care Act through the website: healthcare.gov. If you need assistance to enroll, there are a number of outreach and enrollment events being held throughout our area. Dec. 2 – Manitowoc Library: 1-7 p.m. (Franklin Room) Dec. 8 – Two Rivers Library: 4-7 p.m. (Webster Room) Dec. 9 – Peter’s Pantry: 9-11 a.m. Dec. 9 – Manitowoc Library: 1-5 p.m. (Franklin Room)

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Dec. 23 – Manitowoc Library: 1-5 p.m. (Franklin Room) Dec. 30 – Manitowoc Library: 1-5 p.m. (Franklin Room) In addition to these dates, help is also available at the Lakeshore Community Health Care Clinic. They can be

reached at (920) 686-2333 or by e-mail at outreach@lakeshorechc.org.

Medicare seminar The Aging & Disability Resource Center of the Lakeshore will be presenting a seminar entitled “Medicare: Parts A-D” on Wednesday, Dec. 10, at the Manitowoc County Office ComplexRoom 300, located at 4319 Expo Drive, Manitowoc. There will be two sessions offered that day from 1 to 3 p.m. and from 5 to 7 p.m. This presentation is for anyone turning age 65, individuals 65 and older or those under 65 with a disability, whether new to Medicare or already on Medicare and interested in more information. You will learn about Medicare costs and coverage for hospital, medical, prescriptions, skilled care, home care and hospice. This is a free presentation, but registration is requested. Please call (920) 6834180 to register or get more information.

Gifts for seniors With the holidays rapidly approaching, we are often asked about gifts for the senior population. When looking for that perfect gift for a special someone in your life, remember that sometimes the things most appreciated are the items that help to stretch their monthly income. Prepaying utility bills, gift cards for haircuts, lunch tickets at a meal site or prepaying for meals of individuals who are homebound and receiving home-delivered meals, transportation tickets, and non-perishable foods that can be eaten if meals cannot be delivered, because of the weather, all make perfect Christmas gifts. Our office will be closed Dec. 24 and 25 for Christmas. The office will also be closed on Dec. 31 and Jan. 1 for New Year’s. Happy holidays from all the staff of the Aging & Disability Resource Center of the Lakeshore! Cathy Ley is director of the Aging & Disability Resource Center of The Lakeshore.


Tame that ringing in your ears and rock on, boomers

BrandPoint Bob Dylan. The Rolling Stones. Led Zeppelin. Music helped define an entire generation of baby boomers. It expressed their fresh world view and energized them as they set the world in a new direction.

in their ears or head. Others even perceive singing or music. Neural hyperactivity causes the perception of sound.

can provide relief for many people. Hearing aids also reduce the stress associated with intensive listening, which alone can help relieve tinnitus symptoms.

As it turns out, tinnitus is most often the result of noise exposure, although it can be caused by other things as well. And it’s almost always accompanied by hearing loss. So it seems that all those years of rock concerts and loud stereos may have unwittingly set baby boomers up for the ringing in the ears that many are experiencing today.

There are other potential treatments available to boomers as well. Biofeedback, cognitive behavioral and mindfulness based stress reduction, and sound therapy are just some examples, among others.

Tinnitus is also more common than many people realize. In fact, it affects nearly 50 million Americans. And baby boomers are heavily hit by it, with roughly 21 percent of 55- to 64-year-olds experiencing tinnitus.

But if you’re like many from this music-filled, life-embracing generation, then some of that old time rock and roll may still be ringing in your ears. Literally.

The good news is there are things that boomers can do to help manage tinnitus and address the often-accompanying hearing loss so it doesn’t have to slow them down.

Tinnitus, commonly called “ringing in the ears,” is the perception of a sound in a person’s ears or head that has no external source. Many people with tinnitus experience ringing, humming, buzzing, or chirping

Hearing aids can help significantly. Not only do they improve hearing and communication, but they help reduce the prominence of tinnitus by amplifying background sound. Just taking the focus off the tinnitus

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The very best thing someone with ringing in the ears can do is to visit a hearing health care professional. Find someone with experience in treating tinnitus. And make an appointment for a hearing examination and consultation on the most appropriate treatment options for your symptoms and lifestyle. So take heart, boomers. You’ve been forging new paths for America to live by for decades now. It’s time to lead the way in how you manage that ringing in your ears and hearing loss - with that same characteristic energy, determination and innovation that turned the world on its head. For more information on hearing health, and to take a quick, confidential, online hearing check, visit www.BetterHearing.org.

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You’reNot Alone How to carry on after losing a loved one

Manitowoc woman lost two brothers in past three years By Joni Shavlik Being a church administrator, LuAnn Pinelli, 60, is no stranger to news of loss. Often the first one to know of someone’s death in the parish at Lakeshore United Methodist Church, she wasn’t expecting the call to be about her brother last spring. Larry Myers broke the news to LuAnn that his cancer was terminal and for the first time in his life, she said this very positive and happy person sounded “down.” “I think he was comfortable knowing where he was going, but sad he was leaving us,” LuAnn said. This came as an incredible blow, as they had just lost their older brother Skip (Clarence) Myers in May of 2012.

Top: LuAnn Myers-Pinelli finds comfort in her husband, Mike Pinelli, who helps her through the pain of the recent deaths of two of her brothers. Matthew Apgar/50 Plus Bottom: LuAnn Myers-Pinelli holds a pin depicting an image of lemonade and a lemon given out to attendees at the funeral of her brother, Larry, to commemorate his favorite phrase: “When life hands you a lemon, you make lemonade.” Matthew Apgar/50 Plus

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LuAnn and her two brothers grew up in central Pennsylvania. Their home life had some instabilities and LuAnn found herself often relying on her brothers. Skip was 11 years her senior and Larry 15 months her junior. The trio depended on each other, needed each other, and even after Skip moved to Ruther Glen, Va., and Larry to Montoursville, Pa., they still remained very close.

Among her fondest memories of Skip, LuAnn recalls standing on Skip’s feet, dancing with him while he did his best Elvis Presley rendition of “You Ain’t Nothin’ but a Hound Dog.” Skip was 69 years old when he succumbed to colon cancer. “He never had a colonoscopy … you always wonder ‘what if,’” LuAnn said. What if he’d gotten his first colonoscopy at age 50? Would one of the most treatable cancers not been able to claim another victim? “But you can’t keep going over that, what’s done is done,” she said. It’s been a difficult millennium for LuAnn, who now relies heavily on her husband of 11 years, Michael. “If it weren’t for Michael, I don’t know what I’d do,” she said. “He has been my rock through all of this.” LuAnn’s father had passed away on Jan. 16, 2002. He wasn’t formally educated, but was always reading. He worked for Piper Aircraft for 40-plus years. He had a heart condition and suffered a stroke, but those didn’t claim him; he was in a car accident at the age of 83 with a severely broken leg, and just couldn’t recover from that, his heart gave out.

who is grieving. She knows people truly care and meant well when they said things to her like, “he’s led a good life.” She calls the loss of her father, “the deepest loss I had ever known. You know you are likely to lose your parents, but when the time comes, it doesn’t matter if he’s age 84 or 104, it’s still not enough! I just always wished for one more day. When they say that, it’s almost like it doesn’t count because he’s old!” She knows she will not be saying, “I know how you feel” to another mourner, grief is unique to each individual. She will not say, “How are you doing,” because she didn’t know how to answer that question when asked of her. She will not say, “If you need anything let me know” because although meant well, it’s not a concrete enough statement to give help. Instead she’ll say, ‘I’m thinking of you’, ‘I’m praying for you’, ‘I know times are hard right now, I care,’ or most importantly, ‘tell me about your loved one’ because the biggest help for her is to be able to talk about her loss.

Words difficult to find

LuAnn asked Michael, “When is it going to be ‘ok’?” He replied, “It’s never going to be ‘ok’, it’s just going to be more manageable.”

LuAnn knows that it’s difficult to know just what to say to someone

The loss of her mother in June of 2006 left LuAnn a bit angry. Doro-


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FIND OUT! Mementoes of her brothers fill LuAnn Myers home. Matthew Apgar/50 Plus

thy Myers whizzed through heart surgery, a valve replacement. “She was doing fabulous! She was in rehab when she died from a staph infection. I have a little bit of anger about that. People have said that, it’s God’s will, but I don’t believe that God does that. Why would He? No, I believe that some bad things just happen in nature, like staph infections. When LuAnn’s younger brother Larry was sick she remembers being angry at God. “He didn’t’ make Larry sick, but I couldn’t understand why some prayers were answered the way we wanted, and why some weren’t. I still struggle with that.”

How does one cope? There was a time, three weeks after her father’s death, that she actually got through a day without crying. “Am I over it now?” she wondered. “I finally started feeling like I could get through a day without falling apart. There are times now, 13 years later, that I miss dad, or I want to call mom and tell her something about the grandkids.” Larry was 59 years old when he died, two weeks before his first grandchild was born. He had been diagnosed with lung cancer in February 2014 and died Aug. 1 of this year. Being 15 months apart in age, the pair were often considered twins. “Michael and I would sit down for supper and the phone would

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ring, and it would be Larry, he had a knack for calling during supper,” she said. Now if the phone rings during supper it’s difficult for her. Adding to the stressful times, Michael had also lost a very close friend at the same time that Larry had passed. “He’d hold me and let me cry, he was focused on making sure I was OK, yet he was grieving, too. He internalizes it a lot more, but we talked it through and I am trying to be more aware of his pain and loss too.”

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Crossword: WORLD LEADERS

sudoku 47. MCL spot 48. Sung before games 50. Suggestive of supernatural 52. *Kim Yo Jong to Kim Jong Un 53. Praise or glorify 55. Mercator projection, e.g. 57. *”Wizard of Omaha” 61. *Head of Her Majesty’s Government 65. Tear jerker 66. ET’s craft 68. Shade of violet 69. Rosie’s connector 70. It’s collapsable in NBA 71. Audience’s approval 72. Donald and Ivana, e.g. 73. Clinton ___ Rodham 74. _____ of film, pl.

DOWN

ACROSS

1. Fictional elephant 6. Comprised or embodied 9. Attention grabber 13. Swelling 14. Possess 15. Corner joint 16. Moth-_____ 17. Mauna ___, Hawaii 18. Be theatrical

19. *He arrived with a puff of smoke? 21. “___ and ____,” 1992 Tom Cruise movie 23. *Former Haiti President, “Baby ___” Duvalier 24. To clean corn 25. Goon 28. Redecorate, e.g. 30. Vandalizing a car

35. Donkey sound 37. Push for something 39. “_____ de Lammermoor” 40. Fit of shivering 41. *He annexed most of Crimea 43. C in COGS 44. Food-grinding tooth 46. Spanish surrealist Joan

1. Bone to pick 2. Jewish month 3. ____-carotene 4. Change, as in U.S. Constitution 5. Resentment 6. Stir fry pans 7. Leave speechless 8. Big mess 9. Extra long stable cotton 10. Stash in the hold 11. ___ _ good example 12. Deuce topper 15. *German Chancellor 20. Freeze over 22. Query 24. With bound limbs 25. *Leader of the Free World? 26. Ar on Periodic Table

Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all digits 1 through 9. Crossword and Sudoku solutions on page 10.

27. “The _____ in Our Stars” 29. ____ set, in a band 31. Exclamation for disgust 32. Religious paintings 33. Japanese-American 34. *One of biggest philanthropists in the world 36. Uh-huh 38. De Valera’s land 42. Marilyn Monroe’s original given name 45. Give in to pressure 49. Dojo turf 51. Cry like an animal

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54. 180 on a road 56. *Begin and Sadat signed a _____ treaty in ‘78 57. Drill 58. Type of operating system 59. *James Monroe: U.S. President number ____ 60. *Kennedy and Khrushchev, e.g. 61. Dog command 62. *What monarchs do 63. *____ office 64. New Jersey hoopsters 67. Show disapproval


You’rE Not Alone

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7

and cry some more. Michael is quiet and his healing comes in the form of helping others, getting LuAnn through this; he doesn’t have to spend too much time in his own grief, and there is joy in being there for others.

Effects of grief Emotionally LuAnn has yet to get through a day without crying since Larry’s death. Spouses and parents, or children of the deceased, are often the focus. Siblings are often “the forgotten mourners,” LuAnn said. “We were so close! Now both of my siblings and my parents are gone and I feel like a 60-yearold orphan, but I have Michael and my children are wonderful!” “Physically I just wish I could get a good night’s sleep,” she adds. “If I wake up, I’m panicky, knowing that something really bad happened, and then I realize that I’ve just lost my little brother. He was a large part of my children’s lives, it’s hard on them as well. LuAnn has four grown children from

The “OP” stands for “ordinary person.” Spaulding has grief facilitator training as well as the time and caring to run these groups. He knows when to get the meeting back on track, when to give someone else a chance to speak, when to allow folks to sit in silence, and when to refer mourners to a specialist. He’s had to call the suicide hotline to put a participant on a watch list and get others involved, those are nights he may lose some sleep.

Lakeshore Grief Support Programs. 920-698-0998

her first marriage. She also has three grandchildren.

LuAnn and all of her children were able to go out and visit Larry last July 4. “It Robert Spaulding, coordinator of the was a wonderful time, but Larry really Lakeshore Grief Support Group. failed after that, he was in a lot of pain,” she said. LuAnn was with him when he Counseling available died. In fact, she was with her parents and her older brother Skip when they Lakeshore Grief Support Programs of died as well. She couldn’t not be there, Manitowoc County has walk-in meetings available. Family and friends need she said. to be able to talk about their grief with At times she feels like a burden to others other people going through the same because of her grieving. loss. “People must be thinking, ‘OK, let’s get Robert Spaulding is an “OP” with an over it already,’” she said. extraordinary experience. Spaulding has “I wish I could flip the switch and turn traveled to the “other side” and back it off,” she added. “I look in the mirror after shaking hands with a live 277-volt sometimes and see the sadness in my wire in May of 2006. He describes lookface and I hope it doesn’t affect my work ing “into the light” and seeing each of his or the people close to me.” children during the experience through As LuAnn was exiting the church af- his mind’s eye. “I felt love times ten milter Larry’s funeral, her daughter-in-law lion” says Spaulding. He said what he said, “LuAnn, from this day forward its felt during that powerful experience that one foot in front of the other,” LuAnn made him need to come back and share said. That has been her mantra since. it with these grief support groups.

Lakeshore Grief Support Services has organized 4 to 6 week programs that are slightly more structured and help people understand their stages of grief, help them find ways to cope. “The Walk-Ins are better attended, there’s no commitment, you just go when you need to. We could have anywhere from 1 to 16 people.” They are busier during the holidays. The key purpose is to let mourners know that they are not alone, yes, your grief is unique to you, but others are there to help you that are either grieving or have found a better place. When asked ‘how do you know you are helping these people?’ he replied “Oh You’re not alone continued on page 11

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Immunizations CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3

You’rE Not Alone CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9

a Td, tetanus, diphtheria, booster vaccine every ten years thereafter. Pertussis causes severe coughing spells, vomiting and disturbed sleep. A person can have mild or severe disease and still be contagious. Anyone who is going to have close contact with a pregnant woman or newborn, needs to be up to date on their Tdap vaccine to help protect the newborn from pertussis.

that’s easy, they want to start helping others”.

Immunizations are available through your primary care provider. Tdap is available from the Health Department because Wisconsin is currently in a pertussis outbreak. You may call 920-683-4155 to make an appointment for your Tdap. If you are planning on traveling abroad you may need additional vaccinations. Check for needed vaccinations by going to: www.cdc.gov/travel/page/ vaccinations . Make an appointment with a travel clinic at least 4 to 6 weeks before your trip to get vaccinations. This will allow enough time for immunity to build and give you protection during your trip. In addition to taking care of your body by eating correctly, exercising, treating health problems, being socially active, immunizations are a vital for staying healthy in your future. Barbara Herrmann is a public health nurse with the Manitowoc County Health Department.

Nobody wants to be alone over the holidays, but when grieving, you can be surrounded by people and yet still feel alone because nobody understands. You see the whole world celebrating and you feel a million miles away from it all, and then a song like “Blue Christmas” comes on and you lose it. At the grief support groups Spaulding tries to teach people how to become a part of it again. The meetings are all confidential, “We treat it like ‘HIPPA” so nothing is discussed or shared outside of the room. Three things you need to know about the meetings are that the facilitators are not professional therapists, confidentiality is key, and you should feel free to talk, or not to talk.

A listing of bereavement groups is available online at https://sites.google.com/site/adrcofthelakeshore/ bereavement-support-groups. There you will find support through both Aurora and Holy Family hospitals, Faith Lutheran of Valders, Hospice Advantage, St’s Peter and Paul Catholic Church of Kiel, Circle of Faith Catholic Community and Spaulding’s group – Lakeshore Grief Support Programs phone 6980998. Their schedule is listed at https://sites.google. com/site/adrcofthelakeshore/bereavement-supportgroups/lscsp2013schedule.

There are about 15 facilitators for Lakeshore Grief and Support “But we need more!” Not all of them are able to host meetings, and volunteers are categorized by Spaulding. There are facilitators of meetings, hospitalitarians (they make prayer shawls or bake cookies, communicators (promote the meetings), and observers (folks on the list of volunteers that wait to be called for a need).

S E N I O R C E N T E R TA L K S Manitowoc Senior Center • Monday 12/8 11:00 A.M. Two Rivers Senior Center • Monday 12/15

• Free Lunch and Learn Pre-registration required: 652-0116 Class size limited

"It's not the seed, it's the soil" - Natural Immunity"

Advanced Family Chiropractic 1632 N 18th St • Manitowoc 652-0116 • manitowochealth.com

WI-5001833333

Dr. Heimerl Presents:

11:00 A.M.

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Creating A Community of Caring When Shady Lane, Inc. was founded in 1951, its goal was to serve our community with a range of care at a reasonable cost under the direction of community leaders. Community leaders envisioned a not-for-profit organization dedicated to offering best care practices. Today, our board of directors is drawn from community leaders. We serve without stock-holders, only stake-holders who are dedicated to the needs of our community.

A Smarter Approach to Rehab

The day you plan your stay at Rehab at Shady Lane is the day we begin preparing for you to leave us. Your team – including your surgeon, your medical facility, and our staff – optimizes resources and plans the best way for you to recover. Because our rehab unit is separate from other units, you are surrounded by people who share your objective of going home. Add to this a healing diet, a cuisine of “power foods” designed to encourage healing.

Designed for Living

It’s a little like living at a resort . . . no shopping, no cooking, no cleaning! Bring your own furnishings and make yourself at home. You’ll find the security of having the help you need when you need it and the privacy you want. Offering accommodations from a single bedroom to a 2-bedroom apartment.

Short Term Stays Available!

Planning surgery but feeling uncomfortable going home? We can help. Come and stay for a few days until you’re comfortable on your own.

You Deserve A Place Of Your Own When you’ve worked your entire life, you deserve a place to call your own. All of our rooms are private rooms with bathrooms and we offer some suites which include a living room, bedroom and private bath. Our attentive nursing staff is dedicated to compassionate and loving care. • Private Rooms & Suites • Hospice Care • Medicare & Medicaid Certified

Find out more... Theresa Patrick Director of Community Relations 920-682-8254 for a private tour

Since 1951

Manitowoc’s only not-for-profit citizen directed care facility. 1235 South 24th Street • Manitowoc, WI • www.shadylaneinc.com • 920-682-8254

Like us on Facebook at Shady Lane, Inc.

• Dining • Housekeeping Services • Laundry Room • On-site Clinic • Beautiful Gardens • Social Services • Parking • Beauty & Barber Shop • Activities • Therapy available through HFM Rehab Services of Holy Family Memorial 12 . December 2014 . 50

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