parenting
Quick Read
stealing
No ‘steal’thy act Like lying, “stealing” is an adult term that may not mean anything to young children. Take a moment to understand why children steal and how to handle this common problem toy car that turns up in the pocket of a four-year-old after a visit to a friend’s house is not proof that
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BONUS
your child is already a delinquent. To the preschool child, possession means ownership. In a child’s mind he has a right to anything within grabbing
You can let off first offenders with a warning, but mention that he will get punished for similar action if he repeats. Apologizing can be stressful, so you can offer to do it together
JULY 2013
The best way to teach lasting values is to draw the lessons out of a child rather than imposing them. You want the “give it back” idea to come from the child if at all possible. One of the reasons a child will steal is because he wants to gain attention from someone. Make sure you don’t raise your voice, get angry, point or jab at your child. Ensure that it is clear to your children that you forgive them, still love them.
has stolen from. Sometimes this alone can be humiliating enough for him to never do it again. To avoid a repeat offense, ask what happened though all signs point to petty theft, give your child a chance to explain. Kids of this age are often honest when asked directly, so don’t bother being coy.
Express disapproval
You can say that stealing hurts people -- including the thief, who gets in trouble and could lose a friend.
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distance. Children under four have difficulty distinguishing between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’. Everything is potentially ‘mine’. They don’t know that palming a piece of candy at the grocery store is stealing until you tell them so. Many preschool children can’t curb their impulses. They see the toy, feel they must have it, and take it without any judgment as to the rightness or wrongness of the action. Instead of guilt, they feel relief that their craving has satisfied. At around five to seven years of age children develop a hazy notion of the wrongness of stealing. They can understand the concept of ownership and property rights. Encouraging and helping the child to return stolen goods teaches not only that stealing is wrong, but also that wrongs must be made right. If you are sure your child has stole something, make him apologize to whoever he
Find out what prompts the child to steal. Help the child learn work ethics.
or even role-play beforehand. If this happens often, talk to your doctor. Mood disorders or other problems may be at play. Praise honesty. If your tot finds somebody’s wallet and brings it to you, praise him for his action.