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Have you received any feedback or read any reviews yet? J. Everyone who’s heard it so far has creamed, they’ve creamed upon it. The songs are better than orgasms, it’s been proven scientifically. They’ve wired people brains and when they listen to the album their pleasure cylinders fire on all cylinders. K, can I get your back up on this? K. I’ve read every review so far and they’ve varied about 90% positive. There was a bad one. J. Who fucking dared? K I can’t remember who it was! It said the big comeback falls short. J. What a dick! My mum likes it a lot. K. That guy’s either a lier or has the worst taste. J. You know what I wanna to, I want to go back into the archives and see who he likes. Maybe, ‘Well Linkin Park’s new album, that’s an album I can really get behind! That’s an album I can really sing and dance to!’. That fucking asshole can just chew on it all day long. And when I say ‘it’ I mean my shit. So a fair chunk of your tour is going to be spent in Europe in June. What do you like about performing for this specific audience and what are you hoping for thse shows? J. Well we’ve never played in Germany before so that will be interesting. We’re looking forward to seeing if the hunger for The ‘D’ is as ravenous as we’ve heard. But the UK has always been some of the best shows we’ve ever had. They just have a deeper appreciated for rock than the rest of the world. And it makes sense, I 034
would say most of the best rock has come from the UK, and it makes sense that they would appreciate it more. Wouldn’t you agree K? K. I do, I think the people in the UK are just a little smarter, a little more sophisticated. Thank you UK. You’re also going to be playing Download festival in June. What can we expect from your set? J. Well I’ve heard that if they don’t like you they throw urine at you. Hopefully we’ll be well liked. But you should expect an umbrella – I’ll bring an umbrella just in case. As much as I appreciate the golden showers, I don’t think it would be safe - there’s possible electrocution. K. I think we’ll be playing fewer songs than we usually do. J. That’s right, the festival crowd – you’ve got to keep it tight. K. Look forward to a very economical set. J. You can expect a spirited…no, muscular set. There should be a sexier word than muscular, but fuck it. It’s gonna be a good set. K. Enthusiastic? J. No… K. Stimulating? J. But you’ll be hearing new songs. We’re gonna kick the teeth right out of the gig with some new songs. K. We’ll massage their libidos in the second half with some old favourites. J. But it’s probably gonna be about 45 minutes of love. Rize of the Fenix is out now. JNS