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Famous Mayor: ‘Diamond’ Joe Quimby Mayor of: Springfield Would they work in Brum? Mayor Quimby rules the city where the people are yellow with a rod of wads of notes wrapped in brown envelopes. No method of corruption or mode of bung is too obscure for ‘Diamond’ Joe to have a finger in, even though he only has six. His womanising ways wouldn’t sit well with the Birmingham electorate who are already confused enough by local MP John Hemming’s love life. That said, he his modeled on the Kennedy clan so Brummies could be turned by his celebrity connections— after all we’ve only really got Jasper Carrott. Famous Mayor: Mayor McCheese Mayor of: McDonaldland Would they work in Brum? The numero uno, the big cheese, of McDonaldland, Mayor McCheese has a beefburger for a head and sports a top hat, a diplomat’s sash, and a pair of pince-nez glasses. So far so much like many of the current councillors, and the official McDonaldland Wikipedia page says he is “portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, and somewhat incompetent mayor” so maybe not one we’ll be voting for any time soon. His record on crime (or ‘hamburgling’) is poor.

Famous Mayor: Clint Eastwood Mayor of: Carmel-by-the-Sea, California Would they work in Brum? I don’t think he’s played one on screen, but ol’ Dirty Harry himself was the real life mayor of a tiny place in California— voted in by this fellow movie stars and artists. The town has—seriously—a ban on wearing high heeled shoes without a permit, so we’d like to see him tackle Broad Street on a Friday night with his Smith and Wesson. Did he fire six shots or only five? And how many did he fire in Spearmint Rhino? JB


Famous Mayor: The mayor off of 60s Batman Mayor of: The camp version of Gotham City Would they work in Brum? You

know, in Batman with Adam West there was a white haired old gent who stood around looking confused with Commissioner Gordon? His decisions ran like this: there is a problem caused by a supervillan, he’s not really sure what’s going on, Mayor Linseed turns on the bat signal. In Birmingham how would that really work? If an evil genius is draining the canals or turning everyone that touches the canapés in Glynn Purnell’s restaurant to stone, I’m not sure that flicking the switch on a giant lamp is going to do much.


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