So Long, Farewell 2017 trends that need to die already.
WORDS BY BIANCA O’NEILL ILLUSTRATION BY TWYLAMAE
It's been a confusing year for fashion. We had a $2000 Ikea bag. We had a denim thong walk down the runway, and a Balenciaga/Crocs collab. Hell, we even had a scandal or two in the form of fake designer goods… But there are seven trends that offended me this year even more than Gorpcore, and I can’t wait for them to die a quick death in the glowing embers of the NYE fireworks. FISHNETS
Probably the year’s most controversial trend, fishnets were seen everywhere. From bloggers’ feeds to street style galleries. The twist? They were layered under ripped jeans, pulled Urkelstyle high over waistbands, and peeked out underneath pants. It was all terrible, and everyone who posted it will regret the pictures imminently. GUCCI
If there was one designer brand that ruled the ’gram this year, it was Gucci. The double Gs were plastered all over T-shirts, bags, belts and shoes, from go to woah. I blame last year’s fur slides for the rise in fame, but I blame basic bishes for the proliferation of logo-mania. Doesn’t anyone remember the old adage ‘the bigger the branding, the tackier the wearer’? It’s time to find a new obsession. LOGO TEES
Onto the second cousin of the double Gs: the logo tee. This one started with a $600 Gucci tee early on in 2017, and continued with a subtle take from Saint Laurent, as well as a not-so-subtle take from Givenchy. Please place your logo tees in the bin before advancing to 2018, along with those hideous YSL-logo-heel pumps. OFF-THE-SHOULDER
2017 was the year of the off-the-shoulder top. And if you really wanted to turn up the micro-trend meter, you also added a ruffle and a flared sleeve. Ugh. I blame this trend on the endless radio airplay of ‘Despacito’. UGLY SNEAKERS
Balenciaga has a lot to answer for this year. From the aforementioned Ikea bag and Crocs collab, to the Bern-lenciaga politico logos, and finally, to the Seinfeld sneaker. They weren’t even the first ones
to bring it back. Raf Simons had the jump on the trend, showing it back in 2015 for adidas. It was ugly in the ’90s, it was ugly when Raf did it, and it’s still ugly now that Balenciaga has shoved a $1000 price tag on it. Everyone just stop, pls.
Kim K had us frothing over chokers this year. Even I succumbed to this ’90s remix. It died as quickly as it took over our lives for a hot second, and I’d like to put it in the ‘no go zone’ for 2018, please. I’ve sobered up and I regret it immensely.
The last few years have seen feeds filled with black and white boringness, but it’s time for a return to real life (and colour). Put down the Snapseed desaturation tool, and embrace the natural environment. Trees aren’t meant to be grey, you guys. This also goes for boring style ‘inspo’ in the form of black skinny jeans and a white tee on a size 6 model. THIS IS NOT STYLE. IT IS ALSO NOT INSPO.
This was already over in 2016. Can we pump the breaks on mermaid hair, pink hair, unicorn hair et al? Not only is it totally overplayed, and no longer hair inspo in any form, it’s also just really bad for your locks. I’m calling for a return to au naturale next year. It’ll save me time, money and a whole lot of colour anxiety.