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Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. (taken from “Children” by Kahlil GIbran)

“Your Children are not Your Children.” By Diani Apsari Soft Pastel and pencil on paper 29.7 cm x 42 cm

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:Muse “ Sing to me of the man , Muse , the man of twists and turns driven time and again off course...” The opening of one of the most famous epic poems throughout history reminds us that we are just shells that continuously filled by the music and poetry of Divine inspiration . We are still not understood what is “inspiration” although we called it feminine way. For many of us “inspiration” is still a Goddess even when many temples become ruins and paradise only exist in poetry . That Goddess was very humble and yet mysterious because we can find her lived in the hubbub of the market or a quiet corner of our room . She was very quiet but not shy when we asked her to come . This Poem issue is our delayed greeting to her. That morning when we drink coffee with her, complaining and telling stories, she said, “ At the touch of love , everyone can be a poet “ Instantly we fall in love . * Perhaps there are readers who refute and determine the words above are from Plato , forgetting a goddess can turn into anyone she wants . Rumi Siddharta Editor in Chief

Cover: “Sentimental Girl With Asteria” By Rukii Naraya

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SIX PROSE (AND) LOVE POETRY Pride and Prejudice by: Rumi Siddharta

“And so ended his affection,” said Elizabeth impatiently. “There has been many a one, i fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!” “I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love,” said Darcy. “Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Every thing nourishes what is strong alredy. But if it be only slight, thin sort of inclination, i am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.”

Blinding Love Blind love seems to be born since we could see the sun. Love affair with poetry seems to be born since the first time we built our temple. In 1880, a clay tablet, contained one of the first sentence recorded in human history, was found in the ancient city of Nippur, Iraq. In a 4000-years old poetry, written on the first line, ,”Bridegroom, dear to my heart, Goodly is your beauty, honeysweet, You have captivated me, let me stand trembling before you; Bridegroom, I would be taken to the bedchamber.”’ Of course the hermeneutics takes its role here. That erotic poetry is a spell that was spoken by a female priest on a fertility ritual. Ancient Sumerian fertility ritual is usually a

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repetition of the sexual encounter between Inana, the fertility and love goddess with Durmuzi, a shepherd. The ritual is held once a year by a female priest who acts as Inana and the ruling king as Durmuzi. Ancient Greece people had so much definition of love in many categories. Philia is for the love between friends, Agape is for spiritual love, and Eros is for erotic love. Modern people would see it as grouping, but the early society saw it from a different perspective. All of them are completing each other to represent love itself in which symposium Plato was mentioned as the eldest God. Inana Poetry is just an artifact of that belief.

Right: Émile Bernard Madeleine au Bois d’Amour. Madeline in the forest of love 1888 Left: work by Shahzia Sikander

The unity of love is delivered to our daily life by ancient Egypt’s poetry, and also, in the Song of Solomon verse in the book of the Old Testament. The transcendence is always harder to be defined and we choose to pictured it into some kind of form which is more acceptable and understandable, that is love. Just look at one part of the Song of Solomon:

“I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer. The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me; the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me.  I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell him, that I am sick of love. What is thy beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? what is thy beloved more than another beloved, that thou dost so charge us?” Inana’s poetry or Song of Solomon may not be called a poetry for some people. The others may be failed to see the spiritualism on it, but it is obvious that they are translating love. Love which needs no explanation, love which burns us to marrow. Blind love to Pico, a Renaissance writer, is a form of the highest glorification to The Supreme. ”Let us enter into the light of ignorance and, blinded by the darkness of divine splendour” he said. Poetry - 9

Little Things Acep Iwan Saidi, a poet, said that love itself was poetry of its own. Both are mystical experiences which translated in daily ritual. Hence their presence are not often recognized. To find it is asceticism of Zen monks. Which foot do you step first when you go out? How many phone numbers are saved on you cellphone? How many people have you ever loved? We already see every day daily as an external experience. Poetry is a blurry portrait. See Rumi’s poetry, he honestly explains that love in fact is non-language. Language helps us find little things around us:

What was said to the rose that made it open was said to me here in my chest. What was told the cypress that made it strong and straight, what was whispered the jasmine so it is what it is, whatever made sugarcane sweet, whatever was said to the inhabitants of the town of Chigil in Turkestan that makes them so handsome, whatever lets the pomegranate flower blush like a human face, that is being said to me now. I blush. Whatever put eloquence in language, that’s happening here. The great warehouse doors open; I fill with gratitude, chewing a piece of sugarcane, in love with the one to whom every that belongs!

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Trick There is a trick known by poets which is called kokofoni. Kokofoni is the dominant use of vocal letters especially in the end of the line which could make us strangely and unexplainably feel happy. This trick are usually used in love poetry. Magician is a man’s blood, kitsch flowing instinctively to us.

Cintaku jauh di pulau, gadis manis, sekarang iseng sendiri  Perahu melancar, bulan memancar,  di leher kukalungkan ole-ole buat si pacar.  angin membantu, laut terang, tapi terasa  aku tidak ‘kan sampai padanya.  Di air yang tenang, di angin mendayu,  di perasaan penghabisan segala melaju  Ajal bertakhta, sambil berkata:  “Tujukan perahu ke pangkuanku saja,”  Amboi! Jalan sudah bertahun ku tempuh!  Perahu yang bersama ‘kan merapuh!  Mengapa Ajal memanggil dulu  Sebelum sempat berpeluk dengan cintaku?!  Manisku jauh di pulau,  kalau ‘ku mati, dia mati iseng sendiri.  Chairil Anwar 1946

Usual A contemporary poet, Marilyn Hacker, once stated “trick” of love poems. She said that love poems are usually containing seduction, about the behavior which is caused by love, and never about what love is. In the end, love poems could also be non-universal. There is not any same experience. There is no such thing as cliché. Layla Majnum and Romeo Juliet could verse almost the same, but never feel the same. The poets lie to us. Wisely, Efek Rumah Kaca, the band, state that “falling in love is common”. The fact that we usually find poetries about jealousy, uncertainty, and anger which is followed by separation may only be a literary intelligence. At the end, it is still not possible to do love through poem. We are too stubborn to admit and conservatively resist such enlightenment. That kind of resistance is the greatest success achieved by love poem. We don’t know if the well-known poem Bright Star could eternized Fanny Brawne’s love towards John Keats but at least it could perfectly eternize our perception about love What remained in Pandora Jar

Johannes Vermeer - De Soldaat en het Lachende Meisje c. 1655-1660 oil on canvas

Yinka Shonibare, MBE, The Confession, 2007. Two mannequins, Dutch wax printed

I was disturbed by Acep Iwan Saidi’s words when we’re chattering, “Because the principal of every poem is to find love, then it would die after meet the purpose. When I marry my wife, I quit writing poem to make her happy.” The answer from a poet is, obviously, problematic answer because it is way too philosophical as well. Is happy love an oxymoron? Why is loving not the same with making happy? At that point, I started to think modestly. I suddenly feel like never stop writing until the time comes for me to makes the loved one happy. Time to be charmed. Love poems could possibly fail all the time but they will always be written to keep what Pandora left in its jar. The abstract essence called hope.

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: Tjeritera

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: EXIT a conversation with Amna Oriana

“My dreams?” “My God, when was the last time people ask me this question?” All of the sudden that girl looked surprised and laughed, showed an expression that will always stay in my mind. “This question takes up most of my time answering these interview questions haha, to stop and think.” “Well as for myself, I don’t think I really run my life towards my dreams. I mean, dreams are rather childish and as I grow up, I prefer to call them ‘targets’ now, because it’s like the more realistic and grown-up way to call ‘dreams’. Hm, the point is when you put it into targets, you will set up your own visions, goals, and will be like how to achieve them, so it will feel more realistic and you’ll be more ambitious to achieve. “As for dreams, I don’t know, it just feels empty and merely a daydream.” “Hahaha but they’re really just my honest opinions” “Tho idk if this can be considered as a dream, but before sleep or in my daydreaming routine,” “I like to picturing myself and my future family, live happily in a white house that facing east with many windows” “The windows wouldn’t use grids like in typical houses in Indonesia” “haha” “So it would be really bright at noon and at the morning when the sun rises and the lights will come through the windows and illuminate the house perfectly with the white walls. My own studio for work and my meditation room to gather inspirations will be on the attic” “Also, the house will surrounded by spacious

front garden and back garden full of hydrangeas, or lily of the valley, or calla lilies, or anything pretty, or basically my favorite pretty flowers so I can pick them at their prettiest bloom and place them to decorate the house or to draw them in desperate attempt to be a botanical watercolor artist” “It’s pretty plain to be considered as a dream” “It’s gone a bit far from my childhood dream” “I’ve ever wanted to be a pianist, and the next day I wanted to be a ballerina, and the next days I wanted to be an astronaut” “But there’s that all I have in mind right now when it comes to dream.” “Ha! Why are you spacing out!” she scolded suddenly. “Ah, hahaha listening to your story is like enjoying sweet dishes in a sweet afternoon with a cup of tea” I said “hahaha” she laughed and blushed. Amna. She was born in Denpasar, moved to Bandung when she was 2,5 years old and grew up in Bandung. “Basically I’ve been spending most of my life in Bandung. And um, I also spent 3 years of high school in Magelang, but I didn’t really count those 3 years I had back then.” “Amna Oriana is my real name. I once hated my own name”, “First, it’s started with A and always had to be the first on the school absent, I once wished my name was started with Z” “And then, people always misspell my name like it’s very uncommon and my name tragically changed to be Anna, Amma, Anma, Omna, Amno, Afna, Abna, Aminah, etc been there done that but now it’s all over.” “Hahahahaha”

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“Amna is…errr typical graphic designer slash illustrator who although say that I do not just ‘sit around and draw all day’” “Well I actually do just ‘sit around and draw all day’” “hahaha.” “I am a freelance graphic designer. Working in my room, from my bed to be precise” she added That afternoon went slow. I took a ¾ sized guitar, playing a song. That girl was in her own world, with a pencil, doodling on a paper. For a second there was a sweet smell of baked cookies. “Are you baking cookies?” I asked. “No” she replied “Hmmm…” “Since when have you been drawing? With her eyes stayed on the edge of the pencil, she continued telling me her story.

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“Um, I›ve been drawing ever since I can remember. My mom said ever since I can grab a pencil or a pen or anything that can make a scratch, I›ve always been drawing, in a piece of paper, wall, pile of dust in the window, foggy car windows, school textbooks, tissues, etc etc.”


“What you feel when you draw?”

“My ultimate favorite artist is Audrey Kawasaki, to purchase one or two of her artworks is one of my life goals actually haha. I also have this huge crush on Alphonse Mucha›s paintings. Beside those two, I enjoy artworks from Yuko Shimizu, Victo Ngai, Yoko Tanji, Yasunari Ikenaga, and Brittney Lee.”

“What I feel when I draw?” “Hmmm, freedom?” “Well I work as graphic designer and I can’ really express myself through that. I mean, I work based on what my clients› requests, what my clients› need, what my clients› want, tho I adjust all those requests and reform them in my own style, I still can›t fully express myself (not to mention the infinite battles with infinite revisions) and it›s pretty much tiring.” “Hmm, drawing is your own exit?” “Where I can put myself at ease and I don’t really need to please my clients or anyone.” “So what I want to share in my drawing is... “Nothing.”

“My drawings are solely the form of free myself from tiresome feeling.” She laughed again, showing her clean teeth. “Who is your favorit artist?”

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: .... a conversation with Angga Pratama

He is eating salted fish, complete with petai and sambal. I drink my sweet ice tea and light a cigarette. Angga Pratama is a son, brother, and lover. My real name is Pangeran Cahaya ketigabelas. Born in Bandung, grew up in between Bandung, Jakarta, and Holland. Currently been living the dream in paradise island shooting people.

“You are very intense with fashion, women, nudity, and buttocks. Since when have you photographed such things?”

“What’s your childhood like?” I ask him

“I usually ask them directly. If they want to, it’s my luck. Otherwise, it’s okay.

“Pretty interesting.” ������������������������ ������������������������� Answer him who is enjoying his salted fish.

“Since the first time I shoot.” “What influenced you to shoot such things?” “Libido, perhaps. Hash tag excessively horny” “How to approach the models you’re working with?”

“What camera do you use?”

“I know that you are currently living in Holland, could you tell me what actually makes you decide to stay there? And what is the neighbourhood like?

“My favorite cameras which could be fitted with Carl Zeiss lens. Mostly, Contac, Yashica, and Olympus.”

“I was a mischievous kid in Jakarta, so I was sent to Holland. Actually I still have Dutch ancestry and many of my family were living there, so my mom decided to send me there.”


“Actually, those are all I have”

“Who is your fave photographer?” “Hm, there are lots of them.”

“When is the first time you were introduced to photography? What is the importance of photography for you?” He has finished his lunch, gulped from his cold beer bottle, opened a pack of cigarette and smoke it deeply. “In 2003. When my uncle gave me a camera.”

“Photography is quite important for me, I live from it.”

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: A Little Happines From Celebes a conversation with Yujin Sick

The boy opened a pack of milk from his bag. He sticked a straw to a hole in the corner of the milk box. The sound of him sipping milk into his throat was collided with the sound of the spinning steel wheel. We were sitting in an economy train carriage, on our way to Malang. The boy is sitting right in front of me. Then he returned to focus on the book on his lap. I saw him drawing something. He was sketching a man who was sitting in the corner of the carriage. “Yujin,” He told me his name. “I am heading to Malang as well, homeward.” “Are you from Jogja?” I asked him.

Cellebes there are not so many people like art, like pop art. So java is a better place for me,” “Ah, doing art is so much important for you?” “Art is everything” “Seriously, what we see, what we feel, what we touch, what we eat, everything” “Hmm... I don’t know why, the first think that I see is drawing, and painting. My father is a fine art artist, I always see his painting, he always gives me paper & crayon, and I really love it.” “I never found teenagers who share the same interest in pop art.” A train steward offered lunch menu. I ordered fried rice and sweet tea. Yujin put his sketchbook in to his bag.

“Yes, was just visiting my exhibition in Jogja.” “So, you are an artist?” “Hahaha, maybe.” He was born at Pare-pare, grew up in Palandro. Both are in south Cellebes. “In there, I like to drawing with friends, in wall by crayon, playing with toys, army toys, I love it.” He told me about his childhood. “Live in a village, quiet life, not too much car, or motorcycle, live with my grandma and grandpa, without mother and father, they are too busy in another town” “I don’t know the reason why I live in that village. Just love it.” “Now I live in Malang, seems like in my village, quiet place, cold, and fresh” “The reason why I moved to Java, because in

“What do you want to share in your works? I mean, mostly...” “I just want make people smile and happy, no more.” “I always remember a human, people, who see my artwork. Just want them to feel happy, love, peace, quiet, & fun. And when I make it for the first time, I must be impassioned, like really on fire, in the mood. I always smile, concentrate, and enjoy to make my artwork, and my heart beat fast when the artwork is about to finish. I always enthusiast to know how people see my artwork, and I really hope they who see this artwork, will be smiling and having fun.” “Who inspires you?” “Roman Muradov, I wish I can collaborate with him. He has awesome artworks, He had tried many experiments, and his style is more like my style.”

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Left: Chit Chat Right: Lovely Place

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“You know him?” “Hmmm…nope” “Hahaha, you should find him” “And then, I like George Remi (Herge), Meghunt, Vincent Van Gogh. I love their style, and I love the story behind Herge. It’s a long story”. “Tell me about your dream?  “I want to be an illustrator artist and hope everyone will love my style” “Haha” “I want to hold my solo exhibition, so that many children, family, the young people could come.”

“I think, I would cry when a lot of kids come to my solo exhibition and see how happy they are, and tell their family..” “Mama, Daddy, look at this!” “I love it, yeah Son, it’s so nice.” “Hahahaha” “I supposed you had a great childhood?” “I did.” “When my father gave me a canvas” “I did collaboration in abstract painting with my brother” “I think you would love it too”

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Left: My Submarine Right: Membuat Hujan

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: Japan, Street and Mini Skirt a conversation with Rifat Natamimi

It was Friday, time when 9-5 workers like me would use their time nicely before the awaited weekend. Today I met a friend, a professional photographer. At 5 PM I was already in a mall, in a food court. After ordering Japanese meal, that man came. Rifat Attamimi. Born in Bandar Lampung, 29 years ago. He is a collector of Japanese photography books such as Daido Moriyama’s books, Ume Kayo, Kotori Kawashima, and the others. We have a same thing in common when talking about Japanese culture. We are fans of 90’s punk band The Blue Heart. That day I spared my time to meet him, he was in Jakarta. We talked about his photography book that was just published independently by himself. “When was the first time you know photography? What makes photography very important to you?” I asked him while munching a fried shrimp that felt warm in my tongue. “My photography hobby was inspired by Renai Shashin (2003) movie which was starring Ryoko Hirosue & Rhuyei Matsuda” he answered while munching his meal too. “Then in 2006 I bought my first DSLR camera and started to take photographs. Flowers, cats, trash bin, anything that was easy around me, I can say that it was a time to search for identity” “Hahaha” “You are deeply intense with street photography, since when have you been in street photography? What interests you?” “Around 2010 was the first time I found out photography genre that’s called Street

Photography” “Then, I start to go out from my comfort zone, meet a lot people on the street take stranger portrait or candid, make friend with stranger in split second and then in the next encounter I can also make people angry or unhappy” “My biggest interest in photography is not the photography itself, actually is the people, my curiosity for people, the thrill of random encounters that I might meet on street that’s what interest me.” “What is street photography in your opinion” “The most difficult and sensitive question” “For me street photography is a medium” “I don’t want to be remembered as someone who working with boring job 8 hours day from monday till saturday, street photography is my way to leave a trace, street photography atau documentary is salvation, thanks to street photography for take me to a place that I can’t imagine before” “What kind of approach do you usually use when taking photographs on the street, especially with strangers?” “Nothing special, just snap and then smile, nod, or tell them that they cute,unique and etc” “But there are times when you have to ask for permission and when that time comes you just have to go straight to the point” “Hey Can I take your picture?”  “You don’t have to explain what project it’s for, because sometimes people get scared if they know what you’re working on” “Hahaha” Poetry - 31

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“Ah, what kind of kid were you?” “My childhood was pretty timid, I was bullied and messy, my last education is junior high school but fortunately I speak English pretty well, and eventually I learn from internet.” “Since I was little I never wanted to stay in Lampung, but yeah I was born there and worked there.” “Lampung is a beautiful city with many officials posters in every corner” “Hahahaha” “Okay, now tell me about those books you’ve published. What made you think of making a book of your photographs?” “I collect photobooks and also learn from them” “From my collection, I am inspired and I realize that it is very beautiful if the photoseries is published as a book and of course it will be a real step for a photographer” “I’ve actually made three books but there are only two that go for mass” “First, Shibuya Cross People” “Happen at mid May until early June 2012” “This book is about a Photography project of people passing at the busiest section of Shibuya” “Since I got into “Street Photography Bugs” in late 2010 Shibuya always been a place that I’ve been dreaming of high school girl fussing around with her friend, busy office lady, yawn office worker, stylish people, housewife at their daily shopping routine, a monk, cute couple, running in the rain university student, happy school boy and girl who danced when I took their picture angry people who talk to me and demanded his picture to be deleted, and many other varieties of people.” “For almost one month in sunny or rainy day I set my rule to spend 6 hours everyday to shoot in Shibuya Cross, 3 hours in the morning and another 3 hours in afternoon and this is the result I can compile into book.”

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“Two, So Many People” “Happened at early october 2012” “I went to Japan again for the 2nd time for some wedding job in Yokohama after the job done I went back to Tokyo and got 10 Day`s waiting for my flight back to Jakarta.” “I didn`t have anything to do rather than back to my old habit to capture all this wonderful people in this wonderful city with my Minolta SRT101 and 35mm Rokkor Lenses Loaded Fuji Superia Venus 800. This is my 1st Project using film camera and I feel glad I capture it in film over all of the unconvenience they are rewarding”

focal length I use is 35mm” “Canon 5, Olympus MjuII, FujiX100 and all of the camera I’ve mentioned they all got the same focal length 35mm.”

“Since the style is to use 35mm lens get close and gathered as many people as I could in one frame I Call this Project So Many People it’s one of the song from my favourite japanese rock band Elephant Kashimashi” “No Skirt, No Life”

“And who is a photographer that influence you the most?”

“This is actually pointless they are all mini skirts” “Hahaha” “Now what kind of camera do you use? Just want to know… could you share your story with your camera? How you got it, etc” “My most memorable camera is Pentax 6x7 I bought it with my first fee from a wedding in japan I went straight to Nakano to buy Pentax 6x7”

“35mm is currently my favorite FL” “What is your fave photographer? Could you tell us about it? “Kotori Kawashima” “Photobook Mirai-chan by Kotori Kawashima I believe is the best photobook I’ve owned up until now”

“Martin Parr, Ume Kayo and on flickr you should check Shin Noguchi” “All of them they make fun comical colourful street photos” “Different from traditional street photographer that usually has a very serious theme and black and white photos” “ah, one last question, what do you think about instagram? “Instant fun way for sharing photo,great way to show off what the latest thing you bought” “haha, i love instagram”

“But unfortunately I already sold the camera” “Hahaha”

“Whoa, too bad” “I usually change my camera but basically

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: Haiku by: Radhinal Indra

Haiku’s can be fun But sometimes can be confusing Refrigerator

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: Two Cup of Coffee and A Dreams a conversation with Xin Li

From where I sit, in a corner of a small café, I can see the sun between a blanket of clouds that goes red. A young girl with blond short hair, oval-shaped face with freckles, sitting and seriously read a book. The smell of coffee and apple pie touch my nose. I order a cup of black coffee. The clock shows that it’s almost three. Then I hear a sound of bell from café’s entry.

things in life.”

She comes.

“Tell me about your photography. Why are you interested in photography?”

That girl is wearing a simple white dress, there’s a small chained necklace that has a small green stone around her neck. She looks natural, simply gorgeous. Xin Li. An eighteen year old girl living in the west coast of Norway. Xin is a student of Film & TV-production di University of Bergen. “I was born and raised on a place called Stord, It’s an island surrounded by green, lush forests and cold lakes. I was born and raised there, it’s a very calm and homely place.” She starts to share her story after ordering the same black coffee as mine, her dark eyes seem like keeping a secret. “I love reading” “What is your favorite book?” “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. It sounds so cliché, but that book really changed the way I look at

“Truly amazing.” “Do you like poetry?” “Poetry is a wonderful artform. I don’t really have a “favorite poet”, but I’m a huge fan of Anis Mojgani.” “Ah, For Those Who Can Still Ride In Airplanes” “I’ve seen her reading it on youtube”

“I started taking photos when I was very young, starting out with this simple pointand-shoot camera. I would bring it around with me everywhere and take photos of my surroundings. I got my first DSLR in 2009, and I fell in love with it instantly.” “I saw your photos on flickr, there are so many self portraits. Is there something that you want to share?” “I started doing self-portraits because I felt like I had something to tell, and I wanted to do it in a creative way. A lot of my inspirations came from my own thoughts, other people’s stories and artwork and my surroundings. Self-portraiture is not about vanity or narcissism or anything like that, it’s about being as personal as possible. Another reason for why I’m taking self-portraits is for the sake of documenting my own life. Each piece reminds me of how I was at that point and I think I will appreciate it even more when I get

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“I am a self-taught photographer. I did study media and communication in high school, but most of the things they taught us about photography I already knew. I learned by watching other people do it and by trying and failing. The internet also helped me a lot!�

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older.” “I really love your photos, so dreamy. Tell me about your dream.” “I never know what to answer when I get asked this question. It’s such a difficult thing to describe. I just know one thing: I want to create. I love it more than anything in the world. “ “Nice” I take a sip of my coffee, it’s starting to go cold. We’re hearing a part of the song ‘I’ll try anything once’. “Ah, The Strokes”

“It’s the early demo-version of “You only live once”. “That song is both inspiring and nostalgic.” “hmmm” “Where is your favorite place?” “I don’t have a favorite place. To travel and to see new places is one of the greatest things I know of, and I don’t believe I could favor just one place. But one of my favorites must be London. It’s such a busy and charming place. I think the city I’m living in right now is gorgeous, but so is my hometown. Just in a different way.”

“You like them?”

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: Solitude and Privacy in Juxtaposition with Loneliness a conversation with Duong Nguyen

Duong Nguyen is Zoey’s real name. She was born and spent the most part of her life growing up in Hanoi, Vietnam before being displaced to Singapore, for, well, college. She started working and making art-related stuff there throughout art college and upon graduation.

“I love written text and do write sometimes. I love the relationship between thought written text - thought; the same way visual image works. Someone else’s thoughts were turned into something as abstract as language, text, and then perceived and transformed into another’s thoughts again.”

“My childhood was peaceful I suppose. I don’t remember much of it. But when I do it’s in a cold, cool, chromatic gray palette. Chaos would be the word to describe where I was growing up in the present time. I think it was much quieter 10-15 years ago, with horizon seemingly spreads out to vanishing point. I always remember this place close to my house, these one storey tiny boxes some people used to call home were being knocked down for reconstruction.”

What is art?

“The area was filled with rain water after the construction ceased for a while, to the point in order to get from one end to another you need to skip on blocks of concrete walls not yet submerged in the water, carefully planning your route so as not to plant your foot into the deep water. It felt like island hopping almost. There were tadpoles and fish, and danger zone with water too deep and grass too tall above our heads we couldn’t go through. They covered the “lake” eventually and made it into a football field for a little while, I found a cat and her kittens in a hole there one afternoon. The football field turned into my secondary school.” “Things change in Hanoi. I like it isolated and quiet”

“There’s this part in Tony Kushner’s commencement speech at School of Visual Arts, New York where he said “The secret business of art is the awareness of meaning” and “Meaning is for people who can resist the urge to slither away”. I’m not going to quote the whole thing but basically what he meant was that making art is equal to the search for meaning and personally I think we’re bound to always thrive for this search, whatever the end result, it’s the thriving that matters. And it’s of equal importance as breathing and constitutes to the essence of being alive. “   “Since when do you learn art, espessialy drawing? And Why drawing?” “I›ve been drawing since I was really young, kinder garten?” “I drew comic or manga, then shifted my focus to design. Photoshop was a fun discovery. I went to college and was once again charmed by the aesthetic of traditional medium, particularly graphite; how such a small, primitive tool has so much potential in it.”

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“I guess I love the control that graphite gives, the simplicity of the medium and at the same time the possibility for complexity.” Tell us about art in spore.. There are opportunities, different groups of artists following by different groups of audiences. “It›s a small country though so the crowd is pretty much familiar to most people in the scene.”   “What do you want to share in your works? i mean, mostly...” “Making works for me has always been a little selfish. I used to be extremely uncomfortable with the public eyes. It›s a little better now, I think I changed the way I deal with people›s interpretation of the pieces. It becomes really interesting how metaphors could mean so differently to different people. I guess at the end of the day I just want to know what people think and whether someone could relate to my thoughts and feelings.” “My recent works talk about social isolation, the internet, solitude and privacy in juxtaposition with loneliness; connectedness and disconnectedness - that sort of thing.” Untitled

  “Who inspired you? Tell us who is he/she?” “People, ordinary people, artists who are supposedly ordinary people too (hah!). Inspirations seem to come from everyone at random. My close friends though are the ones who inspire me the most. I›m lucky to have amazing artist-friends right now.”    “Now, what do you think of your own artwork?” “There›s always something more, something better to do about it.” “I have more goals than dreams. I try to set realistic goals at all time. I›ve come to a point in life where it feels like there›re so many things that can be actualized they cease to be just dreams, they become goals that I set out for myself.”

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Your World, Our Conversation Graphite and Acrylic Ink on Paper 120x200cm 2012

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: Dancing

In The Dark captured by Rukii Naraya, Talent: KISS (Kultura Indonesia Star Society)

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: Out of her room, exploring the world poet by: Priscilla Karina, photo by: Joandita Centika

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That door may be covered by spikes Your first touch may be full of hives But keep on going because the sun is shining It shines the world and leaves it gleaming Those you love may say no to struggle Say you’re frail and will only grumble It may result in pain and cry Yet you know it’s worth the try So go ahead and leave your room To live like bees that make flowers bloom

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: Nostalgic a conversation with Sophia Emilia Lupi

“Let’s meet up at the city park” A girl talked in my handphone. And now here I’am. At the city park in the middle of Boston city.

Sophia Lupi grew up in New Hampshire, England. And now she lives in Boston, United State.

It’s a beautiful place, She love going there in the summer time and feeding the birds. There’s a pond thats lined with giant weeping willow trees, flower gardens, benches all around, but its nicer to sit under a shaded tree.

“I’ve always been super nostalgic.”

i sit on the chair at the corner of that park, while reading a book, “Seribu Kunang-kunang di Manhattan” by Umar Kayam, until that girl came and suprised me. The weather felt a little bit warm, then we move to go to café, talk and enjoy the sunset. “What are you read?” she asked me “This?” “One of my favorit books” “Ah, you love literature” “Yeah, I’ve studied literature” “I remember always being interested in english class whenever we covered poetry. Most of it I honestly can’t understand, but there is some really beautiful poetry out there.” “Writing poetry was always meditative for me, nothing ever serious, but just sort of a liquidation of my thoughts.” “I actually just went into an old book store the other day that was going out of business, and scored a ton of great finds!  One piece I snatched up was a small book of poems written by a woman named Florence Jacobs.  The book is titled ‘Gentile Harvest Poetic Moods and Memories Of a Woman’s Life’.  The words are so tender and delicate, I almost picture the writer to be my mum when she was growing up.“

“Thats why I think photography is so constant in my life.” “When I was a teenager, I remember watching home videos of my family when I was around 5 or 6 and just sobbing, wishing that I could go back.  Even still today, I miss being at an age where your biggest worries are having dirt stuck between your toes or which color chalk you should use.  I’ve always fantasized about time travel or shrinking in size or being able to walk on the ceilings.” “My imagination has stayed with me throughout my adolescent years and continued to be present in my young adult life, mostly in the sense of just viewing the world differently, or how I›d like to see it at least. My childhood was so great and I would never change anything about it.  Growing up in New Hampshire was so awesome and I never appreciated it until I got older.  We would travel down to Boston most weekends and visit my grandparents, and then get to go up north to the mountains every summer to have some serious fun.  Now I’m living in Boston and we still make our way up north during the summer, so not too much has changed!” After we had a walk about half hour, we arrived at the little café on the crossroads. We choose to sit on the corner of the café, by the window. I heard Leslie Feist voice, “Sweetheart bitterheart now I can’t tell you apart” “Cozy and cold, put the horse before the cart”

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I ordered a cup of hot lemon tea, Sophia ordered a glass of Iced Chai Latte. I burned the cigarette, smoke and the smell of the tobacco dancing on the air, then it disappeared. Sophia wearing a white dress, I smell her, it bother my sense of smell “Miss Dior Cherie” She told me about her parfume “My all time favorite perfume. I’ve been wearing it since high school, and now at this point, I can leave a scarf at a friends house and they will know that its mine by the scent!” she smiled “So, tell me about your photograph, when you started doing photography? “Why you interesting in photography?” “I’ve honestly been taking photos as long as I can remember, whether it was stealing my dads old polaroid camera, toying with disposables, or even when I got my first point + shoot camera in middle school.  My girlfriends and I would have sleepovers, play dress up, and have little photo shoots all night.  Seriously.  That’s probably how it all started.” “When I took my first actual photography class in high school, I hated it.  It was a darkroom photo class and I was so intimidated by it. I hated having to work in the dark, it was just so frustrating for me.  When I got to college, I was just declared an art major, with no idea of what I wanted to do.  My friend made me take darkroom with her my sophomore year, I had to take it eventually as a requirement so I figured I might as well get it over with. “ “My teacher that year was brand new and my whole class thought he was mad.  We would 76 - Poetry

have 10 photographs due every week, which seemed like a lot to an intro photo class. It pushed me so much that I ended up falling in love with it somehow or another.  I got really good at developing and rarely even had to make test strips.  I left that class with around 500, 8x10 photographs, most of which were made on my own time.“ “I saw your photos on your web, there’s “floral skeletons” project, tell us about that photos? How did you get the idea?” “My floral skeletons started over winter break of my senior year.  I was sort of in a slump at the time.  I knew I loved taking portraits of people, but was becoming bored with everything that I had been making. I’ve always been drawn to nature and for some reason, always end up going to it whenever I feel stuck.  I started off trying to create skeletal figures directly from the flower petals.  Using them to craft and shape body parts, paying close attention to detail.  As i worked more into the pieces,  I saw them more so as spiritual beings or souls,  rather than physical limbs.”    “Who is your favorit artist or photographer? Who inspired you?” “I love the work of Alex Prager, Imogen Cunningham, Lissy Elle, Adam Fuss.  I›m not just inspired by photographers though.” “I love Wes Anderson and Afred Hitchcock films, I love Lana Del Rey, just recently, Haim, 1960›s French music, in specific Brigitte Bardot. Music really inspires me, especially when I›m creating.  It can change my entire mood depending on the song. ” “I›m so inspired by what I see around

me, locations, sounds, music, dreams, windows, patterns and almost anything old.”   “Tell me about your dream?” “I have seriously vivid dreams in the morning, none of which I can think of right now, of course, but I›m sure thats not the type of dream you were implying.”   “I›m honestly not even sure what my dream is exactly!  I just want to be able to make art and travel and enjoy life. I studied in London for about 4 months and traveled around Europe a bit.  I want to live in Paris one day, I look up apartments for rent over there sometimes, just to dream a little bit. I definitely left my heart in Europe.” “Then, i would love to work for magazines or take portraits for fashion photography, creating look books or directing photo shoots.  I know I have a creative mind and I just want to put it to use!”   “I also dream of being a ballerina, they›re so beautiful!” Sophia is very-very excited about the story that she told. A waiter came and bring our order. I saw the twilight behind the window that warmed. Then we lost in the our conversation.

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: Conversations and Modes of Thinking a conversation with Kekeli Sumah by Ella Wijt

He is Kekeli Sumah and according to her passport she is from Accra, Ghana. He moved to Vienna, Austria when he was eight and received an International Baccalaureate diploma from the Vienna International School in 2009. “I chose to continue studying art at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (SAIC) and I will receive a dual-degree diploma in Fine Art and in Visual Critical Studies (BFA/BAVCS).” “My hobbies revolve around dance music. I currently DJ and host an online radio show called HEAD KICK on Free Radio SAIC, where I try to spin meaningful beat-based dance music ranging from Afrobeat to Detroit Techno. Its interesting and sometimes it works out without sounding too bad!” “Why Chicago?” “Many things affected my final decision to study in Chicago.” “My artistic interests are broad and for some time now, I have been trying to find a way for them to come together and coexist. SAIC offered me the opportunity to bring my divergent interests together in an interdisciplinary way.” “And since, SAIC is also ranked as “the most influential art college in the United States,” it just made even more sense to come here.” “When did you start doing art?” “Like most children, I started drawing at an early age. I realized I took it more seriously than some of my peers when eight years old.

At that time I wanted to become an inventor. When I deceived to pursue fine art as part of my IB program that dream of becoming an inventor eventually became the desire to become a designer of some kind. When I came to SAIC I knew I wanted to become an artist.” “What is your current project about?” “I am working a number projects at the moment. On the one hand I have been working with balloons and paper airplanes as metaphors of bodies, breath and aspirations. On the other hand, I have been working with chocolate as a painting material, exploring not only its visceral materiality but also the embedded history of taste-making, tradition, luxury and colonialism. My use of these materials intersect in various works so sometimes a piece will incorporate both balloons and chocolate. So there is never a dull moment in the studio!” “Who is/are your favorite artist(s) How do they affect your art practice?” “As a visual artist, we value our eyes very much in the perennial search for inspiration. Currently, the artist I think about the most is Antoni Tàpies (1923-2012)—a Catalan artist from Spain who died recently. His use of physical, non-traditional materials in painting greatly influenced me. Lucio Pozzi is another visual I count as very important. He was the visiting artist at SAIC during one of my summer classes and I felt like he give me the key and the map to the room I have been Poetry - 81

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trying to find. My current painting teacher, Candida Alvarez has been very encouraging and I consider her a mentor to me.” “I also pay a lot of attention to non-visual artist, particularly musicians, DJs & music producers like Theo Parrish and Darren Cunningham (aka Actress). Their approach to craft, creation and dedication is inspiring. You can hear commitment and integrity in their music—I see them as role models.” “How about your exhibitions and achievements?”

Wretch of The Earth Title: Untitled (Wretch of the Earth) Medium: Chocolate, White chocolate, Balloons and Gold tape on paper Dimensions: 38inches x 50inches

“Well, I just had a recent show where I collaborated with another student from Vienna to make small paper sculptures. It was a funny situation because we both went to the same school and had the same art teacher! Although, we studied in different years, we reconnected in Chicago and started collaborating. The show we participated in was held at Supernova Space and was called Within and Without.”

on my F-1 visa type that allows me to work in the United States for up to a year. I want to take advantage of that and spend time here in Chicago. After that, we’ll see what opportunities present themselves!” “So what is art for you?” “Wow!—the big question!” “I see art as an experience of perspectiveshifting, where you are asked to encounter an experience through a set of conversations and modes of thinking.” “How is the art world nowadays?” “The art world is an interesting place. I think its like high-school but this time around, its not only your reputation but also your career thats on the table. Everyone gets to know each other and the rumor mill runs rampant. Depending on your clique, you either love it or hate it.”

“What’s your plan after school? Are you gonna stay in Chicago or go back to your country?” “As an international student I have a benefit

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White Frame Black Supports: Love Me Forever As I Am Medium: Linen, Gesso ground, Oil, Chocolate, Insulation foam, Gold tape Dimension: 5ft x 5ft

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White Frame Black Supports: Euro-vision 1957 Medium: Linen, Gesso ground, Balloons, Chocolate, Insulation foam, Gold tape Dimension: 5ft x 5ft

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: Shade of The Sandhills a conversation with Ross Leighton by Ella Wijt

This interview between Charles Kinbote II and Ross Felton took place over GCHAT on November 1st of 2013 for the anthology, “Shade of the Sandhills”, which ceased all production that same month under mysterious circumstances. Mr. Kinbote is a freelance writer currently based in the American Midwest, originally from Moscow. These words between people, have sat not so long on paper in a drawer, lucky to see the light of day, they now reach you in some form at some time. Ross Leighton Felton is a writer, musician and visual artist. “I am currently one half of the musical duo, Megaherbs. The other half being Pat Swanson. We are recording our first album as a duo and were recently featured on, a non-profit dedicated to the proliferation of the musical arts of the state of Nebraska.” “I am first and foremost a poet, and, as Megaherbs was originally a solo endeavor, my poetry often collides with that project.” “My visual art at this time also tends to revolve heavily around Megaherbs, and is primarily realized by way of digital video experiments currently.” “I have heard whisperings of this before, and must now know, what is the explanation you can offer for your obsession with skeletons?” “I don’t think that’s entirely fair to say – it’s not so much an obsession w/ skeletons but maybe a few dozen words or so really.” “I am terribly fond of repetition in just about any kind of art including vomiting – which is always best in triplicate I would wager – and I don’t have a reason other than it seems to evoke something very real for me.”

“I see the same things so many times I don’t even notice them anymore. I’m looking right at them and on the surface there is nothing firing in my mind. Suddenly all these things are subliminal and maybe in my sleep then I am deconstructing abstract notions of the front porch or the very short path from my house to the state capitol building.“ “I guess that’s my hope for those who read all these repeated words in books of poetry yet to even exist, some of them, and years later, perhaps the reader will have outside thoughts seeing all this light and laughter and skin and bone and pale white walls washed out and empty, an eternity of this nonsense becoming simple subconscious cues that cause these humans to pause and look at their present situation differently once and a while, and maybe they will wonder why they are.“ “I do this in poems, in plays, in videos and music – repeating sounds, themes, thoughts, images – I just can’t remember any examples right now to give you.” “All that being said, I do like skeletons, who doesn’t like skeletons? I want to meet these anti-skeleton people.” “You seem to be a little all over the place, it’s hard to follow you. Are you often struggling to stay on topic?” “That’s true, I’m often just as lost. I tend to get wrapped up in little details and can’t ever finish a story as it inevitably results in the creation of at least three additional stories along the way.”

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“Hospital Dub” Video, 02:06

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boo the screen because I only wanted asinine comical scenarios washing over my eyes like a trashy watercolor of innuendo and titties, male bonding and prank scenes.” “It’s not that I don’t enjoy classic works of literature and film, or any kind of artistry done in a more classic form, or by way of a taught method – I just think that ship has long since sailed away and we can’t have people trying to be a Hemingway or a Woolf or Steinbeck or Plath at this stage in the world of creativity. What does that do for us? There is simply nothing more to be squeezed out of following the rules.” “Now you have brought a poem for us too, is that right? Is there anything you can tell us about it beforehand?” “Where do you come from?” “Nebraska. My mother’s family has farmed for hundreds of years. My father came from Minnesota, and a very long time ago his family arrived in Salem, Massachusetts. Noblemen, landowners and lawyers predominantly, they practiced copious amounts of witchcraft.“ “What would you call what you are currently doing with video work?” “Automatic video sequencing. Or piracy.” “Is there a name for what you do with writing?” “I don’t know. I am trying to draw the entire world into a funnel and do and say everything. I am also trying to express an ageless void in as many ways as possible. In a traditional sense, however, I don’t have much to directly say to people. That’s not exactly why I write or why I read what I read. Intent and messaging aren’t very important to me these days, and maybe they never were. I was always the kid who loved the infuriatingly ambiguous ends to art house movies because things just happen and things just end and all I want is to see them exist for a moment. Here is a thing that was. I was often the kid bored by a formulaic Hollywood comedy when they would introduce the conflict. I would want to

“I didn’t really bring it, because I’m sitting in my home, but I will copy and paste one for you to include. This is a poem called “Remedy” and I don’t have much to say in the way of prefacing the piece other than that you read the title of this poem as part of the poem, and it was a piece written with the intention of it being read several times in a row. Also it was written in 2011.” Remedy Flood of memory Immobilized Walking Poetically Through garden light Hypnotic Play everything like Musical Glass. Even this Paper is crystalline Sparkling Grass Emerald of the clasp Of a cape worn Like a remedy To memory’s Grasp.

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: The Solitary a conversation with Nina Ahn

“I don’t like interview, but let’s just drink first. maybe it will get more interesting” Nina Ahn, was grew up on Geoge Island in the Southern part of South Korea and moved to Seoul later in life. She is a freelance photographer. “I like to spend time watching drama’s with my sister and also I like being solitary. My room is organised chaos and I love it.” “I had a happy childhood, the place where I lived was a nice environment for growing up. I have always enjoyed reading, so I used to visit the library often.” “I love poetry so much, my favourite poet is the great korean ‘gi-hyungdo’ i’ve grown up reading his poetry for whole my youth. he is the master as writing about depression and solitude, painful love” “What do you want to share in your photograph?” “I really enjoy taking snap shots of random things that appeal to me. Often I don’t have any plan when I take photos, but when I’m outside I take many pictures.”

“I have a Canon 6D, but I will always use film for my primary shooting as long as it exists. I think there will always be a niche market for film so I’m not worried about it disappearing.” “Who is your favorit artist?” “I recently couldn’t call to mind proper answer whenever i got this kind of question. so i think i don’t have favorite for now. i actually love whoever inspires me. i like experimental and avant-garde musician such as Sigur ros & bjork “Tell me about your dream?” “Being a great writer and being a good wife and mum of my future child.” “Ah, and of course i want to be an unforgettable photographer” she smiled “when i’m sleeping i’m happy. i enjoy being in the dream then  it’s always interesting to think about my unconscious desire just after i wake up”

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: Human / Plant works by Nadine Maulida

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: Escape by Clarissa Pranata

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: Malam Terakhir di Rumah Duka short story by Halimah, illustration by Bagus Priyo Beruang.

Ini adalah malam terakhirku di rumah kita. Besok aku harus pergi, karena itu aku merasa perlu untuk memberimu sesuatu. Tapi aku tak punya apa-apa, aku tak pula bisa membeli apa-apa untukmu. Maka aku tinggalkan surat ini; sebuah nasihat dan kenangan. Kenangan adalah hal yang paling mahal, bukan? Bahkan orang terkaya sekalipun tak bisa membelinya dan orang terpintarpun tak bisa menghapusnya. Begitu pula aku dan kau. Kita tak bisa dihapus, tak bisa pula dibeli. Kau dan aku adalah langit dan samudra yang sama-sama biru, memeluk nasib kita yang juga biru. Mungkin di dunia ini kita adalah satu-satunya saudari kembar yang tidak pernah memakai baju yang juga kembar. Bapak tidak pernah membelikan kita baju yang sama. Dia pasti ingin melihat anak kembarnya memakai baju kembar seperti anak-anak kembar lain. Tapi bapak kita miskin. Baju kita selalu baju bekas kakak. Tapi pernah suatu kali, tiga tahun lalu, kita memakai baju kembar. Kita mendapat kaos dari tetangga, berwarna putih dan sedikit biru di bagian lengannya. Di bagian depan terdapat gambar wajah seorang bapak dan dibelakangnya ada bacaan, “ PRESIDENKU. LANJUTKAN!� tapi itulah kali pertama dan kali terakhir kita memakai baju yang sama. Sebab setelahnya baju itu ku berikan pada ibu. Aku tak pernah merasa punya presiden. Aku tak pernah merasakan hasil kerja presiden. Bapak berwajah tambun di kaos itu bukan presidenmu. Dia bukan presiden siapa-siapa. Dia hanya presiden sebuah keluarga.

Walaupun tak pernah berbaju sama, kita sama-sama tahu bahwa kita sama-sama biru. Sebab aku adalah Langit dan kau Samudera. Kulihat, belakangan ini kau sering bersolek. Uang hasil menjadi buruh cuci kau sisakan sedikit untuk membeli bedak murah di pasar malam. Di malam hari kau sering menyisiri rambutmu sambil memandangi bulan dari balik jendela kita yang rapuh. Apa yang kau harapkan, kembaranku? Seorang pangeran menjemput dan membawamu dari rumah usang kita? Mengobati bapak kita yang lumpuh, membelikan ibu baju baru, dan menyekolahkan adik-adik kita hingga sarjana? Hidup kita adalah mimpi buruk, saudariku. Ayah kita lumpuh, rumah kita kumuh, ibu kita petani buruh, kakak sulung kita sakit jiwa, kakak kedua kita tidak bekerja dan adikadik kita berkudis! Tidak akan ada pangeran yang mau menjemput kita. Tangan kita kasar, kulit kita legam, kuku kita hitam, rambut kita merah dan pecah-pecah karena matahari dan kurang gizi. Kita tidak berhak menunggu dijemput oleh pangeran manapun. Jangan samakan hidup kita dengan dongeng puntri cantik manapun, dengan gadis manapun. Tidak akan ada laki-laki yang menjemput kita, saudariku. Kalaupun ada, pastilah dia

seorang bajingan. Dua tahun lalu, kakak sulung kita dijemput seorang duda. Satu tahun lalu, dia pulang dengan luka-luka di sekujur tubuh dan sakit jiwa. Entah apa yang dilakukan si bajingan itu pada kakak kita. Sekarang, kakak selalu berteriak-teriak kencang jika melihat rokok atau tali pinggang. Kau tidak akan membiarkan dirimu bernasib sama, kan? Kau pernah jatuh cinta pada aktivis rumah singgah anak jalanan di dekat rumah kita. Dan patah hati saat dia membawa pacarnya (yang juga aktivis) turut serta ke rumah singgah itu. Kau pernah pula jatuh cinta pada anak pak Haji. Dan patah hati pula saat anak Pak Haji itu dinikahkan dengan anak Pak Haji lainnya. Aktifis untuk aktifis, anak haji untuk anak haji. Kita bukan siapa-siapa, saudariku. Maka kita bukan untuk siapa-siapa. Sepeninggalku, jangan biarkan dirimu dilukai pria. Aku tak tahu rasanya patah hati, tapi hatiku sangat sakit jika melihatmu menangis. Maka, jangan perburuk keadaan kita dengan dongeng pangeran berkuda putih yang menjemputmu, --Aku tulis surat ini sesaat setelah kudapati kau tertidur di samping ibu. Masih ada sisa-sisa air mata di wajah kalian berdua. Aku paham betul kebiasaan kalian di sepertiga malam. Kalian selalu shalat malam sambil menangis

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Aku tidak bisa memahami cinta, saudariku. Aku tidak seberuntung kau yang pernah beberapa kali jatuh cinta. Tidak pula sesial kau yang pernah beberapa kali patah hati.

dan mengadu kepada Tuhan. Aku pernah dengar, ada ulama yang berkata, “musibah itu terjadi karena sangat sedikit orang yang menangis di jam shalat malam.� Aku mulai menghitung jumlah orang yang shalat malam dirumah kita. Hanya aku, kakak kita yang gila dan adik kita yang belum baligh yang tidak shalat. Tapi mengapa musibah tak henti-henti datang ke rumah kita? Mengapa rumah kita selalu jadi rumah duka; rumah yang jadi muara segala duka? Aku tak sepertimu, kau rajin shalat, rajin berwudhu, rajin bangun pagi. Mungkin itu sebabnya kau lebih cantik dari aku meskipun kita saudara kembar. Sementara aku tidak percaya Tuhan. Baik Tuhan yang kau sembah atau Tuhan yang lain. Aku juga tidak membenci Tuhan. Samasekali tidak. Aku hanya tidak mengenal Dia. Bagaimana aku bisa mencintai ataupun membenci hal yang tidak ku kenal? Aku sering bertanya-tanya, apakah Tuhan mau datang ke rumah kita yang reot? Pernahkah dia melihat caramu menangis di shalat malam-mu? Pernahkah dia melihat betapa airmataku pelan-pelan jatuh setiap kali melihat kedua kaki bapak yang tak kunjung bisa bergerak? Sudikah Tuhan datang ke rumah duka kita? Aku tak menyalahkan Tuhan atas nasib burukku. Tapi kau hambanya yang sangat taat! Mengapa dia tidak menolongmu? Bertahun-tahun kita hidup dari sebungkus mie instan buat makan siang kita. Sebungkus mie instant yang kita masak dengan dua

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gayung air agar terlihat banyak dan cukup untuk lauk makan delapan orang. Terkadang, kau tidak makan agar adik-adik kita yang kelaparan setelah pulang sekolah bisa makan lebih banyak. Kasian mereka, tak pernah dapat uang jajan, katamu. Saat itu yang ku kasihani adalah dirimu. Kau, yang tak dapat jatah makan setelah seharian bekerja sebagai buruh cuci. Aku tak kasihan pada diriku sebab aku malas shalat! Tapi aku kasihan pada dirimu. Kau kan rajin shalat! --Aku selalu bisa merasakan jika ada duka yang menuju rumah kita. Seperti prediksiku yang benar saat adik bayi kita akan meninggal dan kakak kita yang akan dipulangkan dalam keadaan gila. Demikian pula dengan kepergianku. Aku merasa ini sudah waktunya. Sebenarnya aku akan sangat merindukan rumah usang kita dan keluarga kita. Terlebih lebih lagi kau. Tapi aku harus pergi. Jagalah rumah ini, ayah kita, ibu kita, adik kita, dan telebih-lebih: jaga dirimu. Sampai kapanpun kita adalah Samudera dan Langit, kita akan tetap saling memeluk. Kembaranmu, Langit Hari ini duka kembali singgah di rumah kita. Duka yang sepertinya paling berat diantara duka-duka yang pernah kita terima. Bapak terbaring lemah sambil menatap kosong

ke arah langit-langit rumah kita. Dia kira dengan begitu dia bisa menahan air matanya. Tapi ternyata tidak. Air matanya tetap turun dengan deras. Sementara ibu, kakak-kakak dan adik-adik kita menangis kencangkencang. Di rumah kita yang sempit telah terbaring mayatmu, diselimuti kain batik yang lusuh dan luntur. Tetangga-tetangga kita yang miskin membacakan surat yaasiin untukmu. Kau mati subuh tadi. Dengan bercak darah di sudut bibir. Sejak kapan kau terkena TBC, Langit? Kenapa tidak sedikitpun mengeluh? Bapak mulai kelihatan bingung menjelang maghrib. Dia tak punya uang untuk sekedar membeli tanah dan menguburmu. Kuburan di Jakarta mahal, tak seharusnya kau mati di Jakarta. Tapi kita tak punya kampung. --Sehari setelah kematianmu, negeri ini dihebohkan kabar tentang presiden kita. Dia shock berat. Katanya dia melihat hantu. Berita itu sangat besar, mengalahkan isu korupsi dan pemerkosaan tersadis sekalipun. Di surat kabar, si gendut itu bilang, “Hantunya perempuan! Berambut merah, bermata cekung, tulang-tulang rusuknya menonjol dan ada tahi lalat di pipi kanannya!� Apakah itu kau, Langit? Ataukah si pengecut itu, melihat dosanya sendiri?

Sajak Beni Satryo Aku dan Meja Makan

Puisi Yang Lahir Pada Suatu Waktu

Suatu Kali, Di Restoran

di meja makan. Sendiri

bukankah waktu tak bisa mengalir, atau membeku?

kita mampir di restoran itu.


dan ketika terlewat, kemana ia tiada?

Ini apa? Lada. Ini? Garam dan

Suatu kali, aku duduk

Kau bertanya banyak hal saat

Meja makan dan aku tak

saus. Itu apa? Pisau dan garpu.

saling bertanya. Masih

lalu, mana yang lebih tua dan bijaksana,


malam atau sudah pagi

kerinduanku atau ruang dimana kita harus bertemu?

Kau menunjuk sesuatu yang mengalir

di luar sana?

dari kedua mataku yang hambar. Aku

Meja makan dan aku tak

menunjuk struk-struk yang terselip

saling bertanya. Siapa

di bawah mangkuk acar.

yang lebih dahulu pergi,

Itu apa? Harga yang harus kita bayar.

atau siapa yang lebih dahulu tiba? Atau siapa yang tak akan kemana-mana.


Sajak Rara Kinanti Financial Love Poem it’s been a while since i have you on my portfolio the liquid source of happiness i always run to the desirable security i won’t throw and the perfect substitute of my sorrow you bail me out when i fall we merge, we consolidate strive to stand still while others fluctuate cause we know we can get through it all it’s a four-years bond we’re holding we’re taking risks, investing wishes don’t ruin it, let’s wait to maturity we never know the yield waiting and though it won’t last to eternity

“Dokter mana yang lantang menyebutkan usia pasien? Sedangkan pasien mana yang melantarkan nasib umurnya hanya dengan ujian tes semata.” Teriak hati kecilnya. Menuju arwah yang memakan alam semesta. Mengendurkan kenangan-kenangan eksotika. Tali pengikat apapun akan menjadi sensual karena batas usia telah ditentukan oleh-Nya. Aku yang didirikan Dia, tidak bisa tawar-menawar. Sudah hari senin kembali, itu tanda awal hari. Melunak antisipasi bersyukur pada tubuh. Samar-samar bermain di zona aman. Lalu aku menyebrang lewat pintu depan. Memberi peluang pada kesempatan hidup. Yang diberkahi untuk mempersingkat daya ingat. Lumpuh aku, musim semi membelah haluannya....

i’m sure enough it’s gonna worth the bruises

Poetry - 113

Endra Rintovani



Fear is also a street

Since without leaving the present

And among its trembling stones

That is a fragile thing

Tenderness somehow is able

We touch the sand of yesterday

To march with four feet

And in the sea

And four lips

Love reveals a repeated fury


....... (Pablo Neruda - Integration)

114 - Poetry

Lutesha Sadewa

WE WITNESSED Sapardi Djoko Damono we witnessed birds crossing the sky we witnessed small clouds in the northern sky when for an instant even the air fell still for a time, for some time now we haven’t recognized it between days of sorrow and fantasy we come to know once more the eternal peal, a conversation without words moments long ago vanished in man’s somnolent chatter

Poetry - 115

116 - Poetry

FUR is an alternative art magazine which allow young artsy people who feels like in need to share their artworks, point of views, ideas, reviews, or any other kind of art related, to others! We are so ever welcome in supporting contributors from anywhere by putting it up on our blog and/or zine. Interested? Just drop us an email stating your intention and wait for a kind reply from us! e: b: Creative Director: Debra Raymond Art Director: Tampan Destawan Subagyo Editor in Chief: Rumi Sidharta Writer: Kanya Stira Sjahrir, Talitha Yudika Anni, Indira I.A. Iman, Olivia Samantha, Alodia Amanda Margaretha

CONTRIBUTION ENDRA RINTOVANI, usual worker, lifetime fighter. DIANI APSARI, a dreamer who swims in a clear lake of colors. RADHINAL INDRA, That grass, that grass out front — I think it’ll be greener if it was watered once more. Every day. JOANDITA CENTIKA, fangirl delusional, really want to go outside. LUTESHA SADEWA, melanistic mermaid of Tortuga. BENI SATRYO, Lives in Jogja. Write poets and haiku. Founder of Goodspeed Street Poet. RARA KINANTI, Indonesian at heart, resides in Japan for the past 6 years. Eats, sleeps, travels -works in between.

BAGUS PRIYO BERUANG, always want to see an astronot standing on his. HALIMAH, lives in Jakarta, teacher and translater. CLARISSA PRANATA, a woman who often walks without destination and loves without a reason. NADINE MAULIDA, Melbourne based photographer, do not like ant. ELLA WIJT, chicago based starving artist but always happy. PRISCILLA KARINA, a girl who finally got her higher diploma. Eager to see the world but hesitate, because of the blind direction. Young people with diverse identities.

Poetry - 117

118 - Poetry

Poetry - 119

120 - Poetry


17th edition


17th edition