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MIDCOAST EDITION

FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

Just a sprout that's growing every day GARDENING, FARMING, THE DAILY PLANT, RECIPES, EVENTS CALENDAR AND MORE EVENTS

ON FARMING

Got a garden or farm event? Let us know at gardenmaine.com/submit-an-event/

"If there’s a hard way to do something, I’ll find it." John F. Chisholm

UPCOMING

"New isn’t always better. That crossed my mind as I was being sprayed with rainwater gushing from the new rain barrels set up in anticipation of the big storm." Janine Pineo

Advertising opportunities for farm and gardening businesses

ON GARDENING

THE DAILY PLANT WITH WILD WEDNESDAY "Sometimes a weed is more than a weed. Sometimes it is the mustard for your hot dog." Collaborating with the Maine Natural History Observatory to showcase wild Maine plants every Wednesday

RECIPES "You can grow the majority of the items in this dish in your own little plot of land: zucchini and yellow summer squash, onions, tomatoes, garlic, basil and oregano."

Garden Midcoast Maine’s Monthly Funnies Newspaper! Your Local Source for Comics, Puzzles, Word Games, and Humor Columns! To Advertise, email heather@nachotree.com or call 557-3261

.com FREE!


by DAVE BLAZEK OFF THE MARK

by MARK PARISI

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

BIZ

CAPTION CONTEST

Send your best caption to: chris@nachotree.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name, age and city with permission. Void where prohibited. Turn to page 12 for last week’s cartoon and its winning caption.

Your mailbox is bored

Country Styles FAMILY HAIR CARE 161 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks

207.722.3551

YOUR NAME ADDRESS TOWN

STATE

ZIP

RECIPIENT NAME ADDRESS TOWN

STATE

ZIP

Subscribe to Funnies Extra today for yourself, a friend, loved-one, or someone who just doesn't smile very much. $ 28 buys a year's worth of issues!

New Wave Salon and Day Spa

Please enclose a check for $28 and this form for 12 monthly issues delivered to your home. Offer good only in the United States. Please send check and form to:

MON-FRI, 8-5; SAT, 8-3 Linda Nash, owner

Walk-ins Welcome

167 Northport Ave, Belfast 207.338.9657

+DLÈ Salo ns

2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

NachoTree Print & Digital Design ATTN: Subscriptions 91 Lang Hill Highway Brooks, Maine 04921


BC

Best of the Best for

by MASTROIANNI AND HART

years in a row! TUNDRA

by CHAD CARPENTER

www.campocean.com | 207-548-6059

FACT OR FICTION? *Fewer divorces occur in families in which the children wake their parents before 6 a.m. on Saturdays. *The rhesus monkey is the only animal that can be taught to hum a tune. EEK!

by SCOTT NICKEL

Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com ~ heather@nachotree.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation

FUNNIES EXTRA!, LLC

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

print & digital design

6822 22nd Avenue North, #134, St. Petersburg, FL 33710 www.funnies-extra.com ~ info@funnies-extra.com

HOOSIERVILLE

by MARK BRAYER

Bill Kellogg - Marketing Director bill@funnies-extra.com ~ 907–441-6882 Richard Cross - Publisher publisher@funnies-extra.com ~ 727-343-1243

The views and opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publisher, advertisers or employees of NachoTree Print & Digital Design. NachoTree Print & Digital Design is not responsible for any advertising errors beyond the first printing of any Display Ad. Additional contributor information can be found on the website URL’s above. Contents of this publication may not be reproduced or copied without permission from Funnies Extra, LLC. © 2012 Funnies Extra!, LLC. All rights reserved.

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Kim Kellogg - Editor editor@funnies-extra.com

VOL 4 - JUNE 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3


by BRIAN MARTIN STRANGER THINGS

by TIM THOMSON

HARA KIWI

by LECTRR

© 2011 Tim Thomson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

IMAGINE THAT

© 2011 Brian Martin / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

PUZZLES

© 2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Performance Schedule Answers from last issue’s Sudoku

Mount View Chamber Singers

The Elves and The Shoemaker

May 20 ...............................7:00 pm

September 28, 29 ...............7:00 pm September 30 .....................2:00 pm

Voices Unlimited May 26 ...............................7:00 pm

Arsenic and Old Lace

Always Patsy Cline

Oct 12, 13, 19 & 20 ...........7:30 pm October 21 .........................2:00 pm

June 15, 16, 22 & 23..........7:30 pm June 17 ...............................2:00 pm

© 2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America only

July 20, 21, 27 & 28...........7:30 pm July 29 ................................2:00 pm

November 9 & 10 ..............7:30 pm November 16 & 17 ............7:30 pm

80’s Dance Party

It’s A Wonderful Life

August 3 & 4......................7:30 pm August 10, 11.....................7:30 pm ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php

WORD GAMES

All In The Timing

4 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

Quilt: A Musical Celebration

MRT Singers September 7 & 8 ................7:30 pm September 14, 15 ...............7:30 pm

(1940’s radio show) November 30 & Dec 1 .......7:30 pm December 7 & 8.................7:30 pm present this ad at the show for a free beverage

MarshRiverTheater.com


THE DOOZIES

by TOM GAMMILL

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Antique Buyers Tim & Pam Merry Swanville, Maine

207.338.3371 | 207.323.0313 FRANK AND STEINWAY

by WIL PANGANIBAN © 2011 Wil Panganiban / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

We buy anything old, from one item to entire estates. We buy gold and silver in any form!

FACT OR FICTION? *A prominent organization of anthropologists has predicted that by the year 5000, humans will have two rectums, but only one nostril. *Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas. FUNNY PAPER

by DANIEL COLLINS

wedding | portraiture | documentary

© 2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

by RON THERIEN

© 2011 Ron Therein / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

AGAINST THE GRAIN

JASON CRAIN PHOTOGRAPHY

jason@jasoncrain.com | 207.542.4973 | www.jasoncrain.com

VOL 4 - JUNE 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 5


We've got

Rol l-off s and D u mp ster s Ava i l abl e!

Junk Trunk!

WORD FIND BY MIA VONNE

OCEAN LIFE

in the

LING SERVICES WA STE DISPOSAL & RECYC

sw ast e@ ho t ma il.c om 948-2658 | sul oflivCane ntr al Ma ine ! C ov e r ing all

©2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

FUNNIES EXTRA IS PRINTED IN MAINE, KEEPING MONEY IN THE STATE by CRYSTAL JONES Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

CRANKY GIRL

by BRIDGETT SPICER

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

SQUID ROW

143 High Street, Belfast, ME 04915

6 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

JUDY BROSSMER judybrossmer@tcreal.com 207.338.3500 x121 (office) 207.322.3392 (mobile) 207.338.0192 (fax) 800.860.0528 (toll free)


Garden Ga

Celebrating the people who grow stuff and the stuff they grow.

DINGERS

FUTURE SHOCK

by JIM & PAT McGREAL

.com

by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH

© 2011 Campbell & Schotsch / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Join Funnies Extra Maine on Facebook and Twitter! FACEBOOK: /NachoTree • TWITTER: /NachoTreeDesign THAT MONKEY TUNE

by MICHAEL KANDALAFT

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Protecting you. For over 30 years, the Varney Agency has been protecting what's most important to businesses and families throughout Maine and New England.

Varney Agency SEARSPORT 117 E Main Street, Searsport, Maine 04974 | Toll Free: 800-640-6364 Branch Manager - Victor Bouchard | vbouchard@varneyagency.com THOMASTON THE HYLER AGENCY | 472 Main Street | Thomaston, ME 04861 207-354-6210 | Fax 354-6936 Branch Manager - Lu-Ann Hyler | lhyler@varneyagency.com UNITY Clifford Commons, P.O. Box 163, Unity, Maine 04988 Phone: 207-948-5171 | Toll Free: 800-599-5171 Branch Manager - Robina Lods | rlods@varneyagency.com

Auto Insurance Aviation Insurance Homeowners Insurance Boat & Recreational Umbrella Insurance Life Insurance Disability Insurance Payroll Deduction Identity Theft Health Insurance Payment Options

VOL 4 - JUNE 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 7


WIZARD OF ID

by PARKER & HART

HOLY MOLÉ

by RICK HOTTON

PIZZA PLACES

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

DOGS OF C-KENNEL

by MICK & MASON MASTROIANNI

HALF BAKED

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

8 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

for daily, monthly & weekly specials

225 Depot St, Unity 948.5960 | spankyspizza.com

by RICK ELLIS


THE OTHER COAST

S

by ADRIAN RAESIDE

RALF THE DESTROYER

by SCOTT LINCOLN

93 MAIN ST, BELFAST MON-SAT: 11-9, SUN: 12-9 338-9676

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

SUNSHINE STATE

by GRAHAM NOLAN

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Call Heather at 207.557.3251 to advertise in this section. Single blocks are $50 and double blocks are $80.

PICKLES

by BRIAN CRANE

VOL 4 - JUNE 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 9


A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father of two and owner of NachoTree Print & Digital Design in Brooks, Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over 10 years experience in the print industry and can also say his alphabet backwards. In addition to offering Funnies Extra! to Waldo and Knox Counties with his wife, Heather, he also posts way too often on Facebook, once even being blocked by his best friend. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby

My Social Inadequacies With Cats by Chris Quimby Recently I was struck with a thought – and a sobering one at that. As it seems, I have very little conversational skills in my relationship with cats. This revelation was considered as I crested a hill near my home in Brooks, upon which I spied a rather adorable adolescent feline resting upon a log, likely considering in which of nine or ten various locations it would prefer to nap that day. In a neighborly way, I courteously looked towards the animal, raised my voice about an octave higher than my normal conversational tone, and greeted, “Hey, Kitty!” I maintained pretty good eye contact, which I’d learned is important in successful interpersonal communication. It seemed like a good principle, although I’m pretty confident that speaking with a small cat would not technically be considered interpersonal. I guess one would have to instead refer to it as extraspecial communication, although I’d be willing to bet that very few people would refer to speaking with me as extra special. After a brief pause and no response, I continued by again saying, “Hey, Kitty!” And that was it. That was all I had. I began a process of deep, personal reflection to address this weakness. Shouldn’t it be easier than this to carry

on a conversation with a cat? My problems shouldn’t evolve from intimidation, as I should assume a level of implied relational dominance over the animal, due to such factors as my compartively superlative height, number of Facebook friends and method of bathing. Equally burdensome was the reminder that I am still paying off a student loan that I used to buy a lot of pizza plus an undergraduate degree in Communication Studies. At this crisis point in my life, it was of no value to me. I had just attempted to engage a cat in some small talk and was met with icy coldness and was unprepared with a contingency plan with which I might prime the conversational pump. Normally my efforts are not this bad, but they’re still pretty pathetic. Most of my more respectable attempts at such interactions only last a few more moments than this one did. If I had more time with this particular cat, for instance, I likely would’ve continued by praising its appearance. It would’ve gone something like this, “Aren’t you a cute kitty!” I know it sounds like pandering, but I usually feel a strong internal urge to proclaim to a cat how soft and fluffy they appear. It is also always common practice for me to follow up my initial praise with the next question/statement combination: “Huh? Aren’t you a cute kitty!” Yes. I repeat the same line. This is Normal Cat Conversational Protocol for me. I don’t know why I do it, but I do it. I don’t know why I do it, but I do it. And even after asking twice, I have never received an appropriate response. This is generally quite invalidating. It’s

like in junior high, when I unsuccessfully asked a few girls to the prom (one at a time, not in a group). You make yourself vulnerable, baring your soul, and then get crushed. I express to these cats my innermost feelings, and I don’t even get so much as a wink of acknowledgement. OK. Sometimes I do get a wink, but I usually assume they’re just trying to get a bug out of their eye. I’m assuming the cats are not silent simply because they’re humble. They could at least express their thanks. Now, I know I should look inward before criticizing them. I understand how hard it is to take a compliment, but it is nonetheless the socially appropriate thing to do, and I don’t believe it’s too much to ask. Maybe just one time, even if they don’t mean it, a cat could respond, “Well, thank you. You look very nice today, too.” A cat need not go on and on, singing me empty overtures about my softness and fluffiness. I know I’m not soft and fluffy, nor do I make an effort to be. Understanding that it is not productive to beat myself up over things I can’t change from the past, I concede that I must concentrate on what I can learn from this defect in my social skills and how I might plan better for the future. I could avoid cats altogether, which

10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

seems like the fearful and less noble route. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life seeing a cat from a distance, then acting as if I didn’t, ignoring the animal while I walk to the other side of the road. I could still keep the company of cats, but not engage them in conversation. This is pretty much what happens in my home now with Uno and Dos, our two adorable felines that we adopted not long after we returned from our missions trip to Ecuador in 2011. Although I have fed, watered, praised and patted them profusely, I have never received so much as an expression of thanks in return, whether in English or Spanish. The responsible plan would seem to be to simply persevere through this, accepting my faults and relying upon the grace of cats to love me unconditionally despite my failings. It is in that spirit that I wish to speak to any cats that are reading this article right now. Please know that I respect you and wish to be your friend. I do not want you to remain coldly indifferent to me. But even if you are, I will still love you because you are such a cute kitty. Huh? Aren’t you a cute kitty?


print & digital design

© 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

business card design | print design | sign design | brochure design | logo design | stationery design | menu design

excellent customer service. excellent design. very competitive rates.

brooks, maine 207.557.3251 | nachotree.com

ADS IN FUNNIES EXTRA GET NOTICED. FULL COLOR. LIMITED AVAILABILITY. by DANIEL BORIS

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

HOXWINDER HALL

FACT OR FICTION? *A bad case of laryngitis forced Abraham Lincoln to lip-sync the Gettysburg Address. The speech was actually delivered by an aide hidden beneath the stage. *A futuristic autmomobile designed by Ford for the movie Blade Runner was produced and sold in limited quantities as the “Ford Harrison”. *Legislation passed during WW1 making it illegal to say “gesundheit” to a sneezer was never repealed. 15 MINUTES by ROBERT DUCKETT

NEW THIS SPRING! 3 NEW STYLES

AMAZING ARCH SUPPORT

COLBURN SHOE STORE | 338.1934 Downtown Belfast | Open Every Day! | Downtown Belfast

© 2011 Robert Duckett / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

www.ColburnShoe.com | Like us on Facebook

VOL 4 - JUNE 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11


CRIME-QUIZ

by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN

TO ERR IS BOVINE

by JASON DODGE

BAROLLI

© 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

© 2011 Jason Dodge / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

LAST ISSUE’S

CAPTION CONTEST WINNER Does this taste undercooked to you?

No Funnies Extra! in your neck of the woods? No problem! Just contact us for information on starting your own lucrative Funnies Extra! publishing business. Hurry! Limited licensing opportunities available in select territories across the U.S. and Canada. For details, go to: www.funnies-extra.com 12 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Chris Henning, 35, of Dixmont, Maine, who submitted the above caption to last issue’s Caption Contest. Offer your own submission to this month’s contest on page 3.


8

13

4

9

5

10

6

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#2 FUEL KEROSENE PROPANE OFF-ROAD DIESEL ULS DIESEL GASOLINE

12

14 Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC in North America only.

LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS

#2 Fuel | kerosene | propane ULS diesel | off-road diesel | gasoline 1376 Waterville Road, Waldo, Maine 207.342.4040 • thompsonsoil.com

Tastes LikeBYChicken JOSH ALVES

© 2011 Sheila Anderson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

www.facebk.com/tasteslikechickencomic

7

3

©2011 Josh Alves

2

wordgames.co.uk

1

For answers, visit funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

VOL 4 - JUNE 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13


Cart

nist Sp tlight

Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information, go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF file along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited) A book on Feng Shui to bring harmony to my home.

))LQH&&DELQHWU\\ &DUYHG6LJQV

Pokeweed © 2011 Drew Pocza pokeweedcomics.com

Whutcha Reading Piggy?

by DREW POCZA Says here to “pay close attention to the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen”.

the so‐called feng shui "triangle."

So what’s the problem?

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

POKEWEED

I live in poop.

Craig A. Lowe, Unity, Maine | 207.948.2773 Pokeweed! A small town with big fun. It’s the anywhere and everywhere town on the map, but just south of nowhere. Living in Pokeweed, anything can happen, but always with loads of fun. A simple life pokes at ya from Drew Pocza. www.pokeweedcomics.com

Mention this ad and receive 5% off your purchase

OUT TO LUNCH

by RICH DIESSLIN

325 Old County Road, Rockland, ME 04841 www.snapdragons.biz | 207.701.5070

Home to cartoon titles including Out to Lunch, The Cartoon Gospel, Religious Light, and KNOTS or Not Scout Cartoons!

Fast, accurate, ffriendlyy service! Owner on site!

Thanks to over 1.2 million visits to his web site and over 35,000 to last year’s “The Cartoon Days of Christmas” (TCDC), Rich enjoys success far outside the norm for most cartoonists.

65 MT. EPHRAIM RD, SEARSPORT MON-SAT, 9AM-5PM | 548-2363

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

MT Bottles REDEMPTION CENTER

Rich is a prodigious cartoonist in many different markets that appeals to a wide audience.

Stop By for 6 Cent Tuesdays!

14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

Rich Diesslin is a member of the National Cartoonists Society. To view his extensive collection, go to: www.the-cartoonist.com


po Business Op

Do You Know Someone Looking For An Honest

ing k e e s e r a e W rs e y u b e v i t c e prosp siness u b l l a m s r u for o

Call Bob at

SPECTICKLES © 2011 Bill Abbott / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Motivated, hard eat with people? independent and gr

a business that: r fo g in k o lo e n Anyo DPVOUT SFTUBCMJTIFEBD

tIBTPWF BST DPVOUTGPSPWFSZF BD F FT UI H JO JD SW TF tIBTCFFO QMBDFUPSFBDI tIBTUIFDPOUBDUTJO PNFST TPGFBHFSDVTU DPTUT tPòFSTMPXTUBSUVQ ZPODPOTJHONFOU tQSPWJEFTJOWFOUPS

722.3427

rtunity

?

ne you know: Are you or someo-working, organized,

Books Are Fun

by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END

TM

by TYSON COLE Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Answers to last month’s crossword

VOL 4 - JUNE 2012 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15


SPEED BUMP

by DAVE BLAZEK CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK

by DAVE COVERLY LOOSE PARTS

Professional iPhone Repair. iPhone | iPod | iPad

broken screens | water damage | battery issues | buy and sell | recycling

chris downs

computerroom 207.217.2534

cdcomputerroom.com chris@cdcomputerroom.com

by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT Want to learn more STARDATE 92521.8, CAPTAIN’S LOG USS EXCELSIOR, HIKARU SULU REPORTING... ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE ORDERS FROM STARFLEET TO FORCIBLY REMOVE ADMIRAL KIRK FROM HOOTERS ON STARBASE FIVE.

info@karma-cafe.net

16 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 4 - JUNE 2012

&

© 2012 Karma-Cafe.net / Dist. by Ink Bottle Syndicate

KARMA CAFE

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Funnies Extra Midcoast Maine June 2012