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“Billy shows much enthusiasm but is lacking in some areas of writing skill. He completes his written assignments very quickly and should be encouraged to take more time to strive for neatness and better penmanship.” —The assessment from my 10th grade Honors English teacher. True to form, throughout the 18 years of writing this column, I've never missed a deadline. My handwriting is still messy, but all I do is type.
Way back in August of 1995, I was asked by one of my best friends to write a column for the gay paper he worked at. It was an emergency—the person who wrote the gossip column had stolen money from the paper and simply disappeared. They were in a rush, and they were desperate—two qualities I look for in my men. Since my stand-up material was filled with celebrity gossip, I banged out a column quickly and swore it was a oneshot deal. Three columns later, I got a call from another gay paper asking if they could pick up the syndication rights. And that, dear reader, is how the Billy Masters empire was born. Back then, I had to fax in my column because most of the papers didn't have e-mail. Some didn't even have a fax machine and would make me mail them a hard copy. How times have changed. These days, the minute a reality star takes a photo of his penis, it turns up on BillyMasters.com. God bless the internet—and God bless you all. Russia's anti-gay legislation has sparked much discussion about the upcoming 2014 Olympics in Sochi. While bans and demonstrations are being considered, skater Johnny Weir has a completely different approach. He not only plans to attend and compete, he plans to be as flamboyant as ever. “If it takes me getting arrested for people to pay attention and for people to lobby against this law, then I'm willing to take it.” I'm sure Weir's willingness to “take it” will not come as a surprise to many. And that leads to the ‘big’ story of the week—Wentworth Miller coming out of the closet. This was big news to those of you who have been living under a rock since Prison Break debuted six years ago. Up until now, he's always denied being gay—most blatantly in this quote: “I'm not gay, but that rumor can't be killed. I'd
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like to have a girlfriend and family. But I people away from him saying, “Keep your haven't met the right one yet.” And I'd like hands away from me. I'm straight!” Lucas to sleep with Brad Pitt, but he hasn't went over to him and asked why he was knocked on my door yet! I believe Went being so rude. Nick replied, “I am straight, made this quote around the time he was and I don't want any gay people to touch squiring Luke MacFarlane all over Holme.” Lucas took that as a cue to have lywood—but that's another story. The him ejected. Nick pulled the old “Don't point is, he's out now. And he did it to make you know who I am?” routine. Lucas, a statement. He was invited to attend rolling his eyes (and, surely, pursing his the St. Petersburg International Film Feslips), said, “I don't know, and I don't even tival in Russia, and here is how he want to know who you think you are.” responded: “As someone who has enjoyed Within moments, security arrived and visiting Russia in the past and can also literally dragged Gruber out of the party claim a degree of Russian ancestry, it at such speed that his feet never touched would make me happy to say yes. Howthe ground. E-mails subsequently ever, as a gay man, I must decline. I am exchanged between the two have made deeply troubled by the current attitude their way online, and I'm sure you can toward and treatment of gay men and find them easily—if you're that interwomen by the Russian government.” Well, ested. While you're online, you should I certainly didn't know that he's got some also check out Nick's body of work and Russian in him—among other ethnicities, the recent riveting interview he gave our I'm sure. Another article referred to him bon ami Michael Musto. They're all on as a “British actor.” Turns BillyMasters.com. out he was born to AmerIt may be my anniverican citizens and didn't move sary, but you guys are getto the States until he was a ting the presents with not year old. Lord knows what one but two “Ask Billy” quesother revelations are coming. tions. The first comes from An interesting converHenry in Dallas: “I heard that sation was captured Simon Rex is making a between WWE wrestler comeback ... doing what?” Darren Young and a camSimon—and his sizeable eraman from TMZ. The appendage—is being used ‘reporter’ (and I use that to hawk mascara! The comterm loosely) asked if he mercial for Benefit Costhought a wrestler could metics has women ogling come out as gay and still be men with large bulges, and successful. Young smiled when they unzip (or, in and answered, “Absolutely— Simon's case, lower his look at me. I'm a WWE Speedo), out pops a tube of Darren Young superstar and, to be honest mascara. Although he's with you, I'll tell you right clearly trading on his gay now, I'm gay and I'm happy—very happy.” porn past (while channeling his “Dirt That says it all. He's Young, gay and happy! Nasty” rapper persona), it's nice to know Ever since ex-porn star Nick Gruber he's working—and looking so good, as returned to New York, he's been plagued you'll see on BillyMasters.com. with drama. Not that having Calvin Klein Our second question is from Josh in as your ex (or current) beau would lend Baltimore: “I don't think you watch Big itself to a drama-free life, but this is really Brother, but there was a guy on there who getting ridiculous. The latest incident was totally your type. David was voted happened at the très chic Ascension off first and was a real stud in that beach party on Fire Island. Apparently Nick was bum kinda way. Are there any nudes of with some friends and somehow stumhim out there?” bled into the private tent of entre-pornOne of my dearest friends is a huge eur Michael Lucas, who is also no Big Brother devotée, but I must say she shrinking violet in the drama department has completely failed me by not bringing (but he's so smart and sexy, I accept it). David Girton to my attention. For heaven's According to witnesses, Nick was pushing sake, he's a 25-year-old lifeguard from
David Girton
San Diego. The hair, the body, the tan— I would have been all over that (as the kids say). Because he only lasted 13 days in the house, you'd think we wouldn't have any incriminating photos. Well, you'd be wrong, because we do. Since being evicted, he's said, “I was hoping this would help me get a modeling or acting career out of this.” Well, Davey, your wish is my command. You can see every inch of Girton on BillyMasters.com—and that's quite a few inches. When I'm planning a leg cramp the next time I'm swimming in San Diego, it's definitely time to end yet another column. In what is becoming an unfortunate trend, I must take a moment to acknowledge the passing of someone who was very special to me. Many of you probably know of Damon Intrabartolo as the writer of the musical bare. He was enormously talented in so many areas, but also incredibly complex—a dear person who was also kind of a lost soul. He recently passed away at the age of 39, way too soon and far too tragic for me to even joke about. He'll be missed and not soon forgotten. While I hate being abrupt, I must wrap up not only this column but also another year. So let me quickly remind you—as I have every week for the past 18 years—that you can keep up with my comings and going at BillyMasters.com, the site that's got nothing to hide. If you've got a question, send it to Billy@Billy Masters.com and I promise to get back to you before my next anniversary. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.