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Cantos Cunnus “A Joyful Noise”

by Frater Gray Hölme

June 2005 Colorado USA


Synopsis: Pandora’s Box Retold. To beat death and the fear of living, humankind seems intent to worship something Larger – here we consider aspects of gender, culture and spirit as they relate to the singular imperative – a return to the sacred Feminine. Men are both fearful and jealous that women bleed - unwounded; that the cycle of her bleeding is in concert with a wax/wane of a heavenly object (the moon), and that She is able to produce the occasional baby. So it is that men who - without any obvious connection to regeneration, immortality nor a tie to the skies – spew forth endless [and exclusive] “sacred” pretensions in attempted compensation against death and against the game of life - languages, litany and law; sky gods, demons and devils; all manners of control, divisions and boundaries; bloodletting and forced death - and yet He is unable to produce even one child – except in His myths. The Womb with Her aspects of Menses (blood), Fecundity (babies) and Orgasms (plurality) is the bridge to understanding Creation out of Chaos (aka: God). All other avenues are artifice and dead-ended. If you have not heard Her sound, these words will not disclose it. If you have ears, then all other sound is empty theory and hollow form. Return to your Beginning. Consider the re-sacralization of the Feminine as a return to humankind’s actual and true First Cause – a return resulting in renewed desire, reunion and re-creation. And She alone owns an ecstatic orgastic Voice that silences all limited “sacred” male inventions – closing the lid on dislocation, destruction and despair. Notes: Once you have seen a woman’s face during her 8th or 13th orgasm - once you have seen a woman’s face while giving birth – and heard Her Voice – only then you will lay down your golf clubs, rifles, writing pens, scepters, gavels, Writ and remote controls. If you have not, there is no reason to read further. If you have, there is no reason to read further. Re: Cantos Cunnus – “Joyful Noise”: OED: Canto(s) (Latin: cantus) division(s) of a long poem [It.,=song]: Canticle = Hymn, one of the Anglican Prayer-Book hymns; Cantate n. Canticle (Hymn) consisting of Ps. 98. See Ps 98.4, 100.1 - “Joyful noise”; Cunnus (Latin: vulva).


Assumption of Mater. Dreading death, long æons of humankind have grasped at any means to imitate Immortality. Consider here the veneration of the Matrix - Womb, Kunti or Yoni - whatever Her cultural name - as the primeval archetype (praefigurare) to subsequent male derivatives. All “religious” symbol derive from Female’s Sex and its aspects. And the temporal (present, Now!) reality of our Generatrix is to be preferred to the blasphemy of feeble, invented abstracted and, therefore, secondary “holy” artifice. Other writers (cf: Shlain) have observed that the males of the human species, lacking the numinous (thaumaturgical) fecundity and bleeding of women, have attempted exclusive compensation against her Living Presence through the super elevation of a great myriad of symbols - not only by means of the expected “sacred” liturgy, dogma and temples, but by the more insidious “graven image” -that of the written word itself, scripted concepts and holy names - this idolatry of the Word is as invisible to man as water is to fish. To the degree that these “sacred” systems of symbols have their development and basis simply to shore up a man’s insecurity in light of a woman’s fecundity, to that degree, such empty forms and formulas must now be set aside. At best, (cf: Kurt Goldammer), all symbols, as intellectual abstraction of Being, act as a meditation between humankind and the great unapproachable vastness considered “sacred and holy”. But why do we adapt to and prefer the invented Abstraction instead of the direct confrontation of the Fearful? And by facing Her, thereby humble the inevitable arrogance of invented Symbol. Our Generatrix - which is simultaneously contracted Symbol, limitless Presence and living flesh - is the preferred and only legitimate medium by which to worship the Ineffable. Notes: Does the word T-R-E-E loom larger in the mind than that single, green, fragrant, wind-bending, fruit bearing, growing vegetation in the Garden? As we uphold (and kill for) the abstract Holy Name of “Allah” or


“Yahweh” or “Jesus Christ”, do we make ourselves deaf to the “ still, small voice” or “sound of sheer silence”? (Cf 1 Kings 14.11-12 KJV and NRSV) numinous = indicative of divinity; thaumaturgical = wonder working

It is not unreasonable to doubt the pretensions of the present “holy” and official patriarchal Paradigm in the West – the heavenly (read: male sky) “Our Father God” promoted by the Abramic monotheistic oligarchies of Christian, Jew and Moslem – that is, the male creature conceives and births its own anthropomorphic Creator – a strange blasphemy even for a believer. As example, That “One” which fundamentalists and zealots have agreed to call the “Almighty” and “Omnipotent” never seems to be able to work directly, but is deemed to use very limited and indirect methods which always seem to require intermediating Saviors and Prophets, abstracted Symbols and words, dogmas and the very, very critical constant assistance of minor human agents- largely, men only. Why, as example, does this “Almighty” and “His” “Helpers, Best Friends, of the Omnipotent” always seem to need your spare pocket money? What, only a few more coins or just a few more “souls” to aid the almost (nearly, wannabe) “Almighty”. Again, curious blasphemy by the believer. Notes: Christians rarely read St. Paul’s statement that “all that may be known of God by men” has been “disclosed. . to them. . . by God himself. . .ever since the world began” , that is, before the arrival of the Deity’s helpful assistants, friends of the Big Guy. (Rom. 1.18ff NEB) Or, again very rarely, “for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.” 2 Corinthian 3.6ff Or Christ’s statement that “I have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. It is expedient that I go away, for if I go not away, the Parakletos will not come . . .to guide you into all truth.” John 16.12, 7,13. The Hebrews have it right – “God” is too large for human Name.

It would be well if the male’s compensation for lack of immortality and the fear of life itself simply stopped with invented symbols, written language and religions. It does not. What is more curious is that when the male invents the latest compensation for his lack of connection with Nature and for continuation beyond death, he immediately hides that new paradigm – a somewhat inversion of a “Pandora’s Box” – enclosing all evil into the Box and then he excludes Pandora and her sisters from seeing what new inventions 5

are inside His special box. But if smoke, then fire – if the evidence is first observed that there is the exclusion of women from the latest male construct, then one might conclude that there is the creation of a man’s new false compensation against death and his fear of living. Notes: So, if true, the “excluded woman = new male compensation” might include: If no female teachers; then education, alphanumeric systems If no female priests; then religions, abstract belief systems, If no female doctors; then study of medicine and life sciences If no female vote; then government, borders, boundaries If no female lawyers; then law systems, corporations, last wills If no female soldiers; then wars and implements of war, If no female inquisitors; then sin, guilt, evil, Devils If no female competitors; then team sports, races, race cars If no actresses (kabuki, Shakespeare, Greek); then theater, politics If no female brotherhoods; then secret societies, fraternities If no female name givers (nominclators); then naming names, patronyms (male surnames), sacred divine names (“in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost”); honorifics, titles, magic incantations– cf: Egypt: Hekau below. In all, an aweful box of futile wonders. One learns with little study that most or all of these constructs mentioned above are direct robberies from women- as example, from RC Camphausen: “incantations or magic words = the Egyptian “hekau” (from Hekat - Egyptian toad-headed goddess of birth) comes from the Thracian Goddess Hecate (“older than Zeus and Osiris”) who is the archetypal high goddess of magic (her name means “Extending Her Will from Afar”). In this sense then, perhaps “Words of Power” (hekau/magic) do not necessarily/always have to be male-made.”

And what here is meant as devotion? A nod, a thought or a smile? No. Not less energy than that given to officially sanctioned forms of devotion: St. Anthony fighting naked demonesses for 20 years in Egyptian solitude; the two Simon Stylites living on pillars in the Syrian wilderness for 60 years. Bodhidharma facing the cave wall until his legs fell off. Presently, the men6

only Mount Athos, Greece, is alive with 1900 monks intoning prayer and chants from 20 Orthodox monasteries. Or let us simply equal the level of enthusiasm and devotion of daily (or weekly) celebrants of the Mass or any other repetitive devotional entrainment - no more or less is suggested here. Notes: In 1055 ad, imperial edict closed Mt. Athos to women; in 1110, imperial edict closed Mt. Athos to female animals.

And though our tirade concerns some philosophic elements, we also observe a very certain reality. Against all religious moralists’ ravings to the contrary [original sin, bounded desires, celibacy, etc.] – the veneration [intended or not] of the Matrix works! That is, women have been very successfully making babies! If we count only your ancestors’ last 30 generations, (cf: Matt Ridley) you are physically here and now reading this because you are the present generation of more than one BILLION successful acts of procreation (aka: sex) - counting back, say, only to 1000 AD- that is, counting your two parents, four grandparents, etc. - 230 equals one billion. Actions speak louder than bigots’ hypocrisy, pretense and deceit. Now, it is understood in this attempt to persuade by use of language, logic and rhetoric – all variants of anathemic Symbol and written word - that the writer’s gender stands quite nakedly revealed. By the same token, the characteristics of the anticipated audience are unintentionally narrowed and defined. Many women will not believe that “menstrual envy” underlies anything, especially the religio-cultural underpinning of this planet, but it is doubtful that there are any such oxymoronic creatures as a “female fundamentalist”. Certainly, most woman are already smugly conscious (maybe, perhaps unconsciously aware cf: gestalt) of their advantage (cf: Mark Twain: always at the sexual ready, bleeding by the moon, always at the sexual read and making babies - man can not!) and of the failed attempts of the many males’ compensations of immortality (perhaps read: resurrection or is it: re-erection?). And such women have no reason to read further (except to gloat!) (but thank 7

you for allowing us to share your oxygen and odd bits of the remaining planet). There will be both men and women who have not yet found any part of the present paradigm amiss and will not have read this far. Thus, the speaker has only a slim hope to find some few listeners within a transition of mind or soul. Notes: anathemic= accursed thing ; Gestalt=the whole of perceptions and reactions which are larger than the sum of the parts

Lastly, it is important when preaching, to be reminded of “the choir” namely, all acolytes and their lovers who have abandoned the confines of Symbol and are already immersed within the “Joyful Noise” of these Cantos (cf: Canticle of Psalms 98) - that uniquely multi-orgastic fecund feminine voice. The “choir” wishes to remind us that attempts to resolve this matter with tools of writing, words and rhetoric are fundamentally and fatally flawed as the use of fingers and tongues are better applied elsewhere.

Propos. When Carolus Linnaeus named us “Homo sapiens”, he optimistically assumed this species’ wisdom (wisdom=L. sapere). Certainly, human beings exhibit ready appetite, desire and longing, with extra amounts of doubt, but to be wise? No, there is very little wisdom. We are too quickly satisfied with intermediate offerings. We instruct our children to worship only at the cooling edges of Mystery, and to avoid approaching its boiling cauldron. This teaching results in broken fragments of easily “managed” human hubris (pride) - words, prayers, symbols, theories, dogma and liturgies - that are then arrogantly elevated to “sacred” and “salvation”. Surface is never Truth - neither surface nor layers beneath - eons of pollutions, opinioned and manipulated detritus. Unfortunately, such arrogant and proud “beliefs”, for the fundamentalist and zealot, continually (daily) supersede the value of human life itself, either the individual or collective.


There is a grace! (cf: Graves, White Goddess) those few persons who have, consciously or serendipitously, turned to face the fiery Cauldron who will not afterwards accept as “holy and sacred”, the fragmented, partial and prepacketed artifacts of human pride, comfort and profit. Closer study of 10,000 years of extant myth cycles suggests that the great majority of this planet’s scattered “sacred” Symbols and alternated Saviors arise solely from the fear and amazement of the Feminine, especially Her sex, Her bleeding, coitus and fecundity. The Womb, Kunti, Matrix, Generatrix or Yoni – which ever of Her thousand names – she fills all who are woman born with the deepest dread. As our Creatrix and first Source - she is our unarguable connection to All. Without Her, none could even arrive to then mock Being and Presence. She embraces generation, regeneration, death; creation and consummation; our beginning and our end. She is the too ready measure of our own tiny limited Being – that “dust to dust” (and from the fear of such mortal dust arise all religions – the alliances of the fearful). She, the Shekhina, on whose hovering brightness, we cannot gaze except by pain of death. Yet both Man and Woman attempt to hide and cover Her. Her powers and properties are diluted and stolen. Society attempts endless imitations of Her immortality. Passion and desire for Her are forbidden. Her obscuration is long calculated theft. On rare occasion, when She is spontaneously revealed, Her Epiphanies are not embraced. Rather refuge is taken in the secondary, the quartered, the predigested, prepackaged—the safe. If one, intent on worship, were to cut through the layers of obscuration, compensation and management, where would the ax stop? On what final surface would it rest? (This necessary exfoliation at depth.) There is but a single answer – She from who we arrive. And there is but a single response the active and continual adoration of our frightful Generatrix - to work from the unknowable center of the maze outward - overwhelming Words with Passion, and Dogma with Desire. With only little encouragement, She is able 9

to call upon a Voice more eloquent than any of Man’s “sacred” words, mantras and prayers. Such sweet sound is preferred to the blasphemy of broken male constructs of attempted compensation. This is the “Joyful Noise” - the true and only Hymn and Canticle.

i. Invocation. Here we are bid to our Creatrix, to our immanent Matrix, who is our Beginning and Reunion with all existence. This invocation is itself rare but our positive response is rarer. With such an overwhelming object of desire and adoration, so close, “within our reach”, what halts our embrace? Why does humanity prefer a substitute for the Living Matrix, the countless abstracted “safe” symbols: disembodied Saviors, Messiahs and Mediators, unsubstantive dogma and complex metaphysical constructs? And why does Man and Woman keep our Generatrix so securely wrapped, “protected” and securely hidden for at least these latest 6000 years?? (Is Woman too afraid of Her own Self and Shadow? Without Her consent, would subjugation and diversion have been possible?) Unfortunately the “answers” - an optimistic term - lie beyond what we consider “reason” or even “spirit” - for the Matrix gives rise to the deepest fear, dread, and envy, that from such depth, Psych Herself is unwilling to release this chthonic knowledge. We pray to free that Sacred Djinni deep within Her ancient and shuttered Grail.

ii. Detritus of Desire “Who is she that looks forth like the dawn, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army with banners?” Origin of the World River Out of Eden Consolation of Luxury


O, immanent gate. Matrix, Creatrix, Generatrix The kingdom of Heaven Within our grasp. Mother of us All Beginning, nourishment, issue Pray garden and delight Instructor, destructor Folded to final rest.

iii. Epiphany. The manifestation of the feminine mythos seeks to connect human, animal and plant existence. Her material artifacts of worship began at least 30,000 years ago. And though we, Yoni borne, well know the “Holy Matrix” during our first years of life, Her memories are quickly eclipsed by the overlay of the newer and simplistic 4000 year old compensatory “Us vs. Them” dogma of the present “male” sky god cosmology. This horrific paradigm, accompanied by its very necessary warrior cult, glorifies divisions and separations (boundaries and borders, laws and creeds, fences and defenses), and seeks to disconnect us from each other and from our planet. Given the resultant and accelerating destruction of both human life and the earth itself, the return to our earlier connection to the Matrix deserves a far more serious consideration.

iv. Temple well pillaged. Though long suppressed and hidden, the deep Matrix archetype is alive. Much of Her direct immensity has been hijacked by newer “owners” who adamantly claim it as their original property and deny its true source (cf: the history of the Eucharist). Is this an act of adoration or of theft? Or, perhaps, is this Her own means of survival? Material examples


abound- consider “Sacred” architecture: the Catholic cathedral - the Islamic mosque - or the Hebrew tabernacle in the Wilderness - all bespeak the stolen Matrix- the doors and entrances, the shape of Her vulva; the vault, Her symbolic womb; the dome, Her pregnant belly; the inner tabernacle (the Most Holy), Her cervix; the ark or pyx, Her uterus. Each Gothic arch, window and door reveals Her mandorla (almond, vesica piscia). What is this curious necessity to form plastic “sacred” temples (Gods need houses?) and to build “holy” playthings (again, Helper’s immortality)? Is it a perverted homage or expropriation of the actual and fearsome human temple of the Creatrix – and an attempted return to the womb? (“except ye be born again”). In Her coital aspect:- yes, the steeple and vault; minaret and qubba; the efficient all-in-one Buddhist stupa; all are easily understood, but in popular sports? -the puck and net; club and cup; pigskin and goal posts - all the diluted (perhaps: deluded) and weaken forms of direct adoration - all mislaid properties of the coital Matrix herself. Even Her 28-day menstrual/lunar cycle is divided into its four phases (the unnatural “Week”) and the new owners’ fight over that quarter’s sacred seventh (Islam’s Friday [Salat al-jun’ah], Hebrew’s Saturday [Shabbat], Christianity’s Sunday [Lord’s Resurrection]). Notes: It takes only the smallest mental and visual sidestep to take the graphic outlines of the 1500 years of art and artifacts of innumerable (c. 21,000-30,000+) apparitions of the Holy Virgin and compare that image with the living form of the physical vulva – its hood, clitoris, labia, , - the forms are the same – the Virgin’s head leaning to one side, her outstretched arms and hands in the drape and folds of her garments, as she stands at the opening of a grotto or within an aureole. Can you see the hidden Matrix in this way re-visioned? If so, tell no one. Re: Her Coital Aspects- A symbolist would observe a host of Her coital (yoni/phallic) aspects in quasi-utilitarian objects which appear as everyday fashion: in a “bell/stem” form - a wine glass, stiletto heeled shoes, a hat or cap, pickup truck; or “pointy circles”- holly wreath, ring of keys, a crown; or more obvious- a ringed finger, horseshoes (the game), a witch’s broom stick, patriot’s flag wrapped pole, steeple/domed church; bell in a steeple or tower; arrow heads and amphorae.


v. Virgin. Can this Virgin be known? perhaps learned? (By no means! Such a contradiction.) The Virgin is to be desired, elevated. Apparitions of the Virgin? Yes, but apparitions only. Adoration of the Virgin? Yes, but only ever, adoration. And here begins the Separation of the Word: Desire should flame into Consummation, (rarely- too much fear). Desire delayed (deceived) gives rise to yearning. From yearning, yes, adoration; From adoration (almost immediately), Words arise of the Mind. Your many children fear the Fire Taking refuge in spent coals. Arrogant; yet feeble Fantasies are not whited Fire! Where there is consummation, there is no Desire (neither words). Pray tongues of fire descending and Burning bushes, your wilderness.


vi. She arrives, this menarche. Power to an innocent. Here begins the compensation of Everyman. Red river of life; the sea of envy. To bleed without a wound, turning with the moon. Sometimes, a baby. Are You so immortal? River out of Eden.

vii. Compensation. First he attempts control. Only by use of unbalanced cultural and religious obscuration, Man struggles to compensate his lack of control by confusion and illusion (“obscurum per obscurious”). With invented sky gods, language and symbols, Man attempts order against seeming chaos. With money, law and religion, Man divides, separates, “conquers”. And as creator of social oppositions - the Prince vs. the Pauper, the Chosen vs. the Infidel. - here Man pretends at control and, thus, pretends at immortality. All attempts are ever partial, unsuccessful and devastating to human life and to the Earth. But there are at least two faces of male compensation which if joined (Janus) are catastrophic to humankind – the envy of female blood and the envy of female lubricity (cf: Mark Twain- the woman is always ready and always competent for sex with multi orgasmic capability – man is not). This later envy is mixed with Man’s ithyphallic fantasies and His horror of detumescence – real and metaphorical (re: performance anxiety, la petite mort) - with the very real remembrances into antiquity’s ritualized sacrifice of the solar (annual) vegetation “gods” - Eucharistic scarecrows (cf: Frazer) - that is, the King with 14

the limp dick dies, his blood spilled into the Earth and he is then eaten. No questions, no immortality – just food for the kingdom. Yes, certainly, building a tall vertical monuments might help to keep the spirits up – a steeple, stele, maypole, minaret, tombstone, tower, obelisk, asherah, pyramid, skyscaper - all obvious Priapic dreams of compensation. But hopes of erection, re-erection and monuments to immemorial or even monuments built by words and concepts are relatively harmless. There is yet a deadly result of blood envy and phallic compensation. Note: cf: Baring and Cashford, page 383 - “the male bios - the life which begins and ends. . .- unites with the female zoe, the timeless principle of regeneration that does not die”.

As stated, no small amount of the amazement and dread on the part of Mankind falls from the synchronous cycle of Woman’s earthly bleeding - its hidden Menses - with the cycle of the heavenly Moon in concert with the local womengroup (cf: B McClintock). Then, on occasion, Woman lets slip the next generation. Man has no such heavenly (sky) connection, nor is his future so secured by regeneration. Man does not bleed. Man cannot bleed!? By invention and imitation, certainly, Man can bleed. We are after all - “saved by the Blood” – who bleeds?? Special men from the sky, of course. Which male Mediator now offers immortality through their bleeding? “We are saved by the Blood of [Dumuzi, Attis, Mithra, Jesus, Osiris, Orpheus, Zeus, Dionysos]”. (Why by blood? Why from the sky?) Who must bleed? The man himself? Oh, no, never. Always the Other must do the bleeding. By joining the amazement and dread of Woman’s earthly bleeding with ithyphallic pointed compensatory tools, here is the harm – blood meets the projected phallus. Observe the stolen blood sacrificed on the even more stolen altars (are they phalli or mons Veneris?) to gain the eternal salvation of the [local tribe, sect, cult, club, nation]. See how many pointed ways Man can open the veins of a multitude of living animals, or devour the King (when available)(cf: Frazer) or destroy the infidel (more easily found) – all 15

in sacrifice to the Name of our heavenly Immortal Savior (read: helping “my personal Friend” and, as such, my source of Immortality). See the rise and fall of the failed compensation - the long, fast, pointy tools of terror and destruction - guns, cannons and missiles – pointed tools that can do only one thing - spill blood. Men cannot bleed?! Their bleeding is everywhere. Notes: This idea of spilling blood with pointy objects for the direct atonement of sin exists in an interesting form in the State of Utah – it is the only state at present that still executes the condemned by firing squad. We must now add pointy airplanes against pointy buildings 9/11. And what of flagpoles and flags, banners and cravats- again, phallic (perhaps, phallic/yonic) artifice, though these are a bit more realistic- up and down, wrapped around - “only stiff in a good wind”? but for school children [USA] to recite “I pledge allegiance to the FLAG. . .under God”?) Does belief in the Mediterranean’s mystery religion’s “resurrection” have phallic compensatory aspects? i.e. resurrection is re-erection. From the beginning of time, there have been men wishing to control by money and laws, whoredom, which indicates that there are men and women wishing to whore and pay for whoring. The only sin in whoredom is that man’s single orgasm is charged for by the woman: if an egalitarian contract was struck orgasm for orgasm - only women would pay in balance.

viii. Taken this Whore: Sirens, tearing strength. Your song In the dark storm. Owls’ sharp feet - Lilith Lips, Breasts and Cunti, red with ancient ochre Where can my hands find you? Enter you. Violate. Who is the violator? Devour. Who shall devour. Together, we will not Satisfy your hunger. Or mine.


ix. Desire forbidden. Desire - the affirmation of longing, fructesence and life - such delights are forbidden by four out of five of this planet’s religions“Desire,” the Buddha said, “blocks the path to Nirvana and is the cause of suffering and earthly rebirth” (cf:samsara). Christianity is too busy leaving the planet to embrace things earthly - St. Augustine’s “concupiscence” (sexual passion) is the “original sin” of our first parents - the apple and the snake – and the earthly reward of this taint: putrefaction of the flesh. Mohammed sublimates Desire into Surrender (islam) to Deity, to Community and to the conversion of the Infidel. Israel’s children discover Desire between narrowing legal strictures – counting days within a sheet of want. Shalom. Only within the multitude of the more ancient (and left handed) pre-Vedic paths are there celebrations of Her Desire. Note: Christianity was to have been a high speed, short term, single generational (Matt. 24.15-21, 34) escape strategy from the tainted planet Earth for the “chosen” people. The shackles of family and earthly concerns were to be thrown down (Matt. 10.34-37, 1 John 1.15-17). St. Paul suggested celibacy (1 Cor. 7.1-7). Jesus recommended much worse (Matthew 19.11,12). John the Revelator allowed that the 144,000 special saints allowed to surround Christ “the Lamb” on the heavenly Mount Sion “were not defiled with women” (Revelation 14.4). Defiled by women?

x. Immanence. Is She a part or All? Within or without? Immanence or transcendence? There is more of the Divine to be revealed in handful of sea water, of forest floor, of Kansas or Dutch farmland or even within Antarctic ice - complete with drama and intrigue - than in the combined “sacred writings” of this planet’s religions (without the arrogance and blasphemy!). And the collective substance of all such “written word” does not equal the single approach to the Matrix Herself. She, as all of Nature, (indeed the Matrix is the human form of Nature’s wildness and chaos) surrounds you “in the flesh”, yet is immanent in the existential moment, and, at the same time, still


She dances lightly in the mind. She is an enveloping transcendent metaphysic there is no excuse, nor escape. “Who was she?, Who was She not?” (cf: Gudea) Before you are able to consider Her, this palpable focus of your devotion and adoration has already contained you and sent you on your way. Dear Acolyte, this Sweet Martix fearful as She is - your Origin, Beginning, your only necessary Idol - is within your considered reach - one touch to complete the unspeakable cycle - all known creation, and that yet unknown, turns in your hand. You cannot arrive where She is not - nor depart where She has not been. You cannot please Her or offend Her. Truly, there is nothing else you must know.

xi. Iridescent labyrinth. Nuance and valley Terra incognito: cognito (we can be taught) My delight: your scent, your garden, every flower “And the leaves, the healing of the nations.” Myst, mystery, your light sweat. And salt. Holy fountain. Mons Veneris (near the trees) down long distances. Mare Sacre. “Where were you when I created the Fountains of the earth?” Penetration, conjunctio “I will put you in the cleft of the rock, and cover you with my hand” Speak dentate


Sharp edged profanities Open my head, my hands, feet and side Water and blood outpouring Destructor. Old Ewe! River stopped up. Unconceived these. Without memories. Styx, river boiling. Speak Sibyl As only you can see. Belial, pray Dark angel.

xii. Brighting Rose Lotus white turn open! Two gates: Holy and Most Holy; turn open Tabernacle, pyx, Crucible Your dross, open now Detritus; grindings down; turn open Seed and Wafer Mortar, we are your Pestle; your Spindle: lightly spinning fire. “So I could really use you beside me... or should I say inside me?” Gravidus.

xiii. Adoration. We are here called to the Yoni, the Matrix, the Kunti – “for those the Yoni shall be favorable, granting both enjoyment and liberation”. How may we free ourselves from our layers of constructs and She too from 19

Her Depth? The answers are not from attempts to substitute or compensate, nor from reason or spirit. Only by our direct adoration and devotion, can delight rise from dread and She, from Depth to Light. Put aside your words, ideas and presuppositions - look into the Matrix of life surrounding you - look directly, into its horrific brightness and wonder! Look! See! each leaf, the edge of every cloud, the wavelet in the stream. Consider carefully. How to give thanks, and at the same time, be immersed within the wonder? There is but a single possibility- a solitary petition that is without peer. Wholly divine; original and primal; radical in its first meaning. It is the sacred voice that arises from our Generatrix. Approach Her tenderly with full conscience and resource - this is the forbidden “work of the flesh” now She rises to you, She gasps, She shouts, She pants, She screams; bites, snaps, claws; She stops her breath, She faints, dies, revives; “without ceasing”. This active voice, a prayer, rising upward is the true, the first, the only and substantive “Joyful Noise”. If you have never heard this sound, no words will disclose it. If you have ears, then all other sound is empty theory and hollow form -whited sepulchers, fleshless bones. And Acolyte, necessary Lover, again and again, She is within your grasp. She surrounds you. This is the Gate that swings to Death and to Birth. She is the Eternal Return. Here is your temple, your monastery, your prayer, your release. Go to Her.

Frater Gray Hölme Silver Plume Colorado USA 20 June 2005


Related Reading: ISBNs generally paper edition. Abbot, Elizabeth “A History of Celibacy” Da Capo Press (2001) ISBN: 0306810417 Angier, Natalie “Woman: An Intimate Geography” Anchor; (2000) ISBN: 0385498411 Bettelheim, Buno “Symbolic Wounds, Puberty Rites and the Envious Male” Collier Books (1962) No ISBN Bishop, Clifford “Sex and Spirituality” (2004) Duncan Baird Publishers; ISBN: 1844830187 Blackledge, Catherine “The Story of V” Phoenix Paper(2004) ISBN: 0753817764 Blank, Joani “Femalia” Down There Press; (1993) ISBN: 0940208156 Briffault, Robert “The Mothers The Matriarchal Theory Of Social Origins” (original 3 vols: 1927) Abridged: Kessinger Publishing (2004) ISBN: 076618692X; Hard:Howard Fertig; (1993) ISBN: 0865273987 Brown, Norman Oliver “Love’s Body” University of California Press; Rpt edition (1990) ISBN: 0520071069 Camphausen, Rufus “The Encyclopedia of Sacred Sexuality” Inner Traditions (1999) ISBN: 0892817194 Camphausen, Rufus “The Yoni: Sacred Symbol of Female Power” Inner Traditions (1996) ISBN: 0892815620 Cattrall and Levinson “Satisfaction, the Art of Female Orgasm” Warner Books (2002) ISBN 0446530719 Chalker, Rebecca “The Clitoral Truth” Seven Stories Press; ASIN: 0965172597 Clare, Daniel Odier “Desire: The Tantric Path to Awakening” Inner Traditions (2001) ISBN: 0892818581 Corinne, Tee “Cunt Coloring Book” Last Gasp Press (1988) ISBN: 0867193719 Danielou, Alain ”The Phallus: Sacred Symbol of Male Power” Inner Traditions (1995) ISBN: 0892815566 Dijkstra, Bram “Idols of Perversity: Fantasies of Feminine Evil in Fin-De-Siecle Culture” Oxford University Press (1988) ISBN: 0195056523 Frazer, Sir James George “Golden Bough: A Study in Magic and Religion” Kessinger Publishing (reprint: 1927, 732 pgs. 2003) ISBN: 0766158128; abridged: Touchstone Books (1996) ISBN: 0684826305 Friedman, David “A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis” Penguin (2003) ISBN: 0142002593 Gimbutas, Marija “The Language of the Goddess” Thames & Hudson (2001) ISBN: 0500282498


Graves, Robert “The White Goddess : A Historical Grammar of Poetic Myth” Farrar, Straus and Giroux; (1966) ISBN: 0374504938 Graves, Robert and Raphel Patai “HEBREW MYTHS” Paper: Anchor 1989 ISBN: 0385263309 Hard: Carcanet Press Ltd. 2005 ISBN: 185754661X Mann, A. T. “Sacred Sexuality” Vega (2003) ISBN: 1843335832 Merritt, Natacha “Digital Diaries” TASCHEN (2000) ISBN: 382286398X Neret, Gilles “Pussycats” TASCHEN America Llc; (2003) ISBN: 3822824607 Neumann, Erich “The Great Mother” Bollingen (1972) ISBN: 0691017808 Patai, Raphel “Man and Temple” Ktav (1947) No ISBN Ridley, Matt “The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature” Perennial (2003) ISBN: 0060556579 Shlain, Leonard “Sex, Time and Power: How Women’s Sexuality Shaped Human Evolution” Viking Press; (2003) ISBN: 0670032336 Shlain, Leonard “The Alphabet Versus the Goddess: The Conflict Between Word and Image” Arkana (1999) ISBN: 0140196013 Stevens, John “The Cosmic Embrace” Shambhala (1999) ASIN: 1570621713 Thompson, William “The Time Falling Bodies Take to Light: Macmillan (1996) ISBN: 0312160623 Twain, Mark “Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings” especially Letter 8, originally published in 1963; Perennial (2004) ISBN: 0060518650 Walker, Barbara G. “Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets” HarperSanFrancisco (1983) ISBN: 006250925X Warner, Marina “Alone of All Her Sex, The Myth & Cult of the Virgin Mary” Vintage (1976) ISBN: 0394711556 White, David Gordon “Kiss of the Yogini” University Of Chicago Press (2003) ISBN: 0226894835 Wolkstein and Kramer “Inanna” Perennial (1983) ISBN: 0060908548


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