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Coaching


Contents 1. Questions for the person who wants coaching ............................................................................ 3 1.1. Questions to find out if the coach is the right coach for the person who wants coaching....... 3 1.2. What does the person, who wants coaching, need the coach to do? .................................... 5 1.3. What’s on your mind? ........................................................................................................... 6 1.4. How ready are you to improve? ............................................................................................ 8 1.5. Questions to discover your values ...................................................................................... 10 1.6. What do you do really well? ................................................................................................ 13 1.6.1. What do you think you do really well? .......................................................................... 13 1.6.2. What do people, with whom you work / live, think you do really well? .......................... 13 1.7. What challenge do you want to work on? ........................................................................... 15 1.8. How do you learn well?....................................................................................................... 16 1.9. What media and/or physical spaces do you want to use to learn? ...................................... 17 2. Additional sources of inspiration ................................................................................................ 19

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1. Questions for the person who wants coaching 1.1. Questions to find out if the coach is the right coach for the person who wants coaching Questions

Answers

How and why did the coach develop into a coach?

Who has the coach chosen NOT to coach? Why?

How is the coach developing himself / herself?

To what extent does the person, who wants coaching, trust the coach? Why /

http://www.edbatista.com/2013/07/how-to-find-and-choose-a-coach.html

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The goal is to find a match between 1) the deficiencies, limitations or uncertainties of a person and 2) the experiences, expertise or knowledge of another person.1

Reverse mentoring can help senior executives understand the mind-set of younger customers and employees as well as teaching them fashionable cool technologies. The young person gains a sponsor and contact at a senior level who can give them invaluable advice and guidance.2

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https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-art-of-giving-and-receiving-advice http://www.destination-innovation.com/the-benefits-of-reverse-mentoring/ 4


1.2. What does the person, who wants coaching, need the coach to do?

Coaching means unlocking a person’s potential to maximize his or her performance. To coach a person is to help a person to learn.3

Adjust your coaching style to each person’s needs. What works for one person may not work for another person. Figure out the best approach for each person by watching people in action.4

When you have asked a question, be quiet and listen.5

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https://hbr.org/2018/08/managers-think-theyre-good-at-coaching-theyre-not https://hbr.org/2015/02/how-to-coach-according-to-5-great-sports-coaches 5 https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2467181240 page 33 and 155. 4

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1.3. What’s on your mind? Questions

Answers

What’s on your mind? What else? What do you think you really need? What do you want to change? What do you want to know? What idea / problem / need do you have? 5 x why? How did the idea / problem get into your head? When did you first start thinking about this idea / problem? Who played a role to get you started thinking about this idea / this problem? What did she / he do? How important is this idea / problem for you and people you care a lot about? Why? What do you think is good about this idea / problem / challenge? How convinced are you that you can solve this problem? What makes you convinced? To what extent can you make this challenge the major focus of your life? How? To what extent does the idea / challenge fit your values? Suppose a miracle happened during which there is a 10 times improvement of the situation. Can you please describe the new, improved situation?

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To help a person make real, lasting change, facilitate the exploration of needs, motivations, desires, skills and thought processes.6

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http://new.coachingnetwork.org.uk/information-portal/what-are-coaching-and-mentoring/ 7


1.4. How ready are you to improve? Questions

Answers

How active do you want to be in improving / getting better?

On a scale from 1 to 10: Comments:

How open will you be about  what you do,  how you do things, and  why you do things?

On a scale from 1 to 10: Comments:

How aware are you about who you are – including what your values and purpose are?

On a scale from 1 to 10: Comments:

How much do you appreciate to get feedback about who you are?

On a scale from 1 to 10: Comments:

What in your life prevents you from learning?

On a scale from 1 to 10: Comments:

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If a person believes he cannot set aside time to improve himself, he or she is not ready for coaching.7

The first step toward being coachable is to establish private space and trust with a set of individuals whose feedback one respects.8

Mentoring with young people works best when the young person decides himself / herself when he / she wants to chat with a mentor.9

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https://hbr.org/2018/07/4-signs-an-executive-isnt-ready-for-coaching https://hbr.org/2018/08/why-great-success-can-bring-out-the-worst-parts-of-our-personalities 9 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-OMF7e5CVc&feature=youtu.be&t=15m40s 8

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1.5. Questions to discover your values Questions

Answers

As a child, what did you love to do? Why?

What was your last moment of true happiness? Why?

Who is the person you care most about? Why? What have you been most proud of doing in your life? Why?

What makes you really angry? Why?

Which are the 2 least important values to you? Why?

Which 1 word says the most about you? Why? What would you miss the most, if it was taken away from you? Why?

When you don’t work, what do you spend most of your time on? Why?

Besides costs for food and rent / mortgage, what do you spend most of your money on? Why? Which person do you spend most time with? Why?

What do you love to do the most? Why?

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Questions

Answers

Whom do you admire the most? Why?

What part of your personality do you have in common with your father?

What part of your personality do you have in common with your mother?

When you don’t live anymore, which words would people use to describe who you were? Why? Please reflect on the last situation during which your partner wanted to do something different than you wanted to do. How did you react / respond? Whom do you envy? Why?

What in your life is on hold? Why?

Which are 2 most important values to you?

When were you at your best?

On a scale from 0 to 100, how alive do you feel in your life? Why?

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Coaching is about helping a person create greater awareness about beliefs that over time have fossilized into his or her truths.10

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http://www.livemint.com/Companies/EqLTegZ15v7TcaJ4zOeDHJ/What-do-good-coaches-in-sport-and-businessreally-do.html 12


1.6. What do you do really well? 1.6.1. What do you think you do really well?

1.6.2. What do people, with whom you work / live, think you do really well?

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Find out what the young person is good at – and tell her or him that. That will help the young person get a job or start a business.11

One leader published all results from his own 360 degree feedback exercise on the company intranet - along with a personal commitment to improve.12

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-OMF7e5CVc&feature=youtu.be&t=17m46s https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/leadership/why-leadership-development-programs-fail 14


1.7. What challenge do you want to work on? Questions

Answers

Where are you going? Why? What do you really want? Where do you think that the family / team / company / community, you are a part of, is going? Where do other members of the family / team / company / community think it is going? What do you want to learn / get better at / change? How do you think you can be a better partner / worker / manager / participant / community member? What small, visible, easily achievable goal can you set that will help you succeed and get into the habit of winning? Which of these challenges matters most? Which challenge will you focus on? Improvement of what skill will have the greatest impact on your professional development? If you were the coach for yourself, what advice would you give yourself? How is your work / life when you reach the goal you set for yourself? What do you want to stop doing? What do you want to start doing? What was most useful for you? What did you learn? What do you want to remember?

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1.8. How do you learn well? Learning methods

Answers

To what extent do you like to watch / observe? What do you like to watch? Whom do you like to watch?

To what extent do you like reading? What do you like to read? When do you like to read?

To what extent do you like to write? What do you like to write? Using which tools do you like to write?

Whom do you like to listen to?

To what extent do you like to try new things out? What do you like to try out? Where do you like to try things out?

To what extent do you like to talk? With whom do you like to talk?

When do you like to think about what you have learned?

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1.9. What media and/or physical spaces do you want to use to learn? Examples  www.linkedin.com  www.skype.com  www.twitter.com  www.viber.com  www.whatsapp.com  www.wechat.com  A place where you are not distracted.

The best way that a mentor can create a strong relationship with a young person is through chat.13

“Without someone looking at them, they feel freer to express themselves and less concerned about criticism.”14

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-OMF7e5CVc&feature=youtu.be&t=14m27s https://hbr.org/2017/09/what-i-learned-about-coaching-after-losing-the-ability-to-speak 17


Talk with the young person about the content he or she is looking at on the Internet.15

https://pixabay.com/en/ipad-tablet-technology-touch-820272/

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-OMF7e5CVc&feature=youtu.be&t=15m35s 18


2. Additional sources of inspiration http://www.allthingsworkplace.com/2009/08/how-to-be-coachable.html http://ecorner.stanford.edu/videos/3599/A-Candid-Lesson-in-Humility http://www.edbatista.com/2018/03/karl-weick-on-renewal.html https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2467181240 https://hbr.org/2010/03/does-your-passion-match-your-a.html https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-art-of-giving-and-receiving-advice https://hbr.org/2015/02/how-great-coaches-ask-listen-and-empathize https://hbr.org/2015/02/how-to-coach-according-to-5-great-sports-coaches https://hbr.org/2015/02/millennials-want-to-be-coached-at-work https://hbr.org/2015/03/the-kind-of-homework-that-helps-coaching-stick https://hbr.org/2015/03/tips-for-coaching-someone-remotely https://hbr.org/2015/04/when-you-have-to-coach-remotely https://hbr.org/2017/01/bring-in-outside-experts-to-mentor-your-team https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/power-pay-performance-marshall-goldsmith http://marshallgoldsmith.blogspot.com/2010/11/spotting-uncoachables.html https://youtu.be/1bknGdA_xdw https://youtu.be/FYhws73vm0c

www.frankcalberg.com 19

Profile for Frank Calberg

How do you coach a person?  

Handbook with questions used to coach a person. Research included.

How do you coach a person?  

Handbook with questions used to coach a person. Research included.

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