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Lunch and Learn at the Kabbalah Centre April 30, 2013 Presented By: Ron Glantz, Esquire www.glantzlaw.com

Florida Supreme Court Certified Civil Trial Mediator


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We negotiate all the time, often times not thinking consciously about it. Flee Market Lease or Purchase Employer/Employee Spouse/Child


1.

2.

3.

It should be wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient.

It should improve or, at least, not damage the relationship between the parties.


1. 2.

3.

4.

Locked into positions. The more you clarify your position and defend it, the more committed you get. Your ego becomes identified with your position – save face. Positional bargaining strains and sometimes shutters the relationship between the parties.


SOFT v. HARD Soft emphasizes the importance of building and maintaining a relationship - usually seen among friends and families. In positional bargaining, a hard game dominates a soft one.


SOFT

HARD

Participants are friends

Participants are adversaries

Goal is agreement

Goal is victory

Make concessions to cultivate relationship

Demand concessions as a condition of relationship

Be soft on the people and the problem

Be hard on the people and the problem

Trust others

Distrust others

Change position early

Dig into your position

Make Offers

Make threats

Disclose bottom line

Mislead bottom line

Accept one-sided losses to reach agreement

Demand one-sided gains as the price of agreement

Search for the simple answer: the one that they will accept

Search for the simple answer: the one you will accept

Insist on agreement

Insist on your position

Try to avoid a contest of will

Try to win contest of will

Yield to pressure

Apply pressure


Negotiation takes place at two levels: a. The substance b. The procedure for dealing with substance 1st negotiation is about salary or rent. 2nd negotiation is how you will negotiate the substantative question Soft Positional, Hard Positional or some other method. The 2nd negotiation, the meta game, escapes notice because it seems to occur without conscious decision


People: Separate the people from the problem. Interests: Focus on interests not positions. Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do. Criteria: Insist the result be based on some objective standard.


SOFT

HARD

PRINCIPLED

Participants are friends

Participants are adversaries

Participants are problem solvers

Goal is agreement

Goal is victory

The goal is a wise outcome reached efficiently and amicably

Make concessions to cultivate relationship

Demand concessions as a condition of relationship

Separate the people from the problem

Be soft on the people and the problem

Be hard on the people and the problem

Be soft on the people, hard on the problem

Trust others

Distrust others

Proceed independent of trust

Change position early

Dig into your position

Focus on interests, not positions

Make Offers

Make threats

Explore interests

Disclose bottom line

Mislead bottom line

Avoid having a bottom line

Accept one-sided losses to reach agreement

Demand one-sided gains as the price of agreement

Invent options for mutual gain

Search for the simple answer: the one that they will accept

Search for the simple answer: the one you will accept

Develop multiple options to choose from; decide later

Insist on agreement

Insist on your position

Insist on using objective criteria

Try to avoid a contest of will

Try to win contest of will

Try to reach a result based on standards independent of will

Yield to pressure

Apply pressure

Reason and be open to reason; yield to principle, not pressure


Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement


You knew it all the time

Learn from doing

Winning – you can get what you deserve and be decent.

Note: The material in this presentation is derived from the Harvard Law School Negotiation Project and “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher


The Art of Negotiation