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Top 5 Questions Teens Should Ask Their Gyno

May 2011

Lau nc Issu h e!

My First Time 8 Teens Tell Us Their Stories

No Pap Smears For Teens

Married in Middle School

Healthy and Fat: The Fat Nutritionist

•10 body parts you probably never knew you had • Five fun, adventerous ways to work out • Why flicking the bean is good for you 43 57899 10012288 7790

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Plus:


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35

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in this issue:

On The Cover

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The First Time (26) You only lose it once. Eight girls tell us the good, the bad, and the ugly of losing their virginity. Rules of the Game (13) What’s it mean to make it to first, second, and third base? Feeling Yourself (17) “Flicking the bean” and how it just might be good for your health!

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Happy, Healthy, and Fat (24) Michelle Allison, author of “The Fat Nutritionist,” describes her journey toward a healthy relationship with her body.

Sexual Health: Vagina Dialogues

Your Southern Cousins (14) Take a trip with us to visit your V parts down south. Where the Rubber Meets the Road (18) Take charge of your own body: use a condom, but know all your options.

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Waiting in Line for a Pap Smear (21) Twenty-one: the year of your first beer, new license, and now, first Pap smear.

Frame to Frame: Nutrition and Fitness

Get Physical (23) Tired of the old gym routine? Try one of these alternative sports and get active!

Everything Else You Need: 23

Four Weeks to Stress Free (11) Unwind but don’t unravel with these helpful tips! Married Minors (12) While you’re headed to school, some girls your age are headed down the aisle. Six Reasons to Dish it to Your Gyno (32) Consider your gynecologist a secret keeper and give her the scoop on your body.

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frame may 2011


in every issue Anything but Normal (8) { Penned: Welcome to Frame! When I Was A Teen I Wish I Knew... (9) { Contributors: Editors’ tales of when they were teens.

8

It’s May! Hello Summer (10) { Calendar: Birthdays, Music, and More. Note: Questions for Your Gyno: No Shame in Asking (32) { Doctor’s Here are five worries to take to your gynecologist. (33) { Glossary Define it Right. it Out (33) { Check Where to go for necessary resources.

32

Broken Boner (35) { Mythbusters: Get to know his other head and what goes on in his down-there area.

*Throughout the magazine you will find words highlighted in purple. Those words can be found on the glossary page in the back of every issue.

on the web...

33

Really Pregnant! { IFindWasn’t out why Gaby Rodriguez FAKED a pregnancy for seven months! Video Series: The Best Vibes Around

{ Our editors introduce you to vibrators that will keep you buzzing morning, noon, and night. Time: Birth Control Edition { Quiz You’ll read about birth control options in this issue; now take the quiz to see what choice might be best for you. Learning to Love You

{ Peggy Orenstein, author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter, gives you tips on how to love yourself. Editor’s Chatter Want to know what the Frame editors think about sugar waxing? Check out our blogs to get some insight.

{ the Conversation on our Message Boards { Join Our message boards are buzzing with girls talking about their first time. us on Twitter: @_Frame_Mag { Follow Like us on Facebook: Frame Magazine


frame Empower Every Body

Gina Colonette Magaging Editor

LaPorsha Lowry Art Director

Kayla Chagnon Senior Editor

Celeste Little Senior Editor

Special Thanks To: Mark Obbie Luis Rendon Mia Drane-Maury Jeff Passetti

There’s a wide range of “frames” out there!


Penned

Anything But Normal I

was quiet, shy, and embarrassed about my body when I was in high school. You would never catch me talking about my lower region—let alone saying the word vagina. Other girls would talk about their bodies during casual conversation at lunch, but I didn’t participate. Could they really relate to what I was going through with my body? I didn’t think I was normal. I’ve come to realize there’s no such thing as normal. We’re all different. And these differences make the issues we have as teens relatable. By junior year of high school, many of my friends were losing their virginity. I wasn’t too interested, but I did feel left out. I wish I would’ve known that though it seemed like most girls were losing their virginity around 15, the average age is actually 17 in the U.S. As I got older, I realized on my own that people have different perspectives on virginity for many reasons. Some girls worry about it for years and months while others don’t think about it at all, and some wait to be married to begin their sex lives.

Sex is all about making choices—like whether to use birth control to protect you against sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy or deciding if you want to use a lubricant to create a pleasurable experience. Educating you on how to make your choices is important to us at Frame. And we recognize something else: that developing sexually doesn’t always involve another person. Sometimes the best person to explore your sexuality with is yourself! It also doesn’t hurt to know a little bit about our male counterparts, whose bodies may be foreign to some of us. We dive into issues that may be unknown to you and we’re not afraid to answer questions that may seem icky until you learn something you really wanted to know---and needed to know. Frame magazine is about making choices that affect what’s inside and outside of your “frame.” Your body is the frame of your soul, your mind, and your health. And it’s up to you to decide what works and what doesn’t. We’re just here to help! With Love,

Gina Colonette Managing Editor

Follow me at www.twitter.com/Frame_GinaC

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Contributors’ Page When I Was a Teen I Wish I Knew... Sex was not a big deal!

I was the only judge of my body!

At 18, I was a freshman in college, and still in possession of my V-card. When it came time for me to lose my virginity, I thought, “OK, I’m finally going to see what all of this fuss is about.” I was a late bloomer compared LaPorsha Lowry to my friends who had been doing it for a while! It happened unexpectedly with a guy I was seeing for a couple of months. I felt comfortable enough with him to have sex. We did the deed in his dorm one day after my math class. The experience was far from what I had seen in the movies. It wasn’t awkward, but my reaction was, “That’s it?” All of the horror stories I heard from my friends about the pain and the blood didn’t happen to me. I wish I knew back then that sex wasn’t that big of a deal.

Masturbation was for me!

When I was 15 the only conversation surrounding masturbation concerned boys and boys only. “Diddling the skittle” was not talked about. I wish I knew masturbation was for girls too! It wasn’t until I was older that my friend demanded I go to this quaint sex shop with her and get myself a vibrator. I went, bought myself an itty-bitty “starter” vibrator, Gina Colonette and tucked it away in the back of my drawer—until one day, I got bored. I whipped it out, put it on a low speed, and the rest is history. Let’s just say my first vibrator is broken and I’ve bought two more since.

Kayla Chagnon

When I was in high school, the guys would make snide comments about my weight. They said I was lazy and didn’t play sports. In reality, I rode horses and competed on the school’s riding team. I wish I knew that it didn’t matter what the guys said—that if I was happy with myself nothing else mattered. Now I know that everyone’s “normal” is different. When I accepted that, everything changed. I am happy with the way my body looks. So the next time someone tells you you’re fat, ugly, or whatever, remember they don’t define who or what you are. You do!

It was OK to be 16 and never been kissed!

On my 15th birthday, my godmother called and asked me if I had had my first kiss. When I told her no, she said I needed to hurry up because I didn’t want to be 16 and never been kissed. I was upset and embarrassed, but I took my godmother’s words to heart. They stuck with me because, frankly, she was just repeating my own fears back to me. I thought I’d never get a boyfriend, never be kissed, and never feel what all those other girls got to feel in the movies. By the next Celeste Little year I’d taken her advice and gotten myself a boyfriend. He gave me my first kiss right outside of the girls’ bathroom in our school. It was nothing I expected it to be. I even secretly wished I waited for a better time to have that first kiss. What I wish I knew when I was 15, 16, 17, and 18 is that every girl’s “right time” is different.

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Check Us Out Online

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Visit our website Frame.com to see what’s going on today. Our editors’ each run a daily blog packed with information just for you! Gina—Real Body Talk Kayla—Chunky Girl Celeste—Do You Want to Know? LaPorsha—I Gotta Be Me

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Calendar

frame may 2011 Chris Brown turns 22

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Cinco de Mayo

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Mothers’ Day

9 10 National Chocolate Chip Day

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#TeamEdward Twilight’s Robert Pattinson’s 25th

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16 17 18

Circus Day

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Chris Colfer (Glee) is 21 today

Lady Gaga’s album Born This Way hits stores 10 frame.com May 2011

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Memorial Day

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Foreplay

This month is a tough one: studying for finals, hunting for a summer job, sweating that prom-dateand-dress-drama. Frame has done its homework on effective chilling-out strategies and picked a new one for each week. Make time to try them – you just might find a favorite new way to ditch the stress and enjoy the good things May has to offer!

Schedule Your Time

It’s Sunday night and you still haven’t started that paper that’s due Monday! We’ve all been there. This time plan ahead and make use of your planner, so you’re not stressing at the last minute.

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If stress is making life unbearable, tell someone, maybe your school counselor. He or she is there to help you, and he or she can offer advice for any situation.

Sleep Tight

A good night’s sleep is essential. So turn off the television and stop texting your friends. You’ll need your beauty rest to deal with papers and exams that require your full attention.

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Week 3

Talk it Out

Week 2

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Make Gym Class Your Friend

Admit it, gym class is better than English, but it can still be a bore. Instead of just sitting on the sidelines, try to score a goal and maybe catch the eye of that guy you’ve been checking out.

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Week 1

Mental Health Awareness Month

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Four Weeks to Stress Free

Week 4

Take Two of These… With a social studies test Monday, a Biology exam Tuesday, and two papers due by Friday, all your free time is spent cramming for the next test. Being stressed is normal, but if stress is taking over your life, you might want to check out some Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MSRB) tips. From calming techniques to meditation the program is clinically proven to reduce stress. Here are some good options: Books The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook by Dr. Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Dr. Matthew McKay Therapists have been using this book since the 1980’s to help reduce stress in their clients. And now 30 years later, it’s still popular! The book has tips on how to deal with conflict, how to keep from stressing out about the little things, and how to assert yourself so people won’t take advantage of you. The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness Skills to Help You Deal With Stress by Gina M. Biegel This book was written with teens like you in mind. It helps you define what stresses you out in your life and what your stress feels like. Then it helps you figure out what methods you can incorporate into your daily life to help reduce stress.

Movies Sometimes all you need is a good laugh! Laughing reduces stress and muscle tension and releases endorphins. Make sure your movie night includes some of these goodies: Kung Fu Panda 2—Po the panda returns having mastered Kung Fu. Now, he tries to save China from an evil peacock (yep, peacock). You’ll be laughing in no time, as Po also faces his biggest nemesis...the stairs. The movie opens May 26. Something Borrowed—Based on the best selling book, the movie begins with Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) waking up in the bed of her longtime crush, Dex. But there’s a catch. Dex is marrying Rachel’s best friend. The story is familiar, but there will be some twists that you won’t see coming. The movie opens May 6 starring John Krasinski (The Office) Kate Hudson (Bride Wars). Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides— For those who like a little action thrown in with their comedy, this is your movie! Be ready for pirates, pirates, and more pirates, when Jack Sparrow encounters the famous pirate Blackbeard. But the biggest challenge is the woman after Jack’s heart. The movie opens in 3D on May 20.

11


Foreplay Married by Middle by Kayla Chagnon

Why they do it

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When you were little you probably dreamed about your wedding to Prince (or Princess) Charming and waited for the day that he/she would sweep you off your feet. But for some girls, your age or younger, they aren’t dreaming. They are already married and it wasn’t a happy ending. One famous case was that of Nujood Ali who obtained a divorce at the age of 10, two months after she was married to a man in his 30’s. Her parents had arranged the marriage a few months earlier for $250 to help provide for their 15 other children. Ali, who moved to her husband’s village, was raped and was often beaten daily. She escaped to a county courthouse where a judge annulled her marriage. After Ali’s case made national headlines the Yemeni government changed the legal age of marriage to 18. But the government soon changed the law again and girls, as young as eight years old, are still being married in Yemen. Now human rights organizations like the International Center for Research on Women, CARE, and the Child Rights Information Network, and even the United Nations have stepped in to help educate girls and their families about the dangers of child marriage. You, too, can help to prevent girls from falling prey to child marriage and help them avoid a lifetime of abuse by supporting organizations that help young girls obtain an education and empower themselves. You still have the chance to meet and marry the person you love and you can make that happen for girls everywhere, because we should have a chance to meet our own prince or princess on your terms.

• Many of girls are married against their wills to much older men. • In many countries, child marriage is looked at as common practice.

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• Many families choose to marry their young daughters because of cultural practices, financial reasons, or the belief that it will help provide for their daughters’ futures.

Guess What?

• More than 60 million girls under the age of 18 are married. To put that in perspective, roughly 58 million is the population of California and New York combined. • 74% of girls from Niger are married before they turn 18 and 66% of girls from Bangladesh are married before 18.

12 frame.com May 2011


Foreplay On Third: Oral and Hand Exams RISKS: (Oral) Herpes Simplex 2, HIV/AIDS, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and others. REWARDS: It’s better to give then receive.

First Time: When engaging in oral sex, be sure to use protection. Though there is less of a chance of getting STDs and HIV from giving oral sex, it’s a chance nonetheless. And we’re sure the people who contract STDs and HIV from oral sex would say that protection does make a difference. As always, have a conversation with your partner. If you two can’t use your mouths for discussion, you certainly can’t use them for percussion. Every Time: Chances are, after a while, a lot of your partners won’t feel like slipping on a condom or slapping on a dental dam—the best thing we can tell you is do it. As assorted as they are, there’s no reason not to.

On Second: Right in the Kisser RISKS: Herpes Simplex 1&2 Herpes Simplex 1 is the version of herpes that causes cold sores, and it’s not considered an STD, it’s an infection. The sores that appear are generally small and on the edges of the lips or the chin. Herpes Simplex 2 is genital herpes—the sores are much more painful and happen “down there.” You can get Simplex 1 down south or Simplex 2 on your mouth, but it’s rare. Herpes is contagious whenever your partner has an outbreak and outbreaks can occur even when there are no signs, so the best way to prevent herpes is to get tested and talk about it. Kiss responsibly!! REWARDS: The always awe-inspiring double lip massage. Yeah, it feels good. First Time: RELAX. Add Chapstick, mouthwash, consideration and concern for the one you want to kiss, remove drool and enjoy. Every Time: Get your own style. Be yourself. Have fun.

Rules of the Game Baseball has always been associated with sex, so here is the breakdown of the metaphor and what it means to “run the bases.” by Celeste Little

Home: Sexual Healing RISKS: Pregnancy, STDs like Gonorrhea,

Chlamydia, Genital Warts, Herpes Simplex 2, HIV/AIDS and vaginal infections REWARDS: The possibility of orgasm, Pleasure, Love Connection First Time: Make sure you’re comfortable and ready to have sex. Have a conversation with your partner about your expectations: about being tested for STDs and HIV, the fact that you’re a virgin and what you’re comfortable with. Know what your personal values are and be willing to walk away if something this person says does not mesh well with those values. Regardless of who this person is in your life, you need to be sure that this is a person who will be considerate of you and what you want. Every Time: Use protection! Be respectful, be respected and have a conversation. Make sure both you and your partner have been tested in the last three months. There might be times when you feel like just getting into it with a new partner and saving the awkward talk, but that might be the very conversation that saves you a trip to the doctor.

On First: Bear Hugs Risks: None! Rewards: Warm and Loving Feelings, Breaking the Ice, The Power of Touch Touch can communicate important information, according to a 2010 article by the Center for Compassionate Touch. A pat on the back or embrace can actually ease stress and reduce pain. So if you want to help out that guy or girl you’ve been crushing on, why not start by offering a friendly hug? First Time: Open your arms and go all in. As nervous as you are, he’s probably more nervous. Every Time: Express yourself. It’ll get easier and easier with time. Eventually it’ll be easier than your next-door neighbor.

START HERE

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Vagina Dialogues Your Southern Cousins by Gina Colonette

No chick’s is exactly the same, but one thing most of us have in common is mistakenly calling the stuff down there the “vagina.” Take a trip with us, down south, to your own very mysterious, very exotic GENITALS.

1.

Vulva: Your vulva is the entire outer genital area; think of it as “the protector” of your sexual organs. Underneath the layers of your vulva you’ll find the urinary opening, vestibule and vagina. The vulva starts with the Mons: a rounded mound located right above your pubic bone. It’s a fat pad and covered in pubic hair.

2.

14 frame.com May 2011

Part those lips and you will find your second set of lips—the Labia Minora (Inner lips). These are the hairless lips surrounded by the labia majora. These lips can be thinner and darker in color. They can be a brownish pink, reddish pink or deep pink. Everyone’s can look totally different. Your right and left one can be different too, because one can be longer or shorter. Go figure. It also protects the urethra, vestibule and vagina. We’re better than boys—we have a spare part to keep the bathroom tidier! Without the labia minora urine would spray out all over the place and that’s not pretty.

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3.

If you sit with your legs only slightly spread apart you won’t be able to see most of what’s underneath. Blocking your view is your Labia Majora (Outer lips). Interesting fact: LM is the same as the scrotum also known as the ball sack, in boys. They’re covered in hair; the labia actually look like lips. They function as a cushion, specifically during sex.

Sweat it Out

Ther are more sweat glands in the vulva than any other part of the body.


Vagina Dialogues

4. 5.

“The Clit”: Your clitoris has one function: provide sexual sensation. It’s so little yet has so much responsibility. You can’t see it unless you lift your clitoral hood—this one is hiding and rightfully so; it’s super sensitive. Lift the hood and you will see part one of three—the glans clitoris—the quarter inch tip filled with thousands of nerve endings (hence how sensitive the clit is). Then comes the crura—the inner part of your clit and the shaft.

Moving right along into unknown territory you will find the Vestibule: this is the area between the two sides of your labia minora. This triangle-shaped part nestled between your labia minora starts at the top of the clitoris, where the frenulum (mucous membrane) is formed. It ends at the clit’s base, where the labia minora’s sides come together in the fourchette. You can think of your vestibule the same way you do the one in your house. At the entrance (upper opening) is the urethra, (urinary opening) and the bottom (finally we can use this word), is the opening of your VAGINA.

Vagina

6.

Finally we’ve made it to the vagina, what is it anyway? If you have ever described any of your other girly parts as your vagina you were wrong! The vagina is internal. It starts with the vaginal opening at the base of your vulva and ends at the cervix, which is inside. The vagina is multifunctional. It’s a passageway for sex, menstruation, and babies! The vagina contains “good bacteria” that create an acidic environment that preventing bad bacteria from entering. This is also where the speculum is inserted during pelvic exams at the gynecologist.

Each area of vulva and vagina has an individual function and can be affected by disease and illness differently. It is important to be able to identify each part correctly. If you can correctly identify different parts of your vagina and vulva you will be one step closer to getting the right treatment. Plus your doctor will be impressed!

{ { Hymen

Virginity Check, Please?

Hymen: thin mucus membrane that covers the vaginal opening. Some young women have one while others don’t. The presence or disappearance isn’t proof of virginity.

Know Thy Vulva, Love Thy Vulva

Until a few years ago I didn’t differentiate vulva from vagina,” says Joanna Szczepkowska, a junior at SUNY ESF. “I always felt really insecure about my vulva, the way it looked, because I had no idea of what the normal way is.” She Googled images and came across the genital arts gallery. Seeing the different shapes and sizes made her realize, her vulva is just as normal as anyone else’s.

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Feeling Yourself

Vagina Dialogues

We’re going to tell you about the big M, and how petting your cat regularly just might make it purr on command. by Celeste Little It’s the only word harder to utter than sex. Even though masturbation is much less of a health risk, sex gets more airtime, more attention, and frankly, more love. Chances are, your mom does it, your dad does it, your grandparents did it, and you already know your little brother does it all the time. Yes, ladies, we’re talking about masturbating. And, guess what? It’s good for you. Let us count the ways…

Discover the mysterious orgasm. (Maybe, even more than once.) Seen Skins? It’s the raunchy, new MTV series about teens who claim to be just like you. They engage in promiscuous sex, do drugs and have serious drama. We’re not encouraging any of the above, but we are pushing for the one thing that all the Skins teens seem to be doing—busting a nut. And for many women, it’s the hardest nut to crack. About 30 percent of women orgasm from sex alone, meaning that if you’re waiting on your significant other to pull some trick out of his or her pants, you might be disappointed. Don’t worry, you’re more likely to cum if you grab your own vibrating Rabbit and get to work. (Plus, masturbation is proven to improve the likelihood of reaching your peak during sex because you know your own body best!)

Masturbate today for a healthier vajayjay tomorrow. Masturbation every day will help to keep the yucky stuff away. Who knew? Masturbation is proven to prevent cervical infections and rid you of urinary tract infections--those nasty imbalances that cause burning and an urge to pee—even when you don’t actually have to. Joanne Ellison Rogers, author of Sex: A Natural History explains that when a woman masturbates, new fluids with healthy bacteria get pulled into the cervix, washing out the old fluids that may contain unhealthy organisms and the bad bacteria that cause problems.

“Hellooo Kitty!” Take you on a high and keep you there. Ever had a warm glass of milk and a cookie before bed? Put you right to sleep, huh? Yeah, masturbation can do that too. When you masturbate, the levels of the hormones dopamine and epinephrine shoot up, giving you an exciting ride back down—settling you into deep, pleasure-induced relaxation. Definitely, the best thing after a long day at school.

Fall in love with your vagina and yourself. Don’t feel pretty? Well believe us, you are. All of us are beautiful and unique and our vaginas are too. Your vagina can actually help you realize your own beauty. No really. Loving your vag can help you love yourself. Dr. Elizabeth G. Stewart and Paula Spencer authors of The V Book write that masturbation can create vaginally induced self-esteem. They say that one of the results of masturbation is a positive self-image because you’ll become comfortable with your body and sexuality. Masturbating will teach you the value of your vagina, and help you learn why having it is one of the best things about being a chick.

The Infamous Rabbit 17


Vagina Dialogues

Where the Rubber Meets the Road Don’t put all your faith in your partner’s condom. Know your birth control options – and how to take charge of your own body. by Kayla Chagnon

It’s the first rule of sex: make your partner wear his condom. They’re effective at preventing disease and pregnancy. So just use a condom and everything will be covered? Not exactly… condoms don’t always prevent STDs or pregnancy. So, it’s a good idea to use other birth control methods so that you can get it under your control. Here’s a cheat sheet to help you figure out where to start your search.

The Pill It’s an oral contraceptive, which contains the hormones estrogen and progestin. It’s pretty simple and straightforward; you take a pill each day at the same time. The pills come in a pack of 28: 21 days of hormones and seven days of sugar pills for when you get your period. Fewer Periods? Sign Me Up! Twelve periods a year can be a drag so you may like Seasonique or Lybrel. These pills will leave you with only four periods a year. You can ditch the tampons during the other eight months. Clear Skin and Protection Is acne getting in the way of you showing off your pretty face? The pill can help by reducing sebum, a naturally-occurring oil on your face. It may sound strange, but it works! Birth control is often prescribed when acne doesn’t respond to medicine. It’s not a miracle drug-- don’t be surprised if you have to wait a few months to see clearer skin. To clear up those zits, your FDA approved pills of choice are Ortho Tri-Cyclen, Estrostep, or Yaz.

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Enough with the Pills! Your notebook is full of Post-Its telling you when everything is due and even those don’t mean everything gets in on time. If that’s you, you might want to rethink the pill. It has to be taken every day around the same time or it isn’t as effective. Don’t fret. There are plenty of options that may fit your style!

18 frame.com May 2011


Vagina Dialogues The Patch OrthoEvra: This medicated patch contains 60 percent more hormones than the pill. It goes on once a week for three weeks and then stays off for a week, and like the pill you need to use it at the same time. But unlike the pill, you don’t need to worry about it every day! Intrauterine Ring NuvaRing: This easy-to-use ring releases the same amount of hormones as the pill. It’s inserted just like a tampon. Once it’s in, you can’t even feel it! You have three weeks to forget about it—then you take it out for a week and start the cycle again.

Other Safe Options for Teens You might stumble upon misinformation on the web that says IUDs and Depo-Provera aren’t for teens. Guess what? Now these are medically approved for teens. They’re long lasting forms of contraception. If used correctly they almost completely eliminate your chances of pregnancy.

The Shot Depo-Provera (Depo): This shot has gotten a bad rap, but Dr. Beth Jordan, medical director of the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals, says new studies show the shot is very effective for teens. The idea of getting a shot isn’t really appealing, but the shot lasts for three months before you need another one and if you are a few days late your chances of getting pregnant are still slim. IUDs ParaGuard and Mirena: Originally, the IUD was for women who already had children, but Jordan says there’s no reason why teens can’t use them. ParaGuard lasts 12 years and Mirena lasts five. Once the small t-shaped device is placed in your uterus, you won’t feel it and it’s literally forgettable. Jordan says many teens are choosing IUDs because of their effectiveness. If you have a change of heart, just take it out.

The Morning After Pill Plan B One-Step, Ella, and Next Choice—These can work 72 to 120 hours after you have sex. The pill keeps you from ovulating so there’s no egg for the sperm to find, therefore, no pregnancy. Most drug stores sell the pill to young women 17 or older without a prescription. It never hurts to be prepared. You can be ready ahead of time by getting the pill well in advance!

The Back-Up Plan Even when you do the right thing, something can go wrong. Last night you brought the condom for a night of fun—then it broke. Now you are freaking. Take a deep breath and remember you still have options.

And there you have it! These are just some of the birth control options you have to choose from. Just remember, it’s your choice. Do your research and talk with your doctor to decide what method is best for you. 19


Vagina Dialogues Waiting in Line For a Pap Smear Unlike before, your pap smear can wait until 21. by Gina Colonette The Pap smear. It’s not the most inviting name or procedure and from what you’ve read on the web, it’s time for you to get one, especially if you are sexually active. But that’s not true. Sexually active or not, the guidelines have changed and you need to know about them.

Q What is a Pap smear?

This test is done by a gynecologist. Your doctor will insert a speculum into your vagina. Then he or she will collect cells with a swab from your cervix, which is at the bottom end of your uterus and top of your vagina. (Check out Your Southern Cousins p. 14) Your gynecologist is checking for changes in cervial cells and sometimes HPV.

Q What’s the connection between HPV and cervical cancer?

Q Who needs to get tested? Originally, young women had their first Pap smear three years after they started having sex or by age 21. Many girls made their first appointments for Paps before age 21. Now, the guidelines state young women should start getting Pap smears at 21 and every two years after. So if you’re not 21, sit tight and breathe a sigh of relief.

Q Why Wait?

It’s natural to assume that it’s better to be safe than sorry and get tested, even if you’ve been told to wait. But there is a down side of being tested too early. Dr. Beth Rackow, assistant professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine, says

Q Still Worried?

You may dread the gown, stirrups, and speculum but going to the gyno will only benefit you in the future. If you are still worried about your first pelvic exam talk to someone you are comfortable with or talk to your doctor, he or she is there to help—really.

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HPV can be transmitted through sexual contact. Young women, ages 16-20, are affected the most. Some strains of HPV can change normal cells into cancerous cells, causing cervical cancer. The idea of having cancer at such a young age can be scary and unbelievable, but your immune system usually clears up HPV infections within two years.

young women, who received Pap smears, were being treated as adults when abnormalities were found. Early screenings can cause anxiety when there is nothing to worry about.

Don’t think you can steer clear of the gynecologist if you’re not having sex. You still need to make that appointment ASAP. By 15, you should have already made your first visit. So if you haven’t yet made that appointment, get to it. For those of you having sex, it’s important you get regular STD testing. Talking about sex and your body with your doctor can be nerve-racking. If you get to know your doctor early, it can make these conversations a lot easier. Plus your doctor will check to make sure everything is running smoothly down there, in there and all around there.

21


Frame To Frame

Get Physical If exercise sounds like a bad word, try these unusual and fun alternatives to a boring gym routine. By Kayla Chagnon

Even jocks get tired of the same old workouts. Then there are the rest of us, who don’t even step in a gym. Instead of ditching the exercise routine altogether, think about switching it up and for fitness phobes not every workout has to be done in a gym. Here are some ways to make exercise more like an adventure.

Kayaking Have some fun in the sun and get a full body workout on the water. It might look like you just use your arms, but kayaking engages your whole body. While paddling, you work your abs, arms, shoulders, back and chest. The movement starts in your feet because you need them to stabilize each stroke, so it strengthens your legs and butt. Who knew paddling is such a killer workout? • Calories burned (per hour): approx. 400 • Famous kayaker: Kate Hudson

Belly Dancing Belly dancing is a fun and sexy way to exercise. When dancing, you use muscles that you never even knew you had. Be ready to work your core. All the slow arm movements you do when shaking those hips like Shakira strengthen your arms and shoulders. Belly dancing is a good aerobic workout as well. • Calories burned (per hour): approx. 300. • Famous belly dancer: Vanessa Hudgens

Rock Climbing Face your fear of heights while shaping those muscles. Lots of gyms have climbing walls now, and it’s no wonder why. Climbing builds your arm strength and makes you more flexible as you stretch waaaaaay out for that hard-to-reach rock or peg. So strap on a harness and get climbing. And don’t worry about falling. Those mats give you a soft landing. • Calories burned (per hour): approx. 500 • Famous rock climber: Lea Michelle

Bicycling Dust off your bike and take it around your block like you did when you were a kid. And while you reminisce about the good ole days, you’ll be working out, too. You mostly use your legs to bike, but your core muscles are feeling the burn. • Calories burned (per hour): approx. 300 • Famous cyclist: Jake Gyllenhaal

Boxing Frustrated with school, your boyfriend, best friend, or your mom’s nagging? Punch those frustrations away. But boxing is about more than just punching a bag. Boxers work on footwork and defense. You strengthen your arms by punching and toning your legs when working on blocking and dodging punches. • Calories burned (per hour): approx. 400 • Famous boxer: Will Smith 23


Frame to Frame

Happy Healthy and Fat On her blog, “The Fat Nutritionist,” Michelle Allison promises to “help you get to a friendly place with food and your body.” Here’s how she did that for herself. by Kayla Chagnon When I was a teenager… I felt like I had this horrible, dark secret

about my body, like it was horribly ugly, unacceptable, and freakish. I had to keep it under wraps so as to not offend humanity.

A few years later…people were like, “Oh my God, you are really good looking.” What would have been really good to hear from people or from society is that it really doesn’t matter that much.

I wish that I would have known…that my looks and my weight didn’t have to matter, and no matter how much emphasis was placed on that I could opt out of that pressure if I wanted to.

I kind of did this on accident…I exposed myself to alternative images of beauty. I started putting up paintings on my wall from different eras that showed a whole range of different body types. I had been dieting…it didn’t work out very well. It made me hate myself and I felt like a crazy person. Then I happened to read a book about health at every size. It totally blew my mind and I thought, “Oh my God, this is what I want to do. This is what people need.” The idea that...people are being told what to do with their bodies, constantly, drives me nuts, and it just pisses me off.

It is just good to...connect and talk about this stuff and to see that there is a huge range of different body types, shapes, sizes. And that they are really all okay. Every body is acceptable.

What We Think You Need To Know About Fat Acceptance

Fat is just a three-letter word. It’s not a “bad” word. No one in the fat acceptance movement is saying that you should gain weight. They are saying you’re OK the way you are. Why? For a few reasons: They want people to know that dieting does not work and that discriminating against people because they cannot lose weight is wrong. Fat people are not gross and lazy; they are normal people. As Allison says, “Fat acceptance is really not just for fat people; it’s really for everyone, for anybody who has ever had a concern about weight, because most women have whether they are thin or fat.”

24 frame.com May 2011


The First Time

Everyone has a story. We found eight girls to tell theirs. Adults and friends want to tell you when and how to do it and how to think about it. Even the way they talk about it sounds negative: You lost your virginity. Our goal is different: to help you keep a part of yourself, even if your first time isn’t what you expected or hoped for. Or even if it hasn’t happened yet. Here, eight girls open up about their first times — the good, the bad, the profound, and the casual. Maybe you’re thinking about doing it for the first time. Maybe the deed has already been done. All we’re asking is that you pay attention to the details. It’s part of you. It’s your story. as told to Celeste Little

I lost it at 16...with no strings attached We’d been going out for about a month when I lost my virginity, but I’d been thinking about it and planning it for about two months. I didn’t want any strings attached. I saw my friends who lost their virginities to their boyfriends sticking around even when they were treated badly, and I didn’t want that. And since I thought everyone was having sex, I wanted to see what the craze was about. I knew everyone had to do it at some point, so I figured why not now? I can remember the exact moment. It was around 11:00 P.M. on February 6th. We kissed and petted as we usually did. I said, “I’m ready,” and he got up to take me home. Then I corrected him. No, I was ready to have sex. Then it happened, and I was happy. Mission accomplished. Krystal Saunderson St. Catherine, Jamaica

I lost it at 14...in the back of a taxi in Cancun

I was on a cruise with my parents and the boat docked in Cancun, Mexico. That night, I decided to go out to the clubs with a group of people from the cruise. We drank and partied for a while. I was wicked drunk, but had to be back on the boat before it sailed at midnight. I grabbed a cab with one of the guys in the group and lost my virginity to him on the way back to the boat. Before then I’d hooked up with people, (messed around, kissed, touched, etc.) but never really thought about losing my virginity. That night I didn’t intend to sleep with him; in the midst of everything it just happened. Even though it was promiscuous, it was a learning experience, and I’m glad it happened. Sex is great; but I feel like girls wait for the perfect guy and the perfect moment, and that’s unre-alistic. Sex is part of life. When girls are comfortable with who they are and ready to experience it, they should. Losing it taught me that your first time is awkward and uncomfortable. It won’t be perfect, but as long as you’re comfortable and you’re not pressured; it might as well be. Maren Janson Boston

Teen girls around the world lose their virginities at different ages. Where do you fall? Check out these statistics on the bottom of each page.


I lost it at 16...when I was raped by my boyfriend My mother had gone out to the country to visit relatives. I was home alone with my boyfriend, my younger brothers and their friends. I lost my virginity against my will. I was naive and wasn’t ready for sex. I begged my boyfriend not to have sex with me, but he was bigger and stronger than me; so he did it anyway. I was desperate for love and affection, so when he was nice or accommodating I felt closer to him. Eventually he grew on me. I put the sex out of my mind and focused on the compan-ionship I wanted so badly. But every time after the first he forced me to have sex with him again and again. I allowed it to continue because I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for myself. I’d been sexually abused by my stepfather—an issue that my mother never backed me up on—which left me scarred. At that time, I blocked out those emotions. If I could change anything, I would’ve been strong enough to stand up for myself and put an end to the manipulation. I We were having a sleepover. We made a pallet on the floor in the wouldn’t have allowed him to control me. basement and when I woke up the next morning I just knew what Lorraine Moore* to do. I rolled over and we started having sex. We’d never talked May Penn, Jamaica about it before. I didn’t even know how to have sex with a girl. All my thoughts about sex were heterosexual. I just thought about how it would hurt, and how I would surely get pregnant. (Wrong!) This was just effortless. I never obsessed, it just happened one morning after cartoons. I’d always had crushes on girls, but I thought something was wrong with me because of it. Exploring sex with a girl was part of my own sexual journey, but that’s not different than most young girls. Being homosexual is not considered normal in society. Some people say that the sex I shared with my girlfriend that morning wasn’t sex; but for me, sex is a fulfilling expression of desire. You open your body to be explored and satisfied—the same way a straight girl might with her boyfriend. Allex Kimbrough

I lost it at 14...to my girlfriend in my basement

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Rape is Never Okay

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If there is ever a situation when you feel that you’ve been forced into sex or sexual activity, let someone in your life know immediately. You may feel guilty or embarrassed, but what has been done to you is not right and you don’t deserve it! If you have been raped call 1.800.656.HOPE, a national hotline for sexual abuse. It’s free and confidential. They’re available around the clock, seven days a week.

Globally on Average—17.4

India—19.8

United States—16.9

Iceland—15.6


I’m 21...and haven’t lost it, yet People ask me all the time if I’m waiting for marriage. And the truth is, I’m not. I’ve remained a virgin for as long as I have because I’m waiting to meet a man who deserves this piece of my beauty, and I’ve yet to meet him. I’ve been in relationships where I felt sex was inevitable with a guy, but it just didn’t happen. Often either the guy wasn’t ready to take such a big step with me or he was a jerk and showed his true colors just in time. When I was younger, I felt the pressure to have sex, but the older I got the more comfortable I got with myself. I grew up celebrating Kwanzaa, and one of my favorite principles is kujichagulia or self-determination. Remaining a virgin this long means that I have grown into and remained a selfdetermined woman. My body is my own, and I’m proud to say I decide to share it when I’d like. Kaityln Gaddis New Orleans

I lost it at 15...to a boy who got me pregnant and left It was summertime and my family was out of the country on vacation. I decided to stay in L.A. that summer. I met a Belizean boy named Austin who was a year older than me. He was the most handsome guy I’ve ever dated, and I felt like if I didn’t have sex with him he wouldn’t like me. I had incredibly low selfesteem. My father and my aunt’s husband had sexually abused me, starting when I was eight and continued until I was 17, and I felt pretty worthless because of it. So when Austin pressured me I felt like it was something I had to do. One of the myths circulating around my school was that virgins couldn’t get pregnant; so we didn’t use protection. When I got pregnant Austin left me and I had an abortion. I found out that he was sleep-ing with another girl who got pregnant at the same time. He was also dating a virgin who stuck to her morals and didn’t give in to his advances. She was the one who he respected the most. He treated her much better than he treated me and the other pregnant girl. If I could change anything I would’ve gone on vacation with my family. At that time I was so concerned with being judged on if I became a teenage parent that I opted for abortion. If I could go back and I was pregnant again. I would’ve kept my child. Ann Moodie Los Angeles

{ { Sexual Self-Esteem

According to a 2010 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, sex for you is directly related to your body self-esteem and how you feel about being pleasured. Sex, or the lack of it, during your teenage years builds the foundation for how you enjoy sex for the rest of your life. Teens who are sexually active before 16 have higher body self-esteem, and are more comfortable with being pleasured. But teens who lose their virginities after 16 have a body self esteem that shoots up and continues to grow as they get older. The same thing happens to how they feel about being pleasured. So take some time to think before handing out your v-card. It doesn’t matter where you end up, but wherever it is, you have to be happy.

Germany—15.9

Israel—16.7

Italy—18

China—18.2


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Filling the Void

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There’s usually a connection between teen pregnancy and self-esteem, says Jutta Dotterwich with Act for Youth Center for Excellence at Cornell University. She says that girls who get pregnant at a young age are often the ones who are craving love and attention. Getting pregnant fills the void, giving them a sense of accomplishment.

I lost it at 18...to my boyfriend who I liked

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He was only the second boyfriend I’d ever had and we’d been dating for about two months. I felt like I was really ready to lose my virginity and I felt really comfortable with him. I felt like we both liked each other a lot. When it happened, we went to a hotel in Queens, N.Y. for the special night. There was a lot of planning and thought put into it. I planned it for about a month before it happened. I grew up in a religious environment and I’d been taught in Catholic school that I should wait for marriage or a really serious relationship (like an engagement) to lose my virginity. But what I realized is that those teachings weren’t for me. I felt my true self evolving: my own beliefs, likes, dislikes, aspirations, and goals. I began to understand what was right or wrong. It put everything into perspective. Maria Rosario* New York

Sex without Pain

Many girls don’t experience physical pleasure the first time they have sex, in fact most don’t. According to a study in the Journal of Sex Research, only 35 percent of girls experience pleasure during their first sexual experience. But not all is lost. More than half of the girls surveyed felt emotionally satisfied with the experience. And 72 percent said that they have no regrets. The point is: make sure that when you lose your virginity, it goes down how you want it to. Make it an experience to remember.

Turkey—17.8

I lost it at 16..to my much older boyfriend I’d been dating him for two years and even though I’d been really anxious to have sex; he wanted to wait until I turned 16. He was 23 and afraid that my mother would call the police if she found out. It wasn’t like what happens in the movies. There was a lot of blood and I was in incredible pain. I freaked out. But after a month of having sex, it got better. Even though it was painful I wouldn’t change a thing about it. He was the first guy I loved and he is probably still my only true love. I think when you love someone sex is better; you’re making love. You care about the other person’s pleasure. It’s not just about you getting off. I think that if I’d had sex with some random guy, it would’ve been like that-- hard, fast, and even more painful. My boyfriend was gentle which made a difference. Andrea Browne* Timisoara, Romania *These names were changed

South Africa—17.6

Singapore—18.4

Vietnam—19.7


Doctor’s Note Six Reasons to Dish to Your Gyno Secrets are shared among best friends but your gyno should be in on them too! Here’s why! by LaPorsha Lowry Mom’s been telling you to cough up the deets on what’s going on with your body and now your gyno is too. While, you may not feel the need to open up about sex to your gyno when you have your BFF on speed dial, but if you want accurate information, your doctor is the go-to gal.

1

If you don’t ask the questions you’ll never know the answers. Talking to your doctor about your vagina won’t shock her. She deals with this every day. And you’re not the only one with questions.

2

Your normal may not be the same as your friend’s normal. Talking to the BFF can be really confusing for this reason. Your doctor can help define what “normal” is for your body.

3

Your doctor can pinpoint a problem and then treat it properly. The symptoms of some STDs, like chlamydia and gonorrhea, aren’t obvious and may look normal to you. If you tell your gyno she can tell you what’s really up.

4

Practicing safe sex can be difficult without knowing all the facts. If you want birth control just tell your doctor. She’ll be able to help you figure out what options are available for you.

5

If you need an STD test, your gyno can hook you up. Your doctor is there to help, not judge. Don’t feel ashamed when trying to play it safe.

6

Worried about mom finding out? That’s not an issue. What happens in the exam room stays in the exam room, unless you decide to talk.

32 frame.com May 2011

No Shame in Asking Your privates aren’t so private that you should keep important questions to yourself. Here are five worries worth taking to your doctor. by Kayla Chagnon

Why am I PMSing so much?

If anger, depression, anxiety, or any other PMS contributors become big issues before Aunt Flo visits, your hormones could be out of whack. You might also have an underlying problem like Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, which is PMS kicked into high gear.

Why does sex hurt?

Sex should never be painful. If you’re begging for mercy every time you get it on, say something! Your discomfort could be a sign of a bigger problem like endometriosis, fibroids, a yeast infection, urinary tract infection, or something else.

Does my discharge smell funny?

If your discharge smells fishy, that’s no good. And the worst thing you can do is just assume that you have a yeast infection, says Dr. Elizabeth G. Stewart in The V Book. Self-treating can lead to more problems leaving a real infection festering for too long.

Let the doctor do the diagnosing It really itches! Is that normal?

You have an itch down there and it’s getting unbearable and embarrassing. A persistent itch need to be checked out. But an itch doesn’t always point to a yeast infection, Stewart says. You may be itching because of your clothing choice or, yes, an infection.

When should I get tested for STDs?

You and your partner should be tested before you have sex for the first time— even if you’re both virgins. Most doctors recommended you get at least one test a year. However, if you have unprotected sex, more than one partner, or any symptoms, you should be tested more often.


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Define it Right

Glossary

Four Weeks to Stress Free (11)

Endorphins: Are the body’s own painkillers produced in the brain. They can also act as sedatives.

Your Southern Cousins (14)

Speculum: An instrument inserted into the vagina to allow your doctor to do a visual examination.

Feeling Yourself (17)

Masturbation: The act of self-stimulating your genitals. Simply, it’s having sex with yourself.

Check It Out

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Clitoris: The clitoris can be found under a mini-hood of skin, it’s like a small super-sensitive penis. It’s full of nerve endings and packed with potential pleasure. G-Spot: The pleasure point said to be located on the belly-button side of the vagina, about the length of the middle finger in. However, some experts doubt its existence.

Rabbit: A well-known vibrator that pleasures the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time. Unhealthy and Healthy Vaginal Organisms: The vagina is full of healthy organisms that maintain its natural smell, texture, and the consistency of any discharge or moisture. If unhealthy ones enter you can get unpleasant vaginal infections. Clitoral and Vaginal Orgasms: A clitoral orgasm is sexual arousal caused by stimulation of that little pleasure bulb, the clitoris. Vaginal penetration and g-spot pleasuring during sex or sex play cause vaginal ones.

Waiting in Line for a Pap Smear (20)

HPV: stands for Human Papillomavirus. There are more than 100 different strains that affect different parts of your body. Your genitals can be affected by certain strains and cervical cancer is caused by some strains as well.

No Shame in Asking (32)

The Fat Nutritionist (www.thefatnutritionist.com) Michelle Allison, The Fat Nutritionist, talks about how you can create a friendly relationship between food and your body. Planned Parenthood Birth Control Options (www.plannedparenthood.com) Still wondering what birth control is right for you? Check out all the different methods here. Stress Free with Kids Health (www.kidshealth.com) Still stressing out about school? Kids Health has lots of techniques on how to keep it cool. CDC Sexual Health Facebook Resource Page (www.facebook.com) Learn more about how to stay sexually healthy from Facebook! Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality by Amy Madison A sex-positive and empowering book about sex and sexuality. Written specifically for teens! Sex: A Book for Teens: An Uncensored Guide to Your Body, Sex, and Safety by Nikol Hasler An honest and funny book on all things sexual. From sexual orientation to masturbation, questions posed by real teens are answered.

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Premenstrual Dysphonic Disorder (PMDD): Can be considered severe PMS. Common symptoms include fatigue, mood changes, irritability and abdominal bloating occurring in the days preceding your menstrual cycle. PMDD is so severe it may interfere with your ability to function.

Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross (www.dodsonandross.com) Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross educate and entertain you about sexuality, feminism, and the politics of women’s sexuality.

33


Mythbusters

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Broken Bo

His Johnson, his pecker, his wiener; there are a thousand names for the penis and a thousand rumors about how it works and what he can do with it. Here we dispel some of those penis myths with the cold hard facts. Yeah, we said hard.

! E

MYTH: A Penis is Breakable

By LaPorsha Lowry

There’s no bone in it, but you CAN break his penis! The medical term for it is a penile fracture and Dr. Drogo Montague, director of the Center for Genitourinary Reconstruction at the Cleveland Clinic, says that it can happen as a result of hard and fast thrusting during sex. The injury is rare, but when it does occur, it generally happens to younger men with harder erections in the woman-on-top position. The penis slips out, slams into the pubic bone of his still-thrusting partner, and snap! There it went! His penis turns black and blue and he’s in a lot of pain. Older men with softer more bendable erection are also susceptible to penile fractures. In order to avoid it, Montague says to be gentle with the penis during sex. If a penile fracture occurs it will send your partner to the hospital and require emergency surgery. So tell your partner to take his time, because the fastest way to broken junk is a quick pump.

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MYTH: A Circumcised Penis is Normal Male circumcision is when some or the entire foreskin is removed from the penis of a usually newborn baby. But sometimes, older children and men are circumcised, too. There are both cut and uncut penises across the globe. Montague says that it all depends on where the guy grew up and what religion he’s a member of. The procedure is much more widespread in the U.S., Canada, and the Middle East, than in Asia, South America, Central America, and most of Europe. In European countries like Italy and England, less than five percent of boys will be circumcised. When it comes to religion, the Jewish faith practices circumcision as a birthright when the baby is eight days old.

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L FA

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MYTH: A Penis Grows With Weight Loss

! ! !

If your guy recently lost a lot of weight, it may look like the picture got a bit bigger, but that’s only because his frame is smaller. No your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. Montague says that when a guy is overweight, some of his penis has retracted to inside of his body. When he loses weight, more of the penis is outside of the body; so it appears bigger. But not all doctors agree on this: Dr. Mehmet Oz from The Dr. Oz Show Show,, says the penis can actually grow at least an inch for every 35 pounds lost. Either way, it may look bigger as a guy gets smaller.

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Check out frame.com/mythbusters for more penis fact and fiction!!!!!

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