Inspirational stories about women!
October, 2013 #3
FINDING A JOB IS A JOB IN ITSELF The Sleek Lashes competition WINNER - Dina Borisova She told me I needed to get help to leave the relationship for the safety of myself and the boys!
Secrets to Happiness
Strovalde student at All Saintsâ€™
RC Secondary School
Sales Administrator at Eclisse UK
Larina has a passion about singing and very recently started to learn to play guitar. She has been studying and practicing to be a professional make-up artist and does beautiful work. Read more about Larina here: Page 4
Diana is originally from Latvia. She is a busy mum to 3 wonderful children and works as a sales administrator at Eclisse UK. Read more about Diana on here: Page 64
Owner of Tattoo salon Lucky 7 tattoos Honey B is from Mansfield and at the moment runs her own Tattoo salon there. Read more about Honey B here: Page 40
creative cake Lady from Mansfield
Ina has a passion about baking cakes. She serves her local community in Nottinghamshire. Read more about Ina on a page 46 Cover photo by Joel Oged Make up by NJ, Hairstyle by Ewelina Omachel-Dziedzic
My lovely ladies! Another month has gone by and we are one step further on our journey. The autumn is taking over England and all over the world. The mornings are getting chilly and there is no more late night sitting out in my garden. As my favourite season is summer, I feel a bit sad that it is coming to an end. But I am definitely looking forward to the upcoming Halloween festivities and the little celebration that it brings this month. The For Any Woman team has been
This is only the third month of this magazineâ€™s life and we have already reached 20,000 views! We are so thankful for your trust and interest in this magazine, you, dear readers, are making it blossom into something wonderful.
working all September with passion to put together another wonderful issue for you. I am so thankful to my team for such a great job they have been doing. Their creativity and passion is alive and shows in this adventure. This month we have met another 4 wonderful females with some very inspirational stories and we are excited for you to read everything about them. Hopefully, you will feel inspired to follow your dreams as well. Also, I am looking forward to your life changing stories and want you to feel free to send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. It would make me very happy to share your story with our readers.
a hobby and I can say I finally know how that feels. I wake up every morning and I think about positive, inspiring things that will help me make changes in my life and also how to share these ideas with all of you, my lovely readers.
Creating this magazine has been such Thank you for being with us and speak a life changing experience for myself. to you soon! I have found this project very inspirational. I always wanted to have a job With love, that I enjoyed so much that it felt like Datsa xxx foranywoman.com
Author: Datsa Gaile Let’s meet one of our cover girls this month. Larina (14) was invited to be on our magazine cover together with her mum, Ina. Larina studies at All Saints’ RC Secondary School and is very passionate about music. She plays a couple of musical instruments and she wishes to sing in a band to further develop her hobby and eventually create a band to fulfil her desire to sing. FAW: As we know you love music. When did you start to sing?
Larina: I’ve been singing since I first began music school at the age of 5. I remember seeing loads of older children and being fairly frightened, but I guess I went along with it for the year that I went. Shortly after starting, I had
Interview with Larina Strovalde to move to England with my family. A few years after the move, I began singing and doing short plays in the Latvian community here in Mansfield. I have quite a lot of experience in music and performing for a 14 year, but I know there’s still a long way to go.
FAW: Do you play any music instruments?
Larina: I play a few, but fairly vaguely. I used to play a bit of piano, violin, and the flute. Now I occasionally teach myself a song or two on the guitar, which I’m unfortunately not so good at.
FAW: What would be your dream? Where would you like to sing?
Larina: I get very nervous while on stage, so I wouldn’t like to perform in front of more than 600, I guess, unless I got over my mild stage fright. I’d love to be heard live on the radio or something along those lines. Since I invest a lot of my time singing and performing, I’d also like to sing in a band, preferably for small audiences, just so I know that all this hard work has paid off.
FAW: Have you been thinking about going on some reforanywoman.com
“I’d rather focus on my studies for now’’
ality shows like the X-Factor or Britain’s Got Talent?
that long. I’m already doing different makeup looks on friends and family for events and outings and taking pictures to start up a portfolio which I hope will come in handy someday.
Larina: I have thought about and many people are encouraging me, but I’d rather focus on my studies for now. This way, I know that I will have a firm ground to fall back on just in case I do want to take up FAW: If you have to choose something more risky in the fu- between the two, what would ture. you choose for your future:
FAW: You also like to learn and do makeup? How did you start that? What was your first step?
singing or being a make-up specialist?
and is scared to sing in front of a large number of people. I know it is very difficult to weave your way into being a singer, and so, since there is more than a 1 in a million chance, I’d go for being a makeup specialist.
FAW: You are a young and inspirational lady. What would you like to say our FAW readers?
Larina: I think a makeup specialist. Larina: Since I’m probably a lot Simply because to get in the music younger than most of the readindustry, you need to be some- ers, I don’t really have as much Larina: I’ve always been interested thing truly special, not some girl experience in life. But, I guess, evin makeup, art, fashion, the lot. I who sometimes goes out of tune eryone needs to remember that guess it all started out when I even though life is short, there is stumbled upon all these beautiful a lot of time. And if you don’t know girls doing tutorials on YouTube. I what you’re doing, just wait. The then started to use what supply time will come for it. It’s also good of makeup I had, and tried it out to remember that whatever hapon my friends and myself. I’ve impens is meant to be, whether it proved a lot considering that I’ve is positive or negative, everything not been wearing make-up for will be okay in the end. ////
Oils vs. Serums for Gorgeous Hair… texture. It is no wonder that women usually become inseparable with oil products after their first trial. Until now, serums used to draw all the attention. However, oils came to the game determined to win. To help you with your choice it would be best for you Ladies to be informed of the differences in the benefits each one offers. What most ladies know about serum is that it is a hair care solution which makes the hair shiny, less frizzy, and prevents tangling. It is also known for protecting the hair from damage caused by forceHair oil is the latest novelty in hair care ful brushing, use of chemical treatments, products. Hair oils are increasingly gain- prolonged exposure in the sun, and last ing popularity in a woman’s “hair routine” but not least, the effects of heated styling as they are designed for multiple uses. equipment. They can be used as a leave-in-conditioner, a static controller, or a heat pro- A little bottle of serum is present in altectant. They soothe and hydrate dry hair. most every woman’s bag. Why? Because They can also improve the look of hair by my Ladies, you trust the benefits of it. camouflaging split ends, reducing frizzi- But have you ever really wondered for a ness, and polishing and reviving dull hair second how serum works? Well, a good ////
way to describe it is that serum is like a “Botox” for the hair. Serums are usually silicon based; an ingredient that contributes to the treatment and sealing of the hair cuticles (the outer layer of the hair shaft). Well-conditioned cuticles lets the hair reflect more light and shine within only seconds, plus it makes the hair look healthier and much more manageable. On the contrary, oils approach hair treat-
and The Winner Is…? ment in a totally different way. Whether Argan, Diamond, Almond or Macadamia, oil has a totally different molecular composition than serum. Some oils consist of silicone in their ingredients and some others don’t. In both cases, their unique, high-tech formula makes it lighter as a product and thus more easily absorbed by the inner layers of the hair. Therefore, oils can reconstruct, and at the same time, protect the hair with more lasting results. Oils’ clever consistency will not weigh down your hair if not necessary. Some brands offer even a range of oils to suit different hair types, from thin to coloured or damaged. Yes, oils are lighter products in terms of their formula, but this doesn’t mean in any way that you should use the whole bottle at once! Here applies the rule “Less is More”!
Know-how: For shoulder length hair, place a couple of drops in your palms, rub it swiftly and apply the product on your hair evenly, starting from the mid lengths towards the ends. You can use oil on very damp hair as a pre-styler, treatment and protectant, or on dry hair after you have finished with styling to add more shine and polished texture.
you empty half of the bottle on your hair. Unfortunately by the time you realize it, the charming prince is ringing the doorbell! No worries my Ladies! There are various hair powder products that can be a life saver in moments of despair. Just spread some powder over the head and let it do the job. The powder will float down on the hair and the hair will fluff up again!
Tip: Oils and serums are not products to be used for any treatment of scalp disorder. While applying oil, try to refrain from going close to the scalp, unless the product you use is also suitable for scalp application, and your scalp is dry and in need of treatment. If you go overboard applying oil to the hair, your hair might look a bit greasy or flatter than what you wanted.
Please feel free to contact me for more advice and info on products at http://www.facebook.com/ HairEverAfterUK Regards,
Imagine getting ready for a first date and in your effort to slightly alter the hair texture or add more shine to look fabulous, foranywoman.com
Photographer: Evita Jansone
Keep Your Long Term Relationship Sizzling 12 ////
Author: Amy Coleman
When you and your man decided to be with each other for the long run or forever, you were so in love and full of passion, you thought it would never fade. Marriage or no marriage, you were in the “honeymoon stage” of your relationship. Months or years go by and the two of you get used to having each other around, take each other for granted, and stand by watching as the ﬂame of your love slowly fades. It doesn’t have to happen like that! Everyone can enjoy a long-term relationship that sizzles for a lifetime with just a little work.
out the window and replaced with negative feelings of resentment and anger. The first step to dealing with all conflict in your relationship is to acknowledge that you are two different people with different emotions, interests, Conﬂict and personalities. The sooner you When not handled correctly, con- have this talk, the better. flict can be deadly to a relationship. Passion and desire and thrown You will disagree with each other,
but it doesn’t have to always get ugly. Differences are necessary. If you both had the same emotions, opinions, interests, and personalities how boring would you be? It would be like you married yourself! Variety is the spice of life, so embrace your differences. Notice each other’s strengths and weaknesses so that one of you can pick up where the other falls short. Be a team.
Both of you should share your feelings honestly and share often. Holding feelings inside only leads to resentment and hostility. Nothing is ever resolved, but buried deep down until the next conflict causes it to explode. Both of you should share your feelings with each other and be respectful of the other person’s feelings while doing it. Remember, you are sharforanywoman.com
“Don’t assume that your feelings won’t be “xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx’’ understood or your thoughts won’t make sense to the other person.”
ing for growth and connection, not to hurt the other person and cause damage to the relationship. Don’t assume that your feelings won’t be understood or your thoughts won’t make sense to the other person. Give him a chance to understand you, ladies. It is easy to sit back and make the excuse that you won’t be understood so that you don’t have to feel vulnerable and expose yourself, but this simply doesn’t work in a long-term relationship. The more each of you share your thoughts and feelings, the more you will learn about each other and the more connected you become. A deeper connection and understanding leads to a stronger, more meaningful love.
Give each other space to explore your own interests. Everything 14 ////
doesn’t have to be a couple’s activity. You should each have your own interests, hobbies, and activities that you enjoy so that you can have time outside of the relationship to have fun with friends or enjoy some alone time. This time spent apart will keep you from feeling trapped in the relationship and give you some time to miss the other person. It is not difficult to keep the flame burning in your long-term relationship as long as you both recognize that it takes work and you both are willing to commit to making it happen. Remember, nothing says that you have to love each other. It is a decision that you both make each and every day, even if you don’t realise it. So decide to love each other and have a passionate relationship. It is possible with a little effort.
How can I save my relationship and is it worth
Author: Solvita Bennett
Dear Friend, … A relationship is not an exact and factual science and so it is really hard to know what the exact answer can be to any given situation. There are however many ways to heal it or let it go with increased inner peace. Any relationships is of a magnificent value to us, as we learn immensely from them and so grow; evolve in the fastest way possible as human beings. It is much easier to be on your own than with somebody else. To find the harmony and balance within a relationship despite the ups and downs is a real art. You know this well by trying to find the everyday balance within yourself, especially in times when life throws unexpected tests and trials.
How can I save my relationship and is it worth it? To become more loving, sharing, understanding and kind despite annoying everyday habits of your partner is something that teaches us what an unconditional love is all about. However to achieve unconditional love within a relationship is the hardest possible task of all. We don’t just get involved in a relationship by an accident. There is always a greater purpose. Sometimes we have to go through a painful relationship, to learn and understand what we are made of. To get clear who we are and who we are not, what we want and what we don’t. How can you be loving and kind, when your partner is something else? Well often we project our deepest fears outside. People know through intuition what we are thinking and feeling about them. We think our
feelings and thoughts are safe and private, well not exactly. When you are with your partner and feel resentment, your partner will feel it and so will respond with resentment too. So to save a relationship is more about you than about the other person. Other people know (intuition) your feelings about them; can you imagine how much your partner intuits your feelings about them?
What is the best way to save a relationship?
Increase your awareness. By becoming aware of your own thoughts and feelings, you are able to make a change about them within yourself. We often do the other way around. We wait for the partner to change and yet keep the same foranywoman.com
â€œIt is not about changing the partner; it is about the change in you.â€?
poisonous thoughts about them going through or mind. This is what normally breaks up any relationship that could be saved.
Is it possible to change the way my partner is treating me?
It is not about changing the partner; it is about the change in you. When you change, your partner naturally changes with you. Inner work is the bases of all that you are. Healthy self-esteem is what makes relationship work. When you become a better version of your former self, your partner will feel it and so the attitude will change.
How to make my partner love me?
It is very hard to have a loving relationship, when we are waiting for a love from outside. We have to become that what we are wait20 ////
How can I save my relationship and is it worth it? ing for. By doing the best and becoming forgiving, loving, kind, nurturing, supportive to ourselves, we are able to do the same to others. Lovingness is a way of being and not something that can be taught. How loving can you be? Unconditional Love is the highest healing energy and it can heal any relationship. It can heal you, your partner and lift up everyone around you.
How can I trust my partner again?
Forgiveness is a huge step in any relationship. Often we cling to some past errors and so make our partners feel guilty, ashamed, full of regret. We are not angels or we wouldnâ€™t be on this planet, so there is something with every one of us that needs to be healed and purified through this lifetime. Learning this healing is something that we always need to do within ourselves
first and then look outside to heal others. Learning to love ourselves unconditionally, despite of all the past errors we have made so far is often far from reach for many of us. However through awareness and effort we can do it. Give your relationship a chance by becoming this wonderful loving, kind, and forgiving, nurturing, supporting person for at least 90 days. This will definitely make an impact on you, your partner and your relationship. After all it is your ultimate choice and preference to be in a relationship or not. You deserve an amazingly loving relationship, and never settle for less.
Letâ€™s do this together! foranywoman.com
Reduce Stress and Feel Better Today
Author: Amy Coleman
We all have it and wish we had less of it. It seems to be unavoidable and often times uncontrollable. What is this harmful thing? Stress! Most of us suffer from stress and its side effects on a daily basis and simply do not know what to do to reduce the stress in our lives. Many treatments are meant for long term, such as therapy or medication. But what about right now? Right now- while you are facing an impossible deadline, your relationship is in a crisis, or your children are making you want to pull your hair out. What can you do?
These tips will help you reduce your stress levels right now.
Progressive Relaxation: Tense
up each muscle group in your body and then release it. Do this one group at a time. This will help you relax your entire body, which should help you relax your mind.
Yoga: Yoga combines relaxing
breathing and poses that require
focusing. After a little time spent doing yoga, you will notice that your brain isnâ€™t thinking about what was stressing you before you started your yoga routine.
Aromatherapy: Scents like lav-
ender and chamomile are both calming and can help reduce stress. You can use essential oils, lotions, candles, or your favorite bath products. If lavender isnâ€™t relaxing and pleasing to you, choose a different scent. foranywoman.com
“Reducing your stress will improve your health and your mood, which will surely make for more pleasant days.’’
Tea: Black tea helps lower cortisol levels caused by stress and create feelings of relaxation.
laxes you, such as classical music, will help your entire body feel at ease.
Deep Breathing: Deep breath-
ing can reduce cortisol levels that will lower stress and anxiety. For some, taking a deep breath will actually lower blood pressure temporarily.
Laughter reduces the effects of
stress such as fatigue and stiffness.
Sleep: Taking a nap can lower cortisol levels and help you feel refreshed when you wake up.
Music: Your favourite music can
take your mind off of your troubles and reduce stress. Music that re24 ////
Try these methods out and find out what works for you and what doesn’t. You can create a stress reducing routine when you start to feel overwhelmed and stressed so that the physical effects of stress are eliminated before then can begin. Reducing your stress will improve your health and your mood, which will surely make for more pleasant days.
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The Stories Behind Halloween
Author: Amy Coleman
Have you ever wondered if there is meaning behind carving a pumpkin to make a jack-o-latern? Maybe you are curious why everyone is supposed to dress up for Halloween? Most of us enjoy Halloween and all of the traditions that it brings along, but not many know the meaning or purpose behind the traditions. Jack-o-latern
Pumpkins are hollowed out and faces are carved on them. The faces can be funny, spooky, or just “normal.” It is becoming more popular to carve the pumpkins with initials or other designs to make them more visually appealing.
Jack-o-laterns come from an Irish legend about a man called “Stingy Jack.” Jack had a drink with the devil and tricked him to change himself into a coin to pay for the drinks. The devil did so, but Jack didn’t pay for the drinks, he put the devil coin in his pocket with a silver cross and trapped the devil in his coin form until he promised to leave Jack alone for an entire year and not claim his soul when he died.
devil had agreed not to claim his soul and was still upset from all the tricks, so Jack wasn’t allowed in hell either. The devil sent Jack away with a single burning coal to light his path. He has roamed the Earth ever since referred to the Irish as “Jack of the Latern” which was later shortened to “Jack O’Latern.”
A year later, Jack tricked the devil to climb a tree. With the devil in the tree picking fruit, Jack carved a cross into the bark on the tree’s trunk so that the devil was trapped. Once the devil agreed to leave Jack alone for ten more years, Jack let him down. When Jack died, God wouldn’t allow him into heaven and the foranywoman.com
Photo: Ilze Brilta Make up: Arta Brilta Model: Karsten Ajedakor
“The Celts and other early people to scare evil spirits away used bonfires.’’
People in Ireland and Scotland made their own versions of Jack’s latern. They carved spooky faces into potatoes or turnips and put them in their windows and doors to scare away evil spirits and Stingy Jack. England used large beets. Immigrants took the tradition to the United States where the pumpkin, a fruit native to America, was used.
The Celts and other early people to scare evil spirits away used bonfires. Some jumped over the fire for good luck. We still have bonfires today, but they are not
limited just to Halloween. On Halloween, the main source of fire used is candles. Candles are lit and put in jack-o-laterns and other decorations and are supposed to scare ghosts and witches.
The European and Celtic people believe that on Halloween day, ghosts could come back to Earth. These people believe that if they left their homes, ghost of people who they were related to or others that would recognize them. To prevent this recognition, people wore masks to make them look like spirits. Now you know the purpose of these fun traditions that make Halloween what it is today. When you are carving your jack-o-latern
this season, you can laugh at the legend of “Stingy Jack” and share it with your family. These are just a few popular Halloween traditions that have been around for many, many years. Do you have any traditions in your family that have a fun story behind them? We would love to hear them!
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Primitive Halloween Superstitions for Females Halloween is centered around superstitions, traditions, and honoring the dead. Females had a few superstitions and things that they did that they thought could predict their future.
able to retrieve an apple while hands behind their back and were bobbing for apples indicated that supposed to dream of the man you would have a happy and ro- they would marry or a coffin. mantic marriage.
Single girls ate salt before bed and were said to dream of their future husband giving them water.
Apples were peeled so that the peeling stayed in one long piece. Bobbing for Apples The peeling was then thrown over While not gender specific, bobbing the shoulder. The letter that it rep- Mirrors for apples dates way back. The resented was said to be the initial It was believed that if you ate an size of the apple that you could of the one you would marry. apple or held a candle while looking in the mirror, the man you The Mash of Nine Sorts would marry would appear over Single girls would create a mash your shoulder. that was made up of vegetables, milk, and salt. A ring was hidden So, ladies, do you believe in any of inside. Whoever found the ring these fun superstitions? Will you was said to be the first to get mar- and your girlfriends be trying any ried. of these on Halloween this year? Perhaps you have others to add hold between your teeth was said Cake Baking that aren’t on this list? to represent how much luck you Single girls also baked cakes with would have in the coming year. nine ingredients. The girls would Halloween nails by It was also suggested that being walk backwards to bed with their www.margaritabelska.com 32 ////
FINDING A JOB IS A JOB IN ITSELF 34 ////
Author: Ilze Baiza Whether you are unemployed and looking for a job or just fancy a change in your daily routine, be prepared to work hard for the success! The job seeking process takes an enormous amount of effort and energy. Treating your search as a full time job itself will lead you to the result you want. Be prepared to spend at least 8 hours a day, 5 to 6 days a week sitting by the computer and preparing/updating CV, writing dozens of covering letters, and looking for advertised vacancies.
cret for achieving any goal in your life. This secret isnâ€™t really a secret, But, before you even start anything, but rather an old, all-known truth. it is important to know the key se- This secret, this magic of your own
is your attitude! You must really want to work, before even bothering to look for a job! If a career as a jobseekerâ€™s allowance receiver foranywoman.com
“Treating your search as a full time job itself will lead you to the result you want.’’
for the rest of your live doesn’t appeal to you and looking for a job isn’t just an excuse, than you are ready to move on to the next step, which is preparing CV.
spending too much time prepar- job search. There are plenty of oping it. The more professional your tions available to look for the vaCV looks, the better your chances cancies and again, it is important are of getting a job! not to get confused, but start step by step. Once you have finished the prePreparation of your CV, in today’s cious overview of your professionera of electronics and comput- al experience and qualifications, you can actually start looking for advertised vacancies. This can take up days, weeks and even months. First, you need to make sure that you know what kind of job you desire, even before you are start writing your CV, but it becomes more important when you begin the actual search. A clear definition of what you are lookers has never been more impor- ing for will help to recognise and tant than it is now. This applies to find the right recruitment ageneverybody. Even those who are cies and specific professional net- If you are looking for factory or looking for work in fruit picking works and give your job seeking warehouse work or even farms or farming. Your CV is your visit process a meaning. It also helps to jobs, you can simplify your search card and your gateway to a future, single out most suitable vacancies by dropping your CV at the lotherefore don’t criticise yourself for for you when using online tools for cal recruitment agency. They are 36 ////
‘Finding a job is a job in itself’ working to help you and if you are really lucky they might offer you a job straight away. Although this might be the easiest option, it is not always the best, as agency jobs are often low paid. Sometimes it is worth it to put in extra effort while looking for a job and get a contract directly with employer without involving the middleman. On the other hand, a work from an agency might be your foot in the door and can sometimes lead to direct employment. If you are looking for a more specific or graduate job, you can also go to an agency that specialises in finding jobs within your area. However, in this case you should not rely only on the agents’ professionalism and should carry out your own search while waiting on a call from the agency. foranywoman.com
‘Finding a job is a job in itself’ You can start your own by building related to your profession, as speor exploring your own network. cific job advertisements can often There are well known online plat- be found in them! forms like LinkedIn, where you can create your profile and add contacts. Social sites like LinkedIn are normally used by recruiters and HR departments to look for prospective employees. It is important to build a network as it provides different opportunities from time to time itself. Networking is about making connections and building enduring, mutually beneficial relationships, so you should not forget about your personal contacts while looking for a job. Of course, you should not underestimate online job search engines like jobcentreplus online, jobsite and many others. Those sites can give exactly what you are looking for. Additionally, it is worth looking for online sites of newspapers
apply. This just doesn’t work and gives the receiver a bad impression of you. Remember, each job is different. Even jobs with the same title have different requirements; therefore changes are necessary each time you send the cover letter out. Sometimes you only need to make small changes, but other times it is useful to re-write the whole letter. If you get invited for an interview, take some time reading about the company you are interviewing for. This always gives a good impression and shows that you are really interested in working for them.
Once you have found a vacancy for which you want to apply, don’t forget about the importance of a Believe in yourself and don’t cover letter. Yes, it takes time, but be shy to aim high, you might don’t follow the most common surprise yourself! mistake by creating a generic letter for all vacancies you wish to foranywoman.com
Author: Ilze Baiza
If you can’t change things, change yourself, or just let it go and move on.
Let’s meet Diana Diezina, another cover girl this month. Diana is a happily married woman and a wonderful mother to her 3 children. She moved to the UK from her native country, Latvia 7 years ago. Different from many other people who came to this country, Diana has established her life in the UK and calls it her home now. She has learned the language, has got a great job, and is one happy lady!
it will be important to me 5 years from now. Most of the time, the answer is no, I would not even remember this life hiccup in 5 years. That saves me a lot of worrying. If you can’t change things, change yourself, or just let it go and move on.
FAW: Since you were not married when you came to the UK, where did you get married? In the UK or Latvia? Was it a traditional Latvian wedding?
FAW: What were your emotions when you came over to the UK for the first time? Was it like you expected or was it very challenging for you?
Diana: I visited the UK for the first FAW: You are always very time 8 years ago and I loved it! Afpositive! Where do you get ter some time, I decided to join this energy? What keeps you my boyfriend (who is now my husso positive? band) in the UK. At the beginning, Diana: Going through life, it’s not it was so interesting because culalways easy to be positive, es- ture and life in the UK is differpecially if you are experiencing ent than in Latvia. We travelled Diana: We got married in the UK. downs in your life. When I have around the UK every weekend to As it was second marriage for problems, I always ask myself if see different places and explore both of us, it was small wedding foranywoman.com
“A week after the interview, I received phone call that I got the job.’’
with no traditions.
FAW: When did you arrive in UK and was it a challenge for you to start your new life in a different country?
Diana: I arrived in the UK in June of 2006. Starting life in a new country is always challenging and it wasn’t easy for me. But it was a great fun to meet different people to learn new things.
FAW: What was your first job and how did you get to work at Eclisse UK – Sliding Pocket Door Company?
Diana: As most of people from East Europe, I started my career in the UK in a factory called Moy Park. Thanks to my English language skills and computer skills, after 3 months I was promoted to a Training Administrator Assistant job at Moy Park. While I was 42 ////
If you can’t change things, change yourself, or just let it go and move on. on maternity leave with my old- can’t learn the English lan- erature and writing. I have done est daughter, Moy Park changed guage! How about you? Did a lot of courses in the UK. I just hands and made a lot people re- you speak English when you love learning new things. Recently dundant, myself included. That came to the UK? I finished a Level 2 Business and was a shock for me as I felt quite Administration course. There are safe in my position. situations in life where you may have experience, but you need I moved on and got a receptionformal proof of your skills as well. ist job at a Ramada hotel. It was very interesting, but hard as you FAW: You also are a busy have to do shifts that are not the mum of 3 children and that best hours for mothers with little is a bit of work. As we know, children. So I was still looking for you recently completed majob while I was working at Ramaternity leave and are back to da and I was invited to a job inwork now. How about your terview at Eclisse UK. A week after children? Who is going to the interview, I received phone look after them and how you call that I got the job. It is a wonwill manage to be a good derful experience to work for this Diana: In Latvia, I worked for in- mum and go to work every company and a pleasure to sell ternational company, Saybolt Lat- morning? quality products. via, and I used English every day. I Diana: I am so happy to have my had English language knowledge children! I always wanted a big FAW: As we know, many peo- when I came to UK and have im- family, probably because I was ple come to this country and proved it since then. I have ESOL the only child in family. My oldest they don’t want to or they Level 2 certificate in English lit- child, Rihards is 16 and attendforanywoman.com
“ I always wanted a big family, probably because I was the only child in family.’’
ing Priory Ruskin Academy year 11. That’s an important exam year and involves lots of studying. My middle child, Alise is 4 and she started Reception class in September, so it is important time for her and me as well. My youngest child, Alexa is 8 months and it is difficult on us both to be separated for most of the day. But as I said, I love my job and kids have to learn independence.
At the moment, my mum is helping me out with Alexa, but it will be help for just for a few months. I have a brilliant childminder, Sonia Santos, who looked after Alise and is still picking her up from school. Once my mum decides to go back to Latvia, she will look after Alexa as well. You can’t get everything done without help, but it gives you great peace of mind if you trust the person who looks after your children.
in May 2001 requires every counFAW: Is there any difference cil to have a scrutiny process in between schools and nurser- place. Scrutiny services involve ies in UK and in Latvia? at least one committee or group Diana: I think there is a big differ- made up of Councillors. Scruence mainly because there are tiny has a “watch dog” role, as it different teaching techniques. concentrates on improving the district council’s performance FAW: What is a Council Scru- by monitoring, questioning, and tiny Group? What do you do making recommendations about there? how services are provided, deciDiana: Legislation implemented sions that are made, and policies
If you can’t change things, change yourself, or just let it go and move on. that are carried out. I am part of a scrutiny group. We have monthly meetings where we discuss what needs to be improved, which policies need to be changed, etc. Then we report our findings to the Scrutiny Committee.
FAW: Do you have any hobbies?
Diana: To be completely honest, with my busy life as full time working mum of 3, I don’t have a lot spare time for hobby. I like travelling, reading books, knitting, and crocheting and will do all of it once Alexa is older and I have more me time.
FAW: What would you like to say or wish our readers?
Diana: Never give up! Always try new things because it’s better to regret something you have done than something that you haven’t. foranywoman.com
Author: Datsa Gaile
Ladies, please say hello to one of this monthâ€™s cover girls and a wonderful cake artist, Ina Strovalde. Ina lives in Mansfield with her family. She is a happily married mum of two: a 16-yearold daughter and a 4-yearold son. Ina is originally from Latvia. Recently, her fantastic cakes have made her a very popular Cake Lady in the local British community. FAW: How did get started making cakes?
Ina: I am asked this question a lot, especially when people find out that I do not have professional training. Iâ€™ve never studied formally and have never been through a decorating course. Everything that I know is self-taught or learned from experience. I
would love to take a course and learn something new, however. My experience in this spectrum was created learning from my mother, trying out new recipes that colleagues and friends have shared with me, reading cake decorating and cook books, finding some interesting ideas in magazines, taking an idea or two from a TV cooking programmes, and surfing the Internet. I enjoy using the Internet to find useful tips and interesting ideas and for sharing stories and connecting with other bakers to learn from their struggles and mistakes in cake baking.
FAW: You make nice cakes, but how about general cooking, are you a great chef in the kitchen as well? Ina: I think the judgment about
my kitchen skills should be handed over to my family and friends. I can say that I mostly enjoy catering for different family events and celebrations, but on a day-to-day basis, I donâ€™t tend to have much time for cooking. I like to surprise my friends with something new that they have never tried before or maybe a long forgotten dish. Often, my husband has to step in and make lunch or dinner. After 16 years of us living together, I have found that his cooking skills have gradually, yet greatly improved. Occasionally, my daughter also enlightens us by creating something with a different ethnic background, which I find very delightful. We tend to spend birthdays and other celebrations at home with friends and family and we all get involved in cooking, including my 4-year-old son. foranywoman.com
“Of course, it is very rewarding that people are willing to travel so many hours just to receive one of my creations for their celebrations.’’
FAW: You are originally from Latvia. Have you noticed any particular things or differences between cake making in the UK and Latvia?
few cakes are similar, with slight differences and different names. For example, Choc-hazelnut meringue cake is very similar to one of the popular Latvian cakes. But at the same time there are a lot Ina: I have been studying new rec- of differences, for example, curd ipes and have tried to bake some cheese. I still haven’t found that traditional English cakes. I have this popular Latvian desert ingrefound many similarities. Quite a dient in any of the English cake recipes.
Sometimes, I get orders from people who I don’t even know. It brings me joy to receive such positive feedback. The news spreads, even outside of Mansfield. People have come from Nottingham, Derby, Bradford, Leicester and other places to order a cake from me. Of course, it is very rewarding that people are FAW: I understand this is willing to travel so many hours more of your hobby and just to receive one of my crenot your profession. Many ations for their celebrations. No people In Mansfield know matter how cheesy it may sound, and recommend your cakes, the positive responses from my so you are successful at it. customers are always the inspiCan you tell a little bit more ration for me to carry on doing about the very beginning of what I enjoy.
cake making hobby? Was it challenging a first?
Ina: It is difficult for me to call it just a hobby due to the fact that I have put as much devotion into it 48 ////
as I would into a full time job.
My first legitimate cake was made approximately 6-7 years ago. I was already living here in England. I have to add that we decided to
‘It is difficult for me to call it just a hobby!’ move here 8 years ago and because of the move, I had to leave my university gained teaching diploma unused and adapt my lifestyle to my new surroundings. My first few cakes didn’t exactly work out. So I decided to use trial and error and made cakes for every upcoming social event possible, mixing and matching the ingredients, pans, creams, methods etc. to get hands on experience. Then, one day my friend asked me to make a cake for her work colleague. This turned out to be my first real order. At first, I was not sure if a traditional Latvian cake would take the fancy of another ethnicities’ taste buds, but my friend still persisted. So I created a fairy tale princess cake for a sweet little princess to enjoy. It was not the simplest of tasks, the cake in total took me 6 hours, but foranywoman.com
“My mother has always said, the further ahead you plan, the less attainable your dream becomes.’’
the result was definitely worth every single detail, and if ever I every second. I put a picture of disagree with something the clithe cake on the Internet and it re- ent has chosen, I just warn them ceived a lot of positive responses. of the possible outcome. With Since then, I have been making the choice of designs, I have also cakes for people from different had to make some that I particuethnic backgrounds, sometimes larly did not like, maybe the coeven with help of interpreter. lour scheme or the formation, but it’s always the client’s choice FAW: Have you ever tried to since at the end of the day, they talk your client out of what are always right. I may suggest or they want because you know adapt, but I would never persuade it isn’t going to look or taste a client to change their minds great? because if they want something, Ina: I’ve made many different they should be able to get it. cakes, some classical and some tailored to the client’s personal FAW: What do you do if the tastes. On the subject of taste, client doesn’t know exactly some people like sweet cakes, what they want? Do you ofsome like a tang of sour. Every- ten have a vision of how to body is different and I’m not one make a cake with no directo judge. tion from the client or do For every cake that is ordered, there is always a discussion about 50 ////
ple come to me, they have a vision of what they want to see as the end result or what they want on the cake. Usually, it is related with their hobbies or interests, but sometimes it depends on the theme of the celebration. you give them any sugges- I find it very difficult when a clitions? ent says ‘’I rely on your personal Ina: Most of the time when peo- taste’’ or ‘’you know best, anything
‘It is difficult for me to call it just a hobby!’ that tastes nice is good enough for me’’ or even ‘’it’s your choice.” From one perspective, you could say that I can just let my wildest fantasies take over and make something wonderful, but from the other I have to make sure that the client is satisfied with the result. I have to be able to guess what the client would like and the things that I have to avoid while making their cake.
FAW: What are your future plans and dreams?
Ina: My mother has always said, the further ahead you plan, the less attainable your dream becomes. This is why I try to avoid planning too far ahead of myself and just celebrate every little achievement as it comes. My nearest future plans include improving my cake baking skills foranywoman.com
“‘’A human thinks, a God does’’, that’s why you shouldn’t just hope and dream, but take some action to make your dreams become a reality.’’
and further work on my English. Self-improvement has always been one of my main life goals. I am currently very close to a turning point in my life, as I have recently been made redundant at a job that I spent almost 8 years of my life at and I feel that now is the time to change something. While talking about attaining dreams, my biggest one is for my children to grow up full of knowledge and respect and find the right path for their life and be happy. With regard to self-realization, one of my biggest dreams is to own a small cafe. If I had to paint a picture of that dream, it would be a little café that has a beautiful view of the sea side with a cute little rose patio and a golden sign saying ‘Amber Rose’, where I would happily spend my elderly years. 52 ////
FAW: What would you like to say to or wish for the FAW readers?
Ina: The Latvian folk have a saying: ‘’A human thinks, a God does’’, that’s why you shouldn’t just hope and dream, but take some action to make your dreams become a reality. None of us are safe from making mistakes, but these mistakes will make us stronger, smarter and better if we let them. The main thing is to never give up, to believe in yourself and to appreciate what you have. I wish these things upon every single one of you FAW readers. I wish you love, and that you are deeply loved, in my opinion, it is the best incentive in a women’s life. Love gives you power to do anything, even what you think is the impossible.
• 1 x 4kg/8lb 13oz pumpkin • 125g/4oz butter • 2 medium onions, peeled, finely chopped • 1 cinnamon stick • freshly grated nutmeg
How to find Inner Peace with Past Friendships … • salt and freshly ground black pepper • 1.7 litres/3 pints chicken stock (vegetarians may substitute vegetable stock) • 3 tablespoons sherry
The Sleek Lashes competition WINNER Dina Borisova Then I saw the competition on facebook.com, I decided to enter it just to try, even though I usually do not enter them and I have never won anything. A couple weeks passed by. It was amazing when I found out that I won it. I completely forgot about it so I was very surprised and happy then. I have had Sleek lashes done before, so I knew I had nothing to worry about. The service I was provided was excellent and my Sleek lashes are of such high quality. I absolutely love my Sleek lashes! They are a great option for women with busy lifestyles, like me, because it only takes a couple minutes for me to get ready now. Thanks a lot to ForAnyWoman and the Sleeklashes team for such a lovely experience! 54 ////
I have been a victim of physical and emotional abuse since I was a child.
Author: Rosie Loaf
My name is Rosangela but people know me as Rosie or Rosa. I am Italian and have been living in Northampton since 2004. I have been a victim of physical and emotional abuse since I was a child. The first abuser was my mother, later another member of my family started abusing me and, finally, my ex-husband. Both myself and my children have been victims of violence, abuse and controlling behaviour at the hands of my ex-husband for 12 years. I met my husband in my country of birth Italy in 1995. I was working as a Quality Control Officer and he was working on a construction site near to my offices. foranywoman.com
“The marriage was happy at first but very quickly there started to become issues with his jealously.’’
He is an Albanian national. I was a virgin and fell in love. One night he took me for a romantic meal and plied me with lots of alcohol, in the car park he wanted sex but I didn’t want it like that the first time. So he raped me there in front of other people. I felt dirty and ashamed but he said it was ok and I was just too innocent. I was blindly in love and forgave him thinking I was stupid, so in 1996 we married in a registry office and the following year we had a Church wedding.
she did not want to hear me and told me that I should try harder to make the marriage work. After my son was born we travelled to Albania to visit his family, I left my son with my mother. The trip was not a happy time whilst we were visiting one of his relatives she produced a picture of my husband standing next to a woman dressed as a bride and the picture looked as if my husband was the groom. This woman asked me if I knew who the man was in the picture, I was very confused and the language barriThe marriage was happy at first rude to me and very abusive er prevented me from asking her but very quickly there started constantly accusing me of look- more questions. I was scared to to become issues with his jeal- ing at other men when I was 6 ask my husband but on returnously. He did not like me work- months pregnant an argument ing to Italy, I approached my husing and exhibited lots of control- started and it turned violent and band about his past. He became ling behaviour. Shortly after our ended with him punching me very aggressive and told me he wedding I became pregnant and in my stomach. I went to my would not discuss anything from things started to get worse. He mother and told her what had his past and warned me never would call me names, he was happened looking for support, to bring it up again. I again sort 58 ////
Rosie’s Story support from my mother. I told her that I was being abused by my husband on a regular basis and also about the incident of the photo and asked her advice. Her response was “you’ve made your bed now lie in it”. I did as I was told and put up with the abuse. I had another child and suffered in silence. My life was becoming unbearable I was being physically and mentally abused and had no one to turn to. My mental health began to suffer to the extent I considered taking my own life I felt hopeless and unable to protect my children as the violence was now also being perpetrated against them also. My husband came to me one day and told me that we should leave Italy and emigrate to the U.K. where his some of his family were living. He foranywoman.com
“She told me I needed to get help to leave the relationship for the safety of myself and the boys!’’
promised me that things would change once we were living in the U.K. as he would be happier and more able to provide for us. I had visited the U.K. on holiday previously and I was hopeful that what he was telling me would be true so in 2004 we moved to the U.K. and found accommodation in Northampton. I very quickly realised I had made the wrong decision as my situation became worse. I was completely isolated, I could not speak English and was totally under his control and had to rely on him for everything. I had no access to money as he was in charge of all the finances. I knew I had to find a voice and quickly began to learn English. Whilst he was out at work I enrolled in an Adult Learning programme to improve my English and applied for a job at the School where he had enrolled 60 ////
the boys. I managed to secure a position as a cleaner and later as a lunchtime supervisor at the same time as studying to be a Teaching Assistant. Obtaining this job proved to be my salvation as I became friendly with my son’s teacher. Slowly I began to have the confidence to confide in her and disclosed to her everything about my home life and how unbearable it was for me and my boys. In 2008 my husband came home one day and told me he had to go away to Scotland for work and whilst he was away I took the opportunity to visit my G.P. and I told her all about the abuse. She told me I needed to get help to leave the relationship for the safety of myself and the boys and suggested I contact the Sunflower Centre. I rang my friend
and told her and she immediately offered to let me and the boys stay with her until I could find a place of my own. That day I left the house ensuring I took all my personal documents and some clothes and my friend took me to see a lady at the Sunflower Centre. I was advised to go into Refuge, but my friend insisted I stay with her until I could find my own
Rosieâ€™s Story place. If I hadnâ€™t had her support I would definitely gone into refuge to be safe. I rang my mother in Italy and told her the situation and that I had no intention of being in that relationship anymore. She rang my husband and told him that I was homeless and he should leave the home and allow me to live there with the children. Surprisingly he agreed and he moved out. I moved back in and changed the locks. The Sunflower Centre arranged for target hardening for the property. However, the Police were continually attending the property because he would turn up and start threatening and harassing me and causing damage to my car or the property. He drove headlong into our car when I was driving and the children were in the car. This went on for three years with many reports to the police. foranywoman.com
â€œI am finally free from domestic abuse and I can see positive changes for myself and my boys enough!â€™â€™
I came to Nene Valley about a year ago and in that time I have had support to help my family heal. My children understandably were very anxious and upset by all the events happening around them and as a consequence their behaviour became very disturbing and my eldest son when he was 11 he starting acting violently towards me. He took a knife to my throat. I knew I would have no peace in that house so I decided to flee to a property where he would not know where I was. I found a property and moved out. I find it so hard to understand that women and children must keep fleeing their homes and losing their family and friends, while perpetrators of violence can remain in the community, but this 62 ////
seems to be the only way to keep safe. I went to see a Solicitor and started Divorce proceedings and at the same time my husband was served with a non molestation order. I have attended the Freedom programme and then the Stay Free programme at Nene Valley. Whilst attending the Freedom programme I learnt about the Help Me Stay Safe programme aimed specifically for children and my son also attended that. My children and I were referred to the DART (Domestic Abuse Recovering Together) programme for family therapeutic work. Nene Valley run course this with the NSPCC.
Rosieâ€™s Story Both my sons were given one to one counselling from the NSPCC and we had family groupwork. This changed our lives and enabled my eldest son to lay down all his fears and aggression. He is no longer a threat to me or anyone. I was also had 1:1 counselling to help me deal with my fears and my past.
I am very concerned that it feels as if there needs to be a very serious incident or worse before the law will take domestic abuse seriously, and I want to help prevent the fear and abuse I have suffered happening to anyone else.
At last, thanks to the all support I have received I am After a full assessment, the finally free from domestic courts have at last prevented my abuse and I can see positive ex husband from seeing the chil- changes for myself and my dren and despite him trying take boys enough to enable me them away twice since then, the to contribute and give back children felt able to tell him to hence I have become chair leave them alone and they called of N.V.C.F.R. Service Users for help. We are now free from Forum to raise awareness him emotionally and physically, and funds to improve the and the children are settled for plight of victims of Domesthe first time. I have had support tic Abuse. to continue in court in order to keep my children safe, when I felt like giving up.
Author: Jessica Evans
‘They are more comfortable getting tattooed by a woman instead of a man. ‘
Honey B is our last cover girl this month. She is a reputable tattoo artist with her own tattoo shop and is known all over Nottinghamshire for her lovely tattoos.
calling me by my name. The B just stands for Bradley.
H: Tattooing is a very territorial industry. It was very stressful setting up at first, but I just decided that FAW: Today you have a well- if I didn’t do it now, I would never established business. Many do it. So with that, my partner and people In Mansfield know I decided to find a shop that was and recommend your salon. available and set up. Once the FAW: How did you start tat- Can you tell a little bit more local council official from the entooing and when did you de- about the very beginning of vironmental health came and incide that you wanted to be- your salon? Was it challeng- spected the shop we were able to come your own boss? ing a first? open and start trading. HB: I have been tattooing now for ten years. I have always been into FAW: You serve many differart. I am dyslexic, so I wasn’t really ent people. What have you good at academics, so I pursued noticed about the women my love for art instead. I have alwho come to your shop for ways wanted to work for myself. tattoos? H: I have a wide range of people FAW: Everyone in your town who come to my shop. Tattoos calls you Honey B, but what are becoming more acceptable in is your real name? Why do the working environment, so they people call you Honey B? aren’t as limited as they once were. H: My actual name is Denise BradI have women come to my shop ley. Back home, people always refrom the ages of 18 all the way to ferred to me as honey instead of 75. Some come for their first tatforanywoman.com
“I am dyslexic, so I wasn’t really good at academics, so I pursued my love for art instead.’’
too while others come and continue carrying on having tattoos.
FAW: Have you ever tried to talk your client out of a tattoo that you know will not look great?
H: Yes, I’ve had to advise a few people who have visited my shop and want me to create a tattoo that is really tiny. That is just not a good idea because after time passes, it won’t look like what it’s meant to be. Generally, people just come in with ideas and let us have free range to design what they want. We create a design from their ideas and it turns out to be a great tattoo.
FAW: What do you do when a customer comes in and doesn’t know what she wants? Do you have a vision for the customer of what tat66 ////
‘They are more comfortable getting tattooed by a woman instead of a man. ‘ too would suit her best?
H: It’s all down to personal preference really. To get an idea of what they want is the best option. If someone comes in and isn’t sure what they want, we can pitch a few ideas to them and if they like any of them we run with that. If they still aren’t sure, we normally ask them take some time and think about it some more as we don’t want them to put something on their bodies and regret it later.
FAW: What has been your hardest type of tattoo or type of customer to deal with?
perfect every time.
FAW: At what age can people get a tattoo? Do they need permission from their parent or guardian?
FAW: Do you have any suggestions for FAW readers?
H: The minimum age for anyone to have a tattoo is 18. They don’t need parents permission as they are classed as self consenting adults.
FAW: What are your future plans and dreams?
H: I would like to open other shops and have other women tattoo artists working for me. Many clients, H: Portraits are usually the hard- not just women, but men as well est work due to the realism that say that they are more comfortis required and it has to be spot able getting tattooed by a woman on. I have to have a lot of patience instead of a man. Women tattoo with people because a tattoo is on artists are becoming more popuyou for the rest of your life so it is lar so I’d like to carry that on and understandable that some people get more women into the profesare a little bit picky as it has to be sional industry.
H: If you have dreams and aspirations, don’t let anyone stop you. I nearly did, but I decided to go for it and now, I am approaching the second year anniversary of my business opening I’m known and recommended all over Nottinghamshire, so it goes to show you that you can do anything if you really want it. foranywoman.com
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DesignED by GRAPHIC DESIGNER Ervins Ellins Contact me: firstname.lastname@example.org | www.freakart.lv 68 ////
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