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By Daria James

Hit me back, just to chat, sincerely yours Hello there, just wanted to let you know I am writing you a love letter, yes, a love letter. I know this is the 21st Century that is why I am writing it on a laptop. I can change the settings and make it look like a typewriter if you’d like. It’s a nifty feature Steve Jobs left behind. I can also make it cursive but that would be overkill, and perhaps add a cheesy factor I am trying to avoid. Like the swamp in the Never Ending Story, poor Atreyu, why did Artax not listen? Of course, the horse factor. All I’m saying is this is a movie where they have a giant flying dog and a big bad wolf who can talk. Even the turtle has lines. But Artax talking would’ve have killed the suspense of disbelief. Many love letters were written on typewriters, many breakup letters as well, probably for churlish fools such as yourself who made fun of us lovers and our way of expressing love. What is love? Haddaway and I want to know. Perhaps we can write a sequel song and we will not be hurt no more. Oh, I wanna know.

Yes, I used a double negative, this is my story and I do what I want. Capisce? I hope you did, because that was the extend of my Italian. There are many ways to express how you feel towards another person; you let them eat the last two bites of your sammich, knowing damn well those are the best two bites of the whole sammich. Saying I love you does not really cover the feeling; it is a tired cliché. I love you should only be told to deserving desserts, any form of chocolate deliciousness, and grandma over the Holidays.

Our mouths are conducive to life. A kiss is personal. A kiss is a transfer of our essence. The summer loves us and kisses us with the sun rays, the winter loves us, and it caresses our face with its frosty breeze. Ok, I am not in love enough to write stuff like that. Mostly because the sun will shine Spring or Fall, and the Sun does whatever it wants, because we cannot control the weather. That

Children in the back seat of cars can cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat of cars can cause children.

is some Illuminati stuff. I will say that I want your face at a very close proximity to mine, I want to slide my hand down your back and touch your butt. You have a nice butt and I have soft hands, it is a win-win here. Maybe this isn’t even love, perhaps, there are people in our lives who we like to smell for no reason or share saliva with. Our mouths are conducive to life. A kiss is personal. A kiss is a transfer of our essence. We share energies and occupy the same space for a moment. Hey! who turned on the Deepak Chopra in here? Those darn commercials are getting out of hand. They spam your phone and then your mind. Although, I stand by my kiss remarks. If you do not feel anything after a kiss, one of you is doing it wrong. A kiss has the power to make you weak at the knees, take your breath away, and yet leaves you wanting more.

Your aura should be flickering like it’s the 4th of July. I do not know much about love; I think the internet and its endless window into everyone’s intimate desires has spoiled much of what some can perceive as love. “I love you, would you be doll and shove this can of soda up my butt?” Do not watch these types of movies before you form your own idea of love. I’m giving you the opportunity I never had. You cannot unsee what you see online. Remember that, no, not THAT, this: The unseeing thing. Where was I? oh yeah, the love thing. I have changed my mind, anyway, call me back when you hear this message.

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FOOLISH TIMES AUGUST 2019  

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