02 .11 .16
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FLORIDA’S #1 MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
THESTARRING SINGLE ISSUE DANNY MIAMI
GUY M A G A Z I N E EDITORIAL
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Cover Model: Danny Miami @DannyMiami_ Photographer: Rey Yero @VoiToi
Breaking & Entering Brandon Skeie
46 Sex and the
No Really. It's Not You. It's Me. 11. The Hit List 13. Say What? 14. The Cheat Sheet 16. Guy Gear: The Bachelor 18. The Style Guy: Date Night 2o. The Unofficial Hookup Survival Kit 24. Cruise Control: Hunters Mixologist Corey Affron 30. I Touch Myself 36. Parting Shots
GUY M A G A Z I N E
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING WORTH KNOWING.
PHOTO COURTESY OF BRANDON SKEIE
BY DIEGO WYATT
Beauty and the beat.
eave it to a cover of Adele’s earth-shattering single “Hello” to mark the rise of a new music star. 22-year-old singer-songwriter Brandon Skeie (pronounced SHAY-AH) has racked up close to 11 million views to date on his YouTube channel, thanks, in part, to the aforementioned viral video. Part of the openly gay musician’s draw is his undeniable charm and striking good looks. It’s what gets many people to click. The audience sticks around for his talent. His voice is characteristically commercial, but retains a sparkling soulfulness that makes him more compelling than the pop crooners currently inundating the marketplace. And he has a captive audience. Skeie’s YouTube channel is chock-full of covers of some of the most popular songs on the face of the Earth. His rise to stardom isn't unlike that of artists like Justin Bieber and Tori Kelly who did the same. He keeps things interesting by putting his own spin on tracks like Drake’s “Hotline Bling,” The Weeknd’s “Can’t Feel My Face” and Justin Bieber’s “What Do You Mean?” Skeie kicked oﬀ 2016 with the release of “So Bad,” an emotive, sweeping, piano-driven power ballad that builds to a big band sonic fanfare. You break the rules and I'm the fool/ Who wants you badly no matter what you do/ I still love you madly/ With your every move, Skeie pleads on the song. Skeie is bringing critics to their feet and skeptics to their knees by crafting carefully constructed melodies brought to life with smart lyrics. His music doesn’t need labels and Skeie doesn't rely on them.
LIST Set your pop culture aim a little higher. LISTEN. LISTEN
"FORMATION" Queen Bey is back and better than ever on this braggadocious, bassheavy dance anthem sure to start countless dance trends. Again.
GAY SKIT HAPPENS Here's the very gay answer to Saturday Night Live—a fearless and irreverent sketch comedy series unafraid to go too far
LEA DELARIA The multi-talented actress and singer is taking the stage at Parker Playhouse on February 13. Settle in and enjoy her take on Broadway classics in a show hosted by Varla Jean Merman.
“So Bad” is available for download now.
PHOTOGRAPHY: JACK FALAHEE COURTESY OF ABC; LADY GAGA, INEZ AND VINOODH; JONATHAN GROFF, AP; RUPAUL, MATHU ANDERSEN; DAVEY WAVY, RICK DAY; RIHANNA, DAVID SIMS/VOGUE
SAY WHAT? "I'm putting a cock sock on to ﬁlm a scene and all 4 of my grandparents are still alive." -Jack Falahee via Twitter @RestingPlatypus
“I have to live up to a song that stands the test of time. I think the best way to do that is kind of forget about yourself and just focus on what it means." -Lady Gaga in a pre-Super Bowl interview with the NFL’s Nate Burleson.
"3 Things: Be on time, be prepared and don’t complain.”
"What critics fail to mention is that my videos have also included, in the last year alone, 88 people who aren’t young, cis, white gay men.”
-RuPaul via Twitter @RuPaul
-Davey Wavey responding to an op-ed at HuffPost Queer Voices.
"One of the great opportunities of the show was to...illuminate male intimacy in sex that wasn't in sort of a porny, salacious way." -Jonathan Groff discussing Looking in an interview with Kevin Sessums.
“I'm single right now. I just think that I just have so much on my plate that I can’t even ﬁnd the time to entertain a steady relationship or anything serious." -Rihanna discussing relationships on Ellen.
THE CHEAT SHEET What you should be doing and where you should be doing it.
NIGHTLIFE CELEBRATE BLACK HISTORY MONTH PJ's Corner Pocket celebrates Black History Month with weeklong specials and male entertainers.
REVOLUTION AT MANOR Tommy Love headlines Saturday night at The Manor on 2/13, There's no cover before midnight.
DJ AJ REDDY AT PROGRESS BAR Turn up with DJ AJ Reddy every Saturday. There are $6 Three Olive shots and $5 Fireball shots to boot!
HAÜS SATURDAYS AT HUNTERS DJ Marco gets the party started at 9 pm with international dance music and specialty cocktail specials.
ARTS/ENTERTAINMENT BALLET FOR YOUNG PEOPLE Join Miami City Ballet for a free and interactive look at the art of ballet. 2/13 at the Arsht Center at 2 pm.
ROMANCE ROMANCE A pair of one-act musicals face oﬀ in this sexy show playing at Broward Center from 2/11 to 3/6.
STARSTRUCK Visit the Stonewall National Museum to see select work by Bob Deutsch before the exhibit closes 2/14.
COMMUNITY THE HEART DANCE Florida Youth Pride presents a night of music, dance & love on 2/12 from 6-8 pm at United Church of Christ..
MONA'S BAKE SALE Mona's is hosting a bake sale on 2/13 and 100% of the proceeds beneﬁt Florida AIDS Walk.
DOWN WITH LOVE SUNDAY FBRUARY 14 BOARDWALK Daisy Deadpetals hosts past New Meat winners who'll compete for Mr. Heart On 2016. 1721 N Andrews Ave.
FLOPPY ROOSTER Outrageous drink specials meet an all-nude weekend that will have you hot and bothered. 7020 NW 72nd Ave Miami.
MONA'S Feel the love with a V-Day gift-stacking competition from 9pm to 11pm. 502 E Sunrise Blvd.
RUMORS Kick oﬀ Valentine's Day with a bang. Rumors weekly brunch specials begin at 10am and go through 3pm. 2426 Wilton Drive.
VILLAGE PUB Life's a Drag is ushered in by the show Electra: Living the Legends, Legends starting at 9:30pm. 2283 Wilton Drive.
1 2 3 4 5
DEATH BY CHOCOLATE Enjoy a chocolatebased dessert buﬀet at the RitzCarlton on Key Biscayne on 2/14, Reservations start at 7 pm.
TWIST GETS FRESH TP Lords hosts Fresh Wednesdays at Twist each week. The show starts at 1 am with Joseﬁna La Globos in Bar5.
SUNDAY SAUCE BRUNCH Settle into R House Wynwood for an unforgettable brunch experience from 11:30 am through 4 pm.
MY RULES SATURDAYS House Nightclub hosts a weekly evening of open and unapologetic hedonism. The party starts at 11 pm.
MONTHLY SPIN JAM On 2/14 from 2pm to 6 pm, enjoy a day in Kennedy Park learning to juggle and manipulate objects.
SONOS PLAY:5 WITH TRUEPLAY
Customize your home sound system. Trueplay makes your Sonos PLAY:5 speaker even smarter. It uses your iPhone or iPad to analyze the room, then literally adjusts how each woofer and tweeter produces sound. You can now hear the music you love, custom tuned to the room where you’re listening. wwww.sonos.com $499, available at wwww.sonos.com.
Being single has its share of perks. These essentials will keep you happy and carefree.
The PS4 system focuses on the gamer, ensuring that the very best games and the most immersive experiences are possible on the platform. Not only can you space out in realistic game worlds, the extensive community allows you to connect with fellow gamers. $319.99, available at www.gamestop.com.
It is estimated that 88 percent of single gay men are actively seeking a relationship or are open to the possibility of being in a relationship.
LG 55EC9100 OLED
This 55-inch TV's picture betters that of any LCD or plasma TV, with perfect black levels and exceedingly bright whites. It's adept in bright and dark rooms and looks better from oﬀ-angle than any LED. It ensures the ultimate viewing experience. $1999.99, available at www.lg.com.
Take your networking app experience to the next level with the latest Scruﬀ upgrade. The update comes with a number of impressive features, including a new match function, GPSspeciﬁc alerts, global travel and event listings and more proﬁle options! Free, available at www.scruﬀ.com.
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The future of your love life rests on making it through the dating obstacle course. The least you can do is look the part. “Fashion is more about feel than science.” -Pharrell Williams
THE RUNDOWN 1. CARD(IGAN) GAME.
A blazer may be too formal and a tee looks like you don't care. Meet in the middle with a great cardigan that ﬁts well.
2. V FOR V-NECK.
Keep things simple by lightweight layering. V-necks show just enough skin while maintaining some mystery.
3. THE KHAKI COME UP.
Don't sacriﬁce style for comfort. Invest in modern khakis with smart details that add interest, but aren't distracting.
4. SPARKLE, NEELY, SPARKLE. If you're set on wearing jewelry, keep it simple. Avoid too much bling and rings, as they are distracting during conversation.
5. CREATIVE LOAFING.
Stay footloose with a pair of killer loafers that elevate an otherwise casual look. Go sock-less for an eﬀortless look.
FROM TOP: AEO SOUTHWESTERN CARDIGAN, $35.98; AMRICAN APPAREL V NECK, $24; ZARA SOFT BIKER TROUSERS, $79.90; ALEXANDER MCQUEEN SKULL NECKLACE, $395; BANANA REPUBLIC PAUL LOAFER, $148.
THE STYLE GUY
THE * UNOFFICIAL HOOKUP SURVIVAL KIT Stay ahead of the game with a foolproof kit to help you navigate the nightlife scene with as much grace as you can muster.
Based on market research, more specifically numerous one-night stands and walks of shame.
WORDS BY DIEGO WYATT PHOTO BY DENNIS DEAN
Sometimes the tightywhities you wore out don't make the grade. Stash some sexy undies in your bag. Even though they'll end up on the floor, stuffed in your bedfellow's mouth or caught in a ceiling fan, they are certain to set the mood for an evening 20 to rememberâ€”or forget.
At the expense of sounding like an uncomfortable middle school health instructor, let's make this one quick. If you're engaging in sexual activity, you should always be prepared. No matter what position you prefer in the bedroom, be proactive and protected.
Don't worry about running out of juice by packing a spare phone charger. It's pretty hard to make the great escape following a spine-tingling roll in the hay without enough battery life to conjure an Uber. After all, the point of hooking up is to go with the flow.
Nothing kills the vibe while you're in the throes of meaningless and/ or anonymous passion quite like bad breath. Keep some strong mints handy and use one before things get too steamy. If your bedmate needs to freshen up, feel free to use your tongue to pay it forward.
The morning after looks a lot different as seen through UV-protected eyes. Not only do they hide whatever unsightly dark circle alchemy is brewed from cheap drinks, spotty conversation and sex at 3am; they are the perfect cover as you skulk home in the wee hours of the morning.
A little kink goes a long wayâ€”especially, if you donâ€™t plan on seeing this person ever again. Toss a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold or a ball gag into your overnight bag and pick your poison. Hell, why not use them all? The bedroom is meant for adventure and we all need options. Right?
BY DIEGO WYATT
An abbreviated history of male self-pleasure.
According to the Egyptian Book of the Dead, serpent deity Atum, who contained both male and female parts, created the world without Eve by masturbating civilization into existence. As told by the text, Atum’s act of selfpleasure brought about Shu and Tefnut, the grandparents of Isis and Osiris.
Between 1743 and 1745, Robert James published A Medicinal Dictionary in which he labeled the act of masturbation “productive of most deplorable and generally incurable disorders.” James, along with many others of the time, considered it a hideous sin with a number of consequences.
French aristocrat the Marquis de Sade is often described as the fairy godfather of sadomasochism. Before being considered insane and tossed into a mental institution for 30 years, he allegedly masturbated into a chalice in front of a prostitute while antagonizing God. He is also known for masturbating crucifixes.
The Ancient Middle Eastern pagans saw mutual masturbation as a method to stimulate the coming harvest, like many civilizations throughout history. The trick was to ejaculate in unison, which was thought to summon beneficent energies from the gods of life and land.
BE FRUITFUL AND MILTIPLY.
In the ancient Middle East, the art of jelqing was pretty popular as a way to increase penis size, which was attributed to social standing. It wasn’t much more than a heavy-handed form of fluffing in which men attempted to draw blood flow away from the body and to the penis by masturbating vigorously.
(SELF) LOVE HURTS.
In Taoism, when a man pleasures himself and ejaculates, his “jing” or maleness is transformed into energy, “qi.” It is then absorbed into the spine and turned into “shen” or spiritual power. As such, masturbation with ejaculation is viewed as a weakening experience for men and orgasms sans ejaculation are preferred.
If a man living in ancient Rome desired to pleasure himself— instead of consorting with a young slave boy—he did it with his left hand, which was once considered the “sinister” hand. Ancient Pompeii graffiti even read: When my worries oppress by body, with my left hand, I release my pent up fluids.
TO THE LEFT.
Throughout the 1990s, the Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Abd al-Aziz ibn Baz, famously and rabidly campaigned against self-pleasure. He argued that the act of masturbation caused disruption of the digestive system, inflammation of the testicles, decreased intellect and even insanity.
Keith London At Village Pub
PHOTOS ADRIANNA CORTEZ
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Nicole T. Phillips BeneямБt At Boardwalk
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The Manor Nightclub
PHOTOS ADRIANNA CORTEZ
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No Really. It's Not You. It's Me. BY ALEXANDER KACALA
SEX AND THE ISLAND CITY ometimes, I think to myself while scrolling through my Facebook feed with all of the postings of new relationships: How the f*ck is this person in a relationship and I am still single?
In early 2015, I decided that I desperately needed therapy. I started seeing someone at the local wellness center. He was an older gay man, the perfect outlet for any daddy issues I may have. Dr. Daddy and I had a lot to talk about. My overbearing mother. My passive aggressive father. My struggle as a freelance writer. Usually, family and occupation took over our sessions and we, surprisingly, if seldom, broached the area of sex. Well, sex we dished on. I would easily describe my latest one-night stand with the hot guacamole scooper from Chipotle. But relationships? Oy. Soon after, Dr. Daddy began focusing on the fact that I didn't have a solid history of dating. "It's very atypical to see someone your age with not many long-term relationships in their dating history." He really started harping on this, so much so that I began to feel: are you with me Dr. Dad or against me? When I got defensive, he would remind me that one of my long-term goals for therapy was to be in a long-term relationship with someone. But what is long term? I hate it when people proclaim the longevity of their relationships, like they deserve some trophy for being together for a long time.
During that semester in Italy, Wayne ignored me the entire time, only approaching me the very last day with a handmade notebook and an apology letter in it. Duration: Four months. 2006: Christian was my second college love. An incoming freshman, we met first through the dating site XY. His taste in music was far superior to mine. In the end, I just don't think I was cool enough for him. The day we went on a break, I ended up hooking up with a hot trick on campus who had atrociously bad back hair. Christian found out, and all hopes of us getting back together were done for. It was an extremely emotional lunch over veggie burgers at Burger King. Duration: Three months. There is a pretty large gap of time here between college and the next relationship that I can actually qualify as real. I attribute this to my drinking problem. We will revisit that later. 2014: Joshua happened to be a well-known drag queen, and I was convinced that he was the love of my life. I even told him "I love you." What plagued this relationship was long distance and a drag queen's tiring work schedule that prevented real intimacy. Even two dozen long stem yellow roses sent to me on Valentine's Day couldn't save us. Dr. Daddy loved asking about Joshua, but I said that this was an outlier. An outlier is defined as a data point that is distinctly separate from the rest of the data. It was such a random occurrence of events and emotions that real life logic cannot be applied to it. Duration: Almost one year. But still I can't help but ask: Why I am still so single in a world of so many relationships?
‘We have been together seven years.' ‘We have been together for eighty billion years.' Usually when someone mentions this fact, I point out that while maybe they have been in a relationship for seven years, I haven't had a relationship last seven weeks. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I have had a few failed relationships that actually lasted longer than a first date or one-night stand. My love life is a mathematical equation for which there is no real solution. Let's review: 2005: Wayne was my first college love. We didn't go to the same school, and I would endure a painfully long bus ride to see him every weekend. He ended up cheating on me, and we broke things off. But, we had already applied to the same prestigious study abroad program together and were both accepted.
Obviously, the problem is me. The constant to these situations and the hundreds of failed attempts is me. I wish I could blame the rest of the world, but I really can't. I have some gene missing. Some piece of gay DNA that makes me want to couple but leaves me utterly resourceless to make it happen. Could it be intimacy? Possibly. Could it be that I'm not a good lay? Perhaps. Could it be I'm not vulnerable? Definitely. This Valentine's Day, I probably won't have a date and I definitely won't have long-stemmed yellow roses delivered to my door. Dr. Daddy isn't on my speed dial any longer, so it's up to me to figure out what the constant is. But I'm not entirely alone. I invite you along on that journey. *All names have been changed.
DRINK’S ON US!
Guy’s t u O t h g i N PM T0 7:30PM 0 3 : 5 M O R F N DOORS OPE LIVE
F E A T U R I N G
AMANDA AUSTIN 1421 E OAKLAND PARK BLVD FORT LAUDERDALE
W W W . G U Y M A G . N E T
The phallus-shaped fruit doesn’t just have a resemblance of the male anatomy, the potassium within helps build muscle strength that adds to a more explosive orgasm.
Watermelon contains the phytonutrient citrulline, which increases nitric oxide production. This stimulates blood flow resulting in a quick arousal.
This fruit has strong antioxidants that are known to stimulate sex drive by protecting the lining of blood vessels, which allow more blood to rush through the veins.
Hot to the palate and to the body, chili peppers stimulate the body’s pleasure chemicals: endorphins. Add to that an increased heart rate and the sweats and you have liftoff.
Olive oil has antioxidants, monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats that increase the body’s sex drive and are known to add to the body’s good health.
The seductive manner in which you press this delight to your lips isnâ€™t the only allure. The shellfish contains zinc, which heightens the sex drive by upping your testosterone levels.
Fish might not sound like a sexy food, but the abundance of Omega-3 fatty acids it contains is known to keep the sex hormones in a heightened state.
The delectable confection is one of the most commonly known aphrodisiacs in the world. It releases dopamine in the brain that heightens sexual pleasure.
Red wine contains an antioxidant, resveratrol, that increases blood flow for a stronger sexual sensation.
Honey is a delicate aphrodisiac, because of the natural boron it produces. This regulates testosterone levels for a heightened energy boost. 51
S P I C E
YO U R
L I F E
10 edible aphrodisiacs that will kick start your bedroom game. Delicious.
BY JAMEER BAPTISTE
LEA DELARIA SATURDAY 2/13 AT 8 PM Parker Playhouse
Lea DeLaria, better known to Orange Is the New Black fans as Big Boo, seems to have achieved overnight success after her SAG Award winning part on the hit Netflix show. The truth is that the first openly gay comic on television has had a long list of credits on numerous shows and films, often in bit parts overstressing her sexuality. She played such stereotypical roles as a police officer, a PE teacher, and the lesbian who inappropriately hits on straight women. Tonight’s performance shows off the multifaceted entertainer’s jazz vocalist skills and will also feature an intimate conversation conducted by host Varla Jean Merman. 8:00 p.m. Parker Playhouse. 707 NE 8th St. Fort Lauderdale. 33304.
MIAMI CITY BALLET: YEAR OF THE RABBIT SATURDAY 2/13 AT 8 PM
Arsht Center for the Performing Arts Miami City Ballet’s newest production includes three different works. Justin Peck’s Year of the Rabbit explores the cyclical na-
ture of life through intricately architected dance movements. Paul Taylor’s wellreceived Sunset introspectively depicts the complexities of love, camaraderie, and separation experienced by six soldiers and the loves they left behind. The final dance, Bourree Fantasque, is set to Emmanuel Chabrier’s music and includes elaborate, chic-Karinska-inspired costumes. 8:00 p.m. Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts. 1300 Biscayne Blvd. Miami. 33132.
BEN VEREEN SUNDAY 2/14 AT 7 PM
Aventura Arts and Cultural Center Spend Valentine’s Day listening to a voice that has captured the hearts of millions of theatregoers throughout the last half a century. Ben Vereen’s legendary career peaked in the 1970s when he was one of the top Broadway actors, having appeared in a string of major musicals. His breakthrough success started when he played Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar, a role that earned him a Tony Award nomination for Best Featured Actor in a Musical. 7:00 p.m. Aventura Arts and Cultural Center. 3385 NE 188th St. Aventura. 33180.
PHOTOS: LEA DELARIA, SOPHY HOLLAND; MIAMI CITY BALLET, PUBLICITY PHOTO; BEN VEREEN, WALTER MCBRIDE.
FLORIDA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL MONDAY 2/15 AT 10 AM Quiet Waters Park
The best Renaissance Festival in the entire country takes place annually in little Deerfield Beach. Five centuries of fun all converge at Quiet Waters Park as royalty, knights, and minstrels vie for commoners’ attention. The festival recreates a sixteenth century village as chivalrous men compete for the love of fair maidens. There is continuous entertainment on twelve stages. Join in on such fun as sword fights, magic shows, street performing, and more than 120 artisan booths. 10:00 a.m. Quiet Waters Park. 401 S. Powerline Rd. Deerfield Beach. 33442.
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN AND THE E STREET BAND TUESDAY 2/16 AT 7:30 PM BB&T Center
The New Jersey native has been an American rock God ever since he proclaimed how proud he was to be “Born in the USA.” Even a young Courtney Cox couldn’t keep herself from dancing reck-
lessly with him on stage. His poetically written songs defined a generation. From “Thunderroad” to “The Streets of Philadelphia,” Springsteen’s hit singles showcase his unique and unmatched songwriting skills. His music has maintained cultural relevancy for almost three decades—a feat in and of itself. The legendary singer arrives to the BB&T Center and will sing his 1980 disc The River in its entirety. 7:30 p.m. BB&T Center. 2555 NW 136th Ave. Sunrise. 33323.
AS YOU LIKE IT WEDNESDAY 2/17 AT 8 PM Jerry Herman Ring Theatre
Shakespeare’s famous pastoral comedy is most noteworthy for providing the memorable “All the world’s a stage” monologue in which the seven ages of a man’s life are described. The plot follows Rosalind, a persecuted young woman, who flees her abusive uncle’s court with her cousin Celia. They embark on a journey in the Forest of Arden where the encounter eccentric characters and new love connections. 8:00 p.m. Jerry Herman Ring Theatre. 1312 Miller Dr. Coral Gables. 33146.
PHOTOS: FLORIDA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL, JACQUES ZE WHIPPEUR ; BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, REUTERS, AS YOU LIKE IT; ROGER MASTROIANNI.
WHO . WHAT . WHEN . WHERE ANOTHER WEEK DOWN, ANOTHER WEEK TO GO. STAY AHEAD OF THE SOCIAL CURVE BY KEEPING UP TO DATE WITH WHAT'S HAPPENING LOCALLY. WE'VE GATHERED SOME OF THE HOTTEST TICKETS IN TOWN, BUT, ULTIMATELY, THE CHOICE IS YOURS. BY PATRICK ROBERT
PAULY SHORE THURSDAY 2/11 AT 8 PM Palm Beach Improv
The king of MTV’s Spring Break program during its 1990's heyday, Pauly Shore returns to Florida to tell jokes at The Comedy Zone. Shore’s career was catapulted by his surfer vernacular, “weasel”-esque behavior, and classic catchphrase “Hey, BU-DDY.” His 1990 show Totally Pauly ran for six years, establishing his marketability with the youth of the time. A film career followed, including leading roles in such silly gems as Jury Duty and Bio-Dome. Although a recent self-titled TV show didn’t live up to expectations, Shore is back to his first love—stand-up. 8:00 p.m. Palm Beach Improv. 550 S. Rosemary Ave. West Palm Beach. 33401.
TONY DANZA FRIDAY 2/12 AT 6:30 PM The Colony Hotel
Before Tony Danza became the “Boss,” the Brooklyn native had a stint as a professional boxer. When a talent scout found him, he earned hit starring roles on TV staples Taxi and Who’s The Boss? dur-
ing the early 1980s. After the success of Who’s the Boss? he struggled to find consistent TV work, dabbling in talk shows and reality shows before finding a niche in the theatrical world. He has performed in shows like The Iceman Cometh and The Producers. Tonight’s performance will highlight his musical chops. 6:30 p.m. The Colony Hotel. 155 Hammon Ave. Palm Beach. 33480.
MUSIC OF ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER FRIDAY 2/12 AT 8 PM Duncan Theatre
Starting out as the lead singer for vocal Andrew Lloyd Webber is one of the most popular musical theatre composers of the past century. His many musicals have created iconic singles known not only by theatre lovers but also by the general public. Tonight, a cast of vocalists and musicians will perform some of his biggest hits. Expect to hear such memorable songs as “Memory,” “Jesus Christ Superstar,” “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina,” and “Phantom of the Opera.” Metropolitan Opera and Carnegie Hall soloist countertenor Terry Barber stars in the production. 8:00 p.m. Duncan Theatre. 4200 Congress Ave. Lake Worth. 33461.
PHOTOS: PAULY SHORE, REBECCA JOELSON; TONY DANZA, AP; LEA DELARIA, SOPHY HOLLAND., MIAMI CITY BALLET: YEAR OF THE RABBIT, BRIAN JAIME; PAULY SHORE, PUBLICITY PHOTO; TONY DANZA, AP; ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER, PUBLICITY PHOTO.
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Chapel Chatter WHEN I FIRST STARTED WORKING OUT, I DID IT JUST SO I COULD BE IN THE PRESENCE OF HOT GUYS.
WORDS & PHOTOS BY JAMEER BAPTISTE
atricia Tobey, a wedding officiant and owner of Celebrations Wedding Chapel, has the most adorable wedding venue. It's tucked away on the outskirts of Wilton Manors, just past the Pride Center and over the Island City Bridge on North Dixie Highway. The quaint Victorian-style wedding chapel has been in the same clandestine location since 1964. If the walls could talk, they would leave you weeping from the countless whimsical romances that have been staged there. For the past 52 years, couples have married and renewed their vows at the charming chapel. While there, we discovered a wall of history that showcased couples' repeat visits back to the chapel to
There aren’t many chapels in South Florida anymore, so we’re needed. honor their nuptials. Two couples’ wedding photos from over 40 years ago hang right beside recent vow renewal photos taken with their expanding families. A true love story of a couple once married in 1974, then divorced only to remarry yet again at the chapel in April 2015 also adorns the wall. “There aren’t many chapels in South Florida anymore, so we’re needed,” says Tobey. The soft-spoken officiant is the perfect complement to the enchanting chapel. She has been officiating and planning weddings for roughly two decades. After officially organizing weddings for five years, she and her husband purchased the chapel in 2004.
Ever since, she has maintained the venue and kept the tradition of intimate weddings alive. Tobey, with the help of her sister, arranges weddings in the chapel and at offsite locations at the behest of eager couples. Couples can invite up to 30 guests to the chapel for an indoor wedding or outdoor on the striking patio that boast beautiful waterfalls, a pond, a small bridge and a white Victorian gazebo with lush foliage. “All you need to bring is three things,” says Tobey. “The couple to get married, the license from the courthouse and someone to perform the ceremony.” Although Tobey is an officiant, couples are more than welcome
to bring in their personal pastor. If couples prefer, they can take advantage of Tobey’s services that include the cake, flowers, music and decorations, plus her services as the officiant. Tobey performs up to 20 weddings every month with an even split between offsite and onsite ceremonies. She has been performing weddings for the LGBT community before it was legal in Florida, by officiating commitment ceremonies. Her latest same-sex union: a charming pair of men from Ireland who will soon tie the knot. Celebrations Wedding Chapel 1805 North Dixie Highway Fort Lauderdale, FL 33305 954-763-5540
HEALTH & FITNESS
PUMP UP THE MASS BY TOM BONANTI
here’s no better way to increase muscle mass than by working out with weights. If you challenge your body on a consistent basis with a dynamic combination of sound nutrition, proper rest, and a regular weight training program, you can build muscle well into old age. There’s no secret to making those muscles grow; it’s not rocket science, but here are a few things to keep in mind. This is what happens when you lift weights. If may seem crazy, but in order to grow in size and strength, muscles actually have to be broken down. As you pump iron, you’re applying stress, injury if you will, to the muscle ﬁbers causing them damage. The body responds to this “muscle trauma” with speciﬁc metabolic and hormonal reactions that cause those same injured muscle ﬁbers not only to heal, but to actually overcompensate by growing denser, more resilient. In short, weight training systematically breaks down muscle ﬁbers and the body responds by rebuilding those ﬁbers bigger and stronger.
FOR MORE FITNESS, VISIT WWW.GUYMAG.NET. 68
Weight training utilizes the aforementioned process in your favor. If you want to build muscle mass, you must introduce your muscles systematically to more stress and tension. As they adapt and grow stronger, it’s necessary to increase and vary the amount and types of stimuli. This is known as progressive overload. You can put this concept into practice during workouts by increasing the weight on the bar, trying new and diﬀerent exercises, or incorporating “forced reps.” Working out to increase strength and lean muscle mass should take into consideration several key factors: 1. Periodize or cycle your training. This means that you exercise diﬀerent muscle groups on diﬀerent days. For example, on Mondays work out shoulders, arms and abdominals; Wednesdays work on legs and gluteals; Fridays work out chest and back. Go for 3 sets of each exercise with a range of 8 – 12 reps.
2. Free weights rule! Studies show that using free weights is better for resistance training than exercising with specialized machines. Free weights are more versatile, safer and easier to use. They also allow you to build more muscle mass, increase ﬂexibility and improve balance all at the same time.
more calories, but focus upon quality over quantity. Stay away from expensive supplements that promise unreal results. Eat clean, nutrient dense foods like lean protein, complex carbs and healthy fats. Protein intake should be .8-1 gram per pound of lean body mass per day.
3. Stress the basics. Multijoint, compound moves like the squat, bench press, dead lift and overhead press increase strength and lean muscle; they also elicit a larger, more powerful hormonal response.
6. Rest up! Your muscles recover and grow not while you are tearing them up in the gym, but when you’re chilling on “oﬀ days.” Never underestimate the powerful muscle building metabolic and hormonal changes that can occur in your body during 8-10 hours of quality “shut-eye.”
4. Change your cardio routine. If your goal is to increase muscle mass, then you shouldn’t be burning massive amounts of calories doing cardio. Shorter, more intense cardio sessions can be interspersed into your weight training regiment, once or twice a week. Try an interval approach to cardio if you wish to burn fat as you build muscle mass. 5. Eat healthy. Putting on muscle requires you to eat
Tom Bonanti is a certiﬁed personal trainer and licensed massage therapist with his own gym and studio, Pump’n Inc., located at 1271 NE 9th Avenue in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33304. Contact Tom at TrainerTomB@aol.com with questions or set up a free consultation by calling (954) 557-1119. For additional information, visit www. pumpnincgym.com.
HEALTH & FITNESS
ACCENT ON ACCENTS
BY GREGG SHAPIRO
here probably aren’t too many movies that will bring queer folks, Jane Austen readers and horror fans into the same multiplex theater, but zomrom-com Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Sony/Screen Gems) certainly has that potential. Based on Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel of the same name (which, in turn, is based Austen’s Pride and Prejudice), is a combination of “a novel of manners” overrun by undead man-eaters all brought to life on the big screen. The five “warrior daughters” of the Bennet family – Elizabeth (Lily James), Jane (Bella Heathcote), Lydia (Ellie Bamber), Mary (Millie Brady) and Kitty (Suki Waterhouse) – all trained in the art of war, need to be married off before their father dies and they are left destitute. There are plenty of
eligible bachelors including the moody Mr. Darcy (Sam Riley), desirable Mr. Bingley (the gorgeous Douglas Booth), the goofy Parson Collins (Matt Smith) and mysterious soldier Wickham (George Huston), in addition to numerous obstacles, including Darcy’s fierce eye-patch-wearing aunt Lady Catherine (Lena Headey). But the Bennet family’s worries are nothing compared to the advancing army of zombies who have decimated London and are heading for the countryside. The preparation for the battle ahead, in concert with the potential for at least more than one marriage (come on, you know the story!), makes for alternately entertaining, romantic and gruesome scenes. At almost two hours, there’s some excess flesh that could trimmed. Still, as winter entertainment goes, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies could redefine date night at the movies.
Joining the ranks of The Babadook and It Follows in redefining what horror is in the 21st century, Austrian chiller Goodnight Mommy (Radius TWC/Anchor Bay) also borrows from other sources, including 1970’s classic The Other, to get the fear across. Be afraid – this review contains spoilers! Identical twin brothers Elias and Lukas (Elias and Lukas Schwarz, respectively) and their mother (Suzanne Wuest) are recovering from an accident, as well as the end of the twins’ parents’ marriage, in a secluded country house. The inseparable and resourceful twins are also struggling with another issue. Their mother’s heavily bandaged face (following some kind of procedure) and her demeanor give the boys’ reason to suspect that she may not actually be their mother at all. This aspect of the movie, which involves the brutal interrogation and torture of the mother, scenes that are so extreme that they are best watched between your fingers as they cover your eyes, is something of a distraction from the ultimate twist. One of the twins may (or may not) be dead. While this is not a new concept, Goodnight Mommy, cowritten and co-directed by Veronika Franz and Sev erin Fiala, takes the experience to fresh and frightening places. A conversation with Franz and Fiala is the DVD’s lone special feature. A different kind of family
values are on display in the German film The Summer House (Artsploitation), written and directed by Curtis Burz. The tension in the home of bisexual dad Markus (Sten Jacobs), his wife Christine (Anna Altmann) and daughter Elisabeth (Nina Splettstößer) during summer vacation is thick as strudel. Markus gets his sexual satisfaction on the side with his younger male lover while Christine indulges in a bit of partner swapping with Markus’s financially strapped business associate Christopher (Stephan Bürgi). Elisabeth tries her best to navigate the choppy waters of her parents’ disintegrating marriage, but isn’t having much luck. In fact, things get so bad that Christine performs her own wire coat hanger abortion and threatens to hang herself in front of Markus and Elisabeth. The one ray of light in creepy, predatory and sexually compulsive Markus’ murky existence is Christopher’s 12 year old son Johannes (Jaspar Fuld), a contemporary of Elisabeth’s. Too perverse to stop himself from making a costly mistake, Markus begins a relationship with the boy. But Johannes is more manipulative than Markus expects and hatches a scheme to blackmail him. However, Johannes doesn’t realize the kinds of people, including Elisabeth, with whom he’s gotten involved. DVD bonus features include deleted scenes, including an alternate ending worth watching, as well as cast and crew interviews.
HEALTH & FITNESS
LOOKS GREAT ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT LEAVES A BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH.
SWEET AND SATISFYING, BUT GONE TOO SOON.
IMMEDIATELY INSPIRES THOUGHTS OF GETTING NAKED.
MYSTERIOUS, WITH A FUNNY SMELL AND AN AWKWARD EXTERIOR.
THE ONE YO CHEW UP A SPIT BAC
CAN’T APPRECIATE UNTIL YOU’RE MUCH OLDER.
MAKES MOU WAT AT FI GLAN
THE ONE YOU’LL REGRET HAVING IN THE MORNING.
DECEP ENTIC UNDOUB MIST
OU ALWAYS AND THEN CK OUT.
YOUR UTH TER IRST NCE.
PTIVELY CING. BTEDLY A TAKE.
Love is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. BY DIEGO WYATT
SHINY, PRETENTIOUS AND WORTH EVERY BIT OF THE GUILT.
SO SWEET IT MAKES YOUR STOMACH TURN.
LEFT BEHIND FOR THE NEXT SUCKER.
GETS MORE BITTER THE LONGER YOU COMMIT.
THE ONE THAT NO ONE LIKES.
THE SAFE BET, BORING AND PLAIN.
THE GUY GUIDE
ALWAYS & FOREVER
41% OF GAY MEN WANT TO GET MARRIED.
A SENSE OF HUMOR RANKS AMONG ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER TRAITS FOR GAY MEN.
37% OF GAY MEN SAY THEY CHECK THEIR PHONE DURING THE FIRST DATE.
70% OF GAY MEN HAVE DATED SOMEONE THEY’VE MET ONLINE.
65% OF GAY MEN BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
48% OF GAY MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE THEY DIDN’T INITIALLY FIND ATTRACTIVE.
33% OF GAY MEN ARE UNSURE IF MARRIAGE IS RIGHT FOR THEM.
22% OF GAY MEN DESIRE THEIR DATES TO BE MORE ATHLETIC THAN THEMSELVES.
90% OF GAY MEN AGREE THAT HAVING A PARTNER WHO IS ATTRACTIVE TO THEM IS IMPORTANT. STATISTICS COMPILED BY MATCH.COM.
Olivier sad @ Pride. I inquired. Accent bewitched me. Offered as a friend 2 help him find happiness. He learned 2 trust me. We fell in love. BRADEN & OLIVIER, TOGETHER 7 MONTHS
Gave Jay my email on Instagram. He thought it was biz. Got his #. He photographed me & I met his fiancĂŠ. It was love @ 1st sight. JAY & STEVEN, TOGETHER 1.5 YEARS
Met @ model shoot. Instant Chemistry. Went back 2 Tampa. Jarron made sure 2 stay in touch. I moved down. Me + fam fell in love. Now engaged! DAVID & JERRON, TOGETHER 6 YEARS
Needed model 4 swimwear line. Learned he wanted an underwear line. I wanted him. Danny just broke up. We hung out. He ďŹ nally gave in. DANNY & REY, TOGETHER 6 YEARS
Didn't want 2 go out but my friends had me. Walked in & there's Carlos sans shirt. Locked eyes. I was shy. He approached. Inseparable since. MICHAEL & CARLOS, TOGETHER 3.5 YEARS
We met online, enjoyed a relationship and broke up. We later got back together because, while apart, we realized that we loved 1 another. DON & DAVID, TOGETHER 6 YEARS
IN 140 CHARACTERS OR LESS 88
Six couples divulge their unique love stories in as few words as possible. WORDS BY JAMEER BAPTISTE PHOTOS BY DENNIS DEAN
Cover Models: Rey Yero @VoiToi & Danny Miami @DannyMiami_ Photographer: Dennis Dean www.dennisdean.com
Love Stories in 140 Characters or Less
44 Spice Up Your
16. The Guy Guide: Always & Forever 20. An Ex-BoyďŹ rend Box of Chocolates 24. Screen Savor: Accent on Accents 28. Fitness: Pump Up the Mass 34. The Wedding Ringer 38. The Week
GUY M A G A Z I N E