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Mark Rosenberg Dishes Out A Hilarious New Memoir Page 10


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Russia Proposes a ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Policy for Olympics






Vitaly Mutko, Russian Minister of Sports

Russian President Vladimir Putin

President Vladimir Putin signed the anti-gay “propaganda” bill into law earlier this summer, and ever since, things have been less-than-easy for the country. RIA states that Russia’s definition of “propaganda” is vague (at best) and “hinges on intent.” Though it does not outlaw gay sex (which was legalized in the country in 1993), it bars anyone from distributing information with the “intention” of persuading minors that “nontraditional” sexual relationships are “attractive,” “intertesting,” or “socially equivalent to traditional relationships.” Seeing as there is no definition for “nontraditional relationships” by law, it seems as though Russia still has some explaining to do. Just last week alone, two out male actors (Stephen Fry and George Takei) separately said the Sochi Games remind them of Nazi Germany. Takei told Lawrence O’Donnell, “This is a situation of good vs. evil. It is evil that is happening there, and we must not play into Putin’s game.” Takei called the

antigay movement in Russia “a terrible situation,” urging athletes, corporations and citizens to boycott the Games. “There are athletes that are gay or lesbian and their supporters are gay or lesbian too, and they are being put in danger and if something horrific happens – and it’s very likely given the kind of history of what’s been happening there – the responsibility is great,” said Takei. After drawing parallels between Putin and Hitler, Takei said, “Hitler came to power and began this gradual campaign of horror against the Jewish people, and he got legitimacy throughout the world, he got more power, he got that status. And that’s precisely what we’re giving Putin with the Olympics being held there.” Out actor Stephen Fry also saw the correlation between the two countries, writing an open letter to British Prime Minister David Cameron and members of the IOC to express his concerns. When speaking of the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, Fry says that historians agree that the games “provided

Alexander Zhukov, Russia’s Olympic Committee president

a stage for the gleeful Fuhrer and only increased his status at home and abroad.” In a blog post on his website, Fry said: “Putin is eerily repeating this insane crime, only this time against LGBT Russians. Beatings, murders and humiliations are ignored by the police. Any defence or sane discussion of homosexuality is against the law. Any statement, for example, that Tchaikovsky was gay and that his art and life reflects this sexuality and are an inspiration to other gay artists would be punishable by imprisonment.”

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ashington, D.C. – On Friday, the International Olympic Committee asked Russia for “clarification” on its anti-LGBT law. “We have received all reassurances emanating from Mr. Dmitry Kozak, who is in charge of the organization of the Games in Sochi. We asked for written confirmation of these reassurances. We received them yesterday, we have studied it this morning but there are still uncertainties and we have decided to ask for more clarification as of today,” said IOC president Jacques Rogge at a news conference on Friday, according to Reuters. “So we are waiting for this clarification before having final judgment on these reassurances.” Now, IOC has their answer. On Monday, the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs issued a statement confirming that LGBT athletes and spectators will be safe. That is, as long as they don’t talk about their sexual orientation. According to Russian news outlet RIA Novosti, the statement read, “The law enforcement agencies can have no qualms with people who harbor a nontraditional sexual orientation and do not commit such acts [to promote homosexuality to minors], do not conduct any kind of provocation and take part in the Olympics peacefully.” “Any discussion on violating the rights of representatives of nontraditional sexual orientations, stopping them from taking part in the Olympic Games or discrimination of athletes and guests of the Olympics according to their sexual orientation is totally unfounded and contrived,” the statement added. “If a person does not put across his views in the presence of children, no measures against him can be taken. People of nontraditional sexual orientations can take part in the competitions and all other events at the Games unhindered, without any fear for their safety whatsoever.” /floridaagenda


SUNSHINE STATE Pinellas County Commissioners Vote to Amend Human Rights Ordinance Clearwater, FL – On August 20, the Pinellas County Board of County Commissioners will be voting on a proposal to update the countywide Human Rights Ordinance to include protections for gender identity or expression. The meeting (which will also be broadcast on PCCTV) will focus on a new policy that would apply to public and private employers, as well as businesses that provide housing and accommodations (religious organizations excluded). If passed, the ordinance would remove the word “sex” from the county’s anti-discrimination policy, replacing it with “gender.” The ordinance was lobbied by Trans-Action Florida (a St. Petersburg-based nonprofit organization) as well as the St. Petersburg Area Chamber of Commerce. The American Civil Liberties Union issues a statement recently, which stated their support for the measure. “Transgender people are often confronted with a wide variety of barriers, facing difficulties meeting basic needs, like getting a job, housing or health care, or in having their gender identity respected,” read the statement. “Adding explicit protections for gender identity would be a strong first step in addressing discrimination against transgender people in Pinellas County.”

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LIVING GREEN FRESH MARKET UNDERGOES RENOVATION Store owner Tony (in photo on right) shows off the new addition to the popular Oakland Park market—a juice and smoothie eat-in or take-out bar that also serves coffee and espresso.

Billie Jean King

Billie Jean King Talks Being Gay in the 1970s Beverly Hills, CA – Billie Jean King recently told the Associated Press that she couldn’t have come out of the closet in the 70s because it would have damaged her career as well as the women’s professional tennis tour as a whole. “I don’t think it would have helped the situation. I think it would have hurt us more because we were just getting started,” said King at a Television Critics Association session. AP also reports that King will be the first sports figure to be profiled on PBS, in an episode set to air on Septmeber 10. King became the first well-known female athlete to come out as gay in 1981, following a palimony lawsuit filed against King by partner. “The essence was I was outed, and at that time, I was still trying to find myself,” said King. “My poor parents are homophobic.

I grew up homophobic, so you can imagine this challenge. I didn’t get comfortable in my own skin until I was around 51 about being gay...When people say, ‘What do you remember about the ‘70s?’ I go, ‘I was tired.’ I was exhausted every moment. But God gave me extra energy, so I’m very fortunate.”

DOMA Workshop at Pride Center Following the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, samesex couples in Florida were scratching their heads, figuring out what it meant for them specifically. The meeting was lead by panelists from SunServe, Treece Financial Group, the Law Office of Stephanie L. Schneider, and CPA Arthur Palermo. Though some topics are still a

little gray, many questions were answered by various panelists focusing on taxes, social security, living wills, real estate, life insurance, joint banking and more. The meeting, which lasted just under an hour and a half, was jam-packed from wall to wall with older couples seeking advice from local experts. Some basic points made: • Consider waiting for full retirement age (66) to receive a bigger Social Security check and more benefits for you and your spouse. Your Social Security benefits may be taxable depending on your income. • Based on the current wording of our state’s DOMA, if you file an application in the state of Florida for spousal Social Security Benefits, it will be denied. The benefits are currently only honored in states where same-sex marriage is legal.

Benefits for Military Personnel Is Still a Gray Area Starting in 2033, Social Security trustees project that the system will be able to pay only 75% of promised benefits. Suggested Social Security reforms include raising the retirement age, raising payroll taxes and revising the benefit formula in a number of ways. When comparing single tax returns and joint tax returns, panelist Brett Landsman said that each case is different, and in order to find the best fit for you, you should meet with your accountant.




Gov. Jerry Brown

California Government Signs Trans Student Protection Bill San Francisco, CA – California governor Jerry Brown signed a monumental bill Monday afternoon, which expands upon discriminatory protections for transgender students in public elementary and secondary schools. Assembly Bill 1266 (also known as the School Success and Opportunity Act) is the first bill of its kind, ordering schools to respect the gender identity of their students, allowing equal access to sports, facilities and any programs involving their gender. According to the Bay Area Reporter, the law will take effect January 1. Bill author Assemblyman Tom Ammiano told the Bay Area Reporter: “While many California school children are already protected by policies in some of our biggest school districts, other districts don’t seem to understand that transgender students should have equal access to all programs and facilities. The gender identity of these kids needs to be respected and they shouldn’t have to sue to make it happen.”

Gay Australian Ambassador Marries Partner in D.C.

Washington, D.C. – The Pentagon is prepping to extend health care, housing, and other benefits to married gay and lesbian members of the military by the end of this month, according to the Associated Press. Unfortunately, the Department of Defense may not offer the same benefits to samesex partners who aren’t married. However, the Defense Department memo states that they may provide up to 10 days of leave to military personnel to travel to a state where they can legally get married. Though nothing has been finalized, the earlier plan that would allow same-sex partners of military members to sign a declaration form to receive limited benefits, has reportedly been dropped. The memo from Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel reads, “As the Supreme Court’s ruling has made it possible for same-sex couples to marry and be afforded all benefits available to any military spoude and family, I have determined, consistent with the unanimous advice of the members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, that the spousal and family benefits far outweigh the benefits that could be extended under a declaration system.” As the memo is currently being reviewed by the Justice Department, the Pentagon will not be able to make any further decisions until it’s completed. Washington, D.C. – President Obama has cancelled a one-on-one meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin that was to take place after next month’s G-20 summit in St. Petersburg, citing the asylum of National Security Agency whistleblower Edward Snowden and the country’s stance on LGBT rights as key factors.

working with them on development issues, but in some cases they persecute gays and lesbians. It makes for some uncomfortable press conferences sometimes. But one of the things that I think is more important for me to speak out on is making sure that people are treated fairly and justly, because that’s what we stand for, and I think that’s a precept that’s not unique to America, that’s something that should apply everywhere.” It appears that Obama isn’t budging on the issue, made clear Wednesday morning from Carney’s statement. “Given our lack of progress on issues such as missile defense and arms control, trade and commercial relations, global security issues and human rights and civil society in the last 12 months, we have informed the Russian government that we believe it would be more constructive to postpone the summit until we have more results from our shared agenda.” While the one-on-one meeting with Putin has been canned for now, President Obama is still planning to attend the G-20 summit Septmeber 5-6.


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Washington, D.C. – John Berry, U.S. Ambassador to Australia, married his longtime partner Curtis Yee on Saturday, reports the Washington Blade. Barry was confirmed to ambassador by a Senate vote last month, and will be the first openly gay ambassador of a G-20 nation. He is the fifth openly gay U.S. Ambassador, including ambassadors for New Zealand,

Pentagon Working On Same-Sex Spousal Benefits for Military Personnel

The announcement from White House Press Secretary Jay Carney came just hours after President Obama’s appearance on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,” where he chatted about serious topics such as the economy, the Affordable Care Act and Russia’s recent anti-gay laws. When speaking of Russia’s stance on LGBT rights, Obama told Leno, “I’ve been very clear that when it comes to universal rights, when it comes to people’s basic freedoms, that whether you’re discriminating on the basis of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, you are violating the basic morality that I think should transcend every country.” He went on to say, “I have no patience for countries that try to treat gays or lesbians or transgender persons in ways that intimidate them or are harmful to them.” But Obama recognized that equality is a battle that the whole world is experiencing: “Now, what’s happening to them in Russia is not unique. When I traveled to Africa, there were some countries who are doing a lot of good things for their people, who are

Samoa, Spain and Denmark. Berry and Yee have been together for nearly 17 years, and finally tied the knot this weekend at St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church, says the Blade. Though Australia does not currently offer same-sex marriages, prime minister Kevin Rudd mentioned in a debate this weekend that if he is reelected, he will introduce a bill for marriage equality within the first 100 days of the term.









EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS Tom Bonanti, Jean Doherty, Andy Kress, Phoebe Moses, Robert Elias Deaton, Richard David Chamberlain, Grant James, Justin Jones, Joe Harris, Gregg Shapiro Photography • Stephen Kuttner, Dennis Dean T.J. Gillespie, Lissa Good, Big Dewitte



SALES & MARKETING Account Executive KEITH CHAMLEE - 954-380-8563 x2111 Account Executive JOYCE BLUESTEIN - 954-380-8563 x2113 Account Executive CHANCE TAFFER - 954-380-8563 x2115

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Gay activist being beaten in Moscow


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ear Russia,

Simply put, you are a bully. Last week, an anchor from one of your most popular news programs appeared on a Kremlin-controlled show to speak of his personal views on homosexuals. The Russia 1 clip has since gone viral, in which anchor Dmitri Kisilev said that Russia’s gay propaganda law doesn’t go far enough. Kisilev goes on to say, “I think that just imposing fines on gays for homosexual propaganda among teenagers is not enough. They should be banned from donating blood, sperm. And their hearts, in case of automobile accident, should be buried in the ground or burned as unsuitable for continuation of life.” Following his statement, Kisilev received heavy applause from the audience. I’ve never felt so uneasy in my entire life. Maybe it was particularly jarring because I can speak Russian. Yes, a gay who can speak Russian. I didn’t use a translator to discover the horrors: I just watched and listened. The audience (still

Camera Ready Artwork by Mondays, Noon Placement by Mondays, 5 p.m.

clapping behind him), was either too scared to do anything about it, or just too brainwashed. Whatever the reason, these people were clapping with a dead stare. There were no cheers or shouts. Why so stoic, Russia? Perhaps it’s because your people have been bullied into their current belief system. Last week, George Takei and Stephen Fry both compared Putin to Hitler, drawing parallels between the 1936 Berlin Games and the 2014 Sochi Games. That’s right – in 77 years (78 next year), we’ve changed so much, and yet at the same time, not so much. At all. Though Putin hasn’t reached “Hitler” status just yet, he’s rapidly approaching. After all, we do have a news anchor telling a live television audience that homosexuals should not be allowed to donate organs. What’s the next step? Gay people aren’t allowed in the country at all? If we get caught, we’re shot dead? Where exactly do we draw the line? Maybe it’s because our leaders aren’t properly representing our community. President Obama recently canceled his oneon-one meeting with Putin, which was a scheduled to follow the G-20 summit next month. Obama cited a number of

reasons for the cause of the cancellation, one pf which was due to “human rights and civil society in the last twelve months.” But on Friday, during a press conference, Obama stated that it’s not “appropriate” to boycott the Olympics. He went on to say, “One of the things I’m really looking forward to is maybe some gay and lesbian athletes bringing home the gold or silver or bronze, which I think would go a long way in rejecting the kind of attitudes that we’re seeing out there.” So basically, bring home the medals and leave behind our pride. U.K. Prime minister David Cameron responded via Twitter, stating “I share your deep concern about the abuse of gay people in Russia. However, I believe we can better challenge prejudice as we attend, rather than boycotting the Winter Olympics.” While worded with a little bit more tact, Cameron’s message said the same thing: Don’t boycott the Olympics. You’re leaving us with very little hope. More importantly, you’re leaving yourself with less. With Love, America.


Placement by Fridays, 5 p.m. Artwork by Fridays, Noon ALL MATERIAL in the Florida Agenda is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the Florida Agenda. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred or implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representation does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of that person or persons. Although this paper is supported by many fine advertisers, the Agenda cannot accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers. EDITORIAL POSITIONS of the Florida Agenda are expressed in editorials and in editors’ notes as determined by the paper’s editors. Other opinions are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Florida Agenda or its staff. TO SUBMIT A LETTER OR COMMENTARY: Letters should be fewer than 400 words; commentaries should be fewer than 750 words. Submissions may be edited for content and length, and must include a name, address and phone number for verification. Send submissions by e-mail to Editor@floridaagenda. com by fax to 954-566-7900 or by regular mail to the Agenda office, attn: Letters/Commentary. MAIN OFFICE/ SALES & CLASSIFIEDS: 2435 North Dixie Highway • Wilton Manors, Florida 33305 Phone 954-380-8563 FAX 954-380-8567 A bureau of Printed by Forum Publishing Group (954) 574-5321 MEDIA ADVISORY BOARD Alan Beck, Keith Blackburn, Robert Boo, Reece Darham, Richard Hack, Kevin Hopper, Paul Hugo, Peter Jackson, Krishan Manners, Terry DeCarlo, Mark Negrete, Jackson Padgett, Gary Santis, Jason Tamanini, Brett Tannenbaum, Dean Trantalis, Victor Zepka © 2013, Mutimedia Platforms LLC. All rights reserved.








“Queer Eye for the Straight Guy:” Helping in guilt-free conversion

After all, we were funny. Okay, so now you accepted us, but marriage, that was something else entirely. Seeing two men or women together, an immediate repulsion probably ran through your body. There was something just wrong, innately wrong about the whole situation and you couldn’t quite put your finger on why. We know about this. We felt it, too. I bet you didn’t know that. When we first felt attracted to someone of the same sex, or during our first kiss, or after our first kiss, yes, we too were a little disgusted. It probably ran deeper for us, because we had to deal with it. And we would have to work on that part of ourselves. But you never had to work on it—no one was forcing you, so you still would feel sick, seeing some gays down the street holding hands, and the idea of them at the altar—no, not that. It was going too far. But you changed. You’ve made the right decision. So don’t feel guilty. That

was just a passing phase, a part of the enlightenment process. There was a lot more we had to tell you, like the probable straw-that-broke-the-camel’s-back, three years ago, when all the gay children started dying. CNN and MSNBC and, every blue moon, even Fox News highlighted the gay teen suicides: all these gay kids were offing themselves, from the bullying or their own internalized homophobia. You never knew truly why they were all dying, but they were, and then things got sad. After a long day of work—perhaps alongside some casual gay acquaintance co-workers—you’d turn on the TV, and it would speak of yet another dead gay kid. It was an epidemic. I know you thought that. The truth is, those gay teen suicides have been happening forever. We just weren’t ready to talk about it yet. Maybe some guilt popped up. Had you bullied any gay kids, so long ago— that effeminate boy in gym class who

never managed the rope climb? Could you have been a part of the problem? No, no way, you only used the word “faggot” in close quarters. You ignored those kids—you never picked on them. Still, maybe you watched it happen, and you didn’t do anything, and that makes you feel a little guilty. But don’t feel guilty. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know any better. Nobody told you what was going on. And now you know. We told you, and you’ve made the right choice. So, all my recent allies, who have changed, who have come to the side of rationality, all of my new enlightened brothers and sisters, don’t wallow in guilt just because you didn’t know anything. Enjoy the future with us. Come to our weddings. Throw us a bachelor party. It’s all in the past, and we’re just happy that you came around. Now go call some of those Russian exchange students you knew in high school. It’s time to tell them, too.

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know that you’ve drastically changed your mind in the last five years, to the side of rationality, and you proudly want us to have the same rights as you. This enlightenment came much faster than anyone could have imagined, and I’m pretty sure your initial reaction was one of self-congratulation: You weren’t a bigot. You could look at all those insane Westboro Baptist people or read about Putin’s malevolence and roll your eyes. What are those people thinking? But some time’s passed, I’m afraid, since your turn-around, and maybe you’ve reevaluated who you were before changing your mind. There’s a chance, when these things happen, that you might feel, well, perhaps, a little guilty. Don’t feel guilty. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know any better. We were around, but you didn’t know us. We didn’t talk about things as much as we do now. Sure, there were Stonewall riots a long time ago, but that wasn’t happening to a gay person you had ever met. You never knew one. And sure the understanding that it’s not a choice means that gay people have been all around you throughout your entire life. That’s a fact. But it’s not your fault you didn’t know us. We were scared. Really horrible things were said about us. So how could we talk about inner feelings, our deep desires, without thinking it would turn ugly? So we hid, and your fears may have worsened, and so you didn’t want us to have the same rights as you for a long time. How did things reverse? What brought you to such a change of heart? There are so many possibilities. I’m sure coming out helped—people you knew, and you’d had your suspicions, but now we were like, “yeah, it’s true, sorry.” Ellen helped. And Rosie. And that guy from Star Trek. We were citizens, too. Maybe that “Queer Eye” show helped. We bought you a bunch of stuff, redecorated your rooms, and told you how to love. We were ready for your approval—even if it did take such silliness. So you half-heartedly acquiesced to let us buy you stuff. /floridaagenda /floridaagenda


Eating Out: Mark Rosenberg Dishes Out A Hilarious New Memoir




or a guy who describes himself as a whiter, skinnier, gayer version of Oprah, Eating My Feelings is Mark Rosenberg’s metaphorical wheelbarrow full of fat. No emotional stone is left unturned—or potato chip left uneaten— as he gives us an uncensored and uproariously funny look into his outrageous life battling an his evil stepmother, blackmailing camp councilors, and shamelessly sporting blackface on Halloween… and that’s only the beginning. Mark’s adolescent misadventures set him up perfectly for an equally flamboyant adult life when he emerges into the image-obsessed world of gay New York, and raises as much hell as he did in the sleepy Baltimore suburb of his childhood. Whether he’s hiring the personal trainer he only wants to sleep with, or blogging his way to fame with an X-rated twist on Julie & Julia, Mark’s life is anything but boring. Read it all in his memoir, Eating My Feelings, out now. Randy Sheffield: You were born gay, fat, and angry. Could there be a worse combination? Mark Rosenberg: Gay, fat and incontinent would probably be pretty horrible, I suppose. Especially eating as much as I did as a child. What did being forced to go to fat camp do to your young psyche? It pretty much f****d me up for years. The real motivation for sending me to fat camp was not to lose weight. It was more because I had attended theatre camp for several summers prior and my parents were concerned I might be gay. I loved to sing and dance and kiss boys and all three are red flags.

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But look at you now with those killer abs. You obviously learned something from camp. Thanks! But the abs are always in a state of flux depending upon how much food I have shoved down my throat on any given week. You were a vindictive little kid. Do you remain a vengeful person? I’m all bark and no bite, really. My childhood education of soap operas really paved the way for some ridiculous antics in adulthood but I think my conscious always gets the best of me. There was one time I

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k o o L T OU


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The Week 8/15 to 8/21

Deborah Cox, Jay Z, Justin Timberlake and Hunter Vance Jay Z and Justin Timberlake August 16th at the Sunlife Stadium



Eden Thursdays

Big Broadway in a Little Theater

Hunter Vance

If you’re looking to get off of Wilton Drive for a night, consider Johnny’s “Eden Thursdays.” The bar has recently implemented pool tournaments on Thursdays where you can win up to $200 in prizes. The bar serves up $5 Appletinis and Washington Apples if you’re parched, but if that still doesn’t whet your appetite, you have some of the hottest dancers in town to fall back on (figuratively speaking of course). 5 p.m. Johnny’s. 1116 W Broward Blvd. Fort Lauderdale, 33312.

Andrews Living Arts Center has been on their “A” game lately, with renditions of Rent, Hair and most recently, Jekyll & Hyde (the latter received so much positive feedback that they eventually added an additional weekend of performances). ALA’s newest event, “From Broadway to Hollywood,” doubles as a benefit to secure future productions for the theater. Made up of various ALA alumni and other local theater figures, the intimate “cabaret” style night blends both classic and modern musical theater numbers for an unforgettable night. To buy tickets or for any additional information, visit August 16-17 8 p.m., and August 18 2 p.m. Andrews Living Arts. 23 NW 5th St., Ft. Lauderdale, 33301.

Porn star Hunter Vance will be making a special weekend appearance at Boardwalk this weekend, with shows Friday and Saturday night. The porn star has worked with Falcon/Mustang, Lucas, Jet Set Men and currently hosts his own amateur porn site, appropriately titled We can’t get into the specifics of his video work, but trust us, this beefy boy is worth seeing. Though Vance spends a majority of his time in Tampa, he does the occasional gig down south. Remember, it’s not his first rodeo, so bring that paper and be prepared to make it rain. A boy’s gotta eat, right? 11 p.m. & 1 a.m shows. 1721 N Andrews Ave, Ft. Lauderdale, 33311

To have your event listed, please email



All-You-Can-Eat Steak

Equality Florida is the leading LGBT civil rights group in the state, fighting the people’s fight. Chief Executive Officer Nadine Smith is relentless in her pursuit to stop discrimination and get equality to not just locally, but on a state level as well. Smith has been recognized by several organizations for her work, including the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Human Rights Campaign, and many more. Equality Florida’s “Equali-Tea Dance” asks community members to come out for a day of poolside fun, music, dancing, drink specials, raffles and a brief program informing guests on Equality Florida’s latest work. 2 p.m. Royal Palms Resort and Spa. 717 Breakers Ave, Ft. Lauderdale, 33304.

If you haven’t been to Beefcakes recently (the outside restaurant attached to Boardwalk), stop in on a Monday for their all-you-can-eat steak night. For just $19.95 you can attempt to eat your weight in beef (you know, if you’re into that kind of thing). The night also doubles as a Latino night, with $1 tacos and $5 margaritas to cool your tongue. Did we mention that they have over 20 dancers just steps from the restaurant? Dinner and a show. Open 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. Beefcakes. 1721 N Andrews Ave, Ft. Lauderdale, 33311.

A Little “Detroit Rock City” Never Hurt Anyone

Deborah Cox

The Killers


Relay Dating If you’re tired of seeing the same faces (or lack of) on Grindr, you may need a change. Maybe you want to casually date, maybe you want a serious relationship, or maybe you’re just trying to meet new people. Whatever the reason, creator Edison Farrow wants guests to engage in this “exciting, quick and non-pressured way to meet other single guys.” Farrow’s official site states that you’ll have three minutes (per guy) to figure out if you’re interested or not. If you’re both interested in each other, you will be connected via e-mail within two days of the event (echoing the two day rule?), and your life together can begin. Space is limited, so register while you can. Visit for more information. 7 p.m. Lords South Beach. 1120 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, 33139.

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Though at times he is a little wishy-washy with his political views, Gene Simmons is a rock god. If “Rock and Roll All Nite” isn’t one of the best rock songs ever made, we don’t know what is. (On a side note, why was Kiss never inducted into The Rock and SATURDAY 8/17 Roll Hall of Fame, but in 2010, ABBA was?) Whether you’re a The Killers broke onto the scene dedicated fan or you’re just lookRemember “Nobody’s Supposed to in 2004 with their popular debut ing to reconnect with your inner album “Hot Fuss.” Now, for many Be Here?” It was probably the big“alt-rocker,” Gene Simmons algest song of 1998, but surprisingly, artists (alt-rockers included), a suc- ways gives you what you want. it stayed at #1 on the Billboard Hot cessful debut album can be a curse. 7 p.m. Kiss. Seminole Hard Rock Fortunately for the Las Vegas band, Casino & Hotel. 1 Seminole Way, R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart for an their fourth studio album, “Battle unprecedented fourteen weeks. Hollywood, 33314. The song made “Cox” a household Born,” was received well by both critics and fans alike: The album name in the late 90’s (we can only debuted at #3 on the US Billboard imagine all of the “Mom I need new Cox” conversations that went 200, and their single “Runaways” Kiss at Hard Rock Live (8/18) was voted the song of the summer down), and her song went on to in 2012 by Rolling Stone readers. hold the record for longest run While “Battle Born” was just reat #1 on Billboard Hot R&B until leased in September of last year, Mary J. Blige’s “Be Without You” the band has already announced in 2006. Yes, she held the record that they are already working on a for eight whole years. Before Justin Bieber, Cox was credited as the follow up with Anthony Gonzalez of M83. Considering The Killers just most successful Canadian R&B played to a crowd of 90,000 people artist. Though Cox lives in Miami, this summer at the Wembley Stashe has spent a good chunk of dium in London, you really don’t time touring as the female lead in want to miss this show. 8 p.m. a revival of “Jekyll & Hyde,” folAmerican Airlines Arena. 601 Bislowed by thirteen weeks of shows cayne Blvd, Miami, 33132. on Broadway. The R&B singer has

Swedes Do It Better



stated that she is currently working on a dance remix of one of her Jekyll & Hyde numbers, “Someone Like You.” The big performance is Jay Z and Justin Timberlake are partly in celebration of The Manstill riding high on the success of their 2013 albums, so co-headlining or’s recent renovations. The club states that they’ve also augmented a tour only seems natural for the two hip hop moguls. It’s no “Watch their bigger space with additional lighting packages. For more inforthe Throne,” but the collaboration mation visit themanorcomplex. is still a nice addition to both artists’ resumes. Though “Magna Car- com. 10:30 p.m. The Manor. 2345 Wilton Dr, Wilton Manors, 33305. ta Holy Grail” has been receiving mixed reviews from critics, the album has still done well: The album debuted at number one on the BillIcona Pop’s “I Love It” is the board 200 and sold 528,000 copies song you love to hate. It’s the in its first week, making the album “Tubthumping” of 2013, whether Jay-Z’s thirteenth number one alyou like it or not. The single, which bum. Interestingly enough, though features British pop star Charli Timberlake has been solo for 11 XCX, has brought Icona Pop front years now, “The 20/20 Experiand center for all of America to ence” is only album number three. hear. It was featured on “Snooki & “20/20” was released to nearly Jwoww,” “Girls,” “Vampire Diauniversal critical acclaim, selling ries,” “Glee” and the trailer for the 968,000 in its first week. The “secmovie “Fun Size.” The Stockholm ond half” of the album is planned duo has continued to feed the steto release on September 27, titled reotype of Swedes making perfect “The 20/20 Experience: 2 of 2.” pop tracks (ABBA, Robyn, Ace of Maybe it’s just us. but it seems as Base, The Cardigans, Lykke Li and though Jay will be the one riding Avicii...Just to name a few). The duo the coat tails on this tour. 8 p.m. is touring in anticipation of their deSunlife Stadium. 2269 NW 199th but album, “This Is...,” which is set St, Miami Gardens, 33056. to hit the streets on September 24. 9 p.m. Grand Central. 697 N Miami Ave, Miami, 33136.


Jay Z & Justin Timberlake: Legends of the Summer

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back out through the maze they call a grocery store, take a deep breath and relax. Your path around this maze is quite easy. Most of the healthy choices that you have selected on your list – wink, wink – are mainly located around the outer edges of the store. Healthy produce and dairy abound, as well as choices of select cuts of meats, seafood and other deli-fresh items. Keep focused and don’t start meandering around through more center isles than are needed. This is where you get in trouble and start putting extra items in the cart that aren’t on the list. When choosing items for your next delicious meal, be sure to check the date of freshness. Try to pick the longest date in the future that the item will still be good for retail sale. Be sure to check the quality of the foods in your hand, make sure there are no off colors, smells or odors, or any visible spoilage. After your come back from this shopping adventure and have brought the all the goodness home, be sure to wash and prep any fruits and vegetables for easy grab-and-go snacks and salads. Cut up only half of the vegetables for the week up at a time. Try batch cooking your meals if pressed for time during the week. Cook large batches of the delectable proteins you have just selected, and prepare them in small meal portions. And congratulations. You’ve just taken the first steps to arming your body with the nutrition it craves. Andy Kress is a nationally certified fitness trainer and nutrition counselor and the owner of Kress Fitness Studio. He can be reached at 954-789-3930 or at

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ll too often as I cruise down the grocery store isles, I see people aimlessly strolling through the store without a mere clue what they should be putting in the shopping basket in front of them, ever so leisurely passing by most of the items that should be going in their cart. These folks haven’t a clue that the choices made at this date in time can impact their health for a lifetime. There is, however, hope for these shoppers—and you! Making a few simple changes before going to the grocery store can improve your chances for successful eating throughout the week. Step one, before even leaving the house, come prepared with some sort of list. Write down what you plan to purchase, or put the list on a memo on your phone. Include multiple items that can be used in various dishes throughout the week. The list should have a balance of fresh fruits and vegetables. There should be a variety of several lean proteins. Your list should also include some Superfoods such as any fish oil or food containing Omega 3’s, nuts, quinoa, avocados and extra virgin olive oil. Try to keep the sugary cereals and snack foods to a minimum, but do NOT cut them out completely. Do that, and you’ll only end up binging out on those foods later. If you are still having trouble making a list or coming up with ideas for what to buy, try to take stock of the nutritional value of the foods you like. Try to choose foods that contain a high level of nutrients in relation to calories. The information is right there for you to discover on the nutrition label on the back of the container. Now that you have got your list – in hand mind you – and have ventured






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medium heat. Stir often. Transfer everything to the blender. Taste. Add salt and pepper, maybe a little more olive oil. Serve and enjoy!


his soup is amazing. Light, velvety, creamy. You will love it. Zucchini is the star of this soup, and it definitely changes from the usual way we cook it. It is so simple! In France, “La Vache Qui Rit” (the Laughing Cow) is very popular brand of cheese. They even sell it in a mini cube version, to be served as an aperitif. They’re called apericubes. The flavors of apericubes range from blue cheese, to goat cheese and rosemary, olive, tomato or ham. I love them! • 1 onion coarsely chopped • 2 shallots sliced • 4 big zucchinis, peeled and sliced • 1 or 2 tbsp of olive oil • Thyme • Salt and pepper to taste • 2 pints of water • A cube of chicken stock (optional) • 4 portions of Laughing Cow cheese Heat the olive oil in a saucepan & brown the onions and shallots on high heat. Then add the zucchini and water; chicken stock if you are using it (you are the chef); the thyme and, of course, the cheese. Boil for about 15 minutes on





Although born in Dublin, Ireland, Chef Jean Doherty spent most of her life in Lyon, France, the gastronomical capital of the world. Together with Vero, her partner of 25 years, Jean has owned and run multiple restaurants including Fort Lauderdale’s Le Patio.

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BY GRANT JAMES /floridaagenda




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t was a dark, rainy day when we stepped in for lunch at Rendez-Vous. Though the roads were slick, I was hungry for some comfort food, and seeing as French food is notoriously snuggly, I knew Rendez-Vous was a solid option. Though it has seen many changes over the years (menu, décor and staff), Rendez-Vous still maintains their taste and charm. We started out with onion soup ($6), which is one of my personal favorites. Fortunately, it did not disappoint. The broth was fresh and rich without being too salty, but lets be honest, the real star is the delicious, gooey melted cheese on top. If onion soup doesn’t do it for you, the restaurant offers a soup of the day (or “soup du jour” if you will) as well ($5). After we finished the soup, we decided to try a Quiche Lorraine ($9) before ordering our entrees. When the delicious open-faced pastry came, I was floored. It was authentic quiche, not the kind you buy frozen at a grocery store. You can actually tell that the chef made it from scratch. The bacon and ham gave the dish a smokey flavor which was nicely complimented by the savory, crispy crust. We decided we had to order our entrees as soon as possible: We were starting to get full. For our main entrees, we ordered a French Dip sandwich ($11) and a Chicken Florentine crepe ($12). While we waited, we enjoyed some fresh bread (huzzah for carbs) that was out of

this world. Yes, more food. What can we say? We like our French food. When my crepe came out, I swear I felt some temporary euphoria. The Chicken Florentine crepe is what dreams are made of: Chicken, spinach, mushrooms and a Bechamel sauce. Bechamel is considered one of the five “mother sauces” of French cuisine, and we can see why. We seriously want to take a bath in this sauce, but we know that would be both expensive and fattening. The white sauce brought together the spinach, mushroom and chicken, creating the perfect combination of rich flavors. The French Dip was served on crusty bread that doubled as dam, trapping the juices and melted provolone inside. The roast beef was tender and pink, and the au jus was just as savory as the Bechamel sauce. We were stuffed to the gills. But what about desert you say? You mean you’re still hungry after all of that rich French cuisine? Okay, we admit it, we ordered various desert pastries to go (made fresh daily). We just couldn’t be seen eating another bite out in public. While it’s likely because we were officially full, the comfort of the comfort foods was setting in and we were finally relaxed/sedated. We recommend bringing your appetite when coming to Rendez-Vous because finishing all of our food was definitely a challenge. Make sure you tell them Florida Agenda sent you.




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High Tech, Low Drama






A typical date night might be a little less than predictable, with our last outing a hot flick at the local Capitol Drive-in (3630 Hillcap Ave). Retro, fun and buttered popcorn that will make your night, if your date does not. Feel like dancing? Head to Brix (349 S 1st St) and enjoy the beat of house techno for a variety of top deejays. Inside in the loft-like space or outside on the patio— two types of hot! Go-go boys and girls adorn the bar. Yes, touching is allowed. And no cover charge ever. Over at the venerable Splash Video and Dance Bar (65 Post St), there are two floors of happy. For those still inclined to continue the cigarette habit, there is a rooftop deck that also is extremely cruisy (if you don’t mind smokers). Plus, some of the strongest drinks in town. When it’s time to graze, head immedi-

ately to our favorite hangout: La Victoria (131 W Santa Clara St). Better known as La Vic, this Mexican restaurant has morphed itself from a tiny taqueria near San Jose State University into a must-taste destination. Yes, there will most likely be a line; and yes, you will roll your eyes and wonder if we’ve lost our collective minds. Behave, wait, and you’ll understand after you get your first taste of the legendary La Vic Orange Sauce, which seems to work on every dish. It doesn’t hurt they have the cutest servers in town, as a P.S. to the fine food. For workouts, 24 Hour Fitness San Jose (1825 Hillsdale) is your gym of choice. Plenty of activity in the steam and showers, so be prepared to show and tell. And, yes, they do have excellent workout facilities as well, with day rates available. For an extra discount, tell them Florida Agenda sent you.

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o you know the way to San Jose?” asked Dionne Warwick in the 1968 Burt Bacharach hit. For all its fame as the Capital of Silicon Valley, not many vacationers, gay or otherwise, either know the answer to the question or find themselves heading toward San Jose, ranked as the 11th largest city in the U.S. And that really is a shame for this city is truly a hidden gem located less than fifty miles from San Francisco. Part of San Jose’s image problem is that, until recently, it didn’t have a thriving downtown area in which to play. With recent renovations and restoration, however, all that has changed, and it’s the perfect time to check out the progress this city has made as it shows off its glow dur-

ing San Jose’s Pride 2013, that will be held this year on August 17th and 18th at Discovery Meadow Park in downtown. An extra bonus this year is the Matrimonial Grove, complimentary marriages performed by chaplains and ordained ministers. It does require a quick trip to the Santa Clara Clerk-Recorder Office to obtain a marriage license, but that’s a mere formality compared to wedded bliss. The theme for 2013 is “Strength in Diversity” and this city has plenty to showcase in its multi-cultural LGBT community. For those who may have missed the point, Silicon Valley is full of big league internet/media companies like Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Yahoo, which means that San Jose is full of very smart and very well paid gays and lesbians. Perfect partner material abounds here and pickings are excellent. /floridaagenda /floridaagenda



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Continued from page 10

What is the worst thing about the gay dating scene? If any one thing is to blame for destroying gay dating, it’s New York City. I literally had to outsource to another city to find a boyfriend. You’ve landed a man! Congratulations! He’s the most wonderful, giving and caring man I have ever met. In fact, when he met my mother, she said, “He’s so nice and kind. What the hell is he doing with someone like you?” My thoughts exactly. I’m a very lucky guy. Did you meet on Grindr? No, I have been off Grindr since January. I would never say anything bad about Grindr, but one time, when I was around 28 years old, a guy on Grindr told me I looked forty. This was of course, before I started getting Botox, so while I was offended, I quickly called my dermatologist and scheduled an appointment for the very next day. Do you still frequent the gym? I don’t. I kicked it up a level and now I do Barry’s Boot Camp. They knock the s**t right out of you. The first time I did it, I was walking crooked for a few days afterwards.

What are you most angry about these days? Oh God, pretty much everything.

In your last memoir, Blackouts and Breakdowns, you came clean about your addictions. Can you relate to Glee’s Cory Monteith? I was very upset to hear of his passing. Being an addict and alcoholic, I know how difficult it is to get sober and stay sober. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and when someone loses that battle, my heart just breaks. It also annoys the f**k out of me when people say, “He got what was coming to him.” Hello, a******s! No one wakes up in the morning and says, “You know what I want to do for the rest of my life? Smoke crack! And ruin every relationship and good thing I’ve got going for me.” Addiction is a disease and it’s moronic that more people don’t educate themselves on just how hard it is for people to clean up their acts. What is one thing you would never change about yourself? My bad ass attitude and my willingness to take off my clothes for any reason in any situation even when I’m stone cold sober. Do you remain foul mouthed and sassy? Fuck yea, I do. I have to be sassy in order to sell books to middle aged mid-western housewives. And if I have to show some leg, then so be it. What food takes you to your happy place? I start a diet every Monday and usually lose it around 3:14pm every Monday when I decide to eat a pint of ice cream or a bucket of fried chicken. But cake will forever and ever always be my go-to-happy place food. I love a nice cake, I really do. Follow Mark on Twitter at MarkBRosenberg.

August 14, 2013 H 29

What is one thing that you would most like to change about yourself? You know, I have kind of moved past wanting to change what’s on the outside. After you hit 30, you kind of come to terms with how you look and respect your flaws for what they are. If I were to change anything, it would be my Homer Simpson like rage that comes out of nowhere for no reason at all.

While we have made some wonderful strides for gay rights in the past few months, everything else is kind of gross and disgusting. Apparently racism is fashionable again in the summer of 2013. I’m talking about Paula Deen and everyone on this season of Big Brother.

went a bit too far attempting to get back at someone and once I got my way, I realized it wasn’t worth it at all. Life doesn’t work that way. Getting back at people doesn’t make you feel better in the long run.


Eating Out: Mark Rosenberg Dishes Out A Hilarious New Memoir

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Florida Agenda Issue 195  

Gay South Florida's Newspaper of Record