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NEWS:

SCIENCE:

The University of Exeter Fee

The Art of Conservation

2010: £9000

Because life is beautiful, and now

A three-fold increase in debt for

conserving life can be beautiful too.

Exeter students...

REVIEWS: BOOKS: Night Waking Tackles big issues, yet it is wholly accessible and gently paced. iSSuE 18 mArCh 14th

SPORTS: Bottle Match Find out the results from the 109th bottle match weekend

GAMING: NBA2K11 One of the best sports games out there!

FEATURES: Justin Bieber Find out what some people really think of Justin Beiber.

FILM:

ARTS:

TV:

Paul Genuinely hilarious: ET better

An Artists’ Colony A place to

Series five of Skins begins, but

watch out, there’s a new kid on the

soften the blow between leaving art

lacks the original debauchery.

block.

college and the big wide world.

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NEWS

F

LEX Newspaper’s eighteenth issue is here! I hope you have a great read! Of interest to myself are the FXU elections. Having been president last year, I know the highlights and challenges that is demanded of the role. The team work ethic, the student focus, the university / TCS relations to manage, on top of anything and everything. All of this goes on under the presence of what you see of the FXU team. One highlight for FXU’s year is their elections. Make sure to read about all the candidates in the FXU pages in this issue! Last year, the presidents set records in the elections. They achieved the second highest voter turnout in the UK, ever, with 36.2%– and were marginally beaten by Exeter Streatham campus. This year, the voter turnout will present a figure that will act as a gage to see how the influence of FXU has impacted on students. Will you be voting because people have coaxed you with a lollipop? Will you be voting because you want the right person to represent you at University? Will you be voting because the candidate is your friend? Will you be voting because everybody else is doing so?! Whatever your reason for

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his edition of FLEX brings us the breaking news of Exeter’s decision to increase their fees to £9000 a year. For most students, this is not great news, and current figures suggest this might be the same for the government. It is estimated that only 30% of students will be able to repay the loan, meaning that this increase, will not only lumber students with insurmountable debt before they are in the job industry, but the government will never get this extra money back. The decision of NUS president Aaron Porter not to run for leader again, suggests that the future looks bleak for the next generation of students. Was the election of the Conservatives in the time of a recession a very bad idea? This editor thinks so. The Liberal Democrats have proved to be a revolving wall, so perhaps it’s time for Labour to take the helm once again.

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his issue, turn to Art & Design for new Illustration editor Annah Legg’s interview with Todd Stewart; second-year Press and Editorial Editor Georgina Mallett’s moving yet shocking portrait of a woman’s acceptance of her changed body following surgery; a selection of poetry by Creative Writing editor Jemma Green and finally another fascinating insight into the creative world in Fine Art editor John-Paul Somerville’s article about the artist colony Maker Heights. Lifestyle offers new recommendations for this month, including Adele’s new album, wearing spring colours and visits to the beach! Also, our fashion writers examine the recent

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isclaimer: The opinions expressed in FLEX are not necessarily those of FLEX Editors or the team, nor FXU Students Union. Every care is taken to ensure information is correct in each issue, but when it is incorrect, FLEX cannot accept any liability for the incorrect

voting, you should be thinking about what you get from FXU, and what the new candidates are promising they will be able to do for you. It is the essence of student representation to make sure you are being represented by strong leaders. Next year, you will need to see that the presidents are undertaking their manifesto points as stated now, and are working for their status! The president will be dedicated, hard working, putting in extra hours, and working for the good of the student body. Be sure to question this as you live your student years. So, go to fxu.org.uk and cast your vote on which president you want to represent your next year at Uni. Enjoy reading. Managing director

Ian Pogonowski,

On a lighter note, our reviews section brings you more of the best out there, with special attention to Sarah Moss’s Night Waking, a fantastic story about the darker sides of life, and an interview with the author herself. In addition to this, some more columns for your delectation. If you want to take one of these columns in the future, email ag335@ex.ac.uk, and let me know which one you want to take on!

Chief Editor

Anna Grant Casey show season, with Michael Swann presenting a critical view of New York fashion week. Hope you enjoy reading this issue!

Chief Editor

Seren Adams

information. The publisher cannot accept any liability for loss or damage of artwork submitted. The content in FLEX is the property of FLEX. If you wish to use any content, please contact the managing director.

FLEX STAFF Managing Director Ian Pogonowski- 07854 087536 imp202@exeter.ac.uk Chief Editors Anna Grant-Casey - ag335@ex.ac.uk Seren Adams - sa118778@falmouth.ac.uk Paul Tucker - pt249@exeter.ac.uk Graphic Designers Omari McCarthy- Design ManagerMorwenna Smith Nadya Pandelieva Rachel Maria Smith Guro Lindahl Flåten Lou Robinson Henry Brown Photographers Andrew Guest Eleina May Jack Scott Michael Etherington

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News Anna Grant-Casey - ag335@exeter.ac.uk Rebecca Griffiths - rg121808@falmouth.ac.uk Science Michael Hawkes - Science editor - mh317@exeter.ac.uk Lifestyle Hannah Banks Walker - Lifestyle Editor - hb264@exeter.ac.uk Features Mark Burton - Features Editor - mb349@exeter.ac.uk Sarah Stevenson - Features Editor - SS121826@falmouth.ac.uk Art & Design Catherine Durham - cd122522@falmouth.ac.uk Rhiannon Williams -Illustration Editor rhi_u_williams@hotmail.co.uk Jemma Green - Creative Writing Editor jemmaruthgreen@googlemail.com John-Paul Somerville - Fine Art Editor jpsomerville@msn.com Kayung Lai - Photography Editor - kl119169@falmouth.ac.uk

Reviews Dora Eisele - Reviews Editor - de224@exeter.ac.uk Alex Raffle - Reviews Editor - alex.raffle1@gmail.com Emma Thompson -Reviews Editor - et246@exeter.ac.uk Sports Chris Rushton - Sports Editor - cr267@exeter.ac.uk Proofing Team Charis Bryant - Copy Editor Anna Grant-Casey - Proofing Manager Kathryn Hosking Dominique le Grange Anna Kilcooley Emma Chafer Samantha Webster Becca Hadfield Marketing Kaylie Finn - kf228@exeter.ac.uk


news@flexnews.co.uk

news

Exeter Tuition fees set to rise Text Rebecca Griffiths

As of today, all Exeter students have been notified that the Exeter University will be charging £9,000 a year from 2012. The email stated: “The proposal is, of course, subject to the approval of fair access and widening participation arrangements by the Office for Fair Access (OFFA). As part of these

new arrangements we will be developing a new package of fee waivers and bursaries to encourage more applications from less well-off students. When fee waivers are taken into account, the average tuition fee will be less than £9k. This will better enable us to direct resources at widening participation, fair access and improving the student experience. It is important that students can come and study at Exeter whatever their family background. We are already working with the Students’ Guild to identify priorities for investing in the student experience, and have set up a new budget scrutiny committee through which they will be able to work with us to establish priorities for investment. The proposal to charge £9k has been endorsed by Council (our governing body) and considered at a special meeting of Senate earlier this week. The proposal was set following extensive market research and evaluation of all the options. It is already becoming clear from public announcements that a number of

leading universities are intending to charge £9k. It is important to remember that, although the tuition fee is rising, there is no upfront cost for future students who will repay the fee only when they have graduated and are earning more than £21k a year. Above this amount, repayment will be at 9% of income and debt will be forgiven after 30 years. It is estimated that only 30% nationally will repay the whole fee. We felt that it was important to signal Exeter’s intent to charge £9k as early as possible so that we could begin planning for 2012 with certainty. I am sure you will share our confidence that Exeter should seek to be in the same fee bracket as universities such as Oxford, Cambridge and Imperial, which have already signalled their intent to charge the full amount.” Although this will not affect current students in any way, it documents the rather expensive future of all Higher Education platforms.

Cameron’s View? Text Frances Ivens A new online project ‘YouTube World View’, in association with Aljazeera, is hosting an interview every month with a different world leader- using questions submitted by the public via video link, text or email. In January, President Obama was the first world leader to be interviewed, followed by David Cameron in February. The questions submitted range from international issues to domestic policy, such as regulation of bankers and graduate unemployment. In the case of Mr Cameron, there was particular emphasis on the current situation in Libya and the Middle East. The system is an accessible means of communication between leader and public, on the whole providing succinct

answers to some of the main issues affecting the world today, both national and international. The interviews also raise questions which may not be so openly discussed in other political forums, such as; the relationship between Israel and the UK, in comparison to Iran and the UK regarding nuclear power. However, the questions which appeared to be the most insightful were those at the end, titled- “Three Big Questions”. Here the leaders have no pre-arranged answers, but are caught almost off the cuff, and are forced to answer on a more personal level. The best example of this was Mr Cameron’s answer to the question, “If you could ask one question to a world leader, what

would it be and to whom?” His response, “to Colonel Gaddafi: what on earth do you think you are doing. Stop it.”, contrasted to his previous ambiguous rhetoric on the issue. It provided a much needed, if not official, stance on Gaddafi’s current actions. While voicing, in no uncertain manner, what the majority of the global population are presumably thinking. The series is definitely worth a watch; not only as a useful summary of the key political issues of the day, but also to provide a little more insight into the people we have chosen to lead us through them.

Where do we stand? Text Charlotte Presland

A new online project ‘YouTube World View’, in association with Aljazeera, is hosting an interview every month with a different world leader- using questions submitted by the public via video

link, text or email. In January, President Obama was the first world leader to be interviewed, followed by David Cameron in February. The questions submitted range from international issues to domestic policy, such as regulation of bankers and graduate unemployment. In the case of Mr Cameron, there was particular emphasis on the current situation in Libya and the Middle East. The system is an accessible means of communication between leader and public, on the whole providing succinct answers to some of the main issues affecting the world today, both national and international. The interviews also raise questions which may not be so openly discussed in other political forums, such as; the relationship between Israel and the UK, in comparison to Iran and the UK regarding nuclear power. However, the questions which appeared to be the most

insightful were those at the end, titled- “Three Big Questions”. Here the leaders have no pre-arranged answers, but are caught almost off the cuff, and are forced to answer on a more personal level. The best example of this was Mr Cameron’s answer to the question, “If you could ask one question to a world leader, what would it be and to whom?” His response, “to Colonel Gaddafi: what on earth do you think you are doing. Stop it.”, contrasted to his previous ambiguous rhetoric on the issue. It provided a much needed, if not official, stance on Gaddafi’s current actions. While voicing, in no uncertain manner, what the majority of the global population are presumably thinking. The series is definitely worth a watch; not only as a useful summary of the key political issues of the day, but also to provide a little more insight into the people we have chosen to lead us through them.

Stokes re-opens Text Ian Pogonowski After closing down earlier this year, Stokes Greengrocers has re-opened.Now under new management of Argyle Trading Ltd. Stokes can trade again.The Managing Director Simon Harvey commented that, “We will be offering fresh fruit and vegetables

at good prices, and with excellent customer service. We will be looking to stock as much local produce as possible of course.” Falmouth Town Centre manager was delighted that Stokes had re-opened, and that a greengrocer had taken the old trading

space. Students alike will be delighted too, fresh local produce to purchase in high season. Stokes is now open Monday- Saturday 8:30 am – 5pm, and Sundays in peak season.

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NEWS

propEr CorNiSh pASTy Text Chloe Smith The EU has now ruled that the Cornish pasty must be made in Cornwall. After 9 years of fighting by the Cornish Pasty Association, they have finally been granted protected geographical identification. On top of the new rule that the pasty must now be made in Cornwall, there are other strict rules concerning how the pasty should be made, such as it must have a ‘D’ shape and be crimped on one side. Alan Adler, the chairman for the Cornish Pasty Association has said, “By guaranteeing the quality of the Cornish pasty, we helping to protect our British food legacy”. David Rodda from the Cornwall Development Company feels that this move will help protect Cornwall’s economy, stating, “By protecting our regional goods heritage we are protecting local

jobs”. Legislation states that any pasty which hasn’t been prepared in Cornwall will no longer be able to refer to, or sell such pasties as being Cornish. With the new protection surrounding what can be classified as a Cornish pasty, it now holds the same status as Champagne and Parma Ham. There are also a number of other British food products which hold a similar protected status such as, Welsh lamb and Scottish salmon. Having fought since 2002, the Cornish Pasty Association have finally succeeded in preserving the quality and, reputation of the Cornish pasty in the national arena.

ThE poLy VoLuNTEErS Text Rebecca Griffiths

Last year The Poly was closed due to poor funding. Having transformed back to its former glory, The Poly in Falmouth is maintaining a successfully steady income. The most recent sell-

out shows to feature at the centre of arts include; musical Beauty and the Beast from Mars, and live stand-up comedy, Mirth Control. Residing in the heart of Falmouth Town, it is both visited by, and used as a creative medium for students and local residents alike. Therefore it is essential that the surrounding community supports this institution. Most recently The Poly has initiated a volunteer programme. The programme is incredibly varied, promoting experience in many areas including; box office, galleries, PR, marketing, technical and programming. Hours and availability are both wide ranging and flexible. There has recently been an intake of box of-

fice staff, where students and locals of all ages have volunteered for front of house roles. On Saturday 5th March, there will be an open evening introducing the other aspects of working in a creative institution such as The Poly. This will focus on the careers specifically related to the creative industry. Volunteer experience in areas like marketing and events co-ordination will not only support The Poly, but will also prove valuable as experience for obtaining jobs after graduation. For more information go to www.thepoly.org and look for ‘volunteers’.

ShELTErboX rALLy Text Bryony Young Team preparations for the Rally4Shelterbox, 230 mile circumnavigation around Cornwall is now fully under-way. Starting from Falmouth on Saturday 12th March, students will carry a bottle of Skinners Betty Stoggs, as a relay baton around the county in a hope to raise the £5,000 fundraising target. The 230 miles is being carried out by students taking a relay leg each- running, cycling, kayaking and sailing around the county non-stop until completion on Sunday evening. The team hope to complete the rally in less than 36 hours, beating the previous year. Many of the participants have been training hard for the event; Dominic Flint said, “I run regularly as it is and now I am just taking it up a gear to prepare for the 10 miles on Saturday,”. Many of the 60 strong team are feeling quite optimistic- Lee Bassett stated,“ I am going to be cycling, but currently my bike is in pieces and I haven’t done any training, but from what I

can see Padstow to Newquay is all downhill, so we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Henry Wilson, will be swimming 300m across the Fowey river, “ I have a wetsuit but it’s still going to be pretty cold, but it’s good fun and it’s for a good cause”. Alongside the physical training for the event, the team have been busy carrying out street collections in Falmouth and Plymouth raising support for the disaster response charity, Shelterbox. The event’s big boss, Mark Nunn stated, “Thank you so much to everyone that has make it happen so far, the volunteers, Skinners and the generosity of the general public.” The team are hosting a well-deserved after party at The Front in Falmouth on 17th March, (also St Patricks Day), toasting all those who take part. If you would like show your support for the team, visit, www.justgiving.com/Rally4ShelterBox

ThE FiLTEr WANTS you Text Alex Raffle phere, along with VTs to create an all-round entertainment experience. Think back to shows such as TFI Friday and The Tube. The production is being put together in time for a live recording of pilot in the Performance Centre’s Studio A in early May. Alongside preparing the production the team, The Filter have been working with The Poly in Falmouth, filming various events including their comedy night. Once shot, the performances are cut and edited with interviews of performers, then uploaded to The Filter’s website for everyone to see; which has proved particularly useful in featuring sell-out shows that have limited ticket availability. The Filter is currently looking for people across the student

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body to help them produce the show’s theme tune for recording in a project called Filtertune. The idea is to take the collaboration of ideas used to create the show, while involving the audience through the open submission of their music. The deadline for entries is the 31st March and, once all successful entrants have been selected, they will be professionally mixed to create a singular theme tune. The successful entrants will receive free tickets to live filming of the show. All those interested or even the slightest musically inclined, should check out The Filters website for more information on submission and backing track guidelines. The address is: www.thefilter.co.uk


news@flexnews.co.uk

FXu ELECTioNS 2011 Text Ian Pogonowski investment in more gigs, potentially more expensive, or rather see better representation on needs that will affect your future, for example, a careers service? The presidential manifestos are all on www.fxu.org.uk to see. Make up your mind on who you want to represent you next year, and cast your vote before Thursday March 17th 2pm. FLEX asked each candidate running what one word best describes them for the presidential role, and what one word means you should vote for them : After the great hype in FXU elections last year, the pressure is on this year to meet the match. Last year saw 36.2% of students vote at Tremough/Woodlane, which is the second highest in Student Union elections in the UK, first is Exeter Streatham campus. X amount of candidates ran last year, and the winning presidents are getting ready for next year’s team. This year, 8 candidates are running for the 3 president positions. 3 candidates are running for Falmouth President, 3 candidates are running for Exeter President, and 2 candidates are running for Welfare President.

Ultimately, it is up to the presidents to represent their respective students. Being paid a salary of around £15,000, a lot of money is paid to the student representation of everyone; therefore it is up to the presidents to be held accountable to this by you. Every president writes a manifesto, stating what they wish to achieve if “voted in”. A common theme on most manifestos this year, is to bring bigger and better acts, and to increase the quality of the entertainment. But do the entertainments actually need improving? In a time of increased fees, would you, the student, rather see an

• • • • • • • •

Jamie Clark (Falmouth) Dedicated, Belief Jennifer “Mable” Slattery (Falmouth) Determined, Approachable Kalila Storey (Falmouth) Committed, Listen Owen Hind (Exeter) Genuine, Deliver Henry Austwick (Exeter) Passionate, Students Jonathon Harris, Jono (Exeter) Involved, Belief Richard Pearson (Welfare) Caring, People Michael Leverett (Welfare) Passionate, Approachable

TouGh ChoiCES oN immiGrATioN STudENTS Text Owen Hind The government is considering plans to cap the number of foreign students studying in Britain, in what seems to be a neverending upheaval of our university system. The proposals set out by the government come swiftly on the heels of the announced immigration cap last year, meaning a 60% reduction in student visas being issued. The new cap is intended to prevent students obtaining student visas to ‘bogus’ colleges and then disappearing from the system and staying in Britain indefinitely. However it would seem the plan has been poorly thought

out, with the possibility of huge numbers of genuine students being denied study in Britain. Universities are then placed with a tough choice: either lose out on a lucrative revenue stream (foreign students were worth £42 million to British universities last year, and substantially more to the British economy), or explore the option of setting up external foreign campuses. Exeter is well-situated in relation to other universities, since we already have strong links with universities in Singapore and Sharjah in the far East. Therefore the protection of revenue streams should be far simpler.

IF YOU DON’T TELL US WE CAN’T HELP

To report a non-urgent crime or contact STudENTS urGEd To your local ThEir GEAr officer:

Look AFTEr

BY PHONE

IF YOU DON’T TELL US 08452 777 444 ONLINE WE CAN’T HELP www.devon-cornwall.police.uk

To report a non-urgent crime or contact your local officer:

EMAIL

general.enquiries@devonandcornwall.pnn.police.uk In an emergency call 999

BY PHONE

08452 777 444

STUDENTS are being urged to look after their belongings and make sure they are traceable in the event of them being stolen. Devon and Cornwall police is warning that opportunist thieves target student haunts knowing they are likely to have items like laptops and

ONLINE

www.devon-cornwall.police.uk

EMAIL

The situation becomes all the more complicated, however, when specialist courses such as CSM are taken into account. At Tremough, we have a world-leading mining school which attracts students from around the world. It would be irresponsible for the government to prevent students from studying at CSM for the only reason that they are not British nationals. It does however create the interesting possibility of an Exeter Campus set up in Freetown, Sierra Leone teaching the next generation of diamond miners. Year abroad anyone?

expensive mobile phones with them. According to one of the UK’s largest student insurance companies* a student will have £4,000 worth of possessions and often carry items valued at £1,300 with them at any one time. “We know that students are very savvy when it comes to technology and in the modern learning environment it is essential that they have access to items such as laptops,” said PC John Dukes.“But we also know that students can be somewhat naive when it comes to personal security and I would urge all those studying in the region to make sure they are aware of their surroundings when out and about. “It is also a good idea not to draw attention to your expensive equipment that you might be carrying especially items like phones and wallets which are often just placed on tables or bars in full view”. Students are also recommended to mark all property which will improve the chances of its return if stolen. Devon and Cornwall Police supports Immobilise, the world’s largest free register of ownership details which forms a very effective tool in helping to reduce crime and reunite stolen goods with their rightful owners. Members of the public simply register their valued possessions and ownership details are viewable on the police national property database. For further information visit: http://www.immobilise.com/

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NEWS

Human Writes Text Timothy Rooke

The Human Writes Award has been annually held in Devon over the last couple of years. This year they are looking to broaden their boundaries, and incorporate Cornwall. However, the scriptwriting Award is not a student-only project. Exeter’s newly established Centre of Human Rights set up the competition and has launched the project into both Universities and local communities respectively. The aim of the competition is to raise awareness concerning Human Rights. Many people are aware of high profile issues

regarding human violation such as, capital punishment and torture. However, Human Rights are also inclusive of a much wider spectrum of the effects on the everyday individual. A few examples include: Article 2, the right to life; Article 9, freedom of thought, conscience and religion; Article 10, freedom of expression; Article 11, freedom of assembly; and Article 12, the right to marry – (this also covers the right to not be forced into a marriage). 30% of 300 forced marriages a year involve those under 18 years old. The competition opened on 1st March 2011, and the closing date for submission is 1st May 2011. The judges will be looking at a specific set of criteria: the correct application of Human Rights legislation, novelty of that application (i.e. applying human rights to scenarios which wouldn’t normally be associated with HR) and, last but not least, artistic merit. The competition concerns people aged 18 – 25, it’s open to anyone in the age group, whether a resident in Devon and Cornwall, or a student pursuing Higher Education course in either county. The scripts must focus on an issue of human rights which arises from Article 2-14 or Article 1-3 of Protocol 1 of the Human Rights Act. We have law councils in place to advise these

provisions; however, they are quite broad and incorporate many issues. The script can be up to a maximum of 2600 words. After submission, the applications will be looked over and the best will be selected by a panel of academics. The short listed scripts (those selected by the academics), will be performed on 15th June 2011. In terms of performance, short-listed entrants can both stage and direct their entries with their own choice of cast. However they can also rely upon the Actor fund, which provides actors who will perform their works for them. The final performance will be held in Exeter, the location is yet to be confirmed, but will take place in a theatre. The judging panel will include; Andy Hay, former Artistic Director of Bristol’s Old Vic and director of the Emmy-winning TV series Waking the Dead, Nick Gorman who has directed Hollyoaks, Holby City and Casualty, actress Lisa Coleman, and two distinguished Exeter academics. The winner will be rewarded with a £300 cash prize. If you are interested in the competition or have any questions please contact tpjr201@exeter.ac.uk, and scripts should be submitted to scripts@chumanrights.org.uk before 1st May 2011.

Student oscars Text Ian Pogonowski In light of the recent Oscars ceremony, do you feel up to the challenge? There are nationally recognised Student Oscars to win too! The Student Academy Awards is a nationally held competition for college and University student film makers. Prizes include trophies, and cash up to $5000! Based in the USA, film makers from all over the world can submit entries to be judged by a panel of film critics.The judging criteria is split up into four sections that represent four types of

movie: animation, documentary, narrative and alternative. If you are interested in applying for this, there isn’t much time remaining. Foreign (non-American) applicants have to apply by March 24th. Criteria for applications are that a film should not be more than 40 minutes in length. Previous student winners have been Spike Lee, Kathy Zielinski, Robert Zemeckis, Christian Taylor, and many more. For more information, see www.oscars.org and search for the Student Academy Awards.

God’s the Word Text Bryony Young Broadcasting the message of God’s love for students is the aim of the week-long events hosted by the Falmouth Christian Union from 14th to 19th of March. The week will host a range of socials and discussions, at both Woodlane and Tremough Campus, as well as a ‘pudding party’- it is going to be an action packed week. The aim of the Falmouth Christian Union is to spread the

love of God and have this message broadcasted across to all students, the union is open to all students. Events co-ordinator of FCU, Fran Daws said; “This week is open for all students, we have so many exciting events planned, as well as all the event’s being enjoyable, there are opportunities to question and learn about God and Christianity”. Thursday evening will see a small art exhibition, based on

the theme, ‘truth’. All creative students are welcome to display their artwork, so please get in touch with the Union if you would like to display. For more information about Broadcast week, please find us on Facebook and look out for our posters around campus, of if you met us over Diversity week then check out: www.falmouthchristianunion.tumblr.com.

It’s a word beginning with A Text Carly Squires

There has recently been a refreshing focus on a rather fragile subject- planned parenting, specifically, abortion. The ball was set rolling in the White House when the proposal to cut ‘Planned

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Parenthood’ and women’s sex education services was debated. However it was a Congresswoman and California Representative Jackie Spieir, who caught media attention. She provided a highly emotional and inspiring speech, explaining how she herself had, had an abortion. Spieir rebuked the Republican notion suggesting that, “somehow this is a procedure that is either welcomed or done cavalierly, or done without any thought is preposterous”. Spieir highlights the misrepresentation of abortion as a taboo subject, contesting that the decision to abort an unborn child is made with no realisation of responsibility. In preventing the option to even discuss the topic, young people and students especially are not fully informed on how to deal with pregnancy, unwanted or otherwise.

The BPAS (British Pregnancy Advisory Service) explain on that 1 in 3 women will have an abortion by the time that they are 45, and therefore young women need not feel isolated. Accidents can happen, and it is important both women and men know that support is available from their Universities as well as the local community. The BPAS, for example, have an easy-to-use website (www. bpas.org) which provides information on the choices available, while providing links to other related organisations. In terms of Tremough Campus, there is a nurse practitioner available in Glasney Lodge on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday every week. Support and advice concerning a range of sex related health issues is available, including; contraception, sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.


SCIENCE

SCIENCE

Renewable petroleum: holy grail or hopeful fantasy? By Aidan “Swampy” Lawson The constant growing demand for new and novel ways to power modern society never ceases. Fossil fuel consumption is growing in all corners of the world with oil as the main global source of energy, excluding electricity generation. European demand alone is at around 14,000,000 barrels per day according to the International Energy Agency, but as reserves of black gold are becoming more rare and harder to reach, there is a need for new innovations to fill the void in supply.

“ By 2015 Indonesia alone will have over 10,000,000 hectares of palm plantation dedicated to bio-fuel production” The growing biotech industry thinks they may have the answer with a new and almost sci-fi take on the somewhat contentious solution of bio-fuels. Current production of biomass for use in bio-fuel manufacture has been linked with many environmentally destructive practices, most notably land clearance for monoculture fuel crops. By 2015 Indonesia alone will have over 10,000,000 hectares of palm plantation dedicated to bio-fuel production. However, the appeal of bio-fuels for providing clean renewable energy has never been stronger with even

individual households experimenting with old chip fat as an alternative to diesel. It is this ethos and growing need for new energy sources that boffins in the biotech industry have taken as their cue to provide a solution. Bacteria have long been a tool in genetics research but are now taking on a new role as the possible holy grail of renewable fossil fuels through the development of genetic manipulation and biological engineering. Ongoing research aimed at harnessing natural biological processes for the production of clean renewable fuels is now becoming a reality. By manipulating the bacteria’s genes responsible for

production of fatty acids (a common way for organisms to store energy) researchers are able to produce custom hydro-carbon chains (oil) as a by product from altered bacteria such as E.Coli. Although this technology is still in its relative infancy there are many biotech start-up companies taking this approach of genetic manipulation for fuel production. LS9, a company based in California has begun producing clean crude oil without harmful contaminants such as sulphur found in conventionally drilled oil, already a huge step from the current norm. However, their production methods need to be properly trialled on an industrial scale and still require that the crude produced be taken to a conventional refinery for manufacture into a usable product for fuel and production goods, detracting from the green credentials of this process. The technique used by LS9 is just one of many, with other companies looking to produce oil with little, or no need for further processing, therefore increasing the commercial viability for a truly renewable source of oil. As the manufacturing base for countless products we all use in day-to-day life, global transportation, energy and crop production, oil is currently essential for the development of society as a whole. Without the new and innovative ideas of blue sky researchers we will all be doomed back to rubbing sticks together to warm our homes, and with 2012 around the corner and self-assured destruction looming, let’s hope we find the Holy Grail and not Sir Galahad’s chamber pot.

Urine for a treat By Kat Scott Guys, I know what its like- a night out in Club I and you want to smell extra good for that special someone. Well, how about some Eau de Urine for that extra kick? Thought not. Recently, scientists working in South America have discovered that capuchin monkeys urinate on their hands and then vigorously rub it into their fur. According to research published in the American Journal of Primatology, female capuchin brains become more active when this rather unattractive scent (at least to us) hits their noses, and are increasingly likely to mate with male releasing the scent. Urine therefore signals a male’s availability and attractiveness to females, so males appear to regularly douse themselves with their own pee. By use of MRI scanning, scientists were able to show that female brain activity increased when in contact with a recently-scented male. Until recently, it was not believed that capuchins responded to smell, but it seems that social status can be conveyed by the level of testosterone in urine- therefore females can distinguish adult males from juveniles. This discovery could be used to study other new-world primates within South America, and could potentially lead to more exciting discoveries. Despite rigorous research, this method of dating doesn’t appear to work on the female contingent of the human population, so guys make sure you wash your hands after a visit to the gents.

7


SCIENCE

To cull or not to cull? By Anisha Fiona Chandar A decision to cull badgers in the UK might come as early as May as the government puts into action its plans to tackle bovine tuberculosis. Many Cornish farmers fear a cull, as they believe they may be targeted by animal rights activists and protesters if the cull were to take place without strict policing. Bovine tuberculosis is a crippling infectious disease that predominantly affects cattle and is currently costing British taxpayers £74 million per year. The link between badgers and the spread of bovine TB to cattle was first made in 1971 when an infected badger was found on a farm that had been subject to an outbreak. Since then, badgers have been victimised as they are a natural host reservoir of the disease. In Devon and Cornwall in 2009, The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) reported that in excess of 10,000 infected cattle had been slaughtered. As the incidence of bovine TB is rising 18% per year, a clear strategy needs to be in place to attempt to halt the spread of the disease due to its severe economic impact. How effective will a badger cull be on controlling the spread of bovine TB in cattle? Critically, in 2007 the Independent Scientific Group prepared a report on the efficiency of bovine TB control programmes in the UK using data from a study

involving badgers known as the Randomised Badger Culling Trial. This report came to two essential conclusions, stating that “badger culling can make no meaningful contribution to cattle TB in Britain” and that “cattle themselves contribute significantly to the persistence and spread of the disease in all areas where TB occurs”. More crucially, research has indicated that culling badgers disturbs their social structure

causing them to disperse out of the localised area, increasing further spread of the disease. Surely these well-informed findings and other relevant studies are enough to justify imposing a permanent ban on badger culling in the UK? There has however been some evidence pointing towards a fall in bovine TB in areas where effective culls have taken place. The Conservative-led government suggests that bovine tuberculosis is the “most pressing animal health problem in the UK today”, with ministers indicating that we are indeed heading towards a cull. This decision is not welcomed by everyone, however, as DEFRA suggests that public opinion is firmly against such a move. It is hoped that in the future, wildlife and agriculture can work together with neither side being persecuted. More recently, studies suggest that a vaccine against bovine TB could reduce the occurrence of bovine TB in badgers by 74%. However, obstacles stand in the way of this vaccine as at present, as there is no practical way to administer it to the badger population. More research needs to be developed to enhance the prospects of the vaccine as a counter-strategy to culling. Fundamentally, the decision to cull should be based on sound evidence to ensure that it is the best possible option for all involved.

The art of conservation By Michael Hawkes A horde of human bodies wreathed in coral rests motionless

ecosystems on the planet. Around one quarter of all marine life

on the ocean floor, many posed frozen while seemingly going

on Earth can be found on coral reefs, but threats like ocean

about their daily business. Some stand with patient arms

acidification and climate change mean that corals could face

crossed as if waiting to reawaken, while others stroke their

functional extinction within 50 years. One method employed

chins in contemplative deep thought. This may sound like the

to encourage the growth of new coral is the construction of

site of a horrific natural disaster, but it’s actually a hauntingly

artificial reefs.

beautiful art installation in the coastal waters of Cancun.

Artificial reefs can be made from a variety of materials

Jason de Caires Talor’s “The Silent Evolution” is a fusion of

from metal to car tyres, and many are even made from the

art and conservation, aiming to raise awareness of endangered

sunken wrecks of unlucky ships. In this case, however, the

coral species in a provocative and engaging way. The artist

artist chose cement, an excellent material for artificial reef

creates lifelike, pH-neutral cement statues of local people

construction, recommended by research from the University

and submerges them in the ocean, creating artificial reefs that

of Miami because of its durability and ability to encourage the

both endangered wildlife and interested divers can enjoy.

growth of coral most similarly to natural reefs.

Coral reefs are one of the most productive and endangered

De Caires Taylor has also sunk installations at other sites

in Mexico and the West Indies, and the result is an often disturbing but ceaselessly breathtaking underwater seascape of human figures encouraging the growth of endangered species. The installations are a striking metaphor for how humanity is ultimately rooted in the natural world and they urge us to act as agents for its conservation. However, the eternally closed eyes of the statues, their human form reclaimed by nature under the waves, serve as a warning of what the artist believes may come to pass if our exploitation of the natural world continues. Research by Mark Baine, a marine biologist from the University of Papua New Guinea, concluded that while artificial reefs often fail to meet their objectives, careful planning and management could ensure they are successful tools for conservation. While the ecological management of an art installation is likely to be a low priority, scientific outreaches through other mediums such as this are essential to help spread a message that so desperately needs to be heard. To see more fantastic images visit Jason de Caires Taylor at http://www.underwatersculpture.com/

8


FEATURES

AV or not AV – That is the question Text: Marja Green

Image courtesy of Paul Kehrer

An important clause of the coalition agreement, the upcoming referendum on our electoral system, is an historic event, considering the sheer frequency of past national referendums in Britain: one. Changing the way our votes are counted has the potential to change politics radically. The problem lies in the fact that publicity for the vote has been suspiciously limited. Here I attempt to lay out some of the information needed to help make an informed vote on May 5th. First, the old system: First Past the Post (FPTP). Every constituency produces one candidate. If you don’t vote for the winner, your vote gets ‘lost’ – or ‘wasted’ for the cynic.

There have always been major discrepancies between the number of votes a party receives and the resulting seats in parliament. There is an inherent winner-take-all bonus that is supposed to ensure a strong single party government which is a powerful tool if people vote for either of the two big parties. It doesn’t work as well for the little parties though. Consider the Liberal Democrats in the last election: although they won 23% of the votes they only gained about 9% of seats in parliament! Under the current system, if you live in a constituency that is traditionally secured by a Conservative MP and you do not vote Conservative, your vote will not be reflected in parliament simply because you are registered within the boundaries of said constituency. The majority of us live in these so-called ‘safe seats’. Those who really decide then are a handful of people in these non-safe seats, where there is a close race between two candidates and politicians have a genuine interest in campaigning and appealing to voters. As long as they win the most votes, a party can still win the majority of seats with less than 40% of the total vote.

To be honest, the Alternative Vote (AV) system will make things only slightly fairer, but fairer nonetheless.

To win a majority of seats, a party will need at least 50% of the votes. So yes, it may not be a revolution but your opportunity to voice support for a fairer system will probably not come up again in your lifetime. Frankly, the big parties do not have an interest in reforming the system. But you do (and so do the Lib Dems). Of course, there is the argument around that FPTP produces a single party majority that is truly accountable to the public. Well, theoretically parties only have to care about the people who traditionally vote for them. As long as these core voters stay loyal, the governing party can neglect those who didn’t vote for them. This may be a slightly harsh portrayal, but just think about how hard this government is fighting for student votes and you start to get the picture. The No To AV group claims the change of electoral systems would cost £250m with the referendum costing £90m alone. The director of the campaign Matthew Elliott indignantly claimed that this rate of spending was just not appropriate in times when the public is expected to tighten its belt.

parties into parliament? Yes, they have a chance of getting in but if these parties represent some people’s opinion why shouldn’t they be involved? All other European countries grant the parties seats proportional to the vote they received. Their presence in parliament (IF they get in) can also expose them. Up until now they have enjoyed the privilege of their policies not being subject to a ‘reality check’. In parliament, they might be pressured into formulating actual policies, and demands like deporting all foreigners – the infamous BNP proposal – seem a bit outlandish. The problem is that the FPTP system promotes a culture of two parties which no longer reflects British society. There might be some radical voices heard in parliament but a multiplicity of opinions can also lead to – if not a better result – then surely one that is more representative.

My point is that fair voting is priceless and is simply a ‘must-have’ if we claim to live in a democracy.

Correction

Generally, the more parties that compete, the more disproportional the result. Nationwide the support for the two main parties is declining and more hung parliaments are likely in the future. The consequence is that by marking your cross for one party you don’t make clear which government you’d like there to be. A Lib Dem vote could unexpectedly end up propping up a Conservative government, for instance. That would be strange, wouldn’t it? The AV system would make sure votes are not ‘wasted’. You state your preferences so that in the event of no candidate receiving the majority of votes, everyone’s second preference can be considered. This means no more tactical voting or choosing the lesser of two evils. This is all well and good, but will AV bring extremist

The Article '21st Century Fox' by Nicholas Barrett was published in the previous issue with the final paragraph missing. The article should have continued as follows: News Corp maintains the profits of some of the biggest television and film studios in the world. Rupert might be losing power and influence faster than at any point in his career, but he has always proved to be crafty and intelligent, and few have ever succeed by discounting him. His critics may accuse him of being out of touch, with a greedy and self-indulgent loyalty to print, but they can’t say that he’s often called it wrong. This 21st century fox might be looking like a 21st century dinosaur, but he can still bite.

9


features@flexnews.co.uk

Interview: Cornwall Anti-Cuts Alliance Jake O’Leary speaks to Josiah Mortimer of the Cornwall Anti-Cuts Alliance to find out more about local resistance to government funding cuts.

With Cornwall Council voting on 15th February to reaffirm the emergency budget it set out in December, cuts to jobs and public services are about to start hitting the county hard. But a local student-led group has come together in Falmouth and Truro to campaign against austerity measures in Cornwall. What is the Cornwall Anti-Cuts Alliance (CACA)? In the light of massive cuts to jobs and services in Cornwall, Cornwall Anti-Cuts Alliance was founded in late 2010 by students from Falmouth and Truro to create a grassroots campaign in the county against the ConDem government's reckless economic policies. Originally about tuition fees, the group has now expanded and is a major platform for trade unionists, parents, claimants, activists and anyone else who wants to get involved in the fight against the cuts. What are some examples of budget cuts announced by Cornwall Council and how will they affect local communities? Everyone knows about the tripling of tuition fees and the scrapping of EMA, both of which will have a detrimental impact

on young people. Cornwall itself is making immensely damaging cuts, though. One of the most disturbing cuts Cornwall Council is making is a 40% cut to the Supporting People scheme, which supports over 1500 homeless and vulnerable people in Cornwall. Even Eric Pickles condemns large cuts to the scheme - yet the council have decided to slash the budget by an unthinkable amount. On top of this, nearly 1000 council workers are being laid off - with attacks on the job conditions of those not sacked through pay freezes, while VAT is up and inflation rising. Leisure services are being cut by 29%, libraries by a quarter. The Council say front line services are not going to be hit, but the sheer speed and scale of these cuts mean they will be hit badly. What alternatives to the cuts does CACA propose? Locally, the cuts being made can be avoided. The Unitary Council has considerable borrowing powers, but what is most shocking is that there is £127m in reserves. If the council used these reserves and borrowing powers to protect communities in Cornwall the council could stop the cuts. As well as doing this, it is vital that the council vote down the cuts budget and instead set a 'needs' budget,

sending a strong message to the Conservativeled government that we will not accept any affront against ordinary working people. But as organisations such as UK Uncut have shown, there are also national alternatives to the cuts. Tax-dodging costs the tax-payer an estimated £120 billion a year. And yet the government is sacking a quarter of HMRC staff - the ones who can reclaim these lost billions. Trident - Britain's unwanted, unusable and unnecessary nuclear weapons system - will cost £76bn over the next forty years, and is already costing us over £2bn a year. The war in Afghanistan - over £2bn a year. Most promisingly, a tiny tax on banking transactions - the Robin Hood Tax - would generate £20bn. What we need is a real alternative though, and that is why it is essential that it is not students, the elderly and the unemployed who should be paying for the financial crisis. It is the rich and the bankers who should pay for the financial mess they caused.

and we are encouraging as many people as possible to come to these meetings and condemn the hugely disruptive shake-up of our NHS. The biggest aim is to get as many as possible up to the TUC-organised 'March for the Alternative' on 26th March in London. Coaches are going from all over the county - Falmouth included. As well as that, we are leafleting and petitioning regularly in Truro, working with UK Uncut (with actions planned for the next few months) and lobbying councillors and MPs. Cornwall Anti-Cuts Alliance meet fortnightly at Truro Railway Club - there are more details on the website. Where can people go to find out more information and how can they get involved? Cornwall Anti-Cuts Alliance can be found online at cornwallanticutsalliance.wordpress. com and emailed at canticall@gmx.co.uk. We're also searchable on Facebook.

What upcoming events are CACA planning? One major cause for concern is the privatisation of healthcare in Cornwall. The Primary Care Trusts will be scrapped and turned into ‘social enterprises’. Currently the consultation for these changes is happening,

Students are already active in the campaign but it is vital that as many get involved as possible. The recent uprisings in Egypt and Tunisia and the government's U-turns on forestprivatisation and Bookstart show that people power can make a monumental difference.

Don’t ‘Belieb’ the hype Matthew Smylie assesses the phenomenon that is Justin Bieber whilst also revealing his own possible anger issues.

Justin Bieber. Cultural touchstone of the noughty teens. The icon of pop. Usher’s mate. Justin Bieber has become, and is rapidly growing into more of, a cultural phenomenon, with young girls over the world fainting at the mere mention of his name, stadiums selling out and his film ‘Never say never’ ripping through the box office in a way even a Spielberg couldn’t hope to do. But, there is an elephant in the room. The elephant being that Bieber is terrible and the room being the legions of young adults who have taken it upon themselves to despise the new prince of pop. Student opinion of the pint-sized pop prince isn’t exactly positive:

“Cocky little shit who thinks his shit don’t stink. Also, he thinks he is a god of gash when he is nothing but a jumped up, spoilt, helmet-haired FUCK.”

This is just one example of the bile, the oozing hatred, the venom, spat at young Mr Bieber by the young adults of the world. So, what is it? What is it within that young man’s cherubic face, his carefree and innocence laden lyrics and his carefully choreographed dance moves that makes him so easy to despise? Well, I would have to say that I think it is

those things exactly. It is his angelic, ‘butter wouldn’t melt’, face that seems to be lodged firmly up his own arse, meticulously planned hair and all, hair that, when trimmed earlier this week, was given more publicity than the ongoing plight of Libyans under the tyranny of Colonel Gadaffi. It is the naive and manufactured lyrics and dance moves that lack any soul, any heart, any creativity, and instead prove to be a product of the corporate machine represented by other such things as Simon Cowell, the overbearing parents on ‘Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents’ and more. In fact, “Baby, baby, baby oh” aren’t lyrics. That is just the word ‘baby’ repeated three times and followed by ‘oh’ and the only other time that would happen in life is during sex and we all know, because he is ‘the Biebs’, ‘the Biebster’, ‘Biebers and cheese’ that he would not have sex before marriage. So, he’s a liar, as well.

“I hate the Bieber product. He's so commercialised that he comes across as brainwashed in interviews.”

from country to mind-expanding country, performing to hundreds and thousands of people. Yet, he doesn’t know what Germany is? “What’s that?” was his response to a question about the country. So, he’s not only dreadful and a liar, he is also an idiot. I have even offered ‘The Biebo’ a chance for his voice to be heard. To maybe give us a little self-deprecatory joke, along the lines of “Oh, course you trendy young teens hate me. I would hate me too if I was in your shoes, you know? I’m just a well paid cog in a larger machine. A’ight, just going to listen to the latest ‘Strokes’ album. Being a corporate prick has its perks. Laters, non-beliebers.” Something along those lines. I tweeted him:

“@justinbieber why do you think people hate you? Not the kids. Just the respectable adults, cool and intelligent people. Why do they?”

Did he find the time to reply? Of course he didn’t.

He’s mates with Usher, Rihanna and The Rock. He’s been to more ‘trendee’ parties that I could ever dream of. He’s travelled Image courtesy of Jake Auzzie

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FEATURES

The Curious Case of Julian Assange Text: Nick Barrett

Since the start of their continuing release late last year, a quarter of a million American diplomatic cables have been leaked to the world’s press. In recent months, coverage of their actual content seems to have dwindled; the story of Wikileaks has been vastly overshadowed by the on-going soap opera that is Julian Assange. The Australian cyberactivist, chief executive of the whistle-blowing phenomenon, has recently lost his appeal against extradition to Sweden to stand trial for allegations of rape. It is thought that this decision will make it easier for US authorities to charge Assange with espionage, and his many supporters fear that this decision is simply a means to expose him to the full wrath of the United States government.  While cyber attacks on Wikileaks and its online enablers have stopped, so too have to flow of cables.  When the releases began back in late November the Guardian newspaper and website devoted large swathes of their leading pages to the news on a daily basis, before it spilled over to the BBC and other outlets. Now, however, these scandalous stories are nowhere to be seen, and Wikileaks have published barely 3% of what they have. 

The publishing of confidential political documents online is a symptom of the Internet’s growth and would have happened at some stage, with or without the involvement of Julian Assange. Now that these online leaks are possible they’re bound to become a recurrent event, through Wikileaks or any other site that takes its place.  Instead of trying to stop the leaks at source, i.e. by correcting their reprehensible conduct, Western powers immediately opted to enter into an ultimately unwinnable game of whacka-mole by attempting to shoot down Wikileaks and all the sites that mirrored its content. They failed. Through their actions, the states in question have proved that they have no interest in adapting to the online new world they find themselves in.  For instance, at the time of writing private Bradley Manning has been imprisoned in solitary confinement for 280 days, in conditions Amnesty International describe as ‘”inhumane”, “repressive” and “unnecessarily severe”.  He is charged with leaking the now infamous “collateral murder” video to Wikileaks, showing journalists and Iraqi civilians being machine-gunned from an American military helicopter during the

height of the insurgency. Private Manning’s case is yet to be heard by a judge, but if the charges are upheld are we expected to believe that a whistleblower is too dangerous to walk the streets?  Or even mingle with other prisoners?  It is not hard to reach the conclusion that the American government are using him to set an example, and are using fear to stop the potential Bradley Mannings of the future. The same is true of Assange, whose status as a non-American should render him automatically exempt from US espionage laws. Despite the many earth-shattering political changes that have taken place in various parts of the world since the establishment of Wikileaks five years ago, Assange has only become a household name within the last year.  Since then he has done many things to become the public face of his organisation, not least by putting his picture on its homepage.   He has also recently followed Sarah and Bristol Palin by seeking to trademark his name.  By choosing to make himself the public image of his website he has been able to travel the world promoting its values.  However, by allowing his persona to define Wikileaks he has inadvertently allowed the website’s many enemies to undermine it.  Revelations and controversy surrounding his

personal life have also left an indelible stain on Wikileaks itself. Because of his self-made romantic image of the lone hacker without a home taking on the world with his laptop, Wikileaks has suffered the same fate as its increasingly isolated figurehead. Ultimately the character, ideology and even the fate of Julian Assange are almost irrelevant to the bigger picture.  He can be smeared, imprisoned and silenced but the Internet cannot.  If Assange does find himself in a dark American military jail then as sure as anything you can bet that his place as the Internet’s ‘exposer in chief ’ will quickly be snapped up by another online activist.  You can spend your life shooting foxes but as long as the bins are open they will always be there to make a mess.  We didn’t get here because Julian Assange invented Wikileaks, we got here because Tim Berners-Lee invented the Internet, and in doing so inadvertently made the online leaking of classified documents inevitable.  All we can hope for is that this new age of unmasked power delivered to us by the world wide web forces governments and corporations everywhere to raise their standards of morality.  Because like it or not, they’re all naked now.

Image courtesy of Hierry Ehrmann

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FEATURES

Alumni Interview – Mark Agnew Only twenty seven years old, UCF Graphics graduate Mark Agnew is General Manager at Gylly Beach Café. Emily Smith talks to Mark about life after university in Falmouth and discusses his role at the café.

Mark is running late for the interview and rushes in to meet me but in doing so approaches the wrong person, he seems embarrassed as he sits down on one of the modern stalls placed alongside the glass wall of the café. Mark seems shy, shaking my hand and sheepishly taking his seat. He tells me he has held a manager’s role for five years at the café: “I use to work in the ice cream shack then I started work here on the bar and then worked on the functions. The manager at the time happened to leave very quickly so the owners were a bit stuck they asked me to help out for a few months and I guess it just went from there.” Mark seems to fit into the beach life, his style very relaxed and at ease here in the café overlooking the sea.

“No word of a lie I came down here for my university interview and me and my dad took a walk along the beach and I remember looking up at the flats and thinking it would be so cool to live above the café, so yeah, here I am!” Mark studied graphic design at Falmouth University, continuing with this side of his work when designing all the posters and branding for the café. “Anything that has to go through a design process in the café is all done by me. I have also done work for a few other bars and cafes around Cornwall but as far as for myself and do I have any drive to carry on with graphics? I have to honestly say no, not really. It’s not a passion of mine anymore.” The café is sleek and fresh, a perfect place to sip a hot drink on

a cold winter afternoon or to relax in the summer with a cold beer. Its location is great for trade with beach walkers popping in and out all day. “When I first started working here it was just very basic, a white floor and chairs with metal legs that use to make a horrid noise! How you see it now is a lot more customer friendly and a lot more inviting for people to come down for meals which is why we refurbished.” The design of the café is very different to what neighbouring beaches offer; noted local designer Kathryn Tyler designed the interior of the café as customers see it today. “We had seen the designs Kathryn had done at the Townhouse and various other venues around Falmouth and really liked her work. It was an organic process and the

designs were in progress for a couple of years before the café was finally finished.” Mark works hard to ensure that Gylly Beach Café offers more than just a cup of tea and a slice of cake. The restaurant food has proved very popular over the years, and the café has started offering a buy one get one free evening and a popular pint and curry night accompanied with live music every Sunday. “The pint and curry night has been running for about five years now and we use that to try and bring the students in, it’s so important to get the student trade because it’s such a massive population in Falmouth. We try to keep the students coming down here offering the free live music on Sundays with a good pint and curry deal.”

During the summer months the café is filled with locals, students and tourists offering summer cocktails, a seat overlooking the sea and great service. Mark says it’s the best time of year as Falmouth does so well from the tourist trade. “If you come down here on a blazing afternoon it’s really busy and you will be lucky to find a spot. The tourism trade just keeps getting better and better and the number of people who are choosing to stay in the UK for their holidays is always growing.” A great venue come rain or shine, it is clear that Mark and his team have played a big part in turning this unassuming café into a Falmouth institution. Be sure to make it a stop on your beach walk.

FXU/SAS Clean Up Success Seeta Kadam helps out as students do Falmouth proud at Swanpool beach clean.

What do you get if you combine a group of students, some funky gloves, big bin bags and a typical windy day in Cornwall? One colourful beach clean! On Saturday 5th of February over eighty students pulled together to clean the local beaches that we are privileged to use at our will. Despite the gale force winds, the light showers, and the luring smells from the cafés we know and love, those participating kept hard at work until they had one full bin bag. The amount of rubbish (ranging from cigarette butts and lolly sticks to cans, bottles, and even crockery) was shocking. It just took just a little close inspection to realise our beaches are not respected in the way they should be. It’s easy to clean a beach with so many hands, but this

Image courtesy of Tim Green

12

does not happen on a regular basis. There is no doubt fellow Falmouth residents would be too happy and grateful to know their beaches were being cleaned on such a large scale. Sally Ewen of the FXU played a crucial role in bringing together the student volunteers and was particularly grateful for all their efforts: “A massive thank you to all those who came and cleared and to SAS!” The hard work of the day did not go unrewarded - each volunteer received a free Burger and drink voucher to be used at the restaurant 5 Degrees West - not a bad end to the day- where Rosanna Boyle was keen to offer support: “Here at 5 Degrees we’re more than happy to support the cause!”.

FXU Community Action worked with Surfers Against Sewage to organise the beach clean. Sally Ewen was effusive in her praise for the organisation: “SAS’s passion and depth of knowledge regarding the impact of marine waste makes this kind of project all the more motivating and significant. It’s a privilege to live in a place with such beautiful beaches and organising a day, with SAS, where we can play a part in protecting our local beaches is what student led community action is about”. Adam Beare, SAS Beach Cleans Event Officer, reported that: "SAS were overwhelmed with the number of uni students who turned up for the beach clean at Swanpool on Saturday the 5th, their enthusiasm to help on the

‘Motivocean’ tour was fantastic and without them we would not have been able to remove in the region of half a ton of marine litter! SAS are already looking forward to the next clean with Falmouth and Exeter students and we really appreciate their help!" It was a truly successful day – it raised awareness on the part of the student population and all who witnessed the event. If you are interested in making a contribution check out their website for future volunteering opportunities in Cornwall and elsewhere: www.sas.org.uk/www.vinspired.com. For more information on Community Action Events check out communityaction@fxu.org. uk!


reviews

REVIEWS

FILM PAUL Text Kaylie Elise Finn

I have to take my proverbial hat off to any new film about aliens when it turns out to be a goodun’. We’ve seen it all when it comes to the extra terrestrial, so when I saw the trailer for Paul, starring comedy duo Nick Frost and Simon Pegg, I was a little underwhelmed. Nothing was really given away about the film, except Nick Frost’s longer hair do, which in slightly odd way, I quite like. Turns out, nothing much could be put into the trailer because a lot of the film isn’t suitable for the ears and eyes of small children, which I like even more than Nicks Frost’s hair. We all know Pegg and Frost from their previous movies including spoof hit Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, so I wondered if their next feature would live up to the others. Hooray it did, in fact it’s in a league of its own. Frost and Pegg play sci-fi nerds who are road tripping around the UFO hot spots of America in an RV. Along the way, they meet fugitive alien Paul, who has escaped from a military base, is being hunted by the Government and trying to make his way back home. Paul isn’t your ordinary, run-of-the-mill alien. He wonders around naked, with a bagel in one hand, a spliff in

the other, and a lot of swearing in between. Before seeing this movie, I had heard mostly positive reviews of Paul, except one or two remarks that, “it’s good if you’re into that sort of stuff.” Personally, I neither smoke cannabis, or am a naturist, and I’m pretty sure the pensioner sat behind me who was in hysterics for the most part of two hours does either, but I suppose he could have been a dark horse. The point is, this film is hilarious, and to all audiences, young and old alike. Sure, I’m easily pleased, and hearing a CGI alien referring to his genitalia as “junk” did crack me up. However, the film really did have more to offer than just this, to the point that it’s hard to pick fault with it. There were some genuinely touching moments to juxtapose the comedy, which gave the movie some unexpected depth. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a movie about the meaning of life, its brilliance lies in its unrelenting comedy, but why not? I don’t go to the cinema on a Wednesday night to come out of the theatre with a headache, I want to be struggling to breath because I’ve laughed too much. ET better watch out, there’s a new kid on the block!

TRUE GRIT Text Joe Hawke John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his role as Rooster Coburn in True Grit, over forty years ago. The remake, written and directed for the screen by the Coen brothers, is a keen contender to win even more Oscars than its original counterpart in the Awards that take place next week. The story tells of a young girl out to seek revenge for the murder of her father, by a member of a criminal posse in America’s ‘Old West’. The young girl, played by the newcomer Hailee Steinfeld, employs the services of the drunken, chain-smoking U.S Marshall Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), who is just as reluctant to leave his bed as to trekking into Indian Territory to catch the killer. Bridges is teamed up with Matt Damon, who plays a Texas Ranger, trying to catch the whole posse for a more substantial reward in Texas, but who is frequently obstructed by the young girl and then Rooster Cogburn. This film seems as though it is all about the lead actor; it was in 1969 when True Grit first hit the screen and it still is now. Jeff Bridges’ performance is outstanding in this remake; he plays the

MOVIE MUSINGS Text Harry Woodward To me, it seems you can’t keep a good genre down. Such an opinion can be proved by the release of the Coen brothers’ True Grit remake, which is not only a good film, but also received ten Academy Award nominations (without winning any sadly). Yes, I know I ranted against Oscars in my last column and the conventions of films that tend to win them, and I still have problems with True Grit over such conventions.

role with as much vigour and thought as should be expected while also adding that Oscar winning ingredient of humour. However, there is little else in terms of acting quality in this Coen brother’s remake. Matt Damon has quite probably been cast to give the film a bit more modernity and star quality, but he fails to impress in a portrayal that Mike Myers could have played better. His Texas accent wavers throughout and his facial hair is just about as convincing as his acting potential in the Western genre. This being said, Bridges would definitely give John Wayne a run for his money in terms of the role he played and True Grit is set to be the American answer to the Kings Speech at the Awards that will follow. It would be unjust if True Grit were to grab the awards away from the Kings Speech, but a truly American film at the American Awards ceremony is likely to cause disturbances among the 12 nominations that the Kings Speech has received. This film was good, but it was very far from perfect. It makes you think that if the film had been directed by someone else and not starring Matt Damon, then it may have been a justifiable

Nevertheless, the fact that a recent genuine western, set in the time period and place everybody associates with the genre, received the amount of praise that it did shows there is still some life in the field. Since the late 90s, the genre has been showing serious lack in quality, overindulging in clichés (apart from The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, but that felt more like a historical film than an authentic western). There is an obvious explanation for this if you look back at what has often been described as ‘the last great western’: Clint Eastwood’s 1992 masterpiece Unforgiven. It could be argued that the genre is suffering the aftermath of such a

opponent to other Oscar nominees. If you have seen very little in the way of 1950’s Westerns then I’m sure you’ll love this film, but if you spent your early childhood watching the likes of John Wayne, then prepare to be disappointed!

dark, anti-violence and anti-mythological film. Eastwood, while celebrating the genre, may have unwittingly killed it off. How can anyone in these times, when all the conventions that made the western and guaranteed its viewing pleasure have been brutally questioned and even destroyed by the more recent classics of the genre, continue to make and watch westerns for enjoyment? In simpler terms, what’s the point? Yet westerns do continue to be revisited and admired, even by our generation. Many of their conventions have seeped into countless other cultural forms, not just in parodies, but through a myriad of other film genres. Such conventions

are constantly recycled in modern action and gangster films. Western themes and storylines are frequently transferred into modern settings, often resulting in success. Look at No Country For Old Men. Do I think the western is dead, in popularity and relevance? Eastwood said “There have always been westerns and there will always be westerns”, but perhaps in different forms. Yet, period westerns continue to be made, and I see no reason why the good westerns that have gone by should be forgotten, not while they contain themes and technical conventions that continue to be relevant to the film world and society in general.

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TV EPISODES Text Anna Grant-Casey Another gem of television, Episodes follows Sean and Beverley Lincoln ( Stephen Mangan and Tamsin Greig) as they take their award-winning British series, Lyman’s Boys across the pond to do a spangly American remake. However, not is all as they had imagined, and after some casting issues in which Matt LeBlanc (playing himself ) gets cast as the lead role previously played by the great Richard Griffiths, and the show is renamed Pucks, the glamour of a Hollywood lifestyle is too soon dulled, and Beverley craves the rain of ol’ Blighty. This is a stunning little series. A great cast together with some excellent cross-Atlantic banter between the American production team and our two English writers. Finding themselves at odds with the director, Marc Lapidus (played by John Pankow of Mad About You fame) there are some great moments of typical British-on-the-Americans humour, which is equally well-fielded with the Americans, as there are constant references to the likes of Oliver Twist and phoney British accents. Matt LeBlanc plays himself in this series, and in my humble opinion, he never seemed to move on from the “how you doin’” of Joey Tribbiani, but in this series he keeps that side of his acting talent to minimum, and even mocks that part of his life. He is sincere and witty in his own way, and does well alongside Greig and Mangan who were stunning together in Green Wing, as well as individually, with Greig as the unforgettable Fran in Black Books, and Mangan as the wholly loveable Alex in Free Agents. They bounce off each other extremely well as the English couple adjust to sunny Hollywood, and as a bromance relationship blooms between Matt and Sean - a beautiful sight, ladies and gentleman. A realistic yet comedic look into the real lives behind the television set, this show has only one fault. It is a show about a show, that is copying another show. Everyone in the American version, Pucks, is younger and better looking, losing the authenticity of the original series and bringing attention to the

veneer that Hollywood puts on shows nowadays. These subtexts about the state of television are somewhat lost in amongst a multitude of one-liners more akin to Friends than anything more urbane as Lyman’s Boys claims to be; thus this Hollywood veneer that the Lincolns hate so much seems to have rubbed off a little onto Episodes itself. Nevertheless this is a great show. Very entertaining and

SKINS Text Catherine Durham February seemed full of promise and saw the beginning of series five of Skins, E4’s landmark drama series. Skins tracks the lives and loves of a group of raucous friends in Bristol, following the sixth form students through a life of excess, love and loss. The first series was arguably the best, with spliff-toting, bingedrinking and drug-abusing crammed all into one series. Series one and two followed the same set of friends through two years of sixth form, and at the end of series two we were introduced to Effy, Tony’s sister which lead neatly lead into the third and fourth series. To be honest, I thought it was all over after series four as they had covered every aspect of teenage life, tackling troubling stories of anorexia, teen pregnancy, mental health and death. The fourth series rounded everything off, leading not a lot of scope for another series. The fifth series started this February with a new class of eight students, promising more outrageous antics of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. If you’re expecting classic Skins debauchery, then give up now. The first episode saw the introduction of Franky; the misfit new student that doesn’t quite fit in. Franky meets Mini, Liv and Grace, three ‘barbies’ who try to befriend her and change her into

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a girly-girl. In the end Franky gets knocked down as photos of her being bullied at her last school, are leaked by Mini. It’s all pretty childish, petty stuff. It is as if the producers and writers have been censored. Whilst you could argue that the scenarios that these teenagers find themselves in are more realistic than in previous episodes... I don’t really get it. One guy gets temporarily deafened by heavy metal and the other get drunk at a bowling alley. I feel thoroughly disappointed and let down, the term ‘flogging a dead horse’ comes to mind. Whilst I have always been a fan of British drama, and especially Skins, I feel this is a very poor representation. E4‘s website announces the fifth series to be the ‘Third Generation’ of ‘E4‘s multi Bafta award-winning drama series’. Smash hit, landmark, irreverent comedy and award winning, are all terms used to describe previous episodes of Skins on the shows website, but if I’m honest this fifth series does not match up to any of them. Whilst I was not expecting it to match up to the first series, I was at least expecting some serious Skins drama, not just childhood antics.

witty, and brilliant for anyone who loves a bit of AmericanBritish humour, it is definitely one to watch. Just as Pucks itself gets a green light after its pilot, it has been rumoured Episodes has been commissioned for a second series and I will watch with interest where the plot leads.


reviews

books A SEVERED HEAD Text Emma Thompson Puzzling and absurd in its plotline, A Severed Head is a frustratingly brilliant book: the moment it finishes is the moment you want to pick it straight back up. Murdoch leaves her readers with the irrevocable feeling that one has missed the simplest, most obvious point of all. The protagonist Martin Lynch Gibbon is a married 41 year old wine merchant, who is ‘fucking’ a young student Georgie Hands. His wife Antonia is ‘fucking’ Palmer Anderson, her psychoanalyst and the married couple’s family friend. Martin ‘fucks’ Anderson’s half sister, Honour Klein. Antonia leaves Anderson, when she finds out he has been ‘fucking’ his half sister Klein, too. Georgie ‘fucks’ Martin’s brother Alexander and runs off with him. Some time passes, Georgie is rejected and so guess what...she ‘fucks’ Palmer Anderson. Confused? I was. On the surface Murdoch’s blunt exposure of crudely topical themes of incest, abortion and adultery that are undercut with the 1960’s taboo of age differences and same gender relations between the couples, ensure that this easy pageturner still stands as popular fiction today. Yet, on a deeper level Murdoch reinvents the common love story: her love story is one of shifting power struggles, depicted by the nitty-gritty language her sadomasochist characters adopt. Perhaps then what Murdoch does beautifully is to subtly question how natural the existence of sadomasochist tendencies within love is. Why does Gibbon marry Antonia if her affair is

inevitable after years of marriage? Why does Gibbon inevitably fall ‘in love’ with Georgie, if she will inevitably cause him pain through her affair? Delicate in the depiction of the pain/pleasure principle, Murdoch does not explicitly describe perverse sexual pleasure; rather the sadomasochist tendencies are reworked into a modern ‘gothic’ narrative, foregrounding the Sexual Revolution of the 60’s and 70’s. Courageously Murdoch centralises her rough and ready plotline at the expense of decentralising her characters. Propelling her readers in an uncomfortable world, it is difficult to feel conviction for anyone of the six that immorally bed-jump their way from page one to two hundred: every moment of reading will be a moment of increasing terror at the mounting dramatic events that unfold. It is debatable whether any of the six feel regret for their mistakes that memory makes; rather, it is clear that this is a continuous battle between the sexes, presented by Gibbon and Antonia’s mirrored immoral behaviour. What at first sight appears only as a continuum of popular, crude fiction proves at once to contain dark subject matter; subject matter which ultimately becomes more terrifying because it is rooted within human nature. A good read for the popular, lustful plotline but an even better read for the sadomasochistic undertones deployed in the love ‘hexagon’: it is something you should give a ‘fuck’ about.

DUBLINERS James Joyce Text Graham Barclay This book, which is a series of stories reflecting the different aspects of life in Dublin, is not merely a cultural projection of the city, but a complex, albeit tragic psychological infiltration of the Dubliners themselves. Joyce takes us right to the heart of Dublin, plunging us on a journey through a harrowing maelstrom of social labyrinths until we come face to face with the exposed essence of the city: its people and all the flaws inherent in them. Through Joyce’s various depictions of the people of Dublin, his central theme of paralysis is highlighted. Joyce portrays Dublin as the Irish centre of incapacitation; a city of decadence and turpitude achieved in his overt use of realism. This apparent paradox is integral to understanding his authorial intent, as Joyce uses language and imagery to show how we experience life rather than how we see it. He does this by making Dubliners a crucible for a mixture of colloquialisms and idioms which are intrinsic to Irish culture, such as “She’s on the turf”, meaning ‘she’s a prostitute’, and “Lily, the caretaker’s daughter, was literally run off her feet”. Such linguistic devices give charm to this unique, indeed poignant series of short stories which amalgamate to form a vivid bittersweet tragedy of Dublin and its people. The nuances of speech and action, littered throughout the book, are neither flippant nor maudlin; they just simply

exist. Lack of narrative makes more powerful Joyce’s portrayal of Dublin the city, Dublin the culture and Dublin the people. We are not told how to feel as we read this raw expression of sadness at such inopportunity; we form this judgement on our own. Paradoxically, Joyce’s ambiguous language and abstract imagery make more transparent Dublin’s paralysing effect on its people, and significantly Dubliners’ paralysing effect on their city. This book is a subtly vociferous awakening to the many complexities we humans create in our lives; unnecessary complexities institutionalised by the two oppressive despots: societal convention and religious obligation. Joyce’s Dubliners is a book which should be read by all, as it places humanity under the microscope and poises its readers to form an evaluation of its behaviour. After reading Joyce’s fragmented series of descriptions, and looking through his social microscope, I have made a rather pessimistic conclusion on modern society to date. It is disturbing how similar we humans are to the anthrax bacterium, as we multiply and contaminate on a cataclysmic scale; we are a contagion contained on Earth, our Petri-dish. Yet, out of this pessimism, I see optimism for a future antidote to our depravity, echoing Joyce’s message that without hope all we can expect is hopelessness.

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NIGHT WAKING Sarah Moss Text Naomi Racz Night Waking is set on the fictional Scottish island of Colsay and follows the intertwining stories of Anna and May. Anna is a historian and mother of two whose husband, Giles, has taken the family to stay on the now uninhabited island in order to carry out his research into puffin populations. Anna is left to look after the children, whilst also trying to write a book, and battle the constant tiredness caused by her children’s insomnia. Anna’s situation is further complicated when she discovers a baby’s skeleton buried in the garden, she becomes obsessed with finding out more about the island’s history and how the baby came to be in her garden. Anna’s first-person narration makes up the bulk of the novel, however it is interspersed with May’s letters home. May is a middle-class, English nurse sent to Colsay in 1878 to improve the high infant mortality rate on the island, and her letters trace her attempts to integrate herself with the islanders. For me, one of the most compelling aspects of May’s story is the challenge she presents to the reader. We feel for her as she struggles to get the islanders to accept her and we know that she is right to want to change the practises that are leading to needless infant deaths. But at the same time she fails to try and understand the islanders, and arrogantly believes they would be better off emigrating. Moss

brilliantly interweaves the stories of Anna and May, and there is never a sense that they are interrupting one another. May’s imperialist attitudes anticipate Anna’s anxieties about being an English outsider, whilst Anna’s own attempts to maintain her sanity in the face of motherhood speak to May’s struggles with infant mortality. Night Waking tackles some big issues: infanticide, climate change, insomnia, the apocalypse, and despair, but it is far from being a gloomy book. Anna’s internal workings are touched throughout with humour, and I found myself relating to her, despite not sharing many of her life experiences. She allows herself to get caught up in her own thoughts and to extrapolate far beyond what the situation in hand merits, something I think we all do. Moss also creates an incredibly convincing toddler in the form of Moth, Anna’s younger son, whose strange take on life (helping with the shopping means putting a tin of tomatoes in the washing machine) adds humour. Despite the book’s often gentle pace I found myself racing to the end as I wanted answers. How did a baby come to be buried in the garden? What happened to May? Will Anna’s story have a happy ending? And what exactly is moving in the attic? I would highly recommend Night Waking.

An interview with

Sarah Moss Text Naomi Racz Where did the idea for Night Waking came from? It’s a mixture of places. I spent a lot of time sailing as a teenager, my parents sail, and I absolutely hated it. Being stuck on a boat with your parents, in the middle of the sea, when you’re a teenage girl is awful. So I was thinking partly about that and the effect of that kind of isolation on family dynamics. The island’s history has a lot to do with St. Kilda, and I read quite intensively about St. Kilda and the things that happened there. Night Waking, and your first novel Cold Earth, are both set on islands and in quite remote places, what is it about those settings that appeals to you? Well I think partly they’re relatively easy to write about because it gives you an isolated place for your characters, you don’t have to worry about the city and communications around them. It’s also my experience of being in those kinds of places that personal dynamics are intensified and relationships change much more quickly. It puts people under pressure, and I’m interested in the way relationships respond to that kind of situation.

Do you have any more fiction in the pipeline? Some ways down the pipeline, yes. I’m working on a book about the year I spent in Iceland at the moment, and beginning to think about a third novel, which I think will be set in Falmouth, but it’s a long way off yet. Who are your favourite authors? I’m definitely formed as a writer by nineteenth century fiction, that’s my academic specialism. It’s what I read as a teenager and is probably still my most natural frame of reference.

I mean, when I’m thinking about a toddler, I reach for George Eliot rather than Helen Dunmore. I like Hilary Mantel, Helen Dunmore, Carol Shields, and Barbara Trapido. Do you have any tips for anyone wanting to be a writer? I think it’s a matter of persistence but also being able to hear things you don’t want to hear. You have to believe in yourself to do it but you also have to be able to listen to people telling you when it’s not very good, and sometimes they’ll be right.

Were you aware when you were writing that you needed Moth’s innocence to cut through the gloomier aspects of the novel? I was interested in the absence of very young children from fiction. There are quite a lot of 5 years and up but, apart from George Eliot’s Adam Bede where there is a toddler, I couldn’t think of any toddlers in literature, and at the time my own children were young enough that a lot of my life revolved around toddlers. It just seemed odd that these radically disruptive presences were completely missing from English fiction because they change the way you see things. One of the things that really interested me about the book was the fact that you have climate change as a backdrop. Was that something you set out to do, because there doesn’t seem to be a lot of fiction at the moment doing that? For me it’s a general sense of gloom and apocalypse, and that’s the form it takes at the moment. I think it’s always there, the forms are historically specific but we always think the end is nigh.

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Senior Lecturer, MA Nature, Writing, Place, Exeter University Cornwall Campus


reviews

GAMES NBA 2K11

Sponsored By

Various Text Alex Raffle

I can imagine it now; reviewing a sports game, have you really got nothing else? Are releases really that lacking? Has no one been interested in writing anything? I’ll answer those right now; no I don’t. Marvel vs. Capcom 3 came out but I can’t afford it, (surely we all understand) and of course they didn’t. I wouldn’t self indulge this much if they had, that being said if you want to review something contact me, the address is inside the front page, it’s not exactly Where’s Wally. So here I present to you NBA 2K11, the latest annual instalment of the franchise by 2K Sports. I see what they did there, and fully endorsed by the NBA, this is the complete basketball package game. This game has already been lauded as stunning for its innovative control system, which is truly immersive, and when looked at, could make your standard beat-‘em-up combo screen weep, it might even be easier to go out and play basketball in real life, but why do that? Along with providing standard basketball matches and regular style league modes, 2K11 provides two game modes that are particularly interesting. One is My Player, a self-created player where you play through his entire career, from college through to NBA (that is if you can make it there). This mode has the steepest of downward difficulty curves, the beginning is relentlessly hard

and unforgiving: if something goes wrong it’s almost definitely because of you. But get past the difficult opening, the experience can become enjoyable and rewarding, providing you don’t rage quit. The other mode celebrates the career of potentially the most famous legend of basketball, Micheal Jordan, or “I’m off Space Jam.” In this, you can play through defining moments of his career and even collect his numerous shoes like smelly Pokemon cards. The presentation of the game has been painstakingly worked on, everything is highly polished and looks just like a live basketball television. Additionally it’s the first game I’ve encountered that is enabled for 3D presentation, how fancy! The sound track is a delight, a nice variety of tracks that you might expect to hear during a basketball match that fully bring you into the right mindset of the game, pace and style. There’s even an originally recorded song by Snoop Dogg. Although, as with most sport game soundtrack, I expect they will eventually start to grate. So overall this is a fantastic game, one of the best sport games available, if that appeals to you. Just keep in mind it’s not as easy to pick up and play as Fifa but can be just as fun, but you might not master the game by the next year’s instalment is released.

BULLETSTORM Xbox 360 / PS3 / PC

Text Oli Haydon To make a list of criteria that the player must fulfil before playing Bulletstorm would be easy…They must love toilet humour, love explosions, love gore, love toilet humour, and of course loving toilet humour is a must. The story is pretty much from the ‘Gears of War Plot Generator’, you play as Grayson Hunt, a sort of Hugh Jackman and Gerard Butler hybrid, as he attempts a suicide mission with his entire crew, but ends up forgetting the whole ‘suicide’ part and arrives, via crash landing, on the planet ‘Stygia’. A mission or two passes by and the player is kept amused by the immense graphics, the breathtaking environments and, who could forget, the toilet humour. After these features become monotonous, Bulletstorm decides to give you pure awesomeness, in the form of ‘the Leash’, which kind of resembles one of those Spiderman gloves with the canisters of silly string. This Leash removes every single trace of repetitiveness about the game as it allows the player to latch on to, and sling, enemies into the air and mutilate them in whatever way they see fit.

STU’S GAMING CORNER As much as the Apple Corporation slowly taking over the planet does mildly annoy me, I do in fact own an iPod, a MacBook, and now an iPod Touch; yeah it’s just an iPhone with no phone but hey, it still gets all the same apps and that’s what I’m going to talk about today. Mobile gaming seems to be talk of the town of late, whether you’re throwing small

The AI on the Leash means that it tracks combos of kills and you gain a sort of currency for pulling of particularly spectacular kills. Some of my favourite ‘Skillshots’ would be Spiked (flinging an enemy onto a cactus), or perhaps Intoxicated Rear Entry (killing an enemy by leashing him into the air and shooting him in the buttocks…while drunk). You can use these skill shot points to buy upgrades for the leash or your guns. This idea of customizability is nothing special but when you take control of an elevator and crush it down on top of hundreds of enemies, it doesn’t really matter. There are some downsides to all of this mayhem. Aside from the cityscapes being flawlessly designed, the non-stop tutorial feel of the game is a little intrusive. You cannot escape the ‘JUMP with X’ message appearing when you reach a ledge or the ‘Try throwing them off the edge’ pop-up if you’ve died a certain number of times. Luckily this part of the gameplay is counteracted by the characters. Grayson is an alcoholic who is fuelled by nothing but revenge, something which infuriates his robot-esque sidekick …which actually ends up being laugh out

birds at mini pigs, or making a small unicorn jump through stars, the app store is alight with games that are quickly creating their own mini industry. However, if Apple think they have the market to themselves, they clearly haven’t been looking over their shoulder. Sony Ericsson have been a big name in the phone business since Sony bought out Ericsson in the late nineties (now Sony). Having its fingers in every electrical pie, they have announced a new gaming version of their Xperia line of smart phones. This is not good, and I’m going to tell you why, and why all phone games are terrible. Sure, occasionally some one in the app store hits gold, with a singing blob

loud hilarious in some parts. Outside of the Campaign, Echo mode (like Zombies in COD) is a nice touch to a game that really doesn’t know what it would call itself or care what this or any reviews say; all I know is that it’s massive fun with room for a sequel. I’m off to try and unlock the elusive ‘Drilldo’ skillshot…you can decide what that might entail.

that repeats every thing you say in a silly voice, but search around outside of the top downloads, and you quickly start to find that the good apps to bad apps ratio is severely unbalanced. Another reason that releasing any portable gaming platform recently is a generally bad idea is, of course, the 3DS. Nintendo have once again blown every one out of the water by revamping their already popular DS console and making it 3D. This would be kind of mediocre if it was the same 3D as today’s 3D TVs, however the geniuses at Nintendo have developed a 3D system that doesn’t need glasses. IT DOESN’T NEED GLASSES! My one question to Nintendo is this. Why haven’t you bought out a TV?

Hmm? Why?! If Nintendo were to bring out a new console that was built into a 3D TV, I’d sell my old TV, hell, even my liver, to get my hands on one. But, back to mobile phone gaming, if I have to come to a conclusion, and logic dictates that I do, it would be this: if I wanted a phone, I would buy a phone. Fine, if said phone happens to be useful as a PDA or organiser, but when it comes to games, I’ll be sticking to my DS, and who knows perhaps Pokemon Black and White will lure me into 3D gaming.

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ART&DESIGN

arts@flexnews.co.uk

An Interview with Todd Stewart

Annah Legg

Hi Todd! How’re you today? The days are generally good ... surviving a Montreal winter without getting away for a bit is a challenge. My solution this year has been to never leave the house except to go to my studio. Sounds like a good plan to me...Tell us a little about yourself: I’m an illustrator and printmaker. I’m from the Prairies in Canada but my home has been Montreal for the last 20 years. I have a studio where I work in letterpress, etching, but mostly silkscreen. Half of my week is spent there, and the other half at my home office, where I work on various illustration and design contracts. The mix between standing and physical work (printing) and computer work is a good one. I’m self-taught, I’ve never taken a course in art (my background is in architecture), and so I’ve developed a personal way of working, printing, and really appreciate having learned through doing, I think it informs the way I approach everything in my life right now. Tell us a little about your working process: My personal work usually starts with an idea or thought that I run with, not necessarily something I see or experience. I’m a good sleeper and a great dreamer; a lot of my inspiration comes from dreams. I find there’s an interesting juxtaposition in my work between my images, which mostly represent physical places, and my imagination or personal idea of these places. I feel like each project I work on, I learn a little more about the process and details of printing and illustration. It’s a struggle for me, but I try to be as busy as possible and take on different projects - working on a few different things at the same time feels right. One thing I would like to do more of is draw, just sit down for a period of time and sketch. I try to do things slightly different, or play with different techniques, I feel that even though I’ve been drawing and printing for years, I’m still learning all the time. You have a series of work based on cities you have never been to- where did the idea for this come from? I’ve always been drawn to architecture, cities, city planning ... these cities (small 3- or 4colour silkscreen prints) began as a way of quickly experimenting with different printing and illustration techniques within a series. Each city, in general, starts with a simple idea (Tokyo’s crazy skyline, Split’s walled old city, slums and temporary settlements in Sao Paulo

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...) I tend not to work from found images with this series, I try to just draw from memory or imagination, and I don’t tend to spend much time perfecting an idea, I want to make the print quickly and move on. Many times I’ve decided that the city series is over, only to pick up and keep working on it. I’m not really sure where it’s going but still have lots of ideas for new cities. If you could do anything else with your life, what would you do? I love what I do and wouldn’t change it - but in another life I would probably have been a postman. And lastly, if you could give one piece of advice to the readers of flex, what would it be? Two pieces of advice: 1. Keep notes. Take time each day to write down what you’ve remembered and worked on. 2. Draw every day just for yourself, keep a sketchbook (or napkin, or whatever) handy wherever you are. I don’t do either of these things very well; this is more advice for myself, I wish I was more disciplined than I am. Thanks Annah! Thank YOU, Todd! See more of Todd’s work here, www.breeree.com or www.52screenprints.blogspot.com, His work is also on etsy here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ breeree


ART&DESIGN

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Photography

arts@flexnews.co.uk

The Compassionate Portrait My Vanity or Sanity - Gillian

Photographer Georgina Mallett Racheal Stanley Photography editor Catherine Durham Arts and Design editor

Gillian had her mastectomy 20 years ago and came to terms with acceptance extremely quickly. ‘ It didn’t bother me, the surgeon said I had the choice of mastectomy or radiotherapy and I said ‘mastectomy please’ and he said ‘oh no, go home and think about it for a while,’ I said ‘ well the answer will be exactly the same.’ It’s just never bothered me, it’s only a boob, I’ve had all my children, I’d breastfed them all, they had done their job, I know I’m not sort of normal, the only thing that sometimes gets me is when I see really pretty bras, you are so limited, there is a bigger selection nowadays but it’s not like going into a shop and seeing rows and rows of pretty bras, but that’s nothing is it, I’m still alive.’ When I asked Gillian why and how she came to accept her physical appearance so quickly after mastectomy she told me some moving information. ‘ I’m probably not normal, but maybe its because it’s better than my son who had to have his arm amputated as a child due to cancer, and then we still lost him, and he was only 14. There are just so many young people affected who are so much more worst, how could I possibly be bothered about losing a boob?’ Georgina Mallett

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Creative Writing

ART&DESIGN

Poetry by Sebastian Higginson

Dawn

Film Noir

Lovely

Travelling down the telephone wires This morning stretches from far away While we are marching in the night This band of horses blackened fire Equine eyes blinded to day Blinkered and fettered by chains of dawn The horizon shedding light Our paths disturbing the lonely fawn

Back spasm, madness Limbs ache and claw sheets Tearing a tendon from the bone This is the world In incontrovertible majesty Black and white – live In a film noir set Heartbeat racing as a dog around a track, and The moon is so bright tonight Huddle underneath it as you smoke Gravity is ascending and so, our souls; Dispassion is the worst of it all Seeing the ink on the blue-white screen Trickling redly into those dreams You once had Dream, child, and be free

Blanket wrapped, and smothered by the wind Impossible to smoke a cigarette Without constant ignition

Lifting and chinking the chains clat along Degrees agreeably inclined to listen Earth from black, to grey, to green The wings descend from clouds in a throng Known by the eagle-eyed pulse of the raven Footsteps reveal where the creatures have been

Box

Sunshine So fatal and rare But as uplifting as a drop of courage Strangers and unknown rats Abound – anonymous and ecstatic Quiet electrics in the backdrop An unstoppable element Cages us apart Unusually blue and docile Melancholy sputters and stops Always searching For the perfect moment

What have you done, child? In opening that box so carefully concealed.

Photography by Bethan Wynton 21


arts@flexnews.co.uk

Maker Heights. A New Artists’ Colony in Cornwall?

Article by John Paul Summerville

Maker Heights is the highest point on the Rame peninsula, situated in the south east of Cornwall. At present it is home to over thirty creative enterprises, including painters, potters, silversmiths, photographers and designers. The site is blessed with outstanding panoramic views; back in to Cornwall, across the Tamar river to Plymouth, and beyond to Dartmoor. It is a remarkable site, one I have only ever associated with The Maker Sunshine Festival, which runs for a long weekend every July. On my last visit I discovered what’s been happening there the other 51 weeks of the year. Heath Hearn is one of the thirty or so artists working at Maker. He took the time to describe to me all the developments of the last 15 years, since the Rame Conservation Trust (RCT) brought the site from the Earl of Edgcumbe to prevent it falling into the hands of outside property developers. ‘We are one of the largest creative clusters in the southeast of cornwall, and we’re rapidly forming into an arts colony’. The visual artists working here are mostly full time professionals working independently, though they do form together as the Rame School of Art for an annual exhibition of their work. As it stands the colony is only viable for artists living locally, there is no accommodation available and the location is remote. As Heath describes it ‘the studio spaces here are really conducive for artists who kind of like a little bit of suffering’. In the winter it is cold and the Napoleonic barracks which serve as the studios ‘just about hold themselves up . . . the place is in dire need of restoration’. As interest in the colony grows, restoration is fast becoming a real possibility. The RCT is in dialogue with The Arts Council and Cornwall Council about funding for their vision. David Panton, co-founder of ACME studios in London, and Professor Alan Livingston of Falmouth both visited the site last month and were enthusiastic about its potential. A partnership with University College Falmouth is intended and links are being forged with The St Ives School of Painting. A real excitement is being generated from multiple angles. Obviously these things will require time and energy before they are realised but the essential components all seem to be present. The location, the space, the community, and a serious and dedicated core propelling the whole thing forward – bringing an infectious spirit that can only serve to attract. Heath shares his vision of the artist colony with me, a place with work to live accommodation in the form of pods (homes which are half underground) artists and artisans working together, rotational studios for postgraduate students, as well as long-term tenancies for established artists to ensure a strong foundation of experience and wisdom. Equally important to the success of the colony is the harmonious integration with the local community, ‘it’s one of those unique places where it’s not exclusively art, we want to be here because apart from the fact that it’s a beautiful place and the studios are relatively cheap, there is a community here that is in to art. It’s about absorbing and soaking up the realism. The people who work here, the Cornish people, who do their day to day living. It’s not about pushing people who are not artists out because the local community are just as fundamental to this colony as the artists’. This symbiosis is something Heath and the trustees feel passionately about. Anybody considering the colony should be aware of this, ‘we don’t want to turn it into a sterile collective of artists. We need the local people to be here for that inspiration’. There is no desire to turn Maker into an isolated block of studios for rent. Participation and involvement are key words when creating any future plans. This ethos exists between the artists as well as the local community, ‘what happens in a place like this is I’ll have an art gallery come to see my work and then I can suggest that they go and see the artist whose just set themselves up and see what they think. There’s a little networking thing going on. It works a treat for that’. This spirit of caring and sharing may serve to improve more than just the colonies chance of good karma. ‘Councils all over the country now have all of a sudden cottoned on to the fact that when a group of artists move into a community, collectively, they enhance the community, they’re brilliant for regeneration’. Maker is a wise choice for government grants and funding because it has such a positive effect on the surrounding area, ‘if you move a group of artists into an area, or house them, or give them affordable rent, then that does just as much to enhance the community and lift it up as anything’. If this is not enough to make the colony a favourable investment, perhaps its location will. ‘Cornwall Council are very aware that all their money for the arts seems to go down to the west, to St Ives. They’re not spreading it, mostly because there isn’t anywhere else to spread it to. So we might be at an advantage purely because of our location’. Maker Heights is certainly a place for students and recent graduates to keep an eye on. If it maintains

22

its current momentum it will soon become a serious consideration for all graduating students of the arts in Cornwall, Devon and beyond. A place to ‘soften the blow between leaving art college and the big wide world’. If you’re interested in getting a first hand look at the site and perhaps the opportunity to meet some of the artists currently working there then I would strongly recommend The Maker Sunshine Festival, or Rame Dance as it is now known. It runs from the 1st – 3rd July. Tickets and information are available at www.makerfestival.co.uk. Camping and yurt bookings are also available through April - September, if you would like to visit under calmer circumstances. To arrange this, contact makerevents@hotmail. com. More details are available at www. coolcamping.co.uk/campsite/maker and www.ukcampsite.co.uk. Or you can contact the trust direct at info@makerheights.org.uk if you are interested in applying for a studio space, but be aware, there is a waiting list.


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Why not design the 2011 graduation hoody! You have all seen hoodies around campus . . can you do any better? FXU are looking to you…the talented student to design the FXU 2011 graduation design… The Brief … Has to include FXU ‘11 (doesn’t have to be actual FXU logo) Reflect student life and or Cornwall Limited to 2 colour design and a background colour The design is printed using vinyl cut so not too intricate and complex OPEN TO ALL STUDENTS All entries must be given to us by 6th May 2011 @ 12 noon

THE PRIZE: A hoodie with the design on 1 tickets to the FXU Garden Party ‘11

All entries must be sent to team@fxu.org.uk In an Adobe, vectored format and PDF. The entries will be whittled down to 3 finalists and will be on display on both campuses for students to choose the winner.

DRAWING ON WALLS IS FOR KIDS AND EXCEPTIONAL ARTISTS! It has been brought to our attention that some insensitive soul has taken to writing offensive material on the LRC toilet walls. This is not cool! We have a brilliant, friendly atmosphere on campus and frankly we are disappointed that people want to try and ruin that. We have our suspicions about who the culprits might be and anyone who is found to be committing these offences will be handed over to the institutions and dealt with in an official manner. For those who may have been affected by this material, FXU and the campus welfare services are here to support you so pop in and say hi or email: team@ fxu.org.uk The FXU Team 24


March & April Meal and Local Music Nights - every Friday (unless stated below) Free entry, 2 courses £15, food 7-9pm Friday 18th March- Claudia Caolin Tickets £8, doors open 8pm

Saturday 19th March- lono Presents ‘Arbouretum Tickets £8, doors open 8pm Saturday 26th March- Twilight Hotel Tickets £7.50, doors open 8pm

Saturday 2nd April - Peapod Sessions featuring Laura Dugmore Tickets £2 (£1 students), doors open 8pm Sunday 3rd April - The Black Maria Memorial Fund Free Entry, doors open 8pm

Monday 4th April - Cam Penner Tickets £7 (£6 students), doors open 8pm Saturday 9th April - Jamie Lawson Tickets £TBC, doors open 8pm

Saturday 16th April– Amy Wadge & Pete Riley Tickets £8, doors open 8pm Saturday 23rd April - Kat Marsh Tickets £TBC, doors open 8pm

Saturday 26th April- Helm & The All Stars Tickets £4 (£3 students), doors open 8pm

For further details go to www.misspeapod.co.uk

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FXU Elections Special 2011 Who do you

want to be your Students’ Union Presidents 2011-12?

And why should you care? Text Janice Mitchelson So, who shall you vote for? and why should you care? and...does it really make a difference? Well...yes. I mean, it’s good to have someone with an idea about putting on great parties for you to have fun and make new friends; it’s nice to be able to have a friendly face to greet you as a first year and help you settle in, show you round when there is so much to take in on top of starting a course; but what about the other stuff...the tricky stuff...you know...problems. Who is that you will go to for advice if you feel you are not getting what you need (and have paid for) on your course? Who is it that can help you fill in an Access to Learning Fund form and make sure you’ve got all the right documents so you have the best chance of getting the funds you desperately need to continue your studies? Who is it that is looking at University Appeals procedures to help make them fair for students? Who is it that you can tell your student issues to who is prepared to sit at top university meetings and tell them about student needs? Who is it that will challenge the institutions on your behalf? Who is it that provides independent, confidential advice? Who is it that is mandated to do what students ask them to do through democratic means (e.g. referenda, general meetings, student council)? You guessed it. The Students’ Union Presidents. So it does it make a difference as all of these things make a difference to yourstudent experience. Surely it is something you care about and you would want to choose who should do these things for you. So, who to vote for? Well, who do you think would be best at doing all of the above? Their job descriptions are available online www.fxu.org.uk/elections so you can check that out too. Each candidate will have their own ideas aswell, so who have ideas that are in line with yours and will listen to yours? Who‘ll be best at the job and help you have the student experience you want? There are eight candidates in total for the three FXU President positions: President Welfare, President UCF and President UECC. The next 7 pages are dedicated to this year’s FXU Elections and the candidates so you can find out who the candidates are and what they stand for, to help you decide who you want to represent you over the academic year 2011-12. Each candidate has written a maximum of 200 words for this article, based around their manifestos. Their full manifestos can be found on www.fxu.org.uk/elections as well as on FXU noticeboards. I‘m sure you will also have noticed lots of the candidates’ campaigning posters, banners and the like popping up all over Tremough and Woodlane campuses too and they are likely to be out and about talking to as many students as they can. It would be a good idea to listen to what they have to say and use the opportunity to ask any questions you may have. Only students can vote and you’ve got one week to do it (voting closes at 2pm on Thursday 17th March 2011). Voting is online, go to www.fxu.org.uk/elections. The choice is yours. 26


FXU President Welfare Candidates “The Hare” Michael Leverett (Levy) Vote Hare For Welfare. Hello my name is Levy a.k.a ‘The Hare’; I am running for FXU Welfare Officer. I am currently a third year contemporary theatre student doing a minor in visual art. I like current affairs, hares, hair, heir, derrieres, running really fast, and most of all eggs. ‘The Hare’ wants to nourish creativity and identity. Nourishing creativity by: • Increasing opening hours for performance centre and Woodlane spaces. • Making studio spaces accessible for all artistic disciplines (every discipline) at both performance centre and Woodlane • Making a more considered studio booking system for both Woodlane and Tremough spaces • Bridge that ‘gap’ between Woodlane and Tremough. • Promoting creative opportunities for students Nourishing Identity by: • Altering events like SHAG week, to make it more focused on issues of sexual identity as well as sexual health. • Making sure all societies have their voice heard on any issue they want. • Connecting student identity with FXU, through gigs and events. Watch out for on campus Hare activity: • Hopping • Running from Tremough to Woodlane • Eating • Helping and sharing

Richard (Rich) Pearson Hello all, I'm Rich Pearson and I'm currently running for the position of FXU Welfare President 2011-2012, alongside studying in my final year on the BA (Hons) Broadcasting course. I've spent much of the last two years working with and for Falmouth and occasionally Exeter University either as a Mentor, Ambassador, volunteering, working with residences, basically being a bit of a jack of all trades, but more than anything I've been learning as much as I can about both universities and both campuses, understanding student wants and needs, and generally trying to help people as much as I can. The main points of my manifesto are simply that I want to use all of my expertise, empathy, understanding and ability to support and represent all students of both of these amazing institutions. Regardless of the things that I have said that I want to do in my manifesto, my main campaigning point will always be “What do you want me to do?” It's your Union, and as your president I would put your needs first. For more information check out ‘Rich for Falmouth Welfare President’ on Facebook to find out more and read my full manifesto.

All UCF and UECC students can vote for FXU President Welfare. 27


FXU President UCF Candidates Jamie Clark VOTE JAMIE CLARK FOR FALMOUTH PRESIDENT About me: I’m 21 and in my final year studying Photography. In my spare time I love to play sports and socialise, and generally have a good laugh with everyone. Why vote me? During my three years at Falmouth I have seen the University undergo huge changes, however despite these I have also seen many things that I feel need to be improved to make your student experience even more enjoyable and worthwhile. As president I will ensure that I am extremely approachable and always available if students have an issue they want to discuss!!! If you have any questions please come and ask me or jopin my facebook group by searching 'Vote Jamie Clark For Falmouth President’. Thanks, Jamie.

Jenifer “Mabel” Slattery Good evening! My name’s Jenifer “Mabel” Slattery, I’m a second year English with Creative Writing student and I am running for UCF student president. I have, in my time here, been a student ambassador and a course rep and very much enjoyed doing both. I am running for President because I believe that you deserve the highest standard of representation – and I am prepared to work as hard as I can to give that to you, as well as a warm welcome to any who need it. I intend to live up to the brilliant reputation that FXU has achieved, as well as see that as the university expands and changes, the student experience remains as fantastic as it always has been. With me there are no half measures; I will always do my utmost to make sure you get what you want and need from your university experience, and I intend to have a ridiculous amount of fun doing it! Happy Voting! Mabel x Find me on facebook: ‘Vote Jenifer “Mabel” Slattery for UCF President!’

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FXU President UCF Candidates Kalila Storey Hello.My name is Kalila Fiona Storey. I like tea, birds, kittens, smiley people, origami, talking, cake, listening, dancing in the street, time travel, miniature cows, writing letters to friends, chocolate hobnobs and sunshine. More than anything I want to make your University experience as positive as it can be and I will do anything to try make that a reality. VOTE KALILA STOREY FOR FXU PRESIDENT UCF. It would be lovely of you. Kalila xxx ps. For more info, please see my manifesto by joining my Facebook Group: Vote Kalila Storey for FXU President UCF Thank you muchly

Only UCF students can vote for FXU President UCF.

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FXU President UECC Candidates Henry Austwick Hello all! My names Henry Austwick I’m a 3rd year History student and I’m standing for University of Exeter Cornwall Campus (UECC) President. Over the past 3 years I’ve worked with the FXU and am currently the History SSLC chair. In this uncertain time of increased fees the Students Union will become more and more important in getting students the best deal - whichever course they’re on. A few of my key points are: Get Students the best deal from the University - From study space to facilities Promote Tremough Campus - Maybe some joint events with Streatham – perhaps a video link gig? Let’s be proud of what we have! Increase relationships with third parties - Virtually every other university campus has a Bank (or at least a Cash Machine that’s free) together with other businesses that give students a choice. Why shouldn’t we? Ensure there is minimal disruption during building work - Disruption is inevitable, please tell us what and when. Any thoughts, ideas question? Get in touch @ ha248@exeter.ac.uk For the full manifesto check out the fxu website or the facebook group Henry for University of Exeter Cornwall Campus (UECC) President!

Jonathan “Jono” Harris "To succeed in life you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone"... This sums up my manifesto. In brief, with 2012 fast approaching us and the proposed rise to £9000 for tuition fees, my aim as president would be to put Tremough on the map! I want to continue and enhance the work that is being done to truly get us recognised as a world class campus. No longer do I want there to be confusion when trying to explain to friends and family that you are at Exeter Uni but down in Cornwall! I want the Cornwall campus to become renowned! This is the base of my presidential drive, I am not here to push only my personal ideas. A president should act as the unifying voice of the student body and this is what I will do. Together we can continue to develop this incredible campus into something that is truly second to none. Search JONO HARRIS FOR EXETER PRESIDENT on facebook to follow my campaign and post any questions you may have-I would be more than happy to answer them. remember, it fxYOU!

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FXU President UECC Candidates Owen Hind "My manifesto is built on the principle that for the Union to move forward and improve we need to be new, bold and innovative. Every year the same or very similar Fresher’s events are held, we fail to attract big names to the Stannary and more importantly Tremough Exeter Students lose out just because we don’t study at Streatham. It’s time this changed. It’s time we closed the funding gap, it’s time the Stannary lived up to its potential. I will be asking people to sign a petition supporting greater interaction with the Union Guild. I hope with this student support I can forge closer, inter-twinning links with the Exeter Student Guild, in this way societies can be better funded and supported. With more money comes more freedom and student experience improves. My second pledge is to plan an entirely new fresher’s week, one that excites everyone, not just some of the first years. Every Fresher’s week events repeat themselves and therefore have a more limited appeal. It’s time this changed. If you have any questions about my campaign please e-mail me on oh210@exeter.ac.uk or search me on facebook at Owen Hind to read my manifesto in full."

Only UECC students can vote for FXU President UECC.

31


How to vote Voting is online www.fxu.org.uk/elections All UCF and UECC students will need your UCF username and password to log in to the voting site. If you do not know this, please contact the IT Service Desk (extension 3822).

Voting closes: 2pm Thursday 17th March 2011

Results Party Results will be announced on Thursday 17th March 2011 at 5pm* in the Upper Stannary, Tremough Campus *subject to any issues raised regarding the elections.

All students invited! Come and find out who your FXU Presidents will be for 2011-12! There’ll be cake and celebration :)

32


2011 Vote for: FXU President Welfare FXU President UCF

FXU President UECC

www.fxu.org.uk/elections

rty! Results Pa 7 Mar 1 u h T m 5p ary, n n a t S r e Upp h Tremoug

Voting Open 2pm Thu 10 Mar - 2pm Thu 17 Mar 33


arts@flexnews.co.uk

LIFESTYLE Listen To Eat Wear Watch Go

..Adele. If you haven’t already heard her new album, you need to.

..Lots of pancakes/easter eggs/hot cross buns. It’s better than Christmas!

..Bright colours. Colour blocking isn’t that scary, honest.

..McQueen and I on 4OD. Insightful to say the least.

..To the beach with your besties. What could be better?!

Power Reigns At London Fashion Week Text Emma Hayes

This season, I was lucky enough to be invited to become an intern at Trace Publicity, a PR company in London, during London Fashion Week. Trace, a small PR firm founded in late 2009, were representing up-and-coming designers this year, and had the job of running two catwalk shows and two designer presentations. Their first catwalk show, Jean-Pierre Braganza, was on the 18th February, the first day of London Fashion Week. Nerves were running high at the Show Space on Northumberland Avenue, and around one hundred interns, from design houses, PR companies and the British Fashion Council, were charged with holding the show together at the seams. JPB’s show promised, as stated by his press release, “…a cultivated collection for a woman who is a leader and a warrior. Braganza has always been influenced by Science Fiction, imagining today’s women in future-worlds requiring clothes for a darker, more abstruse time.” And it certainly delivered. The collection exuded a sense of discipline and power, with military and nautical stripes, and detailing fea-

34

turing on ivory jersey wool, sheer silk and grooved fur. A burst of red shone through the deepest layers of black and charcoal, highlighting Braganza’s trademark complex panelling and strict feminine tailoring. With contributions by shoe giant Nick Kirkwood and gloves by Aspinal of London, it proved a hit with the crowd and the critics. The following day was an even bigger challenge, as Trace was managing a presentation by Una Burke, followed by catwalk show by Fyodor Golan. Burkes presentation consisted of a threeminute film played on a loop whilst her armour-like leather accessories were displayed in glass cages. Editors from Italian Vogue drifted through the rooms in the Vauxhall Fashion Scout show space at the Freemasons Hall, and guests were treated to a disturbing, but brilliant short film consisting of “an experimental film which combines the inspirations that arose from the collection, with an influence from Michael Snow’s iconic 1967 experimental film ‘Wavelength’, the cinepoems of Man Ray and jarring aspects of psychological horror.” The Fyodor Golan show, a self -titled ‘Pagan poetry’ collection, was presented by new-on-the-scene Fyodor Podgorny and Golan Frydman. The two had previous experience of working at Alexander McQueen, Raf Simons, Richard Nichol and Issey Miyake, before meeting and accumulating their wide collection of skills, wowing the audience with their debut collection in 2010. This season, the duo showcased a wardrobe for “today’s global modern woman”. Luxurious silks and soft leather were worked into skirts and high neck tops, matched with the structure of the Renaissance time period. As for the colour scheme, neutrals and brown leather were paired with brilliant blues and subdued indigos. As London Fashion Week ended, and with the help of Tony & Guy, AOFM and OPI on hair and make-up, it was clear that British Fashion is stronger than ever.


LIFESTYLE

Seventies Fashion? Easy When You Know How... Text Sophie Hives-Wood

With the skies clearing up and the sun shining brighter, it looks like spring is on its way to us, and summer will inevitably follow shortly afterwards. Everyone’s getting bored of the dreary, cold weather and we are starting to look forward to climbing into our wardrobes in search of our summer flip-flops and bikinis. But even though the idea of wearing less and going to beach parties is really exciting, I’m starting to worry about what the trends are going to be this year and whether or not they’re going to hit my purse like a bad hangover hits me on a Saturday morning. And if I’m thinking this, I’m guessing that all you students are thinking the same kind of thing. So I thought I would do some investigating into what is going to be hot on the street this summer and how to wear the cutest trends without it costing the earth. Head to River Island and New Look for my favourite seventies smashers!

First I’m convinced that my grandmother’s lace blouses are actually quite sexy and now flares are creeping back into the shops. But it’s true; flares actually look pretty cute and are perfect for walking along the beach with your mates. Try wearing flared jeans with a cute T-shirt and some wedges or boots and you’ll be ready to start walking. Or for more of an evening outfit, try wearing them with a lacy blouse (preferably not your Nan’s) and some sexy heels. Jeans: (£39.99 River Island) Top: (£14.99 River Island)

Lace is a big statement for summer this year. And even though a few years ago I would have associated lace blouses with something that my grandmother would wear, it seems to be hitting the shops hard lately. With the right accessories you don’t need to look like you’ve just walked out of a retirement home. With some short leggings and a cute pair of wedges you’ll look like the chicest student at the party! Top: (£26.99 River Island)

Stripes never seem to go out of fashion. So if you’re having a wardrobe clean-out ensure you keep anything that is stripy. And if you don’t have anything slightly zebra-looking, then get to the shops. Try grabbing yourself a cute stripy bikini for days on the beach with the girls and then a sexy dress for a party. Top: (£16.99 New Look) Bikini top: (£14.99 New Look) Bikini Bottoms: (£7.99 New Look)

And for a bit less of the seventies fashion and something a bit more modern there is a tailor made trend this year. Think military play-suits, oversized blazers and high-waisted shorts. This trend is cool and chic and is perfect to try with other trends as well. Wear with stylish heels for a night of dancing, or simply a pair of comfy flip-flops for a day of walking. Play-suit (£39.99 River Island)

And of course, when there is summer there are floral and patterned dresses. But this year there is a seventies bohemian twist to them to make the outfit even more cat walk worthy. They are perfect to wear on a day out and about or even going out for a meal with the girls. So stick on your best heels and get going. Dress (£24.99 River Island)

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arts@flexnews.co.uk

New York, Old News? Text Michael Swann

Saunders isn’t alone on this optimistic front though. There’s no shortage of the bright and the bold this winter, plenty of designers presented collections dense with colour, florals and bold prints. Orange has been a colour that plenty of labels have squeezed into their pieces, from small bursts of amber in the details, to full head-to-toe tangerine (a look I’m certainly tempted to explore this summer, especially with the recent opening of a tanning salon on Falmouth Moor). It seems the world is lusting after a bit of fruitfulness and excitement this winter... well that’s as long as we all agree to disregard New York, which I am more than willing to do!

We are now into the fourth month of 2011 and the fashion calendar is well under way; we’ve already seen the big four parade their autumn and winter trends (more than one in the cases of Milan and Paris), and the rest of the world has been showcasing designers non-stop since the turn of the new year. London was a pleasant surprise this year with plenty of stunning collections and very interesting pieces really giving Milan and Paris a run for their money. The same, unfortunately, could not be said for New York. Mary Katrantzou

I’d always had the impression that New York was a bit of a bore when it comes to fashion design, which seems odd considering the city itself is home to the bible that is Vogue and none-other than the fashion mascot of the last 15 years, Sex and the City. Am I being judgemental regarding the city’s capabilities to bring exciting fashion to the world? Have I made a false assumption? Victoria Beckham

Well, if February’s Mercedes-Benz Fashion week is anything to go by, I’ve even made a slight over-estimation. Trawling through the collections was one of the most thoroughly boring moments of my life, collection after bleak collection of lifelessness! It all soon became a drone, undistinguishable, a week of nothing particularly great. But perhaps this is a positive thing for the very few collections that were actually quite nice or interesting. The New York trio Threeasfour put on quite an intriguing catwalk show with structured geometric dresses, accessorised with violins and other musical instruments, while the DKNY collection was sweet, sophisticated, and simple with a colour palette that will liven up any wet winter morning. Oddly enough, the only other collection in New York that shone like a beacon of hope was Victoria Beckham’s handy work. There was much discussion last summer when Beckham’s New York show seemed to impress the majority of the fashion world’s press, and I too had my whole opinion of celebrity fashion labels smashed by Victoria’s efforts. This

season she seems to have settled, the dresses have a comfortable air about them and I’m sure the struggle to prove herself as a credible designer is over after last year’s success. Claiming that she designs for women like herself, it’s no wonder she knows exactly how to make it work. Jonathan Saunders

With every dreary collection shown in New York, there was a London counterpart that sure rocked my socks, star shows being the likes of Marios Schwab, Giles, Basso & Brooke and Roksanda Illncic. Once again, the new print goddess Mary Katrantzou caused a stir with a collection so well thought out it almost gives Alexander McQueen’s work a run for its money, but what slightly lets her down here is how seemingly un-special her pieces are underneath the stunning prints. Last season Katrantzou’s interior design dresses became the most memorable collection to hit London in recent recollection, but without the prints, can it be argued that her clothes are pretty uninspired? Yes, I’d say so, but unfortunately, for now, I’m completely blinded by her distractingly detailed pretty patterns. There are several designers who show in London that I also seem to judge quite harshly before even seeing their work; Julien MacDonald is one of these, as is Jonathan Saunders which is maybe not the best thing for a follower of fashion to do. Now most of the time they seem to only confirm my negative assumptions (Julien MacDonald’s cliché goth collection looked like a series of overpriced halloween costumes rather than high fashion), however, Jonathan Saunders’s winter collection was in fact one of the strongest shown in any country this year so far. The Saunders collection fused the square modernism of Prada, the colour blocking of recent Jil Sander, and at times the patterning of Dries Van Noten to create a thoroughly fresh 1960s-revisited-for-the-modern-day approach with an optimistic flare of colour and summery prints during the winter months.

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LIFESTYLE

A Life On The Edge… Text Jenny Gramnes

Andy Garreth is a 31 year old doctor. He is also a base jumper, has over 4000 skydives under his belt, and has just returned from an Everest expedition. Insanely enough, he is also a scuba diver, sailor, downhill skier, and a pilot for non-commercial planes—but he does not agree with being called an adrenaline addict. When asked if his head does not feel like exploding after a whole day of skydiving, he compares it to alpine skiing or being a kid on a slide: “you just have so much fun doing it and when you get back down, you just want to go back up and do it again and again. Skydiving is still hugely enjoyable even if it gives me zero adrenaline now!” When he put his job as a doctor on hold to work as a skydiving instructor in Taupo, New Zealand, it dramatically transformed what is usually considered a once-in-a-lifetime experience, to something of a regular day at work: “people just couldn’t understand it when we said we got excited about finishing for the day so that we could go fishing or something like that. Things like going to town for a good night out—that’s exciting stuff for me.” That Andy also knows how to fly a plane and has extensive mountaineering experience, has led to some interesting opportunities. For the recent Everest expedition, they needed someone with his skills in aviation and medicine to design an oxygen system for the plane, with the project taking over a year to plan. During the

expedition, Andy stayed at Everest Base Camp and says that he would actually rather climb nearby mountains Nuptse, Lhotse and Ama Dablan, before he would climb Everest itself: “Everest is something people climb just to have climbed it. You don’t even really need any previous mountaineering experience to go to Everest. In my life, I have always done things because they are difficult.” Andy has also been asked to go to the North Pole for a project scheduled for April this year. A project which will likely see Andy doing a skydive over the North Pole as well as scuba diving in a circle around it, underneath the thick Arctic ice: “the aim is to drill a hole in the ice and then dive around the Pole which means that by the time we get back up, we will have travelled around the world, and all the different time zones, in just something like two minutes,” tells Andy. Andy was not always this extreme: “I was a very boring kid,” says Andy. “Always the sensible one. I remember when I was 14 and went on a cultural exchange to France for a few weeks and didn’t like it at all. I didn’t enjoy the travelling and just wanted to be back home again. I didn’t like taking any risks at all when I was that young.” At 17, the turning point in his life came when he helped

organise his first skydive for a charity project in school: “the skydive was just the most amazing thing I had ever done in my life and I met some very interesting people . I got invited on a two week trip for a skydiving world record attempt in Florida and it had a huge impact on my life. I think my friends thought I was a very different person when I came home.” Surprisingly, something that Andy is not so keen on is actually bungee jumping: “it’s horrible! You don’t have any control and put all your faith in something that you can’t do anything about. It’s a little scary.” Fearful or not, a lifestyle like this is bound to include some near-death experiences, and Andy has been forced to release his reserve parachute on four or five different occasions. Once during a base jump in Switzerland, he came extremely close to hitting a rock and at that critical moment, he just remembers feeling incredibly stupid: “you know that it’s happening because of something that you did, you could have done something different to change it.” And will he continue this lifestyle after settling down?: “I think the question is more: will I ever even have a family if I continue with this lifestyle?”

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Sports Bottle Match Weekend: Friday 25th February – Sunday 27th February

strapping appeared pregnant) drove CSM to victory in the face of a late RSM charge, the 64-40 result managing to flatter RSM.

Text: Chris Rushton

The 109th Bottle Match weekend was the first one I’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing, having been back in ‘luvly’ Birmingham last year when we hosted the competition. So you can imagine the anticipation, the nervousness, and excitement that I felt as we boarded the coach to travel ‘up-country’ to London on the Friday having only heard Chinese Whispers of what the next few days would have in store for me - the laughs, the drinks…the abuse. With the coach going up to London on a Friday, most of us had refrained from going to Club I or Shades the previous night, knowing that we had would be on a confined vessel for the best part of 6 or 7 hours the next day, as well as having a match on the Saturday. Step forward Vice-Captain Ryan Sweet. Turning up at our house at 8 am, looking thoroughly worse for wear, his trousers proceeded to fall down sporadically on the walk down to the bus stop at the Moor, giving anyone looking quite the view of his Casper-the-friendly-ghostesque pale legs. Now I’m not just telling you this for my own amusement, this was to be a foreboding sequence of events for the day to come. We boarded the coach about 9 am, thinking something was slightly amiss. It wasn’t a cold day and already the radiators were pumping out heat. We set off after about half an hour of waiting, laughing at Ryan’s worsening condition, his increasingly pale complexion and the ever-closer anticipation of him throwing up all over CSM FC’s Fashion Advisor, Daniel Rainbird, seated in front of him. The heat continued to be pumped into the cramped vehicle until it was bordering on unbearable. People were shifting in their seats, and ruing not wearing shorts or loose fitting bottoms as the temperature rose and conditions in the coach started resembling the Black Hole of Calcutta. So, to come back to Ryan Sweet; the towering centre-back looked as squashed into his seat as anyone on our coach. Given that moving would in all likelihood lead to vomiting, he was the picture of unhappiness, especially whilst eating a sandwich that looked like it had baby sh*t for a filling. Naturally, being still drunk, and still in the mindset that everything he could do would be a good idea, he stood up and dropped his trousers, spending the rest of the trip up until our first service station stop glowing as brightly and as whitely as the moon. I’m no stranger to the sight of a trouser less vice-Captain (insert buggery joke here), so it only seems fair that the rest of the team should also be in the same position. Builds camaraderie. Anywho, I shan’t bore you with the minute-details of our coach journey into London, other than to tell you that Mr. Sweet didn’t throw up and we did eventually solve the temperature situation by opening what looked to be the emergency hatches located on the roof. The coach eventually found its way to the Premier Inn where we were staying, just outside of Heathrow, and a quick turnaround led to us being transported to the school where the basketball and netball took place. We had unfortunately missed the golf and squash, but were informed that we had lost both…bit sh*t, but we’d bring it back…I hoped. The arena was small, and the atmosphere was intense as the basketball began. Now, I don’t really know a great tonne about basketball. I did once go to a Birmingham Bullets match…when I was about 7. Never been to anything netball-related, whilst we’re on the subject of sports, I’ll be writing about but couldn’t tell you what to call the referee. Hockey too, for that matter. But I digress. From my vantage point as an ignorant spectator, it seemed as if the match was tight, play moving really quite swiftly from end to end. The RSM number 10 (no idea what position he played, I’ll make it up and say ‘Point Guard’ to gloss over my stupidity) was in the centre of, well, everything, causing problems and even rising to the CSM supporters’ comments and almost inevitably squaring up to Ryan Sweet, who later pulled several moonies during RSM free-throws and was banished to the bleachers by the racist official. I don’t know what the score was at half-time, but I remember someone telling me that we were winning, which was nice. Star turns from Leon Simmons, Sam Davies and Jake Wright (whose horribly bruised and swollen ankle, when you looked underneath the

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The first victory of the 2011 Bottle Match for CSM had the supporters cock-a-hoop (I’m bringing the term back) as we ran off for a bite to eat before the netball, missing the opening exchanges. As we returned to the hall where the basketball was held, we wondered what was going on; we had expected to return to the steady din of victorious CSM chanting but instead found it deserted. Apparently, RSM’s netball team play their matches outside, on the school’s concrete court. Now this wouldn’t pose a problem if the sky resembled the Simpsons title screen, and obviously netball matches across the world are played on a concrete, outside court. However, the match started at about 8 pm and was being floodlit by lights from the surrounding buildings. Bullsh*t. No one had informed our team that they would be playing outside, in well, totally shitty conditions to play netball in (or so I’m told, but even a netball-simpleton such as myself could tell that it was an odd decision to stage the match there and then). Anyway, we took our positions on the side of the court and watched as the CSM girls held their own in a difficult match. The score in 2006 ended 4-1 to RSM, and last year 15-4 again in their favour (thank you Wikipedia), so RSM’s 34-15 victory seemed freakishly large on both sides, helped in part by good finishing (sorry for the generic football term,

but I’m not too sure of netball vocab) by RSM’s Goal Shooter. Apologies for not really giving much in the way of action, I hope

sports@flexnews.co.uk

the photos do it more justice than I can. [Insert netball picture] After getting back to the hotel and sleeping, we convened Saturday morning for breakfast, the atmosphere flitting incessantly between nervousness and excitement. The first match would be the ladies’ hockey, which we were going to spectate, then the men’s equivalent, before our game with the rugby to follow. The sky was overcast and a constant drizzle enshrouded us as the CSM players and supporters lined up on the opposite side of the AstroTurf hockey pitch to the RSM following. The drizzle turned into a torrential downpour as the girls’ hockey got underway, but it couldn’t dampen the atmosphere, as supporters encouraged their respective sides. Much like the basketball, the game was tightly contested, RSM finding themselves undeservedly 2-0 ahead before being pinned back, 2 CSM goals in quick succession evening up the contest. The football team were soaked through, all trying to huddle under one tiny, portable umbrella and looking forward to just being able to warm up. CSM took the lead shortly after the restart, after what I’m told was a short corner to send the away supporters into raptures. The game became scrappy,

with both sides attempting to win the battle in the middle of the park (again, sorry for the constant generic football references). I missed the goal that gave RSM the lead as I was having a wee, but I was back to see the 5th, a shot from an RSM player sending the ball and her stick flying, the ball being cleared but then poked in to give RSM a 5-3 victory, their first in 12 years. With the score now standing 4-1 in RSM’s favour, it was up to the men’s hockey and football to bring us within 1 event; the rugby would be decisive not only for the bottle, but would underscore an overall draw that would allow CSM to retain bragging rights. We left the men’s hockey finely balanced, the score 0-0 at half-time as Captain Jimbo Williams called for us to enter the dressing room. It was tense; despite the confidence we all had in ourselves and own ability, we had a few minutes to compose our thoughts before calming words from Jimbo and Ryan took us into the warm-up. Here is where it gets exciting, and where I got to experience the Bottle Match properly, at first-hand for the first time. As we set out the cones into the grid that we used to get our limbs loose and our blood flowing, a select group of RSM supporters who had been watching the hockey tailed off and came to give us a few friendly words of advice. The one guy we had seen before, at the netball, shouting really, really inane sh*t at the CSM Wing Attack. We had nicknamed him Gimli, after the short, fat guy in the Lord of the Rings series. One would think that his physical afflictions would detract from his confidence in abusing us, the finely-tuned athletes of CSM FC. But that would be to miss the point of the Bottle Match. Gimli and the rest of his entourage, beer cans in hand (it was no later than 11.15 am) launched into a motley tirade, labelling us – amongst other things – inbred, gay, and sh*t. It was fairly monotonous; I would have congratulated him if it had been in any way clever. My mother got called a slag when I can be fairly certain he has never even met my mother. Their abuse was having the opposite effect to the one they desired, instead of intimidating us it simply served to focus our minds, destroying any hint of nervousness and replacing it with a burning energy, the very sinews of our body twitching in anticipation of winning. Oh yeah, someone pissed on our training cones, which was a bit


Sports

unpleasant. Cheers from the CSM supporters still watching the hockey intercepted us as we walked back into the dressing room, and we later found out that they had emerged victorious, winning 4-1 in the end with goals from Will Herzog, Michael Cockeril, and two from Jamie Clark. As we put on our shirts, Jimbo and Ryan delivered rousing words in order to get us fired up for the match ahead. We made our way to the pitch, finding it boggy yet flatter than any ground we had played on all year. The match started in front of only a handful of people on the sidelines, with supporters still making their way over from the hockey. It may have taken a few minutes, but eventually each wing was heaving with fans. CSM started the match brightly, refusing to get weighed down in the centre of the park and moving the ball well. Tom O’Reilly and Stephen Divers were marauding up the left, being found time and time again by Angus Donaldson and Will Jenkinson, the latter two controlling the midfield like a modern-day Roy Keane and Paul Ince, without one of them being black and one of them being Irish. It wasn’t long before we broke the deadlock, an expert finish from the Captain himself Jimbo Williams after neat buildup play giving CSM a 1-0 lead. It was 2-0 soon after, Si O’Neill heading in from a Matt Du Gay corner after practising the exact same thing in training all week. Practice makes perfect. Despite pressuring high up the pitch and hitting the bar twice, CSM went into half-time still only 2 goals ahead and in the knowledge that the game should have been out of sight.

last 5 minutes into a nervous finale. The taker stepped up, a left-footer; I decided to dive to my right, his right shoulder dropping slightly meant the likelihood was that he would place it that side. He hit the ball cleanly, but straight down the middle, going more for power than position, flying past my outstretched foot and into the net. So much for my penalty save. RSM had 5 minutes plus injury time to find a leveller, but again the defence stayed resolute in their steadfastness, not allowing the RSM forwards any room to shoot as they were wont to do with such little time left. As the final whistle blew, the CSM support on the sidelines let out an almighty cheer; CSM had ran out deserved 3-2 winners, bringing the overall result to 4-3 in RSM’s favour and setting the rugby boys up to draw us level and bring the bottle back to Cornwall.

at the end, CSM couldn’t claw their way back into the game, the result finishing RSM 25 – 20 CSM; RSM 5 – 3 CSM overall. The rugby result left us with a bit of a damp squib on the hands of CSM; in spite of it, the football blokes went up to the bar to continue drinking. I shan’t bore you with the details, as no one wants to hear about other people’s nights out. I’ll let the pictures do it justice. One last word, however; we all had a brilliant weekend, one that I won’t forget and ranks up there with my best times at University. Without meaning to treat it like I’m dying, I will have graduated by the time the next Bottle Match rolls around. I hope all of you first and second years make the most of it, get royally drunk if you’re supporting, and bring the bottle back home if you’re playing (then get drunk). You never know, I might even make an appearance as one of those creepy people who have graduated but still turn up every now and then.

We missed the start of the rugby (déjà vu), getting to the pitch - beers in hand - to see CSM score the first of two successive tries that gave them a 13-10 lead. Tellingly, there was less abuse shouted during the rugby than there had been all weekend, due in no small part to every single player being big, broad, or just plain hench. The score remained the same until half-time, with the rain lashing down. This wasn’t enough to deter the streaking that occurred, begun by C.S.M. whose naked man ran to the conferring R.S.M. rugby team, their number 2 shoulder-blocking him and sending him flying. This instigated a buttock free-for-all, with men from both sides getting involved, supporters bearing witness The supporters’ drinking had by now been going for what I imagine would be close to 5 hours, and it was getting pretty rowdy on the sidelines, with mud wrestling (involving both girls and boys) spilling onto the pitch, once forcing the RSM winger to dribble round them whilst play continued early in the second half. Ewan MacDougall at right back was getting the worst of it, having a wine bottle thrown at him and even being spat on. Despite the best efforts of both sides, the game descended into a scrappy affair, the conditions turning the midfield into a swamp with neither side having clear cut chances, Ryan Sweet and Calum MacDougall marshalling the defence well. CSM and Si O’Neill proceeded to get their second 60 minutes in and at 3-0 up, School were cruising. Dan Rose, Ben Vidler and Daniel Rainbird came on to give fresh legs to the attack, Rainbird in particular putting their defence on the back foot once again. However it would be RSM who scored next, a speculative shot from their best player, the attacking midfielder wearing number 10 took a huge deflection of Cal MacDougall’s giant head and flew at a horrible angle to my right, past my despairing dive and nestling in the bottom corner of the net. The goal gave new impetus to the RSM. team and supporters alike, the back 4 repelling wave after wave of long balls, Ryan and Cal in particular making welltimed blocks in and around the penalty area. RSM had brought on a replacement striker, replete with long hair and headband, who was causing problems more by dint of running around a lot than talent. One of the frequent long balls was played into him ,and as he and Ewan MacDougall tussled, the RSM striker tripped himself up and pirouetted to the floor. I heard the whistle go and looked up to see the referee pointing to the spot. I laughed and shook my head, remonstrating with the referee whilst at the same time scuffing the penalty spot to try and make it more difficult for whoever took the penalty. Du Gay had been joking before the game that he hoped I had nothing to do before saving a penalty with the last kick of the game. Well it was the 85th minute, I’d only had one save to make all game and a goal for RSM would turn the

to a bit too much muddy cock for anyone’s liking (presumably). The tide turned in the second-half as we began to get progressively drunker, noticeably Jimbo Williams drinking a lovely concoction of champagne, port, beer, and whatever else he could find out of the Cup we won. After a spell of heavy pressure, the RSM outside-centre swallow-dived over the line to put them ahead; the try was duly converted, then a penalty and another, unconverted try extended RSM’s lead. Despite a consolation try

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FLEX Newspaper 18 March 14th  

FLEX Newspaper 18. March 14th

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