WOW! WHAT A YEAR IT HAS BEEN FOR XXXCHURCH AND OUR FAMILY. 2019 was a year of transition. We had our first child, we were ordained, and we became the new faces of XXXchurch.com. Leading XXXchurch is nothing short of a miracle. Who would have thought a woman who was once in the industry and helped by XXXchurch would now be running it? Only God.
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Rich and I are here with joyful hearts, so excited for this opportunity. In July, we released a new podcast/video series called eXXXamine - Real & Raw Conversations About Porn & Purity. This series provides tools for healing through honest discussions. We shared Melinda’s heartfelt story. In fear of becoming homeless, Melinda started performing in porn. But God had other plans for her life. You can read her story inside this magazine. Our volunteer team showed up to four porn conventions in 2019, which enabled us to engage with hundreds of people-- those working in the sex industry and those consuming pornography. We’ve got stories from those outreaches in this magazine for you to see first hand how our work is still impacting people. Since giving birth to our daughter, we now more than ever want to see God’s daughters brought back to Him. In 2020, XXXchurch will attend at least four more porn conventions. The convention hires women they call “Hotties” to walk the showroom floor and engage with customers. We will expand on the private “Hotties Room,” which is a room for adult entertainers to stop in for breaks. We provide snacks and toiletry items, but this is where connections and ministry happen one-on-one.
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This ministry is donor-funded, we need your support to continue showing up for people and providing the support and resources they need to live the life God intended for them! This Christmas, we are asking you to partner with us. God is doing a new thing, and we need your help to walk it out. As always, your donation is tax-deductible. Thank you for your support, Richard & Brittni De La Mora
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O UTREACHES As Christmas approaches and a new year will be
celebrated, we want to show you a snapshot of what your giving and support has enabled this ministry to do in 2019. Ministry is about people. It is about connection. It is about bringing light and love to a broken world, and to the people who are on a journey trying to navigate it.
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If you are familiar with our ministry, you have heard of the infamous “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” quote that we penned in 2002. You probably also know that we have gone to porn-industry conventions for the last 17 years to share the heart of God for all people. What you may not know (and I touched on earlier) is that we also have a team in place that does ministry in the Hotties Room of each eXXXotica convention throughout the year. Recently on a phone call with the owner of eXXXotica, he said something I will never forget: “You are the longest standing vendor at our show. We have benefitted from your presence. We want you here. You are the tagline of hope for those who may not benefit from what is showcased here.” It is truly mind-blowing that A CHURCH (XXXchurch) is the longest standing vendor at a porn show, and they want us there. We must be consistent in showing up to cultivate and grow these relationships beyond a one-time meeting. Our teams show up, and they are present to serve people in ways that leave them feeling loved, unique, and engaged. I asked Natasha who heads up our Hotties Room outreach to share with you what the team experiences and sees during their time of serving at these outreaches, and this is what she said: “The heart of the Hotties Room is building relationships, and through showing up over the years, we have seen those relationships grow.
MINISTRY IS ABOUT PEOPLE.
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IT IS ABOUT CONNECTION. IT IS ABOUT BRINGING LIGHT AND LOVE TO A BROK EN WORLD I met a performer in 2013 and have had opportunities to meet with her outside of eXXXotica. In recent years we had a group of women from New York custom make blankets for the performers. We gave these out in the Hotties Room. One woman came back this year and was raving about how much she loves her blanket. She proceeded to tell me that she could use some prayer. Without hesitation, I prayed with her on the spot. ‘Thank you, girls, for doing all this.’ The statement came from a young man awkwardly looking up from his phone.
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I wasn’t sure how to respond except to say, “You’re welcome. Our pleasure.” Probably not the best choice of words for a dressing room at a porn show, but I couldn’t take it back. However, it does get me thinking. I can be a bit goofy and awkward, but I do my best to be my authentic self, and I think they can sense that. We are not there to preach to them or shove religion down their throat. We are there to love them as themselves by being ourselves. By carrying the One who loves us as ourselves, no strings attached. The most random things (you wouldn’t typically expect to get an appreciation for) come sincerely. When I was in the bathroom cleaning the appliance for the smoothies, one of the dancers said, ‘Wow! Hot food; now that is real love!’ She was referring to the wonderful Italian food we had there for them.
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WE ARE THERE TO LOVE THEM AS THEMSELVES BY BEING OURSELVES.
One of the most heartfelt moments of the outreach that make you realize God has us there for a reason greater than our understanding is the hugs we get from the women when we are leaving.â&#x20AC;? I said it before, I will repeat it.
WE MUST BE CONSISTENT IN SHOWING UP TO CULTIVATE AND GROW THESE RELATIONSHIPS.
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EVERYONE MATTERS Since the beginning, we have been a resource for men and women affected by pornography, but let’s be honest--providing resources for women struggling with pornography has been more complicated. A stigma exists that says pornography is a man’s issue; therefore, that belief system increases the shame level for women who then feel ostracised and alone, so they don’t ask for help.
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In 2019 we saw a shift. More women than ever before, were coming forward asking for help. Statistics show that one in three people who watch pornography are women. Yet, these women have said there isn’t much help available out there for them. XXXchurch wanted to be the change. This year we expanded our resources to help women. We partnered with women who have successfully overcome their porn addictions, with the help of our resources, and asked them to write articles to help others like them who are struggling. These are just some of the responses we received: “This is very refreshing and motivating. I’ve never heard of a woman who was addicted to porn, and I’ve never heard churches talk about women addicted, I’ve only seen the need to help men. I want to learn more about the recovery process for women.”
THIS YEAR WE EXPANDED OUR RESOURCES TO HELP WOMEN.
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“I am so glad you’re helping and acknowledging that women struggle with porn too! I struggled for a long time, but couldn’t find any resources geared toward women. But God was (IS) faithful!” “This is so important. I struggled for years, but because I am a woman, I was overlooked.” “I am still on the path, even with some failures... I have Psalm 51 repentance moments, where I seek God’s face every time and realize He already knew all of my failures and loves me the very same. I am learning that He works all things together for good. The enemy won’t get the victory, even though at the moment, it might seem that way. God is faithful, even when I am not.” “This is exactly how I felt when I suddenly stopped watching porn. I stopped, but I wasn’t free. God is getting to the root of the issue. He is beginning to completely heal me instead of just getting rid of the surface issue. This blog is so true! Thank you, XXXchurch!” “So good! So true. Thanks for talking about women and lust.” Reading the testimonies that women continue to send us further solidifies the fact that XXXchurch needs to keep providing resources for them so that they may find the healing they desire!
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This year XXXchurch launched eXXXamine - Real and Raw Conversations about Porn & Purity. We created this series so people could get answers to the questions theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been afraid to ask, tools that bring healing, and encouragement in their journey, wherever they may be.
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To do this, we interviewed a variety of people that have been affected by pornography. We share heartfelt stories that people can find relatable. We still have six more episodes to air, but we want to share what people are saying about the episodes (and give you access as well)! Bri Azucena is a former female porn addict who found healing through Jesus, accountability, and X3watch - our online accountability software. “Wow, I have the same issue. I was exposed to porn at eight years old, as well. It became an addiction without even realizing it because of how young I was. It’s nice to know that I am not alone.” “Thank you so much for starting this series with a woman’s story! Break that stigma!”
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“This is awesome! Thank you for giving women a voice!” “I cannot express how refreshing this is. It motivates my soul! I’ve also struggled with masturbation and porn. To hear another young woman’s story makes me feel less ashamed like I’m not the only woman who has dealt with this shame. To see how God is willing and able to break these chains for all of us is encouraging! Thank you for this! Up until recently, I had never heard of a young woman in the church that struggled with porn. The church needs to be more open about helping women, as well. Thank you XXXchurch, you are the light in the darkness with this ministry.” Pastor TJ Anglin, of Cornerstone Church in San Diego. He is a husband, father, and friend in addition to his role as pastor. In this interview, he offers biblical advice for addicts, parents, and couples. “Excellent. Love the open, transparent, authentic discussion. I sent it to my two kids before I even reached the end.”
“TO SEE HOW GOD IS WILLING AND ABLE TO BREAK THESE CHAINS FOR ALL OF US IS ENCOURAGING!”
“I enjoyed this interview. It helped in a lot of ways. Keep them coming, please.” “I am so glad I found this series. This was a great episode! Keep up the great work XXXchurch!”
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Richard De La Mora (my husband and co-leader of XXXchurch) practiced sexual purity for eight years before marrying me. We talk about what purity means and why it’s important to be pure of heart, and from there, the rest will follow. “I’m so glad I found this! Keep up the great work, XXXchurch!” “The way he said, “purity is a lifestyle”
“EXCELLENT. LOVE THE OPEN, TRANSPARENT, AUTHENTIC DISCUSSION.”
I’ve never heard anyone put it like that. This is an interesting way of looking at it.” “It’s really good to hear him talk about purity like that!! That confirms my beliefs about keeping myself pure!! Thank you for sharing that conversation!!”
“Yes! The thought life! Jesus goes much deeper than the action. He says if we are committed in our hearts, then it’s done. Thanks for doing these! I signed up to receive notifications for these. They are perfect for anyone, whether they battle with porn or not. These episodes contain lessons for everyone.” Cynthia Maselli was a virgin until marriage. Cynthia mentored me (Brittni) after I left the porn industry and taught me how to walk in purity.
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“What an encouraging interview. Loved it.” “This interview was so timely. I seriously love all your content and ministry overall.” “The pain of patience is far less than the pain of regret.” So very true, excellent interview.” “Loved the interview. I appreciate your ministry so much!”
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A FULL CIRCLE MOMENT MELINDA’S STORY In 2013, I shared my story of meeting Rachel at a porn convention while I was in the adult film industry. Rachel, a team member of XXXchurch, showed me God’s unconditional love, which ultimately led me out of the industry.
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Rachel would bring me gifts, expecting nothing in return, and was the only one at the porn shows that genuinely cared about me. The real me, not the “porn star” me. The fact that she showed up to just about every porn show I attended and always came bearing gifts and good conversation, showed me that she cared. We would talk about my life outside of porn just like friends would do. I remember being so excited to tell her that I had been baptized and was reading the Bible every day. Three years ago, I had the opportunity to share that same love with Melinda. We met when she reached out to me for help on Instagram. I remembered how much the gifts Rachel gave me meant, so I made sure that every time I saw Melinda, I shared the same genuine love and care. I took her out for meals. We went on outings to the beach and had uplifting conversations. Melinda now refers to me as the big sister she never had, but always wanted. I invited Melinda to come and stay at my home to allow her to leave the industry without worrying about where she would go. Sadly, she just wasn’t quite ready. The next time I saw her was in January 2017 at the adult entertainment convention. I was with XXXchurch handing out bibles and sharing God’s love by engaging people in genuine conversation. I was so grateful that I ran into Melinda.
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SHE DECIDED TO ALLOW HER FAITH TO MOVE HER.
This connection was divine. I stayed in touch and prayed for her often. God began to move in her heart. Through our conversations, she started to believe He had something more significant for her future. Melinda was no longer afraid of what her life would look like after porn. She decided to allow her faith to move her. Not long after seeing each other at that porn convention, she quit the industry once and for all. Melinda has been out of the industry for almost two years. She is currently in school and has the 9-5 job that we prayed she would acquire. She is full of life and joy as she is walking in her destiny. We show up at these conventions for people like Melinda. Most people walk in darkness because theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve yet to encounter the light. With your help, we can continue to be LIGHT in dark places.
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YO U R G IV ING C A N
This Christmas, I am asking you to partner with us in whatever way you can. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to be honest. When Rich and I took over this ministry, we created a 2020 Vision and asked for support to kick-off our takeover, and while kind-hearted people graciously gave, we did not come near our goal for what is needed to continue.
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If XXXchurch is going to exist, we need you to help us make it happen. We are committed to outreaching, providing resources, and being available to help people. I know you see the difference we’re making through the connections and the outcomes we’ve shared.
PLEASE PARTNER WITH US, SO THIS CAN CONTINUE.
GIVE NOW ONLINE
SNAIL MAIL GIVING X3Christmas Fireproof Ministries PO Box 50048 Pasadena CA 91115 626-628-3387
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STOCK DONATIONS e: email@example.com
DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO NEEDS HELP OR WOULD BENEFIT FROM OUR RESOURCES? We have a team in place to listen and give guidance. There is always help and hope at XXXchurch.com.
DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO WOULD APPRECIATE THE WORK WEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;RE DOING? Please share X3Christmas with them. We need supporters now more than ever!
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