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May 1, 2012 Matther R. Horton, Ph. D. Assistant Professor of English Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 313b Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA 30677

Dear Dr. Horton, I feel as if it is my duty as a student to tell you my general impression of English 1101, as well as the achievements I have made throughout the course of the semester. Throughout this portfolio you will see samples of my old writings, such as Article Responses and Article Essays, and the recent revisions I have made to them to finalize each piece. Some of the corrections that will be revealed in this portfolio will deal with grammar, spelling, re-wording statements and sentences, and punctuation. Throughout this course I have made the mistake of misusing commas and semicolons as well as leaving fragments. I have often found that at times my work does not flow nor have strong enough thesis statements. However, now that this class has ended, I feel as if I have benefited and learned from my mistakes. Throughout this portfolio you will be able to see my improvements as well as evidence supporting the achievements I have made over the semester.

My least successful Article Response was the first one that I had done, which I earned a sixty on. The reasons for me earning such a low grade on this Article Response were the following: the response itself was too lengthy and the response as a whole did not flow very well. As well as the length not being sufficient, I had many grammar errors, such as fragments, improper formatting/citation, vague ideas and off topic ideas. I believe that there were a few things contributing to the grade I received. First of all, it was the first response I had to write. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect as far as grading and layout went. Since I was not clear of how to write one very well, I kept writing on and on. I tended to drag out my thoughts and ideas, which was mentioned on turnitin.com. While dragging on my sentences and ideas, I feel as if I lost the key message that I was trying to get across, causing me to ultimately get off topic. However, after it was finalized and I went over the response, I feel as if the length was more appropriate and the work itself was well thought of. I believe that the grammar errors were fixed as well and the article itself. I hope you are as happy with the progress I have made in this class as I am.


My most successful Article Response was one that I had done for extra credit. It was over Jason Segel becoming the director for the new Muppets movie. I earned an eighty on this response. I feel that the reason I earned such a higher grade on this response compared to the others responses is because I was actually interested in the article. As well as being interested in the article, I felt as if I could easily relate to Jason and could write freely on the idea without getting off topic. I made the article response short and kept focus on the key information. I kept rolling forward with the ideas that I believed I could relate with from the article. While I was writing this article response, unlike my least successful article, I had tried making statements I knew sounded correct as far as grammar goes. Therefore, keeping the response short helped it to stay on track, clear, and neat. In my portfolio, you will see my revisions over this article. The majority of the revisions and improvements that I have made were centered on grammar errors, re-writing sentences and formatting errors.

My most successful Article Essay was also over the Jason Segal article. On this assignment, I earned a seventy five. This essay had only been three points higher than my worst essay, but I felt as if it was much better. The reason for me believing this is because it was based off of the same idea as my highest article response grade. Since I did fairly well on the response I felt as if I could expand more on the idea I was working on. I could relate to the article on a more personal level. Many of the mistakes that I had made in my article essay were the following: missing commas, vague statements, improper formatting and wrong use of coordinating conjunctions. After revising my essay, I used my mistakes as an opportunity to learn and better my future essays.

Throughout all of the writing processes that we have done over this semester, I have noticed many ongoing problems with my writing. I have also created goals that I would like to accomplish as a writer now, and in the future. Many of my current problems as a writer that I have noticed are meniscal. Some of which I have already mentioned above, such as grammar errors, missing commas, incorrect formatting and vague statements. Rather than making a notice of these mistakes in the beginning of the semester, I let them slide by until the very end of the semester to begin to correct them. Another one of my problems that I have noticed in my writing is that I tend to drag on with my work and write more than I have to. This common mistake of mine usually makes me lose focus on what I should have been writing about. To help further benefit me and my writing for the future, I made myself some goals to set so that I can hopefully one day reach them. For one, I want to take more time reading articles that I may have to write over so that I can fully understand what the main ideas are. Another one of my goals is to


obviously work on my grammar and get help with it over the summer so that I will be ready for my next English class. Also, I want to try and put more time and energy into my writing so that I can stay more focused and be more aware of what my writing style is and correct my use of fragments and punctuation. These are just some of the on continuing goals that I would like to work on, based off my writing experience to help benefit me. Throughout this semester, I have noticed many mistakes and errors that I would like to fix. With these goals set and my hard efforts, I believe that I can achieve them over the course of this summer.

Based off of the work that I have done in this class, I believe that I should be earning at least a eighty-five. There are multiple reasons for me believing this. For one, I have shown up to class more than seventy five percent of the time. The reason for my attendance was to gain teacher and peer assistance to better my writing. Also, I believe that in my article responses I stated strong ideas and gave clear statements. Throughout the course of this semester, I have shown great improvements on both my grammar and organization of ideas. Overall, I strongly believe that I have been an average student to say the least, and deserve to be at least passing the class with a “C.� After going through my portfolio, I have noticed and made marks to most of my errors. Over this past course I have shown that I know what I am doing and that I have what it takes to become a successful writer, in this class as well as in future writing classes. My only hope is that you will agree. Sincerely,

Pete Stojanovic


English1101 Final Portfolio Project Title

Table of Contents

Analytical Cover Letter................................................................................................................... 1

QualityComparison......................................................................................................................... 4

Least Successful Article Response...................................................................................... 5

Most Successful Article Response....................................................................................... 7 “What’s the Difference?”.................................................................................................... 9

RevisionSamples........................................................................................................................... 11

Least Successful Article Response(with markup)............................................................ 12

Least Successful Article Response(final)......................................................................... 14

Most Successful Article Response(with markup)............................................................. 16

Most Successful Article Response(final).......................................................................... 18

Most Successful Essay (with markup)............................................................................... 20


Most Successful Essay (final)............................................................................................ 25


May 1, 2012 Matther R. Horton, Ph. D. Assistant Professor of English Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 313b Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA 30677 Dear Dr. Horton, I feel as if it is my duty as a student to tell you my general impression of English 1101, as well as the achievements I have made throughout the course of the semester. Throughout this portfolio you will see samples of my old writings, such as Article Responses and Article Essays, and the recent revisions I have made to them to finalize each piece. Some of the corrections that will be revealed in this portfolio will deal with grammar, spelling, re-wording statements and sentences, and punctuation. Throughout this course I have made the mistake of misusing commas and semicolons as well as leaving fragments. I have often found that at times my work does not flow nor have strong enough thesis statements. However, now that this class has ended, I feel as if I have benefited and learned from my mistakes. Throughout this portfolio you will be able to see my improvements as well as evidence supporting the achievements I have made over the semester. My least successful Article Response was the first one that I had done, which I earned a sixty on. The reasons for me earning such a low grade on this Article Response were the following: the response itself was too lengthy and the response as a whole did not flow very well. As well as the length not being sufficient, I had many grammar errors, such as fragments, improper formatting/citation, vague ideas and off topic ideas. I believe that there were a few things contributing to the grade I received. First of all, it was the first response I had to write. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect as far as grading and layout went. Since I was not clear of how to write one very well, I kept writing on and on. I tended to drag out my thoughts and ideas, which was mentioned on turnitin.com. While dragging on my sentences and ideas, I feel as if I lost the key message that I was trying to get across, causing me to ultimately get off topic. However, after it was finalized and I went over the response, I feel as if the length was more appropriate and the work itself was well thought of. I believe that the grammar errors were fixed as well and the article itself. I hope you are as happy with the progress I have made in this class as I am.

1


My most successful Article Response was one that I had done for extra credit. It was over Jason Segel becoming the director for the new Muppets movie. I earned an eighty on this response. I feel that the reason I earned such a higher grade on this response compared to the others responses is because I was actually interested in the article. As well as being interested in the article, I felt as if I could easily relate to Jason and could write freely on the idea without getting off topic. I made the article response short and kept focus on the key information. I kept rolling forward with the ideas that I believed I could relate with from the article. While I was writing this article response, unlike my least successful article, I had tried making statements I knew sounded correct as far as grammar goes. Therefore, keeping the response short helped it to stay on track, clear, and neat. In my portfolio, you will see my revisions over this article. The majority of the revisions and improvements that I have made were centered on grammar errors, re-writing sentences and formatting errors. My most successful Article Essay was also over the Jason Segal article. On this assignment, I earned a seventy five. This essay had only been three points higher than my worst essay, but I felt as if it was much better. The reason for me believing this is because it was based off of the same idea as my highest article response grade. Since I did fairly well on the response I felt as if I could expand more on the idea I was working on. I could relate to the article on a more personal level. Many of the mistakes that I had made in my article essay were the following: missing commas, vague statements, improper formatting and wrong use of coordinating conjunctions. After revising my essay, I used my mistakes as an opportunity to learn and better my future essays. Throughout all of the writing processes that we have done over this semester, I have noticed many ongoing problems with my writing. I have also created goals that I would like to accomplish as a writer now, and in the future. Many of my current problems as a writer that I have noticed are meniscal. Some of which I have already mentioned above, such as grammar errors, missing commas, incorrect formatting and vague statements. Rather than making a notice of these mistakes in the beginning of the semester, I let them slide by until the very end of the semester to begin to correct them. Another one of my problems that I have noticed in my writing is that I tend to drag on with my work and write more than I have to. This common mistake of mine usually makes me lose focus on what I should have been writing about. To help further benefit me and my writing for the future, I made myself some goals to set so that I can hopefully one day reach them. For one, I want to take more time reading articles that I may have to write over so that I can fully understand what the main ideas are. Another one of my goals is to obviously work on my grammar and get help with it over the summer so that I will be ready for my next English class. Also, I want to try and put more time and energy into my writing so that I can stay more focused and be more aware of what my writing style is and correct my use of fragments and punctuation. These are just some of the on continuing goals that I would like to work on, based off my writing experience to help benefit me. Throughout this semester, I have 2


noticed many mistakes and errors that I would like to fix. With these goals set and my hard efforts, I believe that I can achieve them over the course of this summer. Based off of the work that I have done in this class, I believe that I should be earning at least a eighty-five. There are multiple reasons for me believing this. For one, I have shown up to class more than seventy five percent of the time. The reason for my attendance was to gain teacher and peer assistance to better my writing. Also, I believe that in my article responses I stated strong ideas and gave clear statements. Throughout the course of this semester, I have shown great improvements on both my grammar and organization of ideas. Overall, I strongly believe that I have been an average student to say the least, and deserve to be at least passing the class with a “C.� After going through my portfolio, I have noticed and made marks to most of my errors. Over this past course I have shown that I know what I am doing and that I have what it takes to become a successful writer, in this class as well as in future writing classes. My only hope is that you will agree. Sincerely, Pete Stojanovic

3


Parenthood Upbringing

Lori, Gottlieb. “How to land your Kid in Therapy.”Atlantic Magazine. The Atlantic

July/August 2011.

Physiologists say that parent’s behavior and childhoodraising plays a key role on their children and their later adulthood. ThisArticle starts off with the writer talking about being worried for raising herchild, because she wanted to do everything 'right'. She stated early on in thepassage that, 'it seemed like a lot could go wrong in the kid raisingdepartment'. Now it is the job of psychotherapists to "re-parent' all oftheir patients hoping that they can provide a better correction to theirchildhood experience. More and more of these kind of patients were going in andthey were nothing like the other textbook patients. They had all seemeddepressed and had anxiety problems which the writer couldn’t find anexplanation for with her patients saying that they loved their parents and hadgreat relationships with them, or that they were there best friends in theworld. Yet somehow all these young patients had felt that they were not asgreat as their parents told them they were. Most of the patients felt empty andhad problems finding there path of career and other relationship problems. Thenthe question arose, did their parents do too much? Her main patient Rubin hadwent on her own search for her pursuit of happiness. However we can never becompletely happy, we always want to be happier. Which isn’t a problem but asBarry Schwartz said, "Happiness as a goal is a recipe for disaster".This is what the author thinks the


problem is, parents are keeping their kidsaway from unhappiness that can occur in there life therefore as adults theythrive on happiness and praise like they had gotten from their parents in theirchildhood. In the end we see that parents are taking more consideration intotheir needs and confusing it with their children’s' needs. The patients thrivefor the attention and praise from their boss' or there partners like they hadonce gotten from their parents. Now that they are older and had moved away andare not getting the same attention they start to believe that they're not asamazing and great as their parents told them they were, and made them out tobe. This is the reason for her patients' depression and the feeling of thembeing empty. According to Donald Winnicott, 'You don't have to be a perfectmother to raise a well-adjusted kid, you just have to be good enough".It's said that parents these days are doing too much and are not letting theirchildren see what the real world is like and letting them experience moreemotions then just happiness. A comparison they used in this article was whenwe were kids and went to the park and we would fall or get hurt before we couldeven react to what happened, our parents swept us up and told us thateverything is okay, not letting us see and experience other emotions. Nowthey're stuck looking for the attention and approval and comfort they once gotas children. As said before it's always better to be a good enough parent thana perfect parent.

Many other scenarios such as these can be linked to thesetypes of patterns and or situations. The main purpose of this article is toshow the way parents raise their children has a huge effect on their future. Ifyou keep your kids sheltered away from the real world and their other emotionsthan just happiness like in the paragraph above, they may grow up and feel thata part of their life is empty or that they are not getting the attention andpraise they once had from their parents at an early age. This can happen inmany ways than just the one that the writer told. For


instance one connectionwould be school at a young age. Some parents when their kids are younger don’tpush them to study and try their hardest with it all. Therefore when it comestime for the kids to get a test or a report card and they see they have low orfailing grades their parents will say that it's okay and that they can alwaysdo better the next time. When this happens, kids think that it’s okay to justslide by life or think that it's okay, because their parents said so. Then whenthe kids get older and grow up and get into the real world they won't know howto deal with it and they'll eventually quit or just stop trying. There is athin line an being too involved in your child's life and then not being thatinvolved at all. This is the overall purpose of this passage. How parents areand treat their children is a key role on their life and when they becomeolder. In many ways then others they may feel like part of their childhood wasneglected or parts were missing; giving them that empty feeling and questioninglater at an early age. Being a parent is a huge responsibility in a child'slife. However, the way you parent can and is a crucial part of how your childgrows up and their behavioral patterns and emotions in the future.


Be thankful for what you have Goldman, Andrew. "Jason Segel, the Unlikely HeroBehind the New Muppet Movie." Wired Magazine, Novemeber 1, 2011. According to Andrew Goldman, Jason Segel would be a terrible candidate for the new Muppets movie; Due to his dirty, perverted minded acting. “Jason Segel has a filthy sewer of a mind. What other possible conclusion could one reasonably draw from the 31-year-old’s body of work?” “It was Segel in Knocked Up earnestly asking Seth Rogen for his blessing to plow Rogen’s unborn daughter once she reached legal age. It was Segel in the Apatow-esque bromantic comedy I Love You, Man proudly displaying his “jerk-off station” to a new friend. And, most unforgettably, it was Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall—which he co-wrote— shooting a breakup scene totally nude, his flaccid Segelness on display for a full 73 frames. He’s a dude who goes there. It’s easy to tell that the writer of this article thinks that Jason is not fit to direct a movie that is primarily based around children. However after talking about the history and the past of the Muppets, The author believes that it could be a lot worse, and having the Muppets alive is better than them not being around at all. “Henson may have needed some space from the gang, but like us he also wanted the Muppets to live. And if he were alive, he’d have to agree that there are fates far worse than ending up in the hands of a pervert with Apure heart.” I believe that this Article and situation can go along, and help many people realize things of their own lives. For instance; in this article, the author believes that at first Jason Segel would be a terrible director for the Muppets because of his past work and his “filthy sewer” mouth. However it wasn’t until the realization that it would be better to still have the Muppets around than the Muppets being lost and gone forever. For me, this is culturally significant because it


makes me reflect upon my everyday life. For instance thee old phrase; “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” For instance; when I broke my cell phone, I had to buy and use a terrible one, but it was better than not having any phone at all. Some people may agree with or can relate to the fact that sometimes you have to use or deal with an object or person, and at the time it doesn’t seem right and you’re not in favor with it. However sooner or later you’ll realize that it was better than having nothing at all. This is the point that I think Andrew Goldman was trying to make in the article, “Jason Segel, the Unlikely Hero behind the New Muppet Movie.” After reading this article I found a few cultural significances that I could relate to that I wouldn’t have thought about before, such as things that I’ve taken for granted.


“What’s the Difference?”

What’s the Difference?

After looking at my most successful response, it is easy to see the difference between the most successful and the least successful. Throughout my least successful article response I noticed that I had dragged on my thoughts and sentences as well as lost track of my thoughts and Ideas. Compared to my most successful article response my least successful one had many more grammar mistakes as well such as fragments and improper formatting. As well I hadn’t cited my sources the right way nor did I have the article response flowing. I also realized that in my least successful article response I had many common, simple mistakes that I think I had over looked. I would take much time and concentration and overthink what I was writing, rather than in my most successful I took just the right amount of time to get the work done. I think that as time went on over the semester I began to learn the right way to write article responses as well as finding out just what exactly I should have been covering and learning. Compared to my most successful, I believe that it blew my least successful article response out of the water. The reason in which I say this is because in my most successful article response it was much shorter and much tighter. I enjoyed what I read and I felt like I could right about the article in a personal way. Since I could relate to the article I felt as if I could gather what I thought was the main point and idea of the article and write freely. I was more careful on my grammar, and looked out for the use of fragments and improper formatting. . I made the article response short and kept focus on the key information and kept forward with the ideas that


I believed I could relate the article off of. While I was writing this article response, unlike my least successful article, I had tried making statements I knew I wouldn’t have much trouble with grammar. Therefore keeping the response short it stayed on track and was clear, and neat. In my portfolio, you will see my revisions over this article. The overall difference between my least successful and the most successful article is that I enjoyed reading my most successful article and didn’t stress over the assignment to much.


Parenthood Upbringing Lori, Gottlieb. “How to land your Kid in Therapy.” Atlantic Magazine. The Atlantic July/August 2011. Physiologists say that parent’s behavior and childhood raising plays a key role on their children and their later adulthood. This Article starts off with the writer talking about being worried for raising her child, because she wanted to do everything 'right'. She stated early on in the passage that, 'it seemed like a lot could go wrong in the kid raising department'. Now it is the job of psychotherapists to "re-parent' all of their patients hoping that they can provide a better correction to their childhood experience. More and more of these kind of patients were going in and they were nothing like the other textbook patients. They had all seemed depressed and had anxiety problems which the writer couldn’t find an explanation for with her patients saying that they loved their parents and had great relationships with them, or that they were there best friends in the world. Yet somehow all these young patients had felt that they were not as great as their parents told them they were. Most of the patients felt empty and had problems finding there path of career and other relationship problems. Then the question arose, did their parents do too much? Her main patient Rubin had went on her own search for her pursuit of happiness. However we can never be completely happy, we always want to be happier. Which isn’t a problem but as Barry Schwartz said, "Happiness as a goal is a recipe for disaster". This is what the author thinks the problem is, parents are keeping their kids away from unhappiness that can occur in there life therefore as adults they thrive on happiness and praise like they had gotten from their parents in their childhood. In the end we see that parents are taking more consideration into their needs and confusing it with their children’s' needs. The patients thrive for the attention and praise from their boss' or there partners like they had once gotten from their parents. Now that they are older and had moved away and are not getting the same attention they start to believe that they're not as amazing and great

Comment [M1]: The reason in which I had deleted the whole first page of this article response is because, for one it was to lengthy. As well, like ive mentioned before in my portfolio, it had lacked thought and strayed away from the main idea that was in the Article I read. In order to really show what this article was about and make it short and simple, I had no choice but to re-write the first paragraph.


as their parents told them they were, and made them out to be. This is the reason for her patients' depression and the feeling of them being empty. According to Donald Winnicott, 'You don't have to be a perfect mother to raise a well-adjusted kid, you just have to be good enough". It's said that parents these days are doing too much and are not letting their children see what the real world is like and letting them experience more emotions then just happiness. A comparison they used in this article was when we were kids and went to the park and we would fall or get hurt before we could even react to what happened, our parents swept us up and told us that everything is okay, not letting us see and experience other emotions. Now they're stuck looking for the attention and approval and comfort they once got as children. As said before it's always better to be a good enough parent than a perfect parent. “Our main job as psychotherapists, in fact, was to “re-parent” our patients, to provide a “corrective emotional experience” in which they would unconsciously transfer their early feelings of injury onto us, so we could offer a different response, a more attuned and empathic one than they got in childhood.” It’s easy to tell that the author of this article believes that kids who are picked on and made fun of when they are younger, later grow up and feel as if they need to be re-parented. Not only can kids end up like this from being picked on, they can also end up this way from the way that their parents raise them as children. The author talked about how many parents give their kids too much attention and shelter them away from the real world. Later in life when the kids grow up and start their own life, they feel as if something in their life is missing. The feelings that these children were sheltered away from as kids they later experience in their adulthood and are unaware on how to act. I know that I could relate to some of these ideas, because as a kid I too was sheltered and made fun of while I was growing up.

Many other scenarios such as these can be linked to these types of patterns and or situations. The main purpose of this article is to show that the way parents raise their children has a huge effect on

Comment [M2]: The reason that I started this new paragraph with a quote is because later on in this class I learned that it is the best way to start a paragraph. It gives evidence from the actual article itself, and gives people a better understanding of what the author was trying to get across.


their kids future. It also proves that kids who had been made fun of while growing up were affected from the bullying.. If parentsyou keep theiryour kids sheltered away from the real worldand their other emotions than just happiness like in the paragraph above, theyworld, they risk allowingmay their children to grow up and feel thatas if a part of their life is empty. or Sheltering kids can also lead

Comment [M3]: Many of these sentences in this paragraph were to wordy, and didn’t clearly get the idea and point of view across. So for the most part I had broken the sentences down and made them more simple to understand and more to the point.

children to feeling as if thatthey are underappreciated in the world once they are not gettingdo not receive the attention and praise they once had from their parents at an early age. This can happen in many ways than just the one that the writer told. For instance one connection would be school at a young age. Some parents when their kids are younger don’t push them to study and try their hardest with it all. Therefore when it comes time for the kids to get a test or a report card and they see they have low or failing grades their parents will say that it's okay and that they can always do better the next time. When this happens, kids think that it’s okay to just slide by life or think that it's okay, because their parents said so. Then when the kids get older and grow up and get into the real world they won't know how to deal with it and they'll eventually quit or just stop trying. As well as being sheltered by parents, being picked on at school can lead to a grown child seeking a therapist. This article hits very close to home because I had been made fun of at a very young age. Later in life I wondered what it was about me that made me get treated so Therebad. There is a thin lineline between an being too involved in your child's life and then not being that involved at all. This wasis the overall purpose of this passage.

Comment [M4]: Many of these words and sentences that I have crossed out didn’t make much sense, and didn’t flow. As well some of them were fragments and Vague. The only way to make this article sound more intelligent and flow better was to re-word some of the words and sentences.

How parents actre and treat their children isplays a key role on their child’s lifelife and when they become older. In many ways then others, they may feel like part of their childhood was neglected or that parts were missing;missing. This ultimately givesing them that empty feeling and questioning later aton at an early age. Being a parent is a huge responsibility responsibilityin a child's life. However, the way you parent can and is a crucial part of how your child grows up and their behavioral patterns and emotions in the future.

Comment [M5]:


Parenthood Upbringing Lori, Gottlieb. “How to land your Kid in Therapy.” Atlantic Magazine. The Atlantic July/August 2011. “Our main job as psychotherapists, in fact, was to “re-parent” our patients, to provide a “corrective emotional experience” in which they would unconsciously transfer their early feelings of injury onto us, so we could offer a different response, a more attuned and empathic one than they got in childhood.” It’s easy to tell that the author of this article believes that kids who are picked on and made fun of when they are younger, later grow up and feel as if they need to be re-parented. Not only can kids end up like this from being picked on, they can also end up this way from the way that their parents raise them as children. The author talked about how many parents give their kids too much attention and shelter them away from the real world. Later in life when the kids grow up and start their own life, they feel as if something in their life is missing. The feelings that these children were sheltered away from as kids they later experience in their adulthood and are unaware on how to act. I know that I could relate to some of these ideas, because as a kid I too was sheltered and made fun of while I was growing up. The main purpose of this article is to show that the way parents raise their children has a huge effect on their kids future. It also proves that kids who had been made fun of while growing up were affected from the bullying. If parents keep their kids sheltered away from the real world, they risk allowing their children to grow up and feel as if a part of their life is empty. Sheltering kids can also lead children to feeling as if they are underappreciated in the world once they do not receive the attention and praise they once had from their parents at an early age. As well as being sheltered by parents, being picked on at school can lead to a grown child seeking a therapist. This article hits very close to home because I had been made fun of at a very young age. Later in life I wondered what it was about


me that made me get treated so bad. There is a thin line between being too involved in your child's life and then not being t involved at all. This was the overall purpose of this passage. How parents act and treat their children plays a key role on their child’s life when they become older. In many ways then others, they may feel like part of their childhood was neglected or that parts were missing. This ultimately gives them that empty feeling and questioning later on at an early age. Being a parent is a huge responsibility. However, the way you parent can and is a crucial part of how your child grows up and their behavioral patterns and emotions in the future.


Be thankful for what you have Goldman, Andrew. "Jason Segel, the Unlikely HeroBehind the New Muppet Movie." Wired Magazine, Novemeber 1, 2011. According to Andrew Goldman, Jason Segel would be a terrible candidate for the new Muppets movie.; DDue to his dirty, perverted minded acting, he should not be working in a children’s film. “Jason Segel has a filthy sewer of a mind. What other possible conclusion could one reasonably draw from the 31-year-old’s body of work?. . .” “It was Segel in Knocked Up

Formatted: Underline

earnestly asking Seth Rogen for his blessing to plow Rogen’s unborn daughter once she reached legal age. It was Segel in the Apatow-esque bromantic comedy I Love You, Man proudly

Formatted: Underline

displaying his “jerk-off station” to a new friend. And, most unforgettably, it was Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall—which he co-wrote—shooting a breakup scene totally nude, his

Formatted: Underline Formatted: Underline

flaccid Segelness on display for a full 73 frames. He’s a dude who goes there.” It i’s easy to tell that the writer of this article thinks that Jason Segal is not fit to direct a movie that is primarily based around children. However, after talking about the history and the past of the Muppets, tThe author believes that it could be a lot worse,. and hUltimately, one might say that having the Muppets alive is better than them not being around at all. “Henson may have needed some space from the gang, but like us he also wanted the Muppets to live. And if he were alive, he’d have to agree that there are fates far worse than ending up in the hands of a pervert with Apure heart.” I believe that this Aarticle and situation can go along, and help many people realize things inof their own lives. For instance,; in this article, the author originally believes that at first Jason Segel would be a terrible director for the Muppets because of his past work and his “filthy sewer” mouth. However, it wassn’ t untilnot until the realization that it would be better to still

Comment [M1]: Throughout some of the first article I had to change spelling as well as the capitalization of some words. As well I had substituted some words for others to make the sentences flow better and make my work sound more professional


have the Muppets around than have the Muppets being lost and gone forever hit him that he realized Segal may not be the worst possible choice. For me, this is culturally significant because it makes me reflect upon my everyday life. For instance, thee old phrase; “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” For instance;, when I broke my cell phone, I had to buy and use a terrible

Comment [M2]: The reason that I had added a few words, and took some letters off of words was to make the body flow better. As well I had taken out a few sentences and replaced them with new ones to give the paragraph better meaning, and to tell more informative information

one., butOn the contrary, it was better to have a poor phone than to not havehaving any phone at all. Some people may agree with or can relate to the fact that sometimes you have to use or deal with an object or person, and at the time it doesn’t seem right and that you a’re not in favor with it. However, sooner or later, you will’ll realize that it was better than having nothing at all. This is the point that I think Andrew Goldman was trying to make in the article, “Jason Segel, the

Comment [M3]: Some of my grammar was wrong in this paragraph as well, For instance I kept putting apostrophes at the end of words that didn’t need any, and would write I’ve rather than I have.

Unlikely Hero behind the New Muppet Movie.” After reading this article I found a few cultural significances that I could relate, which to that I would notdn’t have thought about before this article, such as things that I haveI’ve taken for granted. All in all, this is one of the best articles I have read in a long time.

Comment [M4]: I added a last sentence to the end of my second paragraph because I felt as if it tied in all of the information. It told how I had felt about the article, and brought out the reason why I felt I did so good on this reading response


Be thankful for what you have Goldman, Andrew. "Jason Segel, the Unlikely HeroBehind the New Muppet Movie." Wired Magazine, Novemeber 1, 2011. According to Andrew Goldman, Jason Segel would be a terrible candidate for the new Muppets movie.Due to his dirty, perverted minded acting, he should not be working in a children’s film. “Jason Segel has a filthy sewer of a mind. What other possible conclusion could one reasonably draw from the 31-year-old’s body of work?. . .It was Segel in Knocked Up earnestly asking Seth Rogen for his blessing to plow Rogen’s unborn daughter once she reached legal age. It was Segel in the Apatow-esque bromantic comedy I Love You, Man proudly displaying his “jerk-off station” to a new friend. And, most unforgettably, it was Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall—which he co-wrote—shooting a breakup scene totally nude, his flaccid Segelness on display for a full 73 frames. He’s a dude who goes there.” It is easy to tell that the writer of this article thinks that Jason Segal is not fit to direct a movie that is primarily based around children. However, after talking about the history and the past of the Muppets, the author believes that it could be a lot worse.Ultimately, one might say that having the Muppets alive is better than them not being around at all. “Henson may have needed some space from the gang, but like us he also wanted the Muppets to live. And if he were alive, he’d have to agree that there are fates far worse than ending up in the hands of a pervert with Apure heart.” I believe that this article and situation can go along and help many people realize things in their own lives. For instance, in this article, the author originally believes that Jason Segel would be a terrible director for the Muppets because of his past work and his “filthy sewer” mouth. However, it was not until the realization that it would be better to still have the Muppets


around than have the Muppets be lost and gone forever hit him that he realized Segal may not be the worst possible choice. For me, this is culturally significant because it makes me reflect upon my everyday life. For instance, the old phrase; “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” For instance, when I broke my cell phone, I had to buy and use a terrible one. On the contrary, it was better to have a poor phone than to not have any phone at all. Some people may agree with or can relate to the fact that sometimes you have to use or deal with an object or person that you are not in favor with it. However, sooner or later, you willl realize that it was better than having nothing at all. This is the point that I think Andrew Goldman was trying to make in the article, “Jason Segel, the Unlikely Hero behind the New Muppet Movie.” After reading this article I found a few cultural significance that I could relate, which I would nott have thought about before this article, such as things that I have taken for granted. All in all, this is one of the best articles I have read in a long time.


Unlikely Hero; Most likely underdog

“Jason Segel has a filthy sewer of a mind. What other possible conclusion could one reasonably draw from the31-year-old’s body of work? He’s a dude who goes there. So when it wasannouncedwas announced that the actor had been anointed to breathe life into the moribundMuppetmoribund Muppet movie franchise as star and screenwriter, gasps from the peanut gallerywasgallery was understandable.” We all have times in our lives where we want to set out to do something or make a

Comment [M1]: Many of the problems that were wrong on this first page were simple errors such as spacing issues.

change. However, from parts of our past, some peopledon’tpeople do not believe that we could possibly be capable of doing everything we put our minds toso. I can tell you forafor a fact that when I was younger, I told everybody I was going to try my best inacademicsin academics and life. Everybody looked at me as if itlike I was a joke. However, fromcertainfrom certain parts of my past, it could have been easy to doubt me and think that Icouldn’tI could not have been capable of something great. Since I was little,growinglittle, growing up in middle school, I was always more of a quitter. No matter what it was, I would go and switch from sport to sport, or from hobby to hobby. I wouldstartwould start to play football, then go to track, and from there I would’d switchgo to wrestlingandwrestling and from wrestling to karate. However, once I found out that I was good at one,e I’dquitI would quit it and move on to another. I was great at pretty much every sport I attempted.most of these as well. InwrestlingIn wrestling, I only lost one match., In football, I made first string long snapper in my first year. andinAnd then when I tried out for track, I easily became was a first string runner for the 800 yard run. This applied to mostpartsmost parts of my childhood, evenincluding music. In middle school, I would’d play the clarinet,clarinet. andI In just a matter of months, I not only mastered clarinet, but I could listen to a piece of music and play itmusic just from hearing itthat. However, I did n’t keepnot keep up withthatwith that either, as and I switched to saxophone where I did the same

Comment [M2]: Around the second paragraph I had many spelling errors as well as a view vague, and fragments. I also re-wrote a few statements to make the article sound more intelligent and flow better


thing;saxophone. I mastered the guitar just as quickly as I did clarinet and saxophone. well.Throughout Throughout most of my youth, I wasted my talent and as an old phrase said, “ThesaddestThe saddest thing in life is wasted talent.” In the end, I guess that proving to myself Imyself I couldhavecould have potential in something was all I needed to know. As well as being a quitter,r I was also a bit of a liar and a trouble-maker.Inmaker. In middle school, I hung out with the wrong crowd and made the worst types offriendsof friends that somebody could make. However, when one isyou’re young you don’t carefree, allyouall you want is to know people and to be popular. I was very easily influenced, so IdidI did what all the other trouble-makers would do. I would cheat and lie and getmyselfget myself into even more and more trouble. By getting myself into trouble, not only did I hurt myself in the long run, but I lost the trust and respect of my motherandmother and father. Once I would gain a little trust back, I would go right ahead andloseand lose it again. While in eighth grade, I wanted a new bikemorebike more than anything. My father promised me that if I got a ‘B’ average for a semester that hewouldhe would buy me one. I tried my hardest and yet still didn’t make it. I came closewithclose with all B’s and one C. I was so upset though that I forged my grade to a B soI could get my bike. When I went home my parents new right off the bat that IhadI had been lying and gave me several times to admit the fact that I forged it, ortheyor they would call my teachers and principal. I thought they wouldn’t turn me insincein since I was their son and they would just give me the bike. They called myteachersmy teachers, but when they called back, I pretended to be my father and told themtothem to stop calling because they knew what had happened. The next day when I wenttowent to school and I was called into a room during lunch, when I walked in I saw mymothermy mother there sitting with all of my teachers with a look of disappointment. IwasI was caught and had a long talk with both my teachers and my mother. When having my father hear about it.


I knew I lost theirtrusttheir trust and they thought I couldn’t be capable of doing better. It was time formefor me to change my ways. I told myself and my parents that I promised to do better in high schoolandschool and try to stick with a few of the hobbies I had given up on, and they brusheditbrushed it off and hadn’t believed me. They didn’t know how important it was to me thatIthat I could show them I wanted to be different and that I could really succeed eventhougheven though from my past, it may have seemed like I wasn’t cut out for it. I begantobegan to study more, and try to stay after class to get even more help. I wanted tomeetto meet better friends and get back into the hobbies I had dropped before to keepmekeep me away from my old ways. When the first progress reports came out I had madeallmade all B’s and I couldn’t have been happier. It was a big improvement andaccomplishmentand accomplishment to me and I didn’t want to stop there. I kept trying harder andharderand harder in class, and went for more sports and learned more of my hobbies. The better I started to do and the more improvement I made, I could see myselfbuildingmyself building a better relationship with my parents. It seemed as if I had pulled atotala total 180 over the year, yet I couldn’t have been happier. Thinking back on all of this, I am glad that IwentI went through both the good and the bad times of my schooling andextracurricularand extracurricular activities. I’m happy because of the fact that I got to learnfromlearn from the best of both worlds. I saw the difference in people thinking I wasn’tcapablewasn’t capable of doing anything to realizing that maybe all I needed was a littlepushlittle push, and to hit rock bottom to see what I needed to do. It was defiantly nicetonice to know that my parents and teachers were happy from my transition, and I thinkthatthink that one of the biggest reasons that helped me out and motivated me was beinganbeing an underdog. When you’re an underdog everybody expects the least out of you andthinksand thinks that you’re not capable of doing something great, however once you doeveryonedo everyone looks at you in a totally different way.

Comment [M3]: As well as the first few paragraphs I had a few problems with the spacing, and was as a few spelling errors. I also put in a few new words to make the context flow better


When being an underdog like they hadsaidhad said in the article, nobody believes that you could possibly do somethinggreatsomething great. For Jason Segel and me it was both because of our past experiences andourand our old ways of work. I did have a passion for school though and I did wantpeoplewant people to know I could do better and be better than I was. Another great thingaboutthing about being an underdog is that you have nothing to lose when you do try. IfyouIf you fail, you could say you tried and everybody could go on being right aboutwhatabout what they had thought, and you could go back to how you use to be. However ifyouif you do succeed and do well, not only do you show yourself that you did good buteveryonebut everyone else as well has a totally different take upon you. I knew that peoplewouldpeople would doubt me from my past experiences and judge me based off how I use to be,butbe, but once I put the effort and passion into my school work I showed everybodythateverybody that I could be an Unlikely Hero.

Works Cited

Goldman, Andrew. “Jason Segel, the Unlikely Hero Behind theNew Muppet Movie.� Wired Magazine. November1, 2011


Unlikely Hero; Most likely underdog

“Jason Segel has a filthy sewer of a mind. What other possible conclusion could one reasonably draw from the31-year-old’s body of work? He’s a dude who goes there. So when it was announced that the actor had been anointed to breathe life into the moribund Muppet movie franchise as star and screenwriter, gasps from the peanut gallery was understandable.” We all have times in our lives where we want to set out to do something or make a change. However, from parts of our past, some people do not believe that we could possibly be capable of doing everything we put our minds to. I can tell you for a fact that when I was younger, I told everybody I was going to try my best in academics and life. Everybody looked at me as if it was a joke. However, from certain parts of my past, it could have been easy to doubt me and think that I could not have been capable of something great. Since I was little, growing up in middle school, I was always more of a quitter. No matter what it was, I would go and switch from sport to sport, or from hobby to hobby. I would start to play football, then go to track, and from there I would switch to wrestling and from wrestling to karate. However, once I found out that I was good at one, I would quit and move on to another. I was great at pretty much every sport I attempted. In wrestling, I only lost one match. In football, I made first string long snapper in my first year. And then when I tried out for track, I easily became first string runner for the 800 yard run. This applied to most parts of my childhood, including music. In middle school, I would play the clarinet. In just a matter of months, I not only mastered clarinet, but I could listen to a piece of music and play it just from hearing it. However, I did not keep up with that either, as I switched to saxophone. I mastered the guitar just as quickly as I did clarinet and saxophone. Throughout most of my youth, I wasted my talent and as an old phrase said, “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.” In the end, I guess that proving to myself I could have potential in something was all I needed to know.


As well as being a quitter, I was also a bit of a liar and a trouble-maker. In middle school, I hung out with the wrong crowd and made the worst types of friends that somebody could make. However, when one is young carefree, all you want is to know people and to be popular. I was very easily influenced, so I did what all the other trouble-makers would do. I would cheat and lie and get myself into even more trouble. By getting myself into trouble, not only did I hurt myself in the long run, but I lost the trust and respect of my mother and father. Once I would gain a little trust back, I would go right ahead and lose it again. While in eighth grade, I wanted a new bike more than anything. My father promised me that if I got a ‘B’ average for a semester that he would buy me one. I tried my hardest and yet still didn’t make it. I came close with all B’s and one C. I was so upset though that I forged my grade to a B soI could get my bike. When I went home my parents new right off the bat that I had been lying and gave me several times to admit the fact that I forged it, or they would call my teachers and principal. I thought they wouldn’t turn me in since I was their son and they would just give me the bike. They called my teachers, but when they called back, I pretended to be my father and told them to stop calling because they knew what had happened. The next day when I went to school and I was called into a room during lunch, when I walked in I saw my mother there sitting with all of my teachers with a look of disappointment. I was caught and had a long talk with both my teachers and my mother. I knew I lost their trust and they thought I couldn’t be capable of doing better. It was time for me to change my ways. I told myself and my parents that I promised to do better in high school and try to stick with a few of the hobbies I had given up on, and they brushed it off and hadn’t believed me. They didn’t know how important it was to me that I could show them I wanted to be different and that I could really succeed even though from my past, it may have seemed like I wasn’t cut out for it. I began to study more, and try to stay after class to get even more help. I wanted to meet better friends and get back


into the hobbies I had dropped before to keep me away from my old ways. When the first progress reports came out I had made all B’s and I couldn’t have been happier. It was a big improvement and accomplishment to me and I didn’t want to stop there. I kept trying harder and harder in class, and went for more sports and learned more of my hobbies. The better I started to do and the more improvement I made, I could see myself building a better relationship with my parents. It seemed as if I had pulled a total 180 over the year, yet I couldn’t have been happier. Thinking back on all of this, I am glad that I went through both the good and the bad times of my schooling and extracurricular activities. I’m happy because of the fact that I got to learn from the best of both worlds. I saw the difference in people thinking I wasn’t capable of doing anything to realizing that maybe all I needed was a little push, and to hit rock bottom to see what I needed to do. It was defiantly nice to know that my parents and teachers were happy from my transition, and I think that one of the biggest reasons that helped me out and motivated me was being an underdog. When you’re an underdog everybody expects the least out of you and thinks that you’re not capable of doing something great, however once you do everyone looks at you in a totally different way. When being an underdog like they had said in the article, nobody believes that you could possibly do something great. For Jason Segel and me it was both because of our past experiences and our old ways of work. I did have a passion for school though and I did want people to know I could do better and be better than I was. Another great thing about being an underdog is that you have nothing to lose when you do try. If you fail, you could say you tried and everybody could go on being right about what they had thought, and you could go back to how you use to be. However if you do succeed and do well, not only do you show yourself that you did good but everyone else as well has a totally different take upon you. I knew that people would doubt me from my past experiences and judge me based off


how I use to be, but once I put the effort and passion into my school work I showed everybody that I could be an Unlikely Hero.

Works Cited

Goldman, Andrew. “Jason Segel, the Unlikely Hero Behind theNew Muppet Movie.� Wired Magazine. November1, 2011


My journey to success