__MAIN_TEXT__

Page 1


4. 6. 8.

Edito

Contr

Colla Accel How mento

By Penny

16.

Q&A heart

with Rach

Breakfast

22.

Top 5 to use busin

26.

Build with i heart

with the f

Coaching

Interview


CONTENTS

or’s Letter

ributors

aborate to lerate: to know if oring is for you

y Ward

A: Finding your t’s destiny

hel Gadiel of Dreams for

t

5 Tips: How e video in your ness

ding a business intuition and t

founder of the Beautiful You

g Academy Julie Parker -

w by Fi Mims

36.

An Intentional Year: How to get clear on what you want and stick with it. By Robyn Amott

42.

The Mind: A Beautiful Servant, A Dangerous Master By Cassandra Goodman

48

Self-Love is Not for Sale: Caring for yourself in modern times By Michelle Marie McGrath

54.

Leading a Heart-Centred Business: Balancing the head with the heart By Victoria Sorbera

60.

Q&A: Finding your happiness With Katherine Phifer


EDITOR’S LETTER

W

here the heck did

January go? Mine was a blur of eating, drinking, summertime fun with the family, and trying to keep my business ticking along without living in my laptop and inbox as much as possible – not an easy task! If only summer went as slowly as winter seems to… wouldn’t that be the best! As much as we love taking holidays, I think for most business owners they can feel like both a blessing and a curse. It’s amazing to have the time off and to have built our business to the point where we can, because down time is SO needed. But the reality is, when we don’t work, we don’t get paid. One of the downsides of running our own show. If we don’t put strategies in place to ensure there’s work to come back to, it can be a really slow start to the year. A few years ago, I learnt that lesson the hard way. After a super busy (and exhausting) 12 months, come Christmas I had burned myself out to the point that I couldn’t even bear to answer the phone or open my inbox. It took me until the end of January to recover. That was the worst

4

shineonlinemagazine


start to my year ever. It was the toughest six months I’ve ever had in my business, and I had to crawl my way back financially to make up for the revenue I had lost from my slow start. To say “I just got by” that year is an understatement! In hindsight, I learnt two great business lessons that year: the importance of planning ahead and the importance of self-care. One of the things that really inspires me about this edition of Shine is the strength of the women who have contributed and the balance they’ve found between work, passion and downtime.

of one, to becoming a global empire with an amazing team and community around her. Julie has been one of my biggest inspirations for a number of years, and I know after reading her interview she will

In hindsight, I learnt two great business lessons that year: the importance of planning ahead and the importance of self-care.

We all know we should do it, but when we’re doing the grunt work and delivering for our clients it can be really hard to prioritise our own work, to stop what we’re doing and plan for three to six months ahead. But when you do, you will be amazed at how much easier you make it on yourself, and you also give your business the best chance to keep growing without strain and burn out. Without YOU there is no business. Is that a model you want for the next 3-5 years? In my interview with Julie Parker, founder of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy, she talks openly about her journey of business growth - the courage and steps it took for her to go from being a business

be one of yours too.

I am excited and humbled by all of the stories the women have shared in this issue. Their experience, winning strategies and – above all else – messages of self-love and balance, offer a meaningful perspective and a positive start to the new year. Whether you are just getting back on board after a break, or already well into your new year, I wish you all the best for an amazing 2018!

Fi Mims | Photographer + Editor

shineonlinemagazine

5


CONTRIBUTORS Penny Ward Penny Ward is a coach, mentor and consultant. Her expertise lies in integrating principles of self- leadership with deep mind and body awareness to enable women to transform and realise their potential. Through her workshops, one-to-one coaching or mentoring and e-courses, Penny empowers women through a journey of deep change and conscious development of self-awareness, self-efficacy and self-courage: the foundations for greater direction, motivation and professional and personal performance.

Cassandra Goodman Cassandra Goodman is a senior executive who believes in the radical humanisation of workplaces by designing work practices with the intent to unleash human potential. She has held leadership roles with General Electric, Origin Energy and Bupa, and currently works at Australian Unity leading a team based on the belief that when you take care of employees they take care of customers. Cassandra’s purpose is to lead a balanced and fulfilled life, and to learn from a likeminded tribe of zesty generous people who are passionate about human flourishing.

Robyn Amott Robyn Amott is an expert organiser, de-clutter specialist and founder of Bless this Mess Organising. She is also mum to two adorable girls. Blessed with a natural flair for organising and attention to detail, Robyn’s aim is to empower her clients and remove the overwhelm through teaching the basic yet valuable concepts, skills and systems needed to reclaim and maintain the spaces in their home, office or small business.

Michelle Marie McGrath Michelle Marie McGrath is a self-love mentor, intuitive womb guide, writer, aromatherapist and creator of Sacred Self alchemical oils, mists and self-love cards. Her mission is to assist women in reconnecting to their own sacred self: to live a life based on self-love, truth and freedom. She is also the host of popular podcast Unclassified Woman which predominantly explores the lives of women who are childfree or childless, birthing alternative lives of purpose and meaning.

6

shineonlinemagazine


Victoria Sorbera Victoria Sorbera is a mum to two girls, Arbonne Independent Consultant and Special Projects Manager at Melbourne City Council. Since starting her Arbonne business 4 years ago, Victoria has become a personal development junkie, currently reading You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero and H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick. She loves connecting with people and is passionate about coaching and mentoring others to lead their best lives.

Julie Parker Julie Parker is the Founder of The Beautiful You Coaching Academy where she passionately trains and supports heart-centred people to bring their talents into the world as life coaches. As a published author and in-demand speaker, Julie has inspired thousands of people on stages all over the world. Julie is also a modern day Priestess and the host of  The Priestess Podcast.  She is deeply committed to being a living embodiment of the Goddess through supporting women on their own spiritual journeys.

Katherine Phifer Katherine Phifer is a mindset, success and happiness coach for women, mothers and pre-teen/teenage girls. Marrying a twelve year clinical acute crisis therapy career with coaching qualifications, Katherine helps her clients to lead, parent, connect and live in an inspired way.

Rachel Gadiel Rachel Gadiel is a coach, writer, speaker and the founder of Dreams for Breakfast - a global online community empowering trailblazing women to reach their potential, align with their purpose and design a life beyond their wildest dreams. Through her online programs, mentoring, blog and podcast, she helps women cut through the B.S. that has been holding them back, so they can be their most confident, badass self. shineonlinemagazine

7


8

shineonlinemagazine


o t e t a r o Collab e t a r e l Acce HOW TO KNOW IF MENTORING IS FOR YOU

W

By Penny Ward

hen I look around, I see so many incredibly dynamic and talented

women. Aspiring entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, leaders, managers: all driving economic growth, transformation and disruption across a range of industries and domains. It doesn’t surprise me that recent workforce and industry data has revealed more women than ever are starting a business, for a variety of professional, social and economic reasons. We are driving a revolution. Women are researching, designing, developing, innovating, launching and scaling

their enterprises with passion and determination. And many are achieving it all on a shoestring, or for some, even halfa-shoestring budget! Thinking about this, I canvassed the views within my networks and peers. I wanted to learn who they turned to for support and guidance during challenging times; when they need a sounding-board or an alternate perspective. I was alarmed to discover just how many women are going it alone. Very few women have a mentor. In fact, many have never even considered it or they think it is too out of reach or reserved for the top talent of large organisations. So here we are. The future for female entrepreneurs in Australia is at flashpoint.

shineonlinemagazine

9


There has never been a more exciting time! We have so much opportunity and with the right support, women can accelerate their potential to achieve at a whole other level. “We rise by lifting others.” Over the years, I’ve worked with coaches and had success both professionally and personally. However, when I started to connect with mentors, that was when I started to experience really significant outcomes. I achieved noticeable improvements in my professional endeavours and personal performance, and enjoyed greater satisfaction overall.

Well, let’s explore some of the most common perceptions that seem to be preventing women from adding mentoring to their toolkit for success. You will discover how mentoring can accelerate your potential and achievements exponentially!

MYTH 1 – MENTORS AND COACHES ARE THE SAME, RIGHT?

Through mentoring, I have been able to access a rich well of incredible wisdom and learn from some of the most talented and courageous women I’ve ever met.

Through mentoring, I have been able to access a rich well of incredible wisdom and learn from some of the most talented and courageous women I’ve ever met. The tacit knowledge and golden nuggets of insight that underpin success help me to prevents issues, or worse.…failures. And mentoring became my own little secret for success. It wasn’t long before it was a standard part of my professional and personal development toolkit. So, do want to feel supported and inspired?

Have you always wanted to discover mentoring but there are some myths and perceptions about mentoring that is stopping you?

10

shineonlinemagazine

I am often asked this question! It is important to differentiate between mentoring and coaching and the benefits of both to entrepreneurs and business owners.

A mentor is someone who generally has deep experience in your specific industry and provides you with access to their wisdom, skills and knowledge, which enables you to apply this thinking to your own real-time challenges or goals. Mentoring is relationship-oriented. It is about the direction of your travel, ideas and plans. A great mentor is willing to provide you with the rarest jewels of insight from their own journey. They can impart years of experience - primarily aimed at enabling you to navigate your journey of development. Most mentors are trained in mentoring conversations and use a process of enquiry to support learning and development to maximise your potential.


MYTH 2 MENTORING IS RESERVED FOR THE CORPORATE ‘C’ SUITE, SENIOR EXECUTIVES AND TOP TALENT Let me bust this myth straight up. You ARE the top talent. YOU are the CEO of YOU and your own life. Regardless of the scale or focus of your efforts, you are the one designing, launching, growing, strategizing, building and succeeding. The right mentor can supercharge your efforts, support you and enable you to reach your potential quicker than going it alone.

A coach works on skills and performance to help define your destination and to make sure you get there. While you are in charge of the map, your coach empowers and motivates you to move from point A to point B. Your coach may or may not have travelled that road before, but they will know how to wire your brain for high performance. A great coach has qualifications in performance and business coaching, and often their approach is underpinned by knowledge or qualifications in human behaviours, individual change and performance.

MYTH 3 – HIRING A MENTOR IS TOO EXPENSIVE OR IT IS NOT A BUDGET PRIORITY RIGHT NOW Mentoring can be a service that you pay for, or it can be free. It depends on the type of support, structure, formality and tempo you are seeking. I have worked with independent mentors who charge a fee (approximately $400 per hour), I have participated in formal and structured mentoring programs involving a participation fee (around $300 for six months of mentoring), and I have also worked with volunteer mentors.

shineonlinemagazine

11


Each mentoring relationship has brought different results depending on my area of focus and stage of growth. Receiving ‘free help’ does not mean that volunteer mentors are any less valuable. I have developed strong and reliable mentoring relationships with incredible women who offer a treasure trove of insight, irrespective of price.

MYTH 4: I LIKE THE IDEA OF A MENTORING, BUT I FEEL LIKE I AM IMPOSING ON SOMEONE ELSE’S TIME Mentors are willing and knowing participants in your mentoring relationship. And they are thrilled when you succeed because they’ve been part of your journey. Imagine having someone who is willing to be there to support YOU when you need them… and often on short notice. Mentors sign up to mentor because they want to mentor. They show up for every conversation because they want to help YOU. As a talented entrepreneur, business owner or career professional, you are innovating, iterating and co-creating. You are flat out learning, reflecting, applying insight, adjusting, testing and implementing at a pace and scale that is so big, it’s hard to stay on top of it all. Imagine having an experienced mentor who has been there and done it all who can be your guideon-the-side or sage-

12

shineonlinemagazine


on-the-stage. Someone who can provide you with situational and on-demand insight and perspective you can immediately apply to your business challenges or complex problems.

have overlooked – I call them the ‘known unknowns’ – known to others but not to you. Can you imagine having that safety net? It is not until we realise we needed it that we understand its full value.

Well, you can. I have experienced exactly that. My mentors have always been there for me and provided the confidence boost when needed. They have provided their insight and perspective when I have been confronted by challenging situations, faced with dilemmas or working through complex decisions. The reassurance knowing that someone has my back can reduce stress and pressure which means I can stay focused and progress with confidence and surety.

Many successful Australian entrepreneurs, business owners and career professionals have emerged from very modest beginnings armed simply with an idea and fiery passion for success. Most have attributed mentoring as part of their success as they navigated their journey over many years – and for some, decades. When I look back on my journey, I wish I had discovered the power of mentoring earlier. These days, I am never without at least one formal or informal mentor.

I am eternally grateful for their time, and they let me know it is not an imposition.

Develop your mentoring mindset

MYTH 5 – I DON’T NEED A MENTOR, I’M WONDER WOMAN! Mentoring is for everyone. Regardless of how amazing you are, you never stop learning and growing! A mentor provides you with targeted development at any stage of your journey, which enables you to rapidly learn and apply insights instantly to real problems and challenges, no matter how small or large. Importantly, a mentor can highlight areas you may

Mentoring is an incredibly powerful learning alliance between two people. It’s a basis for transferring knowledge, skills and deeper levels of understanding; for cultivating industry networks; developing and enhancing individual pathways and careers; and creating opportunities to access guidance and support from an experienced individual in your industry. The brilliance of mentoring is, regardless of your background and level of expertise, mentoring is suited to anyone who aspires to develop, grow or change in any capacity, any industry and in any context.

Penny Ward Penny Ward is a coach, mentor and consultant. Her expertise lies in integrating principles of self- leadership with deep mind and body awareness to enable women to transform and realise their potential. Through her workshops, one-to-one coaching or mentoring and e-courses, Penny empowers women through a journey of deep change and conscious development of self-awareness, self-efficacy and self-courage: the foundations for greater direction, motivation and professional and personal performance. shineonlinemagazine

13


As a leader by name or a leader by nature decode simple secrets to accelerate your potential and success

working with leaders by name and leaders by nature to transform and realise people potential contact me! penny@bypennyward.com

coaching II mentoring II workshops II time-outs II retreats II discovery


There is no passion to be found in playing small -

in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. Nelson Mandela

shineonlinemagazine

15


Q&A 16

shineonlinemagazine


FINDING YOUR HEART’S DESTINY

l e i d a G l e h c a R with of Dreams for Breakfast

Tell us about your business; who are your clients and why do they choose you?

I’m the founder of Dreams for Breakfast - a global online community empowering trailblazing women to reach their highest potential, align with their purpose and create life beyond their wildest dreams. Through my online programs, one on one mentoring, blog and podcast, I create the tools to support people getting started on this journey and serve up the inspiration and strategies they need to reach their biggest goals. My clients are women who know in their heart they are destined for more, but have a habit of getting in their own way. I help them to cut through their B.S excuses, ditch the overwhelm, and bust through the procrastination and self-doubt that’s been holding them back so they can be their most confident, badass self. I help them do the things they’ve always wanted to do, and do it all on PURPOSE. What inspired you to start your business? I always knew I wanted to have my own business, I just wasn’t clear on what that path looked like. It took me a while to get to where I am today and it definitely

wasn’t a linear journey! In 2009, I started a blog as a creative outlet while I worked in a full time job where I felt overwhelmingly frustrated and creatively unfulfilled. I knew I wasn’t cut out for climbing the corporate ladder but I had no idea what I wanted to do. Through blogging, I discovered my love of writing and creating and things evolved from there. It was then through my personal experience of designing a life in alignment with my biggest strengths and what I truly loved doing (and not following a traditional career path) that I realized just how challenging it is and how easy it is to give up on your dream. Dreams for Breakfast is really a culmination of this journey. It’s my purpose to empower others to find out what they’re truly capable of and design a life that lights them up from the inside out. What was the biggest challenge in setting up your business? I didn’t struggle with setting up any of the functional and technical parts of my business, like setting up a website. The biggest challenge was shifting my mindset from being an employee to a CEO and learning to successfully sell my services.

shineonlinemagazine

17


18

shineonlinemagazine


This is still something I actively work on as it doesn’t come naturally to me! What have you learnt about yourself through the process of building your business? I’ve learned how incredibly determined I am. I’ve definitely had my fair share of *failures*on my business journey and have at times (ok, many times!) wanted to give up and questioned if it was worth it. But each time after I get back up, I’m stronger, more resilient and determined as ever to keep going. What do you love most about your work? I’m fuelled with so much purpose to impact as many lives as possible, helping women to break free from their own limitations and empowering them to design lives they are truly excited to be living.

really, you need to get good at selling yourself. So, I just try and shift my perspective on this and challenge myself to keep doing things that push me out of my comfort zone. Each time I do, I build more confidence along the way - I’m definitely a work in progress! What do you think is one trait people must have to be a successful entrepreneur? Resilience is mandatory. Running your own business is the biggest journey of self-discovery and it exposes all of your flaws. Each time you fall down, you have to keep on getting back up again.

To be successful, you have to show up for yourself - like really commit to it.

The icing on the cake is that I get to create every day and do the things I’m naturally good at. And also, being an introvert, it’s absolute heaven to work from home ;-) TRUTHBOMB TIME: Online it can appear everyone’s smashing it in business, while in reality we’re all facing challenges behind the scenes. Can you share something YOU struggle with on a day-to-day basis when it comes to running your business? I really shy away from self-promotion. It doesn’t come naturally to me whatsoever. But I know this is part (well, a whole lot) of what it takes to be successful in business; to be successful in anything

What’s one piece of advice that has never left you?

To be successful, you have to show up for yourself - like really commit to it. I always remind myself of this when my confidence is low, or I need to do something that makes me feel super uncomfortable. When we show up for ourselves, we’re aligning with our highest potential and showing the world what we’re truly capable of. Where do you find your inspiration? I find inspiration everywhere! I’m a book nerd so get a lot of ideas and inspiration from books, as well as podcasts. I’m always inspired by my clients and the amazing women in my community, seeing everything they’re creating in the world and really choosing to go for it! For visual inspiration I love magazines, as well as Pinterest and Instagram of course!

shineonlinemagazine

19


I also find that my best creative work comes after I’ve spent time offline and away from my laptop - so whether it’s going to the movies; seeing an exhibition; going on long hikes or running - I tend to come up with awesome ideas after creating space and simply switching off.

What does success mean for you?

What are you excited about right now?

By that definition, I am successful!

My 30 Day Goal-Getting program kicks off again in March with all the tools and strategies, support and accountability to help people shift their mindset so they feel empowered, motivated and inspired to reach their biggest goals in 2018! What’s your favourite business tool? Probably Evernote - I use it for everything and love that I can access it on any device, no matter where I am.

20

shineonlinemagazine

Success to me is all about living in alignment with my strengths, values and purpose, while being of service in the world and being able to enjoy the journey along the way with the people I love!

Running your own business is the biggest journey of self-discovery and it exposes all of your flaws.


Rachel Gadiel Rachel Gadiel is a coach, writer, speaker and the founder of Dreams for Breakfast - a global online community empowering trailblazing women to reach their potential, align with their purpose and design a life beyond their wildest dreams. Through her online programs, mentoring, blog and podcast, she helps women cut through the B.S. that has been holding them back, so they can be their most confident, badass self; doing the things they always wanted to do, and doing it all on PURPOSE. shineonlinemagazine

21


Top 5 Tips by Fi Mims Photog raphy HOW TO USE VIDEO IN YOUR BUSINESS

T audience.

here is no doubt about it, if there was one message that stood out in 2017, it’s that we all need to create fresh video content to share with our

Video is the newest, the best and the most versatile tool you can use in your business. It boosts conversions and sales; you get a higher return on investment; it builds trust and connection; search engines love it; and it encourages audience engagement more than any other medium.

22

shineonlinemagazine

Bottom line is, if you’re not using video already - you should be! That said, stepping in front of the camera isn’t easy and coming up with content can be difficult. First, we have to get over any issues around how we look, then we have to figure out what to say, and then we have to practice it – just like any form of public speaking! So here are five easy ideas to help you out. And as an added bonus, some of them don’t even need you to be on camera!


1. INTRODUCE YOURSELF

When people are purchasing a product or service, they want to know who they are buying from. If they can see you, connect with you and get a sense of what you’re about, then there is a greater chance that they will hit the ‘buy’ button. That’s why it’s important for you introduce yourself to your audience, and the best way you can do this is through video. Just create a short video which tells people who you are, what you do and how you solve their problems. You will be able to connect with them instantly.

2. TESTIMONIALS

Testimonials are a fantastic way to provide social proof for businesses and video testimonials provide an instant emotional connection with the person talking. They immediately build trust and are one of the most authentic forms of marketing you can create for yourself. It is way more persuasive when people hear how good you are from other people than just you! There’s no need for fancy equipment either – just whip out your phone and record your client on the spot.

4. EDUCATE PEOPLE People love to learn and feel engaged and intellectually stimulated. Video is a great way to share your knowledge with your audience. It also builds respect and shows you are a leader in your field. You could record a how-to video, teach your audience something they don’t know or interview experts in different fields. There are so many options!

5. STORYTELLING

People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it. And people love stories. So it’s super important to make sure you share yours! Tell them how you started your business: Where did the journey begin? What lights you up about your work? How does your work impact your life and the life of your clients? The more emotionally compelling you make your story, the more you will connect with your audience and entice them to work with you.

3. BEHIND THE SCENES

People love getting a sneak peek into what goes on behind the scenes in a business. It gives them a chance to see how things are really done – a glimpse of reality! And it’s another great way for you to connect with your audience, showing them the human aspect of your business and the work that goes into making it tick.

shineonlinemagazine

23


24

shineonlinemagazine


shineonlinemagazine

25


BUILDING A BUSINESS WITH

, t r a e h d n a n o i t i intu with the founder of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy Julie Parker Interview by Fi Mims

26

shineonlinemagazine


I

n this issue of Shine, it’s my absolute pleasure to interview the amazing Julie Parker, founder of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy and trainer for heart-centred coaches from all over the world. I have worked with Julie for a number of years now, having photographed many of her Beautiful You Coaching Academy events, including one in 2017 in Paris (my

Fi:

dream job and a career highlight!). She is one of the most inspirational women I know, one I could listen to talk for hours, and in this interview we chat about her extraordinary journey from a career as a one-on-one life coach, to founder of a hugely successful global coaching academy. Please, make yourself a cuppa, get acquainted with this amazing lady if you aren’t already, and enjoy.

Julie, you have been on quite a journey through your life. From starting out as a social worker to becoming … well, today you’re a modern day priestess! Can you tell us how you got started?

Julie: I’m now in my 16th year in the coaching industry, so I’ve been around for a long time. And I had a very successful career in business coaching, which I established after having started out my career as a social working and clinical counsellor. I absolutely love what I do.

I’m very privileged and blessed. I get to travel all over the world meeting amazing people and I just couldn’t imagine doing anything else at the moment. I’ve got a brilliant team. It attracts beautiful people and I just get to work with the most amazing human beings. Ultimately, that’s the thing I love most about what I do. Fi:

You’ve also had your fair share of heartache and tough times through that journey. Looking back, are you amazed at where your life has taken you?

shineonlinemagazine

27


Julie: So surprised. Like, outrageously surprised. And not because I’ve had any more hard knocks than any other person. But truly, if you had told me that I was going to be running a global business when I was a young girl, or even when I was at university or in my early days as a social worker, and that the global business would allow me to travel the world, work with the most amazing entrepreneurs and people and have the impact that it’s having, I honestly would have said that you were being ridiculous. I cannot sit here and tell you Fi, that I ever had some grand plan or vision for this business. I’m not a planner. I get things done on a dayto-day basis and when it comes to big picture things, I am more of an in-feminine-flow type of woman. Divine intuition leads me places and helps me unfold things that I really want to do, and they feel exciting, beautiful and rich for me in an internal way. I had no idea that it would lead to what it has

28

shineonlinemagazine

today, but I’m certainly glad that it has. Fi:

A lot of people talk about the importance of planning and making goals. What are your thoughts about finding a balance between that and flowing with your own intuition?

Julie: Well, I do think it’s different to everyone. Sometimes, I think seeking that balance can actually make us more unbalanced in the long run. You know, sometimes I think we have to surrender as people to the fact, especially when we’re business owners, that we just might go through periods of time where we’re not balanced. If we’re launching something really significant, or we’ve got a lot on our plate, it may mean some things have got to give. We need to learn to be good to ourselves during those times. Sometimes we give ourselves a


really hard time and think we’re doing something wrong when that may not be the case at all. It could be in just a couple of days or a couple of weeks, things will be slower and softer and easier. But I do think that as women in business, it’s essential to try and find what works for you from the perspective of planning and setting goals; doing things and being in action; and learning how to slow down, rest and not get caught up in the hectic hustle. Finding ways to explore your own inner world and intuition is just as important and powerful as the more masculine type of traits that we all have. Men and women both have feminine and masculine style traits and when we can and find a good system for us that balances both of them, whatever that means to each person, I think it usually results in us being much happier and more content and able to move forward

in our lives the way that we want to, and in a way that feels good to us. Fi:

Has there been any major turning points in your path; big decisions or life changes?

Julie: It’s been a culmination of things. But there are two instances where I can feel into and believe, looking back at them now, that they were pretty pivotal. The first was back when I was doing one-on-one coaching. I genuinely believed (and fell into the trap of thinking) that to be successful as a woman in business, I needed to be corporate and serious, and have a brand that was a reflection of that. I started out very navy, very beige, corporate and serious. It felt very fake, very inauthentic, and it’s not going to come as any surprise to anybody that I didn’t get clients. I had the real estate style headshot and I deeply struggled in those early days

shineonlinemagazine

29


because it just didn’t really feel right. A girlfriend said to me, “What is this? I look at this website and I look at this picture of you and I just don’t even know who it is.” She said, “Where is the feminine? The fun? The playful? The creative Jules that I know?” She said, “Where’s the pink? You love pink. It’s your favourite colour! Where is it?”

a great deal more on the business rather than in the business. And it was a significant turning point that allowed for a lot of growth for us. Fi:

I was like, “I just ...” and she said, “Honestly, you should go back to your designer and tell her to rip it out and start again using colours and fonts and a feel that you love.”

Those two things are so key. To me it all comes back to confidence. Even though we all know in our hearts that we need to be authentic and own our confidence and be our brand, it can still be the hardest thing for women in particular to do. There is still so much fear and self-doubt around it. To just go out and do what you love and not care what others think is probably one of the biggest and best hurdles to overcome in life, isn’t it?

Everyone wants to feel warm and welcomed; like they are genuinely seen and a part of something.

It was a huge turning point for me in my business. As soon as I did that, I fell more in love with coaching and my own business and my own self as a coach. I had more confidence. I believed in what I was about and what I was doing more.

And as a result of that authenticity, it started to attract a lot more people to my work, which was wonderful. So that was very pivotal. And the second thing is much later, with the establishment of the Academy. Making the very scary – but what was an absolutely right and very necessary – decision to really take a financial leap of faith and start to engage people to help me. It changed everything because it allowed me to be able to work

30

shineonlinemagazine

Julie: Absolutely, without question. It really is. I wish it wasn’t for so many women, in particular. But, it is. It seems to be.

Fi:

With the Beautiful You Coaching Academy, you’ve built an incredible community of heart-centred inspirational women, which I experience whenever I’m working with you. What has helped you to grow such an amazing global community?

Julie: In truth, the growth of the community and how wonderful and supportive it is, begins with the actual reason that it exists in the first place. And that is because of the hearts and desires of our


community members and the type of world that they want to create and be a part of. Combined with what I really hope – and I do believe – is a wonderful course. For anybody who is trying to build a community of some kind in their business, I think that those are the two things that you really have to pay very close attention to. Within the community, no matter what age they are, where they live in the world, what race, colour, gender, sexuality, any of those sorts of things, there needs to be a common thread so that when they come together, or when you’re trying to communicate with them, really beautiful things happen. And in some way, it’s going to look different for every person, but with all of the people who undertake

the Beautiful You Life Coaching courses, they’re so heart-driven. They’re passionate about people. They’re giving. They’re authentic and genuine. They want to make a difference in the world. And so that’s a powerful group of people to bring together in the community. I also feel that the community would not be so strong if they didn’t have a wonderful experience in the actual course. And that’s something that we try very, very hard to cultivate by the provision of a really wonderful service. For anyone trying to build community, whether it’s through an event or a course or an experience of any kind, you have to provide a really A1, firstclass experience. Otherwise, the community won’t build from there.

shineonlinemagazine

31


Fi:

One of the things I love about the Beautiful You Community is that as the founder, you still add a very personal ‘Julie’ touch to it. It feels like you are still heavily involved in every aspect and your community feels like they know you personally. Is there a secret sauce recipe to maintaining that personal touch after so much growth?

Julie: Well the first thing is, I have a wonderful team of people who support me in so many of the things that I do. There is no way I could turn up the way that I do if I didn’t have people behind me helping me all the way. It’s not all me. I’m very, very grateful and I want it to be clearly known by anybody reading that I am not a one woman show. I have a team here and don’t carry it all on my own shoulders. The other things is, and this is a really important aspect, we deliberately aim for a boutique, high-touch personal experience in pretty much everything that we

32

shineonlinemagazine

do. That’s really, really important to me because they’re the sort of communities I like to be a part of and want to be connected to. So we have smaller numbers. We don’t take hundreds and hundreds of people in every course that we run. We only run three courses a year. Most of our events are usually around about the 50-70 people mark with a lot of team members there, so people never feel lost or disconnected and they know there’s always somebody there to help them, even if it’s just that the bathroom needs toilet paper. Nobody wants to feel like a tiny, tiny little fish in a big sea. Everyone wants to feel warm and welcomed, like they are genuinely seen and a part of something. And that’s something we work really hard at. Fi:

Did you find it hard to let go of the reins initially with your business?

Julie: Very. Very hard. And thee are still elements that I find really hard to let go of. Part of that has to do


with the fact that I’m a Leo. I’m a leader. I like to be in control. It’s that more masculine, sometimes quite bossy and controlling side of my personality, which I’m willing to admit is part of shadow. Then the other side of it is actually a bit nostalgic. It feels like I’m giving up part of my baby. A hugely, intensely, creatively-birthed, laborious project that took so much heart and so much soul and so much work and so much commitment. It feels strange to hand over the reins of that to someone else. But of course, every good idea and project has to reach that point at some point in time if it’s going to be sustainable. And it’s something I’m still getting used to. I’ve learned that finding really wonderful people to do it with is the key. Fi:

Speaking of which, your beautiful partner Glenn came into the business a few years ago now. What’s it like working with your partner? Do you have to ban the work talk at home?

Julie: We probably should ban the work talk, to tell you the truth, but we don’t. I could sit here and tell you that there is an easy distinction between work and home but sometimes there isn’t. There just isn’t. I feel very blessed that I have a dedicated office, which I never used to have when the Academy first started. I must admit that this does make it easier to separate business and personal, and I’m really glad about that. But at the same time, sometimes when you’ve got to talk about things, you’ve just got to talk about them. If that happens to be over dinner or at 9:00pm when your phone has just gone ping and something needs your attention, you just have to do it. And we’re okay with that. But in answer to your first question about what’s it like, well, truth be told, it’s actually really wonderful. He has an incredible skill set that I don’t have. And I’m very grateful to him for taking control of sides of the business that I’ve actually never

shineonlinemagazine

33


wanted to look at. He is taking care of inventory; printing and management of my international mail outs; invoicing and handling all of that side of the business, which in truth makes me feel like I’m collapsing in on myself. I don’t feel as though I can be creative and alive, really teaching and leading well if I’m having to deal with things like that. So I feel incredibly blessed to have a husband and a business partner who is not only able to take care of those things but who actually really enjoys it. Fi:

I like what you said about not feeling bad talking about work, even if it comes up at 9:00pm, because I think we can be made to feel guilty for working too much. Particularly when it’s something you love and something that lights you up. There always seems to be this push for “work/life balance” and dividing it up. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be separated as long as you’re covering all your bases in terms of looking after yourself, spending time with friends and people that you care about, and working. We all have to find our own fit in what makes us happy and what works for us. There’s so much guilt already, isn’t there?

Julie: So much guilt. And it’s not only completely unnecessary but it’s super damaging. I’m perfectly happy to share with you and all of your readers that my favourite

34

shineonlinemagazine

work day of the week is Sunday. Nobody’s emailing me. Nobody is calling me. I do not have to be on social media. There’s nothing for me to respond to. I love the spaciousness that gives me to be able to write, plan, explore and create. It is just extraordinary. I love working on a Sunday. Once upon a time, many years ago, I would have felt very guilty about that. I would have thought I was doing something wrong or that I had my whole perspective screwed up and I didn’t have a life. But I no longer think that. I 100% go with what works for me. I don’t work every Sunday. But when I want to and when I feel called, oh, I’m totally in there. And I get so much done. It’s wonderful. Fi:

Your work involves so much fun stuff. Like speaking, teaching; you’ve got a podcast now, you’ve got your magazine; you run beautiful events in cities like Paris! I know you love it all, but is there one thing you love above everything else in your work?

Julie: Oh, wow. That is a really good question. I have to say it’s when we get together in person. There are lots of elements that I love; like when someone has a huge breakthrough ‘aha moment’ on a training call; when I hear practice coaching live on calls, that’s also really great. But gosh, there is nothing like bringing people together in person and seeing and meeting them in person. It’s truly wonderful. So yeah, I love that.


Fi:

Okay. I’ve got some quick questions here to finish up for you. What do you think is a woman’s biggest superpower?

starting. But I’m very excited about the potential impact that coaches can have in that area of the world. Fi: What’s one bit of business advice you can give people?

Julie: Her intuition.

Julie: One that I would really like and I think that this is relevant to all Fi: If you could wish for one thing businesses is: don’t try to please for women, what would it be? everybody or market to everybody. Really, really hone in on your niche, Julie: To believe in themselves enough your ideal client, your skill set, and to do whatever it is that they’re what you truly love to do. If you try dreaming of and to appeal to everyone, feel called to do. you’ll appeal to no one. And so really focus on Fi: What does getting that right and success mean to you’ll be amazed at what you? will come forward for you. Julie: Being able to spend my time in any way Fi: And if you were that I want. to look into the future, where are Fi: What are you you going to be in most excited about at the five years’ time? moment? Julie: Honestly, I would just like to be still Julie: I’m going to go with the very first doing what I’m doing. I don’t have thing that came into my head, any grand plans for the business which could be different on any to grow hugely big or anything given day. I’m most excited at the like that. It feels enough. It feels moment about the emerging work beautiful and okay and fabulous, that coaches are being called to do you know, just enough as it is. And in the field of social justice. We’ve I just want more of the same, truth got a long way to go. We’re just be told. More of the same.

Seeking balance actually can make us more unbalanced in the long run.

Julie Parker Julie Parker is the Founder of The Beautiful You Coaching Academy where she passionately trains and supports heart centered people to bring their talents into the world as life coaches. As a published author and in demand speaker, Julie has inspired thousands of people on stages all over the world. Julie is also a modern day Priestess and the host of  The Priestess Podcast.  She is deeply committed to being a living embodiment of the Goddess through supporting women on their own spiritual journeys. shineonlinemagazine

35


l a n o i t n Inte Year:

AN

HOW TO GET CLEAR ON WHAT YOU WANT AND STICK WITH IT. By Robyn Amott

O

kay, so I’m going to be completely honest with you, I’ve struggled over the last week to actually write this article. Now before you go and turn the page, stick with me on this one. As I write this, it’s two weeks before Christmas, which I’m cool with. It’s just another day, in another week, in another month, in terms of my schedule. I’ve written so many articles about Time Management and Scheduling & Routines, and I work with my clients daily to help them reduce the physical & mental clutter from their own lives to establish healthy change & routines. So, why was I

36

shineonlinemagazine

struggling so much to get the words out, to find that unique angle or way that I could deliver the same information to you in a different way? Quite simply, it was all the extra noise that was coming in from the outside. I have no doubt you can all relate to this feeling of complete overwhelm. I felt paralysed, like I couldn’t BREATHE! I wanted the world to just stop, so I could get off this crazy rollercoaster. I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that scheduling our time is one thing – but life happens. So how do you know when to let in the noise or ignore it altogether and move on with living life with your own intention? By definition, “Intentional living is any lifestyle based on an individual or group’s


shineonlinemagazine

37


conscious attempts to live according to their values and beliefs.” Simplified, it’s our ‘why’ in what we choose to take on. We don’t always have control over what life throws at us, but we sure as hell do have a choice in how we respond to it. The thing we all struggle with is allowing in too much! We are saying yes to more. It’s not that we don’t manage our time well, it’s that we are trying to manage too much. You’re probably already aware of the top five intentions made at this time of year. ‘I want to be more organised’ is amongst them. Being organised and clutter-free within our work and home life is of great advantage to our lives. It allows for a greater level of clarity, focus, and productivity. So, I suggest decluttering your environment to remove all those distractions. Decluttering however, goes way beyond our physical spaces. It’s in our lifestyle choices, our mental spaces and extends to anything that potentially bogs us down in our business, productivity, happiness or life more generally. It’s within our scheduling, routines and habits that we can truly establish or live in accordance with our intentions. The trick to a well-scheduled life is not doing more. It’s in the act of doing less, that we achieve more. So how do we take this opportunity of a brand new year to do something different? We need to simplify things.

38

‘intentions’ feels more tangible, measurable, and achievable. At the start of each year you have a new flurry of information and opportunities that you need to factor into your schedule. So, start with a blank canvas and take back control. Get clear on what your intention is. What’s your vision for how you want your life to be? Then, break it down into bitesized chunks. Within my organising sessions with clients we look at ‘Primary’ and ‘Secondary’ storage zones. It’s the same for scheduling. Not everything can be top priority every day. We have ‘must-do’ primary tasks and ‘the world won’t end’ secondary tasks. Get clear on how these exist within your day. Primary tasks are often non-negotiable whereas secondary tasks can always be shifted when needed. Go with just one system.

Start with a blank canvas.

Stick with the one system that you know works for you when building your schedule. Too many different platforms is a sure-fire way to stuff things up.

New Year and resolutions go hand-inhand. Personally, the word ‘resolutions’ is too whimsical for me. The word

Factor in the most important things first.

shineonlinemagazine


Keep a family planner for all those events that you must do. Establish your work schedule around these events and/or look at those crossovers where you know you’re going to have to call in outside help to share the load.

our own limits means learning to say ‘no’ to ourselves. While you might like the idea of taking on extra activities, you may not need it or have the time for it.

Establish limits.

Let it go: We often subscribe to far more than we can take on. Consider what you’re allowing in and whether it has a genuine purpose to you, your business, or family. The less we take on, the more we gain.

It’s vital to establish boundaries around the number of clients we schedule in per week, or kid’s activities, or the number of invitations we accept. Learning to establish

Adjust your values/expectations.

It’s in the act of doing less, that we achieve more.

shineonlinemagazine

39


Take the ‘busy’ out of your vocabulary: The word ‘busy’ is our modern day ‘go to’ as an excuse. When you find yourself using the word ’busy’, it’s the perfect opportunity to check in with your intentions check list and your existing schedule to ensure you don’t overload yourself. Find your motivation: Positive actions lead to motivation, which encourages more action, which builds momentum. Stop procrastinating and take action.

Don’t fear your mistakes: Mistakes are platforms from which we learn. Accepting

shineonlinemagazine

Think outside the box: Being rash in our actions or responses is often part of the reason we end up over committed. There’s no harm in saying ‘I’ll get back to you on that’. We don’t have to have all the answers immediately. Take this time to evaluate your current commitments and move forward with a more positive plan.

We don’t always have control over what life throws at us, but we sure as hell do have a choice in how we respond to it.

Be consistent: Being consistent within our daily/weekly habits means we can remove them from our schedule. These become habitual elements of our lives that we just do, without even thinking about.

40

that mistakes happen, creates greater opportunities for ourselves and our business, whilst freeing us from guilt.

Learn when to say no: Look at what you’re allowing in and know when it’s just not possible. It’s okay to say, ‘no that doesn’t work for me’. Be sure to add some wriggle room: When blocking out your diary/times, don’t forget


to include ‘wriggle room’ such as travel times, lunch break, or just do nothing. We don’t have to fill every last second of every day. The demands on businesses in the modern-day world, with social media and being seen as being present across so many platforms is often just not achievable and often unnecessary. So, recognise when you can outsource to others. The small monetary outlay is well worth it, so you can apply your time to what you do best.

In conclusion, for me, it’s more important to be present within my own life, my own business, and my own family, than getting caught up in whatever else I could be doing. So, find your ‘you’, find your intention, create a schedule that supports you, and stick with it. Tell me, what are your intentions for the year ahead?

Robyn Amott Robyn Amott is an expert organiser, de-clutter specialist and founder of Bless this Mess Organising. She is also mum to two adorable girls. Blessed with a natural flair for organising and attention to detail, Robyn’s aim is to empower her clients and remove the overwhelm through teaching the basic yet valuable concepts, skills and systems needed to reclaim and maintain the spaces in their home, office or small business. shineonlinemagazine

41


d n i M The

A BEAUTIFUL SERVANT, A DANGEROUS MASTER

P

By Cassandra Goodman

eople have between 25,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day. Around 85% of our thoughts are negative and around 95% are repetitive. We have old stories and selflimiting beliefs playing on repeat day after day. The Indian guru Osho was really onto something when he described the human mind as a beautiful servant but a very dangerous master.

it is essential for me to continue to practice cultivating a sense of sustainable happiness and worthiness. I have learnt the importance of prioritising self-care without guilt or apology because of the strong connection between my wellbeing and the health of our family unit.

In my case, the thousands of daily negative and repetitive thoughts often relate to achievements (or more specifically frustrations related to achievements being too difficult or slow). I suffer from a longheld belief that my achievements are proof that I am valued. I’ve since learned this is not an uncommon pattern for us “high achiever” types. It is quite easy to spend an entire lifetime attempting to prove your worth through achievements. Always striving, always craving validation. Never feeling content with just ‘being’. Always ‘doing’.

What exactly is mindfulness?

In my mid-30’s, I started to notice how this belief pattern was holding me back from living a fulfilled and happy life. Now that I am in my 40’s working fulltime in the corporate world with two young children,

A big part of my commitment to personal wellbeing revolves around the practices of mindfulness and a quest to understand the workings of my monkey mind.

Mindfulness is focusing on what’s happening right now. It’s stopping to smell the roses. It is not being mentally preoccupied about the dirty laundry, my inbox or the mistakes I might have made yesterday. James Baraz described mindfulness as “simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it was different.” Others have described mindfulness as the ability to step behind the waterfall of our thoughts into a position of observation from where you can see thoughts come and go without being swept away with them.


group when it comes to mindfulness. I understand it will take me time to cultivate the skills and awareness to pull my mind out of the whitewash: to stand in the space between those long-held beliefs with deeply entrenched auto-pilot reactions and the tranquility that sits behind the waterfall. Victor Frankl the Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor said: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” My quest to better understand my monkey mind has provided me with some wonderful experiences: I have done headstands at dawn, chanted in an Ashram, participated in ancient shamanic meditations for each chamber of my heart, listened to the Dali Lama speak, attended retreats, read dozens of books and completed Google’s “Search Inside Yourself ” programme. I am still firmly in the beginners

44

shineonlinemagazine

I have tasted just enough of the deep contentment that resides within this stillness of ‘being’ to know that mindfulness it is an incredibly important life skill. Cultivating more awareness of my thoughts has been a big first step. I am starting to notice the frequently reoccurring patterns of unhelpful thoughts that previously had been hidden from my conscious mind. I have also noticed that I am able to shake off the negative feelings associated with “old stories” more easily. I am learning to let go of self-inflicted suffering by gently guiding myself back into a mindset of abundance, acceptance and peace. I find it helpful to think of my brain as the hardware and my mind as the software.


This reminds me that I can rewrite my brain’s operating system anytime I observe its functionality no longer serving me. The trick is to loosen the grip of your mind just enough to see that you are in fact in its grips. To do this we must become a curious observers of our software’s wacky functionality. The first step is just to start to notice. Have you ever noticed the language we use to describe physical pain. It’s as if it’s something separate from ourselves. For example, “I have a headache”. Yet when we experience psychological or emotional pain, we might describe it like “I am a complete fraud.” See the difference? When we think “I have a headache” we are separate from the pain but when we think “I am a complete fraud” we have become the pain. This skill of separating ourselves from our thoughts is called “cognitive de-fusion”. When we are in a state of cognitive fusion we see our thoughts as true and important. We take them seriously and give them our full attention. By contrast, when we are in a state of cognitive de-fusion, we take a step back and realise that our thoughts are merely words and stories passing through our heads. We understand that these thoughts may or may not be true. We don’t automatically believe them and we notice that thoughts may or may not be important. We pay attention to them only if they are helpful.

thought that I am a complete fraud… Ah, welcome back Imposter Syndrome, my old friend. Now please be quiet, I am doing something important.” With practice, patience and a spirit of playful curiosity, I am getting better at noticing the times when I have been in the grips of unhelpful thoughts. From that perspective, I then have the freedom to decide that perhaps it is time for an operating system upgrade. Mindfulness comes in many forms. Perhaps poetry is more your style. This poem is called “Dear You” and it is written by Keveri Patel.

I find it helpful to think of my brain as the hardware and my mind as the software. This reminds me that I can rewrite my brain’s operating system anytime I observe its functionality no longer serving me.

The goal is to get to a level of awareness where the unhelpful thought: “I am a complete fraud” evolves into: “I am having the

shineonlinemagazine

45


“

I have tasted just enough of the deep contentment that resides within this stillness of ‘being’ to know that mindfulness it is an incredibly important life skill.

46

shineonlinemagazine


Dear you, You who always have so many things to do so many places to be your mind spinning like fan blades at high speed each moment always a blur because you’re never still. I know you’re tired. I also know it’s not your fault. The constant brain-buzz is like a swarm of bees threatening to sting if you close your eyes. You’ve forgotten something again. You need to prepare for that or else. You should have done that differently. What if you closed your eyes? Would the world fall apart without you? Or would your mind become the open sky flock of thoughts flying across the sunrise as you just watched and smiled. If you are curious to learn more about mindfulness there are many wonderful books to choose from. Mrs Mindfulness list of book recommendations is a great place to start.

Cassandra Goodman Cassandra Goodman is a senior executive who believes in the radical humanisation of workplaces by designing work practices with the intent to unleash human potential. She has held leadership roles with General Electric, Origin Energy and Bupa and currently works at Australian Unity leading a team based on the belief that when you take care of employees they take care of customers. Cassandra’s purpose is to lead a balanced and fulfilled life and to learn from a likeminded tribe of zesty generous people who are passionate about human flourishing. shineonlinemagazine

47


e v o L f Sel

IS NOT FOR SALE: Caring for yourself in modern times By Michelle Marie McGrath

N

ow that the term self-love has gone mainstream, it’s evident that there’s a lack of understanding around what it actually means. The outdated reference to ‘being selfish’ still occasionally features. Surely we’ve moved on from believing that it’s wrong to love and care for ourselves in a healthy way. Self-love is taking responsibility for ourselves and letting go of the need for external validation. We are bombarded with self-love and selfcare suggestions which seem to translate into a myriad of ways of how we can spend money. I enjoy having a massage and a pamper as much as any sane person. However, if a shopping spree or having a facial is your only interpretation of ‘selflove’, you’re missing the point completely. In a society that glorifies being busy, it’s a revolutionary act to pause and rest. This is something that I’m still learning about

48

shineonlinemagazine

every day. We are so conditioned to ‘push through,’ ‘keep going’ and ‘try harder.’ Exhausting. Imagine if there was nothing more to do but sit back, acknowledge how far we’ve already come and celebrate each milestone. Can you commit to having some time to simply be with yourself ? To sit and do nothing but focus on your breath and notice how your body is feeling? Self-love cannot be outsourced. This is about YOU having a relationship with you. I’m referring to how you relate to your thoughts and feelings about YOU, in case you’re still wondering what I mean. What are your most recurrent thoughts about yourself ? How do YOU feel about YOU? More importantly, how do you then respond or react to these thoughts and feelings? Self-love is NOT: · Maxing out your credit card on a shopping spree as you book yet another workshop or holiday that you can’t


shineonlinemagazine

49


afford. It’s not buying shoes, clothes, jewellery, or a personal stylist, or another ‘fill in the blank’ that you don’t need so you can temporarily feel better by distracting yourself from how you are truly feeling; · Saving up for non-health-related cosmetic surgery because your nose, boobs, lips, skin, stomach or another body part don’t match up to the fantasy image in your head. If you believe, ‘I’ll love myself when my… looks different’. Or even worse, you believe you’ll ‘meet Mr/Mrs Right’ when you’ve had that procedure done. That’s called self-loathing. When that novelty has worn off, what will be the next focus? · Spending half your salary on all types of practitioners and therapists to ‘fix you’ because you can’t stand spending time with yourself or looking inside for the answers within your own heart; · Depriving yourself on yet another diet and promising yourself you’ll treat your body with respect when you’ve dropped a size or two. (Don’t get me started on the 97% of diets that do not work);

50

shineonlinemagazine

· Extreme and gruelling exercise under the guise of ‘being healthy and loving your body’ with that outdated paradigm of ‘no pain, no gain’; · Posting a million ‘selfies’ on social media ‘doing’ all these ‘self-loving activities.’ That’s called desperately seeking external validation, in case you were wondering. In an era where we are more technologically connected than ever, we seem to be increasingly disconnected from nature and our own body-wisdom. Now, you may feel I’m exaggerating. I am not saying never treat yourself to something lovely or indulge in a bit of luxury. It’s when you become dependent upon this external input to feel good about yourself or you go into debt by doing so. Self-love is not for sale It is alarming, the rapid increase in anxiety and depression-related conditions, suicide, eating disorders and self-harming behaviours. Billions are spent on cosmetic surgery by a society obsessed with reversing the signs of ageing. Does this sound like we


are becoming more accepting of ourselves? We have become normalised to believing that we are not ok as we are. All of these behaviours are manifestations born from a lack of self-love and the underlying belief of not being good enough. This is NOT true. You are magnificently enough, just by the fact you exist. We are all ageing in each moment and we all have to die. This is the only guarantee. Why resist reality? We are here for such a short time so let’s encourage each other to celebrate our unique and amazing bodies in all their shapes and sizes.

The next time you reach for your wallet, I encourage you to pause for a moment and ask yourself: · Which part of me am I most avoiding? · Is there a feeling I am resisting or ignoring? · Which feeling am I most uncomfortable with? · Which aspect of me would most love my attention?

In a society that glorifies being busy, it’s a revolutionary act to pause and rest.

If we put a fraction of the time into our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing as we do into material matters and relationships with others, our lives would be enhanced exponentially.

Start to have a loving conversation with yourself. Your life will change - this I know is true. If that seems like a stretch, then start by being curious and kind. If you were meeting a new friend, how would you behave? You would show interest in them and what they care about to form a connection.

Not sure where to start? Start here. Right now in this moment. Notice your breath and place your hand on your heart. It’s beating. You’re alive. That in itself is a miracle. You are a miracle. Exactly as you are.

Michelle Marie McGrath Michelle Marie McGrath is a self-love mentor, intuitive womb guide, writer, aromatherapist and creator of Sacred Self alchemical oils, mists and self-love cards. Her mission is to assist women in reconnecting to their own sacred self: to live a life based on selflove, truth and freedom. She is also the host of popular podcast Unclassified Woman which predominantly explores the lives of women who are childfree or childless, birthing alternative lives of purpose and meaning. Receive her free e-course “7 Days of Truthtelling” here. shineonlinemagazine

51


“YOU ARE MAGNIFICENTLY ENOUGH, JUST BY THE FACT YOU EXIST..”

52

shineonlinemagazine


shineonlinemagazine

53


d e r t n e C t r a e H : s s e n Busi LEADING A

Balancing the head with the heart By Victoria Sorbera

54

shineonlinemagazine


shineonlinemagazine

55


Y

our heart is the most astute and practical business tool you have in your kit. Beyond the fabulous products, beyond the slick marketing, I believe it’s ALL about the heart. Your heart is infinitely more powerful that your head. It can actually send sixteen times more information to the brain than vice versa! Incredibly, it can also transmit energy waves three times further than your brain. Your heart is like a giant transmitter. Your head on the other hand is a miser – it governs the information that comes in and out to keep us safe. Of course this is critical for our survival. Those loud voices in our head are like a safety alarm, madly trying to keep us from harm or the unknown. But they can get so loud sometimes that we often can’t hear out intuition: our heart. It’s important to ‘reset’ every now and then and say to those voices, “Thanks! But I’ve got this!” I have found there are four things I can to do to quieten my head and harness the immense power of my heart in business: 1. 2. 3. 4.

Focus on developing trust and deep connection with people; Commit to being your best you; Be gritty; and Be grateful

TRUST So, here’s a question for you all: how are YOU showing up in your business today? Because YOU are the secret sauce.

56

shineonlinemagazine

People buy YOU. They buy how you make them feel and the value you add into their life. They buy into a relationship, a connection with you. It’s all about trust. Trust is a feeling. It’s intuition. And I believe it’s your heart speaking. Brené Brown describes it as “the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued.” John O’Leary in his excellent blog (which I recommend) suggests 3 simple steps to deepen your connection, or trust, with others: Acknowledge people: In this busy world where we are all attached to a phone and pulled in multiple directions, he asks, “do you confuse being next to someone as being with them?” Do you look people in the eyes when you talk to them? Do you use their name in conversation? It’s such a powerful indicator that you’re actually engaged! Honour people: Take yourself completely out of the equation when you meet them. Focus only on creating a rich experience around what’s important to them. Ask questions! I love nothing more than finding out what makes a person tick. What excites them? What are their dreams? What’s missing in their life? What are they scared of ? I honour them by ASKING.

Your heart is infinitely more powerful that your head.


Connect: In every relationship we have an opportunity to show sincere and personal appreciation for another person. I chat to all the oldies in our neighbourhood. My children would usually prefer I didn’t, but we talk about the weather, the footy, the price of avocados – anything! I get this from my parents and here’s the thing: over my whole life, I have always seen people light up when Mum or Dad have gone out of their way to ask them how they were. I might have no idea about what is going on in that person’s life, but for some of the people in my neighbourhood, I might just be the only person they’ve spoken to all day. People are crying out for personal connection – it’s crazy that in such an online connected world we hear so many stories of loneliness. By doing these three things you will create trust and deeper connection with others. You can show people that you know who they are and that who they are matters. It’s so powerful, isn’t it? And so simple. YOUR BEST YOU To confidently make connections you need to be comfortable with YOU. Everything I have read, every speaker I have heard, every conference I have attended since beginning my business 4 years ago has given me greater insight and clarity about who I am and why I am here.

daily learning and action, and one day you’ll look back at how far you’ve come. Growth and authenticity go hand in hand. As business owners we are our own storefronts every single day. You can’t take a break from you! People see straight through pretenders. You will be seen as inauthentic and that connection, that trust that you’ve created, will be gone. In this crazy world of social media and reality TV – authenticity is rare and prized. So be that authentic person. Own your brand! And commit to being MORE YOU than ever before. GRIT Growing isn’t always easy or comfortable. I’ve had times in my business when I felt so challenged, so deflated and so far out of my comfort zone I’ve wondered “is it worth it?” Everyone has these moments and they’re entirely normal, but they can hit you like a brick wall. I heard once “it’s not about failure – it’s only about feedback” and I think there’s something in it!

Personal development can help you connect your passion and purpose. And your purpose or your ‘why’ is everything in business. It will sustain you and it will draw people to you.

I listened to an interesting TED talk recently about whether you could predetermine success in people. A study over several years was done across sports team, business groups, students and work places. The single characteristic evident in all the successful individuals in these studies was GRIT. It wasn’t education levels, access to money, geography, networks or even skill. Grit and that “whatever it takes” mindset trumped all of them.

If you aren’t reading 15-20 mins of a personal development book every day I urge you to START. It’s about consistent,

Grit is working harder and longer than everyone else in the game. It’s about personal daily discipline. Staying

shineonlinemagazine

57


committed to the path even when the results aren’t showing up. We are all in the business of solving problems through building relationships, trust and connection – and none of that happens overnight. Building a successful business takes time, and it’s not for the faint-hearted. You have to put on a gritty thick skin – because you will hear no’s - and remind yourself that what anyone thinks about you is none of your business! Being gritty also means embracing mistakes. Richard Branson talks about business success as making mistakes three times faster than you did last year. So I urge you to get dirty and fall forward and create a higher standard of grit for yourself and your business. GRATITUDE Finally, I couldn’t complete a piece on showing up in your business with heart without talking about gratitude. All things flow from having an attitude of gratitude. Giving thanks for everything you already have – however small – tells the universe, “I am ready to handle more.” Because we only get what we’re ready for. It’s vital to have a mindset of abundant gratitude in order for more to be given to you. So, mind your mind and what you feed it. What are your rituals around gratitude in your life? Do you write a journal at night? Do you light candles? Do you run or sun salute every day? Do you have cuddle time in bed with your partner or children every morning? Or do you sit in silence at a favourite spot and simply stop? Whatever

58

shineonlinemagazine

it is for you – find your ritual. Your daily rituals equal the quality of your daily life. I heard an amazing speaker Adam Merkel a couple of years ago share how every morning before he gets out of bed and puts his feet on the floor he says “I love my life”. How powerful is that! Talk about sending the clearest message to the universe! So, in closing, to be a heart-centred business owner, I encourage you to tune into your heart’s voice amidst the daily head noise and let it guide you to build deeper TRUST and connection with others. Be you – glorious authentic, your BEST YOU.


Be GRITTY – commit to the game for the long-haul and whatever it takes. Be GRATEFUL for your life and your business – fall in love with every part of it.

Fill your life with people, activities and rituals that will grow you, and in turn you will have the opportunity to serve more and more people through your business.

Victoria Sorbera Victoria Sorbera is a mum to two girls, Arbonne Independent Consultant and Special Projects Manager at Melbourne City Council. And a proud Kiwi. Since starting her Arbonne business 4 years ago, Victoria has become a personal development junkie and is currently reading ‘You Are a Badass at Making Money’ by Jen Sincero and ‘H3 Leadership’ by Brad Lomenick. She loves connecting with people and is passionate about coaching and mentoring others to lead their best lives.

Mary Oliver shineonlinemagazine

59


Q&A 60

shineonlinemagazine


FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS

r e f i h P e n i r e h t a with K

Tell us about your business; who are your clients and why do they choose you?

I am a mindset, success and happiness coach. I work individually and in groups with women throughout the world. In today’s time it can be difficult to lead, parent and live inspired lives. I work with career-oriented mothers who are striving to live an authentic and inspired life. They are looking to have fulfilling careers, deeper relationships and more happiness in their lives. A large portion of my clients are mothers of pre-teen and teenage girls. I support them to live accomplished lives while also managing the trials and difficulties of raising a young woman in today’s time. I have recently added another branch to my business and I am working with preteen and teenage girls in the Nashville, Tennessee area. In person, I coach young women to create deep relationships with their friends, boost their self-esteem and discover ways to grow up gracefully. My clients choose me because I am warm, thoughtful, positive and easy to talk with. I have a unique way of seeing the world, and I support my clients to reframe their thoughts and outlook. I hold my client’s accountable to reach their goals

by using a positive, gentle approach. I have an extensive history working as a mental health therapist for teens and their families and incorporate twelve years of counselling into my coaching business. What inspired you to start your business?

I’ve been on the path of running my own service-based business for a long time. About a year and a half ago, I moved from Anchorage, Alaska to Nashville, Tennessee. In Anchorage, I spent ten years establishing my career as an art therapist and mental health therapist to teenagers and their families in a crisis stabilization setting. I absolutely loved this work. I loved working with teenagers, and became a leader on the unit that I served. But after a decade of working with people in an acute crisis, I was ready to take my career path in a different direction. After my family and I moved to Tennessee, I had some time to reflect on my career and discovered the possibility of running a coaching business where I would work with people in a goal oriented, positive and exciting way. I loved the idea of working with women one-on-one, in groups and in masterminds. I attended the Beautiful You Life Coaching Academy for six months to learn about the important differences between coaching and

shineonlinemagazine

61


counselling. I also learned about how to truly run a heart-centred business. What was the biggest challenge in setting up your business? So far the biggest challenge in setting up my business has been the start up. My business is young, only five months old, and I am still figuring out the ins and outs of running a successful business. My biggest current challenge is keeping myself organized and on track. There’s quite a bit to keeping a business afloat, and I feel like I am treading water most days. I am still figuring out a system that works for me. I love the freedom of setting my own schedule, but I also struggle to keep it consistent. I continue to play with ways to accomplish tasks that support my creativity and productivity.

“

contributes to how my business ebbs and flows. I am learning daily what self-care techniques, boundaries and systems I need to have in place to have a high vibe mindset on a daily basis. What do you love most about your work? I love my clients! I love working with women who are eager to learn about themselves in a deeper way. I love watching and being a part of the magic that my clients create when they are reforming their lives to ones they truly love. I am so inspired by the women I get to work with!

Success to me means helping others to become a happier, more fulfilled, more inspired version of themselves.

What have you learned about yourself through the process of building your business? I have learned so many things about myself in the process of building my business! I think the biggest thing I have learned is that my mindset sets the tone for everything I do in my business. When I have a positive, active and energetic mindset and I convey that into my business, I feel so much more aligned. When I get off-center and am not feeling the high vibe mindset, it is reflected in my productivity. In my previous work, I showed up and did my job no matter my mindset. Now, it’s clear that my mindset

62

shineonlinemagazine

I also really love the freedom of aligning with people and platforms that I truly believe in. In the past year I have come across or met so many inspiring people. I love that my business allows me to connect with like-minded individuals. Share something you struggle with on a day to day basis when it comes to running your business. Currently, I struggle every day with staying organized and on top of my schedule. The creative side of me wants to do what I want when I feel inspired. The type A side of me gets a bit overwhelmed if I am not able to keep a productivity schedule. I am learning how to juggle both the creative and the Type A sides so that I am productive, organized and creative all at the same time.


I am also struggling with making sure that I do important self-care practices so that I show up in my business on a high vibe level. It is easy for me to let life get in the way of doing things like meditating, but I am learning that I want to make time for the important self-care activities so that I show up in my business as the high vibe person I want to be. Where do you find your inspiration? I find inspiration from other coaches and leaders in the world doing things that are similar to me. I listen to a bunch of podcasts that spark my creativity. I also find inspiration when I am working with my clients. Seeing women grow, change, become stronger and more of the person they want to be fuels my fire.

What are you most proud of ? Honestly, I am most proud of myself by being brave and taking the leap to run my own business and to become a coach. It would have been easy for me to stick with a profession that I knew well and that I was successful doing. I am really proud of myself for taking a leap of faith and saying yes to my heart. What are you looking forward to right now? I am looking forward to starting a new branch in my business for both mothers and pre-teen and teenage girls. I am excited to see how my business grows and expands over the next year.

What are you excited about right now? I am so excited about 2018 and the new packages I am incorporating into my business. I feel like in the past five months I have run into a lot of learning moments and I am excited to apply everything I’ve learned into how I want to run my coaching business as we go into the new year.

shineonlinemagazine

63


Seeing women grow, change, become stronger and more of the person they want to be fuels my fire.

Where would you like to be in 5 years’ time? In five years’ time I would like to be established in my coaching business and be considered a thought leader in my profession. I would like to have done a number of workshops and retreats. I really would like to have a book published. That has been one of my dreams for a long time.

What does success mean for you? Success to me means helping others to become a happier, more fulfilled, more inspired version of themselves. It means I have done work from my heart. Success also means that I run a productive and established business that serves others in a heart-centred way.

Katherine Phifer Katherine Phifer is a mindset, success and happiness coach for women, mothers and pre-teen/teenage girls. Marrying a twelve-year clinical acute crisis therapy career with coaching qualifications, Katherine helps her clients to lead, parent, connect and live in an inspired way.

64

shineonlinemagazine


shineonlinemagazine

65


Shine Magazine is sponsored by

and designed by White Deer Graphic Design

Profile for Fi Mims Photography

Shine Magazine Issue 4  

Shine Magazine Issue 4  

Advertisement