FIFTY5 the magazine redefining age
The Sandwich Generation
Aging Parents & Adult Children: Stuck In The Middle Self Care: What Do You Do? Daytripping To Woodstock, NY
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page 10 10 Diapers to Depends: Every weekday, 69-year-old retired teacher Renee Marbo of Richboro wakes up at 7:30 a.m. to begin her caregiving duties. By Debra Wallace 16 Take A Chance: Local Artist Lori Diamond Challenges You to Live Your Dream. By Debra Wallace
20 Becoming Untethered: How art helped me look at my future. By Julie Seyler 24 Whatâ€™s Your Rewirement plan? Natalie Kayeâ€™s friends call her an inspiration. Hearing her talk about her joy in life and her dedication to social causes makes this impossible to argue. By Kimberly Yavorski
The cover: The Sandwich Generation is a generation of people (usually in their 40's to 70's) who care for their aging parents while supporting their own children. According to the Pew Research Center, just over one of every eight Americans aged 40 to 70 is both raising a child and caring for a parent. (wikipedia) Our feature story is about a wonderful family coming out of retirement to raise their grandchildren and the hardships of starting over combined with the joys of being involved.
4 Issue 3.2019
ENTS page 46
Dave Loves this Photo! He just doesn’t know it :)
page 44 34 Outdoor Entertainment: Making time to enjoy the outdoors is a simple way to boost your physical and mental well-being. 36 Ready Set MOVE: Wanna know where the fountain of youth is? It’s closer than you think. By Lori Klein
44 Staying Fit No Matter What: Marriage, two children, divorce...through all the ups and downs of life, I found that having a fitness goal got me through. 46 Daytripping: On our maiden voyage with our new to us RV (we call her Miss Daisy) We visited Woodstock and Saugerties NY.
“I love my daughter, my granddaughter, and my mother more than words can say, but caregiving is hard,” Renee admits, “I know that I am part of the ‘sandwich generation,’ but often times this sandwich gets filled with so many different ingredients at the same time, that it’s easy to lose sight of the recipe.”
I invented a new word!
We hope you enjoy our third issue!
in this issue 14 Ask Yourself “What kind of self care enables me to be at my best?
18 #sharethedare Jodi Silverman shares her dares
28 Daydream Believer Micheal Lyons-living his best life
32 Finance Getting Back On Financial Track
39 Beauty Laughter Can Be Exercise
40 Aging Disgracefully My Skull is doing what?
50 Web Update Apps & Websites
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6 Issue 3.2019
For the brilliant moments in life.
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Dear Friends, Welcome to our THIRD issue of FIFTY5+ Magazine! It has been a little over a year since we started this project and it has been fabulous! We have met wonderful people, shared amazing stories and had awesome adventures. We have been overjoyed with all of the positive response and encouragement-Thank you! Thank you! As with all new ventures, there have been a few surprises. Since our first issue we have been averaging 3 new subscribers each day which is so exciting-THANK YOUthe surprise is that 85% of our subscribers have requested the digital version only. SOOOOOO-we have made the HUGE decision to go completely digital for this issue and will decide on an issue by issue basis which editions will be printed and which will be only digital. Initially I was a little sad but NOW see how much more we will be able to do! We will be sharing more stories, taking more photos and highlighting more events! We are working on a completely new website to make it your GO TO for all things FIFTY5+ and hope to see you all visiting often! Our new website will launch soon! Please like, follow and share us on social media! And let us know what you think!
Have an incredible day!
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
Do you hear about the new restaurant calle d Karma? There’s no men u: You get what yo u deserve.
What’s Next What’s next I asked when I received A retirement party for having achieved years of service helping a company acquire More successes each year than the prior I woke up the next day thrilled to slumber Past that early morning wake-up number But in short order what I assumed was good Didn’t work out to what I thought it would I felt adrift, couldn’t fill each day Until the magazine FIFTY5 came my way With inspirational tales about others’ regimes Who turned those “next years” into their dreams Now believe it or not, I secretly pray My story will be published here one day. By NanciLee Wydra
8 Issue 3.2019
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10 Issue 3.2019
By Debra Wallace
Depends ............. Every weekday, 69-year-old retired teacher Renee Marbo of Richboro wakes up at 7:30 a.m. to begin her caregiving duties for her adorable three-year-old granddaughter, while her daughter and son-in-law leave for work. When she and her husband, Barry, also age 69, are not feeding, caring for, or taking the toddler to preschool or camp, an exhausted Renee is bringing favorite foods like soup and other goodies to her 93-year-old mother at a Bucks County assisted living facility. Renee relishes this time to bond with the toddler and her elderly mother, but she also remembers when she retired in 2011 and she thought retirement would mean a few extra luxurious hours for herself and traveling to new destinations. “I love my daughter, my granddaughter, and my mother more than words can say, but caregiving is hard,” Renee admits. ” “I know that I am part of the ‘sandwich generation,’ but often times this sandwich gets filled with so many different ingredients at the same time, that it’s easy to lose sight of the recipe.” The Marbo family is certainly not alone. In fact, they are part of an ever-growing trend. It is estimated that at some point in their lives 25 percent of U.S. adults will be involved in elder care that is not tied to their profession.
A Pew Research Center study found almost half of all adults in their 40s and 50s have at least one parent age 65 or older, while also raising a young child or helping to financially support a child age 18 or older. The Sandwich Population is growing, as the number of people over the age of 65 is set to double over the next 25 years. With Baby Boomers increasingly moving into retirement age, and living longer, more middle-aged men and women will find themselves sandwiched between their children and their aging parents. The term ‘sandwich generation’ became so commonplace that it was added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary in 2006. However, the dictionary fails to mention the often heavy emotional and financial stress that being a part of this generation can often cause caregivers. The “traditional” sandwich generation usually refers to adults in their 40s or early 50s sandwiched between their adult children and elderly parents. The “club sandwich generation” was coined for older adults in their 50s or 60s who are wedged between aging parents and their adult children or grandchildren – exactly where Renee and Barry find themselves. 12 Issue 3.2019
Renee said that she and Barry, also a retired Philadelphia school teacher, volunteered to watch their grandchild because they didn’t want their daughter or son-in-law to give up their careers, or hire someone to watch the toddler. Adding her elderly mother, who has dementia, into the mix, has required extra time and patience, and certainly made these caregiving duties more complicated. But she and her husband have no regrets. “Regardless of any difficulties, this is something we wanted to handle and enjoy doing for as long as we can,” says Renee. “It is truly full circle watching her play with the same toys that once belonged to my two grown daughters.” Five years after caring for her mother, her granddaughter was born. Renee and Barry, often find themselves juggling many family responsibilities at once. But they also appreciate the precious memories they are making with their granddaughter; taking her to music class, Disney movies, and multi-generational family vacations to Disney World. The most difficult part of caregiving, she said, is the amount of time that babysitting requires. “As we are getting older, what seemed easier 30 years ago when our own daughters were young, is much harder today.” Having Barry, her husband of nearly 40 years at her side, makes the journey a lot easier, and they are a true caregiving team. If one of them is not feeling well, the other will step in. Barry says that often times he is so exhausted at the end of a long day, “I want to unwind, watch a little TV and get some sleep.” Although the Marbos are not complaining, experts say that caregivers often neglect their own needs because they are busy tending to others and can find themselves dealing with added stress, their own health issues, and even depression. Experts advise those in the sandwich generation to take time for their own health and wellness, amid modern-day caregiving.
Amy Tielemans, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Doylestown and Chalfont, says that caring for multi-generations is clearly exhausting. She advises caregivers not to overlook aspects of their own lives, including self-care, social relationships and their marriage.
Renee and Barry Marbo “What often happens is that people start to neglect their own needs, and this leads to them having issues of anxiety and depression,” explained Tielemans, who has 15 years of professional experience. “If you don’t care for yourself first, then you cannot take care of anyone else.” When it comes to self-care, she says that caregivers need to eat right, exercise, get enough sleep and make time for friends. “It doesn’t matter if it’s the idea of caring for children, parents, grandchildren, aunts or uncles, everyone needs to think about how we give and how we take,” Tielemans explained. “If we are not getting enough in our lives to fill up our own sense of self and pride, there is nothing left at the end of the day to give out.” Renee and Barry say that any challenges in their balancing act are definitely worth the benefits. “Watching our granddaughter learn to talk and walk, and being able to see the world through her curious eyes is a true gift; a treasured opportunity,” she says. “We feel lucky to be able to have a rich and loving family life, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.”
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OH, BY THE WAY... I AM NEVER TOO BUSY FOR YOUR REFERRALS www.fifty5magazine.com 13
Ask Yourself… Like many of us, I suppose, I never really understood what it meant to be in the middle of the sandwich until the moment I landed there. In the back of my mind, I clung to the fantasy that ‘this would never happen to me.’ Somehow, my parents were going to magically glide from a life of self-sufficiency to the end of life with grace, ease, and little drama. Two of my grandparents lived in another country so I wasn’t there for these later stages of life. One of my grandparents died when I was very young, and the last one did glide rather smoothly. My father, who passed away recently, was sick in a way that demanded our close attention for exactly one week. More recently, however, my mother - who I am very grateful to still have in my life - needed more support. She needed support after my father passed away. She needed support when she was hospitalized twice in another state. And she needed support making the transition between seasonal homes. All of this, as it happens, occurred at the same time that one of my children decided to move to another country and my youngest child was graduating high school.
In an instant, I was solidly IN THE MIDDLE of the sandwich. 14 Issue 3.2019
As it is for all of us, this time was demanding both emotionally and energetically. Someone needed something from me much of the time and I wanted to be there for everyone. I want to support my mother who I love dearly and I want to be there for my children’s transitions. And I knew that in order to do this, I would also have to take care of me. I turned to this question – again and again:
“What kind of self care enables me to be at my best? What do I need now?”
I know how incredibly hard it can be to take care of ourselves when others’ needs seem so acute and time consuming, but what I also know is that making sure we have our ‘oxygen mask’ on at all times is the only way to ensure that we can care well for the people we love for as long as they need us.
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Was this question helpful? To learn more about Courage to be Curious question card decks, visit: www.LiveLeadLoveCourageously.com. Adina Laver is Chief Curiosity and Founder of Courage to be Curious, a coaching and consulting company that teaches people and organizations how to be productively curious to attain more success and fulfillment. www.fifty5magazine.com 15
Local Artist Lori Diamond Challenges You to Live Your Dream By Debra Wallace Lori Diamond put her passion for art on the back burner when she became a mom and devoted herself to her three children, Dani, Morgan, and Michael, who had learning differences, requiring her extra time and attention. At age 55, the needs of her family calmed down and her art became a healing modality, a way to relax and create. She started designing customized sneakers, backpacks and other items, but for Diamond, it wasn’t enough. “It was important for me to leave a legacy,” explained Diamond, “and I knew I needed to make a difference and do something bigger.” When two years ago, a friend of hers told her about the nonprofit Designing 4 Hope, which provides magical-themed rooms for children with cancer, she wanted to be a part of a mission providing a bit of joy to those in need. 16 Issue 3.2019
Photo Credit: Connie Bell Dixon
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu “I had chills from my head to my toes,” Diamond says, “and I knew I had to do much, much more.” The next step for this nurturing woman was to create LoriDiamondArt and find a way to give back to others through her rekindled passion for art and design.
“To the world, you may be just one person,” she says quoting Dr. Seuss, “but to one person you may be the world.” Today, Diamond, now 59, is designing custom flip-flops for The Mermaid Store in Newport Beach, California, and 35 percent of the profits go to Designing4Hope. Her message for everyone at every age: “Never give up.”
Helping You Discover What's Next for Beauty, Personal Care, Fashion and Home.
She wants her story to be an inspiration so that no one ever gives up on his or her dreams. “There is always hope no matter how big your mission or journey seems. I devoted the first 30 years of my life to my children and the next 30 years I want to devote to inspiring others to follow their passion.”
For more information about of the wonderful things Lori is doing please visit her website! www.loridiamondart.com
215.579.1200 www.davidjwitchell.com www.fifty5magazine.com 17
ICE ICE BABY The Dare:
Would you sit in a 200-degree sauna and then submerge in a 35-degree ice bath? Learning to use our breath to brave the elements is exactly what 4 Daring Moms of The Moms Who Double Dare™ Community did and BOY did we learn about ourselves! Here is what Kim Kellenbenz had to share about our experience. Jodi: When you heard about a DareVenture™ that included using breath to brave the elements of hot and cold, what was your first thought? Kim: I didn’t know what to think or expect. But I said yes in the spirit of daring and to do something I knew nothing about. Jodi: How were you feeling prior to arriving at KORU Wellness Center? Kim: Curious, just curiosity.
Kim Kellenbenz (left) and Jo (in ice bath).
Jodi: We began sitting with Dayana working and learning on proper breathing techniques, was this something new and different for you? Kim: Yes, I found this part surprisingly nerve racking. I’m not someone to sit quietly and breathe, so it was challenging, however, I knew there was a benefit so I pushed through the nerves and would soon learn that proper breathing is vital.
18 Issue 3.2019
Jodi: We began in the 200-degree Sauna, how was that for you? Kim: I was very nervous as I donâ€™t do well in heat. Being hot, combined with a small space, makes me feel claustrophobic and I was worried about passing out. I started feeling a bit panicky and wanted to just run out of the Sauna, however, I began to focus on my breath as Dayana showed us and was able to stay in a bit longer than I had expected.
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Jodi: What was your first experience in the 35-degree water like? Kim: Because the heat makes me feel so claustrophobic I was welcoming the cold, however, I knew 33 degree water was going to be uncomfortable, I also began thinking of all the physical things that could happen, as I am a nurse by profession and I began to worry. I knew this was my fear and uncertainty and having the other women there for encouragement allowed me to push through the thoughts and enter the water. I started to enter the ice bath slowly, which was a mistake, as the cold water hitting my skin was a bit painful. Dayana, our coach, sat at the foot of the tub talking me through it, her guidance I was able to fully submerge and get my breathing under control to help stay in the bath for a minute. Once Dayana began coaching I knew I was going to be ok.
Jodi: How was it all the second time around? Kim: I was actually a little more excited for both the Sauna and the Ice Bath. Knowing I did it and survived, I felt proud of myself for being able to push my limits. I also noticed how good my body felt, it was as if I felt more alive. My goal for the second round was to stay in the ice bath a bit longer than the first time and I did!
-publishers note-This is me-I absolutely love my new eyebrows! It is so nice to wake up with eyebrows again!
Jodi: When all was over what was your biggest take away? Kim: It was an exhilarating and challenging and taught me just how powerful our minds are and the what the proper breathing and coaching, we can all endure and brave elements we never thought possible. Jodi: Would you do it again? Kim: YES. www.MomsWhoDare.com
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Untethered By Julie Seyler. Born 1955
In March I signed up to take a 6-week drawing class at the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan titled “Contemporary Drawing Studio: The Drawing Habit” taught by Sarah Grass*. The course description promised we would make a series of drawings and that appealed to me. I didn’t need to know the topic before hand but I did need a commitment to do the work assigned. In the first exercise we had to make a drawing around a word. The word I chose was FIGURATIVE and so this.
http://www.sva.edu/continuing-education/fine-arts/contemporary-drawing-studio-the-drawing-habit-19-cf-fic-2127-a 20 Issue 3.2019
Sarah told us we now had to title our drawing and my only option was to call it “Bloated Gramps with Saggy Boobs”.
Sarah’s next instruction was to keep going -what happens next?
In the next assignment we had to build on the first drawing and tell “Part 2” of the tale.
I didn't know except that I knew I felt trapped and wasn’t sure how to get out of the jail that I had put myself in.
I could see where this was going. I was going to be stuck with Gramps for the whole 6 weeks unless I got rid of him in my next drawing. I had to excise that overbearing glutton from my drawing/“life”!
So this drawing emerged: “She holds the key to get out of jail”.
Called “see ya Round Grampa”, she cut him out and celebrated with a martini!
And then I did a series of light sketches to keep trying to flesh out my ideas: Sarah saw the woman confined by heavy weights and suggested that in the next drawing she throw off the shackles. How would I/she be free? First she had to escape! Clearly I/she was running for dear life.
Clearly the drawings were telling me what I wantedFreedom from my incessant feelings of guilt AND Power to do my 60s with panache. And I meant business.
Since the class ended in late April, it seems the only thing I do is question my identity. I examine the fact that I could have been the Mom of each person in that classroom. When I started to paint seriously at the age of 40 - it was 1995. It felt to me that no one in that class, including my teacher, was even born in 1995. I was completely out of sync with their experience. I was a dowager governess amongst nymphs with an unbreakable faith in immortality. I pondered over and over again how OLD I must have sounded to them. But at that same time I was shocked -shocked that anyone could possibly view me as old. I have had an undying conviction in my ultimate youthful persona since forever. I am sooooo “young at heart”. Hmmm, perhaps true but that does not make me someone who is “young” anymore. I am not. And I don’t even think I’m middle aged anymore. I think I might have aged out of middle age.
"She means business!”
No more dilly dallying- take the bull by the horns!
"Look me in my eyes"
But nothing happened.
These trains of thought got me spinning on ageism and what it means to feel like I am no longer relevant or am soon to be irrelevant. Oh yeah I know that the 70s are the new 50s blah blah blah but there is an element to that mantra that I think is not only BS, but dangerous. The fact is I did my 50s and they were wonderful. I do not recall health issues dominating the conversation. At 59 I danced at my wedding with my same girlfriends who I danced with when I was 12. Both my parents, over 85, were healthy. And I started to think about what it really meant to leave the stage I’ve been residing on for the past 25 years —what I have dubbed “youthiness shadowed by middle-age”. What could I expect or look forward to? I don’t have kids so the grand kid route is off the table. I don’t have tons of money saved - so while I can live comfortably in retirement I can’t go on lots of exotic trips around the world to fill up the time. How was how I going to do my 60s and 70s and 80s and hopefully 90s with grace and dignity, compassion and passion? I was pretty sure I didn’t want to fritter away “now” thinking of back then and ruing the loss of my agility, flexibility and dewiness—ok that stuff has been leeching out for a bit but it seems more so these days.
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I was in a deep muddled vortex worrying over this next step. I carried soft-spoken envy like a velvet crutch - Iâ€™d see a young women strolling down Third Ave in an oversized creamy white t-shirt dress that just brushed her upper thighs with a pair of stacked sandals and think lucky YOUTH. She resides in the secret confidence that she will never get old. She eats too healthy and exercises every day. She will stem the tide of aging. Ha ha ha - that is what I always thought until I saw me through the eyes of someone who is not me and much younger. I think that class gently guided me to opening the door on my next act. By doing a drawing series from beginning to end about an alter ego who very much wants to break out of her self-imposed boundaries, I could explore the issue without psychoanalysis. The drawings told me what I needed to learn. I experienced the conscious transitioning of me to a new stage. She/me is here and present and is learning to relax into this next new new stage about being old old old!
One final word. I just want to say loud and clear Sarah is a great teacher. She came up with the most wonderful, inventive and original assignments and because of her commitment and passion the 6 weeks in her class was truly challenging and exciting. Thank you Sarah.
What’s Your ReWIREment Plan? by Kimberly Yavorski Natalie Kaye’s friends call her an inspiration. Hearing her talk about her joy in life and her dedication to social causes makes this impossible to argue. As a business owner and current or former member of many local nonprofits, this septuagenarian shows no signs of slowing down. The enthusiastic entrepreneur said, “When I retired, I told myself I wanted to make the rest of my life the best of my life.” The founder and president of On Demand! Programs and Events (a talent and event booking agency in southeastern PA) worked in sales and event planning for Fortune 500 companies before becoming coordinator of the Women’s Center at Bucks County Community College where she was in charge of programming and events. When the center closed, retirement seemed like a logical next step, but she missed the work. When a friend suggested she start her own business, her initial reaction was, “What! Are you crazy? I’m 68 years old.” She took the advice, but considered it more a hobby, something to keep 24 Issue 3.2019
“Make the most of every moment. Seize the opportunities. Take the risks. They’re worth it.” She adds, “I believe each of us has a purpose in life. When you are true to that purpose, then you overcome your fear. Take the risks aligned with your purpose.” herself busy. “I never thought I would develop it into a successful company,” she said. In fact, being an entrepreneur was never on her radar. ”I was frightened to start my own company. I didn’t think I had what it took. I didn’t really want the responsibility. I think what made me grow was my purpose.” While this purpose motivated her, she utilized the skills she acquired over the years. “All of the jobs that I had in my life, all the skills and talents I developed, brought me to [who I am] now: an entrepreneur,” she said. “I have to say that I have never, ever, been as fulfilled. It’s been rewarding on so many levels.” She especially enjoys scheduling programs in senior places, which she funds with grant money. “I loved working with people and wanted to do something positive with my life,” she said. “What could be better than bringing inspiring, enriching programs to people? It actually is a ministry for me now,” she adds. “I feel strongly about the effects of the programs I’m delivering, particularly with the Dementia Society of America, [where we] bring programs to dementia units. People come alive [though these] performances.” “One of the things I feel really strongly about is uniting people,” she said. “I try to bring peace and social justice to the world by providing speakers www.fifty5magazine.com 25
and programs that have that in common. “ Kaye says the mission of On Demand! is “to provide programs that inspire, enrich, inform and entertain and provide positive change.” She emphasized, “The people that I hire to deliver those kinds programs also feel that way. They are trying to make a difference in the world, to make the world a better place through what they offer.” While talking about her own “reWIREment” (as a friend of hers calls it) she offers advice to others facing this stage: Look at what brings joy, what makes you feel alive. Look for those things you do where you lose all track of time because you’re “in the moment. “ Fill your life with joy and learning and live it as fully as you can. She says, “Make the most of every moment. Seize the opportunities. Take the risks. They’re worth it.” She adds, “I believe each of us has a purpose in life. When you are true to that purpose, then you overcome your fear. Take the risks aligned with your purpose.” “I feel that what I’m doing and the joy that I fell is contributing to my well-being. I’ve never been happier. That’s why I feel it’s so important to bring these programs to people in retirement communities. It keeps them alive. It keeps them connected.” Her hopes for the future include growing the company. She’d like to work with local schools and more libraries. Her goal? “To be the resource for unforgettable programs.” 26 Issue 3.2019
“I loved working with people and wanted to do something positive with my life,” she said. “What could be better than bringing inspiring, enriching programs to people? It actually is a ministry for me now,”
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Michael J. Lyons is finally living the life he daydreamed about for decades. His story is proof that youâ€™re never too old to pursue your passion. 28 Issue 3.2019
In 2014 at the age of 63 Michael Lyons made a risky decision to retire from his position managing a hospitality industry trade show and become an entrepreneur. Today, he is a successful motivational speaker, professional actor, consultant, and author of the acclaimed book “Set Yourself Free…Daydream It, Believe It, Achieve It”. Feeling free and empowered after making his lifechanging decision, Lyons now encourages others to pursue their daydreams - whatever they may be. “Set Yourself Free is about how to create greater opportunities in your life while removing obstacles, excuses and the paralysis of fear. Once you take charge of your life and empower yourself to make the right choices, you can achieve the things you want”. In his book, Lyons mixes stories of his failures and successes with anecdotes of famous people who overcame struggles and hardships to succeed and lists practical steps on how to accomplish goals. He challenges people to look inward and reflect on their life/career goals – regardless of age - and assess where they stand in relation to achieving them.
Lyons’ message is simple and clear: If you are not happy doing what you are doing, do something about it. He concedes that can be scary and clearly there is some risk involved. But once you conquer the little internal ‘No’ voice that holds you back from accomplishing the things you want to achieve, the feeling is indescribable. “Life is short and you only get one”, he says. Five years after his life-changing decision, Lyons is now a motivational speaker. He delivers a variety of inspirational talks across the U.S. to audiences of all ages. Each has a separate theme, but his main message is always weaved into the discussion: “Pursue your passion and never give up on your daydreams. Stay focused and positive, and chances are you’ll achieve your goals and, in the process, live a longer and happier life.”
At 68 years young, Lyons is living proof that you’re never too old, nor is it ever too late, to do what you love. “I subscribe to the Nike gospel of Just Do It”, he says. “Never give up on your daydreams. Stay focused and positive, and chances are you’ll achieve your goals and, in the process, live a longer, healthier and happier life”. His successful career transition has yielded another positive benefit: his health. “I was a highstress individual whose blood-pressure was above normal, but now I am a relaxed, healthy individual who eats better, works out each day and enjoys life at a pace that I control.” A resident of suburban Philadelphia, Mike has been married to his lovely wife Lorie since 1974. They have three grown children Michael Jr., Erin and Aimee - and are the proud grandparents of 7 children between the ages of 12 and 6. For more information on Mike, please go to www.lyonsspeaker.com or www.michaeljlyons.com 30 Issue 3.2019
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Has Gen X Been Abandoned? Getting This Generation on Financial Track By: Dave Geibel, Managing Director, Girard, a Univest Wealth Division
Millennials and baby boomers dominate headlines. As the two largest generations in history, itâ€™s no wonder these demographics have taken center stage for financial advice. There is no shortage of articles offering advice on how to pay down student loans or tackle rising healthcare expenses in retirement. However, Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1980) is often overlooked as it is sandwiched between boomers and millennials. Studies show that Gen X has woefully undersaved for retirement and has more credit card and overall debt than any other generation. Now is a critical time for Gen Xers as they are likely in their highest earning-potential years. As a Gen Xer, I understand how it feels to be pulled in different directions. I see many clients and friends who are also facing financial obstacles unique to Gen X.
Yes, we want to help our kids pay for college. Yes, many of our adult children are asking for financial support. Yes, we want to ensure our aging parents get the best care possible. However, we canâ€™t allow all of this to take precedent of our own financial well-being and preparation for retirement. Your children can take out student loans, or opt to attend a less expensive college. Your parents may have to 32 Issue 3.2019
downsize or adjust their spending habits so they don’t outlive their savings. The bottom line is you can’t take out a loan for your retirement income. As you evaluate your finances for the year, reconsider how you can bolster your retirement funds. At the same time, have frequent conversations with your teenage children, adult children and parents if their life situations may be impacting your finances. It’s critical that everyone in the family unit have open and honest conversations about plans. This can help ensure everyone is on the same page and minimize last-minute financial decisions that can veer everyone off track.
Understanding the alphabet soup of age As of 2019, the breakdown by age looks like this: Baby Boomers: Baby boomers were born between 1944 and 1964. They're current between 55-75 years old (76 million in U.S.) Gen X: Gen X was born between 1965 - 1979 and are currently between 40-54 years old (82 million people in U.S.) Gen Y: Gen Y, or Millennials, were born between 1980 and 1994. They are currently between 25-39 years old. Gen Y.1 = 25-29 years old (31 million people in U.S.)
If you are feeling financial pressure as a Gen Xer and want to help the generations on either side of you, have an open conversation with your financial advisor. He or she can help determine to what extent you are able to be a financial support system for your loved ones.
Gen Z: Gen Z is the newest generation to be named and were born between 1995 and 2015. They are currently between 4-24 years old (nearly 74 million in U.S.)
If you’re looking for guidance or assistance in meeting your financial goals, the advisors at Girard, a Univest Wealth Division, are here to help. Contact us to have a conversation about the plan for your financial future.
It’s critical that everyone in the family unit have open and honest conversations about plans.
Gen Y.2 = 29-39 (42 million people in U.S.)
Girard is a marketing name used by Univest Financial Corporation to provide (1) investment and wealth management, fiduciary services and trust services through its subsidiary Univest Bank and Trust Co., (2) specific fiduciary and investment advisory services through Girard Advisory Services, LLC (3) securities products, insurance products and brokerage services through Girard Investment Services, LLC, a registered broker-dealer and member of FINRA and SIPC, and a licensed insurance agency, and (4) investment management and related products and services for Pennsylvania municipal entities through Girard Pension Services, LLC. Investment products and services are not FDIC insured, not a bank deposit, not bank guaranteed, not insured by any federal government agency and are subject to risks, including possible loss of any principal amount invested.
Seek Outdoor Entertainment for Personal Satisfaction
Making time to enjoy the outdoors is a simple way to boost your physical and mental well-being, no matter your age. Whether you venture out to the porch to watch the sunset or lace up your golf shoes for an afternoon on the course, there are plenty of ways you can take in some fresh air. Going outside generally results in more physical activity than if you were to stay cooped up inside, and itâ€™s an easy way to socialize and interact with others. It also plays an important part in maintaining your vibrancy. 34 Issue 3.2019
GET INSPIRED TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME OUTSIDE WITH THESE IDEAS: TAKE UP A HOBBY. Planting a garden or tending a flower bed is terrific motivation to spend more time outdoors, and you’ll have the bounty of your work to enjoy, as well. Even a box garden designed for a smaller space requires regular care, so you’ll find yourself outdoors on a consistent basis nurturing plants to grow.
TAKE IN A PERFORMANCE. Outdoor theaters offer numerous forms of entertainment from music concerts to plays. Before shopping for tickets, be sure to consider any discounts you might be able to use. For example, AARP members can find discounts on tickets for a wide range of events.
INCREASE YOUR EXERCISE. Even if you have some physical limits, keeping your muscles stretched helps maintain mobility. That might mean taking a walk or playing a round of golf. You could gather
family or neighbors for a game of croquet or just move outdoors to do your daily stretches. Find a way to blend your daily exercise with the chance to get some fresh air for maximum benefits.
GO ON A TRIP. The sights and sounds
when the weather is less than ideal. You could opt to spend your wait time outdoors, or reward yourself after a walk with a special seafood, Italian or steak dinner. You might even pair the meal with a concert or a show for a truly enjoyable evening away from home.
that go along with exploring somewhere new make it easy to enjoy spending time Get creative when you think about outside. Be sure to make plans for enterhow you’ll make more time to tainment while you’re on the road, and spend outdoors and remember that rather than driving home in the dark or when you’re tired, consider making a resources exist to assist with hotel reservation through the AARP Travel planning and saving money Center. You might even consider organizalong the way! ing a weekend getaway with a partner or friend who shares your interest in discov- Publishers Note-As a former Girl Scout Leader, I am k out the ering a new destination. always looking for fun FREE events! Chec the local
ENJOY A MEAL OUT. Dining al fresco is a treat when the weather cooperates, but you can incorporate a delicious meal as a bonus when you’re out and about even
visit local library for free tickets to museums, is a great visitors bureau for discounts and groupon your area in do to s thing fun e ensiv inexp find place to of! think dn’t that you normally woul Learn more at aarp.org/memberbenefits. Photo courtesy of Getty Images #14825 Source: AARP Services, Inc. (Family Features)
! y m h o marketing, media & events... from inspiration to realization www.mmeohmy.com www.fifty5magazine.com 35
Psssttttâ€¦ HEY, YOU!
By Lori Klein
36 Issue 3.2019
Yes, you! Wanna know where the fountain of youth is? It’s closer than you think. Look in the mirror. That’s right. It’s within you. (How convenient is that?!) It’s true. You hold the key. And all it takes is getting moving. Mobility increases the production of fluid that lubricates joints and makes moving feel better.
But where do you start?
Ready. Set. Move. From All Starting Points. Many of us have a few things going on with our bodies that make the idea “jumping into a fitness class” or “jumping” period, a terrifying notion. There are many ways to get a daily sweat that will work to strengthen your beautiful body at all fitness levels.
PLAYING WITH TOYS If you’ve ever experienced physical therapy, you no doubt did a few gentle, controlled exercises working to restore strength, range of motion and balance to your body. The facility probably had some colorful toys like balls and resistance bands. Recumbent bicycles. Treadmills. The beauty of all of these is that you can work with them to get moving, gain confidence in your body’s ability to move, and start your journey from there. You can buy a lot of these items at a local sporting goods store or on Amazon. Maybe ask your doc, physical therapist or trainer at the YMCA or gym for some recommendations. www.fifty5magazine.com 37
GETTING JIGGY AT HOME At home, try stepping up using the bottom step of a staircase (holding the railing if you need to insure balance). Start by putting on some music that makes you feel like moving. Donna Summer? Bruce Springsteen? Hard to sit still with them in the room. Step up slowly and firmly plant your right foot down first, then your left. Then return to your starting position, still leading with your right foot. Do this 10 times. Then repeat leading with your left foot first. When you begin to gain strength, try a lighter grip on the railing engaging your core muscles (stomach, gluteal muscles, back) by focusing on holding them all strong like a tree trunk for stability. Eventually, let go of the railing (itâ€™s still there if you need to grab it!) and let your body stabilize you. Maybe pick up the pace a little. As you get really strong, let your arms in on the fun and pump them as you go. Before you know it, you will be breaking a sweat and getting your blood flowing. 38 Issue 3.2019
WORKING WITH A PRO One of my favorite fitness options is Pilates because it truly is for everybody. It was created during WWII by Joseph Pilates when he was trying to help hospitalized soldiers regain strength with limited equipment available other than the beds they were in. It later became a favorite with dancers in New York and has grown in popularity ever since. There is a Pilates Chair workout where the entire session takes place in a special chair with pedals and options to use resistance while you safely sit and get stronger. (And yes, you will work up a healthy sweat!) Pilates reformer machines look like torture machines, but a workout on one of those will keep your body supported while improving flexibility, alignment and increasing strength. Pilates also works your body from your toes upward, and unlike so much of our daily activity, it works us safely through all of our body’s ranges of motion including rotation (side-to-side motion) and flexion (backward leaning motion) making us stronger, more agile, and better able to physically respond to the un- expected things that come at us in our daily lives. Plus, it’s fun and you feel like you are floating through space without ever leaving the platform.
It feels good to move. And it’s good for you. Wherever you are right now in your body is a great starting point. Whether you start with squeezing a resistance ball, or something much more ambitious, give your body the gift of movement.
YES. LAUGHTER CAN BE EXERCISE. Following a blockage and stint installation in her neck, my then 83-year old friend Helen expressed interest in trying yoga. I brought her to a class at the local YMCA. We rolled out our mats and relaxed into the slow music. We tilted our heads left. Then right. We raised our arms above our heads, focused on our inhales and exhales. All was going well. Then downward dog happened. Everyone in the class bent into the somewhat famous upside down “V” that is a downward dog. Everyone except Helen, that is. Helen began to giggle. And giggle and giggle. The teacher smiled patiently. Helen continued to giggle. Which made me giggle. Eventually, I had to take her out of there, because the giggles had overcome both of us. When I asked Helen what in the world was so funny, she said “I looked around and all these butts were up in the air. It was the funniest things I’ve ever seen!” Indeed. So Helen and I left after what was an excellent abdominal workout, because our stomach muscles hurt after that beautiful giggle session. Helen Lane was born in Tennessee in 1930. She spent some time in Washington DC working as a young woman before marrying the love of her life, Chuck Lane in 1957. Helen and Chuck had a son and daughter, Jeffrey Scott and Lisa. Helen was known for her great cooking (no one does biscuits and sausage gravy like Helen did. No. One.) Her warmth, infectious laughter and devotion to her family were legendary. Helen passed away at 88 last summer. She is missed every day, but her joyful spirit definitely lives on. www.fifty5magazine.com 39
My skull is doing I remember the dark day in high school when Mrs. Atterton (name changed to protect the innocent) shared her early morning beauty routine trauma with us. She explained that as we age our skulls shrink, and as a result, our faces (skin, muscles) no longer fit. She said that as she leaned over her tilted vanity mirror to apply her daily war paint, everything slid forward. GASP! Kill us all now. At the time, Mrs. A was probably not yet 40, and we were all teens. (In other words 40 was ANCIENT). Fast forward to today as I approach double nickels (55 saves lives, right?). My skull is indeed doing what it does, as is the rest of me. Muscles begin to atrophy. I am now 5’7” rather than 5’8”. It’s HAPPENING. 40 Issue 3.2019
i Kle r o L y
I have found a few tricks along the way, and have to admit, I often get mistaken for someone a good bit younger. (Although I truly believe that has more to do with my overall outlook and energy. I’m a bit of a goofy dorkus and still pretty playful which people associate with younger humans.)
Here’s some of what I have learned and practice on the regular: 1. Exercise It’s true. Break a sweat every day if you can. I don’t care how. It makes your blood move around and your body’s cells get food, nutrients and oxygen that way.
2. Build Muscle We start to lose it and it definitely helps fill out our skin if we continue to build it. Work with a trainer if that helps. Get some nutritional guidance so you are eating the right combination of protein +c arbs + fat at the right time post-exercise to benefit from all your hard work.
3. Find an AWESOME Nurse Injector and Don’t Shun the Needle Fillers, botox, radio frequency treatments, lasers. There are a lot of options out there to build collagen in your face (and neck. Don’t forget your neck! And hands!) Fillers are really good for filling out some of the space our shrinking skulls left behind, making your skin fit more like it used to. I fought this option for a long time, trying creams and a lot of other things. Once I tried filler, I was sold. I look a little more like me when I look in the mirror. (Hello, old friend!) It’s not about looking “young.” It’s about feeling like you in your skin.
4. Go to Sleep (without your phone or iPad) 7-9 hours a day if at all possible. Go to bed at a consistent time with a nice pre-bed routine. Bubble bath. Book. Copy of Fifty5+. Keep the room cool (68 is said to be prime for getting a deep sleep). It works wonders. See bullet #5 for more ideas. Talk to your doctor if none of this is working for you. Sleep is really important.
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5. Have Sex Or to be specific, have orgasms. Alone or with a partner. Don’t care how you get there. (See bullet 1 for why. If you need a reason.)
6. Use Really Good Skin Care and Use it Regularly I started using a medical-grade line about 5 years ago and it removed all the sun damage and hyperpigmentation (those pesky brown spots we all get). The bright, clear skin left behind is pretty fresh and dewy if I do say so myself. If this is important to you, make the investment and use it faithfully. And use your darn sunscreen. Aging and skin cancer comes from cumulative exposure. I put it on every day. (And I use sunless tanner because I grew up imprinted with images of Christie Brinkley and Farrah Fawcett beauty ideals, so I still like the way I look with a little “tan” best.)
7. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. I don’t know if it does anything for your face but it feels good and you only die once - so live and enjoy each day!
Staying Fit No Matter What! I was a pretty sick little girl....appendicitis, tonsillitis, rheumatic fever. Even my feet were in bad shape and I had to wear orthopedic shoes, which my siblings had a great deal of fun with!! My grade school teachers would tell my Mom I was so quiet and just sat in the playground at recess. As I remember it, those years were pretty tough. Growing up, getting healthy and when I could take some control over myself and my health, I kept moving and got involved in a lot of activities. My Mom would always say that grass would never grow under my feet (whatever that meant) and she called me a Banty Rooster. In looking up the meaning I now see a Banty Rooster is a smaller, more aggressive rooster! I was small, in fact, due to the antibiotics and drugs I had to take as a sick little girl (my own analysis). I would not consider myself aggressive, but perhaps my Mom saw this in me as I was determined to stay healthy and fit. Marriage, two children, divorce...through all the ups and downs of life, I found that having a fitness goal got me through. It kept me feeling good about myself, kept me healthy and provided the healthy endorphins that are proven to bring about feelings of euphoria and well being while reducing stress. 44 Issue 3.2019
I tried jogging, then experienced the women’s fitness centers...Elaine Powers, where Danskin leotards and pink tights were all the rage, Lucille Roberts, Curves....all these figure salons were the start of the fitness craze in the 80’s and 90’s. There were also a myriad of TV shows that you could watch. I vividly remember when I was divorced and raising my two kids in the early 80’s I would get up at 5:00 a.m. and exercise in my living room to
kinds of music, this was a treat when I could get out to a Jazzercise class. Jazzercise began in 1969 and still exists today! But then I found ZUMBA!!!! Jump to the year 2001, when ZUMBA began in the United States. An amazing man, Beto Perez, from Cali, Columbia, came to the United States, found a couple of business partners and ZUMBA came alive. Beto continues to be the “face”
new choreography and bring exciting hour-long workouts to my students. There’s a reason 15 million people take Zumba classes each week. It’s an environment of inclusion, all ages, all sizes and it only takes a couple of classes before the participant becomes hooked! If you’re not having fun, you won’t come back to a class. I will celebrate my 5th anniversary this year as a ZUMBA instructor. I also took
I wish I could meet Joannie Greggains to say Thank You for helping me through a difficult time in my life. Joanie Greggains who had a great show called Morning Stretch and Aerobic Shape Up. This “boost” each morning gave me the energy to work a full time job and deal with the daily challenges of raising two young children. Looking back, I think I tried every form of fitness there was...from stand alone fitness centers, to TV programs, yoga, to home equipment such as the Nordic Track, to learning how to use strength building machines in my local gym But most fun was a Jazzercise class, which combined exercising and basic choreography to great music. Since I love to dance and especially love all
of ZUMBA and is the key figure on many of the videos and marketing materials. Taking a ZUMBA class at my local gym was a eureka moment. Loving music as I do, dance as I do and especially Latin songs and dance, made this the perfect next step for my fitness goals. I could not get enough....several classes a week and finally, a decision to become an Instructor. While I specialize in ZUMBA GOLD, a specific certification for teaching active older adults, I continue to take regular ZUMBA classes several times a week in order to keep fresh, learn
a 3-day certification class in NYC for Chair Yoga which introduces a modified yoga practice while sitting on a chair.
I never thought that in my late 60’s after retiring from my corporate job that I would find a second career in fitness that would bring me such joy and well being!
#getupgetout Dyann Paoline lives in Ocean City, NJ and Philadelphia. www.fifty5magazine.com 45
WOODSTOCK & SAUGERTIES, NY As a very reluctant vegetarian, I have to say Woodstock is a wonderland of options for me. So many cool cafes and restaurants along the main street.
Where were you on August 15th 1969? If you were wandering around the adorable town of woodstock wondering where the music was...you were about 60 miles off. I may have been the only person alive that did not know that the original concert was actually held on a farm in Bethel, NY about an 1 and a half away. But no matter because Woodstock stands on its own as an amazing destination. Nestled in the catskills mountains, woodstock is another one of those locations where I go-damn-what took me so long to visit?! Woodstock has so many cool interesting shops, beautiful creative art, funky fabulous restaurants and WOW the scenary is absolutely breathtaking!
46 Issue 3.2019
Make sure you visit one of the coolest hardware stores on the east coast! They have everything and if you need a suggestion for something to do, just ask! http://www.hhoust.com
subscribe to our YouTube channel FIFTY5 Magazine to watch our daytripping videos!
As we wandered around town we came across an outdoor market where I think all old hippies go to die. Mowerâ€™s Flea Market is open every Saturday and Sunday. Lots of hemp and tie dye. An absolute must see and you definitely can find some wonderful treasures!
Founded in 2000 as a grassroots arts organization driven by the sheer love of film and community, the Woodstock Film Festival has grown into one of the premiere independent film festivals in the US, bringing together thousands of filmmakers and film lovers over the years. We will celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Woodstock Film Festival in the fall of 2019. Also marking the 50th anniversary of the legendary Woodstock Festival, as well as the 100th anniversary of Woodstock as Americaâ€™s oldest colony of the arts. https://woodstockfilmfestival.org
For more information contact the chamber! https://www.woodstockchamber.com www.fifty5magazine.com 47
Overlook Mountain, Woodstock NY The trail was straight up for 3 miles and then the fire tower! The views were amazing and absolutely worth the hike. As we climbed up, people warned us of a rattlesnake ahead-we heard it before we saw it (it sounds just like a rattle!)
There is a park ranger at the top with a cooler of water, cookies & dog biscuits. Super Nice! Bring some cash for a donation-we didn’t have any but I took a cookie anyway :) The Saugerties Lighthouse is an 1869 landmark on the Hudson River that stands proudly as a Living Museum and a renowned Bed & Breakfast. The path to the lighthouse is a wooden walkway that during high tide is underwater so they (I don’t know who “they” are) leave you boots to borrow-Very Neat! https://www.saugertieslighthouse.com
48 Issue 3.2019
Trade the corner office for a catamaran.
Meet Girard. Retirement planning that can help put your goals within reach. Talk to an independent wealth advisor about creating your customized financial planning and investment strategy.
MeetGirard.com Investment advisory services are offered through Girard Advisory Services, LLC. Securities and insurance products are offered through Girard Investment Services, LLC., member FINRA and SIPC and a licensed insurance agency. Trust services are offered through Univest Bank and Trust Co. These affiliated companies are licensed subsidiaries of Univest Financial Corporation. Products and services offered are not FDIC insured, are not a deposit of or bank guaranteed, not insured by any federal government agency and are subject to risks, including possible loss of any principal amount invested.
Who We Think We Are or want to be! Dana Kurtbek - age 53 adventure seeker & reluctant vegetarian
Dave Schroeter - age 52
rv owner & guitar player
Lori Klein - age 54 weird & inspired writer
Adina Laver- age 50 curious & courageous contributor
NanciLee Wydra - age 76
www.silvernest.com At Silvernest, we’re creating the next generation of roommates. A more modern kind. A well-matched kind. A kind that’s just your style.The result? Extra income and an expanded community, with support every step of the way. After all, this is your house. Silvernest just helps you put the “us” in it.
Jodi Silverman - age 52 daring columnist
Debra Wallace - age 60 caring & tenacious writer
Kimberly Yavorski - age 52 inquisitive & persistent writer
Julie Seyler - age 63 perceptive & inquisitive wordsmith
Opinions expressed in editorial submissions contributed to FIFTY5+ Magazine are those of the individual authors exclusively and do not represent the opinions of FIFTY5+ Magazine, its staff, its advertisers or its readership. FIFTY5+ Magazine assumes no liability or responsibility for independently contributed editorial submissions or any typographical errors, mistakes, misprints, or missing information within advertising copy. FIFTY5+ Magazine (1) Assumes no liability for claims arising from misleading advertisements. (2) Reserves the right to refuse any advertising we feel is not within the standards of this publication. (3) Shall not be liable for failure to publish or distribute all or any part of any issue due to labor disputes, strikes, accidents, malfunctions, fires, theft, acts of God or any circumstances beyond the publisher's control. FIFTY5+ Magazine is published by MME Media LLC. % 609.647.4723 166 South Main Street New Hope Pa 18938 Copyright © 2019 MME Media LLC All rights reserved. firstname.lastname@example.org www.fifty5magazine.com
50 Issue 3.2019
www.agingparentsmanagement.com Aging Parents Management and Aging Parents Marketplace are here to help you on this journey with your aging parent or loved one.
www.seniorliving.org Compassionate and caring, our experts search high and low for the best resources to help seniors live with independence and dignity. We then provide honest and unbiased reviews and rankings. Because it’s time we take the guesswork out of aging.
www.gogograndparent.com GoGo turns on demand transportation companies like Lyft and Uber into services that can be accessed and monitored without a smartphone.
www.microsoft.com/enable/aging/tips.aspx The Microsoft Guide offers a number of ways in which older adults can maximize their computer experience. The website deals with screen resolution, text size, color, speech recognition and shortcuts. Once you’re done exploring, you will be able to personalize your computer screen to fit your needs.
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