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Family Community Church 478 Piercy Rd San Jose CA 95138




Something For Everyone! Check Out Details Inside Men’s Ministry ............................Pg 3 Singles Ministry...............................4 Business & Leadership................... 4 DivorceCare.....................................4 Young Adults...................................4 Jr High & High School.....................5 Children’s Ministry..........................6 Women’s Ministry............................7 Moms Groups..................................7 Marriage Ministry...........................8 Celebrate Recovery.........................9

Join Us for a Service This Weekend!

Enjoy uplifting music in all of our services, from kids to teens to adults!

FCC is conveniently located at the gateway to the Silver Creek Area & Evergreen Valley, right off Highways 85 and 101! 478 Piercy Rd, San Jose CA 95138 408-365-0313

www .FCC church . com Find us on Facebook!

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Watch services & download our music on iTunes

Weekend Services: Saturdays @ 5 pm, Sundays @ 9:00 & 10:45 am Spirit Newspaper • Fall .2013 • A quarterly publication • Issue #108 • Published by Family Community Church 478 Piercy Rd, San Jose CA 95138 • Editor: Danielle Brown • Photos: John Stalker, Gina Rodriguez, Lauren Laing, Danielle Brown

A Community Service of


A Quarterly Publication of Family Community Church Fall 2013


From Dating... to a Full House! We started attending FCC at the end of 2001. It’s hard to believe that was over 11 years ago! In the time we have been at FCC, we’ve gone from dating, to married, to parents of 3 children, ages 2-7. We also are expecting the 4th and final addition to our family in February 2014!

I (Sara) also enjoy serving in the Women’s Ministries; whether setting a table for the Women’s Tea or leading a group in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). This year I’m looking forward to a continuation

What first attracted us to FCC was the Biblical teachings, the vulnerability and relatability of the staff, and the ministries provided. The Children’s Department offers programs like AWANA clubs, KidzBlitz, and Family Movie Nights, where the kids not only learn about Jesus, but they have fun as well. Daniel’s favorite part about his classroom is the slide/ball pit. Wesley’s is the arcade games.

In addition to serving in the Food Court,

You Can Change for the Better! Detroit. It’s been all over the news. A once great city was described recently by Chris Stirewalt, “A place where nearly half of the streetlights don’t work anymore, the violent crime rate is higher than any other major city and the average police response time is one hour. The city has lost 26 percent of its population since 2000. Much of Detroit is simply falling apart and being reclaimed by the natural

By John & Sara Stalker

My (John) involvement with the media department began with an invitation from Pastor Todd Brown back in 2004. He asked me his now-legendary question, “Do you sing, dance, or play an instrument?” While I was classically trained in piano, he was more interested in my involvement with video. At the time FCC was looking for a consistent video resource to help promote events, so I was brought onboard as a part-time staff member. The past 9 years have been amazingly eventful in the media department, the team has grown by leaps and bounds, and it has been an adventure to continually reanalyze the most effective ways to minister with media. I have long maintained that it isn’t enough to make “cool” projects (the artist’s tendency), but that the end product must support the vision and mission of the church. Now as a full-time staff member I look forward to working with a new generation of people eager to make Christ known through their artistic and technical talents.

The kids also enjoy participating in the community outreaches like collecting blankets for Salvation Army, and filling shoeboxes with school supplies/toys for Operation Christmas Child. We love that it helps them get involved in serving others both locally and abroad. Through the years we have held a variety of positions from leading a small group to serving in the Food Court (Sara), to joining the staff part-time in 2004, and becoming the full-time Media and IT Pastor in the Spring of 2013 (John).

FCC celebrates our 30th Anniversary! (pg 8)

John, Sara, Wesley, Daniel, and Isabella Stalker of MOPS called MomsNext, a group for mothers of school-aged children. It’s a time where Moms can come together to have brunch, fellowship, and gain valuable encouragement and support (see page 7). world. The Motor City is becoming the domain of raccoons and coyotes…” People with influence and power made decisions with destructive consequences in Detroit. You and I make choices too. And every day, the decisions we make determine the demise or birth of potential in our lives. FCC’s next sermon series, Soul Detox, explores the role a person’s behavior plays in making us better or broken (see page 3). It’s not about a list of do’s and don’ts but a close examination of what influences and emotions you are allowing to pollute your mind, will, and emotions. Everything we allow into our lives – everything that we spend our

Check out what you’ll find at FCC!

I am also excited to announce our newly constructed TV/Film stage, which we call “Studio FCC.” It is a state-of-the-art filming stage that will support the demand of our increasing media efforts at FCC, and will also be available as a resource to the local business community. Check it out at! time and money on – has an impact on how we grow, or don’t grow, spiritually. Garbage in, garbage out. Whether you are just getting out of high school or college and entering the work force, single or married, this will be a practical and engaging experience exploring God’s will for this area of your life. You can change for the better… come learn how! Bill Buchholz Founding & Senior Pastor Family Community Church

INSPIRING MUSIC Compelling worship times in all of our services, from kids to adults!

ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS Classes designed for kids of all ages, plus fun special events!

FAMILY MINISTRIES Ministries for Men, Women, Parents, Singles, & More!

SERVICE PROJECTS Opportunities to serve locally and in other parts of the country! Youth Summer Missions Trip - pg 5 Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 1

God is Not Your Grandpa

Weekend Services

By Pastor David Tieche


recently became a grandfather. It happened last month, at my daughter’s 6th birthday party. Now, before you go thinking I should go start a reality show on TLC with Honey Boo Boo, let me explain. Last month, my parents gave my daughter a very generous birthday gift. They got her “Kit” – a doll from the vast Doll Empire known as “The American Girl Doll.” It’s a whole Doll Ecosystem, with movies and books and magazines and accessories. It’s astonishing in both its vastness and its commercialism. Kit has blonde, curly hair (just like my daughter) and bright blue eyes (just like my daughter). And Kit cost $139. No. That’s not a typo. Of course, my daughter loves it. She dresses her up, and puts her to bed. Very cute. But still. $139!

Come visit this weekend! That’s grandparents. Which is why kids love ‘em.

as just as ignorant as I do looking back at myself when I was 25.

But. If you just think about it for a second, there’s no way that’s what God is like.


Imagine, for a second, if God’s role was to be a grandfather. What if God viewed his job as simply to give you what you want? 
 Think about the things you wanted when you were 8 years old. My son, who is 8, came up to me the other day and asked me for some ninja throwing knives. He promised he’d only throw them at our Japanese plum tree outside. He promised he wouldn’t throw them at his sister. Later, he asked me how much a flamethrower cost. And if they sell that at OSH.

When I found out the price, I asked my mom if she was crazy. My mom said, “Well, it’s the job of grandparents to spoil their grandkids.”

So it is.

My mom is right. It is the job of grandparents to spoil their kids.

What do grandfathers do? They spoil their kids. The kids want a giant ice cream sundae at 4:30 pm? Sure thing! The kids want to jump off the roof and pretend to be a pterodactyl? Go ahead! Grandma’s house is fun! Sometimes, I think grandparents do it on purpose. You come home after date night, and walk in and one of your kids is hanging from the blinds. Another is covered in glitter. They’re all sugared up and hopped up on Disney, and you’re thinking, “It’s 10 o’clock at night! What are they doing awake, let alone gnawing on a lollipop that is roughly the circumference of a dinner plate.” And the grandparents just grin and say, “They’re all yours.” It’s like some sort of sick payback. Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 2

Saturday Worship Service

5:00 PM in the Cafe with childcare for ages 18 months - 11 years old

Traditions Service

Sunday @ 9:00 AM in the Chapel with traditional hymns & choruses FCC is a non-denominational Christian church open to everyone! For more information, we invite you to visit our web site at

It’s constant. Parents, at least good ones I’ve seen, are actually incredibly demanding of their children. 

Now, I have been a pastor for a while now, and I get a chance to observe the spiritual beliefs of hundreds of people. And most people I meet believe, deep in their core, that God (at His core) is mostly like a Grandfather.

We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven—a senile benevolence who, as they say, “liked to see young people enjoying themselves.”

Now, a few thoughts about the difference between parents and grandparents. As a parent of young children myself, I realize just how demanding parents are of their children.

9:00 & 10:45 AM In FCC’s Main Auditorium 9:00 AM: Classes for Nursery - Grade 4 10:45 AM: Classes for Nursery - Sr High

Don’t do that. Put that down. Come over here. Stop that, right now.


C.S. Lewis observed this too, and once wrote in his book “The Problem of Pain” -

What if God isn’t like a Grandfather? What if He’s like a Father. In fact, Jesus is very clear and insistent on this point. Jesus says, in one of his most famous speeches called the Sermon on the Mount, that when you pray, you start the prayer by calling God “Father.” 
Jesus is clear, this is the beginning and basis of prayer. God is not a set of rules, or a philosophical abstraction or an omniscient distant deity. He’s Father. In fact, the word Jesus purposely uses is “Abba,” which translates better into “Daddy.”

Sunday Worship Services

Jaelle and my new “granddaughter” Kit The point is, what my son thinks will make him happy would end up killing him and likely destroying our neighbor’s house. But it’s not just 8 year olds. Imagine if you had gotten *everything* you really wanted when you were 15. I would be driving a Ferrari and married to Mariah Carey with a pet Tiger while living in a Shack. Five of you got that reference to the childhood game M.A.S.H. Good for you. The point is, I was foolish when I was 15. And so were you. But going further. Imagine if you got everything you really wanted when you were 25. (Some of you young people are getting uncomfortable). But my mentors (all of whom are awesome older men) tell that when I’m 50, I’ll look back at my current self and think of myself

Why? Because we love our kids. And, ideally, we don’t want to be overly permissive or overly authoritarian. Why? Because we want to make sure our kids don’t turn into selfish, impish brats. (insert Kardashian joke here) What if God is the same way? What if the only way we can be happy is to allow God to be lovingly authoritative. What if the role of God is Father, and His most earnest desire is to remove all our character imperfections? What if this is love in its truest form?

 As a father, I love my two children with about as forceful and honest a love as I can possibly have. And when my kids purposely do things that are destructive and selfish, I get completely bent out of shape. My love will not rest and will not be content until those character defects are worked out of them. 

And to say, “Well, you need to love your children anyway and just forget about those things” is foolish. It’s like saying, “Well, your son has a giant tumor that will kill him but » Continued, PG. 10

Watch Our Services Online! Archived Services and iTunes Podcast Visit FCC Archived Service Videos: Browse through recent services to enjoy worship music and a relevant message from a recent series. FCC iTunes Podcasts: Want to listen to our sermons while on the go? Subscribe to our iTunes podcast! Facebook Page: Check out photos from FCC events and watch the “FCC Download,” our video announcements!



TO LIFE?” If you could ask God one question, what would you ask?

Weekend Sermon Series: September 1 - October 6 As standards of conduct continue to erode in our shock-proof world, we must fight the soul pollution threatening our health, our faith, and our witness to others. Without even knowing it, people willingly inhale second-hand toxins poisoning their relationship with God and stunting their spiritual growth. Our upcoming weekend message series Soul Detox examines the toxins that assault us daily including: toxic influences, toxic emotions, and toxic behaviors. This series, based on a book by Craig Groeschel, will shed light on relationships, thoughts, and behaviors that quietly compromise our wellbeing. The messages will provide inspiration and encouragement for a faith-filled lifestyle that will keep you free of spiritual toxins. More than an educated,

insightful look at the negative aspects of our day-to-day culture, this gracebased experience challenges you out of complacency and into a life of clean, pure, and focused living based on the standard of God’s holiness. • Lethal Language: Experiencing the Power of Life-Giving Words • Scare Pollution: Unlocking the Chokehold of Fear • Radioactive Relationships: Loving Unhealthy People without Getting Sick • Septic Thoughts: Overcoming Our False Beliefs • Germ Warfare: Cleansing Our Lives of Cultural Toxins Join us at one of our 3 weekend service times: Saturday @ 5 PM, or Sunday @ 9:00 & 10:45 AM!

THE ALPHA COURSE explore the meaning of life

THE ALPHA COURSE Free 6 Week Course - Includes Dinner! Thursdays @ 7:00-8:30 PM, September 5 - October 10 Alpha is a safe place to ask about God, Jesus, the Bible, and more! Alpha is for everyone, open to people from all backgrounds, religions, and viewpoints. You are invited to come investigate questions about the existence of God, the purpose of life, the afterlife, the claims of Jesus, and more. Each evening begins with dinner together. Then there is a short talk which looks at a different aspect of the Christian faith each week. This is followed by

a time of discussion in small groups. Everyone is welcome to contribute their opinions and no question is considered hostile or too simple. Topics include: • • • • • •

Is there more to life than this? Who is Jesus? Why did he die? Why and how do I pray? Why & how should I read the Bible? How does God guide us? What about the church?

Register at - Children’s programs available

Believing in God ... but living as if He doesn’t exist

Kingdom Man

Weekend Sermon Series: October 13 - November 10 Are you putting your whole faith in God … but living as if everything is up to you? Does your belief in God impact your life? If the answer is no, you may be a Christian Atheist. A Christian Atheist is someone who believes in God, but lives like He doesn’t exist--you believe in God, but worry all the time, or you believe in God, but trust money more. This series will lead us on a journey toward an authentic, God-honoring life. Become more than “Christian in name” through this eye-opening look into ways you can surrender to God, living every day depending on the Holy Spirit. Discover a powerful, intimate relationship with God for yourself and you’ll never be the same.

Message topics include: •

When you Believe in God But Don’t Really Know Him

When You Believe in God But Don’t Think He’s Fair

When You Believe in God But Aren’t Sure He Loves You

When You Believe in God But Trust More in Money

When You Believe in God But Pursue Happiness At Any Cost

When You Believe in God But Don’t Want to Go Overboard

Every Man’s Destiny, Every Woman’s Dream Men’s Bible Study DVD series by Dr. Tony Evans

Thursdays @ 7:00 PM, October 17 - November 21 Our culture has redefined manhood by emasculating men through a repositioning of the role. Men are portrayed as weak, selfserving, and unfocused. The Bible clearly communicates that man was created to exercise dominion over the various areas of his life, taking responsibility for himself and others entrusted to his care. When a man functions within the principles of biblical manhood, those around him benefit from his leadership and care. This study challenges and equips men to fully understand their position under God, learning to operate under the

authority of Jesus Christ. This powerful 6 week series will: •

Examine what it means to be a Kingdom man in the world today

Motivate men to accept their roles and responsibilities as leaders in God’s kingdom

Show men how to identify the spheres of influence that God has entrusted to them

Suggest practical ways to advance God’s kingdom at home, at church, and in the world

Cost is $20, includes workbook. For more information about Men’s Ministries, and to register for this study, visit Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 3

For Young Adults ages 18-37

Weekly Service on Tuesdays @ 7:00 PM If you’re single and over 35, be sure to check out our Singles Ministry! We get together for fun activities, game nights, outdoor hikes, Bible studies, and holiday dances. Join us for lunch after the Sunday 10:45 AM service each week. Come on out to our next event! It’s a great place to have fun and build relationships. Bunco Night - Saturday, September 14 @ 6:00-9:00 PM Costume Dance - Saturday, November 2 @ 6:00-10:30 PM in Stage3 Thanksgiving Potluck - Saturday, November 30 @ 5:00-8:00 PM Singles Bible Studies - Meet in homes and at FCC during the week: • •

Thursdays @ 7:00 PM at FCC (2nd, 3rd, & 4th weeks of the month) 1st Thursday of the month @ 7:00 PM at City Espresso, Blossom Hill Rd

Visit or email for more information, or stop by the Singles Kiosk in FCC’s Lobby after Sunday services!

Encounter has been on fire! In the last 3 months we have had 125 people come to know the love and grace of Jesus Christ. 3 months ago the ministry started out with 20 people, and now every Tuesday night we have over 100 people who are showing up to worship God. We invite you to come to our Young Adults ministry to grow, and to encounter Jesus. As a church we believe that when you get to know Jesus He is almost irresistible. As far as the dynamic worship, lights, media, fellowship, and powerful word, it all comes together to make a great young adults group.

SUNDAY LUNCH - The first Sunday of each month, after the 10:45 service!

DivorceCare is a special weekly seminar and support group for people who are separated or divorced. It’s a place where you can be around people who understand what you are feeling. Join us and find valuable information and support to help you to heal from the hurt of divorce.

Thursdays @ 7:00-8:30 PM, September 26 - December 19 Cost is $15 for workbook. Childcare programs available - see web site for info.

Register at or 408-365-0313

Biblical Business Training The Biblical Business Training group helps men & women professionals learn how to apply our faith and Biblical principles at work. We invite you to join us for breakfast twice a month and connect in an informal, supportive environment!

Every other Monday @ 7:00-8:00 AM

In FCC’s Lobby Cafe - Coffee served, plus optional Breakfast @ 6:30 AM ($5) For upcoming dates, visit - Events/Info - FCC Calendar Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 4

Chase Wiggins

Young Adults Pastor CWiggins@

Elevate: Events for ages 27-37 “LINKED UP” - Every Sunday @ 10:0010:45 AM in Room 255 at FCC Join us to watch a video and discuss relevant professional & personal issues.

Divorce Hurts... Find help at DivorceCare

When you walk into our doors I can promise you that you will be loved by God and loved by people. So wherever you are at on your journey with God, come to our group and feel the love of Jesus that saves, transforms, and changes our lives.

Visit us online for more event details: RSVP for events and/or send questions to

Enemies of the Heart 6 week class offered on Thursdays @ 7:00-8:30 PM September 5 - October 10 Breaking free from the destructive power of guilt, anger, greed, & jealousy Divorce. Job loss. Estrangement from family members. Broken friendships. The difficult circumstances you are dealing with today are likely being fed by one of four emotional forces that compels you to act in undesirable ways, sometimes even against your will. In this 6 week DVD study, Pastor Andy Stanley explores each of these destructive forces—guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy—and how they infiltrate your life and damage your relationships.

He says that, left unchallenged, they have the power to destroy your home, your career, and your friendships. In Enemies of the Heart, Andy offers practical, biblical direction to help you fight back, to take charge of those feelings that mysteriously control you, and to restore your broken relationships. Class is led by Mindy Scratch, FCC’s Recovery Pastor. Cost is $20.

Register at

What We Learned in the Desert Stage3’s Summer Missions Trip to Navajo Nation


magine a place where the sky is actually the color of the Sky Blue Crayon that you grew up coloring with. A place where there are no strict schedules to follow, where no one is mad at you if you are five minutes late. A place where people show you grace when you make a mistake. A place where there are no stoplights, sirens or office phones ringing. A place where there is time to have fun with people you love. A place where hard work is the norm, and people enjoy working hard. More specifically, a place where teenagers work hard and are happy about it. Many people would say, “That sort of place sounds great, but it just doesn’t exist.” Parents might think, “Nice try. I’d love to send my teenager there, but that’s not possible.” But I’m thankful that I can tell those people that this place does exist. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. For the last three years, FCC’s Stage3 Youth Ministry has sent a group to serve with Next Step Ministries in Crownpoint, New Mexico for a week in July, and I have had the privilege of helping to lead this group. This year, we took our biggest group yet, 53 teenagers and 22 adults. Seventy five people willingly took nine days away from the comfort of their home and family, away from their summer, to go to the middle of the desert and work. Now you may be thinking, “What you described doesn’t sound like much of a burden. Who wouldn’t want to go there?” But the reality of this place is that while all those things I said are true, that is only part of the story. As we drove into Crownpoint that first Sunday night, I was reminded of why we had come to this place. Crownpoint is in the middle of the Navajo Nation Indian Reservation, the largest Indian Reservation in the U.S. The area is plagued with extreme poverty. As we drove in, we saw tiny, run-down homes, with cars parked out front, evidence that people do still live there. We saw an abandoned diner, its broken windows boarded up. Stray dogs ran alongside us in the street. Children with ripped clothes

and shoes played together with a torn up soccer ball. This was the reality we were driving into. This is why we had come. We knew that we could help. Before coming, we had worked together to raise money for building supplies. Armed with the expertise of a few, our little army joined efforts to put a new roof on a house, dig a hole to lay a foundation for an extension on a home that was too small, and put new tile on a kitchen floor that was previously just dirt. We came to work hard and really make a difference in the Navajo people’s lives. We thought we knew what to expect. What we weren’t ready for was how God was going to move in our lives while we were in New Mexico, and even more importantly, how God was going to change us as we came back home to California and to FCC. Beyond just learning how to work hard and sacrifice their own comfort on behalf of someone else, the students have been gripped with a passion to live their lives boldly, sharing God’s love with the people around them. They have brought this passion back to Stage3, and it’s spreading like wildfire throughout the group. Even though things are drastically different here in the Bay Area, Stage3 continues to hold onto the things that we learned while we were in the desert. This means that students are given the opportunity to serve others and work hard, showing compassion to people who don’t have as much as they have. We encourage students to rely on God fully, put their trust in Him and have faith that He is working in their lives. We do this through creative services designed especially for youth, volunteer opportunities, and small group connections. Our doors are open wide to all students, so come visit! We can’t wait to meet you. Ashley Danberger Youth Ministry Associate ADanberger@

Jr. High & High School students Sundays @ 10:45 AM & Thursdays @ 7:00 PM Stage3 is Family Community Church’s ministry for 7th graders all the way through 12th grade. We’re super excited about what’s happening in our group and hope that you can come and jump in. If you’re wondering about us, we basically have two main goals.


We strive to make Stage3 as much fun as legally and ethically possible. If there’s one thing we believe, it’s that a life (or a youth group) that has God will NOT be boring. Our ministry is set up to make sure that students will be able to develop actual friendships with other students and have a ton of fun while they are at it.

without any prompting and without any promise of ice cream or cash. “Stage3 is fun, cool, crazy, loud, and exciting. You never want to go home!” Gaby Moreno, 15 “Stage3 is a youth group that I go to that is like you are hanging out with your friends, but is chill because you are learning about God and stuff.” Jessica Rodriguez, 16 “Stage3 is a place where you can chill and be yourself and hang out with your friends, who are normal people. Amazing worship, good sermons and fun, young leaders.” Josiah Liardon, 17

“It’s a place where we are able to create There’s a lot of information out there. Not an environment that is welcoming and all of it is worth your time. At Stage3, we’re friendly where the students aren’t afraid committed to passionate Biblical teaching to worship God.” Colton Farrar, Leader that’s helpful. We’ll address actual issues you’re actually facing, and show you in creative, dynamic ways how the message Dave Tieche of the Bible and Jesus can help you in your Youth & life where you are right now. Teaching Pastor DTieche@ WHAT STUDENTS SAY: I asked four people to finish the sentence “Stage3 is…” This is what they said,


AREA56 Group designed for 5th & 6th graders! Sundays @ 10:45 AM in FCC’s Cafe Area56 offers a dynamic, engaging service especially for 5th & 6th graders, designed to help them learn life skills “God’s way” while engaging with their peers. We understand that the tween years can be a difficult time of peer pressure, discovering who you are and growing up. Our group helps students navigate through these years with confidence in who God says we are, while preparing them for the next step of development into their teenage years. We teach them how to study the Bible and train them to be leaders .... and have a ton of fun together in the process! For more information, contact Pastor Matthew Trujillo at 408-365-0313 or Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 5

Bible Club

for ages 2 - Grade 6 Thursdays @ 7:00-8:30 PM September 5 - May 15

Teaching Kids to Know & Love God’s Word! Awana is an international Bible club that helps churches and parents work together to develop spiritually strong children! Our weekly meetings include Bible lessons, games, and Scripture memorization. Bring your kids for fun & games, Bible teaching in small groups, and awards and prizes! We offer Awana programs for various ages:

Children’s Ministry Sunday Services @ 9:00 & 10:45 AM: Nursery through Grade 4 Saturday Service @ 5:00 PM: Childcare for 18 months - Grade 5 During our weekend church services, classes are offered for kids of all ages! Your child will enjoy teaching and activities created especially for them. We offer exciting music, games, and Bible teaching that reinforce what Kidzplanet is all about - children knowing they are loved by God and growing in a relationship with Jesus. In the main room (grades 1-4), kids enjoy jump houses, arcade games, foosball, air hockey, board games, and exciting weekly competitions. Our goal is that kids have FUN coming to Kidzplanet and LOVE to hear the word of God and want to tell others about what they have learned!

Individual nursery through preschool rooms provide hands on activities, music, and an interactive Bible lesson. Early childhood classes for 2, 3, and 4 year olds include jumphouse or playground time. All children receive TONZ of tender care from qualified and trained volunteers. All applicants go through an extensive interview and background check process for the safety of your children. Our Children’s Ministry also plans special events beyond Sunday mornings. These events are family focused, outrageous, and guaranteed to be memory making events you don’t want to miss!

Puggles (2 year olds) recognizes the learning ability of toddlers by introducing biblical precepts and equipping parents to teach them at home.

Cubbies (3 to 5 year olds) celebrates the spiritual potential of preschoolers by helping them develop respect for God, His Son, and His Word.

Sparks (K - 2nd grade) ignites the curiosity of early elementary age kids to learn about the people and events of the Bible, building a foundation of wisdom for knowing Christ.

Truth & Training (3rd-6th grade) engages upper elementary age kids by answering their questions about God and the Bible, guiding them through this pivotal life stage to grow in Christ’s grace (boys and girls meet separately).

Ice Cream Social Parent Orientation

Saturday, August 31 in Kidzplanet Auditorium

3:30-4:00 PM Puggles/Cubbies Welcome and Ice Cream Social 4:00-4:30 PM Puggles Parent Orientation 4:00-5:00 PM Cubbies Parent Orientation 4:30-5:00 PM Sparks/T&T Welcome and Ice Cream Social (Grades K-6) 5:00-6:00 PM Sparks/T&T Parent & Clubber Orientation 6:00-6:30 PM “Leader in Training” Parent/Clubber Meeting (5th/6th graders)

Pre-register at or 408-365-0313 (Fees apply)

Fall Fest Movie Night Saturday, October 26 @ 3:30-8:00 PM Join us for an evening of fun for the entire family! Games, prizes, face painting, “trunk or treating”, crafts, and more! Family friendly costumes welcome (please no violent or inappropriately suggestive costumes). Cost $5/person, $15 max per family.

Location information and Registration at

KIDS CLUB After School Program Stipe Elementary -Tuesdays Oakridge Elementary - Thursdays FCC is privileged to sponsor a faith based after-school program at two schools in south San Jose. Kids Club is a free, after-school program designed to teach positive life skills to children through games, music, and Bible discussions. Through Kids Club, FCC is able to help kids build relationships, find out who God is, and learn how much He loves them. Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 6

DISCIPLESHIP CLASS Sundays @ 9:00 AM September 22 - October 27 Is your child asking questions about God? Prayer? The Bible? This course will help them dig deeper and learn about these topics, as well as salvation, commitment, prayer, and faith. This class is for students in grades 3-6. Email PastorStephanie@FCCchurch. com to register.

Fear vs Faith Factor Friday, September 20 @ 7:00-9:00 PM

In Kidzplanet Auditorium Kidzplanet (grades 3-4) vs. Area56 ministry (grades 5-6) Come join us for an evening of exotic never before eaten “foods,” jaw-dropping physical challenges, and mind-bending games as we compete in our 1st Annual Kidzplanet vs. Area56 Fear Factor Challenge! There will be tons of surprises and lots of laughs along the way. Families are welcome, but events are for 3rd-6th grade only. Remember, do not dress to impress because you WILL get dirty!

Moms Groups with Childcare! Starting September 4!

For moms who have an infant through Kindergartner

Women’s Fall Bible Studies The Sacred Echo:

Hearing God’s Voice In Every Area of My Life Thursdays @ 7:00 PM, October 17 - November 21 DVD series by Margaret Feinberg ‘Don’t Listen For the Voice of God. Listen for His Echo.’ When God really wants to get your attention, he doesn’t just say something once. He echoes. He speaks through a sermon, a chance conversation with a friend the next day, even a random email. The same theme, idea, impression, or lesson will repeat itself in surprising and unexpected ways until you realize that maybe, just maybe, God is at work.

New Group! For moms who have school-age kids 1st & 3rd Wednesdays @ 9:30-11:30 AM, September - May Register at In addition to our MOPS group, we are excited to add a new MOMSnext group, a group for moms of school-age kids! MOPS and MOMSnext are open, accepting groups for moms to come just as you are, to experience authentic community, personal growth, practical help and spiritual hope. Our meetings twice a month include brunch, fun and encouraging conversation with friends, and inspiring speakers on topics for moms and women. You’ll make great friends and receive practical support as a mom all at the same time!

MOPS topics feature:

Childcare is offered for 9 months through Kindergarten (infants can stay with moms). If you have children in both age ranges, choose the group that most interests you!

How to Get Organized and Stay Motivated

Positive Discipline 21 Ways to Connect With Your Kids Parenting Your Powerful Child School Readiness MOMSnext topics feature: Media & Technology for Kids Responsibility: Chores & More! Working With Your Child’s Teacher Siblings Without Rivalry Both groups will hear about:

Breaking Baditude: Cultivating Thankfulness Controlling Your Emotions

According to author Margaret Feinberg, the sacred echo reminds us to pay close attention -- something important may be going on here. The sacred echo challenges us to prayerfully consider how God is at work in our life as well as in the lives of those around us. Filmed on location in the Rocky Mountains, The Sacred Echo DVD Bible Study takes viewers on a journey to explore prayer and hear God’s voice not just as a whisper but as an echo. The study is designed to help us recognize God’s leading and walk more confidently in the fullness of all he has for us. Cost is $20, includes workbook. For childcare information, see web site.

Beth Moore’s “Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit”

Fridays @ 9:00-11:00 AM, September 6 - November 15 Join us for this in-depth Bible study of the fruit of the Holy Spirit as presented in the book of Galatians. Beth will walk through each trait listed in the fruit and encourage women to know the freedom of a Spirit-filled life. Through this study, take a closer look at the supernatural aspects of the fruit, and you’ll find that you cannot grow, learn, or produce the fruit on your own. Beth challenges you to develop the fruit by maintaining an intimate relationship with the Spirit of God. A Spirit-filled life truly results in living beyond yourself. Cost is $25, includes member workbook.

Register at or call 408-365-0313

Coffee Talk

Operation Christmas Child

With special guest speaker Dr. Kay Llovio, William Jessup University

The power of a simple gift Operation Christmas Child provides a practical way for everyone to share the joy of Christmas with children living in countries ravaged by war, famine, extreme poverty, or natural disaster. Anyone can participate in this simple project by packing a shoe box with personal gifts to be sent to a child overseas. Operation Christmas Child is an annual project of Samaritan’s Purse, a Christian relief and evangelism organization.

Box Collection at FCC: November 13-24

Shoe boxes can be filled with a variety of items such as school supplies, basic hygiene items, toys such as cars, yo-yo’s, etch-a-sketch, small dolls, and more. Instructional brochures will be available at FCC starting in October and can be found at or by calling 1-800-353-5949.

Saturday, October 5 9:00-11:00 AM For women of all ages!

COFFEE TALK is a friendly casual place where women can connect with one another while being inspired and encouraged. You’ll enjoy hearing from our guest speaker and enjoy honest conversation along with a healthy dose of laughter and fun. On top of that you’ll also enjoy a light breakfast and Starbucks coffee. Come be encouraged to deepen your friendships with others and God!

Cost is $5 through Friday, October 4 @ Noon. Cost $7 at the door. Register at or 408-365-0313 Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 7

My Introverted Husband, His Extroverted Wife

By Missy Takano


e knew what we were getting into. Sort of. Many older couples gave us that knowing smile and cautioned us with something like, “Marriage isn’t all easy, you know. There’s a lot of hard work involved.” We soldiered on in our engagement, tackling some great questions in premarital counseling sessions, fairly well informed that married life would be full of adjustments and compromise.

starts with conversation. Interaction. . hris walks in the door and smiles at me. C He heads to our room to change, and I wait. After ten minutes or so with no sign of him, I investigate. He’s flopped onto our bed, shoes kicked off, reading the news. Naturally, I am deeply wounded. The news? He’s reading the news? DOESN’T HE LOVE ME?!

As a man and a woman committing to one It’s laughable now, but that was really another, it seemed obvious there would how I felt as a new bride! So eager was I be big differences. Hurdles to overcome. to interact, clearly I’d take offense when With our unique personalities, families, he didn’t share that feeling. It was many and cultural backgrounds, we tried to frustrating conversations later that I prepare ourselves for life together by learned that his reading-the-news routine looking at the expectations we brought to was not, in fact, a reflection of his deep love a marriage relationship. But even with all for me (or a lack thereof). I didn’t fully that preparation, we had no idea how hard understand it, but it had something to do it would be to overcome with unwinding so that the challenges of Even with all of our preparation, he could then interact my husband’s high with me meaningfully. we had no idea how hard introversion and my To me, “unwind” meant it would be to overcome intense extroversion. the challenges of my husband’s “talk.” To him, that was the last possible thing high introversion and To simplify, introverts that “unwind” could my intense extroversion. are folks who “recharge” ever mean. by being alone. They aren’t loners, but they’re perfectly content From the start of our dating relationship, to spend a large portion of their time in Chris was greatly attracted to my outgoing solitude. These are the people who are nature. He loved that I was exuberant happiest spending a whole day quietly about almost everything in life – the highs fishing with not a soul around. Extroverts were high, the lows were low, and I felt are the opposite. We recharge by social strongly about it all. I had more opinions interaction. This isn’t to say we can’t enjoy than I had time to talk about, but that alone time, but too much of it and we feel didn’t stop me from trying. bored, restless, and drained. If I’m going to spend a day fishing, it’s going to be an Chris is a really funny guy, and has won excursion of several people, and the main me over with laughter more times than I event will be that we talk and eat snacks can count. I knew that he was naturally on and have fun together. the quieter side, but while we were dating, I never really noticed. He’d hang out with .Those are extreme examples, obviously, my friends, my family, or just me alone. and most everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum between the two. But for It didn’t occur to me that this man us, those extremes weren’t far from truth. was using up the entirety of his social And we quickly grew frustrated. interaction for the day on the hour or two that we’d spend together. He didn’t Example: Chris and I both had a full think much of it, either. He was falling workday and are arriving home about in love (and who could blame him?) and an hour apart. I’m eager to tell him all the whole point of being together was to about my day – the students that had a talk, to get to know each other, to share breakthrough in our tutoring sessions, the our lives. parents who ranted at me or thanked me, the crazy thing I saw on the drive home. .The thing was, when we got married, our It’s all spinning around in my head and I lives merged completely. There was no can’t wait to spit it out, talk about it, and more space for him to seek solitude and let it go so I can have a relaxing evening. My recharge routine after a tiring day » Continued, PG. 11 Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 8

Better Together Marriage Ministry

Fun get togethers for couples

New Marriage Classes coming in January! Couples Moonlight Train Ride - Saturday, September 14 @ 6-10:30 PM At Roaring Camp in Felton. Enjoy a romantic evening of fun and relaxation at Roaring Camp’s Moonlight Train Ride and Dinner Party. Start with a hearty BBQ steak dinner by moonlight, followed by a leisurely train ride aboard vintage railway cars. The steam train stops atop Bear Mountain to enjoy a glowing campfire, hot cider, and a sing-along. Upon returning, eat some hot apple pie and enjoy a live band and dancing! All this for only $98 per couple. Reservations are required and may sell out, so make your reservation by calling Roaring Camp at 831-335-4484. Be sure to tell them you’re with FCC’s Better Together Group.

Elkhorn Slough Kayaking - Saturday, October 12 @ 9:30 AM - 1:30 PM

A professionally guided excursion in double-kayaks into Elkhorn Slough National Marine Estuary. This is a great time of year for seeing otters, seal lions, harbor seals and an array of birds at close range in their natural habitat. Meet at 9:30 AM in Moss Landing and return at 1:30 PM. Cost: $50/pp.

For more information, and to sign up for our event Evites, visit our web page at

FCC Summer Highlights FCC celebrated 30 years of ministry this June with an all church outdoor service. During the service, we honored Pastor Bill and Melody Buchholz, our founding pastors. More photos of the service at

Stage3 Youth Ministry sent 75 people on a missions trip to Navajo Nation (pg 5)

Our very own Todd Brown Band led worship at the Spirit West Coast Music Festival in Monterey in August! More photos at toddbrownband

Men’s Ministries hosted their 1st Annual Car Show & Chili Cook Off this July! Next up for Men’s Ministries, a new 6 week Bible study called “Kingdom Man,”starting on Thursday nights in October (pg 3).

God did for me what I could not do for myself

Celebrate Recovery 12 Step Program to help overcome hurts, habits, & hang-ups

Every Friday @ 7:00 PM at FCC

Everyone is welcome! Childcare available through grade 5 At Celebrate Recovery, you will find a safe and welcoming place to find help with your past hurts or any habits and hang-ups that are holding you back. Together we work through and apply God’s healing power in our lives through the Bible based “8 Recovery Principles.”

These principles have helped people all over the world become free from addictive, compulsive & dysfunctional behaviors. This freedom creates peace, serenity, joy and most importantly, a stronger relationship with God & others.

Friday Night Schedule:

7:00-8:00: General Large Group Meeting 8:00-9:00: Small Groups / Newcomers 101 9:00-10:00: Fellowship Time - A chance to get to know people from our group, meet new friends, and connect with accountability partners and sponsors. Each Friday, everyone meets together at our General Large Group Meeting for worship, teaching of one of the recovery steps or a personal testimony. Small Groups are facilitated by Celebrate Recovery Leaders who have been through recovery themselves. Small groups are a safe place to open up about life struggles and celebrate the victories God is giving us. We offer groups for: • • • • • • • • •

Men’s Alcohol & Chemical Dependency Men’s Lust & Sexual Addiction Men’s Young Adults General (ages 17-27) Codependency & General Issues (Men’s & Women’s groups) Anger & Control Issues (Men’s & Women’s groups) Women’s Sexual / Physical / Emotional Abuse Women’s Anxiety & Depression Coaddicted/Codependent Women in relationship w/ sexually addicted men Newcomers Group for all first time attendees

“My life is the most peaceful and healthiest it has ever been.” ~ Cassandra Williamson After surviving what felt like the hardest eight months of my life, I walked through the doors of Celebrate Recovery at FCC on February 22, 2004. I grew up in a Christian home that was what I viewed as “normal.” I attended church from the day I was born and became a Christian when I was five. I’d become professional at wearing a smile and pretending things were good, even though that was not how I really felt inside. When I was three, my biological father abandoned my 27 year old Mom, leaving her with four kids ranging from the ages of one to six. When my Mom remarried, life took a whole new drastic turn. My new Dad was a dry-drunk, which means he didn’t drink anymore but he had so much rage and anger, my home was physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. My parents fought a lot and I honestly didn’t know how to handle the chaos. My siblings and I started taking our frustrations out on each other and this led to much hurt feelings and even injuries. I started a new school after my parents married and was teased by my peers on a daily basis. Rejection and depression were a regular part of my life. During this time frame I unfortunately experienced abuse as well. I didn’t know how to handle this and starting in fourth grade, I started picking up multiple addictions. The first addiction I embraced was overeating, which eventually led to dealing with eating disorders. I used these and other addictions as an avoidance of any real relationships. As I got older, I stayed as busy as I could just to avoid my feelings. I looked happy on the outside and I was plugged into all the “right” things, such as church leadership, school activities, and academics.

Child of Mercy

Concert & Chili Cook Off at Celebrate Recovery Friday, September 27

Dinner @ 6:00-7:30, Concert @ 7:45-8:45 PM Everyone is invited! Free concert - Dinner only $5/person!

Childcare available through grade 5 Questions? Contact Mindy Scratch at

After college ended, I spiraled out of control. When I was growing up I was a people pleaser to the max. I didn’t want anyone else to leave my life like my father did so I tried to always please and fix my Dad and make him happy, a pretty much impossible task. This followed into all my close relationships and unfortunately - yet fortunately - is what caused my life to fall apart. In January of 2004, a relationship with a close friend fell apart. She put herself in rehab and informed me that I was codependent. Needless to say I was mad

at her for saying that, but I was willing to secretly read a book about it and guess what...she was right! I went on Google and typed in “codependent help groups San Jose” and Celebrate Recovery at FCC popped up and I emailed the director Mindy Scratch. She encouraged me to come check it out, and I’m so thankful for her encouragement. My first night at CR I walked in a broken, angry, hard hearted, and hurting little girl. I wouldn’t let anyone close to my heart but I was welcomed and embraced anyway. I call myself a tough case because I was so controlling, manipulative, and passive aggressive. People just kept loving me anyway and I didn’t even know it. I wasn’t able to feel or accept it. I had no freedom. Finally God did for me what I could not do for myself. Through the love and support of my CR family and God’s grace, love and forgiveness, I have finally found true freedom. I have found so much healing and have some of the most amazing relationships that I’ve ever had today. I’m real and what you see is what you get. I have worked my Twelve Steps several times and God has healed me far beyond what I ever could have imagined. I have been able to forgive anyone who has wronged me and when God opens doors, I apologize to anyone that I have wronged. The most important thing to me personally is that God is the Dad that I’ve always wanted, and today I feel and accept His love and am able to pass it on to the people in my life. I’m far from perfect and I’m okay with that because today my life is the most peaceful and healthiest it has ever been. I celebrate recovery in all my areas of addiction and take it all one day at a time. I now serve in the church choir and am regularly involved with CR and Young Adults Ministry. God took a broken, angry, hard hearted, and hurting little girl and has turned her into a whole, loved, tender beautiful woman. I am so thankful and have the most amazing forever family. Celebrate Recovery is a safe place to come and lay down your hurts, habits and hangups. You will find support, freedom and love. No one is perfect there but despite our imperfections we will love and accept you to the best of our ability and let God do the rest! Come join us on Friday nights!!! Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 9

“Prime Time” Seniors Connections for Seniors age 55 and up! Monthly Potluck Fellowship

Second Thursday of every month @ Noon in FCC’s Cafe. Bring a dish to share. Enjoy fellowship with friends and hear from a guest speaker.

Traditions Service in the Chapel: Sundays @ 9:00 AM

Weekend service option for those who prefer traditional hymns & worship choruses. Live music in the Chapel and the same message from Pastor Bill via video from the Main Auditorium.

Bible75 Class Thursdays @ 7:00-8:15 PM 75 minute in depth Bible study

Join us as we explore the book of 1 Timothy. The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy to encourage him in the faith and affirm his leadership and abilities. Discover how his instructions can be applied to our lives today. Class is free! Join us in the Family Room. Dinner & refreshments served in the Food Court from 6-7 PM.

Celebration Choir Come join the Choir! Thursdays @ 7:00-8:30 PM

FCC’s New Television Stage Available for Booking Now!

Family Community Church is pleased to announce the launch of its newly constructed television stage, “Studio FCC,” located in our Take2 Auditorium, Building B. This new stage was built to accommodate the increasing production demands of the media teams at FCC, and to support the photo and video efforts of local agencies, production companies, and corporate marketing entities. We worked in consultation with several key figures in the professional SF Bay Area TV/film arena to ensure that the specifications of the stage are consistent with high-end industry standards. The stage offers a prelit 65’ x 25’ infinity hard-covered cyc with a green/white split, over 400 amps of dedicated lighting grid and floor power, and a basic grip package. For availability, rates, and booking please contact: John Stalker - Media & IT Pastor 408.656.5907 >> For additional information please visit:

Do you love to sing? Whether you enjoy singing in the shower, the car, or on the stage, FCC’s Choir is the place for you! Not only will you sing a lot and learn how to hone your craft as a vocalist, you will meet great people and develop relationships that will last a lifetime. No experience necessary! Come check it out and get started with this fun and talented group. Contact Rick Engle at Choir@ for more information or just come out to one of our practices!

God is Not Your Grandpa » Continued from PG. 2 just look how cute he is in that basketball uniform!” Because God loves me with all of Himself, He works and labors to make me even more lovable. He knows I have defects that are hurting me, and He will not stop until those things are gone. God can’t be reconciled to my massive character defects. He can’t. He’s love, and that’s not love. In my life, God has given me some very good friends and mentors who actually love me. And I do not think they would be very good friends if they only cared if I were “happy.” What if I were happy being an alcoholic? Or worse, a Dodger fan? I’ll leave you with this quote. It’s by a man named Dallas Willard, a longtime professor of philosophy at USC. He passed away last month. Here’s what he wrote:

 Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 10

“It is one of the major transitions of life to recognize who has taught us, mastered us, and then to evaluate the results in us of their teaching. This is a harrowing task, and sometimes we just can’t face it. But it can also open the door to choose other masters, possibly better masters, and one Master above all.” Maybe it’s time for a different Master. Maybe one that actually loves you right where you are, but loves you far too much to leave you there. David Tieche is FCC’s Teaching & Youth Pastor. You can hear from Dave at FCC’s main services and in the Youth services on Sundays @ 10:45 AM & Thursdays @ 7 PM. Visit Dave’s blog at

Special Hearts Ministry

Red Cross Blood Drive

We minister to the hearts and needs of disabled people and their families, providing spiritual and emotional support through parent groups, fellowship, and special needs buddies. To do this, we also connect with other churches and community groups that provide special needs resources, events and respite care.

Saturday, October 5 9:00 AM - 3:00 PM FCC’s Food Court & Lobby Every blood donor is special. Every reason is unique. Why do you give?

FREE Special Needs Resource Event Cathedral of Faith, 2315 Canoas Garden Ave San Jose, CA 95125 Saturday, Sept. 28 @ 10 AM - 2 PM

When an anonymous donor helped save Amanda’s life, her mom Catherine realized the importance of giving. You can make a difference too. Please make an appointment to give today.

Please visit our web site for information on monthly get togethers, including park days, resources for parents, and more! Questions? Contact Kristine Hodson at

To schedule your appointment, log on to and enter the sponsor code: FCC, or call 1-800-REDCROSS (1-800-733-2767)

San Jose Batting Cages Located inside FCC’s Building B

Hours of Operation: Monday - Friday, 3:30-9:00 PM Saturday & Sunday: 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM

Offering baseball & softball cages, pitching lanes, and more!

Happy Hour - Only 5!

Unlimited Batting Cage Hitting Mon-Fri 12-1 PM, 3:30-4:30 and 8-9 PM

(408) 360-9076


San Jose Batting Cages Services Include: Player Development, Hitting & Pitching Lessons, Team/Group Clinics, Core Fitness Training, Academic Tutoring, and Birthday Parties

ONE FREE TOKEN (10 pitches)

Valid until September 30, 2013 No cash value

Strength Fitness A full body cardiovascular/circuit training workout for anyone who wants to focus on endurance, core training and strength building involving calisthenics. This class will meet you at your current fitness level and will facilitate the building blocks to assist you in reaching your personal goals. You will enjoy jump starting your day with a healthier way of living. Ages 18 and up.

Boot Camp Tuesdays & Thursdays 5:30-6:30 AM Instructor Patty Linares, NASM certified. 408-712-6146

Visit to register

Lay Chaplain Ministry Do you know someone in a convalescent home or senior center who is lonely or would enjoy a visit from a caring individual? FCC has nearly one hundred trained lay chaplains who provide visits to seniors who are often forgotten. Email or call our church office at 408-365-0313 to request a visit. Just provide the name and location and any other pertinent information about a loved one. FCC’s lay chaplains will come and brighten up their day! Please note, the ministry does not make home visits.

Prayer Ministry Our Prayer Team is available during and after our weekend worship services to pray with anyone who would like prayer. In addition, the Prayer Ministry offers: Teaching & Training on Prayer - Every Thursday @ 7:00 PM Join us in FCC’s Chapel for a time of worship, teaching, and prayer. Learn how prayer can change you, your family, children, relationships, church, and the nation! 24 HOUR PRAYER LINE: 408-365-0313 ext 430 (Messages checked daily) Email Prayer Requests to


FACILITY RENTALS Wedding, Convention, Meeting, Event, Quinceañera, Parties, Room Rentals FCC is a huge 17 acres 130,000 SF campus that accommodates small weddings, large conventions or family events like parties and Quinceañeras. Available Facilities 2 large auditoriums, 8,000+ SF, stage, theater lighting, and multi media projectors. Seats 400 for wedding or special meetings and conventions. 1 large auditorium, 20,000 SF, seats 1,450, large stage (70 foot opening, 36 feet deep, 138 feet total width), food court/lobby that accommodates another 950 people. Additional meeting rooms available for corporate/private events. Perfect set up for Wedding & Reception The 8,000 SF auditoriums are next to each other. For weddings or conventions you can have a ceremony/meeting in one auditorium and go right into a meal reception or dance in the adjacent auditorium. For details, Contact Cindy at or call 408-365-0313.

Intro to FCC Luncheon Sunday, September 15 @ 12:15 - 1:45 PM Want to find out more about FCC? You are invited to this free luncheon with Pastor Bill! Find out how FCC started, what we believe, and how you can become a part of the family. Since people from many different church backgrounds attend FCC, this luncheon is designed to help you get to know our leadership and understand our strategy for ministry. Childcare available for $3 per child. Register at

Introverted Husband, Extroverted Wife » Continued from PG. 8 get his energy back by being alone. From his perspective, he didn’t understand why I was clamoring for conversation – didn’t I spend the whole workday talking? If we could just regroup for a couple minutes, he knew we’d have a wonderful evening together, and he was looking forward to it! He wanted to give me his best, but in order to do so he needed to be alone for a bit and let the day go.

regroup and get his energy back. We came up with the “thirty second hug” for when he walks in the door. This is a short but meaningful interaction that means “I love you and I’m glad to be here with you, and when I have more energy I’ll be happy to talk to you.” The hug is followed by some time apart, but I’m not taking it personally anymore. And when he emerges, he’s talkative and enthusiastic. Everyone wins.

. e laughed together a couple weeks ago at W a comic strip that was making the rounds on Facebook. It’s called “Dr. Carmella’s Guide to Understanding the Introverted” by Schroeder Jones, and it’s essentially a comic strip of our life together. In it, an introverted man walks into the room where a woman is sitting on the couch. The directions for the extroverted woman recommend the following: “Say hello, be polite and relaxed, show that you recognize and approve of their presence.”

Now that kids are in the picture, our support of each other’s needs has to be more intentional. He’ll suggest a Family Adventure where we all have quality time together, or stay home with the kids and send me out with a girlfriend so that I can recharge in that interaction. On the flip side, I’ll send him off to a coffee shop for a couple hours when I can tell he’s at his interactive limit. He’ll read some news, sip a mocha, and come back to us ready to take on the world. I haven’t looked into what the experts recommend for such a stark personality difference, but for us, this is working.

Chris turned to me, baffled, and said “Is that really true of me?” I told him how I’ve learned to think of him like a cat. If you want a cat to come to you, you have to play it cool. Show a little bit of interest, but don’t get crazy. On his side of things, Chris had to figure out that at least a little bit of interaction – even when he was totally drained – would tide me over long enough for him to

Missy & her husband Chris met at Multnomah University and now attend FCC and serve as volunteer leaders in the Stage3 Youth Ministry. They are raising their two awesome boys and Chris is the 7th Grade Bible Teacher at Valley Christian Junior High School. Spirit Newspaper • Fall 2013 • 11

FCC Spirit Newspaper - Fall 2013  

A quarterly community newspaper by Family Community Church in San Jose, California.

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