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## ## Davey Dynamite’s TRANSITIONS, from his album “Holy Shit!” (2016). Lyrics provided by Davey & published with his permission. I got acne, my hair is thinning, at the same time and I’m slowly, learning, that I don’t mind cuz my body don’t know, whether to stay young or grow old and at least that means we got something in common I got a job, as a part time janitor but I’m working on getting something more serious I wanna use my degree, I wanna start paying my debt I wanna make my parents proud, I wanna make myself proud I want to be a radical actor I want to start taking my life into my own hands I won’t do that by sleeping in, and eating frozen pizza I won’t do that by feeling sorry for myself I need to kick it into gear I need to start on those projects I’ve been putting off I need to start speaking up against what I know is wrong I need to lead by example and write more protest songs But most of all, what I need, in this time of transitions is to look in the mirror, and sing to myself I got acne, and I’m balding, at the same time I got acne and I’m balding, and I don’t mind

Issue Eight

Not Year Zero “Now you can go where the people are one Now you can go where they get things done” [DK:HiC]


Fantasies Answered Quickly Volume One, Issue Eight

Assembled by Luther Blissett # Welcome Back This issue continues in the pattern of keeping some content in FAQ queer. There’s some other stuff, too. ## Where do you find models for age-different gay relationships? [Continued from Part 1 in Issue 7 of FAQ; this is Part 2] From what I can tell, there are a fair number of men interested ADGR— but there is just not that much information about it. What information we do have is limited to historical figures, perhaps, and some outliers, like Isherwood. I see Isherwood as an outlier, because not every older man is going to be famous novelist with plenty of money, time, and resources to devote to his lover. Not every older lover is going to be able to bring his younger partner into Hollywood, take him around the world traveling, and do all of those exciting things. Equally, not every younger lover is going to be beautiful and physical fit. Not every younger lover will be burgeoning with artistic flair and talent. In short, while I admire and respect Isherwood and his man, I don’t know that they set up the best kinds of expectations or standards for men interested in an ADGR. There are only so many rich men and so many beautiful lads running around. Frankly, by placing emphasis on power, access, beauty, and talent, we’d be emphasizing components that should not define a relationship. Instead, the relationship should be about how the two interact. Let me be clear: I am not doubting the authenticity of Isherwood’s relationship. However, as outsiders to the relationship, it is easy to get lost in the perception of what you or I may think the relationship is about or what helped make the relationship occur. Similarly, as we have a lack of multiple models for relationships, we may think that there’s is the standard one. Page 2

## COIL’s A Warning from the Sun vs. Dance of Death Death overcomes me in an hour: the sun is coming, the sun is coming and leaves no trace of all my power. The dragon flies, the dragon flies: now I’m forced to dance his breath. Drown his breath. All joy and gladness sink at once, will drown this world astral. By death’s strong hand I’m bound fire! The sun is coming! The sun: his chains and cords my heart surrounds, coming dragon flies, breath all whom I used to smile. Will drown this world with Death! Yet spare me for a while, astral fire. This world from men I could respect, command. Astral fire, the sun is coming, Death’s dread power I can’t withstand. The sun is coming; the dragon flies. Now shapeless being bear me off, the dragon flies, his breath will drown. Like apes, they dance and scoff. ## Support the Radical Press!

## Baudelaire “Fountain of Blood” vs. “Death of the Poor” Blood spurts out bogs. Pulsing sobs console and allow us to live, mutter as it goes, wound from which it flows. Be all of our hope a powerful drink. City, coursing lists, islands walk dark frost midst. Creature fed nature at our feet, limit of sight. Its flamboyant red wine magic way described in the book. Will eat, will sleep—even for a day. Hearing more distinct: his magical grip the gift of magnificent dreams. Love failed in a just bed of nails: the poor and the bare. Mystical loft: these women bloody drink their true native land out on mysterious skies. Page 7


## Coil “Heartworms” vs Howard Fast “General Zapped an Angel” There’s too much blood in me. He was able to earn spending alcohol. There’s too much blood in money by killing my unwanted alcohol. Demons general puppies and kittens for five enterings. Demons generally enter each. Not content within my ears, I don’t like drowning animals. He devised what I heard. I don’t like what five other methods destroy. I see: Ghosts vomit over me the unwanted pets. The sight of him, Ghosts vomit over me, liars sitting in the open door through my eyes. There’s gunship, handling submachine blood in my alcohol. Gun like the pro he was. Zapping can’t get enough to numb anything that moved there below. Can’t get enough to numb me.

### COIL’s Batwings vs. Dance of Death A moonpiece to fetch up the golden come. Holy father, you shall be a cup, a snow-piece, to avoid the the first dance along with me. Great heat of the sun is kept indulgence. Helps you not: lays in the night by lights down your double cross and triple crown. Of the moon an ice-piece, so on earth my name was Holiness. As they seem forever fallen, a next God was the highest place. Mighty piece of the dismal supper, indulgence brought me wealth in store and strange entertainment. Rare now, death spares my self no more chance: a handsome piece of deformity. Page 6

We need more examples—good and bad—and that is one of my key goals: to provide an example, no matter how flawed it may be, so that interested men can have an added sense of just what may be possible in an ADGR. Given all this, why am I writing? I’m writing because my partner is aging, we’re facing some serious health issues, and I want to record what it is like to be in a committed ADGR before he passes. I want to document what it is like now, when things are good and strong, but knowing that the end may be coming in two or five or ten years. I also want to make sure that there is another example beside Isherwood. Most of us in ADGR, I’m willing to bet, are not world class writers with great Hollywood connections. Most of us, I suspect, are down to earth and relatively normal people. My hope is that by sharing this, folks—particularly younger men—can have some ideas and options about what they choose to pursue in their lives.

## Repo Man Quote Bud: Okay. Have a nice day, Uh, night. [to himself] Bud: Night, day, doesn't mean shit.

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## Variations on Cowardice As some of the most highly educated people in this country, and by that I mean we've served more time in educational institutions than most human beings alive now or ever in the past, we behave rather strangely when facing critique or confrontation. Or perhaps our behavior is not odd but should be expected. After all, education is just another institution, another means for structuring and controlling society. It's a means to perpetuate the status quo while making sure there's an agreed set of values that we share. In the mean time, though, we have some learning that takes place. What is truly troubling, or at least one of the facets is that we don't really see ourselves as institutional keepers or minders. Which, actually, is much more of what we do than actually supporting learning. Or that seems to be the heartfelt focus of our institutional demands. Measure. Number. Data. Stats. Graduation. Income. Numbers upon numbers. I am sick of numbers. I am. Somewhere, somehow, I thought I was going to be involved in inspiring learning and encouraging folks to learn. What's happened is that I've become too invested in the tenure culture of serving the institution instead of serving the students. That kind of service is not terribly useful for students, not in most ways. Kind of sad, thinks I. Kind of sad. Cowards we are because, over all, in spite of our own education, critical and analytical skills, we're not being honest and looking in the mirror. We're so afraid of being critiqued, being labeled as who and what we are instead of how we think we'd like to be represented or our own representations to ourselves, that we don't look or apply those skills to ourselves. What ever happened to reflection? What happened to actually thinking about who we are and what do? Not sure where that went. Not sure at all. ## PK Dick quote “Everything in life is just for a while.” ― Philip K. Dick, A Scanner Darkly Issue Eight

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## Dune quote “It is so shocking to find out how many people do not believe that they can learn, and how many more believe learning to be difficult.” ― Frank Herbert

## Cut-Ups Over the past couple decades, I have experimented with cut-up. One of my longer-term projects involves cutting up Coil’s lyrics with other sources. Some tests are short. Other tests have multiple iterations. These are just a few of the results. Original sources cited. However, these have been cut-up, rearranged, and edited multiple times. Page 5

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