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selves. Contacts and experiences with the adopted child, however, may have removed inhibitions and unconscious fears, particularly those of having a child. Such parents tend to remain forever grateful to their adopted child. Only in cases where the adopted child turns out to be severely disturbed or retarded might those parents weaken in their gratitude, perhaps for the sake of their own children, and neglect the adopted one or put him into an institution. Adoptions occurring after the child has turned six months of age create problems, and these increase the older the child becomes before he is adopted. Adopting parents or foster parents can hardly hope to take the parents' place for a child who has been in an orphans' home or an institution for the first two, three, or even six years of his life. It will take an enormous effort of upbringing and loving care to undo what the institution has unintentionally done to the child. Growing up in an institution means sharing the attending persons with fifteen or twenty other children and, among other things, having to accept shifts and staff turnovers. Adopting parents have a chance of being accepted by a foster child (albeit as substitutes for his true psychological parents, who, in this case, are the foster parents) only if the child has lived his first two, three, or six years of life with the same foster parents who were fond of him and who would not part with him if they did not have to. In the beginning, at least, adopting parents would be more successful in their efforts on behalf of the child the more they would resemble and act like the foster parents. In many ways foster children are like adopted children. They may live with their foster parents, but they have not been legally adopted. If the reason for nonadoption is merely a technicality and not a special reluctance on the part of the foster parents to commit themselves, they may be no different than adoptive parents. Ordinarily, foster parenthood is of a somewhat more temporary nature. Their custody may be revoked by the authorities. Adoption, on the other hand is final. Legally, adopting parents are considered as the real parents.

Profile for FamilyConstellation

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

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