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Family Constellation

tions he feels relatively most comfortable and content, his original characteristics and social preferences can usually be clearly distinguished. Often the person himself does not know that he has those behavior characteristics and those preferences in his contacts with other people. Others do recognize them, however, and they respond to them instinctively and often unconsciously in their contacts and dealings with him. Hence, the reader should not necessarily expect to recognize himself in the portrait corresponding to his sibling position. Yet, if others tell him that the portrait does fit him, he should at least concede that they might be right and perhaps observe himself a little longer and more carefully. After all, the portraits describe what a person really does over and over again in his daily life and not what he thinks he does. They also do not describe what he might like to be, but is not. More often the incumbents of particular sibling positions will recognize essential features of themselves in these portraits. However, dear reader, if both your self evaluation and the evaluation your friends and acquaintances make about you seem to contradict a given portrait, particularly when you have neither a multiple distal nor a middle sibling position but rather a "pure" one, you would have to check a few things. The sibling position of one or both of your parents, unusually large or small age differences between you and your next older or next younger sibling, special circumstances such as changes of residence, separations from family, or losses of family members, all may have altered your family situation. If it is not yours, but an acquaintance's, a friend's, or a colleague's sibling position portrait that does not seem to fit, an informal inquiry into the sibling position of that person's parents or into special circumstances might be possible or even welcome. Other factors might be stronger than the composition of individuals making up a family and its effects upon the person in question. Living conditions, personal illnesses, special physical likenesses to certain family members, even characteristics of the person's bodily constitution or special talents may come into effect (see also p. 59ff). It could also be that in an extrafamilial context, a particular per-

Profile for FamilyConstellation

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior  

Walter Toman - Family Constellation - Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior

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